From Self-Loathing to Self-Discovery: How a Late Diagnosis Changed My Life

I discovered my ADHD indirectly, thanks to my 20-year-old daughter’s TikTok. As she listed 25 symptoms of inattentive ADHD, with examples from her life, I saw myself mirrored in each one.

But I was confused. I associated ADHD with fidgety grade-school boys. Little did I know that I, an adult woman, could also be diagnosed with ADHD. My daughter’s descriptions of time and organizational overcompensation, decision paralysis, procrastination, overwhelm, and hyperfocus resonated deeply with me. When I suggested that I might have ADHD myself, she agreed.

While waiting for an evaluation and the results, I had daily epiphanies as I connected my lifetime of experiences with information about the ADHD brain. Like so many of us, I’d spent years feeling inadequate, hypersensitive, and too ashamed to say any of it out loud. How many paralyzing hours did I lie on the couch, wondering what was wrong with me? My diagnosis came in August 2022.

[eBook: Women with ADHD: How Hormones, Symptoms & Late Diagnoses Impact Females]

Six years earlier, at almost 49, I’d unknowingly set in motion a seismic journey of personal reinvention with the decision to stop drinking (10 years in the making) and enter therapy for the first time. I was finally able to follow through on both steps, even in the face of intense anxiety and self-hatred. My sobriety and therapy unleashed a flood of unresolved issues and traumas. Recovery was just the beginning of my self-discovery.

I ended my 26-year marriage and became an empty nester. My work as a commercial interior designer suddenly felt toxic. I had come to realize that there was a fundamental misalignment between my strengths, interests, and responsibilities. Near crippling self-doubt and fear of rejection had kept me tethered to my career for 28 years. Finally, my ADHD diagnosis shattered the narrative of not good enough, paving the way for self-compassion and newfound confidence and hope.

Standing at the intersection of creative expansion and personal revolution, I found a community of midlife women on similar paths and planted the seed for starting my company, Triple Moon Coaching. I enrolled in a holistic coach certification program so I could build a side practice and phase into full-time professional life coaching.

Empowered by clarity and optimism, I focused on creating my new vision. ADHD impulsivity has been a consistent thread for as long as I can remember. My resignation was bold and necessary, and a bit premature. But I was learning. No regrets.

I am on a solid path to successful entrepreneurship. It’s a joy and a privilege to coach women who are taking charge of their lives and growing into their own unique potential.

ADHD in Women: Next Steps

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