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[ad_1] ROCHESTER HILLS, MI—Peering out her kitchen window with concern after noticing the pedestrian across the street, suspicious resident Barbara Hill reportedly told her husband Tuesday...
[ad_1] Walmart has made adjustments to its pay scale, lowering the starting hourly wages for some jobs such as shelf stockers and those who pack online...
[ad_1] With the ailment blamed for many of the problems in the country, The Onion asked Americans what it is like to live with the Woke...
[ad_1] Mexico’s Supreme Court has thrown out all federal criminal penalties for abortion, ruling that national laws prohibiting the procedure violate women’s rights in a sweeping...
[ad_1] WASHINGTON—Touting the renovation as a long-overdue effort to bring the U.S. government’s command and control hub into the 21st century, the White House announced Friday...
[ad_1] LOS ANGELES—Spitting into their palms to cement the deal, Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas reportedly made a tree-house pact Friday to divorce their mean wives...
[ad_1] WASHINGTON—Cracking down on the common but unethical practice seemingly rampant in department stores, the Federal Trade Commission began issuing fines this week for any sassy...
[ad_1] SAN JOSE, CA—As part of an effort to nurture and raise its young, a self-driving Tesla regurgitated a pedestrian carcass to feed its offspring, sources...
[ad_1] TULSA, OK—Observing that he had taken time to reflect and grieve, friends of local man John Tellez were encouraging the widower to get back out...
[ad_1] POINT: To My Constituents, My Health…America…Purple…Bees Mitch McConnell My fellow Americans, let me say once and for all that my health should be of no...
[ad_1] WASHINGTON—Offering insight into what’s currently happening in the field of science, the American Association for the Advancement of Science released a statement Monday confirming that...
[ad_1] NEW YORK—In the wake of mounting legal troubles, including an indictment in Georgia on felony charges of tampering with the 2020 election, sources reported Friday...
[ad_1] A Capitol physician has reportedly cleared Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell to continue his schedule after he experienced an episode where he was unable to...
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[ad_1] CINCINNATI—Admitting that he had an avoidant personality that often left him closed off to new possibilities, local man Stanley Fox reportedly stepped out of his...
[ad_1] After a second incident in which the Kentucky senator froze up during a press conference, The Onion asked Americans to explain why Mitch McConnell should...
[ad_1] The Biden administration released its list of the first 10 drugs that Medicare will negotiate for price cuts with drugmakers, including some of the most...
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[ad_1] With the significant increase in deadly hurricanes, wildfires, droughts, heat waves, and floods, The Onion asked Americans how they would like to die in the...
[ad_1] Former president Donald Trump was booked at Fulton County Jail and was listed at a 6’3″ and a dubious 215 pounds. The Onion asked Americans...