ReportWire

Tag: wife

  • Have Christians Blurred the Line Between Condoning Sin and Showing Compassion?

    Have Christians Blurred the Line Between Condoning Sin and Showing Compassion?

    [ad_1]

    Have Christians blurred the line between condoning sin and showing compassion? While many people see this as a thin line, it really isn’t. Condoning sin and showing compassion are two radically different things. Sadly, many Christians and churches as an entire unit have blurred these and made them synonymous. Even though many individuals and church organizations have done this, it is not right.

    Condoning sin means you are accepting the sin. However, showing compassion is showing genuine concern, care, and love for someone else. As we can see, these are two polar opposite things. Nowhere within the realm of compassion are we supposed to accept or encourage sin. Compassion and condoning sin are not synonymous with each other. Rather than blurring the lines between condoning sin and showing compassion, we need to take a biblical approach to all issues.

    As in the case of many unethical sins, such as homosexuality and abortion, we can show compassion to those who have struggled and engaged in these sins, yet we should never condone their sin. Regardless of the type of sin, we should never approve of it. We should show compassion, love, and support to all people despite their sin, yet never are we to gloss over the sinful behavior. In our interactions with each other, we need to follow the example of Jesus Christ. Jesus loves people, yet He does not approve of their sins.

    In the same way, the Lord is compassionate to us while never condoning our sins. Since this is what the Lord does, we should follow His example and likewise extend compassion, but not condone sin. Whether in the lives of others or our own lives, we shouldn’t accept sin. It can be easy to rationalize our own sin and the sin of others—but this is wrong and does not bring glory to God. We need to recognize our sin for what it is and make the choice to turn away from it. Through repentance, we are led back to God and do our best to cease engaging in the sin.

    Instead of living a life of sin, we want to live a life in service to God. When we live for God, we bring Him the most glory and praise. If we choose to blur the lines between condoning sin and showing compassion, we are blurring the lines of what is right and what is wrong. Are we to show compassion? Absolutely. Are we supposed to condone sin? Absolutely not. Rather than blurring the lines between these two things, we need to follow Jesus’ example. We should show compassion to all people regardless of their sin, yet we don’t need to act as though their sin is not a big deal or doesn’t have eternal consequences.

    If we condone sin, especially sin of those who don’t know Jesus, we are giving the false notion that what they are doing is okay. While we shouldn’t be aggressive or hostile when we are addressing sin, we should make sure the person knows it is wrong. It is possible to show compassion while simultaneously addressing the person’s sin. In fact, it might help the person be more prone to turn away from the sin if you talk with them in gentle words and extend compassion. If you choose to be angry and upset, it could cause them to respond in the same way.

    Breaking the Line

    To help others best, we need to distinguish the solid line between condoning sin and showing compassion. It is easier to do both of these things combined instead of doing what God wants us to do. Sadly, it is more common for us to show compassion but fail to show and tell the person their sin is wrong. Especially regarding homosexuality. Many Christians have accepted various sins because they are socially acceptable, such as homosexuality.

    This is a sad reality, yet it could be because these individuals are not aware of the line between condoning sin and showing compassion. If you are having a difficult time seeing the line between these two things, ask God to help you. Ask Him to help you not blur these lines and to see things as He sees them. Engage in the Bible and devote yourself to reading the Bible each day. Through prayer and Bible reading time, God will help you see the line between condoning sin and showing compassion. There is a thick line between these two things, and God wants you to be aware of the difference.

    As Christians, we don’t need to compromise to be seen as socially or politically correct. At the end of all things, what matters is what God says. We have to choose whether we will stand with Him or with the world. Each time we condone sin or encourage others to participate in sin, we are hurting God. Never should we accept, condone, or encourage sinful behavior. In everything we do, we need to treat those engaging in a sinful lifestyle the way we want to be treated. This means if we were struggling with a sin and it was very apparent in our lives, we would want someone to call us out on it so we could take steps away from the sin. 

    Part of loving people and showing compassion is to condemn sin. While we shouldn’t be mean or hateful to others, we do need to tell them when something is going wrong. As Christians, it is our responsibility to help our fellow brothers and sisters in their walk with God, just as it is their responsibility to help us in our own walk. If we see a brother or a sister commit a sin and it is ongoing, we need to talk with them about it. We don’t need to condone it, nor do we need to ignore it. If we ignore it, it will only become worse with time. 

    Unfortunately, many Christians have blurred the line between condoning sin and showing compassion. Despite this being true for the modern day, we don’t have to allow it to persist. We must distinguish the line between condoning sin and showing compassion because these are two different things. We are not truly being compassionate and caring if we condone sin because sin causes a person to be further away from God. If we are being compassionate, caring, and loving, we are pointing out their sin, praying for them, and taking any tangible steps to help them in their struggle. 

    Therefore, it is time for the church to see the difference and make the proper changes to bring true glory to God. The Lord doesn’t want us to coddle sin, nor does He want us to encourage it. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. We shouldn’t want to continue in our destructive habits and behaviors. Since the Lord died for our sins, we should do our best to not sin and follow Jesus as best as we can. While no one is perfect, we can take steps each day to follow Jesus and help others do the same. 

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/John Fornander

    Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.

    [ad_2]

    Vivian Bricker

    Source link

  • The Beautiful Blessing of Down Syndrome

    The Beautiful Blessing of Down Syndrome

    [ad_1]

    Even though it is the most common chromosomal condition diagnosed yearly, parents are still shocked when they hear their child will be born with Down Syndrome. No wonder, as it can cause great fear and concern that their child won’t be exactly as they expected. What will their level of cognition be? What will they be able to accomplish? Will we have the endurance and strength to raise a child with Down Syndrome? Though everyone’s situation is different, just as each person is unique, I wanted to share our experience with my sister in hopes of encouraging you that God’s plan is more amazing than we can imagine.

    My parents were not fortunate to have ultrasound and other testing to tell them my sister Patricia, my mom’s fourth child, would be born with the chromosomal condition. In fact, physicians didn’t realize that she had Down Syndrome until she was five years old and still hadn’t spoken a word. As the seventh child, I was dragged to many doctor appointments for her, but it didn’t strike me as odd–I just thought she had hearing problems.

    When she was young, all of us siblings played together. We never thought she was different; just frustrating at times when she wouldn’t follow directions. We were all mischievous knuckleheads who hung around with the 40 or so kids who lived on our suburban block. No one ever criticized my sister growing up, though she went to a different school than the rest of us, and no one ever thought to hold her back from pursuing things she wanted to do.

    She was able to attend our high school because we were fortunate to have a class that worked just with the developmentally disabled for four years. Patricia couldn’t wait to graduate from her special high school class after a visit from some local firefighters. They told her she could probably get a job at the local hospital (instead of Steak and Shake, where she was wiping tables), and she went for it! My parents doted on her at this point because doctors told them not to expect her to live past age 21. So off to the hospital she went to work in food service.

    Over our adult years, we had good times and bad. Patricia was always so helpful around the house in addition to her work at the hospital. But my parents would often get a call from her boss that she was talking to people instead of getting her job done on time. Like everyone else I’ve met with Down Syndrome, she has always loved people and doing things for them. For Patricia, that meant designing and mailing greeting cards to hundreds of firefighters a year. My parents were a bit embarrassed that she was taking work time to ask them for their address to send them a card, but the firefighters were almost always incredibly kind to her.

    There were other big and little frustrations/embarrassments, like her habit of immediately handing back a gift you gave her if it wasn’t quite right (why pretend she liked it?). She has always loved candy, and even as an adult, she would run into the street at the Fourth of July parade to collect treats being thrown (but then would share with some of the kids). She hasn’t missed dressing up for Trick or Treating since she was little, and we’ve never had anyone question it. She has never been shy about asking anyone for something she needed–like going to the neighbors to borrow their lawn mower when my Dad’s was broken (without his knowledge).

    But then there were the hundreds of times she would do things for all of us that we didn’t expect. She would create huge collages to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. She has offered regularly to help with anything we are doing around our houses. She would look for ways to bless strangers wherever we went. When I got very sick years ago, she would call so I could drive her somewhere, and I would tell her I couldn’t. She’d say, “Yes, ya can!” I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve thought about that phrase. She believes in people more than they believe in themselves and is a fount of encouragement.

    My parents worried about her their entire lives. They didn’t know if they should arrange for a group home for her and didn’t want to face saying goodbye–so they never did anything. They trusted in their Heavenly Father to provide for her since He sent her to them as a gift. The older and more frail they became, Patricia started doing even more for them without complaint. The other siblings in the area helped, but her daily assistance doing cleaning (which she loved to do) was such a blessing to my parents. An even bigger blessing was when they got to see her retire from her hospital job after 37 years of employment!

    Now at age 62, she is more active than ever. Patricia, me, and three other sisters live within a mile of each other. She participates in a group for developmentally disabled adults that is more active than the rest of us put together. They go to plays, restaurants, athletic events, botanical gardens, concerts, do schoolwork to keep growing – and celebrate one another regularly. She volunteers with a dog and cat rescue and is in charge of growing her garden, choosing the kind of flowers that Mom loved.

    I’m ashamed that I’ve worried more about her than prayed for her. I never gave God enough credit for His sovereignty— I just couldn’t imagine how He would get this woman through this evil world. But part of the blessing of Down Syndrome is watching what He does in the lives of His special people. They are a trophy of His grace; we get to be part of the overflow.

    I want to leave you with a story that I hope will make you smile. It’s a great example of Patricia’s belief in herself.

    Most people are familiar with the Wahlberg family because sons Mark and Donnie are movie and television stars, and Donnie led a 1990s boy band called New Kids on the Block. Patricia is a huge fan of Donnie, so when she heard that they were opening a Wahlburgers restaurant in our town, she was beyond excited, thinking she might see him someday. Though she was in her late 50s, her goal was to get a job once they opened.

    She called me to take her to the groundbreaking ceremony, and I reluctantly took her. I didn’t want to get her hopes up that she could get a job there or think Donnie would be on-site. She was undeterred, so I took her.

    The ceremony took place under a tent, and a few hundred fans were behind a police line on three sides of the enclosure. When the ceremony was over, we called out to Brother Paul Wahlberg, who was 20 feet away, and asked if Trish could get a photo with him. He was kind to oblige, and she proceeded to surprise him and me by asking for a job. She listed all of her qualifications to him. He was incredibly gracious. He called over his General Manager, and Patricia talked his ear off. The people in the crowd were starting to overhear all of this and were getting excited. The GM then announced to the crowd that Patricia was officially hired as their first employee at that location. The fans began cheering for her now.

    We didn’t realize it, but Donnie also came around for photos with fans. I warned Patricia that she couldn’t get near him because he had a police escort. But as he walked by, I told him that Patricia had just been hired as their first employee. She asked a police officer to go around the barricade; Donnie congratulated her and gave her a big hug.

    [I shared this story on Facebook; when asked to share it publicly, it got 7,000 shares and 25,000 hits in 24 hours. Of the hundreds of comments, most responded to Patricia’s “can-do” attitude.]

    On the way home in the car, she looked up and said, “See Mom! I did it!”

    I looked up and said, “Thank You, God!”

    And I still thank God for bringing this beautiful, generous, tenacious, creative, and selfless person into the world. Our family would have been at a great loss without her.

    Please be encouraged by what God can do through the life of your wonderful child!

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Jessie Casson

    Mary Oelerich-Meyer is a Chicago-area freelance writer and copy editor who prayed for years for a way to write about and for the Lord. She spent 20 years writing for area healthcare organizations, interviewing doctors and clinical professionals and writing more than 1,500 articles in addition to marketing collateral materials. Important work, but not what she felt called to do. She is grateful for any opportunity to share the Lord in her writing and editing, believing that life is too short to write about anything else. Previously she served as Marketing Communications Director for a large healthcare system. She holds a B.A. in International Business and Marketing from Cornell College (the original Cornell!) When not researching or writing, she loves to spend time with her writer daughter, granddaughter, rescue doggie and husband (not always in that order).  

    [ad_2]

    Mary Oelerich-Meyer

    Source link

  • How to Share the Gospel with Your Grandkids if the Parents are Non-Believers

    How to Share the Gospel with Your Grandkids if the Parents are Non-Believers

    [ad_1]

    My friend and I were discussing the joys of grandkids when the conversation took a hairpin turn.

    “I really haven’t said much of anything about God to my daughter’s kids because she doesn’t approve. I don’t know why I struggle so much with this. I guess I’m afraid she’ll get mad at me.”

    Sadly, many grandparents face this dilemma. Their children don’t value faith in God, so grandchildren are growing up starved for spiritual nourishment. For some, the situation is even worse. Their children vehemently oppose God, teaching their children to despise His ways.

    Yet God exhorts grandparents to influence their grandchildren to know and love Him.

    Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren, but the sinner’s wealth passes to the godly (Proverbs 13:22 NLT).

    Leaving a monetary inheritance would be nice, but what better legacy can you leave to grandchildren than love and respect for God?

    Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green. They will declare, “The Lord is just! He is my rock! There is no evil in him!” (Psalm 92:14-15 NLT)

    Grandparents must deliver the good news about Jesus first and foremost to their families.

    While there is no doubt grandparents have a spiritual mission to their grandchildren, a question remains. How do you share the gospel with your grandkids if their parents are non-believers?

    First, we’ll consider four biblical principles about sharing the gospel under adverse circumstances. Then I will offer some practical ideas for implementing a plan.

    1. You will suffer opposition to the gospel, but God equips you.

    “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves” Matthew 10:16 NLT).

    Jesus spoke these words to His disciples before sending them out to announce that the Kingdom of Heaven is near. He also sends us with the same message into the same broken world filled with “wolves” who oppose us. Perhaps those wolves will be your own children or grandchildren.

    But we are not to fear! Jesus continued with this encouragement:

    For it is not you who will be speaking—it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you (Matthew 10:20 NLT).

    The Spirit of God living in us imparts wisdom and words to speak. We don’t have to figure it out by ourselves.

    2. When words are prohibited, your godly life speaks.

    Even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives (1 Peter 3:1b-2 NLT).

    Peter gives this principle in the context of wives living with non-believer husbands, but I believe grandparents may also rely on it. It agrees with Matthew 5:16, in which Jesus explains how His light will shine from believers as behaviors that glorify God.

    3. Spiritual opportunities occur more often within the context of relationships and time spent together.

    One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. For I long to visit you so I can bring you some spiritual gift that will help you grow strong in the Lord (Romans 1:10-11 NLT).

    Emmanuel, God with us, demonstrates the power of an in-person relationship. Knowing this, Paul also deeply desired to visit the people in Rome to share a spiritual gift that would increase their faith. The act of traveling to them to spend time together communicated gospel truths better than other, more distant forms of communication.

    4. God listens to your prayers for the lost.

    Just before His death on the cross, Jesus prayed to His Father for his disciples. But His prayer didn’t stop there.

    I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message (John 17:20 NLT).

    Jesus’ prayer passed resurrection power from generation to generation all the way into our lives here in the twenty-first century. If Jesus, who is God, prayed for those who would believe in the future, don’t you think we should continue to pray for them?

    13 Practical Ideas

    1. Project God’s character through your winsome attitude and lifestyle.

    Make your actions and message hopeful and appealing rather than gloomy and critical.

    2. Respect your non-believing children by promoting family unity.

    God commands children to honor their parents (Exodus 20:12). Grandparents’ efforts to share the gospel with grandkids should never undermine parental authority or communicate disdain.

    3. Spend time with your grandkids.

    Display an interest in them, showing up for holidays, special events, sports, and everyday life. Discover what they enjoy doing and join in. The love you communicate through time spent together may result in respect for your values and a desire to know more about God over time.

    4.  Invite the grandkids to go to church with you.

    If non-believing parents are more apathetic to God than hostile, offer to take the grandkids to Sunday school and church. Better yet, invite them to sleep over the night before to spend more time together.

    5. Concretely demonstrate your spiritual life and relationship with God.

    If the grandkids spend the night, allow them to see you study your Bible and pray every morning. At mealtimes, pause to pray, even if no one else joins you.

    6. Talk about God’s work in your life.

    If your non-believing children will not permit you to directly tell your grandkids about God, avoid statements that dictate what they should believe. Instead, simply and naturally explain how you view the world using “Here’s what I believe” statements such as these:

    Sunday is the best day of the week because I get to go to church.

    Reading the Bible every morning helps me start the day on the right foot.

    When I talk to God, He gives me peace in my heart.

    When I have a problem, I read my Bible to find answers.

    7.  Communicate everyday biblical principles without preaching.

    For example, when talking with your preteen grandchild about money earned from shoveling snow, you can reinforce the biblical concept that when you’re faithful with a little, more will be entrusted to you. Without mentioning the Bible, you will have planted God’s truth in your grandchild’s mind.

    8. Reinforce the importance of righteousness in every area of life.

    For example, when playing games together, say, “We want to do the right thing by following the rules.” Always emphasize the importance of the truth. Help a teen needing friendship advice to see the wisdom of putting others first. This develops a thirst for moral values in your grandkids.

    9. Watch for signs of spiritual readiness.

     God created each person with a desire to know Him (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Sooner or later, your grandkids will display a need to know more about God. Ask God to help you perceive their heart needs and be ready with thoughtful questions to lead to opportunities to share truth.

    10. Demonstrate the love of God through carefully chosen gifts.

    Gifts for your grandkids should reveal the beauty of Christ. For example, while their non-believing parents may allow the ugliness of vampires, you don’t need to reinforce such interests. While you may not be allowed to give an overtly Christian gift, many “non-Christian” gifts stir up interest in spiritual matters. If the gift involves time with you, it adds an even better purpose for relationship building. For example, give your grandkids a game that promotes open-ended conversation (e.g., Ungame) in which you can insert spiritual truths. Then play it with them. Or take them to a classic play or movie with Christian themes (e.g., Les Miserables).

    11. Offer interesting books that pique spiritual interest.

    Perhaps even read them aloud together. As a preteen, I had a teacher who gave me The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. At the time, I had no idea it contained a Christian theme. But its message softened my heart to create understanding and connections for subsequent encounters with the gospel.

    12. Endure scoffing with grace.

    Your non-believing children, or even your grandkids, may tease you or mock your faith. Take on the humility of Christ (Philippians 2:5) rather than taking offense. Forgive and love rather than defending and arguing. God may use your meekness to prick their conscience.

    13. Love and encourage your non-believing children.

    Build them up by praising their strengths and avoiding criticism. They will not only experience the love of God through you, but you will also be maintaining open communication and access to your grandkids.

    Adjust Your Approach as God Gives Insight

    These practical ideas provide a starting point for sharing the gospel with your grandkids if the parents are non-believers. You will need to tweak them, though, depending on the attitude of your unbelieving children. If they are simply uninterested in matters of faith, they may not disapprove if you openly share the gospel with your grandchildren. Don’t hesitate to take advantage of this wonderful open door to influence their hearts for Christ. But if your unbelieving kids are hostile to God, you must become more creative in your interactions. Your relationship with the grandchildren will be the bedrock of opportunities, so prioritize spending time with them. You may be the only Christian influence in their lives.

    My friend Michelle allowed fear to deter her efforts to share the gospel with her grandkids. Perhaps fear has caused you to hesitate too. You may worry about anger directed toward you. Or you may fret about destroying your relationship with your non-believing children and being cut off from your grandkids. But God addresses these common fears.

    Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety (Proverbs 29:25 NLT).

    Ask God to conquer your fears and lead you to step out in faith that passes on a rich spiritual inheritance to your grandchildren. Our faithful God may even surprise you by bringing your unbelieving children into His family along with your grandkids.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Rudi Suardi

    Annie Yorty writes and speaks to encourage others to perceive God’s person, presence, provision, and purpose in the unexpected twists and turns of life. Married to her high school sweetheart and living in Pennsylvania, she mothers a teen, two adult children (one with intellectual disabilities), and a furry beast labradoodle. She has written From Ignorance to Bliss: God’s Heart Revealed through Down Syndrome. Please connect with her at http://annieyorty.com/, Facebook, and Instagram.

    [ad_2]

    Annie Yorty

    Source link

  • How Should Christians Respond to Pride Month?

    How Should Christians Respond to Pride Month?

    [ad_1]

    June is officially the start of Pride Month. For many Christians, this can be a time of uneasiness. While Christians should not accept homosexuality, we should not be mean or hateful towards them. Jesus wants us to love all people as He does, and this includes homosexuals. Since this is true, we as Christians need to know how to respond to Pride month in a biblical manner.

    As mentioned, Christians should not hate homosexuals; however, we should not encourage them in their sinful behaviors. The Bible tells us, “Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable” (Leviticus 18:22). As God tells us, men should not have sexual relations with other men, nor should women have sexual relations with other women. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman (Mark 10:6-9). 

    By accepting same-sex marriage and same-sex relations, you are accepting and condoning sin. Homosexuality is a sin, and as believers, we need to see it as such. This means that we need to help our fellow friends and family members who struggle with this sin understand what the Bible says. We cannot make anyone believe anything, yet we can give them the proof found in the Bible. If they are a believer, the Holy Spirit will convict them of their sin and lead them to repentance. 

    It’s important to note that just as a recovering alcoholic must actively war against alcoholism throughout their life, there are true Christians who struggle with homosexuality, even if it is a problem they must war against throughout their life. Famous author, poet, and rapper, Jackie Hill Perry, struggled with the sin of homosexuality, and despite being married with children, she still reports struggling with homosexuality. Jackie Hill Perry recognizes the goal of Christianity is salvation and growing closer to God—not necessarily being healed from your sin in the present life.

    God desires for us to come to know Him more. His main desire is for us to grow deeper in our relationship with Him and to continue the process of sanctification in our lives. Many Christians believe someone who struggles with homosexuality would be “cured” or “healed” if they marry someone of the opposite gender, but this doesn’t usually work. This can lead to broken homes, lies, and hurts. If you struggle with homosexuality or you know someone who does, simply dating someone of the opposite gender won’t “fix” your homosexuality. This is a spiritual problem that needs to be addressed with God, not a manmade problem that we can force into a solution. 

    God desires for you to lean more on Him. It doesn’t mean you will automatically be interested in heterosexual relationships, nor does it mean these urges will go away. Rather, God will help you with these urges and give you the support you need. The important part is turning away from the sin, repenting, and choosing to live for God each day. It can be difficult at times, but God will be with you every step of the way, and He will be with your loved one who is struggling as well.

    Responding to Pride

    As Christians, we need to respond to Pride Month in a way that is biblically accurate. This means we should love and care about those involved, yet we must also point them to Christ. We don’t need to be rude, hateful, or mean to those who are involved with Pride Month. Instead, we need to demonstrate Christ in our actions. The Apostle John tells us, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18). As John tells us, we need to show our love for them through our actions. 

    This can pose the question, “How can I show love to my brother or sister who is struggling with homosexuality?” This answer is twofold. For one, we can show love to our brothers and sisters struggling with homosexuality by being kind, caring, and wanting the best for them. We shouldn’t use derogatory language toward them, nor should we make fun of them. This is all hurtful and won’t turn someone to the Lord. If the person already knows the Lord, your hurtful words and comments might turn them further away from repentance.

    Secondly, we can show love to our brothers and sisters struggling with homosexuality by pointing them to the Bible. We need to do this in a way that is not seen as accusing them or trying to say something negative about them. Rather, we should point to what the Bible says and allow the Scriptures to convict the individual. It is worth mentioning that there will be many people who struggle with homosexuality that won’t be responsive to the teachings of the Bible. They might see you as trying to push your faith on them, which will only cause them to run further away from the Lord. Nonetheless, it is vital to use Scripture, in a God-honoring way, to show others the truth. 

    Choose to build friendships with those struggling with homosexuality and allow your growing friendship to foster the bond of trust. Once they trust you and see that you want the best for them, they might be more open to hearing what the Bible says. However, there might be some people who genuinely don’t care what the Bible says and choose to continue to live their life of sin. If this happens, don’t see yourself as a failure. Instead, do your best to share what the Bible says and allow the Holy Spirit and the Scriptures to convict them. If you are sharing the truth of the Bible and the gospel message, then you are doing what is right. 

    Moving Further

    Moving further throughout the month of June, you might come across many Pride parades and festivals. In my hometown, the Pride parade is a huge event that attracts thousands of people. While it can be heartbreaking at times to see so many people turn away from God and celebrate sin, going to Pride parades or festivals can be a great time to get to know people, build friendships with them, and help them know the truth of the Bible. Yes, this can be difficult and intimidating, yet God wants us to help those who do not know Him and those who are living a life of sin.

    Therefore, we need to respond to Pride Month in a way that honors God. There are many extremes among Christians, including those who are hateful of those who struggle with homosexuality and those who accept the sinful behavior. As Christians, we need to approach the situation with prayer and care. We need to be loving, caring, and helpful, yet we must also share what the Bible says. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed with the task at hand, turn to the Lord and ask for His help.

    God wants all people to know Him, including those who struggle with homosexuality. He yearns to redeem their souls and their lives. Never does God want any of His children to remain in a life of sin. God wants all of His children to know Him, love Him, and obey Him as written in the Word. Those who struggle with homosexuality shouldn’t be seen as “worse” sinners because all sin is equal before the eyes of God. In this way, Christians need to stop trying to classify certain sins as being worse than others, including homosexuality. There is hope for those who struggle with homosexuality, and this hope is found in Christ. 

    Photo Credit: ©Brielle French/Unsplash

    Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.

    [ad_2]

    Vivian Bricker

    Source link

  • Why Does the Bible Elevate Gentleness?

    Why Does the Bible Elevate Gentleness?

    [ad_1]

    God’s Word explores many characteristics that the Lord both displays and looks for in His People. One of the most profound of these is gentleness.

    In our modern culture that places so much emphasis on personal achievement and success, gentleness is often dismissed. In fact, many see this other-focused trait as a weakness. But for believers, having a gentle spirit actually shows great strength of character.

    The Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the young church leader Timothy that gentleness was a qualification of anyone who wants to disciple others and help their fellow Christians to grow stronger in their faith.

    “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth…” (2 Timothy 2:24-25).

    As believers today, we are still called to grow in this area.

    What Is Gentleness?

    The quality of gentleness is so much richer than most people think, partly because it can be expressed in so many ways.

    According to Merriam-Webster gentle means, “free from harshness, sternness or violence; honorable, distinguished” or even, “chivalrous.” Interestingly, using it as a verb (to gentle) is to “tame, or to raise from commonality.” That implies giving others respect and consideration – helping them become better.

    Synonyms include compassion, consideration, softness, tenderness, mercy, peace, sympathy, politeness, and gentility. All of these describe a heart that longs to minister to others. But for it to have the full effect, we need to remember that serving and pleasing God is our motivation.

    In Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary, gentleness is “sensitivity of disposition and kindness of behavior, founded on strength and prompted by love.” This beautifully describes how God uses His power on behalf of those who obey Him. And Jesus modeled the same for us during His Earthly ministry.

    Names of God That Imply His Gentleness

    Looking at how our Heavenly Father is described throughout both the Old and New Testaments starts to give us a sense that this attribute is active, passionate and impactful to those who receive it.

    Jehovah Rapha (The Lord who Heals)

    “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases…” (Psalm 103:2-3).

    Jehovah-Raah (The Lord my Shepherd)

    “Hear the word of the Lord, you nations; proclaim it in distant coastlands: ‘He who scattered Israel will gather them and will watch over his flock like a shepherd’” (Jeremiah 31:10).

    Jehovah Shammah (The Lord is There)

    “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

    Good Father

    “’I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:18).

    Abba Father

    “Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father’” (Galatians 4:6).

    Heavenly Father

    “‘Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?’” (Matthew 6:26).

    Each one of these names reminds us of how deep and wide God’s love is, and the power of His gentle spirit.

    What the Scriptures Say about Gentleness

    In the Old Testament books, there are many passages that talk about the gentleness of God.

    “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young” (Isaiah 40:11).

    “Are God’s consolations not enough for you, words spoken gently to you?” (Job 15:11).

    “After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12).

    God reached down to rescue, to comfort, to provide and to guide mankind to become part of His family. And in the New Testament Gospels, Jesus walked the Earth and showed us what this gentleness looked like.

    “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).

    “Say to Daughter Zion, ‘See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey’” (Matthew 21:5).

    “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked” (Luke 6:35).

    Jesus was filled with compassion for people who needed all kinds of healing. And He reached out to those who were unbelievers with an invitation for them to walk with Him.

    In their teachings and letters, the Apostles tried to express gentleness and to train the early Christians how to walk in it.

    “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).

    “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:1-2).

    “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

    Paul, Peter, James and the other Apostles made an effort to instruct their readers about the power of grace to grow Christ’s church.

    How to Grow in Gentleness

    To appreciate the importance of gentleness, we must develop it in ourselves and then show it to others. Doing an honest personal inventory will help us see which aspects of gentleness we already think about, and where there is room for growth. God’s Word is our guide, and His touch will begin to change us:

    – We can examine how the early church cared for others

    – We can study the “one another” verses

    – We can pray for God to soften our hearts toward others

    – We can explore ways to actively reach out to others

    Soon, showing gentleness in our daily lives will become a natural thing. And the most basic of interactions can have a big impact when motivated by Godly love.

    – Offering a listening ear to someone who’s struggling.

    – Giving a smile to someone we pass by when we’re out and about.

    – Using words that show respect to someone we’re talking to.

    – Being a calming presence when someone is angry or upset.

    – Seeking the best for someone else first.

    When we look at gentleness the way God does, we’ll see its value. His Son Jesus walked through the world with this wonderful trait, and we need to follow in His footsteps.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Sasiistock

    Heather Adams is an author, speaker, and singer living in Connecticut. Heather’s passion is to equip and encourage believers to seek more of God’s truth and to experience more of His joy each day. Her book, Bow Down: The Heart of a True Worshipper is a practical, 30-day devotional about worship based on the writings of King David. Heather’s blog, Worship Walk Ministries, offers weekly Scripture passages and insights to ponder. A native New Englander, Heather is settling into her home in the South, trying out local foods and watching for the alligators that live nearby!

    [ad_2]

    Heather Adams

    Source link

  • What to Do When You Unintentionally Hurt Someone

    What to Do When You Unintentionally Hurt Someone

    [ad_1]

    No sooner had the words come out of my mouth did I regret them. I knew immediately that I had messed up. As I glanced over at my friend, her eyes darted away. 

    Everything was fine literally three seconds ago, and now I’m at risk of losing a cherished friend all because of one careless comment. 

    Caught up in the moment, I didn’t consider how it would make her feel. I was being self-centered, and I disrespected her boundaries.

    Have you ever done or said something that you regret? You wish you could take it back, but what’s done is done. Whether intentional or not, how it is perceived is all that matters. 

    It always seems that when I’m not paying attention, someone I care about inevitably gets caught in the direct line of fire of my careless words or actions. 

    This is an area that I have personally struggled with for a long time. To be honest, I feel like no matter how hard I try to be a good wife, friend, mom, or person, I find that I still mess up—a lot. 

    I’m quick to see where I went wrong and am instantly filled with regret and remorse. Yet, what takes only seconds to destroy may take days, months, or even a lifetime to repair. 

    Even though I apologize and do my best to fix the problem, things still don’t feel quite right. That’s when fear, doubt, and questions flood my mind:

    • What if time doesn’t actually heal all wounds?

    • What if they never get over it? 

    • What if they hold this against me forever?

    • What if they bring it up over and over again and never let me live it down?

    And when I can’t seem to get the answers I want, I start to grow upset and anxious. 

    I’m embarrassed to admit that I have actually found myself getting angry at the person who is upset with me because they won’t get over how I hurt them. In my impatience, I just want to move past this moment and on to better days. Selfishly, I get frustrated that things aren’t moving as quickly as I’d like.

    In my effort to understand how best to cope with others when a sincere apology just isn’t enough, I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be a solution besides just throwing my hands up in despair. 

    The truth is this: we live in a world full of imperfect people, full of selfishness, jealousy, rage, discontentment, and pride (Galatians 5:19-21). Because of this, when we feel like we’ve been wronged by another, it can be nearly impossible to get over it. Depending on the state of our heart, we may never (Proverbs 14:30). 

    Oftentimes, these hurt feelings are rooted in past trauma that can cause feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. Simply put, humans are highly sensitive individuals that get hurt easily yet heal ever so slowly.

    It’s important that we make an effort to have empathy for others that struggle in these areas, and it’s part of what being a good friend is all about (Ephesians 4:32). 

    As Christians, we are called to a higher standard: to forgive seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22), to take the log out of our eye before calling attention to the splinter in our friend’s eye (Luke 6:41), to only throw stones if we ourselves are without sin (John 8:7), to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39), to love with patience (1 Corinthians 13:4), and, as much as possible, to live peaceably with others (Romans 12:18). 

    If you have unintentionally hurt someone, it’s time to act and speak intentionally by letting them know:

    The last thing I want is for my carelessness to destroy a meaningful relationship. 

    Once you have said your peace, you must wait; and even though we have absolutely no control over the response of the person we have hurt or the timeline in which they heal and recover, there are still three things I believe we can and should do:

    1. Relinquish Control

    For some of us, relinquishing control may be one of the hardest things to do, but is often the first step toward healing. 

    In 1 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV), Paul points out that love “does not insist on its own way;” instead, you must give up on the way you think it ought to go. 

    Trying to manipulate the situation in hopes of expediting the repair of the severed relationship may actually make things worse and delay the healing process. 

    It’s best to just let go and give them the space they need to process what happened, how they feel about it, and how they plan to proceed. 

    Don’t try to micromanage their recovery. Take a few steps back, and allow whatever time it takes.

    Instead of trying to control the situation, try to focus on God and your own actions, surrendering the outcome to him (Psalm 37:5).

    Act Normal

    Don’t go on as if things have to now be different, especially if they’ve already said they accept your apology. 

    “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 ESV

    When we act differently, it only makes things more awkward.

    While you don’t want to be insensitive to the circumstances that you caused, you also don’t want to read into anything that may not be there. Trust me, try not to read between the lines. I tend to be a “face value” kind of person, which leads to a less stressful life. 

    Over time, the weirdness will fall away, and before long, things will start to feel like they used to before you inadvertently hurt your relationship.

    2. Pray

    Pray because it’s always the right thing to do in all situations (Philippians 4:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer changes things. Prayer has the power to heal hurts and make broken hearts whole again (1 John 5:14).

    Pray because not only are we supposed to pray for our fellow believers (1 Thessalonians 5:25), but we are even commanded to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44), which, I believe, implies we are also to pray for everyone in between (1 Timothy 2:1-2). 

    “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16 ESV

    As you draw near to God in this circumstance, pray your friend will do the same (Hebrews 4:16).

    God is faithful and just to forgive us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). He takes bad circumstances and works them for good (Romans 8:28).

    3. Then Wait Patiently

    While you’re waiting for healing from your unintentionally induced trauma, find inner peace from the Holy Spirit that dwells in you (Philippians 4:7, John 14:27). If you’ve realized and acknowledged your mistake, offered a sincere apology, and made the necessary adjustments in your life to try to keep this from happening again, there’s not much more you can do, except patiently wait (Galatians 6:9). 

    “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3 ESV

    Whatever you do, do not allow guilt and shame to take up residence in your heart. Remember, God looks at the intentions of the heart (1 Samuel 16:7), and if your intentions are pure, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of (Isaiah 50:7). Continue to move forward in his love and grace, and pray for God to work and move in their heart. 

    Do your best to imitate Christ in your relationships (1 Corinthians 11:1). Thanks to this broken world we live in, it’s impossible to get along with everyone all the time. Continue to hold yourself to a Christlike standard, and extend grace and patience to everyone around you. 

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Rawpixel

    Jennifer Jabbour resides in the scenic San Diego countryside with her husband, teenage son and daughter, and their hilarious English Bulldog. Jennifer has a B.A. in Integrated Business Communications and a life-long desire to share her faith with others so they can also experience the joy of having a relationship with God. She has finally decided it’s time to go after her lifelong dream of writing and publishing her first book, and hopefully many, many more thereafter. Besides being a writer, Jennifer is also a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a photographer, and an avid outdoors-woman. She loves camping, hiking, running, and playing the piano in her free time. 

    You can keep up with Jennifer on her website https://www.jenniferjabbour.com.

    [ad_2]

    Jen Jabbour

    Source link

  • Is It True That Gentleness Gets Nothing Done?

    Is It True That Gentleness Gets Nothing Done?

    [ad_1]

    In the Greek version of the Old Testament, the LXX, the word prautes appears 12 times, and 11 times in the New Testament. Here is a sample of their uses.

    In the OT it’s often translated humble—as in Psalm 24:9, 33:3, 75:10, 146:6, and 149:4. In most of these instances it is used to indicate the one who will be “taught by the LORD,” is “lifted up by the LORD,” who will be “adorned with salvation” and “saved.” The word was also used to describe the meekness of Moses in Numbers 12:3, and in Psalm 36:11 it is the meek who will inherit the earth.

    Prautes is also used to translate a different Hebrew word that is often translated “the poor.” This is the case in Job 24:4, Isaiah 26:6, Zechariah 9:9, and Zephaniah 3:12. Just as with “the humble” we see that God is working to defend and rescue “the poor.” The word can also be used to translate another Hebrew word that refers to things like enduring hardship (Psalm 132:1), toil and trouble (Psalm 89:10). And once again the Lord is working for their rescue.

    In the New Testament, the word does not appear in the Gospels or Acts – though it does appear in root form in Matthew 5:5 to describe Jesus. The word is most frequently used by Paul, James, and Peter. 2 Corinthians 10:1 uses the meekness and gentleness (kindness) of Christ as an example for his own pattern. This is similar language to what Paul used in 1 Corinthians 4:21, when he contrasts gentleness with coming to them “with a rod.”

    In Galatians, Ephesians, and Colossians the word is used in lists – combined with things like humility – as virtues and graces. In Galatians it is a mark of being led by the Spirit and it is shown as an example of walking in step with the Spirit in Galatians 6:1. When we attempt to restore someone caught in sin, we are to do it “in a spirit of gentleness.” In 2 Timothy and in Titus, gentleness is to mark the Christian leader. When correcting opponents, it should be done with gentleness. And as we engage others we should avoid quarreling with them but should instead have “perfect courtesy” toward all people. This is similar to how Peter uses the word (1 Peter 3:16).

    James contrasts gentleness with “filthiness and rampant wickedness.” It is the mark of being one of wisdom. The one who is truly wise and who has received the “implanted word” will be marked by gentleness.

    The less common word, epieikes, is used in Paul’s pastoral letters, as well as in James and 1 Peter. It is used similarly to prautes but is more of an opposite of violence. It seems to be synonymous with being a good person. When someone considers someone to have the quality of epiekes, they would say that this is a pleasurable person to be around.

    In sum, the Scriptures show God as a kind and gentle leader. And God in Christ is exemplified by the gentleness with which he labored among others. Therefore, as followers of Jesus we are called to exhibit this character trait in our own lives. And it is to those who are gentle and meek who will inherit the earth—the gentle are the ones who receive God’s rescue.

    Click here to read more verses about gentleness.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Oleksandr Yakoniuk

    [ad_2]

    Mike Leake

    Source link

  • What Is the Significance of Fatherhood in the Bible?

    What Is the Significance of Fatherhood in the Bible?

    [ad_1]

    When you think of the significance of fatherhood in the Bible, our greatest example is our heavenly Father. For some, relating to God as Father can be difficult because you may tie it to your relationship with your earthly father. Regardless of your relationship with your earthly father or the kind of father you have been, there is hope. You have a model which you can always refer to in God, our Father.

    It is not by coincidence that Jesus tells us to pray by calling God Father. This establishes a relationship that forms the basis for the significance of fatherhood in the Bible. As you strive to be a better father (hopefully, that is your goal), then as you look at God as a father, four things underscore the significance of fatherhood. Four truths emphasize the importance of fatherhood in the Bible.

    1. Fathers provide

    “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.” – Matthew 6:31-32

    God is Jehovah Jireh, a name for Him which means God who supplies our needs. Because God is a provider, earthly fathers should also be providers. Today, men and women contribute to household income, and income is usually the primary source of provision. For the record, I have no objection to that at all. Yet even with this, I believe something ingrained in a man’s DNA (at least there should be) makes you want to provide. 

    As crucial as income is, let’s not make the mistake of thinking your provision stops there. When you consider God as our model, he doesn’t just provide physical needs. The provision we all need goes beyond food and shelter. We also have emotional and spiritual needs, which our Father provides for us. If you are going to embrace fatherhood in its complete form, then you must consider being a provider of all your children’s needs. This means you can’t just throw money at every need; you must show up and be present in your children’s lives, especially if you want to be a good father.

    2. Fathers protect

    “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
         my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
     He is my shield, the power that saves me,
         and my place of safety.
     He is my refuge, my savior,
         the one who saves me from violence.” – 2 Samuel 22:2-3 NLT

    Another aspect of God’s character is protection. My daughter is afraid of big dogs; honestly, I don’t blame her. If we are walking and she sees a big dog, she will hide behind me until we get past the dog. It becomes a safe place when she does that because she knows I will protect her. God does this for us, and this plays an important role in fatherhood. As a father, when you show up, the anxiety of the house should go down. The people in your home should feel a little safer because you are present. As a father, you can’t protect your children from everything, but you can comfort them to know you will do your best to protect them. That’s why when fathers vacate this duty or violate their children’s trust, it can have a devastating effect on their lives.

    3. Fathers provide identity

    “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” – John 1:12-13

    One thing that highlights the significance of fatherhood in the Bible is identity. As a believer in Jesus Christ, you are identified as a child of God, and this identity defines who you are. As a father, you provide identity by giving a child their name. Along with the name, your identity gives you a sense of belonging and connection. Since God identifies those in Christ as his children, it means we belong to him. For example, I have two children; my son and daughter both carry the name, Haynes, meaning they belong to me. 

    For the last few years, my son has participated in unified sports, and when they gave him his jersey, the name Haynes was on the back. When he wears the jersey, the audience may not know my son personally, but they know who he belongs to and is connected to. As a father, when you give your child identity and connection, that also gives your child confidence. As fathers, your job is not just to provide them with a name. Focus on being such a tremendous father that your children would be proud to carry that name. I am happy to call myself a child of God because God is such a wonderful father. You should use that as your motivation to be the same in your children’s lives.

    4. Fathers instill purpose

    “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9

    The fourth truth that highlights the significance of fatherhood is purpose. We just established that God gives identity. Here we understand why. You are a child of God, his special possession, called and chosen for a purpose. However, you could not fulfill the purpose in your life until he changed your identity. As a father, when your child is confident in who they are, it helps them pursue what they were created to do. When a child does not have to question who they are, where they come from, and who they belong to, it gives them a head start to fulfilling their purpose in life. As a father, you need to help your children discover their why in life. I am not saying you will have all the answers, but you should be able to help them ask the right questions.

    Final thoughts

    Fatherhood is significant. Your role as a father will have a lasting impact on your children. So, if you are a father reading this, there are two questions I want you to think about. 

    • What type of father are you now?
    • What type of father do you want to be? 

    Regardless of the type of father you have been, there is always room for improvement. It begins with prayer and intently follows it up. I know some of you may have broken relationships with your children. If that is you, keep praying and intentionally trying to repair the relationship. Don’t give up because your role is significant. Remember, God, our Father, is not just a provider and protector. He is also a miracle worker. He specializes in fixing broken things. If your relationship with your children is broken, he

    can help you fix that too.

    For fathers with healthy relationships with their children, be thankful and continue to be intentional. Those relationships did not happen by accident but by work. Regardless of where your fatherhood journey is right now, keep striving to be the best father you can be. You are playing a significant role, and the job you do matters. If you don’t believe me, all you have to do is, ask your children. 

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes

    Clarence L. Haynes Jr. is a speaker, Bible teacher, and co-founder of The Bible Study Club.  He is the author of The Pursuit of Purpose which will help you understand how God leads you into his will. He has also just released his new book The Pursuit of Victory: How To Conquer Your Greatest Challenges and Win In Your Christian Life. Do you want to go deeper in your walk with the Lord but can’t seem to overcome the stuff that keeps getting in the way? This book will teach you how to put the pieces together so you can live a victorious Christian life and finally become the man or woman of God that you truly desire to be. To learn more about his ministry please visit clarencehaynes.com. 

    This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit

    Christianity.com. Christianity.com

    [ad_2]

    Clarence L. Haynes Jr.

    Source link

  • 5 Great Ways Wives Can Serve Their Husbands

    5 Great Ways Wives Can Serve Their Husbands

    [ad_1]

    “Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

    Men fancy the idea of retreating to a peaceful, organized home after a grueling day at work. If it were possible, your husband would love to come to a clean house, play with the kids, and eat dinner together with his family. He would then lead his family in Bible reading and prayer before tucking the kids to bed. After that, he would want to wind down his day in the company of his loving wife before bed.

    Depending on the stage of parenting you are in, most of these aspirations are a mirage. When the kids are young, it’s nearly impossible to maintain a squeaky clean house. Additionally, if both of you hold full-time jobs, expecting your wife to single-handedly provide a clean and organized household is impractical. House chores have to be shared between the husband and wife.

    Having said that, wives can still go out of their way to provide a peaceful environment for their husbands. If possible, you can hire help to take care of some of the chores so your husband can enjoy the tranquility he yearns for. Above all else, wives should ensure they give their husbands peace of mind. Don’t nag him, avoid sweating the small stuff, and forgive him when he makes mistakes. Creating a peaceful home for him is another way of serving him. 

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Maria Korneeva

    [ad_2]

    Keren Kanyago

    Source link

  • 10 Powerful Ways Dads Can Forge a Strong Relationship with Their Daughter

    10 Powerful Ways Dads Can Forge a Strong Relationship with Their Daughter

    [ad_1]

    Without words, my dad faithfully repaired the doorframe every time my teenage angst slammed it off its alignment. No one ever asked him to check on me after an outburst that ended in tears behind that slammed door, but he always did. My dad loved me despite the massive cloud that took over from time to time during those hard, teen years. When I was wrong. When I overreacted. When my heart was broken by some boy. My dad always checked in to make sure I was OK. He reminded me who I was and that he loved me.I realize not everyone is blessed with the same story, but from the outpouring of mine, I share ways that fathers can forge lasting and real relationships with their daughters. It’s not rocket science. Rather, it’s simply putting the door back on the hinges, wiping the tears away, and lending hugs to let them know they are loved more than they could possibly understand.Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Jonathan Borba

    [ad_2]

    Meg Bucher

    Source link

  • A Warning Regarding the “Love All” Movement

    A Warning Regarding the “Love All” Movement

    [ad_1]

    There are a few missing pieces in the current “love all” movement we are seeing in our culture and churches. This new wave of social pressure to take down the walls of morality in order to make us all feel a little more comfortable sounds so attractive. What kind of awful person could argue with the idea that everyone is loved and welcome?

    The truth is, as Christ-followers, we are absolutely called to love our neighbors and extend kindness to everyone we encounter. It’s easy to equate acceptance of every set of potential behavior choices as synonymous with love. I personally wish loving everyone the way God calls us to love was that simple. Everyone does what they want, and we call it good!

    God’s word teaches and models a much more complex view of love. It’s important that we take time to study what God says is love before we grab onto a love narrative that may lead us away from God’s heart. Not everything that looks good with our own eyes is good. Wisdom is so valuable and something we have to search out in a world filled with competing and cunning voices. The Bible is our anchor, and Jesus is our hope. Those are the places we can lean into when we feel unsure about what the next right step toward him should be.

    Luke 21:36 states, “Watch therefore, praying at every season, that you may be accounted worthy to escape all these things which are about to come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.” There is a responsibility that comes with becoming a person of faith. We have to seek out what is good, noble, worthy, true, hopeful, and pure. It’s not always easy to follow the narrow way to Jesus, but it is worthwhile.

    What Is Biblical Love?

    1 Corinthians 13 is known as the ‘love passage’ because it gives us an exhaustive account of what love is according to our Creator. The whole passage is worth reading, but let’s focus on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…”

    Love Always Protects

    Why is protection necessary? We live in a fallen world. There are limits to what is possible and impossible here on Earth in our bodies. We cannot breathe underwater, and consequently, if we spend too much time under the water, we will drown. We are each born with a specific set of DNA that determines so much about us. While this can be frustrating, it is a limitation that we have to accept and do our best to steward well. 

    As Christ-followers, additional limitations are placed on us pertaining to how to best live our lives. We are called to love God, love others, and be a holy or set apart people. God gave us the ten commandments to ground our lives in a moral code that will keep us safe. He also gives us clear instructions about how to express ourselves when it comes to our desires and sexuality. Every person that follows Christ has to lay down their earthly identity and desires. We are told we become a new creation when we accept Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is in Him we live, move, and have our being (Acts 17:28).

    Love Without Boundaries Leads to Death

    God warns us that there is a way that seems right to a man but leads to death (Proverbs 14:12). We cannot trust our eyes alone. It is vital that we immerse ourselves in the Bible so its timeless truths can keep us on God’s path.

    The love the world is clinging to and much of the church has decided to embrace is a love without boundaries. Yet, boundaries are key to a God-centered life. Even at the start of Creation, before the Fall, our ability to have eternity in the Garden with God was contingent on surrendering to a boundary placed by God. God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit from the tree at the center of the garden (Genesis 3). The disobedience of Adam and Eve ushered into our world the struggles that we all now endure daily. The church and culture are beginning to bend His Word and believe that his design can be changed to better suit our will rather than surrendering even the hardest and scariest parts of us over to Him.

    Freedom Happens When We Embrace God’s Love

    Each of us struggles in some way. I struggle with anxiety, depression, anger, and more. We all come with thorns in our sides that make this life hard for us. Some of our struggles look like addiction, trauma, lust, pride, covetousness, same-sex attraction, discontent with the body or gender we have been given, medical diagnosis, and the list goes on. The Christian life is about surrendering our struggle to our Creator and asking him to help us to follow him and his word. Even when it feels impossible, God promises to give us the strength we need to overcome. This is how we find freedom!

    Without boundaries, we are unable to see the places where we need to grow. If all is acceptable and the Bible has no bearing on the lives we are called to live, then we are doomed to destruction. When we take away sin, we remove the need for a Savior. When we begin to call what God has said is wrong, right, we become more and more blind to our great need for redemption and consequently are more lost in the dark than ever. This is not love. This is the blind leading the blind on a road that leads to death.

    God’s love shows us a new way. It protects us from the evil one that is in this world. His Word is trustworthy and powerful. God’s love sets us free to live our best lives with Jesus at the center. We can surrender our struggles to him.

    This is all a mysterious work. It’s so tough for us as humans to find the right balance between grace and truth. As a Christ-follower, it’s not our job to condemn but to point others to Jesus and let him do the transformative work in our lives that only he is able to do. We can show kindness and mercy to all, but we can’t change God’s word for the sake of our own comfort. We have to stand on the truth while sharing love through our actions.

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/sutlafk 

    Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God’s Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.

    [ad_2]

    Amanda Idleman

    Source link

  • Marriage Isn’t the Finish Line, Heaven Is

    Marriage Isn’t the Finish Line, Heaven Is

    [ad_1]

    One of my oldest friends called me the other day to ask her how to “get from Point A to Point B” in her dating relationship. When I asked her what she meant, she said, “Marriage just seems so impossible. So far away. I’ve tried so many times to go from dating to marriage, and it fails every time. So how did you get there?”

    I could totally appreciate her question. It’s not uncommon in the world or the Church. In our culture that views marriage as the end-all-be-all, and relationships like performances, it makes perfect sense that she would wonder how to get to the “finish line.”

    But that’s when it dawned on me that marriage isn’t the finish line, heaven is! I laughed a little and told her, “I’m nowhere near Point B. When my husband and I are on our deathbeds, and we’ve managed to help each other stay close to God, then maybe that’s when I’d be nearing Point B. So, ‘succeeding’ in dating isn’t really the point, anyway.”

    If you’re single, and feeling much the same way as my friend, let me invite you to view marriage a bit differently. It will take the pressure off of you to “earn” marriage and help you see prospective spouses much more clearly.

    Let’s break this down:

    Why Marriage Isn’t the Finish Line

    There are many beautiful reasons that God created the gift of marriage.

    Support and partnership: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18

    Companionship: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor… Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” Ecclesiastes 4:9

    Enjoyment and intimacy: “Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19

    There are, of course, many more. (Here is a great article on this topic where I got these ideas!)

    Ultimately, God uses marriage to continually refine our characters to be more like Jesus to help get us to heaven. It is his will that all of his children will come to repentance in order to be with him (2 Peter 3:9). And if you’ve been a Christian for any period, you understand the fight to stay repentant!

    So, one of the ways that God keeps us in his fold is through marriage. We see this in Ephesians 5:25-27: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

    Marriage helps to make us holy. And that, fortunately, or unfortunately, does not happen the second we get married!

    Related: Why Did God Create Marriage in the First Place?

    Your Wedding Day Is Just the Beginning

    Every aspect of a thriving, healthy, godly marriage takes time. No matter how much you prepare for marriage in premarital counseling or otherwise, you don’t say “I do” as a perfect human being. Marriage is a long, refining process.

    About this refinement, John Eldredge has this to say in his and his wife’s book, Love and War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed Of, “We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our ‘style,’ our ‘way,’ our ‘approach to life.’ We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It’s called marriage.”

    Marriage is a relationship where all your ugly character flaws are seen in full display. Where someone is finally around you long enough to notice that your ‘personality quirk’ is actually just selfishness, and it’s also where you have someone to share your daily victories with and who can point out how much you’ve grown, even when you can’t see it yourself!

    The point is that marriage is a process with one end goal in mind: Partnering with each other to live godly lives here and eternal lives in heaven.

    It would be such a shame if the wedding day was it, and all growth stopped after the cake was cut. If you had to look at your spouse and say, “Now what…?” But thankfully, God has the perfect plan.

    I explained to my friend that marriage is like a boat you both are paddling on, trying to get to the other shore. Yes, talking, dating, and courting brought you to the shore where you start this journey–but there’s still a lot of water between where you are and your final destination, where you’re both in heaven. The question is, are they a good rowing partner? Do you want them in that boat with you? Are they going to make getting to the other shore easier or harder?

    That, I think, is much more the purpose of dating. Not to succeed in your relationship so you can get married as the end goal–but that you feel confident enough with someone to start the journey towards heaven with them.

    What Should You Look for in a “Rowing” Partner?

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/g-stockstudio

    There are 1,000 different good things you could look for in a partner, but here is a good starting point and questions to ask yourself:

    God is at the center: Do you bring out the best in each other spiritually? Do you point each other to rely on God and not just each other? Do they teach you things about God explicitly and/or through how lovingly they treat you?

    You have lots of fun: Are you excited to see them? Do they make the mundane things in life feel more fun? Do you laugh or smile more when you are with them? Do they make the heavy things in life feel lighter?

    You trust their character: Do they genuinely apologize when they hurt you? Have you seen consistent growth in their character? Are they committed to improving their spiritual lives? Do they respect your boundaries?

    Communication is healthy: Do they listen to you without getting defensive, or apologize when they do get defensive? Do they consider you in what they do? Are you able to thoroughly work through conflict without resentment, even if you need outside help? Do they calm you when you discuss things, or do they make you feel more stressed?

    You’re good at partnering: Do you work together well when you have a common project? Do you respect each other’s opinions? Do you complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses? Do you see a future together where you’re both building toward something meaningful and Spirit-led?

    Each one of these aspects is crucial to not just getting to the other shore but enjoying life while you get there.

    Marriage is a wonderful, wonderful gift. But it is by no means the end goal. If it were, what would we need God for?

    Marriage shows us how much we need God to love us as unconditionally as he does. So before you hop into a boat with someone just because they make you feel good or will look good in your wedding pictures, consider how the rest of the journey will go. 

    And–likewise–if you’re standing at the shore with someone, but feel really confident in all of the above areas, pray to discern if God is looking at you, thinking, “What are they waiting for?” You don’t have to be perfect to get married or have to earn it.

    But remember, no matter if you get married or remain single, God is with you every step of the way to heaven.

    Photo credit: ©Unsplash/Pablo Heimplatz

    Kelly-Jayne McGlynn is a former editor at Crosswalk.com. She sees the act of expression, whether through writing or art, as a way to co-create with God and experience him deeper. Check out her handmade earring Instagram and Etsy for more of her thoughts on connecting with God through creative endeavors.

    [ad_2]

    Kelly-Jayne McGlynn

    Source link

  • 10 Behaviors That Can Lead to Domestic Violence

    10 Behaviors That Can Lead to Domestic Violence

    [ad_1]

    There have been disagreements, there has been name-calling. There have been times when things got broken, and even a time when someone got pushed into a wall. Tears and apologies followed, and things seemed better.

    But then there was a time when a threat was made. One party cringed as they heard the words they never thought they would hear. Then, one night when the kids were asleep, he put a knife to her throat. And oh, do I wish I could tell you it wasn’t true, but it was. She told me this herself.

    Please, I implore you. If you are in a relationship and you are seeing behaviors that are listed here, please get help. If you love someone, you want to help them. If you let destructive behaviors continue, you are not loving them. Don’t let fear stop you from doing what’s right.

    The woman I referred to? She was my sister, and I no longer have her because she waited too long to share what was happening.

    Please don’t let her story become yours. 

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Marjan Apostolovic

    Anne Peterson is a poet, speaker and the author of 14 published books. Her memoir, Broken: A story of abuse and survival. You can also receive her free eBook Real Love or check out her website here.

    [ad_2]

    Anne Peterson

    Source link

  • 4 Ways Pornography Damages a Marriage

    4 Ways Pornography Damages a Marriage

    [ad_1]

    Marriage is a sacred covenant created by God. He created men and women to be committed in their marriage until death do they part. This is not something to be taken lightly. We must be intentional daily to create a thriving marriage that glorifies God.

    Being a committed spouse means that we don’t allow our hearts, minds, or bodies to venture outside of the covenant that we have made.

    The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4 that marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

    Unfortunately, these laws are disregarded at every turn in our current culture. The world wants us to believe we can create our truth about marriage. But God created marriage laws to protect us. He desires for us to have thriving, committed marriages that reflect Him, which means fidelity and solid commitment to each other.

    Being in a committed marriage is becoming more and more difficult with the amount of pornography that is on display in multiple aspects. Billboards, movies, TV shows, magazines, and of course, the internet. The enemy is having a hay day with the number of inappropriate images infiltrating our minds.

    This can make it especially difficult to avoid the draw of pornography addiction. It is presented as normal and innocent when in reality, it is destroying lives and destroying families.

    Pornography addiction is an epidemic in our country. The damaging effects on marriages are devastating and harmful.

    Here are 4 ways that pornography damages a marriage:

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

    [ad_2]

    Heidi Vegh

    Source link

  • 10 Fight Tips That Actually Help Marriages Thrive

    10 Fight Tips That Actually Help Marriages Thrive

    [ad_1]

    Fighting is intrinsic and self-taught. Fighting well, in a way that protects and builds our marriage, however, isn’t. And few of us have positive role models in this area. As a result, by the time we get married, most of us have developed a lifetime of destructive behaviors. To handle conflict well, we need to unlearn harmful conflict patterns and replace them with positive behaviors, and this takes time, perhaps even decades. But the more we practice fighting well, the easier it becomes to do so.  Through prayer, determination, and intentionality, we can learn to argue in such a way that our marriage comes out stronger.  

    Jennifer Slattery is a writer and international speaker who’s addressed women’s groups, church groups, Bible studies, and other writers across the nation. She’s the author of six contemporary novels maintains a devotional blog found at http://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com. She has a passion for helping women discover, embrace, and live out who they are in Christ. As the founder of Wholly Loved Ministries, she and her team partner with churches to facilitate events designed to help women rest in their true worth and live with maximum impact. When not writing, reading, or editing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her adult daughter and coffee dates with her hilariously fun husband. 

    Photo Credit: Pexels

    [ad_2]

    Jennifer Slattery

    Source link

  • Kill Them with Kindness

    Kill Them with Kindness

    [ad_1]

    “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Proverbs 16:24 NLT).

    “Miss. Ginter is a hypocrite.” The survey form mocked me in the reflection of a glaring computer screen. 

    Despite the 140+ positive reflections of my class, I couldn’t shake that one comment: “Miss. Ginter is a hypocrite.”

    With just two days of school left for students, my heart sank. I tried so hard for one-hundred-and-eighty days to get one-hundred-and-fifteen sophomores to feel loved, valued, and seen in my class. And yet, one felt I was a hypocrite. That one took me to my knees.

    In between watching a film and passing out individual notes, I’d written for every student, I made an effort to make amends with this student. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. In fact, I spent the entire year thinking they liked me and my class. But nevertheless, I wanted an answer to such a harsh critique. 

    With the courage and confidence I had left, I asked them to chat in the hallway.

    Clarity in Conversation

    “Is this about your end-of-the-year survey?” they questioned, crossing their arms as if they needed to defend themselves.

    “It is,” I spoke calmly. Offering a gentle smile. A peace offering. Anything to make this wrong, I’d supposedly committed, right. 

    “Well, I said you’re a hypocrite because you told us you didn’t believe in giving us a lot of homework, and yet I had homework often. I’ve been so stressed out because there’s too much work to do,” their anger became visible. A scornful scoul and clenched fists erupted. 

    After a nearly ten-minute conversation and apology (on my end), I sought to understand and hear them. To know what had upset them to the point that they would call me a “hypocrite.”

    The Power of Kindness

    I tell this story not for you to think ill of this student, or to feel remorse for me, but to illustrate a point. A point that Proverbs 16:24 illustrates beautifully. 

    Just a few minutes prior to chatting with this student, I gave them their individual note. Of course, I’d written it prior to reading that they believed I was a hypocrite, so it gleamed how proud I was of them. How dedicated I saw their attendance in Bible Study, how hard they worked, and how kind their constant disposition was. Trust me when I say that placing this note of kindness on their desk felt like pouring salt on an open wound. 

    But you know what? I would do it all over again.

    While I do not feel that I intentionally did this student wrong, nor do I feel they were accurate or honest in calling me a hypocrite, I can honestly say it’s probably a moment in my life that I will never forget. 

    Do You Care Enough?

    Although I often don’t care what other people think of me (in the sense of acknowledging that not everyone will like me, and that’s okay), I do care that the kids I teach see Christ in me (yes, I work in a public school, and yes, I still make it known). In fact, at the beginning and end of every school year, I directly state that I care more about each of them as individuals than I do about them as students in my class. And I genuinely mean that.

    Obviously, every teacher wants her students to succeed. If every student in my English class had an “A,” I’m sure the administration would be thrilled. So would I. But beyond academics, the life of a student is a life I have the opportunity to change. And more so, Christ can change them through me. 

    Many of you reading this post aren’t teachers. But I guarantee that you can relate in some way. Young adults are the next step of a new generation, and you better believe I will do anything I can (through Christ) to make them know that they are loved, chosen, safe, and cared for by Someone who died to know them.

    The Reward of Kindness

    About an hour after this difficult conversation with the student who called me a hypocrite, I felt better. Although I don’t think their view of me changed, I made it known that I was deeply sorry for hurting them and did indeed care about them and their future. And in a bittersweet turn of events, I received the following note in my inbox from a different student:

    “Miss. Ginter, I can truthfully say that I am so glad that I had you as my English teacher this year. In general, you can tell you’re a really good person, trustworthy, kind, and truly the best teacher any student could ask for. To be honest, I’m not really the best Christian; I’m not one at all. I used to be and I’m trying to get back to it. I can thank you for that. From the very beginning of the school year you told us you were a Christian and you can see that. You’re so alive in a way, more than I have seen anyone in a very long time. So I’ve started going to Church. I wanted to say thank you. I will never forget you.”

    *This note has been modified to protect the identity and privacy of my students.

    I held back tears. 

    “Thank you, God,” was all that could escape my lips. 

    It’s been a week since I read those two notes, but my heart still feels the same. I’m blessed and honored to teach the student who called me a hypocrite, and I’m blessed and honored to teach the one who said they’d never forget me. Both are young adults that walked into my classroom nearly a year ago, not knowing what the world would hold, and both are ones I still wish the greatest success as they grow and mature. 

    If I’ve learned anything in my four years of teaching, it would be this: 

    Teenagers won’t remember the stunning outfits you poised together every single day. 

    They will remember the days you came to class sick or you accidentally caught a book on fire and had to tell the principal. 

    Teenagers won’t remember the regulated assessments you were forced to give to measure high-quality student data or prepare them for the state test. 

    But they will remember the humor you used in making fun of yourself in preparing them along the way. 

    Teenagers won’t remember all the grammar, books, or vocabulary words you made them memorize, even as interesting or fun as you tried to make them.

    But teenagers will always remember the time you took out of your day to listen to them, whether it was for five seconds or five minutes. They will always remember the laughs you shared, the kindness you offered, and the love you endlessly gave, regardless of if they liked you or your class or not. 

    And why? Because any kindness, love, or laughter you’ve given them has come from the Source of life, love, and gratitude within you. We’re only able to give what we’ve already been given, so why would we hold back those immeasurable gifts?

    There have been times in my years of teaching that I’ve questioned a lot of things. I still want to write full-time, so spending all my energy teaching is exhausting most days. But while I’m in this season, I’m reminded of God and His faithfulness to me:

    In the gentle smiles. 

    In the shared laughs.

    In the small talk.

    In serious conversations.

    And even in the turds.

    Especially the turds who like to cause havoc on already challenging days. 

    Why? Because Christ died for me while I was still a sinner. And that means He died for each of these children too (most of whom probably don’t know Him). 

    So while I’m teaching, I will die to myself. I will die to the comments that are kind but also the ones that aren’t. Jesus “killed” His enemies with kindness, not out of spite, vengeance, or to grab the upper hand, but so they may someday partake in a relationship with Him. Why shouldn’t I be willing to do the same?

    Agape, Amber 

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Metkalova

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    [ad_2]

    Amber Ginter

    Source link

  • 7 Lessons My Dad Taught Me about Living Generously

    7 Lessons My Dad Taught Me about Living Generously

    [ad_1]

    After my Dad passed away, I learned more about his generous heart. Although I experienced his generosity towards me growing up, it wasn’t until later in life I discovered more about his giving heart toward others. Dad followed Matthew 6:3-4: 

    He practiced his openhanded acts of kindness quietly. So when I say discovered, it was because he didn’t tell me or do it openly in a way for all to see or know, not even his immediate family. Instead, quietly and respectfully, behind the scenes, he gave in a way that uplifted, encouraged, and guarded the hearts of those he assisted. My Dad’s giving heart taught me about my heavenly Father’s generous heart. Growing up, I knew I could ask him for anything, and it taught me to understand I could ask God for anything, too. As John 14:14 explains, “You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.”

    Likewise, I didn’t ever have to be concerned my earthly Dad would give me anything but something wonderful, which taught me the same about my heavenly Father. “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?”  (Luke 11:11) The following are seven lessons my Dad’s tender-hearted giving taught me about living generously.

    1. Be respectfully generous.

    On the way to my future sister-in-law’s bridal shower, my parents and I found ourselves lost on the seedy side of Chicago on a dark, cold wintry evening. Yet, even in that situation, I witnessed my Dad treat a drunken man on the street with the utmost respect as he called him over to the car to ask for directions. 

    As a teenager, I questioned my Dad’s wisdom, praying silently in the backseat for God’s protection over us. However, the respectful way he spoke to that man made a long-lasting impression on me. My Dad showed respect towards others based on God’s love for them rather than society’s view of what they deserve. 1 Peter 2:17 reminds us, “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.”

    2. Be generous in helpfulness. 

    Even though I don’t know all the ways my Dad reached out to help others in very practical and impactful ways, I do know of a few. He once supplemented a young mother of eight’s income after her husband, who worked for my Dad, left her and their kids for another woman. He went the extra mile in his position as a hospital administrator, hiring a newly married young couple struggling to find jobs to work in housekeeping so that they could start their life together. Finally, he helped a young man having an awkward time moving into his place to live, providing him with an excellent job and benefits. My Dad didn’t just talk the talk; he walked the walk, helping others when it was in his ability to do so. He lived out what Hebrew 13:16 encourages, 

    “And to not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” 

    3. Be quietly generous. 

    My Dad bought groceries for those who had little, took people out to eat, gave away cars, and more things I probably haven’t heard about yet. He was quietly generous, and my discoveries about his giving came from others who told me how he had helped them. Dad lived out 2 Corinthians 9:11-12: “You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us, your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.”

    4. Be mercifully generous. 

    Dad didn’t seem to give based on whether or not individuals seemed deserving of receiving it. Instead, he gave when he saw a need, realizing God offers salvation to the undeserving, which is all of us. Romans 5:2 discusses how, because of our faith, Christ has brought us into a place of undeserved privilege where we now stand and confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. As James 2:13 reminds us, with God, mercy triumphs over judgment.

    5. Be generous in serving. 

    God goes out of His way to help the broken, the weary, and the downcast. He helps those who can’t help themselves because of physical or emotional limitations. Even though people may look down on those who are weak, God is compassionate toward them. Isaiah 40:26 explains, 

    “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

    My Dad’s heart expressed this compassion towards others. He understood and modeled God this way to those who needed help, consciously assisting people who others might say could have helped themselves. People sometimes don’t know how to be on their own, but with the loving support of others, uplifting and encouraging them, they can learn how to walk through the process. Dad seemed to understand and follow God’s example, as in Jeremiah 31:25, “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” 

    6. Be generous in loving others. 

    Most of all, my Dad loved people out of the love he received from his heavenly Father. Growing up under a harsh earthly father, he didn’t learn to love through him but through God’s love for him. 1 John 4:19 describes how this happens, “We love because He first loved us.” 

    Dad didn’t underestimate the influence God gives us. Through loving others, we can lead individuals to reconciliation with Him. 2 Corinthians 5:20 reminds us, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” My Dad chose to love others; it was a joy and privilege for him to do so, not a burden. He lovingly practiced Romans 13:8, “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”

    7. Be generously compassionate. My Dad helped people who didn’t have anything to offer him in return. They were primarily individuals seeking to begin, start over, struggle through, or finish up in life. He taught me to make sure my heart is right when doing things for others, not expecting something in return but doing it unto the Lord. He lived out, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17). Dad demonstrated God’s heart, as described in Luke 14:13, “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/FredFroese

    Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.

    [ad_2]

    Lynette Kittle

    Source link

  • 5 Ways to Love Your Pregnant Wife

    5 Ways to Love Your Pregnant Wife

    [ad_1]

    My husband and I waited nearly a decade for the Lord to bless us with a child. It was a long wait and a total surprise! No matter how much a baby has been prayed for or wanted, there’s no way around the profound ways pregnancy and having a baby change the marriage relationship! Many of the changes are wonderful! Some of those changes are wonderful but sort of like a refining furnace for your relationship.

    As you prepare for a new member to join your family, here are five ways you can love your wife during this time in her life.

    1. Commit Time to Daily Prayer for Your Family

    “Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife.” Genesis 25:21

    As the spiritual leader of the household, the husband has a unique role that no one else can fill. Scripture says that a husband has a spiritual place of covering over his wife and family (1 Corinthians 11:3), so your prayers for your family are uniquely irreplaceable. Especially as you and your wife enter this transitional time, making sure you have a daily habit of prayer for your family is even more vital.

    2. Pursue and Express Understanding Toward Your Wife

    When I was pregnant with our son, I had some complications that affected delivery and the early months of our son’s life. Those complications were stressful. We can plop Bible verses on top of a lot of our tensions. And while they are still valid for a pregnant or new momma, there is a deeper sense of responsibility to these kinds of burdens than any other. For some pregnant mamas, the stress of trying to “hang on” to a difficult pregnancy, keep food or liquids down when their stomach revolts, or manage blood sugar that spikes and dips beyond any logic, and all the other many ways our bodies rebel against us during pregnancy, can really test the sanity.

    Moms frequently feel responsible for everything that happens to their baby while pregnant. Yet, with the complexity of hormones, women are often even less in control of how their system responds to things than when they aren’t pregnant. It’s a rotten, traitorous thing of our bodies to let down the team when we need our bodies to behave the most! But it is a reality of some pregnancies, and for the moms who have that experience, a lot of understanding is necessary!

    “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

    I have never claimed this verse as a favorite. But with early motherhood, I felt like as much as I didn’t love this verse enough to hang it on my wall, I had a brush of experience with it like never before. Some pregnancy complications and the months of caretaking a baby with health issues consumed all my strength, and I wasn’t the same partner I was before having a baby. I needed understanding and grace more than ever in our relationship. I loathed needing more support and help and despised that sensation of being vulnerable. But here was the Bible telling both of us that God designed husbands to be special vessels of understanding for their wives – even their stubborn, strong, I-can-do-everything-myself-wives that never want to need help.

    Pray for God to open your eyes to understand your wife’s changing needs and for insight on how to express understanding, love, and support to her.

    3. Be Filled Up with God’s Word

    “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Ephesians 5:25-26

    This verse is covered in the next point also, but first, to be a loving, sacrificial husband, you need the power of the Word vibrant and active in your heart. It will give you the capacity to wash love and grace over your family. It will anchor you in your calling as a husband and anchor your family.

    As you and your wife prepare for a new family member, there isn’t a better time to pursue a habit of being daily renewed in Scripture.

    4. Love Your Wife Sacrificially

    “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Ephesians 5:25-26

    While Christians are called to sacrificially love and bear with everyone, husbands are given a special call to sacrifice for their wives. While your wife is pregnant and in those early baby days, this will take on new meaning. Ask the Lord for insight on how to best sacrificially love your wife.

    When I was pregnant, we learned how husbands could best take care of their wives after delivery in our birthing class. I was the absolute flip-flop opposite of what the experts said I would be! I think this is where Christians have a special gift! We have the help of the Holy Spirit through the seasons when even the “experts” don’t have it right. That is a huge comfort!

    So, lean into the Lord, His guidance, and His Word to know just how to love your wife during this challenging season. Use the wisdom of “experts” in the field, but also listen diligently to your wife and the Holy Spirit to love her in the most effective ways based on her needs during this season.

    5. Plan for Change

    “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage…” Proverbs 21:5

    My husband and I had been married for almost a decade when the Lord blessed us with our son; in other words, we were long established in our no-kid rhythm of life. We both served in vocational church ministry, and I had a side hustle business and a parachurch ministry. We worked a ton. When we relaxed pre-baby life, it was usually going on hiking and photography adventures. When our son was born, he cried and was unable to sleep for the first three years of his life (and yes, we got medical attention – we just had the not-so-awesome fortune of going through tons of doctors before we found one that was able to help!). It’s not quite the same blowing-off-steam experience to camp with a screaming baby or hike with a crying little one on your back. We didn’t have the support circle to have date nights, and no one else could really handle his crying even if we’d had a support circle to go on date nights. I didn’t have anyone to spell me to gather my brain to make business decisions while I tended a baby with health issues. So life changed for us a lot more than we imagined it would because our situation was so different from the other parents around us. Not everyone’s life changes quite so much when they have a baby. But being prepared for significant changes and making space for those changes can bless your relationship.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Motortion

    Consider praying and talking through these three areas that will need room for changes:

    How you connect as a couple: Think through practical ways to express your heart to one another in five or ten-minute “stolen” moments. You might have those lovely weekly date nights, but you might be the couple that doesn’t get those stretches of time to reconnect. What are five ways you can express to your spouse that you love them and desire connection with them when time together is in short supply?

    How you unwind as a couple: Stress relief seems to get more critical and simultaneously more elusive when you have a new baby on the scene. Do you know two or three ways you can help your spouse destress? Do you know two or three ways you as a couple can destress together?

    How you pursue God together as a couple: Lastly, but most importantly, make plans to seek God together! Some couples have a sense of how they pursue God together before they have a baby. For others, this is a great transition time to implement the habits of seeking God together. Whether you have already established a path to connect with God as a couple or are pursuing it now, as parents, you are going to need and want the Lord’s wisdom and help more than ever! So begin praying and thinking about how to best connect with God as a couple and ask the Lord to help navigate your family’s changes while faithfully pursuing Him. My poor husband would often read the Bible to us, and I would fall asleep on him because I was so exhausted! This made all of us feel pretty bad! Be mentally prepared to possibly switch up the times and ways you seek the Lord as a couple and family.

    Congratulations on all the joy and adventure that awaits your growing family! May God’s best blessings surround your family!

    “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

    The fruit of the womb is a reward.

    Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

    So are the children of one’s youth.

    How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

    April Motl is a pastor’s wife, homeschool mom, and women’s ministry director. When she’s not waist-deep in the joys and jobs of motherhood, being a wife, and serving at church, she writes and teaches for women. You can find more encouraging resources from April here and here. 

    [ad_2]

    April Motl

    Source link

  • 6 Prayers for a Broken Marriage

    6 Prayers for a Broken Marriage

    [ad_1]

    Marriage is the ultimate covenant between two people. When two people are joined in marriage, they vow to love, honor, and cherish each other through the best and worst of circumstances for the rest of their lives.

    Not only is marriage God’s plan for his people but also marriages are to reflect the love of Christ and the church. Marriage is also the place where people see us at our worst. When we have unprocessed trauma and pain in our lives, the person we take it out on the most is our spouses.

    This can cause our marriage to break down, and both parties stop thinking about each other and start focusing on themselves. The unmet needs and desires they have in marriage, which are not met, result in partners being angry and sometimes bitter.

    But there’s still hope. When two people ask God for his help and obey his commands, even the most broken marriage can be mended.

    As Christians, it is more important than ever to be praying for people’s marriages, especially for those who are going through a difficult season.

    Here are six prayers for a broken marriage:

    1. Father, Heal Us

    One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is that both parties work on healing anything that hinders their emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Any emotional wounds that someone has can infect both the person’s abundant life and also the people around them.

    It is difficult to be around two people who are constantly fighting or, worse, assassinating each other ‘s character. To combat this problem, spend some time alone with God. Ask him to show you any areas of your life where you are not healed.

    If unhealed trauma results, and you need to forgive someone, forgive them. If brokenness means you’re in conflict with someone, do your best to settle the conflict. Nip conflict in the bud as soon as possible.

    Ask God to keep healing old wounds until they’re completely healed. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

    2. Father, Speak to Us

    Many marriages are broken because they don’t hear from God regularly. When a person becomes a Christian, they yield their lives to God. This means they allow him to direct their steps when it comes to their future spouse, their career, and everything in between.

    God’s will is not for divorce but rather wholeness and healing. Although we should not look to our spouses to fill our lives with happiness, God does want us to work together in marriage to exemplify his joy in our lives.

    After asking him to heal old wounds, ask him if there’s anything specific, he wants to tell you. The holy spirit dwelling within you wants to speak to us. He yearns to be in fellowship with us. This includes him telling us things that are for our education, comfort, and encouragement.

    3. Father, Forgive Us

    It is easy in a marriage to place blame on the other. Adam blamed Eve after they fell victim to the serpent’s evil ways. Since the beginning of time, people have wanted to place blame and make things someone else’s fault.

    Yet, when we analyze our relationships, we often find we are just as guilty as the other party. Take the time to forgive your spouse for whatever they’ve done. This may take months or even years.

    That’s okay. Forgiveness is a process; people often want to skip the process because it’s hard work. Forgiveness is hard; so was Jesus’ death on the cross. He died for us to live a life of freedom. That is the impetus to forgive our spouses.

    Additionally, sometimes the person we can’t forgive is ourselves. Despite the reality that Jesus’ blood covers all our sins, we often want to hold on to our grievous behavior as a spiritual penance so that we can earn God’s forgiveness.

    But God’s forgiveness came when Jesus died on the cross. We can live in freedom and ask God to forgive us, knowing that he is just and will forgive all our sins, even the ones we think are too horrible for God.

    4. Father, Help Us Reflect You

    Both partners in a marriage mirror the love of Christ for the church. Each person reflects Jesus. The best way we demonstrate our adoration for God is if we honor the marriage covenant. It is difficult to mirror Christ in a relationship where unmet expectations and trauma abound.

    This is especially true if there is emotional or mental abuse within the relationship. The best thing we can do is seek help from professionals who can help us work through our issues so we can be the best spouse we can be.

    5. Father, Give Us Peace

    Scripture says, “As long as it stands with you, a little peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Although reconciliation may not be possible in every relationship, we should both strive to make sure that happens.

    Peace may not be possible in every situation, but peace is what gives us the freedom to live a life secure in our identity as God’s child.

    Peace is not necessarily just the absence of fear, but rather it is the contentment of knowing that Christ is in control of each situation and he wants what’s best for his children.

    Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

    Sometimes God’s will is beyond our comprehension. But it is not our job to figure out what God’s will is. Our job is to simply trust him and know he will act on our behalf.

    We can take comfort knowing God is in control and that we don’t have to figure out every situation to rather just yield to him.

    6. Father, Help Us to Love as You Love Us

    God loves us unconditionally. But we love others with conditions. Jesus sees people through the lens of sinners in need of a savior. He came to show all the world would have hope in him.

    As humans, however, we place expectations on people, and when they hurt us, we are apt to cut them off or spend no time with them.

    We see people through the lens of our past pain and feel the spirit, but God, who’s forgiven all sins, has already paid the penalty for our sins. He lives in the security of knowing that the wages of sin is death, but Jesus paid that debt in full.

    If we could learn to be more like Jesus, we would see people through the lens of love and forgiveness. When we believe we are fully loved, fully forgiven, and that God loves us no matter what, we are more apt to see others in the same light.

    This helps us more easily forgive people and love them just as Christ loves us. In our own humanity, however, that can be difficult. We must anchor our lives to Scripture and live as people fully loved. When we can do that, we can forgive and love others the same way.

    If you are having difficulty in your marriage, reach out to a friend, pastor, or other leader who can help you sort out the issue. Make sure it is not someone we’ll see things with bias but rather someone who can look at it objectively.

    Take their advice and do the hard work it takes to turn your marriage around. There is no sin that has not been covered fully by Christ, including your marriage. Let God be your guide, and allow him to transform both you and your spouse from the inside out.

    For further reading:

    a-troubled-marriage.html”>Prayer for a Troubled Marriage

    51 Marriage Prayers and Prompts to Pray Over Your Relationship

    How Can Believing in Soulmates Ultimately Ruin Your Marriage?

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Prostock-Studio

    Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.

    This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit

    Christianity.com. Christianity.com

    [ad_2]

    Michelle S. Lazurek

    Source link

  • How Can We Model the Love of Christ through Good Listening?

    How Can We Model the Love of Christ through Good Listening?

    [ad_1]

    For some people, listening comes naturally as their personality is to be less verbal. Others may feel they have nothing to offer in a conversation, so they listen more than they speak. After all, God did give us two ears and only one mouth!

    Whether we are quiet in nature or a person who is uncomfortable in silence and feels they must fill every space with words, learning to really listen to others is hard work. For a Christ-follower, however, it’s vital to our mission as God’s ambassadors and ministers of reconciliation.

    2 Corinthians 5:18-20 – “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”

    The way we listen can either draw people toward God or push them away. Even in our attempts to tell others about Jesus, we can talk too much in the uncomfortableness of a gospel presentation. Are we focused on downloading information and our beliefs without stopping to listen to the questions people are asking? Good listening skills can help us slow down and reduce our anxiety to win a convert. Instead of talking constantly, we need to hear what the other person is sharing about their own hearts and where they are in their spiritual journey, trusting Jesus’ promise that the Holy Spirit will give us the right words at the right time.

    Listening well tells others they are valuable to us, and illustrates they are valuable to God. Just as God patiently listens to our prayers with His heart of compassion, we must learn to listen with more than our ears. Let us humble ourselves to close our mouths often, and when we do open them, make sure we speak timely words that produce life, hope, and peace in the hearts of the listener.

    Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Tinnakorn Jorruang

    [ad_2]

    Sheila Alewine

    Source link