If you were online this week, and especially if you’re a Detroit Lions fan still recovering from the Philadelphia loss, you probably saw the headline floating around: “Lions…
Read more Internet Falls for Fake Story About Detroit Lions Rookie Tate RatledgeThis, Collins believes, is not only a testament to The Onion’s quality, but a referendum on Trump himself. “People do not like what’s going on, and people vote…
Read more The Onion Wants an Oscar for ‘Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile’—Coming to a Theater Near YouFormer President Donald Trump’s campaign said some internal communications have been hacked, blaming the Iranian government and citing past hostilities between Trump and Iran without providing direct evidence.…
Read more Trump Campaign Hacked By IranNEWPORT BEACH, CA—Refuting accusations of stolen valor by claiming his hands were permanently stained with the blood of his enemies, Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz told reporters…
Read more Tim Walz: ‘I Have Killed, And I Will Kill Again’Organizers have canceled three Taylor Swift concerts in Austria after authorities foiled a terror attack planned for the Vienna leg of her blockbuster Eras tour, the extraordinary decision…
Read more Taylor Swift’s Vienna Concerts Canceled In Response To Terrorist PlotThe Environmental Protection Agency issued an emergency order to stop the use of a pesticide widely used to control weeds on a variety of crops such as broccoli,…
Read more EPA Bans Weedkiller That Threatens Developing FetusesWASHINGTON—In what experts are calling the most comprehensive survey of the phenomenon to date, a new report published Wednesday by the Pew Research Center found that more than…
Read more Report: 92% Of Americans Want To Be Tossed Around Like Rag Doll By Swedish LoggerHomeLatestNewsLocalPoliticsEntertainmentSportsOpinion HomeLatestNewsLocalPoliticsEntertainmentSportsOpinion Home Latest News Local Politics Entertainment Sports Opinion AboutThe Onion Store AdvertisingPrivacyJobsTerms of Use HomeLatestNewsLocalPoliticsEntertainmentSportsOpinion News In Photos Published25 minutes ago Related Content Wealthy Child Horrified…
Read more Singer Adlibs Little Laugh At End Of Track To Signify Fun Time Was HadCharli XCX, the artist behind the album Brat and the “brat summer” phenomenon, made headlines after endorsing presidential candidate Kamala Harris. The Onion shares what you need to…
Read more Artist Profile: Charli XCXRussia, the United States, and several other countries engaged in an extraordinary 24-prisoner exchange, the largest of its kind since the Cold War and one in which President…
Read more Russia Agrees To Massive Prisoner Swap With WestFormer President Trump claimed Vice President Kamala Harris “became […] Black” during a panel at the National Association of Black Journalists’ annual convention, saying he didn’t know she…
Read more Trump Questions Kamala Harris’ RaceWith Project 2025 calling for the criminalization of porn and age-verification laws already on the books in multiple states, The Onion examines the pros and cons of banning…
Read more The Pros And Cons Of Banning PornIran’s Supreme Leader vowed to seek revenge against Israel for the killing of Hamas’ top political leader in a predawn airstrike in the Iranian capital of Tehran, risking…
Read more Iran Vows Retaliation For Hamas Chief KillingFAIRHOPE, AL—Exploiting the popular online game platform for his own perverse ends, local Roblox user Rodney McKinney, 68, was accused of grooming 56-year-old Roblox user Walter Rhodes, sources…
Read more 56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox UserWASHINGTON—Figuring a wardrobe update would play well with voters, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly rushed to Marshall’s Tuesday to buy nicer work clothes. “It’s time I finally invested…
Read more Kamala Harris Rushes To Marshall’s To Buy Nicer Work ClothesWASHINGTON—Providing long-awaited insight into the attempted assassin’s mental state, a report released Monday found that gunman Thomas Matthew Crooks googled “How to be an enigma” before trying to…
Read more Report: Trump Gunman Googled ‘How To Be An Enigma’California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) issued an executive order calling on state officials to begin taking down homeless encampments, buoyed by a recent U.S. Supreme Court decision that…
Read more Newsom Orders Removal Of Homeless EncampmentsWASHINGTON—Warning that interior defenses were spread too thin, experts confirmed this week that Team USA’s arrival in France for the Olympics had left America’s own basketball rims largely…
Read more Team USA’s Arrival In France Leaves American Basketball Rims Largely Unguarded
