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Tag: anxiety

  • Keeping Better Score of Your Diet | NutritionFacts.org

    How can you get a perfect diet score?

    How do you rate the quality of people’s diets? Well, “what could be more nutrient-dense than a vegetarian diet?” Indeed, if you compare the quality of vegetarian diets with non-vegetarian diets, the more plant-based diets do tend to win out, and the higher diet quality in vegetarian diets may help explain greater improvements in health outcomes. However, vegetarians appear to have a higher intake of refined grains, eating more foods like white rice and white bread that have been stripped of much of their nutrition. So, just because you’re eating a vegetarian diet doesn’t mean you’re necessarily eating as healthfully as possible.

    Those familiar with the science know the primary health importance of eating whole plant foods. So, how about a scoring system that simply adds up how many cups of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, chickpeas, split peas, and lentils, and how many ounces of nuts and seeds per 1,000 calories (with or without counting white potatoes)? Looking only at the total intake of whole plant foods doesn’t mean you aren’t also stuffing donuts into your mouth. So, you could imagine proportional intake measures, based on calories or weight, to determine the proportion of your diet that’s whole plant foods. In that case, you’d get docked points if you eat things like animal-derived foods—meat, dairy, or eggs—or added sugars and fats.

    My favorite proportional intake measure is McCarty’s “phytochemical index,” which I’ve profiled previously. I love it because of its sheer simplicity, “defined as the percent of dietary calories derived from foods rich in phytochemicals.” It assigns a score from 0 to 100, based on the percentage of your calories that are derived from foods rich in phytochemicals, which are biologically active substances naturally found in plants that may be contributing to many of the health benefits obtained from eating whole plant foods. “Monitoring phytochemical intake in the clinical setting could have great utility” in helping people optimize their diet for optimal health and disease prevention. However, quantifying phytochemicals in foods or tissue samples is impractical, laborious, and expensive. But this concept of a phytochemical index score could be a simple alternative method to monitor phytochemical intake.

    Theoretically, a whole food, plant-based or vegan diet that excluded refined grains, white potatoes, hard liquors, added oils, and added sugars could achieve a perfect score of 100. Lamentably, most Americans’ diets today might be lucky to score just 20. What’s going on? In 1998, our shopping baskets were filled with about 20% whole plant foods; more recently, that has actually shrunk, as you can see below and at 2:49 in my video Plant-Based Eating Score Put to the Test.

    Wouldn’t it be interesting if researchers used this phytochemical index to try to correlate it with health outcomes? That’s exactly what they did. We know that studies have demonstrated that vegetarian diets have a protective association with weight and body mass index. For instance, a meta-analysis of five dozen studies has shown that vegetarians had significantly lower weight and BMI compared with non-vegetarians. And even more studies show that high intakes of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes may be protective regardless of meat consumption. So, researchers wanted to use an index that gave points for whole plant foods. They used the phytochemical index and, as you may recall from an earlier video, tracked people’s weight over a few years, using a scale of 0 to 100 to simply reflect what percentage of a person’s diet is whole plant foods. And even though the healthiest-eating tier only averaged a score of about 40, which meant the bulk of their diet was still made up of processed foods and animal products, just making whole plant foods a substantial portion of the diet may help prevent weight gain and decrease body fat. So, it’s not all or nothing. Any steps we can take to increase our whole plant food intake may be beneficial.

    Many more studies have since been performed, with most pointing in the same direction for a variety of health outcomes—indicating, for instance, higher healthy plant intake is associated with about a third of the odds of abdominal obesity and significantly lower odds of high triglycerides. So, the index may be “a useful dietary target for weight loss,” where there is less focus on calorie intake and more on increasing consumption of these high-nutrient, lower-calorie foods over time. Other studies also suggest the same is true for childhood obesity.

    Even at the same weight, with the same amount of belly fat, those eating plant-based diets tend to have higher insulin sensitivity, meaning the insulin they make works better in their body, perhaps thanks to the compounds in plants that alleviate inflammation and quench free radicals. Indeed, the odds of hyperinsulinemia—an indicator of insulin resistance—were progressively lower with greater plant consumption. No wonder researchers found 91% lower odds of prediabetes for people getting more than half their calories from healthy plant foods.

    They also found significantly lower odds of metabolic syndrome and high blood pressure. There were only about half the odds of being diagnosed with hypertension over a three-year period among those eating more healthy plants. Even mental health may be impacted—about 80% less depression, 2/3 less anxiety, and 70% less psychological distress, as you can see below and at 5:15 in my video.

    Is there a link between the dietary phytochemical index and benign breast diseases, such as fibrocystic diseases, fatty necrosis, ductal ectasia, and all sorts of benign tumors? Yes—70% lower odds were observed in those with the highest scores. But what about breast cancer? A higher intake of healthy plant foods was indeed associated with a lower risk of breast cancer, even after controlling for a long list of other factors. And not just by a little bit. Eating twice the proportion of plants compared to the standard American diet was linked to more than 90% lower odds of breast cancer.

    Doctor’s Note

    You can learn more about the phytochemical index in Calculate Your Healthy Eating Score.

    If you’re worried about protein, check out Flashback Friday: Do Vegetarians Get Enough Protein?

    It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, though. Do Flexitarians Live Longer?

    For more on plant-based junk, check out Friday Favorites: Is Vegan Food Always Healthy?.

    Michael Greger M.D. FACLM

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  • “I’m a Special Ed Teacher with ADHD — and Parenting My Neurodivergent Kids Is Still Hard!”


    Raising not one, but two children with ADHD should be easy for me. I’m a special education teacher and I have ADHD myself. I also have a deep well of strategies, research, and professional experience to draw from.

    Sometimes, all of that helps.

    Often, it doesn’t.

    Having knowledge doesn’t mean that I have endless patience or perfect regulation. Having ADHD means that I struggle with impulse control — like snapping at my children to stop drumming on everything because the noise is overwhelming, even though I know that movement is how they regulate and avoid sensory overload.

    It looks like getting frustrated when my child is time blind and late for school for the hundredth time — while I’m also scrambling, overwhelmed, and trying to get myself together in the morning.

    When both parent and child are dysregulated, the gap between what you know and what you can do feels enormous. And that gap fills quickly with shame, guilt, and regret —wondering why you can’t be the calm, capable parent your child needs, especially when you “should know better.”

    💡 Free Download! A Survival Guide for Parents with ADHD

    But parenting a child with ADHD when you have ADHD isn’t about getting it right or having it all figured out. It’s about building a relationship that can hold imperfection, honesty, and repair. Some days will be hard. Some moments will still unravel. But when we name our needs, laugh at our shared quirks, and meet overwhelm with compassion instead of shame, something shifts: ADHD stops being a problem to manage and becomes a natural part of the family dynamic.

    Here are four parenting shifts that have made all the difference in my family.

    1. Honor your limits. It’s not about trying to be regulated all the time — it’s about learning to notice when I’m not. When I pause, name my limits, and step away before I’m flooded, I’m better able to support my children without shame or reactivity. Taking care of myself first isn’t selfish; it’s preventative.

    2. Be transparent. I’ve learned the power of being transparent with my kids in age-appropriate ways. Saying things like, “My brain feels overwhelmed right now, and I need a few minutes to reset” does wonders to de-escalate the moment. It also models something many children with ADHD rarely see — that overwhelm isn’t something to hide, apologize for, or power through. It’s something you can recognize, name, and respond to with care.

    💡Read: 4 Rules for Taking a Mom Rage Break

     

    Over time, this kind of modeling also reduces stigma. My kids don’t see their overwhelm as strange or wrong, but as a signal. They’re learning that it’s OK to voice their needs and to take steps to meet them. In those moments, the goal isn’t perfect regulation, it’s shared understanding.

    3. ADHD is not taboo. We talk about ADHD openly in my family. It’s not something we whisper about when things are hard. It’s part of how we understand ourselves and each other. My daughter and I often laugh about how our brains never seem to slow down — how one word during a conversation can remind us of a lyric from years ago and cause us to break out into song. These moments of connection remind us that our brains work similarly, and that similarity can be joyful.

    4. Seek neurodivergent experiences. We’ve also found connection through identity-affirming books — stories that reflect neurodivergent characters, big feelings, and brains that don’t fit neatly into boxes. Reading these together gives us language without pressure. It opens doors to conversations about overwhelm, creativity, and regulation without framing anything as “wrong” or needing fixing. Seeing ourselves reflected in stories builds understanding and closeness and reinforces that ADHD isn’t something to hide.

    Family Bonding and ADHD: Next Steps from ADDitude


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “5 ADHD Traits That Fueled (Not Hindered) My Growth”

    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Is Cannabis Putting A Cork In Wine

    Is cannabis putting a cork in wine explores crashing wine sales and cannabis replacing drinking occasions.

    In recent years, data from industry surveys and academic research have sparked a compelling debate: Is cannabis putting a cork in wine? Across markets in North America and beyond, wine sales have softened, while cannabis consumption—particularly in legalized regions—has surged. The overlap between these trends points to shifting consumer preferences and a possible substitution effect is rippling across hospitality, retail and cultural events.

    RELATED: The Rebel Heart Of The South Includes Cannabis And Rock

    Wine, long a staple of American social life and a cornerstone of the global beverage industry, is experiencing headwinds. Wine volumes have plateaued or declined in many mature markets as drinkers moderate their alcohol intake and younger generations skip traditional drinking occasions. According to market research, global wine demand hit its lowest levels in decades in 2024.

    U.S. survey data found a notable portion of regular wine consumers report drinking less wine, with some reducing consumption in favor of alternatives including cannabis products. Younger adults aged 21–34, in particular, are more likely to consider cannabis as a reasonable alternative to wine for social and relaxation occasions.

    Cannabis consumption has escalated rapidly since legalization in many states. For the first time, daily or near-daily marijuana use in the U.S. has surpassed similar levels of alcohol consumption, signaling a shift in recreational habits. Surveys indicate more than half of cannabis consumers report drinking less alcohol—or none at all—after incorporating cannabis into their routines, suggesting cannabis is substituting for alcoholic beverages in many social contexts.

    Industry analysts have documented a substitution effect, where greater access to cannabis and cannabis-infused beverages correlates with declines in wine and beer sales in certain local markets. One report noted in regions with cannabis products readily available, more consumers are choosing cannabis over alcohol in casual settings.

    Academic research supports this trend, showing a negative association between wine consumption and cannabis use, particularly for social drinking occasions. This substitution seems strongest for lighter wines like rosé and sparkling varieties, which historically have been popular with younger drinkers.

    RELATED: Marijuana Use And Guy’s Member

    The potential shift from wine to cannabis has implications beyond producers’ sales reports. Restaurants, wine bars and tasting rooms are adjusting to changing customer behavior, with some offering cannabis-infused drinks alongside or in place of traditional wine lists where local laws permit. Retailers once relied on wine sales for a significant portion of revenue are exploring cannabis accessories and complementary products to capture consumer interest.

    Wine festivals and tastings—long a draw for tourism and local economies—are confronting attendance shifts as some participants opt for cannabis-centric events instead. Even promotional calendars are evolving to include “weed and food pairings” and other hybrid experiences reflect broader lifestyle trends.

    As both industries adapt, the interplay between wine and cannabis continues to unfold, with consumer habits driving change at every level of the food and beverage ecosystem.

    Amy Hansen

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  • Why Anxiety Feels Worse Than Ever

    Why Anxiety Feels Worse Than Ever — And Why Cannabis Is Entering the Conversation

    Anxiety has become one of the defining experiences of modern life. Even people who never considered themselves anxious a decade ago now describe constant low-level tension, racing thoughts, and an inability to fully relax. What makes this moment particularly striking is that anxiety is rising at the same time access to “relief tools” has never been greater. Therapy apps, meditation platforms, prescription medications, breathing techniques, supplements, and wellness routines are everywhere. Yet many people still feel on edge. So people are now wondering – why anxiety feels worse than ever?

    RELATED: The Rebel Heart Of The South Includes Cannabis And Rock

    One reason is that daily life now operates at a pace the human nervous system was never designed to handle. Constant notifications, economic uncertainty, political noise, and the pressure to always be reachable keep the body in a state of alert. Even when nothing is “wrong,” the brain rarely gets a true off switch. Chronic stress, unlike acute stress, does not resolve. It accumulates.

    Another factor is awareness. Anxiety is discussed openly now, which is a positive shift, but that awareness can also make people hyper-attuned to their internal state. A racing heart or restless night is no longer brushed off; it is analyzed, searched online, and sometimes catastrophized. The result is a feedback loop where worrying about anxiety becomes anxiety itself.

    Traditional treatments still work for many people, but they are not perfect. Prescription anti-anxiety medications can be effective, yet they often come with side effects, dependency concerns, or emotional blunting. Therapy requires time, consistency, and access that not everyone has. Meditation and exercise help, but they are not instant fixes during moments of acute stress.

    This is where cannabis has quietly entered the mainstream anxiety conversation.

    For a growing number of adults, cannabis is not about escapism or intoxication. It is about relief. Low-dose THC, CBD-dominant products, and carefully balanced formulations are increasingly used to take the edge off racing thoughts, ease physical tension, and help people feel grounded enough to function. Many report that cannabis does not eliminate anxiety, but it softens it enough to make daily life manageable.

    Cannabis interacts with the body’s endocannabinoid system, which plays a role in regulating mood, stress response, and sleep. For some users, this interaction creates a sense of calm without the heavy sedation associated with other options. Importantly, today’s cannabis use looks very different from past stereotypes. Microdosing is common, and many consumers aim for subtle effects rather than feeling “high.”

    RELATED: Marijuana Use And Guy’s Member

    That said, cannabis is not a universal solution. In higher doses, THC can worsen anxiety, especially for new or sensitive users. Individual biology, product type, and dosage matter greatly. Experts consistently emphasize that cannabis should be approached thoughtfully, ideally starting low and slow, and not used as a replacement for professional care when anxiety is severe.

    What is changing is not just how people feel, but how they think about relief. Anxiety is no longer seen as a personal failing to power through. It is viewed as a signal that something in modern life is misaligned. Cannabis, for some, has become one tool among many to restore balance.

    As conversations around mental health continue to evolve, the question is no longer whether anxiety is increasing. It clearly is. The real question is how people choose to cope, and why so many are seeking options that feel gentler, more flexible, and more human. In that search, cannabis has moved from the margins into the mainstream, not as a cure, but as a conversation worth having.

    Amy Hansen

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  • “I Felt Like I Wasn’t Accessing My Potential.”


    A wave of intense shame pours over me as a familiar thought enters my head: What in the name of God am I doing with my life? And how did I end up here?

    Let me set the scene for you: I’m sitting at home, wearing a headset, taking calls for a psychic helpline. Yes, at the grand age of 30, I was moonlighting as a fake phone psychic. But I needed a job I could easily do from home, and this one sounded doable. And fun?

    I’ve had many different roles throughout my life. I’ve been part of a cabin crew, sold wine over the phone, worked for an international charity, sold suitcases, reported as a freelance journalist, and worked at McDonald’s, a shirt shop, a toothbrush factory, and a garden center.

    💡 Read: From Bowling-Alley Bartender to Cleopatra Waitress — My Story of ADHD Job Hopping

     

    Now, in my latest incarnation, I’m finally doing something related to my degree. I’m a Ph.D. researcher attempting to understand the link between ADHD, gender, work, and entrepreneurship. Through my research, and for the first time in my life, I’ve met other women with the exact same story as mine. Despite often being labeled as gifted or having above-average intelligence, many women with ADHD seem to flounder and float around in the working world.

    A checkered work history like mine seems to be so common among women with ADHD that I’ve come to see it as a shorthand sign of neurodivergence: Have you had 50 different jobs before the age of 30? If you answer yes, have you considered an ADHD evaluation?

    A Nagging Sense of Wasted Potential

    I make light of it, but it has always been a huge source of shame for me that, despite being told repeatedly how much “potential” I had, I could never distill it down to a traditional, fulfilling career. Not that there’s anything wrong with the odd jobs I had, only that I landed in them because I thought I couldn’t do more. And I couldn’t see myself fitting in anywhere else.

    How relieved I was to find I wasn’t alone; research backs up that people with ADHD tend to work in jobs that are below their academic qualifications. Despite scoring higher in intelligence tests, they also have lower self-esteem than their peers.1 2

    💡 Read: “You Have So Much Potential. You Just Don’t Apply Yourself.”

     

    Women with ADHD who are working in jobs far below their potential and academic credentials are only too familiar with this situation. I remember once while working as cabin crew, I asked a pilot the standard question of “Is your wife crew?” (It’s very common for pilots to marry cabin crew.) He looked at me, laughed, and said, “Oh, no. My wife is intelligent. She has a degree.” It felt like a punch in the gut.

    We Deserve Fulfilling Lives

    Learning that I had ADHD as an adult changed everything for me. It helped me understand my relationship to work and the fact that I — and many women — are navigating a world that largely wasn’t built for minds like ours. I’ve learned to forgive myself for my perceived failings, and I encourage women who see themselves in my story to do the same.

    Unconditional acceptance of your strengths and areas of need, strategic self-advocacy, and out-of-the-box thinking (perhaps even entrepreneurship) are key. But it’s not just on us — workplaces would benefit from learning how to support neurodivergent employees, which may need to come at a public policy level. It’s my hope to help create pathways that support neurodivergent women in reducing shame and building fulfilling and autonomous professional lives that allow them to access their full potential.

    ADHD and Wasted Potential: Next Steps from ADDitude


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

     

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Doctors turning to trusted life hack to eliminate pain of perfectionism – WTOP News

    It’s called “satisficing,” a combination of making choices that are satisfying and what suffices with the information that’s readily available.

    The hair-splitting and nitpicking pain of perfectionism can cause many people to overthink, stress or burnout.

    But an old life hack is surging that’s designed to eliminate anxiety linked to making perfect choices and spark quick action.

    It’s called “satisficing,” a combination of making choices that are satisfying and suffice with the information that’s readily available.

    Dr. Tina Thomas, an adult psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente, said it means a quick escape from analysis paralysis for many perfectionists.

    “As humans, we have this desire to want to make the right choice all of the time. And not do something until we are 100% prepared. But in that desire, we end up not really achieving a lot,” she told WTOP.

    The decision-making strategy was first used back in the mid-1950s by Dr. Herbert Simon. He taught patients to make choices based on their first “good-enough” option that met their needs, rather than the perfect choice. It helped reduce anxiety and rumination.

    “It’s about being good enough rather than perfect,” she said.

    In addition to the method, Thomas advises her patients to set and stick to clear deadlines, and once a decision is made, don’t second-guess it.

    “Be happy. You’ve made a good choice,” she said. “Know that your task is done and you can move forward.”

    Get breaking news and daily headlines delivered to your email inbox by signing up here.

    © 2026 WTOP. All Rights Reserved. This website is not intended for users located within the European Economic Area.

    Gigi Barnett

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  • Study: Highly Sensitive People More Prone To Mental Health Issues

    Highly sensitive people (HSPs) make up roughly 30% of the population, experiencing relatively stronger emotions and responses to internal and external stimuli. As you might imagine, it’s not always easy being so sensitive—which is why recent research published in the journal Clinical Psychological Science1 looked into how high sensitivity relates to mental health.

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  • “I Am No Longer Resolving to Fix My Child”


    Every January, the world sharpens its pencils and declares:

    Be more consistent.
    Follow through.
    Set firmer boundaries.
    Stick to the plan.

    But if you are raising a child with ADHD, as I am, you hear these phrases all year long. They come from friends, family members, teachers, neighbors, and strangers who see our children on their hardest days and decide they understand the whole story.

    If you were more consistent, your child would behave.
    If you enforced consequences, they would learn.
    If you just did something different, your child would be fine.

    Unsolicited comments about our parenting land like resolutions we never made and quietly turn into failures we carry.

    💡 Read: An Unusual New Year’s Guidebook for People Who Think Different

     

    ADHD Parenting Resolutions I Never Chose

    I have tried the charts and the routines. I have tried the calm voice and the firm voice. I have tried sticker systems, time outs, time ins, early bedtimes, later bedtimes, warnings, countdowns, and consequences that were supposed to fix everything. I have done these things consistently. I have done them desperately. I have done them while questioning myself every step of the way.

    None of them changed the reality of what it is like to raise a child with ADHD.

    ADHD is not defiance for the sake of defiance. It is not poor discipline or lack of effort. ADHD is emotional dysregulation so intense it hijacks the body. It is rage that comes without warning. It is despair that feels bottomless. It is not choosing chaos but drowning in it. It is a nervous system flooded to the point that logic cannot reach it.

    Still, the advice keeps coming.

    If you just followed through…
    If you just stopped negotiating…
    If you just stayed calm…

    Most parenting advice assumes a child who can consistently pause, reflect, and comply. ADHD breaks that assumption. Tough moments and inconsistency will always be part of ADHD, and they cannot be stamped out with discipline like a resolution. That is why well-meaning advice hurts and turns into intrusive thoughts: What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? Why is this still so hard?

     Read: 10 Things People Say to You When You’re Raising an Extreme Child

     

    A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution

    I am not trying to raise a child who looks well-behaved to strangers. I am trying to raise a child who feels safe in his own body. I am trying to teach him that his emotions do not make him bad. I am trying to help him come back from places many adults never see, let alone understand.

    The problem is not that ADHD families need better resolutions. The problem is that the world needs a better understanding of what ADHD actually is.

    Until that changes, parents like me will keep standing in the wreckage of well-intentioned advice, trying to explain why it does not work, and wondering why we feel like failures while doing some of the hardest parenting there is.

    I am done resolving to fix my child.

    Instead, I will work to shift how we collectively see ADHD. It is not a discipline problem. It is not a parenting failure. It is a neurological reality that requires compassion, patience, and support. That is the resolution ADHD families truly need.

    Rethinking Resolutions: Next Steps from ADDitude


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Meditation Could Improve Memory & Emotional Regulation, Study Finds

    It’s no secret that meditation has a ton of benefits, from improving sleep quality to helping you feel more calm and centered. But according to new research published in the journal PNAS, meditation might also support emotional regulation and memory. Here’s what they found.

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  • How To ‘CAP’ Off Your Day For Peak Health & Performance

    Even better, a positive evening ritual not only improves your mood, it helps reduce mental clutter. “Most of us spend our days in what I call ‘middle gear,’” Foster explains. “We’re constantly multitasking, switching between tabs, emails, and to-dos. By evening, our cognitive bandwidth is shot.” 

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  • “Raising My ADHD Child Taught Me I Was Never Broken”


    Some mornings, I can tell before he even speaks. The air feels charged, as if the world inside his head has woken early. My son moves fast, talks faster, and forgets things just as quickly. I whisper, “Slow down,” even though I know that phrase has never worked for either of us.

    He is my son, but he is also my reflection. The scattered thoughts, the lost shoes, the emotions that rise and fall without warning; I know them all. Parenting a child with ADHD while living with it myself feels like steering two race cars at once. Some days we glide forward. Some days we spin out.

    I used to think my job was to calm him. The world rewards quiet children and those who can smoothly transition. He was born in motion. He notices everything — the flicker of lights, the hum of the refrigerator, the way a room changes when people get tense. He cannot filter life, and neither can I.

    🏠 Read: I Had No Safe Place. Can I Build One for My Son?

    When I was young, teachers told me I had potential — if I would only focus. That word, focus, has followed me ever since. I hear it now when I watch my son trying to finish homework or listen to directions that last too long. His eyes glaze over the same way mine used to. I know exactly where his mind goes when it drifts. Everywhere at once.

    Living with ADHD is like carrying a thousand radio stations in your head and trying to tune in to one. Parenting a child on that same frequency means the noise never stops. Some days I am patient. Other days I am not. He melts down, and I feel myself melting, too. I tell him to breathe, forgetting I need to inhale, too.

    But there is also an understanding between us that words cannot explain. When he cannot describe what he feels, I already know. When others call him impulsive, I see the effort behind his eyes. When he blurts out something too honest, I hear the truth in it. We do not hide emotion well. That might be our biggest flaw and our biggest gift.

    There are days when we spiral together, both of us overstimulated and unsure how to stop. But there are also days when we find our rhythm. We walk the dog and talk about everything that crosses his mind. He asks questions faster than I can answer, but I try anyway. Those are the moments that bring peace. I stop trying to change him and start remembering what it felt like to be him.

    ❤️ Read: The Blessings (and Trials) of Parenting with ADHD

    At night, when he finally falls asleep, I think about how hard he works just to make it through the day. People see a boy who cannot sit still. I see a boy who fights invisible battles from morning to night and still finds ways to laugh.

    He has made me see my own mind differently. I used to think ADHD made me disorganized and too much. Now I see creativity and empathy in the same traits I once resented. He feels everything deeply, and so do I. Maybe we are not broken. Maybe we just move through the world differently.

    Some days I worry about how others will treat him. Other days I believe he will change the world instead of trying to fit into it. His mind is bright and restless. His curiosity has no limits. His energy wears me out but also keeps me alive.

    We are mirrors, he and I. His reflection shows me the parts of myself I used to hide and the parts I am finally learning to love. When I help him find calm, I find it too. When I remind him that being different is not wrong, I believe it a little more for both of us.

    Healing My Inner ADHD Child: Next Steps from ADDitude


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “Can’t Stop Worrying? Just Schedule It for Later”


    Did you know that you can timebox and even postpone your worry?

    I don’t need to tell you that anxiety has a way of hijacking the ADHD brain’s attention and focus. That it shows up unannounced, derailing our plans and schedules. But what if you could turn the tables and put anxiety itself on a schedule?

    Giving your worries a scheduled time slot — and pairing them with healthy reframing and other worry-busting skills — isn’t about suppressing or trying to stop anxiety. It’s about staying in control, a form of emotional regulation in action. You’re training your brain to avoid hours of rumination so you can stay more calm, present, and productive.

    Worry Time: How to Timebox or Delay Anxiety

    1. When anxiety and worry come up — like on your way to a doctor’s appointment, or just before taking a difficult exam, or as you think about a difficult conversation you need to have — immediately set a 15-minute timer. (Or whatever time frame is feasible.)

    2. Over the next 15 minutes, write or say aloud all your worrisome thoughts. What if I have a serious disease? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I fail my test? Give your full attention to your thoughts, no matter where they take you.

    💭 Read: Why Do I Assume the Worst-Case Scenario?

    3. As the minutes pass, you may find that you feel much better just by venting. You may have also challenged some of your thoughts:

    • How likely is that to happen?
    • What evidence do I have for this supposed outcome?
    • Where am I jumping to conclusions?
    • Am I doubting my ability to handle the outcome I fear? When have I faced a similar situation?
    • Is the problem in my control? What can I do about it if so? Which of my traits and strengths can I use to help me?

    If you find yourself devoting your entire session to worrying (or if time blindness is a factor), consider a timer within a timer — one to signal that it’s time to switch to problem-solving and thought-challenging mode.

    4. When the timer is up, stop worrying and return to your schedule. Close your notebook and say to yourself, “Worry time is finished.” Follow worry time with a pre-chosen anchor activity, like taking a shower or preparing dinner, to ease your mind off worrying.

    😌 Read: 6 Ways to a Worry-Free Mind

    5. In lieu of setting a 15-minute timer for worrying as soon as it appears, set a standing 15-minute appointment on your calendar for worrying, like you would for any other activity. When worries come up, jot them down and tell yourself that you’ll get to it later. Go ahead and tell your worry to wait. “I’ve got you on my calendar!”

    Linda was studying for the LSAT when the thought, “What if I fail?” kept flashing like a neon sign through her mind. Instead of spiraling and using up her precious study time, she scheduled two standing worry appointments — Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4:15 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. Whenever anxiety crept in, she reminded herself, “Not now — it’s on the calendar.” By the time her worry slot arrived, her mind was calmer and ready to problem-solve.

    So, the next time your brain insists, “What if I fail?” Try replying, “Great question! I’ll worry about it at 4:15 p.m.”

    How to Control Anxiety: Next Steps from ADDitude


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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Does science agree it’s better to give than receive? A doctor explains

    (CNN) — The holidays are here, which means you’re probably thinking about gifts — what to buy, whom to give to and how much to spend. Gift-giving is often framed as a source of stress and obligation, but a growing body of research suggests there may also be something beneficial about giving itself.

    I have wondered if science supports the idea that it’s better to give than receive, and if so, are there measurable health effects? Does it matter how you give, such as money versus time and big gestures versus small ones? And can giving ever backfire?

    I turned to CNN wellness expert Dr. Leana Wen, counting on her for some good advice. Wen is an emergency physician and adjunct associate professor at George Washington University who previously was Baltimore’s health commissioner. She is done with her holiday shopping for her family and friends.

    CNN: Does science really back up the idea that it’s better to give than receive?

    Dr. Leana Wen: Science does support that idea, with some key caveats. Research from psychology, neuroscience and public health shows that prosocial behaviors such as giving time, money or support to others are associated with benefits to well-being.

    That doesn’t mean that giving is always beneficial or that people should give at the expense of their own needs. But taken together, the evidence suggests that generosity can be good for both emotional and physical health.

    CNN: What kinds of health benefits have researchers found?

    Wen: A wealth of research links giving and helping behaviors to better mental well-being, including lower rates of depression and anxiety and higher life satisfaction. Surprisingly, the effects also go beyond mental health: Researchers have found associations between prosocial behavior and lower stress hormones, reduced inflammation, better cardiovascular outcomes and longer lifespan.

    Notably, a large 2023 JAMA Network Open review looked at 30 studies involving prosocial interventions, which include acts of kindness, charitable giving, community volunteering and helping behaviors. Researchers found improvements in mental well-being, lower depression scores, physical activity and even blood test results

    Giving time and effort, such as volunteering at a food bank, often produces stronger benefits than giving money alone. Credit: Drazen Zigic/iStockphoto / Getty Images via CNN Newsource

    CNN: How does giving affect the brain and body?

    Wen: Giving activates reward pathways in the brain in areas linked to pleasure, motivation and social bonding. These actions trigger the release of chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins, which are associated with positive feelings.

    Another key hormone is oxytocin, which plays a role in stress regulation. Oxytocin can lower blood pressure, reduce stress responses and promote feelings of social connection. Over time, repeated activation of these pathways may help explain why generosity is linked to better health, especially in conditions influenced by chronic stress, such as depression and heart disease.

    CNN: Is this just correlation, or is there evidence that giving actually causes these benefits?

    Wen: That’s an important distinction. Some early research was observational, which means it’s possible that perhaps healthier or happier people were simply more likely to give. But more recent studies include experimental designs that strengthen the case for causation.

    For instance, randomized trials have asked participants to perform acts of kindness or generosity and compared them with control activities. These studies have shown short-term reductions in stress hormones like cortisol, along with improvements in mood and emotional well-being. While it is harder to prove long-term causation, the consistency across experimental, biological and population-level data makes a strong case that giving itself plays a role.

    CNN: Does it matter how people give, whether it’s money, time, small gifts or expensive ones?

    Wen: Yes, the type and context of giving matter a great deal. Research suggests that voluntary, meaningful giving is more beneficial than giving that feels obligatory or stressful. Giving time and effort, such as volunteering or helping someone directly, often produces stronger benefits than giving money alone.

    Meaning also matters. Giving that aligns with personal values or strengthens social connection is likely to be more beneficial than something that is impersonal or transactional. All this means that small acts such as writing a thoughtful note, helping a neighbor or spending time with someone who is lonely can have meaningful effects.

    CNN: Can giving ever be harmful?

    Wen: Absolutely. Giving is not universally beneficial. When giving leads to financial strain, exhaustion, resentment or neglect of one’s own health, the benefits disappear and can even reverse. Caregiver burnout is a clear example. People who give extensively without adequate support often experience worse physical and mental health.

    The key is balance. In the ideal circumstances, giving should be voluntary. People should not feel pressure to give beyond their means or capacity, especially during the holidays, when expectations can be high.

    CNN: Who benefits most from giving?

    Wen: Benefits have been observed across age groups, but some populations appear to gain particular advantages. Older adults who volunteer often show better physical functioning and lower mortality risk. People who feel socially isolated may also have significant benefit because giving strengthens social ties and provides a sense of purpose.

    There is also growing evidence that adolescents and young adults benefit from prosocial behavior, with improved mental well-being. Researchers are studying whether structured kindness or volunteering programs can support health across the lifespan.

    CNN: How should people think about gift-giving during the holidays?

    Wen: The holidays can be a good time to rethink what giving means. Instead of focusing on cost or quantity, people might consider gifts that foster connection or shared experience. Time, attention and thoughtfulness matter more than price.

    It’s also important to set boundaries. Giving should not come with guilt or pressure. Choosing to give in ways that feel meaningful and opting out of expectations that cause stress is consistent with what the science suggests about healthy generosity.

    CNN: What’s the takeaway this holiday season?

    Wen: Giving can be good for health, but only when it is done thoughtfully and within one’s means. Science supports the idea that generosity can reduce stress, strengthen social bonds and improve both mental and physical well-being. The holidays offer an opportunity to practice generosity in ways that are healthy, sustainable, meaningful and connected to what matters most.

    Katia Hetter and CNN

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  • “How Rewriting the Past Can Help You Overcome ADHD Shame”


    Shame — that deep sense of inadequacy and unworthiness — has the unique ability to travel across time, informing our present and our future. While the work of rebuilding self-worth happens in the now, it also often requires a trip to the past.

    If shame weighs on you, loosen its grip by incorporating these two short exercises (the same I share with my clients) into your days. Over time, these activities will rewire your mind and shift your focus from perceived inadequacies to self-compassion, growth, and progress.

    Anti-Shame Activity: Alternative Endings

    Think of an incident that triggered shame. (Start small.) Come up with three different endings for this uncomfortable, even painful, situation that you can feel better about.

    ⚡ Read: 9 Truths About ADHD and Intense Emotions

    Say you felt ashamed recently for talking over an acquaintance. You can imagine an ending where you gently laughed off the interruption and said to them, “Sorry, I got so excited there that I couldn’t hold it in. Please, continue — I really want to hear what you have to say.”

    Develop goals based on what you learned from this activity. For example, you may want to come up with mantras to help you stay present and actively listen. You may also want to build a habit of quickly acknowledging, apologizing, and moving on when interruptions happen (which takes practice!).

    Imagined endings are not denial or daydreaming. They are therapy-based tools that force you to reckon with shame. They teach your brain a new route, encourage you to forgive yourself, and weaken shame’s hold. Don’t worry if this exercise feels awkward at first — forming new grooves takes time and practice.

    Anti-Shame Activity: Hidden Gifts

    Think of three people you know well in your life. For each, write down three of their strengths or good qualities. Then, ask them to do the same for you. You can say, “I’m doing an insights exercise. Would you be willing to share three strengths that you see me use when things get hard? One sentence is perfect.”

    💡 Read: How to Do a Strengths Inventory

    It may feel awkward to do this activity, but the response from my clients is overwhelmingly positive. Many note that it’s a profound experience filled with many surprises.

    Don’t think of this activity as your typical strengths and weaknesses list. Its purpose is not necessarily self-improvement, but self-insight and self-appreciation — strong antidotes to shame and feelings of inadequacy.

    Set a goal to review the responses regularly. Consider creating a reminder or monthly appointment on your calendar to nudge you to read through the responses.

    If your shame is tied to trauma, depression, or thoughts of self-harm, bring these exercises to a licensed clinician to ensure you have support.

    How to Get Rid of Shame: Next Steps


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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Girl, 9, becomes different person overnight, then comes rare diagnosis

    Lacy was an outgoing, fun nine-year-old. Then, one night, everything changed. She became a shell of herself.

    Her mother, Crystal, 30, from Illinois, told Newsweek she can only describe last year as “hell.” Doctors said her first-born had anxiety and depression — but Crystal’s instincts told her something else was happening.

    Recently, Crystal shared a TikTok video on (@crysrenae) showing Lacy on her ninth birthday, sitting in front of a watermelon wedge with candles, her face blank beside her excited younger brother. The clip then cuts to this year: The same girl grinning from ear to ear in front of cake. The transformation has struck a chord online, drawing almost 40 million views.

    Crystal says the change came after Lacy received the right diagnosis and treatment. Now, she’s using her platform to raise awareness about pediatric acute-onset neuropsychiatric syndrome, or PANS — a condition in which children develop sudden obsessive-compulsive symptoms or restrictive eating, alongside an abrupt and dramatic behavioral decline. The syndrome is often linked to infections, though a clear trigger isn’t always identified.

    The PANDAS Physicians Network (PPN) explains a related condition, PANDAS — pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcal infections — is considered a subtype of PANS. It follows the same sudden-onset pattern but is specifically tied to a recent strep infection and can include tics and neurological changes.

    What Are the Symptoms?

    Children with PANS or PANDAS don’t just develop OCD-like behaviors or eating restriction overnight. They also experience a rapid onset of at least two other serious symptoms.

    These can include:

    • Severe anxiety
    • Mood swings or depression
    • Irritability or aggression
    • Regression in behavior
    • Sudden academic decline
    • Motor or sensory abnormalities
    • Physical issues such as sleep disruption

    Lacy suffered with all of the above; her mom told Newsweek that she was suddenly full of “rage.”

    What May Cause It?

    The PPN states researchers with believe simultaneous exposure to multiple infections can essentially “misfire” the immune system. In some cases, that may mean the body’s normal safeguards fail, allowing immune cells to attack healthy tissue. In others, the immune system may become overactivated and mistakenly target neuronal cells. Genetics may also play a role, with some children more predisposed to these abnormal immune responses than others.

    How Lacy “Changed Overnight”

    Crystal said the earliest signs appeared after Lacy developed food poisoning. She became intensely fearful of vomiting and started showing separation anxiety. She also stopped enjoying toys and TV shows.

    “She was checked out,” Crystal told Newsweek. “Little did we know that was the beginning of PANS.”

    Then, in July, her symptoms escalated dramatically.

    “She had a mental break and almost had an episode of psychosis,” her mother recalled. “One night, she became out of touch with reality and started banging on my door in the middle of the night, saying she needed to go to the hospital.

    “She didn’t know why, but she knew something was happening.

    “After that, she had many fear episodes, it was insane. She became a fear-ridden kid.”

    Lacy was seen by multiple doctors and repeatedly diagnosed with anxiety and depression. But Crystal says the behavior looked like something deeper — and far more frightening.

    “It seems horrible to say, but she almost seemed possessed, like something came over her body.

    “She was trying to run away. She felt trapped and was in utter terror.”

    Lacy began expressing suicidal thoughts, she destroyed her bedroom multiple times and smashed a window. By August, she was begging to be admitted to a psychiatric ward.

    “Everything happened so fast, she started to try and hurt herself and us,” Crystal said.

    “Anxiety wasn’t even the right word; she was scared of herself and so were her siblings.”

    Crystal said psychiatrists struggled to explain what was happening. Feeling out of options, the family started researching on their own — and came across PANS.

    “I was trying to figure out what happened, because I didn’t know who this child was,” she said.

    The Search for Help

    Crystal took Lacy out of the psychiatric ward in September, and her family drove to Indiana to see a PANS specialist.

    “I didn’t know it was a controversial diagnosis or that it would be an issue to get the diagnosis,” Crystal said.

    “It was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with, and I think I have post-traumatic stress disorder from it.”

    She stressed there were no major life events that could explain the shift and that Lacy’s grandmother moved in to help manage the chaos at home.

    “There were times when I thought she was going to kill one of us — not necessarily meaning to — but I thought my parents were going to have a heart attack from stress,” Crystal said.

    Lacy’s symptoms were often quieter in the morning, then worsened at night. She refused to sleep. The family cycled through care options, many of which were not covered by insurance.

    “A lot of insurance companies do not cover it, so we had to pay out of pocket,” Crystal said.

    “If it wasn’t for my parents, we wouldn’t have been able to fund it.”

    She estimates her parents spent more than $10,000 on testing and medication. Bloodwork screened for infections and abnormal antibodies.

    A Turning Point

    “From what I understand, her immune system attacked her brain, causing inflammation — autoimmune encephalitis — and she didn’t have control of her brain,” Crystal said.

    The family tried multiple antibiotics before one began to help. In December 2024, doctors recommended adding a very low-dose antipsychotic alongside antibiotics.

    “We were against it but we were so desperate,” she said.

    “It was a turning point.”

    On Christmas Day last year, Crystal said she saw her daughter return.

    “It was a miracle — she was happy, smiling, and living life again,” she said.

    Since then, Lacy has continued improving. She’s had setbacks, but her mother says she is largely back to herself. She also receives IVIG infusions, a treatment aimed at regulating immune function and preventing relapse.

    “Today, she is living life again — doing extracurricular activities and hanging out with her friends,” Crystal said.

    “I didn’t think this would be possible one year ago.”

    “She wasn’t eating then, and now she almost doesn’t have anxiety anymore.”

    “We are all doing much better as well.”

    “You Aren’t Alone”

    Crystal says she’s sharing Lacy’s story for the families who are still in the spiral she remembers all too clearly.

    “I want people to know they aren’t alone,” she said.

    “I was looking for anything I could find, desperate to find other parents going through it.”

    “I felt like I was living a life that nobody knew about.”

    “I felt alone and desperate to find other parents.”

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  • “7 Ways to Parent in the Age of Brain Rot”


    Almost without exception, parents tell me the same story: Meltdowns, yelling, and door-slamming the moment their teen is forced to quit their video game, log off TikTok, or otherwise disengage with their preferred form of “brain rot.” The explosive reactions happen again and again, even after conversations and apologies for past transgressions.

    This behavior may look like defiance, but I argue that it’s a sign of dopamine withdrawal. No, that’s not far-fetched. We know that short-form content — think TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Instagram Reels — is carefully engineered to activate the brain’s dopamine centers.1 We also know that excessive consumption of short-form content is linked to poorer attention, depression, anxiety, stress, and loneliness. Difficulty disengaging and regulating emotions offline is a common result.2

    It stands to reason that youth with ADHD, whose brains are wired for novelty and stimulation, and who have difficulty regulating, feel the effects of these digital dopamine hits (and withdrawals) more intensely.

    📱 Read: Why Screens Mesmerize Our Teens — and How to Break the Trance

    So, what can you do to release the latest brain rot’s hold over your child? Once you understand how dopamine drives your child’s reactions, the next step is to guide that chemistry instead of fight it. The strategies below will help your child regain calm and control and build healthier reward patterns.

    1. The Power-Down Countdown

    “Five more minutes” doesn’t mean much to ADHD brains. Visuals say a lot more. Try color-changing timers, countdown apps, or lamps that fade from green to red to signal that it’s almost time to switch away from screens. You can even turn it into a challenge: Log off before the light turns red to earn more allowance.

    2. Dopamine Down Shift

    Abruptly shutting off a heavy stream of dopamine destabilizes ADHD brains. Instead, move your child into a dopamine replacement activity that is short, satisfying, and active. That can be shooting a few baskets, racing around the living room, drawing for five minutes, or solving a short puzzle — anything will do, if it’s a real-world activity that reinforces to kids that stimulation is possible outside of digital realms.

    3. Cool Down Bridge

    To further help your child’s brain transition, try a cool down bridge — a short sensory ritual — to help soften the landing off devices. Some kids pace while listening to a favorite song, others stretch or splash cold water on their face. It doesn’t matter what the in-between activity is, only that it signals to the brain that it is time to switch gears to a calmer state.

    🕹️ Read: An “Ethics Manual” for Your Teen’s Electronics

    4. Collaborative Control Plans

    Chances are that your teen doesn’t want to have meltdowns, either. When your child is calm, invite them to help you come up with a plan to transition away from screens and devices. Ask, “What would help you stop without becoming too upset?” or “How could we make this easier next time?” Ownership builds cooperation.

    5. Dopamine Diversity Days

    Make one day each week a screen-break day. Go hiking, cook together, build something, or play music. Try not to frame the day as a loss, but as something your family is gaining. Say, “We’re giving our brains a different kind of fuel today.”

    6. Reclaim Dopamine Autonomy

    The goal is not to eliminate games, screens, or content from your teen’s life. It is to help them understand what certain forms of content do to their brain, health, and ability to stay in control. You can appeal to your teen’s natural desire for autonomy by talking about digital tactics that are meant to hijack their decision-making:

    “That streak is trying to trick your brain into FOMO.”

    “That timer wants you to log back in.”

    Celebrate when they skip a reward on purpose. Challenge them to see missing a “daily login” as proof of control.

    7. Examine Your Own Brain Rot

    Teen screen use is directly correlated with parental screen use.3 While you may not consume the same content as your child, it’s likely that your screen time could use some work. Set screen-free zones and times, such as during dinner or while doing homework. Try to keep devices out of bedrooms. Use timers and rituals to transition away from devices, too, (and make sure your child sees you doing so). Encourage ongoing, open conversations about screen use, its pros and cons, and its impact on mental health.

    Brain Rot and Teen Screen Time: Next Steps


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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “College Accommodations Are Not a Loophole. They Are a Civil Right.”


    The following is a personal essay that reflects the opinion of its author.

    December 10, 2025

    As a director of disability services in higher education, I am deeply troubled by the framing and assumptions of such services in “Accommodation Nation” an article recently in The Atlantic that positions college accommodations as a burden, casts suspicion on students with disabilities, and erodes decades of progress made by disability advocates who have fought for equal access to education.

    Accommodations Are Not “Easily Gamed”

    It’s true that the number of students seeking accommodations has risen over the years as rates of diagnosed ADHD, anxiety, and other conditions have increased. But this is because diagnostic tools have improved dramatically, leading to increased identification. Increased identification is not a sign of manipulation, as The Atlantic article insinuates. It is the result of better science and long-overdue recognition.

    Yet articles like “Accommodation Nation” use these realities to cast doubt on students’ lived experiences. At my institution, students must go through multiple steps before accommodations are considered. They complete a detailed online application, provide documentation from licensed professionals that identify which major life activities are impacted by their condition(s), and outline specific functional limitations. I regularly follow up with providers to better understand the applicant’s diagnosis. Then I meet with the student to explore their needs, discuss barriers, and determine appropriate accommodations.

    Free Guide: How to Get Accommodations in College

    This is not a casual or “easily gamed” process, as The Atlantic suggests. It is a careful, legally grounded, individualized assessment rooted in education, awareness, and advocacy.

    The Right to Education, Not Exploitation

    What concerns me most about The Atlantic article is how it reinforces the false narrative that students with disabilities are inflating their needs or receiving unearned advantages. Disability services offices are not handing out “perks.” Rather, we are ensuring that students can access the same educational opportunities as their peers. That is the foundation of civil rights laws.

    The disability rights movement began in the 1960s and, before that, many individuals with disabilities were banned from education altogether. Today, that access to education translates to employment, independence, and contributions back to society. Undermining accommodations threatens to send us backward at a moment when the Department of Education itself is being dismantled and national conversations around mental health, ADHD, and neurodivergence are already steeped in stigma.

    Students with disabilities are not a burden. They are welcome at the table of higher education.

    Read: 4 Hallmarks of ADHD-Supportive Colleges

    Accessibility Is Not a Loophole

    One in four Americans lives with a disability. At my small college, roughly 25% of students are registered with disability services; I suspect there are another 10% who would qualify, but choose not to come forward because of stigma. Smaller schools often attract students seeking supportive, high-touch environments, and many students come to our offices only after years of struggling without assistance. For some, college is the first time they have access to health insurance, counseling services, and the availability of diagnostic testing.

    On that note, the Atlantic article also ignores pressing questions about youth mental health. Beyond increased awareness and better diagnostic tools, why are today’s young people experiencing higher rates of trauma  and mental health challenges? Could it have anything to do with the fact that today’s college students — who have grown up with active-shooter drills, unfettered access to largely unregulated social media platforms, and who are entering adulthood in an economically unstable, politically volatile, and rapidly changing world — have endured circumstances no previous cohort has faced?

    Ultimately, “Accommodation Nation” fails to acknowledge that an increase in student support does not signal abuse. It shows that students finally feel safe enough to seek services to bolster their education. It signals progress. At a time when students with disabilities already navigate bias, skepticism, and physical and attitudinal barriers, we do not need narratives that delegitimize their existence or imply their success is suspicious.

    We need investment, compassion, and the understanding that accessibility is not a loophole, but a civil right. We should be examining why students need support, not doubting whether they deserve it. We should be investing in and expanding accessibility, not undermining it. And we should be building universities that see disability not as an inconvenience, but as a natural and valuable part of the human experience.

    Jillian Lillibridge Heilman, Ph.D., CRC, is a disability expert with more than 20 years of experience in disability education and advocacy. She is the Director of Student Accessibility Services at a small New England college and provides training to other colleges and private organizations that seek to better serve individuals with disabilities.

    College Accommodations: More Resources


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  • Something Weird Happened Last Night | Cup of Jo

    stars

    At 3 a.m., I sat straight up in bed…

    Suddenly wide awake, I realized my heart was pounding, my mind racing. Our family has been going through some tough stuff behind the scenes (who isn’t?), and as I hurried from my bed to splash water on my face in the bathroom, and then back to my bed, and then to the window, and then basically in circles, I realized I was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack.

    I grabbed my phone from the closet and dialed Freddie. “Jo?” he said, as if from a dream.

    “I’M FREAKING OUT,” I said, my eyes wild and searching. “Will you ask me questions to calm me down?”

    “Yes!” he replied, without skipping a beat. “What are your favorite fruits in fruit salad?” Now, as I write this, the question makes me laugh, but at the time, it felt like an absolute life raft.

    “Cantalope,” I said. “Grocery stores put in too much, but I like some.”

    “What else?” he asked. “Berries?”

    “Strawberries, yes, but not raspberries.” I said. “Maybe apples? My mom puts in sliced banana, which is better than you’d expect.” Suddenly, my heart leapt back into my throat, and, while pacing around the bed, I raised my voice: “What else? Freddie, please ask me something else.”

    “What’s Anton reading in school right now? A Raisin in the Sun?” he said. “What’s that about? Who are the characters?”

    So, I told him about the 1959 play by Lorraine Hansberry about a family in Chicago. Then he asked me to walk him through my childhood house, and tell him the cultural differences I’ve observed on Love Is Blind: Italy. (I had THOUGHTS.) By the time we hung up, an hour later, I was back in my body and could breathe normally once again.

    Today, while I work and pay bills and ferry my children to school and back, I keep thinking of Freddie, standing at the front of his classroom, explaining the American Revolution to his high school students, maybe sneaking in a yawn now and again, rubbing his dry eyes, preparing to return home to tend to his own two children at the end of the day. As I picture him, with salt and pepper hair, tired but steady, I realize that, somehow, “what fruits do you like in fruit salad” at 3 a.m. is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. This is love; what a gift.

    Have you ever woken up like this? How do you calm yourself when your mind starts spiraling? Nothing like that has ever happened to me before!

    P.S. An anxiety trick, and two fruit salad recipes. 😉

    (Photo by Evan Dalen/Stocksy.)

    Joanna Goddard

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  • “Stuck in the Upside Down: How Stranger Things Captures Life with ADHD”


    I finally got into Stranger Things. Not because of the terror and gore, but because the show, to my surprise, lays out perfect metaphors for ADHD. Like me, its characters know a great deal about what it means to contend with an invisible force, seemingly of another dimension.

    The Upside Down Is My Normal

    When 12-year-old Will Byers goes missing from the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana, in 1983, his family and friends don’t realize that he’s actually right there beside them. He’s just in an alternate dimension called the Upside Down, which parallels the real world. The Upside Down is a colder version of home, a world of intense electrical storms, strange bloodthirsty creatures, and darkness.

    Living with ADHD is a lot like being in the Upside Down. I’m amongst people in the real world, but they don’t see what’s in my dimension. While others go smoothly from Point A to Point B, I have fog, toxic quicksand, and squelching monsters that keep me from moving freely.

    Stuck in a Loop

    “Stuckness” appears throughout the show. Sure, there are the characters who become stuck in the Upside Down. But the Upside Down itself is also stuck. Even as time in the show’s world moves ahead, the Upside Down stays in 1983. Then there’s the mother of Eleven (a young girl with psychokinetic abilities) who is stuck in a catatonic state, caught in a mental loop that replays the events leading to her daughter’s kidnapping.

    If my ADHD brain had a dial, “stuck in a loop” would be its default setting. It cycles endlessly through memories of childhood starring young me as a brilliant, shining disappointment. This loop replayed with intensity after I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 20s. I experienced my memories with a fresh set of eyes, mourning all the time I struggled socially and emotionally without understanding why. I become enmeshed in the loop less often these days, but it remains a constant presence.

    ☁️ Read: Getting Unstuck from the Cloud of ADHD Stuck-ness

    The Mind Flayer

    The powerful, massive, spider-like monster of the Upside Down — the show’s antagonist for most of its run — can connect to and command surrounding creatures and entities even as they venture outside the alternate dimension.

    Sometimes, living with ADHD feels like living with a creature that’s flaying my body and mind. It tears through my brain, causing symptoms and challenges I’d rather bypass. But sometimes my ADHD acts like a living, breathing partner. Like when it drives me into hyperfocus and allows me to be extremely, but selectively, productive.

    Vines and Tunnels

    When Will becomes possessed by the Mind Flayer, he begins to erratically draw a series of tunnels and vines. His drawings, initially dismissed, are later discovered to be a map of the Upside Down growing beneath the town. The tunnels twist and turn, and the vines have minds of their own.

    ADHD thinking patterns can operate like the vines and tunnels of the Upside Down. One thought gives birth to another, growing out of hand, spreading until I burn out. Or, without warning, a thought can stop. A brilliant idea becomes a dead end, abandoned.

    💡 Read: The True Value of ADHD Side Quests, Rabbit Holes, and Tangents

    Who’s In Your Party?

    The teen protagonists of the show call themselves the Party, borrowing from a Dungeons & Dragons term for an allied group of players. The party and the entire town unite to confront the forces besieging their home.

    When no one else knows I’m drowning, even those closest to me, I remind myself that the Upside Down is invisible. I need to let them know it’s trapped me. When I do, I have faith they’ll show up and help me fight every scary monster. When we feel broken, we can heal together.

    Life is better with a Party.

    Understanding ADHD: Resources


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    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

    Nathaly Pesantez

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