ROCHESTER HILLS, MI—Peering out her kitchen window with concern after noticing the pedestrian across the street, suspicious resident Barbara Hill reportedly told her husband Tuesday that she didn’t recall ever seeing that Black man on this planet before. “Hon, I don’t want to be overly nosy, but I just don’t remember bumping into that guy in our part of the solar system before,” said Hill, stressing that while it was possible the Black man had just gotten lost and entered the Earth’s atmosphere by mistake, he seemed out of place on the terrestrial surface. “Should I lock the doors just to be safe? Am I being crazy? Something about him really doesn’t seem like it’s from this part of the galaxy. Even if he is from this planet—and I hate to say this—someone out of place like him could really bring down the planetary value.” At press time, the woman had placed a precautionary call to NASA just to tell them about the Black man and ask if they could launch him into space.

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