Category: Family & Parenting

I don’t recall roughhousing with my children, and I am certain my parents didn’t roughhouse with me. When I try to come up with a list of parents who roughhouse with their children now, it’s painfully short. Whether it’s because children are often “overbooked” with activities and spend much if not all of their free time on devices or that parents are too busy or worry about the safety of twirling their toddler or wrestling with an 8-year-old (or all of the above), everyone misses out.

The concept of roughhousing may make you nervous. When we think of children’s roughhousing, we think of fighting or someone getting hurt. I used to send my kids outside to “cool off” when their inside interactions escalated and became too physical. But parent and child horseplay is an entirely different story with a wide range of proven benefits.

For decades, Peter Gray, Ph.D., research psychology professor at Boston University and one of the foremost proponents of children’s play, has been telling parents that play is essential for children’s healthy development. His research demonstrates that “Free play is the primary means by which children learn to control their lives, solve problems, get along with peers, and become emotionally resilient,” as he explains in his book, Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life.

Although Gray posits activities that are not adult-driven or supervised, there is also enormous value in parent–child play. It, too, can “unleash” many of the same benefits associated with undirected and unmonitored peer play. Children are driven to play, Gray tells us, and it’s a good bet most children will sign on to having a parent’s full attention even when the play is not fully free and unstructured.

Anthony DeBenedet, MD, and play therapist Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., both fathers, make the point that play not only brings parents and children closer but also unlocks creativity and encourages confidence in children. In their book, Unplug and Play, The Ultimate Illustrated Guide to Roughhousing with Your Kids, they offer instructions with pictures for a wide range of activities broken down by age and type. An activity titled “Just Plain Wrestling” is recommended for children aged 2 years and older. The degree of difficulty is listed as easy, with no actual grappling skills required.

In another one-on-one activity, the parent is the base and the child the flyer. You can also turn your child into a “Greek catapult,” where you launch your child into the air (within reason) onto a soft surface, like a mattress, or their feet. This is best for 5- to 8-year-olds; degree of difficulty, medium; essential skill: spotting. Each entry has full directions that include safety precautions parents can take to prevent injury. Think pillow fights, human cannonballs, and magic carpet rides as some of the ones you will want to jump into right away.

Roughhousing Guidelines

The authors offer detailed guidelines for successful roughhousing, among them the following:

• Don’t surprise your children by starting any horseplay activity if they are not ready.

• Roughhousing has a natural arc—start calm and escalate to high intensity, always allowing for wind down before stopping.

• Avoid overstimulating your child. You can slow down by speaking softly, moving at a slower pace, or taking breaks.

• Let your child win sometimes to build the confidence a child needs when not at home.

Source: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

When I spoke to Michael Schroeder, a father of four, and freelance writer and editor, he said that physical play is something he grew up with—and that it has always played a role in how he interacts with his kids, ages 6 through 13.

“Wrestling is a regular feature in our house,” Michael says. “It’s one more way we have fun together, and it’s easy to see how anxious energy dissipates and connection happens with physical play. It seems to loosen everybody up.”

Regular physical play can reinforce a positive family dynamic, like dancing in the living room or enjoying any other pastime together. I watched a friend dangle her year-and-a-half-year-old by his feet upside down and then set him upright on her shoulder. The little boy laughed the entire time. I think this mother has already established a sense of trust through their physical contact.

Surprising Benefits of Horseplay

Where better to start and encourage valuable skills than at home with the security of parents? You may want to stop leaving the roughhousing to the kids, their siblings, or peers. You can quickly reap the benefits—yours and your children’s—that grow out of parent–child roughhousing. DeBenedet and Cohen offer potential pluses you wouldn’t expect to result from ditching the electronic devices and roughhousing with your children that also include the following:

• Unlocking a child’s problem-solving skills
• Helping a child understand fair play
• Building a child’s confidence
• Instilling a lifetime bond because you become attuned to one another

Taking a few minutes to roughhouse—to become an elephant or elf, a bulldozer or the bearer of a magic wand—with your child pays off in the sheer joy you both feel. And, as DeBenedet and Cohen point out, studies suggest that physical play with your kids “forestalls mental decline” in adults.

No matter how exhausted you feel, a quick romp revives you and adds to the family memory bank. I know this for a fact. Off and on, I became the “Kissing Monster.” Chasing my kids around the house to give them a kiss was not only fun but also horseplay that they, as adults, still talk about.

For children, play is learning, however you and they choose to do it.

If you love adventure or want to try something new for the whole family, Upstate Zipline near Greenville, SC offers that thrilling ride you’re looking for! We checked it out ourselves and have all the details on how to enjoy this new attraction in the Upstate, SC. 

Thank you to Upstate Zipline for hosting us so we could write this review. 

Have you ever wanted to zipline over water or speed through the trees for a half-mile while suspended a couple hundred feet in the air? I have! The brand new Upstate Zipline has you covered. In fact, it has the whole family covered as kids as young as three-years-old can zipline here. 

I did the entire course with my daughters, ages 12 and 8, and we all absolutely loved it. From registration to communication beforehand to check-in to the actual zipline tour, Upstate Zipline was a memorable and exciting experience, one I’m sure families will enjoy. 

About Upstate Zipline 

The Upstate’s newest zipline course is at Keowee-Toxaway State Park in the Upstate, about an hour from Greenville. It consists of 10 ziplines, including two where you zip over Lake Keowee. It’s even cooler than it sounds. 

Upstate Zipline is owned and run by Robert and Joanna Nickell, who have been constructing, inspecting, and imagining the adventures of ziplines for 27 years. They’ve moved all over the country as they have opened new zipline places but fell in love with the Greenville area and decided to relocate here and build a zipline course in 2021. 

Robert and Joanna were able to work with South Carolina State Parks to construct the current zipline course at Keowee-Toxaway State Park. If you’re familiar with the park, the location is across the street from where you would go to hike the Natural Bridge/Raven Rock Trail. 

There are picnic tables and bathroom facilities where Upstate Zipline is located. 

When the course was designed and constructed, it was done to preserve as much of the natural world as possible and not include clunky steel towers or anything that looks like it really doesn’t belong there. What you’ll notice most is how the course is built around the trees and natural topography – which is exactly the way it was designed. 

The Course

The course for Upstate Zipline is so cool. They have 10 lines, including one that is more than 250 feet off the ground and one that is a half-mile long. You don’t zip across any of the lines twice so all the scenery is new. 

There are two guides on your tour (special shoutout to Preston and Hayle, who were amazing), one that receives you on the other end of the line and another guide who sends you off. 

The first four lines are right near the building where you check in and aren’t too high off the ground or long, which is perfect for giving guests a feel for how ziplining works, how to brake properly, and how to watch for the cues from the guides on when to slow down or let your hand off the brake. This will be important later on in the course. 

Then comes the really fun part. You’ll zip to a platform, cross a suspension bridge and head right to the half-mile-long zip line. I couldn’t see the other side of it and felt just a tad nervous. But once I got up there and started zipping through the air, it was the coolest feeling. You’re so high and going so fast and it’s just a really neat, freeing feeling. 

After that zipline, you get to go on the fastest line in the course so pay attention to your guide and when he/she tells you to brake. It’s easy, don’t worry. 

The last two lines are right over Lake Keowee. I’ve ziplined in several places but never over water and it was so incredible. The area where you zipline over is a private cove so you don’t need to worry about boats below and you won’t go anywhere near touching the water (although that would be fun!). 

Once you zip through the last line, you’ll be brought back to the headquarters of Upstate Zipline in a little bus, about a three-minute drive. 

All in all, it took us just over two hours to complete the course. We had about eight people in our group so it may be shorter if you have fewer since the guides need to clip and unclip everyone about a hundred times throughout the course (it may be less but it seemed like a hundred times – safety is of utmost importance). 

Safety at Upstate Zipline 

Speaking of safety, that is of utmost importance to Upstate Zipline, high above everything else, pun intended. Guides are extensively trained by Universal Zipline Technology, the leader in the zipline industry, on how to use the zipline ropes and clips and what to do in cases of emergency. 

The entire zipline course is inspected daily and Robert and Joanna have 27 years of experience in this industry. They also travel and inspect other zipline courses throughout the country, including some we’ve written about at Kidding Around. 

Our guides were laser-focused on safety our entire trip. They must have rechecked our gear a dozen times and gave us instructions multiple times as well on how to best enjoy the course safely. They were both really fun to be around with great personalities but it was more than obvious they were paying close attention to us the entire time. 

Requirements for Guests

Upstate Zipline is the only zipline place I’ve been to that allows kids as young as three-years-old to participate. They make it safe for these kids because they pair them with a guide for the longer zip lines. The reason most zipline places don’t allow kids this young to go is because they would never make it across the zipline because they don’t weigh enough. By pairing them with a guide, the kids can enjoy the course, making it a true family adventure! 

My youngest child is eight-years-old and hardly weighs anything so for half of the course, Preston went with her on those ziplines. She had a blast and I was comforted knowing that my daughter was in good hands. 

The other important rule is that for participants that are 5′ 6″ and shorter, they must be 250 pounds or under. Participants that are 5′ 7″ and taller must be 275 lbs or under. 

When you check in, you will be weighed (this is absolutely common practice on all zipline and ropes courses). 

When you book your zipline adventure, please make note of all of these requirements before purchasing your slot. 

Full Moon Tours 

We did a daytime tour but Upstate Zipline does offer Full Moon zipline tours for the truly adventurous among us. You’ll do the course by moonlight with headlamps and then you get s’mores and a campfire afterward. This would be such a fun adventure, especially if you’re camping nearby. 

Guests who do the Full Moon tour must be 8 years old and advanced reservations are recommended.

Tips on Enjoying Your Zipline Tour

After doing the entire zipline course, we have a few tips:

• Bring water. It gets warm out there and having water is key. 
• You have to wear shoes that won’t fall off so basically no flip-flops. 
• Wear sunscreen. When the leaves are off the trees especially, you’ll be waiting in the sun on the platforms. 
• Go to the bathroom before you go on our tour. You can’t get out of your harness to make a bathroom stop during the tour. There are bathrooms where you check-in. 
• Follow the rules and get there a half hour before your tour so you have the time you need to get geared up and go through all the safety instructions. 
• Book now for the fall. I can’t even imagine how incredible this course will be come October when the leaves change. It’s going to be awesome.

Booking Your Adventure

You can book directly online with Upstate Zipline through their Upstate Zipline website. They do offer group discounts and be sure to sign up for their newsletter and follow them on social media to keep updated on the latest news and discounts. 

The zipline tour is $89/person and the Full Moon Tour is $99/person. 

Upstate Zipline
138 Museum Circle, Sunset, SC
864.720.4318
Upstate Zipline Website
Upstate Zipline Facebook

For other places to zipline in our region, see our Ziplining in the Southeast story.

Q: “I’m a college junior and always feel overwhelmed. I have so much work to do that I’m always busy, but it feels like I’m not making much progress. When I try to focus, I get distracted or interrupted.” — CollegeJunior

Hi CollegeJunior:

Have you ever heard the expression “in the zone?” Some people call it doing deep work or harnessing a flow state.

While in a flow state, you can focus, concentrate, and filter out distractions. It feels like you’re locked into a task and making real progress toward completing it. People in a flow state feel confident, invigorated, and powerful, likely because there is a sense of control and accomplishment surrounding the task.

Entering a flow state can feel natural and even intuitive for some people. For others, especially those with ADHD, finding flow can seem impossible. After all, the very hallmarks of ADHD are difficulty focusing or concentrating and filtering out internal and external distractions. However, almost anyone can create the conditions to achieve a flow state.

Flow State: 10 Tips

Here are my top 10 strategies for creating the conditions for optimum flow.

1. Create Time to Focus

Look at your calendar and block off periods where you can work without distractions. You may want to schedule these blocks around specific activities or times when you’re naturally more productive and alert or when fewer people are around.

[Free Download: How to Focus (When Your Brain Says ‘No!’)]

2. Define What You’ll Work On

My student-coaching clients miss this step the most. They either come to the table not knowing how to use their time, or they do not clearly and specifically define their tasks.

Let me explain.

When you define your work, you need to be as concrete and specific as possible. For example, you may use your time to write a history paper. But within that assignment, there are tasks like “conduct preliminary research,” “craft theme or thesis statement,” or “write the first draft,” etc.

To optimize your time and attention, be as specific and detailed as possible in defining the work ahead. For example, you may define your task as “draft first four pages” or “draft introduction and conclusion.”

3. Shout and Share

To foster accountability, share what you are working on with someone else. Tell your study group. Phone or text a friend. Getting it out of your head and into the universe will help motivate you to finish the work. If you are uncomfortable sharing, then write it down. Many of my students post their intentions on their walls or computers. No matter what you do, please don’t keep it to yourself.

[Free Download: 5 Powerful Brain Hacks for Focus & Productivity]

4. Work on One Thing at a Time

A fancy word for this concept is “monotasking.” Fun fact: Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to get your attention back on a task or project after you’ve been interrupted (or interrupted yourself). ¹ In other words, switching between subjects or projects can cost you valuable time.

5. Work in Bursts

It’s easier to stay focused if you have a stopping point. If you remember that “done” doesn’t have to mean “completely done,” your work bursts can be more productive and constructive because you’ve already set your expectations. For example, if you only have one hour to work on a project, you can stay on task because you know that you will be done at the end of the hour. And that point of done becomes the starting point for your next work burst.

6. Schedule Breaks

If you have more than an hour to work on your project, set specific times for a break. Think of this as stringing together bursts with short breaks in between. The breaks give your brain — and body — time to rest and recharge. Use your breaks productively. Go for a quick walk. Stretch or do some short exercises. Have a snack or sip. Switch your location. Please don’t work on another project or do an activity or task that will be hard to stop when your break ends, such as scrolling your social feeds.

7. Eliminate all Distractions

Create a “Do Not Disturb” environment. Shut down the tabs or install distraction apps on your computer. Turn off your phone and place it in another room. Having your phone in the same room, even when turned off, can limit cognitive performance. Do whatever you need to physically take yourself off the grid.

8. Generate Energy

Before starting, do some jumping jacks, run in place, or dance around your room. The movement will energize you and get the blood flowing through your body and brain.

9. Set Up Your Workspace

Your environment plays a huge role in helping you get in a flow state to complete your work. If you don’t like where you spend your time, you won’t get down to business. Aim to create an environment that motivates you and supports the work you need to do. Consider everything from the room’s color to having a stash of your favorite pens on hand. Don’t forget about food. There is no better magic elixir for conjuring a flow state than food. So, make sure to have your favorite beverage or snack on hand.

10. Create a Work Ritual

Use the time before you tackle a task to prepare your brain for deep work by purposefully performing actions that will ensure a smooth transition into a flow state. For example, before I work on any writing assignment, I check my emails and text messages, shut off my phone and place it in another room, pour my favorite beverage, and turn on my “focus” music. Performing a work ritual allows me to transition easily into deep work.

Creating the optimum conditions for deep work takes time. You’ll need to determine what works for your learning and working style. So don’t get discouraged. Trust yourself. Keep trying different approaches until you find what works best.

Good luck!

Flow State for ADHD Minds: Next Steps

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Source

¹Mark, G., Gudith, D., & U. Klocke,. (2008). The Cost of Interrupted Work: More Speed and Stress. Proceedings of the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems. 107-110. https://doi.org/10.1145/1357054.1357072

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Thinking about attending Monster Jam? You’ll get to see Linsey Read compete in the Scooby-Doo Monster Truck at the Arena Championship Series East. Find out all about this driver, her family, and what she loves about driving the Scooby-Doo truck!

“Linsey Read driving Scooby-Doooooo,” announces Linsey’s adorable four-year-old daughter when she walks into the kitchen. Or anywhere in the house. 

This is a common scene at Linsey’s house. After all, she’s one of Monster Truck’s most loved and entertaining female drivers and someone who loves putting on a show.

Linsey Read: Becoming a Monster Truck Driver for Monster Jam

Getting paid to drive an enormous truck, racing them around an arena and doing tricks sounds like a really cool job. Linsey Read from El Paso, Texas thought the same. She was working in retail after high school and loved going to the Monster Jam shows. She watched the female drivers speed around in the huge trucks and knew what her calling in life was at that moment. 

She skipped college and went straight into pursuing her dream of driving a Monster Truck. Linsey started by doing a Tough Truck Competition in El Paso, placing fifth of 25 drivers – with zero experience. The next year she was only milliseconds away from first place. That got her noticed by a few Monster Truck drivers, who asked if she had ever thought of driving a Monster Truck. 

Bingo. 

Linsey went to Monster Jam University where she was trained on how to drive a truck and then started her career in 2016. Monster Jam asked her to drive Scooby-Doo, a hugely popular truck originally driven by Nicole Johnson. It was off to the competitions from there. 

Mom and Monster Trucks

Linsey Read became pregnant with her daughter about a year into her Monster Jam truck career and took some time off to have her baby. Her daughter is now older and isn’t afraid to give her mom advice.

“My daughter was four months old when she went to her first show,” said Linsey. “Now she tells me I should have taken a turn differently or did a different trick. She loves watching me drive.”

And of course, her little girl loves to practice announcing mom at home.

“I think she’s going to grow up to be a Monster Jam announcer,” said Linsey.

Linsey’s husband and daughter would often travel with her to shows. They are still her biggest supporters and for fans, she loves meeting kids who want to grow up to become Monster Truck drivers. 

“I remember how I felt when I was watching them and I want to be that person for them. I want to show them that it is possible – you don’t need to have motorsport experience to become a driver,” she said. 

Monster Jam Shows Near Me

Monster Jam usually comes to Greenville every January, and drivers are constantly rotated and refreshed. Though Linsey Read will not be traveling to SC in 2023, you can check out the Monster Jam Arena Championship Series Central in several cities throughout South Carolina and North Carolina, with Monster Jam shows in Columbia, SC in April 2023.

Be sure to check out the Pit Party! This is where fans can get up close with the trucks and meet the drivers and take photos. Tickets can be purchased here.

Raising children is a challenging task, and every parent wants to do the best they can for their kids. However, some parents tend to be overprotective and overly involved in their children’s lives. This type of parenting is commonly known as helicopter parenting.

It is a parenting style that has gained popularity in recent years, but receiving criticism from experts. They believe it can potentially interfere with early child development.

In this article, we will explore what helicopter parenting is, its signs, effects, and how to avoid it.

What is Helicopter Parenting?

Helicopter parenting is a term used to describe a type of parenting where parents are overly involved in their children’s lives. They hover over them, constantly monitoring their every move, and micromanaging every aspect of their lives.

It is characterized by parents who are overprotective, overly involved, and overbearing.

Helicopter parents are always present, never giving their children enough space to explore their world independently. They tend to control every aspect of their children’s lives. This may range from their academic performance to their social lives, and even their hobbies and interests.

Signs you are a helicopter parent!

Here are some signs that you may be a helicopter parent:

You

• Constantly monitor your child’s activities: Helicopter parents often keep a close eye on their child’s every move. They will obsess over their academic progress, extracurricular activities, and social interactions.

• Make decisions for your child: Helicopter parents want to make most decisions for their children. They do this without giving them the opportunity to make their own choices or take risks.

• Have high expectations for your child: Helicopter parents often have very high expectations for their children. This ranges from academic to personal success, and may push their child to achieve at all costs.

• Are overly protective: Helicopter parents may be overly protective of their child. They may not allow them to take risks or experience failure.

• Are anxious about your child’s safety: Helicopter parents may be overly anxious about their child’s safety. They may not allow them to engage in activities they perceive as risky or dangerous.

• Struggle to let go: Helicopter parents may struggle to let their children become more independent as they grow older. They may want to continue to hover and micromanage even as their children enter adulthood.

Are there benefits derived from parenting as a helicopter?

While many argue that helicopter parenting has negative consequences, there are those who see potential benefits. Here are just some of them:

• Safety: Helicopter parents are known for being highly involved in their children’s lives, which can translate into increased safety. Helicopter parents are likely to closely monitor child activities and ensure they are not engaging in risky behavior.

• High achievement: Helicopter parents may push their children to excel academically, professionally, or in extracurricular activities. This can lead to high achievement and success in the long run.

• Close relationship: The level of involvement that helicopter parents have in their children’s lives can create a close bond between them. Helicopter parents may be more likely to know their children well and be able to provide emotional support where needed.

Drawbacks of helicopter parenting

While helicopter parenting can have some benefits, there are potential disadvantages to this parenting style. Here are some of them:

• Decreased independence: Helicopter parents often do not allow their children to make their own decisions or take risks. This can result in children who are overly reliant on their parents and lack independence.

• Low self-esteem: Children who are constantly monitored and critiqued by parents may develop low self-esteem. This will happen because they feel they can never measure up to their parents’ expectations.

Looking for a place to pick your own strawberries in Greenville, SC? Here’s the inside scoop about which local farms in the Greenville, Spartanburg, and Anderson areas are the best for strawberry picking.

And since we know how much you all love maps, we made one for all these strawberry farms:

RELATED: Berry Festivals in Upstate SC  | Tips for Berry Picking with Kids

Looking for a great place to pick strawberries near Columbia, SC? Check out Cottle Strawberry Farm.

Where to buy local strawberries near Greenville

Looking for locally grown strawberries? You’ll start to see them popping up anywhere between late March through late April–depending on which part of the state they are grown in. Because this is a popular season, we encourage you to call ahead/visit the farm’s Facebook page to make sure the farm stand or farm has strawberries available.

Beechwood Farms, Marietta

They have berries available now and u-pick is expected to open mid-April 2023. Check the Beechwood Farms Facebook page for updated information. Pre-picked strawberries are $15/gallon.

Bellews Market, Spartanburg

Bellews Market sells pre-picked strawberries and they also have lots of other fruit and produce for sale.

UPICK: Buck and Ann’s Strawberry Farm, Greer

Call ahead before you go to this small (but tasty) strawberry farm just to make sure they are open. Their address is 139 Pearson Road in Greer (near Abner Creek) and their phone number is 864.879.4612.

This video is from their 2019 patch:

UPICK: Callaham Orchards, Belton

Callaham Orchards is located near Belton and is worth the drive for the variety of foods they offer. They do have u-pick but check their website before you go to make sure it’s open. Berries go really fast so get there as soon as they open if you really want them. The season usually begins with strawberries in April and runs as late as October for pumpkins.  They were adversely affected by the later frost in March 2023 so they aren’t sure exactly of timing of produce.

Carolina Fresh Market, Pelzer

You can get fresh strawberries at the Carolina Fresh Market by the gallon starting in mid-April. Just check their Facebook page before you go to make sure they aren’t sold out. They also sell lots of produce, vegetables, and local goods.

[No strawberries for 2023] UPICK: Due West Strawberries, Donalds

Due West will not have strawberries in 2023. Check their Due West Facebook page for current hours.

UPICK: Greyrock Farms and Green Acres Produce, Moore

Located in Spartanburg, Greyrock Farms has pre-picked berries and their u-pick field will be open by mid-April. You can also purchase fresh produce, milk, eggs, butter, and chocolate milk.

UPICK: Hunter Farms, Easley

At Hunter Farms, you can pick your own strawberries or buy at the stand, along with local honey and beautiful flowers. And they make fresh strawberry milkshakes that are not to be missed. Hours are Monday – Saturday 8 am – 6 pm and Sunday from 1-5 pm. U-pick is $16/gallon with your own bucket, or $17 if you don’t bring your own. Pre-picked berries are $20/gallon.

Mile Creek Farm Market

Mile Creek is located in Six Mile, SC and will have a lot of pre-picked strawberries come mid-April as well as produce and fruit.

UPICK: Obermiller’s Strawberry Farm, Hendersonville, NC

About an hour north of Greenville, Obermiller’s Strawberry Farm plans to open around Mother’s Day 2023 (May 14, 2023) for strawberry picking. They provide containers and 2022 pricing for strawberries was $14/gallon. Follow them on Facebook for the latest in when their fields are open. They also have blackberries and blueberries for upick over the summer.

UPICK: Pinebreeze Farm Strawberry Fields, Pelzer

Pinebreeze Farm, a small family farm in Pelzer, will open for u-pick strawberries by mid-to-late April 2023. They currently have a small quality of prepicked strawberries available, so we recommend following their Facebook to grab them fast! They’ve got pre-picked ones as well. Be sure to check their Facebook page for updated info and closures. Hours are Monday – Friday from 8 am – 7 pm and Saturday from 8 am – 5 pm. They are closed Sundays.

[No strawberries for 2023] UPICK: Reedy River Farms, Easley

You’ll have to make an appointment to u-pick strawberries at this farm. Unfortunately their 2023 strawberry crop didn’t make it so they will not have strawberries this year.

CLOSED 2022: Sandy Flat Berry Patch, Taylors

Located at 4715 Locust Hill Road in Taylors, this farm might be out of the way for some, but it is totally worth the trip.  Unfortunately the farm isn’t opening for the 2022 season due to some unforeseen circumstances. Follow the Sandy Flat Berry Patch Facebook page for updated info.

UPICK: Stewart Farms, Enoree

Stewart Farms in Enoree is wildly popular with families here in Greenville – as in, get there early when you decide to go. We’ll update when they officially open but they have announced a preview u-pick day on Wednesday, March 29, 2023 from 9 am – 5 pm. Upick gallons are $15 and pre-picked is $18. Be sure to check their website, Facebook or give them a call at 864.969.7270 before you go to check for any last-minute changes or hours.

Strawberry Hill USA, Chesnee

Strawberry Hill USA (the largest strawberry farm in SC) is located up in Chesnee with strawberry sales beginning late March 2023. Prices are $16/gallon and $6/quart. They currently have a limited quantity of prepicked strawberries available as of the end of March, so follow their Facebook for updates if you’re craving those sweet berries! While it does not offer u-pick, we think it’s a must on your berry stops because their berries are delicious. But, and we cannot emphasize this enough, get there early and call before you go to make sure they have berries available. In previous years, they picked 700 gallons one day and sold out by the afternoon.

UPICK: Lush Acres Farms, Clinton

They have both u-pick and prepicked strawberries. U-pick is $16/gallon and prepicked is $18/gallon.

Other Local Fruit Crops:

Where to pick your own peaches

After strawberry season comes peach season. The official state fruit of South Carolina is generally a summer fruit, harvested between June and September. Fun fact: South Carolina outproduces our neighboring peach state of Georgia in annual peach production! On average, South Carolina farms will yield about 60,000 tons of peaches annually.

Fisher’s at Taylors

The 94th season is opening on April 7th, 2022 at Fisher’s Peach Orchard. If you grew up in the Greer area, you probably went to The Peach Shed on Hwy 290 a couple of times and you for sure ate ice cream at Dillard’s.  When I was little, we went and picked peaches and blackberries and then went home and made pies.  Those childhood memories were so amazing, I’m starting the tradition with my son this year.  The Peach Shed is now called Fisher’s at Taylors. 

Fisher’s has grown into three Greer locations, including Fisher’s Pick Your Own (650 Fisher Road), Fisher’s at Dillard’s Ice Cream (504 S. Buncombe Road), and Fisher’s at Taylor’s (1001 Locust Hill Road).  If you’re looking for fresh fruits (including locally grown strawberries!), this is the place to go.  Their spring hours begin April 2022. Their PYO farm may open in the summer when the fruit is at its best, but is dependent on the weather and crop for 2022. See their Fisher’s Orchard Facebook for up-to-date information.

Jeter Mountain Farm

A new farm on our list, Jeter Mountain is located about an hour north of Greenville in Hendersonville, NC. They have u-pick peaches, apples, grapes, and even elderberries. The u-pick orchard will open late July 2023. Read our review here.

Where to pick your own blueberries

You can anticipate seeing blueberries in South Carolina throughout June and July, and sometimes into August.

Here’s our full list of places to pick blueberries near Greenville, SC.

RELATED KAG CONTENT: CSA Farms in Greenville | Swamp Rabbit Cafe | Where to Find Local Produce in the Upstate

Photo of Jennifer Nunes (left) with son Dominic

By Louise Kinross

When Jennifer Nunes put her son Dominic to bed one night in 2018, he was a happy, healthy baby. So she was terrified to find herself riding in an ambulance with him the next morning. He’d suffered a severe stroke. Making It To Monday is Jennifer’s memoir about how she and her family coped. Dominic was hospitalized for rehab at Holland Bloorview twice—first after his initial stroke and then after a major brain surgery. In a bid to stop what had become uncontrollable seizures, one hemisphere of his brain was detached from the other. We talked about how Jennifer, who is a social worker, found herself on the receiving end of care.

BLOOM: Who did you write this book for?

Jennifer Nunes: I wrote this book for any parent or caregiver that was going through a difficult time. When I was at Bloorview I went to the library and looked for a book that would be authentic and honest about the darkness and the fear, but which would also give me hope to hold onto, from the parent perspective. I couldn’t find anything. So I decided I would write it, and maybe we could make meaning from why this happened, and also help other people. 

BLOOM: You had worked as a hospital social worker. What was it like to be on the receiving end of care?

Jennifer Nunes: My husband doesn’t work in health care so it was an interesting dynamic. I had an advantage in that I had a knowledge of the language and some of the terms and even the physical space seemed more familiar to me. Where it was a drawback was where I knew too much and made assumptions very quickly that maybe weren’t emotionally helpful to me. I remember early on we were pulled into a side meeting with a doctor and a nurse practitioner and a social worker and I thought: ‘Oh God, they’re going to tell us he may die.’ Because I remembered having those meetings with families.

BLOOM: Tell us a bit about Dominic now.

Jennifer Nunes: He’s five years old and in senior kindergarten. He loves anything that moves: cars, trucks, trains, airplanes. He loves building things with Magna Tiles. He plays with his sister and is very social. He loves to go for walks outside and be in nature. Throwing rocks in the water is one of his favourite things. He’s talking and he uses an ankle-foot orthosis and a wrist splint. 

He had left-sided weakness after his stroke, and that increased a bit after his brain surgery. He also has no field of vision left of centre in both eyes, as a result of the surgery. So his picture of the world stops at his nose. His acuity for seeing things far away is great, but he has a very narrow field of vision. It makes it challenging in the community if someone’s walking on his left side or if he’s in an unfamiliar place. If he doesn’t see something on the left he’ll walk into it. Now we make sure he’s scanning his environment.

BLOOM: Turning his head to pull more into his vision?

Jennifer Nunes: Yes. His vision loss also impacts his processing speed because listening to something and scanning the room at the same time takes more energy. Before he wouldn’t say anything but now we’re helping him advocate for himself. If someone asks him a question and he has trouble word-finding he may say ‘I’m thinking,’ or ‘Give me a minute.’

BLOOM: You went through repeated traumas. What period was most challenging as a mom?

Jennifer Nunes: There were different periods of time that were extremely challenging, but in different ways. The stroke was a shock. There was no warning. That was horrific and terrifying.

The seizures started without warning, but it wasn’t as abrupt as they didn’t impact his functioning immediately. They grew worse over time. It was a different kind of hard because we went in with our eyes open. I could research and find out about the hemispherectomy surgery, and I knew Bloorview from our first stay. The difficulty was we were exhausted. What scared me later on was what if this surgery doesn’t work to stop the seizures? What if it isn’t effective? Making that decision was really hard.

BLOOM: What strategies helped you cope with such extreme situations?

Jennifer Nunes: The biggest thing I learned from my son’s stroke and hemispherectomy was I needed to let stuff go. I was a very Type A person and I liked to do things myself. If I asked for help I thought it meant I can’t do it. I had to change that mindset, which was so detrimental to my own wellbeing. I had to allow myself to accept help from others. If someone said ‘Can I do your laundry?’ or ”Can I bring dinner?’ I had to say ‘Yes,’ because I was so tired and scared and all of my energy was focused on my child. If you have help, accept it.

The other thing that was really helpful was I didn’t waste any time in getting connected with the online parent community. The downfall of that is that you hear everyone’s stories, and sometimes there isn’t a happy ending. But there’s a benefit to knowing we’re not alone. I found Facebook groups for hemiplegia and stroke and pediatric epilepsy and even for the specific surgery Dominic had. Knowing we exist and we’ve found each other gives a sense of camaraderie. 

BLOOM: Did you learn practical things you couldn’t learn from a professional?

Jennifer Nunes: Yes. Someone would say ‘I’m noticing shoes that work well with an AFO and this is where you can get them.’ Or people would talk about advocacy and navigating education. That’s been my biggest hurdle.

A lot of parents like myself struggle with being confrontational because we don’t want our child to be ostracized. I feel like I’m at battle every time I ask for something for my kid that any neurotypical kid doesn’t need. Staff see his wrist brace and AFO but what they don’t see are the vision loss and his processing speed.

BLOOM: You wrote that it’s important for parents to acknowledge their emotions during a medical crisis. Is it a matter of saying ‘I feel angry?’ or ‘I feel helpless?’

Jennifer Nunes: Yes, ‘I feel angry and that’s okay.’ I write about a conversation with my husband when I was crying because I didn’t want to go back to Bloorview for a second stay. I didn’t want to shower in a shower that other people use. Or have people walking into our room all night. I didn’t want to live in hospital during Covid and be away from my daughter. I hated the idea. I had to give myself space that this sucks.

And yet, at the same time, I know I have to do it, and I’m choosing to do it. I’m so grateful I have the opportunity to go to a world-renowned hospital. It’s allowing the space for both truths versus just living in one or the other.

BLOOM: You said you were afraid your emotions would consume you.

Jennifer Nunes: We worry that it’s a Pandora’s box, and once we open it, we’ll never be able to close it. But based on my training and experience, when we acknowledge the things we’re trying to avoid or fear, they become validated and normalized.

Think of us in a room talking. There’s a giant purple elephant. I could say ‘Don’t look at or think about the elephant,’ but both of us would probably be thinking about or looking at it.

Once we acknowledge the worry, the uncertainty, the anguish, we don’t need to focus our attention on it so much. It loses a bit of its power. We accept that it’s there, we acknowledge how much we don’t like it, and we can turn our attention to something we want to focus on.

BLOOM: In the book you ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist, and that therapist was helpful.

Jennifer Nunes: The number one indicator of successful therapy outcomes is not the type of therapy you do, it’s the fit between therapist and client. When I meet a new client, I tell them ‘I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and you need to be comfortable with who you’re talking to.’ If you do one or two sessions and the chemistry isn’t there, it’s my job to help you find someone that is a good fit.

Parents often feel like they don’t have permission to try different therapists. I’ve had three to four therapists over five years and they all had benefits. You have to find someone you can grow with over the long term. You wouldn’t buy a pair of jeans before trying on a few to see if they fit okay. It’s the same with therapists.

Journaling is something else I found helpful. I would write something down like ‘I forgive myself. I give myself permission to feel all the feelings today. And I choose to focus on joy.’ 

Movement and exercise can be medicinal. In 2020 I was under so much stress that I would exercise and then when I reached maximum heart rate, I would burst into tears, with a freaky sounding cry. I had no control over it, and didn’t know what was going on. My therapist said it was primal: Your cortisol is gone and you’re allowing yourself to fall apart. I felt a sense of relief afterwards.

BLOOM: You write about something called intentional acceptance. What is that?

Jennifer Nunes: It’s acknowledging that something sucks and there are things we need to grieve, and accepting that it is what it is. And choosing to focus attention on any joy we can find. I started a gratitude practice where you think of three things you’re grateful for each day. It could be ‘I got 3 sips of coffee while it was hot.’ Or ‘I’m grateful the day is over and it’s bedtime.’ We need to train the brain to find the good.

BLOOM: What kind of care from health professionals here did you find supportive?

Jennifer Nunes: Somebody that was willing to tell me like it is, good, bad or whatever. Someone who listened and validated what I was saying. And someone who felt like they were on our team. 

I have a memory of that. The last time we came to Bloorview we got a discharge date that was based on policy. As soon as I heard the date, I knew there was no chance my son would be ready then. He just had major brain surgery. So I shared that in a meeting and afterwards certain therapists came up and thanked me for speaking up. They said when parents don’t speak up, it’s harder for the therapist to advocate. It really felt like we were on the same team. There was a feeling of allyship.

BLOOM: What could we do better? 

Jennifer Nunes: It may seem like a small thing, but when your child has a brain injury they talk about how sleep is so critical for the healing brain, yet it was challenging to have a room with someone that was on a similar sleep schedule. Or when we had a private room I would put a sign on the door that said ”Baby sleeping, please don’t knock but you can come in,’ but sometimes having people respect that was a challenge. 

I think there could be more support helping parents prepare for the advocacy they’re going to have to do when they leave Bloorview. Bloorview is an amazing place. It’s very safe, no one is judging your kid for having a disability, and everything is accessible. Then you go into the community and that’s not the way it is. So perhaps preparing parents better to be advocates. 

BLOOM: You benefited from talking to parents on the unit.

Jennifer Nunes: I would sit in the dark on my laptop every night until a couple of moms encouraged me to come out and connect, and that really made a difference. I recognized that I’m not alone. The dining room on the unit was fantastic as an important place for us to meet and sit and chat. Or in the playroom. There were communal spaces that were important and well utilized.  

BLOOM: You wrote about how your daughter experienced her own painful adjustment to her brother’s stroke. 

Jennifer Nunes: Trauma doesn’t just happen to one person. It happens to the whole family unit. This is why it comes back to us as parents to do the work and accept the spectrum of our emotions so we can create that kind of space for our kids. I found a book helpful called Sharing Love Abundantly in Special-Needs Families. The author talks about how it’s not about quantity when it comes to spending time with our kids, it’s about quality. So we don’t need to be with our kids 100 per cent of the time. But they need us to be present for the time we’re with them.

We need to recognize that there is no cure for this trauma. It’s not something we will get rid of. In that way it’s similar to grief. We learn to live with it. Trauma doesn’t go away, but we learn how to grow around it. As Gabor Maté says, it’s not the event, it’s what happened to your body as a result of that event. 

My therapist reminded me that this isn’t something that’s going to disappear because I’m ‘doing all the right things.’ Some days I’m going to have waves of emotion, and waves change. If the tide is out, some waves are really small. Some waves are tidal waves. But they always go back out into the ocean. So it’s learning to ride the waves versus trying to eradicate them. 

BLOOM: How has your experience as a parent of a child with a life-threatening condition influenced how you work as a therapist now?

Jennifer Nunes: Parents feel isolated and alone when going down this path, and unless you have lived experience, it’s hard to understand. I didn’t have the same perspective when I didn’t live it. I’d go home at 4:30 and live my life versus going home to continue the medical process with my child. When I tell a client I have a child with special needs, without disclosing any details, they’ll say ‘I want to work with someone who gets it.’ 

BLOOM: You called the book ‘Making It To Monday’ and that initially refers to your first weekend in hospital with Dominic, where you didn’t know if he would survive. Do you ever use that idea as a coping strategy in other ways?

Jennifer Nunes: It’s two-fold. Yes, Making It To Monday was about our original trajectory. I also follow a positive psychology model. We spend so much time trying to get to the end of Friday, or thinking ‘I’ll be happy when I’m successful,’ when we know that the inverse is true. We need to get happy with the effort and not the output. But more than that, we need to celebrate ‘starting.’ Dominic’s journey is not over but I don’t focus on the end result. I don’t have control over what happens at the end. But I can make it to Monday and find a way to enjoy where I am and what’s coming.

Like this story? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter. You’ll get family stories and expert advice on raising children with disabilities; interviews with activists, clinicians and researchers; and disability news.

Photo of Jennifer Nunes (left) with son Dominic

By Louise Kinross

When Jennifer Nunes put her son Dominic to bed one night in 2018, he was a happy, healthy baby. So she was terrified to find herself riding in an ambulance with him the next morning. He’d suffered a severe stroke. Making It To Monday is Jennifer’s memoir about how she and her family coped. Dominic was hospitalized for rehab at Holland Bloorview twice—first after his initial stroke and then after a major brain surgery. In a bid to stop what had become uncontrollable seizures, one hemisphere of his brain was detached from the other. We talked about how Jennifer, who is a social worker, found herself on the receiving end of care.

BLOOM: Who did you write this book for?

Jennifer Nunes: I wrote this book for any parent or caregiver that was going through a difficult time. When I was at Bloorview I went to the library and looked for a book that would be authentic and honest about the darkness and the fear, but which would also give me hope to hold onto, from the parent perspective. I couldn’t find anything. So I decided I would write it, and maybe we could make meaning from why this happened, and also help other people. 

BLOOM: You had worked as a hospital social worker. What was it like to be on the receiving end of care?

Jennifer Nunes: My husband doesn’t work in health care so it was an interesting dynamic. I had an advantage in that I had a knowledge of the language and some of the terms and even the physical space seemed more familiar to me. Where it was a drawback was where I knew too much and made assumptions very quickly that maybe weren’t emotionally helpful to me. I remember early on we were pulled into a side meeting with a doctor and a nurse practitioner and a social worker and I thought: ‘Oh God, they’re going to tell us he may die.’ Because I remembered having those meetings with families.

BLOOM: Tell us a bit about Dominic now.

Jennifer Nunes: He’s five years old and in senior kindergarten. He loves anything that moves: cars, trucks, trains, airplanes. He loves building things with Magna Tiles. He plays with his sister and is very social. He loves to go for walks outside and be in nature. Throwing rocks in the water is one of his favourite things. He’s talking and he uses an ankle-foot orthosis and a wrist splint. 

He had left-sided weakness after his stroke, and that increased a bit after his brain surgery. He also has no field of vision left of centre in both eyes, as a result of the surgery. So his picture of the world stops at his nose. His acuity for seeing things far away is great, but he has a very narrow field of vision. It makes it challenging in the community if someone’s walking on his left side or if he’s in an unfamiliar place. If he doesn’t see something on the left he’ll walk into it. Now we make sure he’s scanning his environment.

BLOOM: Turning his head to pull more into his vision?

Jennifer Nunes: Yes. His vision loss also impacts his processing speed because listening to something and scanning the room at the same time takes more energy. Before he wouldn’t say anything but now we’re helping him advocate for himself. If someone asks him a question and he has trouble word-finding he may say ‘I’m thinking,’ or ‘Give me a minute.’

BLOOM: You went through repeated traumas. What period was most challenging as a mom?

Jennifer Nunes: There were different periods of time that were extremely challenging, but in different ways. The stroke was a shock. There was no warning. That was horrific and terrifying.

The seizures started without warning, but it wasn’t as abrupt as they didn’t impact his functioning immediately. They grew worse over time. It was a different kind of hard because we went in with our eyes open. I could research and find out about the hemispherectomy surgery, and I knew Bloorview from our first stay. The difficulty was we were exhausted. What scared me later on was what if this surgery doesn’t work to stop the seizures? What if it isn’t effective? Making that decision was really hard.

BLOOM: What strategies helped you cope with such extreme situations?

Jennifer Nunes: The biggest thing I learned from my son’s stroke and hemispherectomy was I needed to let stuff go. I was a very Type A person and I liked to do things myself. If I asked for help I thought it meant I can’t do it. I had to change that mindset, which was so detrimental to my own wellbeing. I had to allow myself to accept help from others. If someone said ‘Can I do your laundry?’ or ”Can I bring dinner?’ I had to say ‘Yes,’ because I was so tired and scared and all of my energy was focused on my child. If you have help, accept it.

The other thing that was really helpful was I didn’t waste any time in getting connected with the online parent community. The downfall of that is that you hear everyone’s stories, and sometimes there isn’t a happy ending. But there’s a benefit to knowing we’re not alone. I found Facebook groups for hemiplegia and stroke and pediatric epilepsy and even for the specific surgery Dominic had. Knowing we exist and we’ve found each other gives a sense of camaraderie. 

BLOOM: Did you learn practical things you couldn’t learn from a professional?

Jennifer Nunes: Yes. Someone would say ‘I’m noticing shoes that work well with an AFO and this is where you can get them.’ Or people would talk about advocacy and navigating education. That’s been my biggest hurdle.

A lot of parents like myself struggle with being confrontational because we don’t want our child to be ostracized. I feel like I’m at battle every time I ask for something for my kid that any neurotypical kid doesn’t need. Staff see his wrist brace and AFO but what they don’t see are the vision loss and his processing speed.

BLOOM: You wrote that it’s important for parents to acknowledge their emotions during a medical crisis. Is it a matter of saying ‘I feel angry?’ or ‘I feel helpless?’

Jennifer Nunes: Yes, ‘I feel angry and that’s okay.’ I write about a conversation with my husband when I was crying because I didn’t want to go back to Bloorview for a second stay. I didn’t want to shower in a shower that other people use. Or have people walking into our room all night. I didn’t want to live in hospital during Covid and be away from my daughter. I hated the idea. I had to give myself space that this sucks.

And yet, at the same time, I know I have to do it, and I’m choosing to do it. I’m so grateful I have the opportunity to go to a world-renowned hospital. It’s allowing the space for both truths versus just living in one or the other.

BLOOM: You said you were afraid your emotions would consume you.

Jennifer Nunes: We worry that it’s a Pandora’s box, and once we open it, we’ll never be able to close it. But based on my training and experience, when we acknowledge the things we’re trying to avoid or fear, they become validated and normalized.

Think of us in a room talking. There’s a giant purple elephant. I could say ‘Don’t look at or think about the elephant,’ but both of us would probably be thinking about or looking at it.

Once we acknowledge the worry, the uncertainty, the anguish, we don’t need to focus our attention on it so much. It loses a bit of its power. We accept that it’s there, we acknowledge how much we don’t like it, and we can turn our attention to something we want to focus on.

BLOOM: In the book you ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist, and that therapist was helpful.

Jennifer Nunes: The number one indicator of successful therapy outcomes is not the type of therapy you do, it’s the fit between therapist and client. When I meet a new client, I tell them ‘I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and you need to be comfortable with who you’re talking to.’ If you do one or two sessions and the chemistry isn’t there, it’s my job to help you find someone that is a good fit.

Parents often feel like they don’t have permission to try different therapists. I’ve had three to four therapists over five years and they all had benefits. You have to find someone you can grow with over the long term. You wouldn’t buy a pair of jeans before trying on a few to see if they fit okay. It’s the same with therapists.

Journaling is something else I found helpful. I would write something down like ‘I forgive myself. I give myself permission to feel all the feelings today. And I choose to focus on joy.’ 

Movement and exercise can be medicinal. In 2020 I was under so much stress that I would exercise and then when I reached maximum heart rate, I would burst into tears, with a freaky sounding cry. I had no control over it, and didn’t know what was going on. My therapist said it was primal: Your cortisol is gone and you’re allowing yourself to fall apart. I felt a sense of relief afterwards.

BLOOM: You write about something called intentional acceptance. What is that?

Jennifer Nunes: It’s acknowledging that something sucks and there are things we need to grieve, and accepting that it is what it is. And choosing to focus attention on any joy we can find. I started a gratitude practice where you think of three things you’re grateful for each day. It could be ‘I got 3 sips of coffee while it was hot.’ Or ‘I’m grateful the day is over and it’s bedtime.’ We need to train the brain to find the good.

BLOOM: What kind of care from health professionals here did you find supportive?

Jennifer Nunes: Somebody that was willing to tell me like it is, good, bad or whatever. Someone who listened and validated what I was saying. And someone who felt like they were on our team. 

I have a memory of that. The last time we came to Bloorview we got a discharge date that was based on policy. As soon as I heard the date, I knew there was no chance my son would be ready then. He just had major brain surgery. So I shared that in a meeting and afterwards certain therapists came up and thanked me for speaking up. They said when parents don’t speak up, it’s harder for the therapist to advocate. It really felt like we were on the same team. There was a feeling of allyship.

BLOOM: What could we do better? 

Jennifer Nunes: It may seem like a small thing, but when your child has a brain injury they talk about how sleep is so critical for the healing brain, yet it was challenging to have a room with someone that was on a similar sleep schedule. Or when we had a private room I would put a sign on the door that said ”Baby sleeping, please don’t knock but you can come in,’ but sometimes having people respect that was a challenge. 

I think there could be more support helping parents prepare for the advocacy they’re going to have to do when they leave Bloorview. Bloorview is an amazing place. It’s very safe, no one is judging your kid for having a disability, and everything is accessible. Then you go into the community and that’s not the way it is. So perhaps preparing parents better to be advocates. 

BLOOM: You benefited from talking to parents on the unit.

Jennifer Nunes: I would sit in the dark on my laptop every night until a couple of moms encouraged me to come out and connect, and that really made a difference. I recognized that I’m not alone. The dining room on the unit was fantastic as an important place for us to meet and sit and chat. Or in the playroom. There were communal spaces that were important and well utilized.  

BLOOM: You wrote about how your daughter experienced her own painful adjustment to her brother’s stroke. 

Jennifer Nunes: Trauma doesn’t just happen to one person. It happens to the whole family unit. This is why it comes back to us as parents to do the work and accept the spectrum of our emotions so we can create that kind of space for our kids. I found a book helpful called Sharing Love Abundantly in Special-Needs Families. The author talks about how it’s not about quantity when it comes to spending time with our kids, it’s about quality. So we don’t need to be with our kids 100 per cent of the time. But they need us to be present for the time we’re with them.

We need to recognize that there is no cure for this trauma. It’s not something we will get rid of. In that way it’s similar to grief. We learn to live with it. Trauma doesn’t go away, but we learn how to grow around it. As Gabor Maté says, it’s not the event, it’s what happened to your body as a result of that event. 

My therapist reminded me that this isn’t something that’s going to disappear because I’m ‘doing all the right things.’ Some days I’m going to have waves of emotion, and waves change. If the tide is out, some waves are really small. Some waves are tidal waves. But they always go back out into the ocean. So it’s learning to ride the waves versus trying to eradicate them. 

BLOOM: How has your experience as a parent of a child with a life-threatening condition influenced how you work as a therapist now?

Jennifer Nunes: Parents feel isolated and alone when going down this path, and unless you have lived experience, it’s hard to understand. I didn’t have the same perspective when I didn’t live it. I’d go home at 4:30 and live my life versus going home to continue the medical process with my child. When I tell a client I have a child with special needs, without disclosing any details, they’ll say ‘I want to work with someone who gets it.’ 

BLOOM: You called the book ‘Making It To Monday’ and that initially refers to your first weekend in hospital with Dominic, where you didn’t know if he would survive. Do you ever use that idea as a coping strategy in other ways?

Jennifer Nunes: It’s two-fold. Yes, Making It To Monday was about our original trajectory. I also follow a positive psychology model. We spend so much time trying to get to the end of Friday, or thinking ‘I’ll be happy when I’m successful,’ when we know that the inverse is true. We need to get happy with the effort and not the output. But more than that, we need to celebrate ‘starting.’ Dominic’s journey is not over but I don’t focus on the end result. I don’t have control over what happens at the end. But I can make it to Monday and find a way to enjoy where I am and what’s coming.

Like this story? Sign up for our monthly BLOOM e-letter. You’ll get family stories and expert advice on raising children with disabilities; interviews with activists, clinicians and researchers; and disability news.

With Easter just days away, Lent is almost over, and I’m sorry I didn’t get this posted sooner. But here are a bunch of low cost or free activities to do with your family if you’re observing Lent, and honestly, most of them are also great any time even for people who don’t observing Lent.

But, before we go through our recommended activities, what is this season really all about?

Start by talking to your kids about what they might want to write in their journals. Ask them questions like: What are your hopes for this Lenten season? How do you feel about giving something up for Lent? What have been the most difficult things about Lent for you so far? Encourage them to think deeply and express themselves honestly. If you run out of ideas to write about, use this list of 75 journal prompts for kids.

You can even make journaling into a family activity by creating a “Lenten journal” together. Have everyone contribute a page of thoughts, prayers, drawings, or whatever else they want to include. This can be an opportunity for meaningful conversations and lasting memories as well as a nice way to document the family’s journey through Lent.

Cooking Projects

Lent is a great time for kids to explore their culinary skills. Invite them to help with meal prepping and creating snacks. This will teach them the basics of cooking, while sparking their creativity. For example, they can make simple dishes like omelets, sandwiches, pizzas and salads together. They can also take it up a notch by learning how to bake cakes and cookies.

Get creative with the ingredients you use. Incorporate vegetables into recipes that your kids may not usually eat. Show them how versatile fruits and vegetables can be when used in different recipes. You could even teach them how to make healthy versions of junk food like fries, burgers or tacos.

Help your kids get involved in grocery shopping too! Take them along on your next trip to the store so that they can pick out their own ingredients and learn more about nutrition labels. Try to find local produce whenever possible and talk to your children about where it comes from and why it’s important to shop locally grown food.

Family Movie Night

Family movie night is a great way to spend time together during Lent. It’s cheap, and you don’t have to leave the house! Pop some popcorn, grab your favorite snacks and drinks, and settle in for a cozy night. Let your kids pick out their favorite movie – it doesn’t even have to be religious! They can pick something funny or a classic they enjoy.

Take the time during the movie to talk about what you’re seeing on screen. Ask questions like “What do you think will happen next?” or “Why do you think that character made that decision?” This encourages critical thinking and gets everyone involved in the story. It also offers an opportunity to discuss values like courage, sacrifice, or kindness that may feature in the narrative.

Afterwards, let each family member share their favorite part of the movie and why they liked it. You can also talk about how this relates back to Lenten themes such as repentance or charity if appropriate. Taking the time for these conversations strengthens relationships between family members and helps them grow closer together. All of this without breaking the bank!

Educational Games & Projects

One of the best ways to keep your kids entertained during Lent is by engaging them in educational games and projects. There are a ton of free and cheap resources available online that can be used to keep your children occupied. From virtual field trips to creating DIY art projects, there’s something for every child. Depending on the age and interest of your child, you can customize activities to fit their needs.

For younger kids, there are plenty of interactive games that help teach basic concepts like math, science, and reading comprehension. These games can be downloaded onto computers or mobile devices and are usually very affordable. Older kids might enjoy trying out virtual experiments or exploring different cultures through travel-based activities. With the right resources, these activities can be both fun and educational at the same time.

No matter what kind of activity you choose for your child during Lent, it’s important to make sure they understand that learning is still happening even when it looks like playtime. Encouraging them to think critically about new ideas and express themselves creatively will help build their confidence as well as their overall academic skill set over time.

Storytelling & Poetry Reading

Another way to keep your kids entertained and engaged during Lent is by engaging in storytelling and poetry reading. Storytelling is a great way to stimulate imagination, creativity, and language development.

Through storytelling, kids can explore different worlds, characters, and situations that they may not otherwise experience. Poetry reading can help children develop an appreciation for literature as well as develop their own writing skills. Reading poetry together can also be a bonding experience with your child.

Start by picking out stories or poems that resonate with your child’s interests or age level. You can find free resources online like short stories, fairy tales, classic novels or poems from famous poets. There are also great books filled with stories specifically designed to inspire young minds. Once you have the story or poem picked out, try to make it interactive by asking questions about the story and discussing the characters’ motivations or emotions. You can also encourage your kid to create their own story based on what they’ve heard or read!

By creating a special storytelling or poetry reading session for them every day during Lent, you will be providing your child with quality time while helping them expand their knowledge and creativity. It will become something they look forward to each day!

Gardening Projects


Gardening projects are a great way to spend quality time with your kids during Lent. Not only will it bring out the creative side of them, but you can also teach them about nature and how to take care of plants. And it doesn’t have to be expensive either! You can start small with some herb or vegetable seeds, or even just some houseplants. All you need is a pot, soil, and a sunny spot.

Once you’ve got the basics down, you can let your kids pick out the types of plants they want to grow. Whether it’s flowers, fruits, or vegetables – make sure they understand the importance of watering regularly and giving it enough sunlight. And don’t forget that gardening is an ongoing process – there’s always something new to learn each season!

If your kids are getting bored of gardening at home, take them out for a hike in the woods and show them how different plants look in their natural habitats. Seeing all the different species in their own environment will help your kids appreciate its beauty even more.

Board Games & Puzzles


Moving on from gardening projects, board games and puzzles are a great way to entertain and engage kids during the Lenten season. These activities can be done at home or in the backyard and provide a fun, interactive experience that allows parents to bond with their children. With a variety of available options, it’s easy to find something suitable for any age group.

Creative board games offer an educational opportunity as well as entertainment. Games such as Scrabble, Yahtzee, Monopoly, and Clue let children practice skills like problem-solving, strategy-building, counting money, and basic math. Additionally they help develop social skills like communication and teamwork while allowing them to have fun with family members.

Puzzles come in many shapes and sizes so there is something for everyone. Jigsaw puzzles are especially good for young children as they help improve hand-eye coordination and visual perception skills.

For older kids, 3D puzzles are available which require more concentration and skill to build. They’re great for building problem solving abilities as well as patience! No matter what age your child is, board games and puzzles can make for an enjoyable activity during Lent that won’t break the bank.

Scavenger Hunts


Scavenger hunts can be a great way to keep kids entertained during Lent. They provide hours of excitement and exploration, allowing children to engage with the world around them in imaginative ways. Scavenger hunts can be tailored to any age group and offer endless possibilities for fun.

Local Attractions & Events


Local attractions and events offer a great way to entertain your kids during Lent. Many churches host events for families to enjoy, such as potluck suppers or movies. You can also find other fun activities at local libraries, parks, and community centers. These events often don’t cost anything, but they do require some research ahead of time to make sure you know what’s available.

Most cities also have plenty of free or low-cost attractions that are great for entertaining kids during Lent. Take them to the zoo or a museum, or explore the outdoors with a nature walk or hike in a nearby park. If your budget allows, you can also look into visiting an amusement park or theater performance.

Conclusion


Lent is a great time to spend quality time with your family, and there are plenty of fun and inexpensive activities you can do with your kids. Whether it’s taking a nature walk, creating a craft project, or going on an outing to a local attraction, there are lots of ways to make the most of Lent.

It’s important to remember that Lent is not just about giving up things; it’s also about spending time with loved ones and reflecting on the importance of faith. By taking advantage of some free or low-cost activities, you can make this Lenten season extra special for everyone in your family. And if all else fails, a game night never hurt anyone!

So take some time during this Lenten season to connect with your children and create memories that will last a lifetime. It doesn’t have to cost anything at all — just use your imagination and get creative! With some patience and planning, you can have an unforgettable Lenten experience with your kids that will stay with them forever.

Sharks are fascinating creatures that have captured the imagination of people for centuries. With their sleek bodies and sharp teeth, they are often portrayed as fierce predators. However, there is much more to these creatures than meets the eye. Here are 5 surprising shark facts that you may not know.

5 Surprising Shark Facts that you may not know!

Sharks have been around for over 400 million years

Sharks are one of the oldest species on the planet, with fossils dating back over 400 million years. This means that sharks have been around longer than trees, dinosaurs, and even some forms of life on Earth. Despite their long history, sharks have evolved and adapted to their environment, making them one of the most successful predators in the ocean.

Some sharks can swim up to 60 miles per hour – Shark Facts

While not all sharks are fast swimmers, some species can reach incredible speeds. The shortfin mako shark, for example, can swim up to 60 miles per hour, making it the fastest shark in the world. This incredible speed allows them to catch fast-moving prey like tuna and swordfish. Other fast-swimming sharks include the great white shark, the blue shark, and the blacktip shark

Sharks have a sixth sense called electroreception

Sharks have a unique ability to detect electrical fields in the water, which is known as electroreception. They have special organs called ampullae of Lorenzini that can sense the electrical signals given off by other animals, including their prey. This sixth sense helps sharks locate their prey even in murky waters or when they are hidden from view. Some species of sharks, like the hammerhead shark, have a more developed electroreception system than others.

Sharks can go into a trance-like state called tonic immobility

Tonic immobility is a state of paralysis that some sharks can enter when they are turned upside down. This can happen when they are caught by fishermen or attacked by other predators. The shark will become still and appear to be in a trance-like state, which can last for several minutes. Scientists believe that this may be a defense mechanism that helps the shark avoid further harm. However, not all species of sharks are susceptible to tonic immobility.

Not all sharks are dangerous to humans – Shark Facts

While some species of sharks, such as the great white shark, have been known to attack humans, not all sharks are dangerous to humans. Most species of sharks are harmless and will not attack humans unless provoked. Some species, like the whale shark, are even known to be friendly and curious around humans. It’s important to remember that sharks play a vital role in the ocean ecosystem and should be respected and protected.

Also Read: 25+ Famous Shooting Star Quotes For Free

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Should you consume pears during pregnancy? A pear isn’t one of the many foods a pregnant woman should avoid. Consuming a pear while pregnant is a healthy and safe option. The vitamin, mineral, and other nutrient content of pears is high. In this piece, I’ll go over in detail the reasons why eating pears during pregnancy is a good idea.

Can I Eat Pears During Pregnancy?

When pregnant, is it safe to eat pears? Pears are safe for pregnant women to eat, in general. Pears, like all other fruits and vegetables, should be washed thoroughly before being consumed. You should also think twice before eating a very ripe pear while pregnant, as it may comprise bacteria that could be harmful to the developing baby.

Pears are an excellent choice if you’re pregnant and looking to add more fruit to your diet. Just make sure to thoroughly wash them and stay away from overly ripe pears.

Persimmons are good for you while you’re expecting. Are you pregnant and in search of some tasty and healthy fruit to eat? If so, pears are a healthy option during pregnancy.

Advantages of Eating Pears During Pregnancy

Some Advantages are as follows:

• There may be some benefits to eating pears while pregnant due to their high fiber, vitamin C, and potassium content. They are ideal for pregnant women to consume because of their low caloric content and high nutritional value.
• You and your baby’s developing heart can benefit from the vitamin C in pears.
• Constipation is a major problem that many pregnant women face, and the fiber in pears can help.
• Pear fruit is rich in antioxidants, which protect cells from damage and promote cell regeneration, making it a healthy choice to eat during pregnancy.

Disadvantages of Eating Pears While Pregnant

There are some things to keep in mind when eating pears during pregnancy, even though they are delicious and nutritious fruit.

• Sorbitol, a compound found in pears, can give some people the runs. Pregnant women are more susceptible to dehydration and diarrhea, so this can be a problem for them. Be sure to replenish your fluids after eating pears, as they can cause dehydration.
• Exposure to pesticides is another problem with eating pears while pregnant. Due to their susceptibility to pesticide spraying, pears should be washed thoroughly before being consumed. To avoid this risk, you can also purchase organic pears.
• The sugar content of pears is relatively high. Sugar itself is not harmful, but consuming excessive amounts of it may increase your chance of developing gestational diabetes. Pear consumption should be limited in high-risk pregnant women to reduce the likelihood of developing gestational diabetes (and other sugary fruits).
• Finally, remember to keep your pear consumption moderate. Sorbitol has a laxative effect, so consuming too much of it can cause stomach cramps. In addition, pregnant women should eat a wide variety of other healthy fruits and vegetables.
• The number of pears a pregnant woman should eat is unknown.
• Due to its high nutrient density and low caloric load, pear fruit is recommended during pregnancy. Expectant mothers should eat one to two medium-sized pears daily. Overdosing on pears, which have a laxative effect, can cause diarrhea.

When and how should I buy a pear?

Ensure the pears you purchase are crisp and free of any spots that could indicate rot. If the pears aren’t quite ripe yet, leave them out on the counter. Keep in mind that if a pear is too ripe (to the point where it is becoming mushy), it should be thrown away. If you want your pears to last longer, you should put them in a paper or plastic bag and keep them in the fridge.

How Far Along in your Pregnancy should you Start Eating Pears?

While pregnant, pears can be eaten raw. They go great in fruit bowls, on their own, or with a dollop of peanut butter or hummus. Pear sauces, made from boiled pears that have been pureed, are a wonderful wintertime addition to bread and cakes. However, long cooking times deplete pears of many of their beneficial nutrients. Therefore, it is generally advised to consume them in their natural state.

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The second annual Fountain Inn Italian Festival is on Saturday, April 29th, 2023. Are you thinking about attending the festival? We have the schedule, the vendors, and all the details you need to plan your day to have an incredible time at the Italian-American Heritage Festival.

About the Italian-American Heritage Festival in Fountain Inn, SC

The quick facts:

• Saturday, April 29th, 2023 from 12 pm to 6 pm
• Main Street, Fountain Inn
• Free Admission

This Italian-American Heritage Festival was a huge success for its inaugural year in 2022. This year’s festival seems to be giving the same amount of excitement, if not, more. There will be music, food, drinks, shopping from vendors, and activities. Last year there was a 50/50 raffle, corn hole tournament, and even a spaghetti eating contest! We’re so excited to see what 2023 holds—the committee says it will be bigger and better!

2022 Entertainment and Demonstrations Schedule (2023’s schedule has not been released)

12 pm: Opening Ceremony
12:30 pm: Opera, John Shorter
1 pm: Chef Kevin: How to make fresh ricotta and cavatelli
1:30 pm: ballet, to include traditional Italian dances
2:30 pm: Italian Songs, John Shorter
2:30 pm: Chef Fred: How to make Braciole with meat sauce
2:30 to 5:30 pm: Corn hole tournament and other games
3:15 pm: Folk Music, Ashlyn Greene
4 pm: Chef Kevin: How to make Sicilian Maccarruna and Marinara
4:30 pm: DJ Mike Guiliano
6 pm: John Shorter/ Mike Philip
6:15pm: Spaghetti Eating Contest
7:40 pm: Closing speech

Sign up for Events

Want to show the Upstate how much spaghetti you can eat, or show off your corn hole skills? You need to sign up in advance.

Spaghetti eating contest: How fast can you eat 1/2 lb of spaghetti with marinara? Email Chuck at [email protected] to enter. The winner will receive a $25 Gift Card.

Corn hole tournament: Sign up for the cornhole tournament online.

Fountain Inn Italian Festival Map

Find a brochure with a festival map on the Italian Festival Facebook page. (Not released for 2023 yet)

Vendor Shopping and Food at the Festival

Good Italian food is not always easy to find in the south, and that’s just one of the things that will make this festival unique.

Check out the vendors that plan to set up at the festival, and do yourself a favor, make sure to get a pastry from Gio’s Pastry Shop.

Food Vendors at the Italian-American Festival

• Bada Bing Pizzeria- NY Style Pizza
• Street Pizza-Roman Style Pizza and Calzones
• Cucina Del Borgo- Roast Pork Sandwiches
• Upstate Grower’s Market- Sausage & Peppers
• The Scouts- Eggplant Parm and Meatballs
• Larrio’s Doggie Wagon- Hot Dogs
• Cucina 100- Pizza, Beer/Wine
• Fountain Inn Taproom- Parm Sliders, Beer/Wine
• Sully Steamer’s-Pizza and Italian Steamers
• MooHogz- Hot Italian Beef Sandwiches
• IACG- Cold Cut Heros, Zeppole
• Gio’s Pastry & Italian Market– Arancini, Cannoli & more
• Cakes to Dye For-Cakes & Sweets
• Robin’s Just Desserts-Macarons
• AP Jumbo Funnel Cakes- Funnel Cakes, Popcorn & More
• Bucks Hot Nutz-Nuts
• Sweet Dreams by Lori- Cupcakes, Cakes & More
• Kona Ice-Shaved Ice
• Palmetto Olive Oil & Vinegar- flavored oils and vinegars

Vendors to Shop at the Italian-American Heritage Festival

• 864 Design Company
• Braceland Boutique
• Color Street
• Crazy Eye Art & Design
• Creative Chic
• Crochet by Angela
• Delsasa Designs
• Dynamic Reproducer (Mattia’s Table)
• Emily’s Rock Garden
• Hallie Smith Ceramics
• Meli J’s Boutique
• Miss Bee Haven Honey Bones
• Paula’s Crafty Creations
• Que Lynda Designs
• Slay The Clay
• Soaps By Lela
• Tina’s Stained Glass Treasures
• Truly Simple Dog Treats
• Vdovichenko Bee Farm
• Zens Boutique Designs

Bobby’s BBQ in Fountain Inn, SC Will Have You Begging For Seconds

If your cupboards require a change, you can only replace the entries, not the whole unit. Getting an entirely new appliance is far costlier than getting new doors. In fact, it is one of the best ways to give your kitchen a new and fresh look while staying within your budget. High gloss kitchen doors are one of the best options, particularly for a family with children. They’re stain-resistant and easy to clean by wiping them with a damp cloth, so not even the little ones can harm them.

Second-hand items

There are many advantages to buying second-hand, and the most prominent one is that you get the same (if not better) items for a significantly smaller price tag. The only important thing is to look for pieces that have maintained their quality despite their age. Buying something damaged, even though the issues might appear slight, can mean you’ll have to replace it sooner than expected.

Buying used furnishings, rugs or kitchen items is particularly great if you’re a lover of all things vintage. Depending on their age, many items come with the additional benefit of retro-era craftsmanship. The materials used can be more durable, and the designs may be more elaborate. You might even find some genuinely unique items that’ll make your kitchen stand out.

Buying pre-owned items is also more eco-friendly, so by making this choice, you also help the planet and reduce pollution, even if only by a small fraction. However, all action taken towards helping reduce the effects of climate change and protect the environment is more than welcome. In the past, people used to hold on to their objects for much longer than nowadays. Things would get reused all the time, and throwing something away was done after much careful deliberation. This means that objects were also much more forgiving when it came to betterment work so that you can repair, redesign and repaint them however you’d like, and they’ll still look great.

Affordable flooring

When you’re working on a rather limited budget, all choices you make must be well informed. You don’t want to splurge in one area and be left with little else to handle all the other parts of the process. One of the places where you’re likely to spend the most is the kitchen floor. It makes sense why since it is a large area and the materials are usually expensive. Since the kitchen is also one of the rooms that see the most extensive amount of wear and tear, you want to opt for something that’s practical and can handle heavy foot traffic but also be resistant to spills, stains and falling pots and pans. There are few things as bothersome as dents in the floors.

However, since you have a family, you’ll also want to choose something that provides good insulation and can help regulate temperatures during summer and wintertime. Moreover, you want to be careful that your choice of flooring isn’t extra slippery, as trips and falls on a floor can be particularly hazardous given the lack of cushioning. Some of the best options include:

• Cork: An easy-to-install material, cork is resistant to dents, as the material tends to spring back in place if left alone. It also absorbs sound, and you can install it on your own without additional help. Its only disadvantage, however, is that it is pretty vulnerable to direct sunlight, so if your kitchen is particularly sunny, you should steer clear of this option.
• Laminate: One of the best things about laminate is that it looks expensive since it mimics hardwood but is actually much more affordable. Same as with cork, you can install it on your own. Depending on whether there’s a finish or not, laminate can also be waterproof.
• Vinyl: Since it can imitate any other material, from tiles and stone to wood, vinyl is also a great option. It is fully waterproof. However, it is more susceptible to scratches and other types of damage.

When searching for the best ways to redesign your kitchen on a budget, you might have a little more looking around to do. However, if you’re patient, you’ll discover some real gems that’ll genuinely change the look of your entire household.

The baby boomer generation is one of the most influential and culturally significant generations in modern history. Born between 1946 and 1964, this generation experienced a world of significant social, political, and economic changes that would shape the modern world.

With their large numbers and unique experiences, the baby boomers left a lasting impact on the world. They transformed society in ways that are still felt today.

In this article, we will explore the story of this cohort and the legacy it continues to leave behind.

The birth of the Baby Boomer generation

The baby boomer generation was born in the aftermath of World War II, a time of great optimism and hope for the future. The war had brought an end to the Great Depression, and the world was poised for a new era of prosperity and growth.

As soldiers returned home from the war, they started families and contributed to a massive demographic shift. This greatly defined the post-war era.

Boomers were born into a world of relative peace and prosperity, but they would change a lot of these.

The challenges of the Post-World War II era

Despite the relative prosperity of the post-war era, the baby boomers faced numerous challenges as they grew up. Many of their parents were still recovering from the trauma of the war, and the children of these soldiers were often left to fend for themselves.

The baby boomers grew up in a world where traditional values were being challenged. They often found themselves at odds with the cultural norms of the previous generations

Additionally, the Boomers faced significant economic challenges. These included inflation, high unemployment, and a changing job market that required new skills and education.

The impact of the Baby Boomers on society

One of the most notable impacts of baby boomers is their large size. For this reason they have had significant cultural and political influence.

This generation has been a dominant force in the workforce, politics, and culture for several decades. It has shaped the world around it.

In terms of the economy, baby boomers have driven much of the growth and consumption patterns since the 1960s. As they entered the workforce and reached their peak earning years, they contributed to a period of economic expansion and prosperity.

This of course gave rise to greedy and mindless individuals. According to Forbes, the Baby Boomer cohort

became especially well-known for its cultivation of self and its carelessness about material wealth.

The Boom Generation

However, as they begin to retire, boomer impact on the economy is changing as well. They now draw on social security, healthcare, and other benefits.

In politics, baby boomers have been influential in shaping policy and social movements. They were a key part of the civil rights movement, the anti-war movement, and the feminist movement, among others.

They have also been active in politics, with many baby boomers holding high-ranking positions in government and running for office.

In terms of culture, baby boomers have had a significant impact on music, fashion, and entertainment. They were a major force in the development of rock and roll. Their fashion and lifestyle choices have influenced popular culture for several decades.

They were at the forefront of the civil rights and anti-war movements of the 1960s. They played a significant role in shaping popular culture through music, film, and literature.

Additionally, boomers were instrumental in driving economic growth and technological innovation. They contributedto the rise of the computer age and the growth of the service sector.

Cultural milestones of the Baby Boomer generation

The baby boomer generation was responsible for creating many cultural milestones that still resonate today. They pioneered the concept of youth culture, creating a new market for products and services targeted at young people.

They also played a significant role in shaping popular music, with artists like The Beatles, Bob Dylan, and Jimi Hendrix revolutionizing the industry.

The baby boomers also played a significant role in the development of the film industry. This is evident through movies such as Easy Rider and The Graduate. This challenged traditional Hollywood norms, paveing the way for a new era of independent cinema.

The legacy of the Baby Boomer generation

The legacy of the baby boomer generation is still being felt today. As they age, the baby boomers are contributing to significant changes in the healthcare and retirement industries.

They are also having an impact on politics, with their votes and political activism shaping policy decisions on a wide range of issues. These include healthcare, social security, and climate change.

Additionally, boomers are influencing the way we think about aging and retirement. Many individuals have chose to work well beyond the traditional retirement age.

FAQs:

Q: What is the baby boomer generation?

A: The baby boomer generation refers to individuals born between 1946 and 1964. This generation is known for its large size and its significant cultural, social, and economic impact on the world.

Q: What challenges did the baby boomers face?

A: The baby boomers faced a range of challenges, including economic instability, changing cultural norms, and shifting social values. Additionally, the baby boomers grew up during a time of significant political and social unrest, with many individuals becoming involved in civil rights and anti-war movements.

Q: What is the legacy of the baby boomer generation?

A: The legacy of the baby boomer generation is still being felt today. This generation has had a significant impact on culture, politics, and economics, contributing to the rise of youth culture, the development of the computer age, and the growth of the service sector. Additionally, the baby boomers are influencing the way we think about aging and retirement, with many individuals choosing to work well beyond the traditional retirement age.

Conclusion:

The baby boomer generation is a fascinating and complex era of modern history. This generation experienced significant social, economic, and cultural changes that would shape the world for decades to come.

Today, the legacy of the baby boomer generation is still being felt, with their influence continuing to shape the way we think about politics, economics, and aging.

Generation X defines a cohort born between 1965 and 1980, spanning a period of 15 years. The eldest of the cohort is 58 years old in 2023.

While parents of Xers were part of the post-World War II baby boom, the cohort itself was much smaller, sandwiched between the larger Baby Boomer and Millennial generations.

Members of Generation X experienced and continue to experience significant cultural and social shifts. This included the rise of technology, the emergence of MTV, tremendous cultural shifts, and the impact of the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Gulf War.

This group is often characterized as independent, skeptical, and adaptable, with a strong emphasis on work-life balance and personal fulfillment.

Xers are also regarded as the last generation to hold dear to pre-21st century culture, belief, and values. They are the last to understand the values that guided humanity before technology became the norm. They are actually the last cohort that can salvage the world from decay!

According to Vanity Fair,

Generation X, the last Americans schooled in the old manner, the last Americans that know how to fold a newspaper, take a joke, and listen to a dirty story without losing their minds.

As the world moves towards newer generations, it’s easy to overlook the contributions and characteristics of previous ones such as Generation X. It is often referred to as the “forgotten” generation, sandwiched between the Baby Boomers and Millennials.

In this article, we’ll explore the unique traits, values, and experiences of Generation X, and how they continue to shape society today.

Why are Xers regarded as the forgotten generation?

Generation X is often referred to as the “forgotten generation” because Xers are sandwiched between the larger, more well-known Baby Boomer and Millennial generations.

As a result, they are largely overlooked in discussions about generational cohorts, marketing strategies, and societal trends.

Another reason for this oversight is that Generation X is a smaller cohort in numbers compared to the Baby Boomers and Millennials. Xers also came of age during a time of economic uncertainty and political/social upheaval. This led to their sense of cynicism and skepticism that still defines them today.

This skepticism towards institutions and authority may also contribute to their being overlooked in discussions about generational differences.

Furthermore, the rise of the internet and social media led to a focus on Millennials as the “digital natives” and the primary target for marketing and advertising.

Despite being called the forgotten generation, Xers have many unique characteristics and values that are important to understand. As they continue to age and take on leadership roles in organizations and institutions, it is crucial to recognize and acknowledge their contributions and perspectives.

What Makes Generation X Unique?

Generation X was the first generation to experience the rise of technology and globalization. They were also the first generation to grow up in a time of economic uncertainty and job instability.

This left them with a sense of skepticism and cynicism.

They are the first users of computers:

While millennials are often considered the first digital natives, X was the first generation to grow up with personal computers and video games. They were also the first to use the internet in their daily lives, making them uniquely equipped to navigate the digital world.

They are independent and self-sufficient:

Growing up in a time of economic uncertainty, Xers learned to be self-sufficient and independent from an early age. They value hard work, individualism, and personal responsibility, and are less likely to rely on others for help.

They are skeptical and cynical:

Generation X grew up at a time of political and social upheaval, leading to a sense of skepticism and cynicism. They are less likely to trust institutions and authority figures and are more likely to question the status quo.

They are diverse and inclusive:

Generation X is the most diverse generation in history, with a mix of ethnicities and cultures that were largely absent in previous generations. They also tend to be more inclusive and accepting of diversity in all its forms.

They pioneered pop culture

Gen X is also defined by its relationship and love for music and ar. Xers actually pioneered pop culture as we know it today. They also grew up watching lots of TV soaps, and for this, have fond memories of ‘Friends‘ and other popular TV series.

Why is it important to understand Xers?

While Generation X is often overlooked, understanding them is essential for a few reasons:

They are the leaders of today:

Generation X is now in their 40s and 50s, meaning they are now the leaders of many organizations and institutions. Understanding their values, beliefs, and behaviors is crucial for working with them effectively.

They are the bridge between generations:

As the generation sandwiched between the Baby Boomers and Millennials, Generation X serves as a bridge between two very different generations. Understanding their unique perspective is essential for building bridges between these two groups.

They are the parents of tomorrow:

As parents, Generation X is raising the next generation of leaders and influencers. Understanding their values and beliefs is crucial for understanding the world that their children will grow up in.

Historical events that shaped this generation

Economic Changes:

Many Gen Xers experienced economic uncertainty and instability as they entered adulthood. The 1970s saw an economic downturn, and many Gen Xers entered the workforce during the recession of the early 1980s. This led to a sense of pessimism and a lack of trust in institutions.

Technological Advances:

Gen Xers were the first generation to grow up with personal computers, video games, and the internet. This exposure to technology has shaped their approach to work, communication, and socialization.

Shifting Family Dynamics:

Many Gen Xers grew up in households with two working parents or as latchkey kids, which had an impact on their independence and self-reliance. They also experienced an increase in divorce rates and a decline in traditional family values.

Cultural Changes:

Gen Xers came of age during a time of cultural upheaval, including the rise of punk rock and hip-hop music, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the end of the Cold War. This led to a sense of rebellion and a desire for authenticity.

Political Events:

Gen Xers witnessed political scandals such as Watergate and the Iran-Contra affair, as well as the rise of conservative politics in the 1980s. These events led to a distrust of politicians and government institutions.

Overall, these factors shaped Generation X into a pragmatic and resilient generation, marked by a desire for independence, self-reliance, and a sense of purpose.

Parents of Generation X

Parents of Xers are typically members of the Baby Boomer and Silent generations. Baby Boomers were so named due to the high birth rate following World War II, which led to a “boom” in population.

The parents of Generation X were raised in a time of significant social and cultural change, including the Civil Rights Movement, the rise of feminism, and the Vietnam War. Many Baby Boomers came of age during the 1960s counterculture and were known for their rejection of traditional values and their embrace of new forms of expression and lifestyles.

As parents, Baby Boomers were known for being more permissive than previous generations, encouraging their children to be independent and pursue their own goals.

However, they also faced criticism for being self-absorbed and focused on their own interests and careers at the expense of their families. Overall, the parenting styles of Baby Boomers had a significant impact on the values and attitudes of their children in Generation X.

Children of Generation X

The children of Generation X are typically members of the Millennial generation, Generation Y, and even Generation Alpha.

As children, Millennials grew up in a time of rapid technological change, with the rise of the internet, personal computers, and mobile devices. They were also raised in a time of significant social and economic change, including the globalization of the economy and the increasing diversity of society.

Millennials are known for being highly connected, with a strong reliance on technology for communication and social interaction. They are often characterized as being optimistic, idealistic, and socially conscious, with a strong emphasis on work-life balance and personal fulfillment.

The parenting styles of Generation X had a significant impact on the values and attitudes of their children in the Millennial generation. Generation X parents were often more hands-off than previous generations, encouraging their children to be independent and self-reliant.

This approach helped to shape the entrepreneurial spirit and self-sufficiency that is often associated with Millennials.

Generation Y, also known as millennials, refers to people born between 1980 and 1994. This generation came of age around the turn of the 21st century, and preceded Generation X, born between 1965 and 1979. They are succeeded by Generation Z, who were born between 1995 and 2009.

Millennials are a unique group of individuals with their own set of values, habits, and behavior. They are often associated with values such as diversity, inclusivity, and social consciousness, and are known for their fluency with technology and digital communication.

If you want to engage with them, you need to understand their mindset, communication style, and preferences.

In this guide, we’ll take a deep dive into the world of Generation Y, providing insights that will help you connect with this tech-savvy and socially conscious generation.

What is Generation Y?

Generation Y, also known as millennials, is a term used to describe the demographic cohort born between the early 1980s and mid-1990s. This generation witnessed significant technological advancements and cultural changes, which have shaped their worldview and behavior.

Millennials have grown up in a time of rapid change, giving them a set of priorities and expectations sharply different from previous generations.

Who are they?

Characteristics of Millennials

• Tech-savvy: Millennials grew up with technology, and they are proficient in using digital devices and platforms.

• Socially conscious: This generation values social justice, diversity, and inclusion. They are more likely to support brands that align with their values.

• Collaborative: They prefer working in teams and value collaboration over competition.

• Independent: Despite being team players, Generation Y values their independence and autonomy.

• Multi-taskers: This generation is used to multitasking and managing multiple responsibilities at once.

• Diverse: Generation Y is the most diverse generation in history, and they celebrate and embrace differences.

Communication Style of Millennials

Generation Y has a unique communication style that reflects their values, preferences, and upbringing. Understanding their communication style is crucial if you want to connect with them effectively.

Communication Preferences of Generation Y

• Digital: Millennials prefer communicating digitally, using social media, messaging apps, and emails.
• Authentic: This generation values authenticity and transparency. They expect brands to be honest and genuine in their communication.
• Visual: They respond well to visual content, such as images, videos, and infographics.
• Immediate: This generation expects immediate responses and feedback. They are used to instant gratification and don’t like waiting.
• Conversational: Generation Y prefers conversational communication over formal and scripted messages.

Tips for Communicating with Millennials

• Use social media and messaging apps to connect with them.
• Be authentic and transparent in your communication.
• Use visual content to capture their attention.
• Respond promptly to their messages and feedback.
• Be conversational and approachable in your communication.

How to Engage with Generation Y

Engaging with Generation Y requires a deep understanding of their values, preferences, and behaviors. Here are some tips for engaging with this generation:

Tips for Marketing to Generation Y

Be socially responsible:

Generation Y values social responsibility and sustainability. Brands that show a commitment to these issues are more likely to win their trust and loyalty.

Focus on experiences:

This generation values experiences over material possessions. Brands that offer unique and memorable experiences are more likely to attract their attention.

Leverage technology:

Millennials are tech-savvy and expect brands to be innovative and tech-forward. Use technology to enhance their experience and engagement with your brand.

Be authentic and transparent:

Generation Y values authenticity and transparency. Avoid using gimmicks and false promises in your marketing messages.

Tips for Recruiting Millennials

Highlight career development

Focus on company culture:

Generation Y values company culture and work-life balance. Highlight these aspects in your recruitment messaging.

Use social media:

This generation uses social media to research companies and job opportunities. Use social media to showcase your company culture and values.

Provide flexibility:

The generation values flexibility in their work schedule and location. Offer flexible work arrangements to attract and retain top talent.

Offer growth opportunities:

This generation values career development and growth opportunities. Provide them with opportunities for professional development and advancement.

Generation Y as parents

Millennial parents are bringing their own unique perspectives and values to the process of raising children.

Some characteristics that have been observed include

• a focus on collaboration and shared decision-making with their children,
• an emphasis on emotional intelligence and empathy,
• a desire to raise socially conscious and environmentally aware children.

Millennials are also known for their reliance on technology and digital media, and this has led to some unique challenges in their style of parenting. They are still figuring out issues such as managing screen time and digital distractions.

Unlike other generations, they are more likely to entertain their children donning wearable gadgets. They also allow their kids to try out different AI innovations.

Additionally, due to economic factors such as rising costs of living and increased student loan debt, Millennials face unique challenges in providing for their children.

Overall, Millennial parenting is influenced by their generational values and experiences, as well as the current social and economic context.

Many millennial parents are champions of a new age of parenting, way beyond Baby Boomers and Generation X. Apart from being ethnically and racially diverse,

Children of Millennials

The children of Millennials are often referred to as “Generation Alpha” or “Gen Alpha.” They are the first generation to be born entirely in the 21st century, with birth years ranging from 2010 to the 2024.

As children of parents who grew up in a time of rapid technological change and social progress, Gen Alpha is expected to be even more technologically savvy and diverse than their Millennial parents.

They will likely grow up with a greater awareness of issues such as climate change and social justice, and may place a higher value on experiences and social connections than material possessions.

Like all generations, they will be shaped by their unique cultural, economic, and technological contexts, as well as the values and beliefs passed down to them by their parents and communities.

Common Misconceptions about Generation Y

There are many misconceptions about Millennials that can hinder effective communication and engagement with this generation. Let’s debunk some of these misconceptions:

Misconception 1: Generation Y is entitled and lazy

This is a common misconception about Generation Y, but it is not true. This generation is ambitious and hardworking, and they value work-life balance and flexibility.

Misconception 2: Generation Y is disloyal

This is another misconception about Generation Y. While this generation values career development and growth, they also value company culture and work-life balance. If a company provides these aspects, Generation Y is likely to be loyal and committed.

Misconception 3: Generation Y is obsessed with technology

While it is true that Generation Y is tech-savvy, they value human connections and experiences as well. They use technology as a means to connect with others and enhance their experiences, but they also appreciate face-to-face interactions.

FAQs:

Q: What are the key values of Generation Y?

A: They value social justice, diversity, inclusion, authenticity, and transparency.

Q: How do I communicate with Generation Y effectively?

A: Use digital channels, be authentic and transparent, use visual content, respond promptly, and be conversational in your communication.

Q: What are some common misconceptions about Millennials?

A: Some common misconceptions are that they are entitled and lazy, disloyal, and obsessed with technology.

Conclusion:

Generation Y is a unique generation with their own set of values, habits, and behaviors. Understanding their mindset and communication style is crucial for effective engagement and communication. By leveraging their values and preferences, you can connect with this tech-savvy and socially conscious generation and build meaningful relationships.

As conscious parents, we’re doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children’s behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids’ lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact gracefully and helpfully with parents who aren’t on the same page?

Janet shares 3 notes from parents whose kids have experienced unpleasant interactions with other children. The parents’ instinct was to step in, but they were uncertain how to do that without offending the other parents. Janet explains her perspective and specific advice for handling each of these encounters.

Janet’s “No Bad Kids Master Course” is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.

Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Transcript of “Problems with Other People’s Children”

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled.

Today I’m going to be addressing three notes that I received. I always seem to get things in threes. These are all on the topic of other people’s kids.

We’re working really hard, a lot of us, on how to engage with our own children, how to help them with their behavior, how to teach them right from wrong. But what happens if we’re dealing with other children who are maybe not being safe with our child, not respecting their boundaries? And then we also have the other children’s parents. What are they doing? How are they handling it? How do we navigate this? So, it’s a big topic, but I’m going to use these three notes from very mindful parents to offer general guidelines and also some specifics to help us in these social situations.

Okay, so first I want to talk about what can get in our way of responding in a manner that’s the most helpful and productive in terms of what our children are learning, even what other children are learning. Oftentimes, I’ll hear from parents that are making this really challenging transition to a respectful, thoughtful approach from being raised in a very different way. So they could be breaking generational cycles, learning something that maybe doesn’t come as naturally to them, that they’re not as confident about, but that they really, really want. And sometimes we can be in that position and we either overreact or under-react. Overreacting—and parents have expressed to me that they feel they have a right to do this, and they certainly do. To come into these situations fiercely protective of their child, so angry at that other child, raising their voice, scolding them.

And while that happens—and it certainly does make sense and there’s nothing wrong with us for feeling that way—we’re not helping either child in that situation. Instead, we’re adding more fear into a situation where our child is already a little afraid or trying to process something that just happened. And we’re coming in in this scary way, Yikes, this was really, really scary, what happened here. So scary that my parent is having a strong emotional reaction. I can’t handle this. It is scary to be out with other children or to be engaging with this particular friend. I’m not safe. And then that other child, if that other child is the one who’s hurt our child, we’re not helping them either. Their behavior’s coming from discomfort already and now we’re adding a lot more. So we’re not helping that child in the moment or the next time. Because this impulse will come up for them again, especially because of the way that we reacted. So, that’s the one extreme direction that we can go.

The other one I often hear about from parents who, they don’t want to be that overreacting person, but they’re not sure how to go into the situation with confidence. And so they don’t intervene and they kind of let it go. Then their child is getting hurt, getting hit, showing that they’re not able to defend their boundaries themselves. And the parent is feeling too tentative to be able to intervene in a protective but calm manner. All of that is understandable as well.

The goal that we want is to find that just-right intervention that offers the most positive, empowering messages to both children. That feels safe to them, so they’re in an emotional space where they can be receptive, where they can learn positive things, like that I have a right to boundaries and how to express my boundaries. And for that other child, that people are actually out there looking out for me when I need help with boundaries, when I need help stopping these impulses that I have. And they’re not mad at me about it, they’re not judging me. Which is the only way we really can help. As soon as we’re judging a child, they can’t receive that as help. They receive it as just more evidence that they’re bad, that they’re not okay, and that they’re kind of alone in this.

So, how do we get ourselves to that just-right frame of mind? We get it with clarifying our perspective. And in this case, the perspective that I recommend working on is letting go of what we don’t control, completely, which is going to be those other adults’ reactions. We have no power to control that, and there’s actually a lot of good reasons not to. We’re raising our children not to be in a bubble, but to adapt to the world around them. Which children will naturally do, they’ll naturally want to do. And we can be there as supporters and guides in this journey, but they are going to get exposed to, and they’re supposed to get exposed to, all different kinds of reactions to their behavior and to other children’s behavior. Maybe that even comes from relatives. Maybe one of two parents reacts differently, and maybe not ideally.

But children really only need one person who is in their corner. Still seeing them clearly, but not judging them, understanding that they’re going to show every different kind of behavior. They don’t need the whole world and everybody else in it to act the same way. Even if people are using terms for them or for their child who’s acting out with them, maybe they’re using terms like naughty or bad or yelling at their child or yelling at your child. Obviously that’s not ideal, but that’s life.

And we’re there, one step behind them, in terms of the way that they’re processing what they’re learning, so we can reflect with them later, taking our cues from our child. Did something happen there that was mystifying to my child? I see that expression on their face. Then I could ask them, maybe afterwards, Did that seem different to you, what that parent was doing? Or, You noticed that that child was behaving this certain way, and what do you think that was about? How did that feel to you?

Okay, so now instead of me going on and on in this general way, I think it will work better for me to use these questions to explain what I’m talking about:

Hi, Janet. I know this question may not be what you normally talk about, but it’s been something that is coming up a lot lately for me. How do I deal with other children misbehaving? Sometimes parents don’t step in when I would expect they would, and it leaves me feeling uncomfortable and unsure how to handle it.

A while back ago, we had friends and their kids over. Their kids were very physically aggressive, and my kids had been hit and pushed several times. The mom would lightly address it, but it kept happening. Then he started being destructive and hitting furniture and other things with a toy. They just laughed it off. But I ended up asking him not to, and things got awkward and uncomfortable. Is there a way to politely handle a situation when the parents don’t? By the time I end up saying something, I know my emotions are feeling tight, and even though I try to keep it out of my voice, people can sense it.

Okay, so when we get to that point where our emotions are feeling tight, that can happen with our own children too, right? And the reason that happens is because we’re letting something go. We’re not stepping in right away, as early as we can, to put a stop to things. We’re expecting other people to work it out. In this case, other parents or, in the case of us with our child, we’re expecting them to just follow our directions. You know, when we say stop, we expect that they should stop. But oftentimes they can’t.

So in these cases with other children, when you see the energy of this other child or other children, then unfortunately the children need us to not be sitting back just talking to the parents and hanging out and pretending everything’s fine. And then of course, knowing that it isn’t, we get worked up, and then we come in with the less helpful kind of energy. And we feel really frustrated because we’ve let things go and why aren’t these parents doing what I want them to do? Other parents usually won’t feel judged or that there’s something wrong with you, if you come in non-judgmentally, early to the situation. You see this going on, like, Ah, yeah, you guys want to, oh, nope, that could hurt him. I know you don’t want to do that, so I’m going to stop you. And while I’m saying this, I’m just calmly kind of buddy-guarding, hanging near the children, so I can stop them. Maybe I don’t always get there before something happens, but I’m there pretty soon after. And I have my hands up to stop them, even if I have to kind of hold their bodies a little bit. I’m doing it with respect. I’m doing it with calmness.

The key to coming in with confidence is being there, being close enough and ready so that we can help and not get caught on our heels. So when we see, as this parent does, that sometimes parents don’t step in when I would expect they would, that’s okay if they don’t step in, I’m going to step in. But I’m not going to step in in a way that should anger those other parents or embarrass them. No one wants their children to be hurting another child. That would be odd. I doubt you would be friends with people who really didn’t care. Maybe they just are afraid to step in, or they don’t know how to do it in a calm way. Or maybe they believe they’re respecting when they’re actually not really seeing their children clearly, not helping them.

So when other people aren’t helping, be the hero. Be the one who helps, way before you get to the point of being angry and annoyed. Yeah, it’s reasonable to have the expectation that other parents would care and stop their child. But there are a lot of reasons why parents haven’t gotten to that yet, and we have no control over that. But we do have control over our behavior in the moment and what goes on in our house and what goes on with our child. And that’s where I would be protective. So not storming in angrily, but, You know, this is a little rough today. So I’m here. Ooh, no, no, no. Yeah, I can’t let you use those toys that way. That’s not safe when you throw them like that. I’m there. I’m not just talking. I’m in there, acting as if I can handle all of this.

And it’s amazing how that translates to children. If we really believe we’re being heroic here, we’re being the great model. Even for the other parents, because we’re sincerely helping that child who is struggling with boundaries. And maybe this is why they’re doing this in front of you. It’s almost an unconscious, Hey, people aren’t helping me with this. Maybe you can? Obviously that’s not a conscious process of thought, but that’s part of the impulse. Like, Help! Somebody help me! Look what I’m doing now. I’m out of control. I don’t want to be this person that’s doing this. So stepping into that role will feel –when you get used to it and you can own it– feel really, really good. And if people are put off by that, honestly, there’s something wrong with them. Because you’re being kind to their child. You’re not mad at or finger-pointing, you’re helping.

I had a live event a few years ago collaborating with this wonderful educator, one of my favorites, for this very enthusiastic and engaged group of parents. And one of them asked what to do about their four-year-old who had this friend of his, this little boy would come over and the little boy would want to wrestle and want to do things physically that their boy was saying no to. But he was going along with it because the other child wasn’t listening to him and kept going.

And so the person I was collaborating with on the stage, they had a different opinion, which is fine too. I’m sure a lot of you out there have very different opinions from mine. In this case, the person I was on stage with said, Let them work it out. That’ll be really good for your child. You know, boys play like that sometimes.

While I totally could see that point of view, I have a very different perspective, which is that this child is showing they’re struggling with boundaries. Both children are actually showing that, but especially this child who is not listening to my son. He needs help. And I believe he’s asking for it here in this house, and I want to be the one that gives it to him. So I would go in and say, with my hand there, I’m going to stop you. It sounds like you’re saying you don’t want that. You’re telling him. Yeah. So he’s saying he doesn’t want that, so I’m going to stop you there. I wouldn’t redirect them to something else. I would allow them to have that moment. And then on their own—and I’ve seen this happen hundreds of times with children—on their own, they come up with another way to play. I don’t have to do that for them. All I have to do is help them with the boundary. It is really hard with your peers. You want to go along with them, right? You feel like, Oh, maybe there’s something wrong with me. I should be okay with this. Sometimes children do need a helping hand, and when we’re there to offer it, I would see that as a primetime parenting opportunity.

Okay, here’s another note I received:

It might be interesting to do a post or include in a future podcast what to do when your child is the one who is hit, shoved by another kid. I have been in a few situations now with other kids and their parents present where a toddler shoves or hits my toddler, two and a half. It is very hard to navigate because most parents instantly demand their child stand in front of mine and apologize. That’s their first response.

My kid is usually just sort of stunned and I get in there with him to softly say, “It’s not okay for someone to hit you or hurt you. How do you feel?” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to him, but this feels important. I also try to make it broad and not about that particular child because I don’t want to harm their relationship and I’m sure they can get through this. But it’s very uncomfortable saying that in front of the other parents, who always seem embarrassed. Then they immediately jump to the forced apology. I can’t control them and I don’t want to undermine or question them in front of their kids. But I also don’t appreciate the example being made in front of my kid, their friend forced to stand there in front of them and say something that only makes them feel worse.

Once with a mom friend, I awkwardly blurted out, “If my kid had pushed your kid, I would not expect him to say sorry. We would just talk about what happened. So, no pressure.” They just stared at me stunned. Maybe an entire podcast on navigating parenting differences on the playground?

Okay, so yeah, I totally agree with what this parent says about “I can’t control them and I don’t want to undermine or question them in front of their kids” when they’re forcing the apologies. So yeah, that’s that letting go. People certainly have a right to do things their own way, the way they think is best.

Where I see things a little differently than this parent writing to me is that I don’t believe this will hurt her child at all. Yeah, it’s not an example of what this parent would do, but it’s a fine example out there of what people are doing. And I mean, the whole purpose of our guidance for them is for them to be exposed gradually to the rest of the world. And this is a common way that parents react, into that apology. Because they feel that that’s the right thing to do. All of this is very well-intentioned, right?

But what we know about children is that they process things more slowly than we do. And even we, as adults, when we do something that hurts someone’s feelings or we do something wrong, we’re not always able to snap into an apology. Especially if we feel people jumping on us around what we did. We don’t have that kind of emotional comfort space that we need to be vulnerable, which is what an apology, a true apology, comes from. That vulnerability, that openness, looking at it and saying, Ooh, I’m sorry I did that. That’s not going to just come trippingly off the tongue immediately.

Yet we expect this from children, because a lot of us feel like what people see in our children is going to reflect on us. And so we want them to be better than we are, right? A lot of the time, maybe. But that impulse is actually not going to get us the result that we want. It’s going to make our children feel more distanced from us, less inclined to want to genuinely go to that vulnerable place where apologies come from. It’s going to make them feel like they aren’t trusted, that they can’t really navigate this. That they have our judgment more than they have the support that they need. So I agree with this parent, that’s not an ideal situation for those children to have to do that.

And yeah, we can’t always be there ahead of time to stop the hitting or shoving. That’s not going to be possible. Once we see a child going to that place once, then we can be close by because now we’ve gotten a clue that this child is not managing the situation easily. And we can be there for them, to help. So she says, “My kid is usually just sort of stunned.” Yes. And it’s not even stunned in a scary way. They’re not usually traumatized by it in any way. It’s just Ooh, what just happened? What was that about?

So in that moment of processing, what do they need from us there? They need us to be ready to block so it doesn’t happen again. So, physically there. Ideally calmly there, with confidence that this isn’t going to terrify our child. If we’re terrified or if we’re emotional, then that’s when it gets scarier for them. But on its own, it’s just a puzzling moment, right? And yeah, we want to make sure they’re okay. Usually we can look at them and see, but we might say like, Ooh, did that hurt? Yeah. Are you all right? But try to be careful not to turn this into that I see my child is this sad victim here or something, which can be a projection that we have that’s similar to that projection of being angry at the other child. It’s that mother bear or father bear in us, fiercely protective. But the best way to protect isn’t to let that bear out of us. It’s more protective in a helpful way to be calm, to wait, to really check out our child. Rather than trying to console them or fix something that may not even need fixing. So staying open to, What did they think? And you know, just checking both children out.

And then with the parents doing the apology thing, I would still stay there with my child. Breathing, exhaling. I don’t think it feels worse to our child to have a child do a very likely false type of apology. They’re probably just still in that processing Ooh, what’s going on here? mode. It’s safe for them to be there. And if our child brings it up later, or if we notice them thinking about it, then after the fact, when those children have moved away, that’s when I would say, Wow, their parent really wanted them to say sorry. They really wanted them to say those words to you. Just reflecting what happened, not deciding that this was the right or wrong thing to do. Knowing that the way we are with our child is what has influence on how they feel about themselves, how they feel about the way they’re navigating in the world. It’s always going to take precedence over what other people do. I would love to encourage parents to feel secure in that knowledge, that they do have a lot of power here. And the more we can trust children to navigate with our support, but not trying to direct their thinking, the better.

Okay, so here’s one more:

Hi, Janet. Thanks for all the work you do to help us be better parents.

Our girls are four and six years old and love to get out in town and do fun things. Two weekends in a row, we came across nearly the same challenging situation. Both times we were at a play maze, the kind of maze that is several stories tall and the kids climb through. There are different obstacles and there are slides within it, as well as slides exiting it. They are so happy that they can finally independently go through it and explore and have fun. Usually parents are at the base of the maze unless their kid gets stuck up in the maze and the parent has to go up to rescue them.

Both times we went through –totally different mazes and weekends– my girls encountered a child in the maze who was behaving aggressively towards them. The children (I’m grouping them together now for simplicity), who both times were actually younger than them, pushed them down the slide, reportedly had their hands on their neck, were grabbing onto them without letting go, ramming into them with a cushion block, etc. My girls came down in tears once and came down immediately the next time and reported back to me. But it was already after the fact.

What do we teach them to do when they’re alone, like up in the maze, and a kid is acting aggressively towards them? They came and reported it to us, and we told them to stay with us, but we weren’t sure how they should handle it in the moment. Of course, both times the parents of the children were oblivious to what their child was doing.

Thanks in advance.

Okay, so this sentence stuck out to me: “They’re so happy that they can finally independently go through it and explore and have fun.” So each of these steps to independence, each of these ways that we as parents let go a little to let our child experience more of the world on their own terms. Which, again, this process of development is what our job is all about. My mentor Magda Gerber used to say, “Parenting, it’s this process of letting go. We let go. We let go a little more and a little more, as our child gets to stretch their wings.” So this is a positive experience for these children to have, right?

And unfortunately, they came across some pretty concerning behavior from another child. There’s no way of knowing all the reasons that children would behave like that. But oftentimes it’s about the dynamic and the relationship they have with their parents that they’re taking out on other children. Or they just feel out of control.

So what do we do? How do we help our children when they’re facing those situations? Well, these girls did the absolutely perfect thing. They told their parents right away. And, I mean, this is one of the reasons we never want to judge a child for “tattling,” which is really just reporting. But that can be a trigger for us sometimes, that a child is a tattletale. Maybe we were teased for being a tattletale or that we see that in a negative light. Rather than a communication, I trust my parent. I want to let you know what’s going on with me, that we’ve got to hope is going to last us through our child’s adolescence and teen years and early adulthood and for life, right? That they feel safe to tell us all the things, that we’re not going to say, Oh, don’t be a tattle. Don’t say that stuff.

So anyway, obviously this parent hasn’t done that and the children did the perfect thing, and is there anything else they could do? Well, the second time it happened, she says they came down immediately. Brilliant, right? So they are taking care of themselves. Yes, unfortunately they’re learning these hard lessons that every child isn’t kind, children aren’t always safe to be around, other people aren’t always safe to be around. And when we don’t feel safe, we exit the situation and we report to our parents, to help someone help that child so that it doesn’t keep happening.

This mom says, “Of course, both times the parents of the children were oblivious to what their child was doing.” Well, I hope they were told, and hopefully not judgmentally, just, Oh gosh, this is what your child is doing in there. I’m sure you want to know they’re not being safe inside the maze and they’re upsetting other kids. So if we can do that in a way that isn’t shaming of the parent. Studies actually show that, when you see parents that are being harsh with their kids, maybe physically punishing them, the parent’s dysregulated, shaming their child. We see parents doing these scary things and we want to run in there and save that child, right? What that actually does is it makes the parent feel worse. And then that means the parent is more likely to take out those feelings with that child later, because now we’ve shamed them. So, shaming doesn’t help a child, it doesn’t help a parent, it doesn’t help anybody. And as much as that might be a healthy impulse when we’re angry, that’s not what we want to aim for, if we really want to be a positive force and a positive model for our children.

So the ideal response to those parents that are obviously overwhelmed and not at their best with their child, the ideal is to go up at most and say, Can I give you a hand here? Can I help you with these groceries? Do you want me to help take your child’s hand so we can get you to the car? Help. And in the case of the parents whose children were acting out in the maze, yeah, if we could communicate this is going on, even with empathy, to that parent, that has the best chance of being received in a way that they can help their child and therefore other children like yours as well.

So I know all of this maybe sounds really idealistic and goody-two-shoes and, Oh gosh, you know, what is she expecting? We’re not going to have feelings about these things? And I understand that, and that’s not what I’m expecting. But I’m offering a framework that will not only help you navigate these situations individually, but give your child all those lessons that I know you want them to have. That they’re safe, that independence is this balance of joy and also sometimes scary. It’s a risk that we’re taking, even to interact with another child. But it’s one that they can handle, with our support.

So I thank all these parents for sharing with me. Just know that, yeah, step-by-step, building confidence each time, one step forward, two steps back, forgiving yourselves for being human.

We can do this.

It’s the peace and quiet of children finally sleeping. But mid-way through your exhaled sigh of relief, you hear a tiny voice chirping. “Mom! Dad! I’m scared!”

It’s nothing new–over the years, you’ve checked for monsters under the bed, velociraptors in the closet, aliens outside the window, and a giant, creepy clown that supposedly visits your child’s room at night.

Even your best detective skills have never turned up anything more than a couple of dust bunnies and a missing sock. 

Still, your kiddo remains doubtful. 

Because…what if?

Common childhood fears aren’t limited to nighttime, of course–many kids are afraid of everything from swimming pools (what if there’s a shark in the deep end?!?) to thunderstorms (what if the lightning gets me?!?) to spiders (can you blame them?).

Some fears may be more legitimate than others, but all are very real to your child, whether they’re two or twelve.

If there’s a fierce imaginary something plaguing your house, don’t worry: your kids don’t have to grow up unreasonably afraid of the dark, or anything else! 

(Looking for ways to encourage your kids? Our FREE list of 27 Encouraging Words and Phrases is full of helpful suggestions.)

The five strategies below will help give your child the confidence and courage to brave the bogeymen–alongside life’s weightiest, most realistic fears.

1. Validate, Rather Than Brush Off, Your Child’s Feelings

You may feel too busy, frustrated, or exhausted to talk about zombies, vampires, or any of the common antagonists of macabre fiction again. (“They’re just made-up creatures, Honey!”)

But younger children, especially, are still making sense of the world and sorting reality from fantasy. That distinction is understandably murky.

It’s our job to reassure our kiddos that certain threats are far less plausible than others (or just plain impossible), but we can accompany that assurance with a pang of empathy, too. It’s hard to be little and awash with hundreds or more images–and verbal warnings–of potential dangers each day. 

Kids aren’t silly for resorting to fight and flight while processing everything; fear first, in-depth reasoning later. (Even though you know your kid won’t get food poisoning from that bite of broccoli, he’s not so sure…)

And, of course, fear can be useful. Its purpose in survival is crystal clear. 

Rather than dismissing our children’s anxieties, it helps to respond with empathy and encouragement. 

Lending a sympathetic tone doesn’t mean playing into the anxiety or the fear. It just means we’re letting our kids know we understand how it feels to be scared–and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

2. Prompt Your Kids to Problem-Solve Solutions With Confidence

After showing sympathy, it’s time to express that we’re confident our kids can overcome their fears. 

Neuroscientists and psychologists agree that while some fear is inherent, much of it is also learned. 

The fantastic news is that this allows us more control over our fears. And we can all agree that having more control is an advantageous place to be. 

In fact, kids who have a little more control over their lives–whether it’s making a few age-appropriate decisions throughout the day or being given a chance to voice their opinions–feel increased levels of belonging and significance. This naturally raises their feelings of validation and confidence. 

And, as you can imagine, confident kids are more willing to take healthy risks and work bravely through their fears. 

Let’s say your 6-year-old approaches you–having been exposed to something his old sister was watching–and wants you to comfort him. He relies on you to manage his fear and protect him. 

This is natural, of course. We are the parents, and we protect our children! But it’s never too soon to introduce our kids to tools that will help them problem-solve fearful situations for themselves. 

You can kneel down to your 6-year-old and say, “When you see something on the TV that bothers you, you change the channel or walk away!” Or, “You can remind yourself that those are actors, and they are just pretending!” 

Of course, not all fears are based on something fake. One day, your 11-year-old might mention a bullying incident at school. She’s afraid to go back to that same class and be humiliated–or even physically assaulted. 

First off–it’s amazing that she’s going to you for protection. It means she trusts you and your guidance. You’ll offer it gladly, of course, and assist in any way you can. (You always want to keep those lines of communication open!)

But situations like these are also a wonderful opportunity to coach our kids on problem-solving–like how to handle conflicts with other individuals. 

With bullying, solutions might include ignoring taunts, talking to school administrators, learning self-defense, involving counselors, or even going to the police. You can present multiple options and train your kids on the best course of action for the circumstance. 

Because next time, you may not be available or nearby to help. 

Any time we emphasize problem-solving, we’re giving our children a chance not to sidestep fear and its negative effects, but face and work through it. 

3. Slow-Roll Exposure to Scarier Shows

We can’t control everything our children are exposed to. Even kid-friendly movies have a token bad guy. It’s part of life.

But we can manage a lot of the information that comes through their screens. This includes installing smartphone, television, and tablet controls. 

And, for what we can’t monitor, we can provide context and critical thinking. 

Remember–everything our children watch on television or the Internet will be duly processed in their information-mining minds. 

While watching something scary, we can put things in perspective. It could be: “those soldiers died for a good cause,” or, “this has been exaggerated to make the story more dramatic” (and for the littlest tykes, “Ursula can’t actually steal Ariel’s voice and turn King Triton into a sea polyp– that’s silly!”).

If kids are watching something scary based on a true story–let’s say a war movie–we can talk about how the real-life characters showed avarice, bravery, and everything in between. It’s a golden opportunity to talk about morals and your family’s belief system–both of which offer a foundational stronghold for facing fears. 

The ultimate intent isn’t to keep our children ignorant of all real-life ills: it’s to slowly expose them to potential harm. This can help them put the pieces of a sometimes tragic world into place without excessive worry and super sleepless nights. 

While we may frantically yell at them to stay out of the street or stay far from a cliff’s edge, nothing sudden and/or traumatic has to be seen on screen for them to come to terms with hard realities.

And, although conquering fear is great–like Bruce Wayne embodying Batman to overcome his fear of bats–eliminating it doesn’t have to be the ultimate goal. A little fear kept in check can be useful when it comes to procrastinating over an exam, driving carefully in the snow, and talking to strangers, amongst other things. 

We just don’t want fear to be debilitating: especially in a world where kids are reporting increased anxiety over everything from test scores to competitive try-outs. The aim is to help our kids find a healthy balance. 

4. Increase Quality-Time Comforts

Children that feel safe and secure–both in body and in mind–are likely to brave their fears with greater ease. 

In our online Positive Parenting Solutions® course, we argue that the best way to give kids this deep-seated comfort is through MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME® activities (MBST). 

When kids are leery of bedtime and obsess over fears at night, evening MBST can give them a sense of being “armed”–protectively–with love. They may fall asleep with less struggle and sleep far more peacefully. 

Whether their apprehension about bedtime stems from separation anxiety, night terrors, or an oh-so-common fear of the dark, adding MBST into bedtime routines distracts kids from scarier “what if” thinking. Not only does it provide a tremendous sense of comfort, but it also boosts well-being and confidence. 

All you need for a successful MBST session is 10-15 minutes of your undistracted time. Your child gets to choose the activity, and then you just need to label it–both before and after the fact. 

“I’m so happy to start our ‘mommy/daughter’ time. It’s my favorite time of day.” And, “I really enjoyed our ‘daddy/dude’ session this evening!”

Giving MBST a special name helps hone in on the fact that you are dedicating this undivided time to your kids. Your kids will understand your commitment and feel all the more grateful. 

The only difference between daytime and bedtime MBST activities is that evening MBST is ideally calm and relaxed. This might mean you read aloud together, talk to one another about your day, play 20 questions, or even build a comfy pillow fort atop their bed. You just don’t want your kiddo getting too amped up before sleep. 

Even if you don’t have time for MBST every evening, eliminating anxiety, fighting, and power struggles as much as possible before bedtime helps kids fall asleep faster. 

And, the next day? Well-rested kids are better equipped, both emotionally and physically, to face fears head-on.

5. Differentiate Between Real and Exaggerated Fears 

Sometimes, kids hyperbolize their fears to get our attention. Delayed bedtime tactics like, “Can you check my closet for monsters again,” or a request like, “Can I sleep next to you tonight, just this once?” could be classic examples. 

This is especially likely if kids are feeling unnoticed or aren’t getting that daily dose of MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME® bonding. 

You know your child best. You can probably tell if the fear is contrived or in earnest. If not, there are certain signs to look out for. 

If your family has recently faced trauma, or your kids feel consistently or uncontrollably upset, afraid, or anxious, you may want to seek help. The fear could be situational (and still in need of attention) or could signal an underlying anxiety disorder or phobia. 

Plenty of counselors and psychologists specialize in treating fear in children, so if in doubt, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. 

Final Thoughts 

Fear may be an unfortunate reality, but in our children’s daily lives, it should never be paralyzing. With these strategies, you can help your kids tame their deepest concerns and grow increasingly self-assured of their inner strength. 

From toddlers to teens, our kids are warriors. Let’s help them see that.

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