Distractibility, novelty-seeking, and a tendency to expect the worst all contribute to the ADHD-related challenge of staying with the good and shaking off the bad. When this happens with my own therapy clients with ADHD, I recommend self-monitoring, or the practice of observing your mood and behavior with intention. In my experience, it has powerful effects on symptom control and wellbeing.
If self-monitoring is new to you, here are two ways to work it into your everyday life.
Self-Monitor to Notice Your Wins
The ADHD brain is often quick to fixate on the next big thing — landing your dream job, making your TikTok post go viral, hoping for love at first sight on your next date — which can crowd out simple pleasures. Self-monitoring helps you stay with your small moments of joy.
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Happiness comes from the smallest seeds — moments like:
- giving directions to a lost tourist
- getting positive feedback in an art class
- showing up on time for an appointment
- crossing an item off your to-do list
- hearing from a friend who you thought was mad at you
- having something go smoothly that you thought would be a hassle
Individually, these happy moments may not be life-changing, but as they add up over the course of the day, they have tremendous effects on mood. Plus, focusing on micro-moments crowds out negative thoughts. The more you notice these moments of happiness, the more you expect to find them.
Your task: Each day, track pleasant moments of happiness that you’d rate between 1 to 3 on a 10-point happiness scale, with 10 being euphoric. Keep a running list of low-level happy moments on your phone or in a notepad — whatever promises the easiest reference. You’ll notice a change in your mood in as little as a week. A few of these moments a day can sustain happiness better than waiting for that rare 10/10 moment.
[Read: How to Get Out of a Funk]
Self-Monitoring as a Mental Spam Filter
Self-monitoring isn’t just about tracking the good. It’s also about noticing — and managing — the mental junk mail. Just as an email spam filter catches scammy or irrelevant messages, self-monitoring can help you notice, identify, and delete unhelpful thoughts.
It’s not your fault if your thoughts trend negative. Humans evolved to survive by rehearsing threats, and people with ADHD often develop negative thought patterns from years of difficulty. But it is your responsibility to manage what you let into your mental inbox. That said, negative pop-ups from your inner critic like “I’m going to fail,” “I’ll be rejected,” or “I can’t handle this” are not messages that deserve your attention; they’re spam. They show up uninvited and threaten to derail your focus or your mood. The mere act of recognizing these messages as junk mail does a lot to reduce their impact.
Simple Pleasures & ADHD Mood Monitoring: Next Steps
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Nathaly Pesantez
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