Tag: anxiety

The following is a personal essay that reflects the opinion of its author.

December 10, 2025

As a director of disability services in higher education, I am deeply troubled by the framing and assumptions of such services in “Accommodation Nation” an article recently in The Atlantic that positions college accommodations as a burden, casts suspicion on students with disabilities, and erodes decades of progress made by disability advocates who have fought for equal access to education.

Accommodations Are Not “Easily Gamed”

It’s true that the number of students seeking accommodations has risen over the years as rates of diagnosed ADHD, anxiety, and other conditions have increased. But this is because diagnostic tools have improved dramatically, leading to increased identification. Increased identification is not a sign of manipulation, as The Atlantic article insinuates. It is the result of better science and long-overdue recognition.

Yet articles like “Accommodation Nation” use these realities to cast doubt on students’ lived experiences. At my institution, students must go through multiple steps before accommodations are considered. They complete a detailed online application, provide documentation from licensed professionals that identify which major life activities are impacted by their condition(s), and outline specific functional limitations. I regularly follow up with providers to better understand the applicant’s diagnosis. Then I meet with the student to explore their needs, discuss barriers, and determine appropriate accommodations.

Free Guide: How to Get Accommodations in College

This is not a casual or “easily gamed” process, as The Atlantic suggests. It is a careful, legally grounded, individualized assessment rooted in education, awareness, and advocacy.

The Right to Education, Not Exploitation

What concerns me most about The Atlantic article is how it reinforces the false narrative that students with disabilities are inflating their needs or receiving unearned advantages. Disability services offices are not handing out “perks.” Rather, we are ensuring that students can access the same educational opportunities as their peers. That is the foundation of civil rights laws.

The disability rights movement began in the 1960s and, before that, many individuals with disabilities were banned from education altogether. Today, that access to education translates to employment, independence, and contributions back to society. Undermining accommodations threatens to send us backward at a moment when the Department of Education itself is being dismantled and national conversations around mental health, ADHD, and neurodivergence are already steeped in stigma.

Students with disabilities are not a burden. They are welcome at the table of higher education.

Read: 4 Hallmarks of ADHD-Supportive Colleges

Accessibility Is Not a Loophole

One in four Americans lives with a disability. At my small college, roughly 25% of students are registered with disability services; I suspect there are another 10% who would qualify, but choose not to come forward because of stigma. Smaller schools often attract students seeking supportive, high-touch environments, and many students come to our offices only after years of struggling without assistance. For some, college is the first time they have access to health insurance, counseling services, and the availability of diagnostic testing.

On that note, the Atlantic article also ignores pressing questions about youth mental health. Beyond increased awareness and better diagnostic tools, why are today’s young people experiencing higher rates of trauma  and mental health challenges? Could it have anything to do with the fact that today’s college students — who have grown up with active-shooter drills, unfettered access to largely unregulated social media platforms, and who are entering adulthood in an economically unstable, politically volatile, and rapidly changing world — have endured circumstances no previous cohort has faced?

Ultimately, “Accommodation Nation” fails to acknowledge that an increase in student support does not signal abuse. It shows that students finally feel safe enough to seek services to bolster their education. It signals progress. At a time when students with disabilities already navigate bias, skepticism, and physical and attitudinal barriers, we do not need narratives that delegitimize their existence or imply their success is suspicious.

We need investment, compassion, and the understanding that accessibility is not a loophole, but a civil right. We should be examining why students need support, not doubting whether they deserve it. We should be investing in and expanding accessibility, not undermining it. And we should be building universities that see disability not as an inconvenience, but as a natural and valuable part of the human experience.

Jillian Lillibridge Heilman, Ph.D., CRC, is a disability expert with more than 20 years of experience in disability education and advocacy. She is the Director of Student Accessibility Services at a small New England college and provides training to other colleges and private organizations that seek to better serve individuals with disabilities.

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I finally got into Stranger Things. Not because of the terror and gore, but because the show, to my surprise, lays out perfect metaphors for ADHD. Like me, its characters know a great deal about what it means to contend with an invisible force, seemingly of another dimension.

The Upside Down Is My Normal

When 12-year-old Will Byers goes missing from the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana, in 1983, his family and friends don’t realize that he’s actually right there beside them. He’s just in an alternate dimension called the Upside Down, which parallels the real world. The Upside Down is a colder version of home, a world of intense electrical storms, strange bloodthirsty creatures, and darkness.

Living with ADHD is a lot like being in the Upside Down. I’m amongst people in the real world, but they don’t see what’s in my dimension. While others go smoothly from Point A to Point B, I have fog, toxic quicksand, and squelching monsters that keep me from moving freely.

Stuck in a Loop

“Stuckness” appears throughout the show. Sure, there are the characters who become stuck in the Upside Down. But the Upside Down itself is also stuck. Even as time in the show’s world moves ahead, the Upside Down stays in 1983. Then there’s the mother of Eleven (a young girl with psychokinetic abilities) who is stuck in a catatonic state, caught in a mental loop that replays the events leading to her daughter’s kidnapping.

If my ADHD brain had a dial, “stuck in a loop” would be its default setting. It cycles endlessly through memories of childhood starring young me as a brilliant, shining disappointment. This loop replayed with intensity after I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 20s. I experienced my memories with a fresh set of eyes, mourning all the time I struggled socially and emotionally without understanding why. I become enmeshed in the loop less often these days, but it remains a constant presence.

☁️ Read: Getting Unstuck from the Cloud of ADHD Stuck-ness

The Mind Flayer

The powerful, massive, spider-like monster of the Upside Down — the show’s antagonist for most of its run — can connect to and command surrounding creatures and entities even as they venture outside the alternate dimension.

Sometimes, living with ADHD feels like living with a creature that’s flaying my body and mind. It tears through my brain, causing symptoms and challenges I’d rather bypass. But sometimes my ADHD acts like a living, breathing partner. Like when it drives me into hyperfocus and allows me to be extremely, but selectively, productive.

Vines and Tunnels

When Will becomes possessed by the Mind Flayer, he begins to erratically draw a series of tunnels and vines. His drawings, initially dismissed, are later discovered to be a map of the Upside Down growing beneath the town. The tunnels twist and turn, and the vines have minds of their own.

ADHD thinking patterns can operate like the vines and tunnels of the Upside Down. One thought gives birth to another, growing out of hand, spreading until I burn out. Or, without warning, a thought can stop. A brilliant idea becomes a dead end, abandoned.

💡 Read: The True Value of ADHD Side Quests, Rabbit Holes, and Tangents

Who’s In Your Party?

The teen protagonists of the show call themselves the Party, borrowing from a Dungeons & Dragons term for an allied group of players. The party and the entire town unite to confront the forces besieging their home.

When no one else knows I’m drowning, even those closest to me, I remind myself that the Upside Down is invisible. I need to let them know it’s trapped me. When I do, I have faith they’ll show up and help me fight every scary monster. When we feel broken, we can heal together.

Life is better with a Party.

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We all have childhood memories of upsetting an adult — of knowing we’re in trouble for disappointing a grown-up in one way or another. We remember the weight of our guilt and feeling like we were bad to the core.

As much as we remember the sighs, yells, and criticisms, we also remember the moments we were treated with compassion and understanding. The adults in our lives may not have known it, but in those empathetic moments, they were applying the principles of nonviolent communication with us.

Nonviolent communication (NVC) is an approach that children with ADHD and rejection sensitivity respond especially well to, in my view. As a parent with ADHD raising a child with ADHD, it’s an approach I try to embody every day.

What Is Nonviolent Communication?

NVC, created by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., is designed to help people manage conflict (in relationships, work, school, etc.) and express themselves without placing blame, shame, or guilt on others.

NVC centers on four components:

• Observation: focusing on what you see or hear, not on evaluations or labels.
• Feelings: identifying and expressing your actual emotions, not thoughts disguised as feelings.
• Needs: recognizing that feelings arise from needs being met or unmet.
• Requests: asking for clear, specific actions to help meet needs.

[Get This Free Download: How to Respond to Your Child’s Defiance]

There is much more to NVC, but its most important principle is that it requires us to take off our “adult” hats and become equals with our children. As someone who was raised in a household where children were seen, not heard, I know this is easier said than done. But a child cannot learn respect until they experience respect. And children learn to communicate effectively by being communicated with effectively.

5 Ways to Practice Nonviolent Communication with ADHD Kids

Follow these steps to incorporate the principles of NVC into your daily interactions with your child and improve your relationship with them.

1. Use “I” statements.

Instead of: Stop leaving your things everywhere! I tripped over your stuff again! Don’t be so lazy!

Nonviolent reaction: I see your shoes and backpack are on the floor. I feel frustrated when I trip over your things. I also get hurt. Please take the next minute to put your things away.

2. Avoid hyperbole.

Try not to exaggerate your child’s behaviors and avoid absolutes like “always” or “never.” Be mindful of thoughts masquerading as feelings.

Instead of: You always leave the fridge door open and walk away! You never listen to me when I ask you to be more careful. I feel like you just don’t care.

Nonviolent reaction: I came home today and found the fridge door open. I am annoyed that some of our food is now spoiled, and we need to replace it.

[Read: Your Positive Parenting Toolkit Has Arrived]

3. I feel __ because…

Connect your feelings to your needs to help your child see why something matters.

Instead of: Why are you making so much noise? Can’t you see that I’m trying to work?

Nonviolent reaction: I feel tense because I need to focus on my work but keep getting distracted by these noises. Would you lower your voice/tablet volume or move to another room so I can finish?

4. Focus on responsibility, not blame.

Let’s take it back to the open fridge door example of above.

Instead of: The food is all spoiled and it’s all your fault.

Nonviolent reaction: We’ll need to buy fresh food. Can you help by contributing from your allowance?

This principle is absolutely important for our rejection-sensitive children. Shifting from blame to responsibility reduces paralyzing shame and lets children focus on how they can make things better.

5. Let your child speak.

Even if they are whiny or hormonal. Even if they cry and seem irrational. Even if they blame everything else under the sun for their behavior, you must let your child speak. Your job is to listen and validate.

Instead of: It’s not my fault you don’t get your homework done on time! If you can’t speak to me with respect, then I don’t want to speak to you at all.

Nonviolent reaction: I hear you saying you forget about your homework and could use a reminder. I also hear you saying that it’s challenging to focus on more work after school. Let’s come up with a plan so you don’t fall behind or feel overwhelmed.

Paraphrasing your child’s words is extremely important. It calms children when they hear their own words echoed back to them with understanding. It shows them that they are worthy — because they are — of being heard.

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“Nothing activates the brain so extensively as music,” said famed neurologist and musicphile Oliver Sacks, M.D. As an avid music fan with ADHD, I have lived this truth from a young age.

I grew up in a music-obsessed family. I was named after Roberto Carlos, the renowned Brazilian singer. (Another option was “Fernando,” after the ABBA song.) My father was a serious vinyl collector, and rarely was our home silent. My parents instilled in my siblings and me an appreciation for all music, teaching us never to dismiss any artist or song but rather to express, “This music doesn’t speak to me now.”

I’ll never forget the first time I heard “We Got the Beat” by the Go-Go’s. The opening drum line, fast and strong, flipped a switch in my 10-year-old brain. I had never been instantly hooked like that by anything. Their album, Beauty and the Beat, was the first I ever bought, and it helped carve out my own musical identity. (All these decades later, the magic of this album endures.) From The Cure’s moody sounds and Sinéad O’Connor’s raw vocals to Tito Puente’s vibrant rhythms and Linda Ronstadt’s soulful voice, I listened to it all, and I still love discovering new music.

 

Fifth-grade me may have been a little dramatic when I wrote this in a school essay: “Music is my religion, my drug, my validation, and my salvation.” Theatrical, but not wrong. As a kid with undiagnosed ADHD, I innately understood that music was more than enjoyable; it was necessary. I gravitated toward it to manage symptoms I later recognized as ADHD.

I turned facts into songs for better recall. While studying, I drummed on random surfaces, and by test day, I “felt” the rhythm again to recall what I learned. My earliest attempts at writing were supercharged by music. I distinctly remember staring at a blank page, frozen, unable to start my assignment. Something compelled me to play Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” on my tape recorder. The iconic opening bassline unblocked my brain and lifted me out of paralysis. I am forever grateful to my dad, who could have shut off the music, but believed me when I said it was helping. Sure enough, the essay poured out in minutes. Today, I always have music — sometimes soft, but often loud and cacophonous — playing when I need to focus. In fact, I wrote my dissertation to bands like Green Day and Ministry.

Looking back, I admire how my parents used music creatively to support me. To keep me from lingering too long in the shower, my mom put a radio in the bathroom and said, “If you listen to more than four songs, then you’re in the shower too long.” My dad, who liked to listen to music in layers, replayed songs so I could focus on different instruments each time. He didn’t know that this way of appreciating music was a form of mindfulness – just what my ADHD brain needed.

Music has a special place in my life. I firmly believe in its power to connect, heal, and reveal the best in us. I’m passionate about sharing this truth, including with my patients. Whether creating playlists to validate feelings or dancing away social anxiety, I help others lean into music to improve their lives.

My ask: be an open-minded listener. Try a genre you’ve never explored or revisit a song you once dismissed — it might speak differently to you today. Here’s to discovering the next song that lights up your brain.

 

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

The following is a personal essay that reflects the opinion of its author.

November 24, 2025

U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has never attended medical school. He has no prior experience in formulating public health policy and no training in neurodevelopmental disorders. His opinions on the causes of autism have no basis in science and have drawn widespread criticism from medical and public health experts for their inaccuracies.

And Kennedy was wrong last week to order the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to change its website guidance on autism and vaccines. It now claims, without credible evidence, that “scientific studies have not ruled out the possibility that infant vaccines contribute to the development of autism,” an alarming reversal of the CDC’s longstanding position based on decades of research.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, along with 40 other medical, health, and patient advocate groups, responded immediately with a letter chastising the CDC for “promoting the outdated, disproven idea that vaccines cause autism.” For the last 25 years, dozens of rigorous, large-scale studies have found no evidence of an association between childhood vaccines and autism.^{1, 2, 3} These include a large-scale Danish study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine, which involved more than 537,000 participants (all the children born in Denmark over a seven-year period)⁴ as well as a meta-analysis involving cohort and case-control studies and more than 1.2 million children.⁵

[News: Anti-Vaccine Activist David Geier (Not a Doctor) Heads HHS Study on Vaccines and Autism Despite Past Censure]

“There is no link between autism and vaccines,” wrote the Autism Science Foundation on its website last Thursday. “This is consistent across multiple studies, repeated in different countries around the world, with different individuals, at different ages including infancy, and using different model systems. In addition, we know that some biological features of autism can be found prenatally, before any vaccines are administered.”

We know that autism is a highly heritable neurodevelopmental disorder. More than 100 genes have been associated with the condition, but experts agree that genetics and environmental factors likely both contribute. Controlling for a host of potentially confounding factors — including a high comorbidity rate with ADHD^{6, 7} — is critical in uncovering causes of autism, and it is difficult to accomplish.

Meanwhile, untrained and unqualified individuals continue to mistake association with causality when reviewing research studies on autism. For example, President Donald Trump recently claimed that a mother’s Tylenol use in pregnancy causes autism in her offspring, citing a study, co-authored by a Harvard epidemiologist, that found a small association between use of acetaminophen during pregnancy and risk of autism in children. This association, however, was not shown to be causal, a fact explicitly stated by the lead author of the review, Diddier Prada, M.D., Ph.D., assistant professor at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai.

“We show that acetaminophen is associated with a higher risk, but not causing it. Those are very different things,” Prada said in an interview with The Washington Post.

[Tylenol and Autism Are Not Causally Linked, Researchers Confirm]

These false claims about autism, published on the CDC website and broadcast at White House press conferences, have an immediate and profoundly negative impact on autistic people and their loved ones. The damage being done is not theoretical. It is real, it is measurable, and our readers are telling us about it right now. Here are some of their stories.

“Both my kids, 14 and 16, are autistic. My daughter came home from school crying shortly after the absurd proclamation. She was insistent that I have all references to autism and ADHD stricken from her school and medical records. The more she cried and talked, the clearer the picture became. She was worried that the Trump administration was creating a list of kids with autism, like her and her brother, so they could be rounded up and put into concentration camps. It took a couple of normalizing hours of conversation for her to calm down. As a parent, when you need to hold your 16-year-old until they stop quaking because of something said by the leader of our country, I get closer to the decision that our family needs to leave the U.S. While I consoled my daughter, I went through the gamut of emotions with anger and fear the predominant ones.”

“We live in Ireland, and even here my autistic child was affected. He asked me, as his mother, ‘Did you do this to me? Did you take a drug that caused my autism?’ He was emotionally dysregulated for days, and very angry toward me as everyone in school was discussing it.”

“My 8-year-old autistic son was watching a news story about the Tylenol-autism claims. He looked at me and said, ‘Wait, I’m autistic. Do I have a disease?’ I affirmed him the same way I always do when he struggles with one of his diagnoses, telling him he is a gift from God to us.”

“My son did have questions, as he is 14, and we didn’t get the diagnosis until he was 13. I felt relieved that I didn’t take Tylenol with his pregnancy, and I did with my other two pregnancies. The other two children are not diagnosed with ASD. I don’t think that the statements made by Kennedy and Trump are sound, but that speaks to the fact that mother shaming still exists when children have disabilities. I am a school counselor and I know better, and it is disheartening to think this still goes on. My son was happy I didn’t take Tylenol, however, he was open to me explaining how studies and research works.”

“Our child is a voracious consumer of science and political videos, plus the autistic kids at her school have a loosely connected network for mutual support. They are smart kids. They just laughed at the stupidity of the pronouncement.”

“This is my AuDHD daughter’s course of study, so she understands the flawed conflation of causation and correlation. It has been more difficult to speak with relatives about it, especially those who are taking this information at face value. Mostly, I have given up trying to change their minds, but am more vocal with the younger relatives who may become pregnant or have a significant other who may become pregnant on the importance of treating high fever during pregnancy.”

“We’ve had very animated conversations about this. We are both outraged by this and find it difficult to fathom how someone running a country can say such wildly inaccurate things without any evidence.”

Anni Layne Rodgers is General Manager at ADDitude.

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