“From Bowling-Alley Bartender to Cleopatra Waitress: My Story of ADHD Job Hopping”

I am wildly creative, surprisingly good with a paintbrush, and skilled with words. I know how to make jewelry, soap, candles, and pretty paper. I know how to put together elaborate floral displays and decorate cakes. I can research like an analyst and draft essays like an academic.

I know how to make proper barista coffee, complete with foamy milk hearts, and I can pour a mean tap beer. I can change brake pads on Volvos, paint houses perfectly, as well as clean them like I have OCD. (I can totally say that because I do have OCD.) I have some fun unpolished vocals recorded on a retro pop album floating around cyberspace along with some long forgotten “crazy cat lady” improv clips with five views total (probably all due to me).

I am good at a lot of things, but, by the world’s standards of success, I am a failure. And a big one at that.

No five-year plan here. (Time blindness will do that to you.) I have no idea what I am doing in the next five minutes, let alone in the next five years. And I certainly have not been commended in any field or selected as employee of the month. Let’s just say that if holding the record for shortest time employed were a thing, then my 15-minute stint as a bartender at a bowling alley would win the title.

I have studied acting but I am not an actor. I am a qualified English teacher, but I do not teach. I write poetry, but few read my work. I sometimes author stories or articles, which some people read, for which I’m eternally grateful. People often see how capable and organized I can be and think I must slay at life, but often, life slays me. This is the nature of the brain beast that is ADHD.

Where Is My Mind?

One of the many bosses I have had over my multi-faceted career once said of my job performance, “When you’re on, you’re brilliant, creative, unstoppable. But when you’re off, it’s hard to remember how good you are.”

[Get This Free Download: What to Ask Yourself to Find the Perfect Job]

Harsh, but fair. This was the story of my life — bosses wondering if I was intentionally not doing what they said, why I did things the complete opposite way I had been shown, or if I really was just that confused and forgetful. Most did not have the time or resources to spare on figuring me out, so I would end up fired over and over.

Some bosses asked where my mind went during meetings. Others would scratch their heads, puzzled that I’d be on fire one day, and frazzled, late, and disoriented the next. (It wasn’t uncommon for me to forget my lunch or even the name of the store where I worked.)

Once I even walked into the wrong workplace to clock in. I had previously worked in a jewelry store a few doors down from my new workplace, a skincare store. Easy mistake to make, right?

And don’t get me started on my wonderful, spontaneous, but often inappropriate workplace banter. Time and time again, I would blurt out a thought that would offend others – for its tone, timing, or crudeness. Sometimes, though, people would laugh or even join in with my shenanigans.

[Read: “Did I Overshare by Telling My New Co-Workers That I Habitually Overshare?”]

When I think I am being honest or funny, most people think I am being rude. When I am good at something, I do not know how to pace myself or set boundaries, so I burn out quickly and become incredibly bad at the thing I was good at. When I witness injustice, I am compelled to speak up (thanks, RSD and justice sensitivity), which has seen me in all kinds of deep water in the workplace.

Jack of All Trades, Master of Some

I have had some interesting jobs. I remember riding my motorbike to a fancy mansion dressed as Cleopatra when I worked for a catering company that specialized in themed events. I’ve worked in delis, clothing boutiques, florist shops, fast food joints, call centers, hardware stores, and markets. I’ve worked in education, childcare, and cleaning services. I’ve designed logos, posters, and t-shirts. I’ve directed musicals, weeded gardens, washed cars, and mowed lawns.

I did all this unmedicated, so I want to congratulate myself on making it through. After my ADHD diagnosis at age 38, I went on medication and saw significant changes in my time management, organization, memory retention, and emotional regulation skills. Today, I am finally doing something that I am good at and really enjoy. (Not to brag, but I am kind of my boss’s favorite.) I am kicking ass at the most important job I’ve ever had: being a mama.

My neurodivergent brain makes everything a lot harder, but I have accepted that I’ll just have to work with it and learn on the job. I try to see mistakes as opportunities to improve. I am not perfect at anything because that is the stuff of mythology. But I am brilliant at many things, and I aim for good enough where I can. I have learned not to overthink opinions about my performance on any job, sometimes not even my own. I am a lifelong work in progress – I have my work cut out for me, and if life has taught me anything, it is that I can do hard things.

ADHD and Job Hopping: Next Steps

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