Category: Dating & Love

People convicted of murder should be able to vote. If our criminal justice system is premised on the twin pillars of punishment (which we’ve gotten very good at indeed) and rehabilitation, the idea that a person who has already served their sentence for a convicted felony must face perpetual punishment from the state defies logic.

And that’s exactly what stripping someone of their right to vote is: punishment.

The United States is one of the few countries where people with felony convictions are prohibited from voting outright. Some countries restrict people with felony convictions from voting if their convictions stem from election crimes or treason. That makes sense. Maybe a person who tries to undermine democracy shouldn’t get to participate in democracy. Certainly if you try to overthrow the government­—or aid those who do—you shouldn’t be able to run for president or hold a position in Congress, but apparently that horse has left the barn.

In truth, it’s not just people convicted of crimes who deserve to vote. Incarcerated people themselves deserve the franchise too. What better way to move the ongoing conversation about criminal justice reform than to actually let people impacted by criminal justice policies to vote for people whose ideas about criminal justice align with theirs? It doesn’t make sense to prohibit incarcerated people from participating in democracy—again, unless they literally incited a mob to overthrow the government.

But even if allowing people in prison to vote is a bridge too far for you, I must ask: What does the crime of killing someone have to do with voting or democracy? After all, this country loves killing people so much that it kills people who have been convicted of killing people (which doesn’t make sense to me, but that’s a discussion for another time).

The answer is that it permits people in power to define what a crime is. And then it permits those same people to determine which crimes are so heinous (by whatever measure powerful people measure heinousness) that one of the most sacred and fought for rights—the right to vote—should be stripped from you forever. It’s a form of voter suppression, but one that doesn’t draw as much indignation: these are criminals, we’re talking about after all.

And that’s when the connection between voting access and the movement underway to criminalize people in the abortion access pipeline becomes apparent: The Supreme Court relegated women and people capable of becoming pregnant to second-class citizens, and now states can ensure that we remain second-class citizens by making it impossible for us to vote our way out of this clusterfuck.

The movement to enfranchise people convicted of felonies has been very successful. Since 2016, the number of people prohibited from voting due to a felony conviction has decreased by 24 percent, according to an October report from the Sentencing Project. That still leaves 4.6 million people disenfranchised, but advocates have worked so hard for these gains and should be feted.

As a result of this advocacy, for example, in 2018, Florida voters by an overwhelming 65 percent decided to restore voting rights to Floridians who had completed their jail sentences. But there was a caveat. First, they would have to pay all of their incurred court fees, which in most cases are prohibitively expensive, thus leaving the person with a felony conviction and attendant court costs disenfranchised. But second, people who were convicted of a violent crime remain disenfranchised.

Other states have similar caveats regarding violent crimes. In Arkansas, Florida, and Wyoming, for example, people who have felony convictions for violent crimes are prohibited from voting.

In Alabama and Mississippi, two of the most abortion-hostile states in the country, people convicted of specific crimes are barred from voting. One of those specified crimes? Murder. And what do Republicans in Mississippi and Alabama (wrongly) think abortion is? If you said murder, give yourself a high-five.

In addition, there are about a dozen states that permit restoration of voting rights upon the completion of the jail sentence; others permit an incarcerated person to vote immediately upon release from prison.

Among these states, however, are some that are right up there with Alabama and Mississippi in terms of abortion rights hostility, and I would expect Republicans in those states to amend their criminal code to make sure that people convicted of violent crimes are permanently disenfranchised. (The bitchassedness of Missouri, Texas, and Georgia comes to mind.)

People who are in the business of “aiding and abetting” abortion may find themselves charged with a felony. And if convicted, they may find themselves banned from voting entirely.

If you’re hardcore enough to help someone get an abortion even though you know it’s illegal, you’re probably a person who is voting in elections for candidates who support abortion rights.

What if your vote is removed permanently? What if the votes of other advocates and mutual aid providers are removed permanently?

You see the problem. It’s a problem that will become more prevalent as state legislatures drop the “we don’t want to criminalize pregnant women” charade, change their criminal codes, and women and people capable of becoming pregnant start racking up felony convictions related to pregnancy loss.

And you can be sure those convicted of felonies will, by and large, be people of color. As the war on medication abortion pills begins to look more and more like the war on drugs that marches inexorably onward even though we’ve been losing it for more than 30 years, the collateral damage from the war on drugs will look the same demographically: People of color locked up in prison because of the choices they make about their bodily autonomy.

Some things in life are certain. You’re born, one day you’ll die, and the government will steal your money somewhere in the middle. And that a cheater is always a cheater. Right? The others may well be true, but some psychological facts about cheating might just end up bursting your bubble. 

Just like that recipe you thought you could follow without a hitch, infidelity is more complex than it seems at first glance. Lust isn’t necessarily the only thing that makes a person cheat and it’s not impossible to rebuild a relationship after an episode of infidelity. After all, you can always start from scratch after burning your pancake batter.

With the help of emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney), who specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, let’s take a closer look at the world of cheating. 

What Is The Psychological Reason Behind Cheating?

“But we were so sexually satisfied in our relationship, I can’t believe he cheated!” said Melinda, talking about her boyfriend Jason cheating on her despite not showing any signs of discontent with the relationship. Though Jason’s pleas of “It just happened, I wasn’t planning it” may not salvage the situation, the fact remains that what he’s saying might just be true. The scientific facts about cheating tell us that lack of sex isn’t always the reason behind cheating. 

“Psychologically, there can be many reasons for an affair,” says Pooja. Though everything might seem to be going well on paper, infidelity can shock the foundation of your relationship completely out of the blue. 

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“Anger and resentment in the primary relationship, dominant polyamory traits in someone’s personality, low level of commitment, or stressors in life such as illness and financial difficulty from which people seek an escape; can all play a role in cheating,” says Pooja.

“Sometimes, even body image and confidence issues may lead someone to pursue someone outside of the primary relationship,” she adds. The psychological facts about cheating are something that people usually don’t think about since they’re either too busy mindlessly cheating or recovering from being cheated on. But why does it happen? What is the psychology behind cheating? What makes a person take the plunge? According to Psychology Today, the 8 most common reasons that someone cheats are: 

• Anger
• Self-esteem issues
• Lack of love 
• Low commitment 
• Need for variety
• Being neglected
• Sexual desire
• Situational cheating

Depending on the person’s personality traits, family dynamics, and even their past relationships, their reasons may vary. Moreover, the psychological facts about a cheating man might be different from that of a woman. The psychology behind cheating and lying is complex, but the more you educate yourself on the subject, the better your chances are of trying to wrap your head around it. 

If you’re currently struggling with coming to terms with being cheated on, the facts about cheating won’t help numb the pain. In fact, uncovering the reasons might just make it hurt all over again. Nonetheless, the only way to get over it is by not suppressing these feelings and getting the answers to any questions you may have. Let’s finally take a look at some psychological facts about cheating that might give you valuable insight into the mind of a cheater.

9 Psychological Facts About Cheating

Out of the 441 respondents in a 2021 survey by Health Centers, around 46% of people reported they were unfaithful. And according to the American Psychological Association, around 20–40% of divorces in America are caused by infidelity. Though studies on the psychological facts about cheating tell us that men are still more likely to cheat, it’s also worth noting that according to the Institute for Family Studies, the numbers have been growing rapidly when it comes to women being unfaithful. 

It’s no surprise that it happens all around us, and educating yourself about the psychological facts about cheating will only do you good. Let’s get right to it then. 

Related Reading: An Overview Of Stages Of Guilt After Cheating

1. Cheating can “just happen”

Yes, it’s entirely possible that a person in a committed relationship, who was set in the ways of monogamy, might end up cheating due to situational factors. It can, so to speak, “just happen”. “Sometimes the opportunity to have a one-night stand or a no-commitment-no-risk casual hookup can lead to cheating,” says Pooja.

“Situations conducive to cheating arise when people have the opportunity to have multiple partners, or when one has a partner who won’t find out about the affair. These circumstances can lead one to take that risk,” she adds. Of course, in such situations, habitual cheating psychology definitely differs from that of a person who has uncharacteristically indulged in a one-night stand. That being said, it still doesn’t give the cheater any respite. 

If you thought that the psychology behind cheating would give you an elaborate layout of why people cheat, you’re probably a bit disappointed to find out that it can just be as mindless as the cheater says it was. Does this mean that everyone is capable of cheating? “Everyone” includes you as well. Ask yourself, would you indulge in infidelity, should the opportunity present itself? You definitely didn’t think we’d be making you analyze your own psyche, did you? 

2. Psychological facts about cheating: cheaters can change

It’s time we bust this myth for good. As we just pointed out above, cheating can be due to extremely situational circumstances. Just because a person cheated once doesn’t mean they’re always going to be a cheater. If an addict can kick off the nastiest addiction and get clean, a person who cheated once can definitely obey the rules of monogamy. Of course, this only applies to those who actually want to change, and not those who admit that they may cheat in the future too. 

Repeated cheating psychology usually revolves around deep-rooted issues that have not been addressed by the so-called offender. But given how it’s possible to turn your life around through sheer willpower and commitment, the whole “once a cheater” argument can go for a walk. 

3. Cheating isn’t always about sex

“One of the most overlooked psychological facts about cheating is that it’s not always about sex or sexual intimacy,” says Pooja. “Often, people find something amiss emotionally or intellectually in their primary relationship, and the other partner fills that gap. Couples must evolve together in all spheres of life. Sexuality is just one of those spheres. When both partners are on different wavelengths, it can lead to cheating. Emotional infidelity is real and sometimes more intense,” she adds.

Emotional cheating may even begin and stay as something platonic for the longest time. This is why catching the signs or even realizing that you may be doing it, becomes difficult. A ‘work spouse’ can end up getting a bit too close, or that best friend might just cross a few boundaries…these things do happen.

Studies suggest that a psychological fact about cheating women is that they’re looking to fulfill an emotional need and are not always in the pursuit of sex. Though some would claim that sexual cheating hurts more than emotional cheating, doesn’t emotional cheating suggest a much more imminent, greater threat toward the intimacy in the primary relationship? 

4. Facts about cheating: it doesn’t always end a relationship

If the psychological facts about cheating tell us that a cheater can change, it then follows that a relationship can definitely survive such a blow. It may feel like the bond you two share has now been nullified because your partner took another lover for the night. And rightly so, too. The trust has probably been shattered, and building it back up might appear impossible. But as you’ll soon realize, that’s not the case. 

“Many relationships survive affairs, sometimes even multiple affairs. Even so, many couples enter a better phase of their relationship after recovering from an affair. Cheating can mean a lot of things to a lot of relationships and need not end them,” says Pooja.

Forgiving someone who cheated is not the easiest thing to do in the world. But since the psychology behind cheating and lying shows us that a cheater doesn’t necessarily remain a cheater for the rest of their lives, rebuilding trust is absolutely possible in any dynamic, even despite infidelity.  

Related Reading: Behavior After Getting Caught Cheating – 5 Things To Expect And 7 Things To Do

5. Cheaters don’t always fall out of love with their primary partner

Even when infidelity may have transpired in your dynamic due to emotional reasons, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the cheater has fallen out of love with their primary partner. As we’ve pointed out, it’s a psychological fact about cheating that there are multiple reasons it happens. Though the betrayal of trust is an open-and-shut case, deciphering the feelings a cheating partner has for their primary partner isn’t so straightforward.

A cheater may be deeply in love with their partner, but still seek something outside of the primary dynamic due to body image issues or commitment issues. Just because you’re in love with someone does not mean you’re now exempt from all worldly temptations. So, it doesn’t matter if you came here trying to find psychological facts about a cheating woman or a man, the fact that the cheater doesn’t necessarily fall out of love with their partner remains the same for all.

6. People cheat even in happy relationships

No, it’s not just a psychological fact about a cheating man, women in happy relationships can cheat too. Unhappiness in the relationship may rank among the top reasons that it happens. One of the first things a cheater says is something along the lines of “I was so unhappy in my relationship, my partner never loved me.” 

But the fact remains that couples who are happy with each other might just end up cheating as well. As you know by now, the reason for such an act doesn’t even have to be due to any external factor. As Pooja pointed out, dominant polyamory traits and/or low level of commitment and body image issues might make a person flip the switch. 

7. A lack of sex doesn’t always lead to cheating

“They must be in a sexless relationship” is usually the first thing a person thinks when they hear of somebody’s infidelity. However, the truth is that a relationship is more than just sex, and infidelity can occur for more than just the lust for sexual pleasure. 

Though a lack of sex may be one of the main reasons that people tend to look elsewhere to fulfill their needs, it’s not a given that any relationship undergoing a dry spell is destined to experience infidelity. The psychological facts about cheating tell us that if a person experiences emotional distress or disrespect in their current dynamic (despite having a great sex life), they may still end up emotionally (or sexually) cheating on their partner.

Related Reading: Dreams‌ ‌About‌ ‌Cheating‌ ‌On‌ ‌Your‌ ‌Partner?‌ ‌Here’s‌ ‌What‌ ‌It‌ ‌Actually‌ ‌Means

8. Cheaters don’t always wish to end their current relationship

Studies on the psychological facts about a cheating woman have proved that most women do not cheat to end their primary relationship. For whatever reason, if a woman decides to cheat, they do it to supplement their primary relationship with an affair, not to end it. 

Perhaps even for those involved in habitual cheating, studies tell us that they may not really be looking to end their relationship. The motivation may come from polyamorous tendencies or a low level of commitment. 

9. Cheating isn’t always planned

If they cheated, they must’ve been thinking about it since day one, right? They must’ve planned the whole thing out in their head. Can’t find any hotel reservations under their name? Well, they probably used a fake name, they’ve been thinking this through since forever, right?

No, not really. “Not everybody makes a flowchart to cheat,” says Pooja. “More often than not, it is the by-product of a lot of circumstantial factors that lead committed people to look outside their primary relationship. These factors can be multiple: emotional, intellectual, and sometimes plain practical like the decreasing time a couple spends with one another, whether they’re losing interest in the relationship, etc.”

Scientific Facts About Cheating

Now that we’ve busted a few myths that people usually hold about cheaters, we may as well take a look at some interesting scientific facts about cheating that most people don’t usually know. Let’s dive in:

• Studies suggest that women are cheating 40% more than they used to, in the last half-century
• A study found that men are more likely to cheat before they reach a milestone birthday, that is, at the ages of 29, 39, 49, and 59
• A study finds that financially dependent spouses are more likely to cheat on their partners. In the case of a wife who is financially dependent on her husband, there’s about a 5% chance that she will cheat. In the case of a financially dependent man on his wife, there’s a 15% chance he will cheat
• On average, people are more likely to cheat with close friends, a study finds
• Older people generally commit more infidelity than younger people

Whether you take a look at the psychological facts about a cheating woman or a man, it’s safe to say that the scientific facts about cheating and the myths we busted definitely do raise an eyebrow or two. The phenomenon is often layered, and can also sometimes be a mindless activity that literally “just happened”.

Infidelity in a relationship is a highly subjective and prickly subject. Most people define it differently, and the psychological facts regarding a cheating man differ from those of a woman. Hopefully, the points we listed out today will help you get a better look at what really goes on behind the scenes, or even help you understand yourself a bit more. 

If you’re currently going through infidelity or something of the sort in your relationship, Bonobology has a multitude of experienced counselors who’d be willing to help you through this trying time. Reach out for help.

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Meeting new people virtually has now become the norm and led to a mushrooming of dating apps in cyberspace. Even though there is a plethora of options to choose from, Bumble remains one of the most popular dating apps, and with good reason. So, if you’re looking to connect with like-minded people and further your romantic prospects in the process, this can be a good place to get started. But how does Bumble work?

It’s important to know the answer to that question to be able to get the most out of the time, effort, and money you invest into this platform. That’s precisely the question we’re here to address today. In this comprehensive guide, we will cover everything from Bumble features to pros and cons, and how people of different sexual and romantic leanings can leverage it optimally.

How Does Bumble Work?

Bumble is a dating app that seeks to empower women by giving them the power to decide whom they want to talk to. Which means women message first, every time. It works differently than other dating apps. That’s the broad answer to how does Bumble work.

Now, let’s get into the technicalities and address another vital question: how does Bumble algorithm work? In most ways, the Bumble dating app works pretty much like any other popular dating app, be it Tinder or Hinge. From setting up your Bumble account to swiping through potential matches and messaging to connect – the broad strokes remain more or less the same.

You get started by setting up a Bumble account and getting it verified. A new user is then open to exploring countless profiles of other users based on their preferences and dating profile settings. To set up a dating profile on Bumble, users have to:

• Install the Bumble dating app from Play Store or App Store
• After you download Bumble, you can sign up using either your Facebook account or your phone number
• Once your phone number or FB account is verified, you can start creating your Bumble profile
• For making your Bumble profile, you will be asked to upload at least one solo picture of yourself
• You will also be asked to authenticate yourself by replicating a pose to get Bumble verification
• It is important to choose the right profile photos so people will swipe right on you. You can add a maximum of six photos. It is advisable to add photos in which people can see you or identify you. Adding photos with a large group of people does not work in favor of getting more matches because it becomes difficult to tell who the profile belongs to
• You are then taken to the ‘Introduce Yourself’ page where you have to fill out details about yourself such as what gender you identify as, your birthday, and your name
• You will be directed to a page where you have to select from the three modes of the app. You can either choose Bumble Date for finding potential dates, Bumble BFF for finding new friends, or lastly Bumble Bizz for casual professional networking and set your Bumble filters accordingly
• After that, you have to set your preference on whether you would like to get Bumble matches from men or women or everyone
• Next comes your Bumble bio – make sure you write something that reflects your personality
• Once you’re done setting up your account and selecting the Bumble mode you want to surf other profiles on, you’re good to go!
• To send a like to a profile, swipe right. To dismiss a profile or remove it, swipe left. You also have the option to block in case you come across a profile you wish to avoid
• There is also a report option that lets you flag profiles in case a user is impersonating someone, sending unsolicited texts, putting someone else in danger, being offensive, etc. The report button is meant to make the app experience safe and secure for Bumble users
• You can use Bumble coins to upgrade your account to the premium version of the app

Related Reading: 15 Valuable Tips To Save Yourself From Catfishing

Bumble Key Features

Bumble works like most popular dating apps but has many added features that make it a crowd favorite. The Bumble app works in two modes, the free version and the Bumble premium. Not all the features for both modes are different, though Bumble premium has all the features of the free version, with added benefits.

Anyone can sign up for free and choose to buy a premium plan at a later stage. You can also choose to stop paying for Bumble premium and get back to using the free version, although the added features will be removed once your premium pack runs out. It is a location-based dating app, which makes it simpler to find people near you just by setting the Bumble location filter to your liking. Here is a detailed lowdown of the app’s free and premium features:

Features of the free version of the Bumble app include:

• Swiping on a limited number of profiles a day
• Access matches
• One Bumble boost per day
• Filter profiles based on preferred age, location/distance, and gender
• Send texts, voice notes, and photos

Features of Bumble Premium include:

• All of the features of the free version, along with
• Ability to access your Bumble Beeline – the match queue
• Chance to re-match with expired connections
• Bumble Boost for every match
• Re-do left swipes made by accident
• Use SuperSwipe
• Boost yourself with Spotlight
• Get unlimited swipes every day
• Unlock unlimited advanced filters
• Be able to match with people using TravelMode
• Be able to use Incognito mode for added privacy

One of the most frequently asked questions about the premium version of the app is, “How does incognito mode work on Bumble?” The “Incognito Mode” can be found in the settings of your Bumble premium account. When using this mode, a Bumble user is hidden from every other profile, and their identity is only revealed to the profile they swipe right on. The Incognito Mode can be easily disabled from the settings.

To truly understand the answer to how does Bumble work, you need an insight into its unique features such as BFF, Boost, and Spotlight. So, let’s get started.

How does Bumble BFF work?

Bumble BFF works the same way as Bumble Date or Bumble Bizz. The only difference is that Bumble users in the BFF section aren’t looking to exclusively date but rather to make friends, or in technical terms, to find someone for platonic dating. You still have to swipe right on profiles that you’d like to be your BFF and swipe left on profiles of no interest.

Bumble filters also remain the same as does the time restriction for sending and receiving the first message within 24 hours of connecting with someone. You can, however, save a match in your Bumble match queue using Bumble Boost. All in all, there isn’t much difference between Bumble BFF and other Bumble modes.

Related Reading: Platonic Soulmate – What Is It? 8 Signs You Found Yours

How does Bumble Boost work?

You can use Bumble Boost to revive your expired matches on Bumble. Those using the free version get one Bumble boost per day and users with a Bumble premium subscription plan get the option to save all expired matches in their match queue. When a Bumble chat starts and both people text each other within 24 hours, the gray circle around their profile picture turns yellow.

What is Bumble Spotlight?

The Bumble Spotlight feature is exclusive to the paid version of the app and can be used to access a wider user base and get more matches.

Bumble pricing

There is a stark difference in how the Bumble algorithm works in the free version versus the premium. As with any popular dating app, here too there are many options to choose from when looking to buy a Bumble Premium subscription plan:

• 1 week at $19.99
• 1 month at $39.99
• 3 months at $76.99
• Lifetime for $229.99

Besides the premium plan, you also have the option of an in-app purchase of Bumble Boost, at:

• 1 week at $8.99
• 1 month at $16.99
• 3 months at 33.99
• 6 months at $54.99

Of course, you can always just download Bumble and use its free version. You can also recharge your free version of the app with Bumble coins if you wish to upgrade to premium any time later.

How does the Bumble algorithm work?

Like many other dating apps, the Bumble dating app also hasn’t made its algorithm public. So, there we cannot give you an accurate answer to how does Bumble algorithm work. But we can make a pretty good guess at how it works, based on its features. It uses an algorithm to match users based on their interests, values, and preferences.

Bumble, like other dating apps, promotes well-made profiles, so one needs to know how to make an effective profile. Meaning if your profile has blurry photos, offensive prompts, unclear location details, or the like, then you will be shown fewer matches. On the other hand, well-made profiles with good-quality pictures, interesting prompts, and more interactions in a day are promoted by the algorithm and shown to more and more Bumble users. One of the most important factors is having a good Bumble bio.

A pro tip to make the algorithm work for you is to give your profile a makeover with the best possible photos and prompts and by using respectful language.

Related Reading: Online Dating Profile Examples To Attract Men

Bumble Pros And Cons – See If It’s The Right Fit For You

While Bumble has been a pathbreaking addition to the work of online dating, it has its share of drawbacks and areas where it could use some improvement. If you’re still not quite sure whether it’d be the right fit for you, a close look at the Bumble pros and cons may help you make up your mind:

How Does Bumble Work For Women

The Bumble app was created as a feminist counterpart of Tinder, giving women full control to make the first move and revolutionize online dating for women.

Monica Anderson, Emily A. Vogels, and Erica Turner of The Pew Research Center wrote in a study, “30% of U.S. adults say they have used a dating site or app. A majority of online daters say their overall experience was positive, but many users – particularly younger women – report being harassed or sent explicit messages on these platforms”.

So, Bumble has taken it upon itself to provide women with additional safety features such as the ability to hide their profile from certain men, and the ability to message first. This ensures that women are in control of all interactions on the app, making it a safe and secure platform for finding potential dates.

So, how does Bumble work for women? Well, in the case of heterosexual matches on the online dating app, women must send the first message within 24 hours or they lose the connection. After she has sent the text, the man must also respond to the first text within 24 hours or the Bumble chats disappear and the match is lost. In the case of queer matches, if they both identify as females, either can send the first message, but here too, the recipient must respond within 24 hours or the connection is lost. Being mindful of the 24-hour window on the first interactions is the key to figuring out how to make Bumble messaging work for you.

In both cases, once both parties have exchanged their first texts, the 24-hour restriction is removed. From here, you can take the conversation forward at your own pace. Although there is a pressure to send the perfect first text. Also in both cases, women can still use the option of Bumble Boost to extend their connection if a match expires.

The Bumble app also provides features other than texting for ice-breaking such as GIFs or question prompts. Let’s take a look at how does Bumble work for guys next.

How Does Bumble Work For Men

After going through so many features for women, it’s only natural to be curious about how does Bumble work for men and whether it is any different. Bumble more or less works the same way for men as it does for women. They get access to a number of dating profiles which they can then swipe right or swipe left on. The only difference is that men aren’t allowed to send the first text even if they match with a woman.

After getting a match, they must wait for the women to send an ice-breaker text within 24 hours and must also remember to respond to it in 24 hours. It is important to start a good Bumble conversation. However, it is important to mention that men can also use Bumble Boost to extend one match on the free version and get unlimited boosts on the premium version. In the case of same-sex couples, either party can initiate a conversation, although within the time frame of 24 hours.

Related Reading: 12 Best Polyamorous Dating Sites For 2022

How Does Bumble Work For The LGBT+ Community

A study by Molly Grace Smith of the University of California says that sexual minorities are more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to use mobile dating applications. Queer women identify the internet as a powerful means of connection, yet their use of popular dating apps has received little scholarly attention.

It further stated that queer women reported that matching with other users reduced uncertainty surrounding sexuality, since there is a broad sexuality spectrum, and reciprocity of interest, and the apps provided a visualization of other queer women and gave rise to a sense of community.

So, how does Bumble work for LGBT+ community? Well, Bumble’s foundations are pretty heteronormative, but they deserve credit for expanding the platform to include all types of romantic and non-romantic matches. Bumble matches work the same for all users. Be it same gender matches with two non-binary people, or more matches with people who identify as other gender or sexual orientation on Bumble, the rules are always the same.

Although the app was initially created to empower women and give them the ability to control the narrative of their online dating experiences, it is growing as a leading dating app for the LGBT+ community, too.

“I definitely enjoy the ‘on my terms’ aspect of Bumble,” says Koby O., a queer woman who has tried a variety of dating apps before. “I liked that when I matched with men [on Bumble], they couldn’t message me first, but if I matched with a woman or non-binary person, either one of us could message first. It definitely reduces the instances of grossness or inappropriate solicitation,” she told Teen Vogue.

A 28-year-old Abby says, “There is the most number of queer women on Bumble from what I’ve found. So ultimately, of all the dating apps I’ve used, I’ve met the most women through Bumble.” It seems that Bumble is one of the most preferred apps by the LGBT+ community to find their future beau.

Related Reading: Top 12 Best LGBTQ Dating Apps- UPDATED LIST 2022

Our Verdict

Bumble is a fun way to find connections whether you are looking for casual dating, finding a partner, making friends, or networking for professional growth. The app’s algorithm gives priority to making women and people of the LGBT+ community feel safe and in control by giving them the lead in making conversation and the options to block or report certain malicious profiles. Bumble for dating is one of the most inclusive and safe apps on the market for women and people of the LGBT+ community to find potential dates.

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In this guide, I will teach you about the four types of attachment styles in dating.

As an accredited therapist and coach, I will also provide you with actionable tips that you can use right away to meet, attract and date women.

 Continue reading to improve your dating success and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for my latest articles.

Secure Attachment Style

Secure individuals feel comfortable in relationships, trust their partners easily, and are capable of both giving and receiving support.

They communicate openly and maintain a healthy balance between their own needs and their partner’s needs.

Action step

• Recognize and appreciate the qualities of secure attachment in potential partners, as they can contribute to a stable and fulfilling relationship.
• Strive to develop your own secure attachment style by focusing on building self-esteem, trust, and effective communication skills.

Cultivating a secure attachment style within yourself and seeking partners who exhibit these qualities can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships built on trust, open communication, and mutual support.

Anxious Attachment Style

Anxiously attached individuals often seek reassurance and validation from their partners.

They may worry about their partner’s commitment and feel uneasy if they perceive any distance in the relationship.

Action step

• Be patient and understanding if you’re interested in someone with an anxious attachment style.
• Provide reassurance and consistent communication to help alleviate their insecurities.
• Set healthy boundaries and communicate openly to prevent becoming overly entangled in their anxieties or feeling overwhelmed.

By practicing patience, providing reassurance, and establishing healthy boundaries, you can successfully navigate a relationship with someone who has an anxious attachment style, fostering a more secure and balanced connection.

Avoidant Attachment Style

Those with an avoidant attachment style tend to value their independence and may feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness or vulnerability.

They may create emotional distance and avoid commitment to protect themselves.

Action step

• Be respectful of an avoidant partner’s need for personal space and independence.
• Also express your own needs and desires in the relationship.
• Encourage open communication, gradually building trust and intimacy over time.

By respecting personal boundaries, communicating openly, and fostering trust gradually, you can create a stronger connection with an avoidant partner, helping them feel more secure and comfortable in the relationship.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style

Fearful-avoidant individuals have a complicated relationship with attachment, as they simultaneously desire closeness and fear being hurt.

This can lead to inconsistent behavior and difficulty trusting others.

Action step

• Approach a fearful-avoidant partner with patience and empathy, understanding that their behavior stems from past experiences.
• Prioritize building trust and creating a safe space for open communication.
• This will help them feel more secure and eventually allow them to open up.

By approaching fearful-avoidant partners with patience, empathy, and a focus on trust-building, you can help them overcome their fears and establish a more secure, open, and fulfilling relationship.

Conclusion

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Resources

1. Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524. This foundational study by Hazan and Shaver conceptualizes romantic love as an attachment process, building on the attachment theory first introduced by John Bowlby. The authors explore how attachment styles influence romantic relationships and establish the three primary attachment styles: secure, anxious-ambivalent, and avoidant (now subdivided into dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant). This study serves as a basis for understanding the role of attachment styles in the context of romantic relationships.
2. Feeney, J. A., & Noller, P. (1990). Attachment style as a predictor of adult romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58(2), 281-291. This study by Feeney and Noller investigates the role of attachment styles as predictors of adult romantic relationships. The researchers found that individuals with secure attachment styles were more likely to have long-lasting relationships, while those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles experienced more difficulties in their romantic lives. The study highlights the significance of understanding attachment styles in the context of relationship outcomes.
3. Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. Guilford Press. In their comprehensive book, Mikulincer and Shaver review numerous studies on attachment theory and its implications for adult relationships. The authors cover various topics related to attachment, including its influence on romantic relationships, mental health, and the potential for change in attachment patterns over time. This book provides valuable insights into the importance of attachment styles for individuals seeking to form and maintain healthy relationships.

In this article, I will teach you how to get over a girl according to psychology and science.

As an accredited therapist and coach, I will also give you actionable advice that you can use right away to feel better.

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Accept your emotions

It’s natural to feel a mix of sadness, anger, and even guilt.

Instead of avoiding these emotions, allow yourself to experience them.

Research shows that processing emotions is key to overcoming them.

Action Points:

• Recognize and acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
• Set aside time to reflect on your emotions through journaling or meditation.
• Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings to gain a different perspective.

Seek closure

Closure is a psychological concept that suggests we need a sense of resolution to move forward.

It’s important to reflect on the relationship, its ups and downs, and what you learned from it.

Action Points:

• Write a letter to your ex (without sending it) to express your thoughts and feelings.
• Make a list of lessons learned from the relationship to identify patterns and personal growth.
• Perform a symbolic gesture, like deleting pictures or packing away mementos, to signify the end of the relationship.

Create new memories

Neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change and adapt, plays a crucial role in healing.

By creating new memories and experiences, you can reshape your neural pathways and decrease the emotional intensity of memories tied to your ex.

Action Points:

• Pursue new hobbies or interests to create fresh experiences.
• Travel or explore new places, even within your own city.
• Attend social events and engage with new people to build new connections.

Focus on self-care

Prioritizing self-care can have a positive impact on your mental health and wellbeing.

Taking care of your physical health by eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep can also influence the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like serotonin and endorphins, which can help lift your mood.

Action Points:

• Develop a healthy routine, including balanced meals, regular exercise, and adequate sleep.
• Set aside time for relaxation and activities that bring joy, such as reading or listening to music.
• Establish personal goals and work towards them to regain a sense of control and purpose.

Utilize social support

Connecting with friends and family can help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup.

Research indicates that social support is vital for emotional recovery and building resilience.

Action Points:

• Reach out to friends and family members for emotional support and encouragement.
• Join a support group or online community to connect with others who share similar experiences.
• Schedule regular social activities to maintain connections and avoid isolation.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you manage negative thoughts and feelings.

Practicing mindfulness increases self-awareness, allowing you to identify and process emotions more effectively.

Action Points:

• Dedicate time each day to practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises.
• Try yoga or tai chi to combine mindfulness with physical activity.
• Use a mindfulness app or take a mindfulness course to deepen your practice and understanding.

Consider therapy

If you’re struggling to get over a girl, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be beneficial.

A therapist can provide coping strategies, support, and guidance tailored to your unique situation.

Action Points:

• Research local therapists or online counseling platforms to find the right fit for your needs.
• Schedule an initial consultation to discuss your situation and goals for therapy.
• Commit to attending therapy sessions regularly for consistent progress and support.

Be patient with yourself

Healing takes time, and there’s no specific timeline for getting over someone.

The process varies from person to person, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself.

Remember, growth and healing are not linear; there may be setbacks along the way, but every step counts.

Action Points:

• Set realistic expectations for the healing process and recognize that it takes time.
• Practice self-compassion and kindness when setbacks occur.
• Celebrate small achievements and progress along your journey to recovery.

Conclusion

• Getting over a girl can be challenging and it is normal to feel a sense of sadness.
• By taking action in accepting your emotions you will be well on your way to healing.
• Getting over a girl will ultimately lead to more resilience and increased personal growth.

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Resources

1. Study on Accepting Emotions: “The Psychological Health Benefits of Accepting Negative Emotions and Thoughts: Laboratory, Diary, and Longitudinal Evidence.” This study provides evidence that accepting negative emotions and thoughts can lead to better psychological health. The research demonstrates the importance of allowing yourself to experience emotions during the healing process after a breakup.
2. Study on Social Support: “Social Support and Resilience to Stress: From Neurobiology to Clinical Practice.” This research highlights the role of social support in coping with stress and its neurobiological underpinnings. The study emphasizes the importance of connecting with friends and family to help navigate the emotional challenges of a breakup.
3. Study on Mindfulness: “Effectiveness of a Meditation-Based Stress Reduction Program in the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders.” This study investigates the effectiveness of mindfulness-based stress reduction in the treatment of anxiety disorders, which can be applicable to the emotional turmoil experienced after a breakup. The results show that mindfulness techniques can be beneficial in managing negative thoughts and feelings.

Rapid business growth can be an exciting yet daunting process. On the one hand, it’s a sign that your hard work is paying off and that you have the potential to become an even bigger success. On the other hand, it can be difficult to handle because of all the new demands and responsibilities that come with it. Below are some key tips to help you manage rapid business growth. 

Prepare for Growth in Advance 

It’s important to plan ahead when you anticipate a period of rapid growth. Think about what resources you may need in order to handle the extra demand. For example, if you anticipate needing more personnel, then make sure you have enough funds available to hire and train additional staff members. You should also consider how long it will take for new hires to become productive so that you don’t end up falling behind on your workload or missing out on opportunities due to lack of manpower. 

Put Systems in Place 

When your business starts growing quickly, it’s easy for processes and operations to get out of control if there aren’t any systems or procedures already in place. Make sure that everyone knows their roles and responsibilities so that tasks are completed efficiently and effectively. It may also be helpful to put together organizational charts or job descriptions so that everyone knows exactly what they should be doing at all times. This will help keep things running smoothly during periods of rapid growth. 

Invest in Technology 

Technology can be a great way to streamline processes, automate tasks, and reduce overhead costs. Investing in technology isn’t always cheap, but it can be a great way to improve efficiency and help manage rapid business growth. Look into options like automation software, customer relationship management systems (CRMs), or even artificial intelligence (AI) solutions to see what might work best for your company.   

Upgrade Your Accounting Software 

A business experiencing fast expansion needs to keep up with its financial demands, and traditional accounting methods may not suffice. With upgrades in accounting software, you can streamline much of the process and ensure that you stay on top of financial obligations. The right software can help you manage cash flow, monitor inventory, and simplify the bookkeeping process, freeing up your time to focus on growing your business. As your business continues to expand, consider making the investment in upgraded accounting software to help streamline your financial processes and maintain your growth trajectory.

Delegate Responsibilities 

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One of the most common mistakes entrepreneurs make when their businesses start growing rapidly is trying to do too much themselves. It can be tempting to try and take on everything yourself—but this isn’t sustainable in the long run. As soon as you can afford it, start delegating responsibilities so that different aspects of your business are managed by qualified professionals or teams within your organization. This will not only free up your time but also allow you to focus on what truly matters—growing your company.

Evaluate Your Resources & Abilities  

Make sure you evaluate your resources and abilities as well as those of your employees when dealing with rapid business growth. Are there any areas where additional training would be beneficial? Do you have enough space for new personnel or equipment? It is important to assess these things before attempting any major expansions or investments in order to ensure success in the future.  Additionally, it is important for leaders within the organization to remain flexible during times of change since this will allow them to adjust quickly as needed rather than getting stuck in their old ways.   

With proper preparation and planning, managing rapid business growth can be both rewarding and successful! Taking the time upfront to strategize and put systems into place will save time down the road when things start moving quickly.

Additionally, evaluating resources and abilities can help identify areas where improvement is needed so that businesses can continue growing without missing any opportunities along the way! By utilizing these tips, business owners can ensure their companies stay on track during periods of rapid expansion.

Chicago is known for its skyscrapers, art, music, and sports teams. It is also home to a large population of successful, wealthy men. If you are looking to meet rich men in Chicago, there are several places you can go to increase your chances of success.

Chicago is one of the most vibrant and diverse cities in the United States and has many successful and wealthy men with a bustling business district, high-end restaurants, and exclusive clubs and bars. There are plenty of opportunities to meet rich men in Chicago. The city’s rich cultural and arts scene and world-renowned museums and galleries make it an attractive destination for the affluent.

Top places to meet rich men in Chicago.

• Chicago Athletic Association

The Chicago Athletic Association is a historic building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, USA. It was originally built in 1893 as a private club for athletes and sports enthusiasts, and it was one of the most prestigious clubs in the city at the time. The building’s design is a stunning example of the Venetian Gothic style, which was popular in the late 19th century.

Over the years, the Chicago Athletic Association has hosted various events and has been used for different purposes. In the early 20th century, it was a popular spot for businessmen to gather and socialize. It was used as a temporary barracks for soldiers during World War II. In the 1970s, the building fell into disrepair and was eventually closed.

In recent years, the building has been restored and converted into a boutique hotel. The restoration project aimed to preserve the historic architecture of the building while adding modern amenities and features to make it a comfortable and luxurious place to stay. The hotel now offers guest rooms, restaurants, bars, and event spaces. All while maintaining the character and charm of the original building.

The Aviary is a high-end cocktail bar and restaurant in Chicago, Illinois, USA. It was opened in 2011 by Grant Achatz and Nick Kokonas, who also own the Michelin-starred restaurant Alinea.

The Aviary is known for its innovative and experimental approach to cocktail making, using techniques such as molecular gastronomy and incorporating unusual ingredients and flavors. The bar’s menu is divided into different sections, each offering a unique experience. For example, the “Kitchen” section features cocktails made with culinary techniques and ingredients, while the “Bubble Room” section offers carbonated or foam drinks.

One of the most popular drinks at The Aviary is the “In the Rocks” cocktail, served in a glass carved from a single block of ice. The drink is made by pouring a mixture of bourbon, vermouth, and bitters into the ice sphere. Which slowly melts as the drink is enjoyed, creating a unique flavor profile.

In addition to its cocktail menu, The Aviary also offers a small selection of dishes, including small plates and desserts. The restaurant’s interior is sleek and modern, with a minimalist design allowing cocktails to take center stage.

Exclusive Clubs and Bars

Exclusive clubs and bars are the perfect places to start if you want a sophisticated environment to meet wealthy men. These venues offer a luxurious atmosphere and attract a high-end clientele. Some of Chicago’s top exclusive clubs and bars include the Soho House, The Drake Hotel, and the Waldorf Astoria.

• Gibson’s Bar & Steakhouse

Gibson’s Bar & Steakhouse is a classic American steakhouse in Chicago, Illinois, USA. It was founded in 1989 and has become one of the city’s most popular and well-known steakhouses.

The restaurant offers a variety of high-quality steaks, including filet mignon, New York strip, ribeye, and porterhouse, all aged for at least 40 days to enhance their flavor and tenderness. In addition to steaks, the menu also features seafood, salads, sandwiches, and other classic American dishes.

Gibson’s Bar & Steakhouse is known for its lively and energetic atmosphere, with a bustling bar and a dining room always packed with locals and tourists alike. The restaurant’s interior is classic and timeless, with dark wood paneling, leather booths, and vintage decor.

One of the signature dishes at Gibson’s is “Gibson’s Martini.” It is served in a chilled martini glass and garnished with blue cheese-stuffed olives. The restaurant also offers an extensive wine list featuring worldwide reds, whites, and sparkling wines.

Drumbar is a rooftop lounge and bar in Chicago, Illinois, USA. It is situated on the 18th floor of the Raffaello Hotel, offering stunning views of the city’s skyline.

The bar has a speakeasy vibe, with a cozy and intimate interior featuring leather couches, dim lighting, and a fireplace. In addition to the indoor seating, Drumbar has an outdoor terrace with comfortable seating and a fire pit, making it the perfect spot to enjoy a drink on a warm summer night.

Drumbar’s cocktail menu features a variety of classic and modern cocktails, all made with high-quality ingredients and expertly crafted by the bar’s skilled mixologists. The bar is known for its extensive whiskey selection, including rare and hard-to-find bottles worldwide.

One of the most popular drinks at Drumbar is the “Smoke Signal,” made with mezcal, grapefruit, honey, and lime. The drink is served in a smoked glass, giving it a unique and flavorful twist.

RPM Steak is a modern steakhouse in downtown Chicago, Illinois, USA. The restaurant is part of the RPM Hospitality group, which includes other popular dining destinations such as RPM Italian and RPM Seafood.

RPM Steak offers a contemporary take on the classic American steakhouse, featuring high-quality meats and seafood, creative side dishes, and a world-class wine list. The restaurant’s menu includes a variety of steak cuts, such as filet mignon, ribeye, and wagyu beef, all prepared to the diner’s preferred temperature.

In addition to its steaks, RPM Steak offers an extensive seafood selection, including raw bar items like oysters and shellfish platters and cooked seafood dishes like grilled octopus and Dover sole. The restaurant’s side dishes are also not to be missed, with options like truffle fries, roasted mushrooms, and creamed spinach.

The interior of RPM Steak is sleek and modern, with a mix of leather banquettes, dark wood accents, and contemporary artwork. The restaurant also features an outdoor patio, perfect for al fresco dining during the warmer months.

RPM Steak is known for its exceptional service and attention to detail, with a knowledgeable and passionate staff about food and wine. The restaurant’s extensive wine list is curated by a team of expert sommeliers. Features over 500 selections worldwide, making it a destination for wine enthusiasts.

Celeste is a bar and restaurant in the River North neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois, USA. The establishment is housed in a historic building that dates back to the 1880s. It has been restored to its former glory, with classic details like exposed brick walls, hardwood floors, and ornate ceilings.

The menu at Celeste features modern American cuisine with a focus on seasonal ingredients and creative flavor combinations. The dinner menu includes small plates, such as beef tartare, crab cakes, and roasted bone marrow, and entrees like roasted chicken, grilled steak, and seared salmon.

Celeste is also known for its cocktails, which the bar’s skilled mixologists expertly craft. The cocktail menu features classic drinks like the Old Fashioned and the Manhattan and creative and unique creations like the “Cinnamon Toast Punch” and the “Maple Fashioned.”

In addition to its dining and drinking options, Celeste also features a rooftop terrace that offers stunning city skyline views. The rooftop is open year-round, with a retractable glass roof and heaters to keep patrons warm during the colder months.

The ambiance at Celeste is upscale and sophisticated, with a mix of vintage and modern decor elements. The bar features plush leather seating, elegant light fixtures, and a cozy fireplace, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.

The Violet Hour is a renowned cocktail bar in Chicago, Illinois, USA. The establishment was opened in 2007 and quickly gained a reputation as one of the city’s best bars, known for its exceptional cocktails, elegant ambiance, and knowledgeable staff.

The bar’s interior features vintage and modern elements, with plush velvet couches, antique mirrors, and custom light fixtures. The atmosphere is upscale and sophisticated, with a dress code in place to ensure a classy experience for all patrons.

The cocktail menu at The Violet Hour is extensive, featuring classic drinks like the Old Fashioned and the Manhattan and creative and innovative concoctions crafted by the bar’s talented mixologists. The ingredients are carefully sourced, and the drinks are made with precision and care.

The bar also offers a small selection of bar bites, such as charcuterie and cheese plates, and desserts, like chocolate mousse and cheesecake. The Violet Hour’s attention to detail extends to its food offerings, which are made with high-quality ingredients and presented beautifully.

One unique aspect of The Violet Hour is its policy of no cell phones or photography inside the bar. This creates a more intimate and social atmosphere. Encouraging patrons to focus on their cocktails and conversations rather than their screens.

Conclusion

Meeting rich men in Chicago is not difficult if you know where to look. Exclusive clubs and bars, fine dining restaurants, luxury hotels, high-end gyms, fitness centers, charity events and galas, and cultural and art events are all great places to meet wealthy men. Remember to dress to impress, be confident, and be approachable. With these tips, you will find the man of your dreams in Chicago.

Top Dating Sites to Meet Rich Men in Chicago

MillionaireMatch 

Are you in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman? This can be a tricky question to answer because emotional maturity or lack thereof can seem like an intangible concept to most. However, it isn’t really. In the world of psychology, emotional immaturity is clearly defined. In fact, the American Psychological Association defines emotional immaturity as “a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionately to the situation”. Handling emotional immaturity in any situation is tough, but becomes doubly difficult if you’re in a relationship with an emotionally immature partner.

Difficulty in communicating, expressing emotions, and handling social situations are just a few of the issues you’ll face when in an emotionally immature relationship. Emotionally immature women tend to struggle with forming healthy relationships – the same is true of emotionally immature men as well, but since the manifestations can be different, in this article we’ll focus solely on what a relationship with a woman who lacks emotional maturity can feel like. Without further ado, here we present to you the 17 signs you’re with an emotionally immature woman and how to deal with this situation.

17 Signs You’re With An Emotionally Immature Woman

Before we get into signs of emotional immaturity, let’s take a look at signs of emotional maturity. An emotionally mature person is able to:

• Show vulnerability
• Be empathetic
• Own up to their mistakes
• Set healthy boundaries

A person who isn’t fully evolved emotionally struggles with each one of these things. While research isn’t clear on what is the exact cause of emotional immaturity, the one factor common across all cases is being mistreated or abused as a child. A study says child abuse and neglect affect social cognition in children and inhibit social adjustment. This renders a child unable to regulate their emotions, causing them to grow into emotionally immature adults. They have no clue what a mature relationship looks like.

If you’re trying to identify whether your partner is an emotionally immature woman, here are some behavioral traits that might make it clearer:

• She tends to blame others for things going wrong
• She tends to lie to get out of uncomfortable situations or conversations
• She is reckless and unable to control her impulses
• She tends to bully others to get what she wants
• She cries easily, gets angry quickly, and throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way
• Her self-worth is tied to the relationship

If these behavioral traits are characteristics of your girlfriend/wife at all times, you need to pay attention to the warning signs before things get too out of control for you to handle. To that end, here are 17 most telling signs you’re with an emotionally immature woman:

1. She is unable to discuss uncomfortable things

One of the most obvious signs of emotional immaturity is the inability to discuss uncomfortable feelings. Emotional immaturity can cause people to be out of touch with their feelings and emotions. Being unable to process or explain complicated emotions is a huge warning sign your partner is emotionally immature. This lack of ability to communicate her emotions properly can lead to bad communication in the relationship, which can manifest in several ways:

• She is unable to converse about feelings without getting defensive
• She is unable to express her emotions in words
• She chooses to act out in destructive ways

If there is a way to avoid talking about her feelings, you best believe that she will find it. This inability to discuss uncomfortable things will severely stunt the growth of your relationship.

Related Reading: Communication Problems In Relationships – 11 Ways To Overcome

2. It’s like she never left high school

All of us know at least one person who never grew up. And if you’re with an emotionally immature woman, it can feel like high school never ended. Her behavior makes it obvious she never matured beyond her high-school years. She still cannot stop thinking or talking about her past hookups or is still obsessed with “being cool”.

If she still acts like she’s trying to be cooler than others and taking mean digs at everyone she has deemed a ‘nerd,’ you can bet every dime you have that she’s heading toward a trainwreck.

3. She’s extremely impulsive

People who are not emotionally immature tend to be extremely impulsive. This trait is often exhibited by children as well since they are yet to learn how to regulate their emotions. There is an obvious need to get emotional validation in all relationships.
• Speaking out of turn
• Touching things that need to be left alone
• Saying stuff without thinking of its effect on others

While most children learn how to stop doing these things over time, some grow into emotionally immature adults who never managed to learn how to curb their impulses. If you’re with an emotionally immature woman, this is an important warning sign. She’ll tend to act in unpredictable or anti-social ways, which may even land you in some serious trouble.

4. Only her needs matter

Emotionally immature people can be very self-absorbed and tend to think just about themselves. They never learned that they cannot get everything they want in the world and this shows up in their behavior. Your emotionally immature partner will not care about anything except her needs being met.

If you think she is selfish and self-absorbed to the extent that she finds it difficult to comprehend how the world works, it’s a major red flag. Life with such a partner can feel like a constant ‘my way or the highway’ situation. Lying, blame-shifting, temper tantrums – there are no holds barred until her needs are met.

5. She’d rather run than handle stress

Emotional immaturity also takes the form of avoidance – running away from stressful situations rather than facing them head-on. She would much rather break up than figure out how to make up. God forbid if a little complication arises, she’ll be out before you can even say relationship! This can leave you two trapped in a vicious on-again-off-again relationship.

It can be easy to make judgments in this case, but this behavior points more toward her coping skills than anything else. She might not have enough ways of coping with stress or has probably faced many stressful situations in her life without the appropriate coping mechanisms. That’s probably also why she displays clear commitment issues. Here, patience and communication are the key to preventing the slightest of problems from snowballing out of control.

Related Reading: 20 Best Relaxation Gifts For Her To Relieve Stress

6. Passive aggressiveness is the only language she speaks

Another thing you’ll notice in an emotionally immature woman is her tendency of showing her feelings rather than talk about them. Nobody likes having to decode cryptic words, but that is exactly what you’ll find yourself doing if you’re in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman.

She only ever learned how to communicate in passive-aggressive ways, such as:

• Slamming doors
• Giving you the silent treatment
• Glaring at you for no reason
• Sighing heavily until you ask her the problem instead of communicating directly

So if your girlfriend only behaves passive-aggressively during times of conflict, it’s a major red flag.

7. She demands constant attention

Just like children get bored when people stop paying attention to them, so do immature adults. If you’re with an emotionally immature woman, she will do everything to draw the focus back to herself, which includes acting out in negative ways.
• She might interject herself into conversations she shouldn’t be a part of
• Crack inappropriate jokes to draw attention to herself.

Her self-worth will be attached to the amount of attention in the relationship she receives and so she will try everything in her power to keep the spotlight on herself. She seems to have sworn she will not be ignored no matter what. It’s one of the several warning signs that her emotions are always in overdrive and she is yet to learn how to control them.

8. You notice signs of narcissism

Maturity requires an ability to think about others as well. But immature people find it hard to put other people’s needs above their own and only care about themselves. That’s why these people tend to be extremely self-centred.

If you’re dating an emotionally immature woman, she might display traits of narcissism which should be one of the major warning signs for you. She will never be able to take your likes, dislikes, and preferences into account and will always try to have her way. And the minute she’s happy, she will forget all about you.

9. She expects you to take care of her full-time

An emotionally immature woman relationship feels like constantly trying to put out a fire. You may notice she’s codependent rather than interdependent. Since her self-worth and self-confidence are tied to the relationship, she learns to develop unhealthy bonds without leaving space for communication or boundaries.

As a result, she will expect you to fulfill all her emotional needs and take care of her full-time. She doesn’t seem to understand you have your own life and responsibilities. Since she has enough maturity to understand you’re the mature one in the relationship, she will leave everything to you and you find yourself in the role of the caretaker.

Related Reading: 10 Indisputable Signs Of A Codependent Relationship

10. Her emotions are always in overdrive

Emotionally immature women also tend to be overly emotional and react in childish ways when triggered. Since emotionally immature adults are unable to manage their emotions and get angry easily and quickly, their emotions always seem to be in overdrive. If she’s uncomfortable, everyone around her will know about it.

Let’s take a situation here. She wanted a chocolate gelato cone but the only shop she wants it from is out of chocolate flavor. Instead of choosing some other flavor, she chooses to yell at the server about why they are out of her favorite flavor. Sounds familiar? You are always walking on eggshells around her and spend your time worried about what’s going to set her off next.

11. She knows how to push all your buttons

Everyone has something that will always set them off, no matter what. And it may feel like she purposely tries to push your buttons to provoke you. She likes to do this to make you angry since she is unable to confront her feelings about something that you handled maturely.

Whether it’s subtle or outright manipulation in the relationship, it can very well be considered abuse. Either way, this is a major red flag that should not be ignored and a major warning sign that this relationship is far from healthy and perhaps not worth pursuing.

12. You don’t feel an emotional connection with her

One of the most frustrating signs you’re with an emotionally immature woman is that you won’t feel any deep connection with her. Since emotionally immature women struggle with their own emotions, they also find it hard to form deep, meaningful connections with others. You will also pick up signs of commitment issues in her behavior. It will feel like she’s always holding something back or she’s choosing not to be emotionally intimate with you. This emotional distance will make it hard for you both to have a successful relationship.

If you notice this sign, you’re going to be wondering how to succeed in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman. One option is to try couples counseling but it will only prove effective if she is willing to work on herself. One thing is for sure though, this emotional distance will make you feel disconnected, disillusioned, and a little lonely in your relationship.

13. She never admits her fault

Emotional maturity is when people can own up to their mistakes. But if you’re dealing with an emotionally immature woman, you’ll notice she never actually owns up to or admits her fault. She is never wrong, well, at least not according to her.

She has a hard time admitting she made a mistake and finds it impossible to apologize for it. And if you, somehow, manage to wrangle an apology out of her, it will be meaningless and insincere. She’d sooner shut down or explode than admit she made a mistake. And forget about her making amends for her mistakes – you can wait until you’re old and gray, but that apology and those amends will never come!

Related Reading: When Acceptance, Love And Respect Is Lost In A Relationship

14. Everything is a big deal

Emotionally immature women tend to think everything revolves around them. And they end up taking every little thing personally. Everything will be a big deal to her and small things will be enough to make her erupt like a volcano.

You might think forgetting to call her one night is not a big deal. But she will take it personally and make a huge stink out of it instead of understanding people make mistakes. She will overreact to everything and navigating the ups and downs of her feelings will be very exhausting for you. And breaking up with an emotionally immature woman can be even harder for this very reason.

15. She’s too clingy

There is a fine line between wanting to feel loved and being unnecessarily clingy or needy. And if you feel your partner has crossed it, it can be very problematic for the relationship. If you feel your partner needs reassurance for no reason or demands every single second of your time, it can quickly become suffocating. Here are some tell-tale signs that your partner is clingy in a relationship:

• She gets jealous easily
• She constantly needs reassurance that you love her and are not going to leave her
• She always wants to know where you are and what you’re doing
• She cancels her plans just to spend more time with you

All these behaviors might seem cute in the beginning but can quickly become suffocating. The reason your woman displays these is that she might have low self-confidence or self-esteem issues. But regardless of whether she has self-confidence or not, this behavior gets in the way of your ability to build a healthy relationship with her. After all, successful relationships are built on the foundation of trust, respect, and space for each partner’s individuality to thrive.

16. The word compromise doesn’t exist for her

If you feel like you’re the one making all the compromises in the relationship, it is a bad sign. An emotionally immature woman will never compromise, it’s like the word compromise doesn’t even exist in her dictionary! And the concept of putting herself into others’ shoes seems alien to her. Her sense of entitlement doesn’t let her see that for the relationship to work out, she needs to start meeting you halfway, at least on some things.

Romantic relationships require a healthy balance, which includes compromising on things from time to time. But if you get this “my way or the highway” attitude from her on everything, it is a red flag that will come back to haunt you. This behavior has ended several successful relationships and will ruin yours as well.

Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Unhealthy Compromise In A Relationship

17. She comes with a history of high-drama relationships

Emotionally immature people tend to come with a volatile history, be it in their romantic relationships to platonic ones. If you are looking for signs of emotional immaturity, you need to find out if she comes with a history of high-drama relationships.

If her familial relationships and friendship full of conflict, it’s likely because she never learned to manage conflict or communicate calmly. Every story she tells you clearly shows evidence of emotional immaturity. Her inability to address her feelings results in her leaving behind a plethora of high-drama relationships. This is a red flag you really should not ignore.

How To Deal With An Emotionally Immature Woman

Knowing your partner is emotionally immature can be of little comfort since the level of effort in a relationship you need to maintain this relationship might cause you to burn out. If you think you’re dating an emotionally immature woman, consider the degree of impact and whether she’s actually aware of her behavior and willing to work on it. If both conditions are not appropriately satisfied, you should evaluate all your options and make an informed decision about walking away. Use this list of immature woman signs to do it.

If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman who is willing to work on herself and evolve, there is hope for you to get out of this pit you seem to have dug yourself into. To help you on this journey, we’re here to give you some pointers on how to succeed in a relationship with an emotionally immature woman.

1. Initiate a conversation

Sit down with your partner and clearly communicate to her how her behavior is damaging your relationship and the adverse effect it has on you. Keep the focus on yourself as opposed to her negative behavior so she doesn’t feel like you’re attacking her. Healthy romantic relationships require clear communication and if you cannot be mature enough to communicate your needs clearly, you cannot expect her to reciprocate.

2. Try couples counseling

You might hold the opinion that it’s her problem primarily, but it’s not – it is a relationship problem. One will end up damaging your connection if it is left to fester. Taking responsibility is imperative and if she is not mature enough to handle it, you need to step up. Head out to a couples counseling session and try to work it out. Show up ready to work and you might just learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.

Related Reading: How Much Is Couples Therapy?

3. Take a step back if need be

There is a time for fighting and there is a time to accept you need to give in. No one will blame you if you want to take a step back from this high-maintenance girl and breathe. Understand that stepping back means you’re looking out for yourself. So if you feel like you’ve exhausted every possible option and things still aren’t working out, it might be time to cut the cord. It is not a crime to pack your bags and walk away if the relationship starts to feel like a war zone. Keep a hold on your mental and physical health and step away from the battlefield.

Emotional immaturity is a hard thing to deal with, especially when it is a trait your partner is exhibiting. Everyone prioritizes healthy relationships rather than having to deal with an emotionally immature partner. And if you’re with an emotionally immature woman, it can be even harder to deal with the behavior. This blog detailed 17 signs you’re with an emotionally immature woman. If you’re the emotionally immature woman in the relationship, try to reach out for help so you can make things easier for both of you. And if you’re here because you’re dealing with or trying to find out the right way of breaking up with an emotionally immature man, this blog will help. Try to figure out the signs and deal with them in time to prevent things from escalating.

FAQs

13 Signs You Are Dating An Immature Person And What Should You Do

35 Bonding Questions For Couples To Strengthen A Relationship

23 Things Mature Women Want In Relationships

In this article, I will teach you everything you need to know about hypergamy.

This concept can transform you from an ordinary man with limited success to a confident, attractive man desired by women.

 Continue reading to improve your dating success and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for my latest articles.

What is Hypergamy?

Hypergamy refers to the act of marrying or forming a relationship with someone of higher social or educational background, often meaning that people are looking to “date up.”

Although this term is more commonly applied to women, it is crucial for you to grasp its implications to navigate the dating world effectively.

Educate yourself on how it might affect your relationships and use this knowledge to improve your approach to dating.

Hypergamy Psychology and Evolution

Charles Darwin’s sexual selection theory implies that individuals compete within their species for mates of the highest possible value.

Historically, women have sought long-term security in a partner who can provide protection and resources.

Understanding these evolutionary underpinnings can help you adapt your approach to dating.

Hypergamy in the Modern Dating World

Today, women aren’t only focused on wealth or status when choosing a partner.

Nevertheless, understanding hypergamy can still be valuable in your long-term dating strategy.

By developing yourself as a man of ambition and resourcefulness, women will naturally see you as a more appealing dating prospect.

Leverage Hypergamy by Investing in Yourself

Boost your attractiveness by working on various aspects of your life, such as physical fitness, financial success, and personal growth.

The more you focus on these goals, the more successful you become, making hypergamy work in your favor.

Action step

• Set personal goals for self-improvement, such as exercising regularly, pursuing professional development, or engaging in hobbies that build confidence and self-esteem.

Track your progress and celebrate your achievements along the way.

Effective Communication and Confidence

When talking to women, be assertive and confident enough to break rapport when needed.

This conveys high status and makes you more appealing to women, who will reassess your social value.

Action step

• Practice assertive communication techniques, such as expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly, setting boundaries, and engaging in active listening.

Develop the confidence to challenge the status quo in conversations and build rapport with potential partners.

Make Hypergamy Work for You

Embrace the concept of hypergamy to elevate your thinking and transform into a more desirable man.

By focusing on your goals, career, and personal development, you can harness the power of hypergamy to attract more women.

Action step

• Create a plan to integrate the concept of hypergamy into your dating life.

Identify areas where you can improve or showcase your strengths, and establish a roadmap to success that aligns with your goals and values.

Conclusion

• Understanding hypergamy can significantly impact your dating life by making you more attractive to women.
• Focus on self-improvement, build confidence, and communicate effectively to harness the power of hypergamy.
• This will ultimately lead you to a more fulfilling and successful dating life with women you find attractive.

Social Attraction Courses for Personal Growth

If you want to learn more about attracting women and making hypergamy work for you, consider taking one of our Social Attraction courses.

We can help you become a more desirable man by increasing your status, confidence, and skills in approaching and meeting women.

 Explore My Life-Changing Courses Now! 

Resources

5 Healthy Steps for Surviving A Breakup After 50

 

You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

 

Healthy Step #1. Take the time you need to heal

When a relationship ends, you’ll need some time to process and reflect on what happened.

Sometimes you know why it ended and sometimes, you really don’t.

To get a clearer perspective of what happened, you’ll want to ask yourself a couple of questions that will help you to understand what went well and what went awry in the relationship so you can recognize it and not repeat it in the future.  

1. What did I love about this man and the relationship?
2. What didn’t I love about both him and the relationship?
3. What do I wish could have been different?
4. What was my role in the relationship that contributed to the breakup?
5. What are the lessons I learned from being with this man?
6. What qualities from this man and this relationship would I like to take into my next one?

 

Healthy Step #2. Be really kind to yourself right now

Try these pampering, fun ways to lift your spirits while you’re in the healing process.

• Treat yourself to a beautiful new journal and write down on paper all of the emotions you’re experiencing. This will bring clarity to your situation and will help you release a lot of the anger, sadness and grief you are feeling.

• It’s nice during a sad time to have someone take care of you and make you feel momentarily better. Get a relaxing massage to release both the emotional and physical toxins from your body, or pet your dog, or ask a friend for a good hug. You could probably use lots of them right now.

• Head out with a friend to your favorite restaurant and over lunch or dinner process the relationship and the breakup. You’ll feel loved and supported by someone who really cares about you.

• Make or buy your favorite comfort food. Whether it’s macaroni and cheese or a certain cookie your mom used to make . . . it will momentarily take you back to warm and fuzzier times.

• Watch old TV shows or movies that make you laugh. You know what they say . . . laughter is the best medicine. 

• If you are up to it, volunteer somewhere or offer to assist a friend with a project. Helping others can make you feel better and take your mind off your own troubles for a bit.

• Everything can feel really blue after a breakup so consider starting a gratitude journal and write down  3 wonderful things you are grateful for today . . . even if it’s the sky is a beautiful blue or my dog loves me. It’s going to keep you grounded. And it will help you counter some of the sadness that can be overwhelming for you right now by reminding you that good things are still happening around you.

 

Healthy Step #3. Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the end of a relationship

Don’t hold back.

Let the tears flow.

It’s healthy, it’s a release and it will ultimately help you heal.

Should the sadness get too heavy, get support from a counselor or a trusted friend to help you cope.

 

Healthy Step #4. Wait to date until you’ve healed

It’s tempting to substitute one man for another but it rarely works.

When you don’t take the time you need to reflect and heal before dating again, you end up bringing open wounds – better known as baggage from your past – into a new relationship.

You’ll know when the time is right to date again because you don’t feel the same intensity of emotions like anger or sadness that you might be feeling now.

 

Healthy Step #5. Discover yourself again and create a great relationship with you while you are waiting to date

When you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s hard to imagine creating a single life again.

Getting back in touch with yourself can be both exciting and a lot of fun while you’re going through the healing process.

Try signing up for classes you’ve always wanted to take or go see a fun chick flick by yourself or with a friend.

Sign up at MeetUp.com for fun activities that interest you.

You’ll get to meet new like-minded friends who love doing what you like to do plus you’ll get out and have fun.

Breakups are hard.

Yet, when you can see them as an opportunity to get clarity and to heal, you will find that new doors start opening again fairly quickly.

All you have to do is be willing to open that door when you’re ready . . . then walk through it to discover the magic that could be waiting for you on the other side.

How exciting!

So my question to you is how have you coped in the past with a breakup? 

I’d love to hear about your healing process and how it worked for you.

Believing in you!

Big hugs ~

Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.

Copyright© 2023 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On April 5, 2023   /   Breaking Up After 50  

5 Healthy Steps for Surviving A Breakup After 50

 

You can read the blog below or watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

 

Healthy Step #1. Take the time you need to heal

When a relationship ends, you’ll need some time to process and reflect on what happened.

Sometimes you know why it ended and sometimes, you really don’t.

To get a clearer perspective of what happened, you’ll want to ask yourself a couple of questions that will help you to understand what went well and what went awry in the relationship so you can recognize it and not repeat it in the future.  

1. What did I love about this man and the relationship?
2. What didn’t I love about both him and the relationship?
3. What do I wish could have been different?
4. What was my role in the relationship that contributed to the breakup?
5. What are the lessons I learned from being with this man?
6. What qualities from this man and this relationship would I like to take into my next one?

 

Healthy Step #2. Be really kind to yourself right now

Try these pampering, fun ways to lift your spirits while you’re in the healing process.

• Treat yourself to a beautiful new journal and write down on paper all of the emotions you’re experiencing. This will bring clarity to your situation and will help you release a lot of the anger, sadness and grief you are feeling.

• It’s nice during a sad time to have someone take care of you and make you feel momentarily better. Get a relaxing massage to release both the emotional and physical toxins from your body, or pet your dog, or ask a friend for a good hug. You could probably use lots of them right now.

• Head out with a friend to your favorite restaurant and over lunch or dinner process the relationship and the breakup. You’ll feel loved and supported by someone who really cares about you.

• Make or buy your favorite comfort food. Whether it’s macaroni and cheese or a certain cookie your mom used to make . . . it will momentarily take you back to warm and fuzzier times.

• Watch old TV shows or movies that make you laugh. You know what they say . . . laughter is the best medicine. 

• If you are up to it, volunteer somewhere or offer to assist a friend with a project. Helping others can make you feel better and take your mind off your own troubles for a bit.

• Everything can feel really blue after a breakup so consider starting a gratitude journal and write down  3 wonderful things you are grateful for today . . . even if it’s the sky is a beautiful blue or my dog loves me. It’s going to keep you grounded. And it will help you counter some of the sadness that can be overwhelming for you right now by reminding you that good things are still happening around you.

 

Healthy Step #3. Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the end of a relationship

Don’t hold back.

Let the tears flow.

It’s healthy, it’s a release and it will ultimately help you heal.

Should the sadness get too heavy, get support from a counselor or a trusted friend to help you cope.

 

Healthy Step #4. Wait to date until you’ve healed

It’s tempting to substitute one man for another but it rarely works.

When you don’t take the time you need to reflect and heal before dating again, you end up bringing open wounds – better known as baggage from your past – into a new relationship.

You’ll know when the time is right to date again because you don’t feel the same intensity of emotions like anger or sadness that you might be feeling now.

 

Healthy Step #5. Discover yourself again and create a great relationship with you while you are waiting to date

When you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s hard to imagine creating a single life again.

Getting back in touch with yourself can be both exciting and a lot of fun while you’re going through the healing process.

Try signing up for classes you’ve always wanted to take or go see a fun chick flick by yourself or with a friend.

Sign up at MeetUp.com for fun activities that interest you.

You’ll get to meet new like-minded friends who love doing what you like to do plus you’ll get out and have fun.

Breakups are hard.

Yet, when you can see them as an opportunity to get clarity and to heal, you will find that new doors start opening again fairly quickly.

All you have to do is be willing to open that door when you’re ready . . . then walk through it to discover the magic that could be waiting for you on the other side.

How exciting!

So my question to you is how have you coped in the past with a breakup? 

I’d love to hear about your healing process and how it worked for you.

Believing in you!

Big hugs ~

Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.

Copyright© 2023 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On April 5, 2023   /   Breaking Up After 50  

It is very difficult to draw a line between love vs like. It is consuming to figure out if we now love the person whom we had developed a liking/infatuation for. It is a forever debate to know the fine difference between the two.

Liking someone means you enjoy their company. If we go by love vs like psychology, liking is almost a stepping stone to the process of loving someone though it is not mandatory to reach that stage with everyone you like. For instance, Tia, a landscape architect, shares, “I had started to like a guy from work and then eventually developed similar feelings toward my roommate, Alice, but I was confused. How do you know if you like someone or love someone?”

What Does ‘I Like You’ Mean?

When you like someone, you might feel one or more of these:

• You really appreciate them being around you
• You like the physical intimacy you share with them
• You like their personality and show you care for them
• ‘I like you’ might be a gray area before the beginning of a relationship
• It could mean you simply like someone as friends

But the question is – Is liking the same as love? Let’s find out.

What Does ‘I Love You’ Mean?

I love you is an affirmation of strong feelings of emotional, intellectual, romantic, or sexual attraction toward someone. It is a bold statement that brings the surety of “I am committed to you and I am committed to us”. This commitment is a core love vs like difference.

As per research, the perception of love differs not only across different age groups but also among males and females. Women focus more on intimacy whereas men are focused on sexuality, nonverbal, and indirect expressions of intimacy, and less on self-disclosure. Hence, love can be different for different people and perceptions.

Related Reading: 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love

Love vs. Like – 20 Differences Between I Love You And I Like You

What is the difference between I like you and I love you? It’s complex to draw a boundary between the two. But one can understand love vs like psychology in the following ways:

1. How important is their physical appearance?

Like: If you are only appreciative of their physical appearance and that is what makes you feel intensely attracted to them, then you probably only ‘like’ the person. Like Laura was only attracted to the physical appearance of Nacho in 365 Days: This Day, though this wasn’t the case with Massimo.

Love: What Laura had for Massimo Torricelli is what one can account for love. It was beyond the layers of his physical appearance or the stature he had, it was more about how he made her feel. Love might start with physical attraction but won’t be dependent on it.

2. Genuine happiness

Like: When you ‘like’ your partner, your lasting happiness won’t be dependent on their presence or absence in your life. You will adore their presence but they won’t genuinely make you feel happy for a long period of time. That’s a key love vs like difference.

Love: The constant presence of your partner is your support system. It gives you immense happiness and you are grateful to them for it. It is a warm hug of reassurance that you’ll always have someone to go back to for your comfort.

Related Reading: 15 Compliments For A Man’s Smile To Make Him Smile More

3. The freedom to be yourself

Like: How do you know if you like or love someone? If you feel like you need to pretend even for a second with someone, then consider your infatuation/liking to be just that. It’s really simple to figure out. If the way you are eating your spaghetti in front of them is as if you’re at a fancy restaurant, you’re still at the liking stage of the relationship because you get conscious around them.

Love: In contrast, if you can do weird dances just to uplift their mood, lick off your plate of noodles in front of them, and are your true self without a second thought, do not get confused about the love vs like debate because you are truly in love.

4. First sight romance or a gradual build-up?

Like: Is liking the same as love at first sight? Sometimes. What people often mistake as love at first sight is rather just a liking toward someone and in most cases, it is dependent on someone’s exterior appearance. One cannot be in love with someone without really knowing them.

Love: The feeling of love will always need time to build. It is a gradual process that happens over time and requires effort. Love also stays with a person for a longer period of time.

5. Are you a good listener?

Like: Sure, you’d listen to someone if you like them but may not adhere to what they are saying. You won’t feel the need to consider their opinion in your decisions. If someone you like vents to you, you might provide empathy to them but you won’t consider it to be your duty to help them out of their problems.

Love: As per the love vs like psychology, if you love someone, you’d always be a good listener to them and try to give solutions if that’s what they need. You’ll keep track of everything they share with you, from insignificant details to their triggers. You’d be there for your partner/crush just because you love them and understand why is it important to be a good listener.

6. How do you treat their imperfections?

Like: Imperfections are a part of every human. But you don’t see them when you like someone a lot. You linger around them as long as the giddy infatuation stays with you. You focus on their good parts and ignore the rest as your feelings are not that deep.

Love: It is a decision of staying with someone irrespective of their flaws, and is one of the most prominent signs you deeply love someone. You accept the people you love just as they are and love every part of them. The feeling of acceptance will not fade away with time.

7. Is your partner an arm candy?

Like: You want to flaunt your partner like an arm candy you can take around. Like Steven, a civil engineer from Colorado, took his friend to a business party because he felt she’d look good with him and that would make other friends/colleagues feel envious of him. These are signs you only like someone.

Love: You are proud to be with someone because you love them. It doesn’t matter if they are considered a ‘good catch’ by your friends, family, and colleagues, as long as this person makes you happy. Your idea is to grow together in a relationship every day rather than treat them as a prized possession.

8. Love vs like – Who gets to see the best of you?

Like: If you simply like someone, you’d wish to be this presentable person who’d do anything for their attention. In both love vs like psychology, their attention itself would be enough to make you feel good about yourself. But if you only ‘like’ them, you don’t work on improving yourself.

Love: The feeling of love inspires you to be the best version of yourself because you believe that your partner deserves the best. You are willing to compromise your comfort zones to show them you are all in.

9. Are you embarrassed of them?

Like: Once you get to know the flaws of your partner/crush, your liking fades away. Lyla, a bank manager, realized that her partner eats very clumsily in public and would end up spoiling her clothes in the process too, due to which over a period of time, she stopped meeting her altogether.

Love: Even if you see the most annoying side of them, like their continuous habit of making noise while eating, you’d still try to work with them to make things better. Or you’d let go of that issue completely. This is because you wish to build a future with them as you show you love them. These habits are too small to get in the way of the larger picture.

10. Are you hesitant about your feelings?

Like: If you debate about what is the difference between I like you and I love you, then one of the signs you only like someone is that you’d be hesitant to express your feelings to them. You’d not want to look uncool, or might be scared of how they react. You’ll always have your guard up.

Love: If you love someone, you’d be sure of your feelings and would confidently express them to the person you love. You wouldn’t want the ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes’ to stop you. As per love vs like psychology, you’d express your love even if your feelings are not reciprocated.

Related Reading: 15 Clear Signs Your Crush Doesn’t Like You Back

11. Love vs like – Is there a future?

Like: You would dream about the person you develop a liking for because you’ve developed an attachment with them. But how do you know if you like or love someone? It’s dependent on whether you just daydream about them or really seek a future with them.

Love: You can see yourself having a future with them and look forward to building a home together. Even if you wouldn’t want to get married or live together immediately, you’d still be able to forecast it in your head which is a beautiful feeling.

12. Is liking the same as love? Depends on how you handle intimacy

Like: Once you’ve explored each other on the sexual front, the mystery and the thrill begin to wear off and so will your feelings for each other. The sexual edge in your relationship is what keeps you driving on most days but will eventually fade away.

Love: Sexual intimacy between partners who love each other will only bring them closer. As per research, sexual activity and orgasm elevate the oxytocin levels in the body which not only brings you closer to your mate but also helps in fidelity.

13. Caring is a two-way process

Like: If you feel like the other person should always be taking care of you and your needs, then you’re probably inclined toward ‘liking’ your mate in the love vs like debate within yourself.

Love: Love is a two-way process that makes you give and take. You expect your partner to have unconditional care for you while you show someone you care and love them equally.

14. How do you react to their absence?

Like: What is the difference between I like you and I love you? If you simply like someone, the relationship with them will only last as long as they are around. Their presence is a reminder that you are supposed to be in touch with them. But if they’re absent from your life for a longer duration, you may forget all about them eventually.

Love: On the other hand, amidst love, your relationship will be able to pass the test of time. If you truly love someone, their absence for a while would only make your heart grow fonder and fill it with longing. Love will try to endure long distances and both partners will be willing to wait for each other.

15. How secure are you?

Like: How do you know if you like or love someone? If you simply like someone, you’d want to be their center of attention and wouldn’t want them to lay an eye on anyone else. You’d be in a relationship insecurity of how there’s always someone better who might take them away from you.

Love: When you love someone, you choose to trust them with all your heart. No matter how many attractive people surround you or them, you’ll both know you hold each other’s love and attention.

16. Meeting the family of your partner

Like: This is one of the most significant differences between love vs like. If you only like someone, you’d never be nervous about meeting their family. It might not even occur to you to meet them and you won’t be that involved in knowing much about your partner’s family.

Love: Is liking the same as love when it comes to meeting the family? No, if you are in love with someone, no matter how much they may tell you that their family likes you, you’d still be nervous about meeting them. You’d be cautious about the first impression you leave behind. If their parents do not like you, then surely you’d need to know how to convince parents for love marriage.

17. Are you constantly trying to impress them?

Like: If you like someone, you’d be insecure about how you are not good enough. You’d try to do things that they like in order to win them over. Masie, an interior designer in Ohio, shares, “I went to a Japanese place to have sushi with someone I matched with on a dating app. Even though I liked the guy but not the cuisine, I went along with him because I wanted to impress him.”

Love: If you love someone and are loved back, you feel grounded with them. Love has to be about letting someone be themselves. You do not feel the need to prove yourself all the time. That’s another difference between love vs like psychology.

Related Reading: 5 Reasons And 7 Ways To Cope With Feeling Not Good Enough For Him/Her

18. How conditional are your feelings?

Like: Let’s put the love vs like debate to rest through our reader Keira’s narrative. Keira, a luxury fashion enthusiast, shares her experience, “I felt like this was it and he was the one for me, but then I also felt like my feelings were dependent on whether he loves me back too and whether or not he would always be available for me. This made me realize that I simply liked my partner but it was yet to be about love.”

Love: As Keira established, love is an unconditional feeling. You’ll never feel like you need something back from the person you love in order to love them in the first place.

19. Why do you spend time together?

Like: If you are still worried about the ‘what is the difference between I like you and I love you’ question, well, take this to be the most important indicator. If you simply like someone, you’d only be with them for a specific reason, whether to feel validated, or for sex, or because you want good company for a while.

Love: When it comes to love, even a date at the nearest coffee shop would mean a lot to you. Seeing them would be enough to fill your heart with love. Simply spending quality time with someone you love feels enough.

20. Are you able to move on easily?

Like: No matter how much you like a person, you’d eventually move on from them very quickly. It might take weeks or a month to find another person you’d keep yourself occupied with as it won’t be difficult to move on from the person you only liked.

Love: On the contrary, even if things go wrong in your fairytale, it’ll be difficult to move on from someone you love. It might take months or even years at a stretch to get over someone you truly love. Feeling overwhelmed after a breakup and how quickly you move on from it is how you’ll know the difference of love vs like.

It took a while for Devi to understand that what she had for Paxton was a simple crush in the Netflix series, Never Have I Ever, because she liked what she could become with him. This was unraveled only when she could move past him to someone else. Love is hard to find, but not impossible. Amidst the love vs like confusion, love will strike you when you least expect it and will somehow stay forever.

FAQs

Breaking up with your significant other is no easy task. It is probably one of the toughest conversations you’ll have, whether you are the one initiating it or the one on the receiving end. Things get a tad trickier when you throw distance into the mix. If you’re currently trying to figure out how to break up with someone long distance, we can understand your predicament.

There are countless stories of people being broken up with over a heartless one-line text message or DM. There are countless more stories of people being ghosted even in the same city/town. This experience of having insult added to injury only prolongs the agony of the person being dumped. If you don’t want to put your soon-to-be-ex through this emotional wringer, we’re here to help you understand how to break up with someone long distance thoughtfully. But before that let’s quickly assess whether you’re breaking up for the right reasons.

How Do You Know When To Break Up Long Distance?

How do you even know when it’s time to break up? Relationships are complicated enough. Long-distance relationships add a whole new level of complication. In this situation, the temptation to ghost your long-distance partner can become very strong. But if you care about them, if they gave you a memorable time when the relationship was strong, then you owe them an explanation.

But when is it over and how do you know when to let go of a long-distance relationship? There are several ways to tell:

• You might have fallen out of love: While distance does make the heart grow fonder, too much distance for too long can douse your feelings for each other
• You met someone else: Especially if that someone lives in the same place as you, it is hard for a long-distance relationship to compete with the opportunity for a fully present relationship
• You develop trust issues: Even if your partner has a heart of gold, it is hard not to have doubts about their faithfulness; if these doubts are overwhelming you, it’s probably better to part ways

How To Break Up With Someone Long Distance – 11 Thoughtful Ways

So, you’ve decided that you cannot continue your relationship long distance. Be it on account of changing feelings, trust issues, or issues unique to your dynamic, if a relationship starts to feel like a chore, that’s the biggest indicator that walking away is better than trying to make things work.

With a few hundred to a few thousand miles between you, the question is: how do you follow through on this decision without making it too hard on your partner? Here are 11 tips on how to break up with someone long distance with as much care and compassion as possible.

Related Reading: 10 Thoughts One Has When Dumped In A Long-Distance Relationship

1. Don’t rush the decision

Is it possible to make a long-distance relationship work? While it is possible, there is also no denying that not being able to meet your long-distance girlfriend or boyfriend in person can get extremely emotionally taxing. This can lead to frustration, which can cause communication breakdowns over the simplest things, making breaking up seem like the only option available to you.

Other reasons that long-distance relationships fail could be:

• Greater financial burdens to maintain your relationship in terms of traveling long distance to meet each other
• Difficulty balancing day-to-day life and friendships with those around while in a long-distance romantic relationship
• Frequent doubts about the state of a relationship due to the long distance
• High expectations from your partner in terms of face-to-face meetings due to the lack of physical intimacy

So, before you decide when to let go of a long-distance relationship, make sure a breakup is really what is best for you. For example, if you don’t feel excited to hear your long-distance partner’s voice or read their texts for an extended period of time, it could mean that you’ve fallen out of love with them. If this is the case, then you might need to find out how to break up with someone long distance.

2. Don’t take too long to address it either

However, try not to take too long to make this decision. The struggle to figure out how to break up with someone long distance can leave you indecisive and always trying to buy time. While indecision is perfectly normal, you might create a feeling of resentment in you and your partner, which is not a healthy state of mind to be in. It might also give them false hope for the future.

Finding the right balance between not rushing the decision and not taking too long may be a little tricky but you should trust your judgment by tuning into your gut feelings. At the end of the day, only you can figure out what’s best for you.

Related Reading: 10 Noticeable Signs You Need To Let Go Of A Long-Distance Relationship

3. Discuss your feelings with a friend or therapist

So when is it over really? When long-distance relationships fail, deciding the future course of action can become a lot easier if you ask someone for help. If you have trusted friends, you can absolutely ask them for help. But if you want a more analytical eye, a therapist would serve you much better.

Additionally, seeking help from a therapist or getting relationship counseling can help you figure out how to break up with someone long distance in the gentlest way possible.

4. Talk to your partner

You should also have a serious talk with your partner before you make the final decision as the issues driving you apart could be something that can be addressed. For instance, if it is the long distance that is affecting you in the relationship, you could consider more frequent visits, an extended vacation together, or even one of you relocating before deciding on a breakup.

Moving to a new city is a big move for anyone, so don’t make it lightly. But if it is a long-term, committed relationship, this is a move that has to be made at some point for the sake of close proximity to your partner. However, if it doesn’t feel right to both of you or you feel that your long-term relationship is over, then it may be time to figure out how to break up with someone long distance.

5. Have the conversation over a video or voice call

When it’s time to break up, it can be very tempting to do it over text or even to ghost your partner to spare yourself the uncomfortable conversation. However, if the long-distance relationship was good for you at one point, then your partner deserves the effort of a conversation.

A video chat would be ideal as it would feel like a face-to-face breakup conversation and would help bring closure to both of you. But if you think that would really be too difficult to handle, the least you can do is have a phone call with them. This is an important step in how to break up with someone without hurting them.

However, if your long-distance relationship is fairly new, you might want to know how to break up with someone over text. Again, be as gentle as possible because even ending a new relationship can be heartbreaking for your partner. Whatever you do decide, it will probably not be a clean break.

Related Reading: What To Do If You Are Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner?

6. Bring up the things you are bothered by

When you do talk to your partner, be clear about what is bothering you about the relationship without sounding like you are accusing them. It is not their fault that they live where they live, just as it is not yours.

Components of trust are essential for the survival of long-distance relationships. Not knowing what your partner’s life is like outside of your interactions with them could create a sense of insecurity in your mind or get in the way of you feeling truly attached to them. But this door swings both ways, which is why an accusatory tone would be counterproductive. After all, they are also in a long-distance relationship with you.

7. Tell them how or why the relationship isn’t working for you

Distance and trust are not the only things that can come between you and your long-distance partner. A big part of being in a committed relationship is being a part of each other’s lives. This includes interacting with each other’s friends, family, and colleagues.

In the absence of this, a long-distance relationship can feel pointless very quickly. This, among other reasons, should be talked about with your long-distance partner before deciding on a breakup. Again, it boils down to whether one or both of you should/can relocate or whether the two of you should call it a day in your long-distance relationship.

Related Reading: How To Break Up With A Guy? 12 Ways To Soften The Blow

8. Give your partner some time to process and express themselves

Breakup news does not go down easy. Your partner will probably need some time to process this information and come up with a response. Maybe they would like to give it another shot or try something new to keep things going. Allow them the opportunity to process the breakup, express their emotions and point of view before saying goodbye.

9. Make an effort to understand their point of view while expressing yours

When they do come back to you with a response, it can be tempting to not listen to them for fear of having your mind changed. This is a natural defense in a stressful situation such as a breakup. Instead, make an effort to understand them without giving away too much ground.

Related Reading: 7 Stages Of Grief After A Breakup: Tips To Move On

10. Allow them a little space for their emotions without being guilt-tripped

Your soon-to-be ex may react to your decision with anger. This is a natural response to news like this but the way they express their anger may or may not be healthy. If it is a healthy reaction, give them the space to feel angry because it is what they need in the moment.

However, they could resort to making you feel bad about yourself for breaking up with them. They could make you feel guilty about your decision. In this case, stand your ground and make it clear that it isn’t a personal attack against them and that they have no right to be emotionally abusive.

11. Take the time to grieve the relationship

If you do decide to end things, make sure you give yourself time and space to grieve. You may be the one who ends the relationship but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a right to mourn. A long-term relationship, even a long-distance one, becomes a big part of your life and identity, and letting go of it is not that easy.

Grieving a relationship is not that different from grieving the death of a loved one. So, don’t be ashamed of experiencing the same feelings for the loss of your long-distance relationship. A long-distance breakup is still a breakup and grieving is a part of the healing process. If you feel like the two of you should stay friends, then that’s a discussion you can have too.

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Ah, second dates. While that first meeting is all about making initial impressions, a second date is ideal for strengthening that initial spark. With the awkwardness and nerves of a first date out the way, a second meetup is your chance to focus on chemistry, compatibility, and creating a deep, meaningful connection.

So, you’ve connected with someone new on Zoosk, been out and had a nice time together, and made plans for a second date. And, although you’ve got through those first impressions, you’re still feeling pressure to impress on the second meetup. We get this, we’ve all been there! First things first, remember the good news: You’ve already had a great first date and they’ve agreed to see you again. Now, all you need to do is continue being your charming self!

So, if you’re nervously excited for your upcoming second date — with the hope it’ll lead to a third — we’ve put together some of the best second date tips that’ll help you have an amazing time!

Second Date Tips: 13 Things to Keep In Mind

If you’re looking for some second date advice to build on the momentum of a successful first date, you’ve come to the right place! Below, we’ve put together some second date tips for guys and second date advice for ladies that can help you on your way to meaningful, lasting connections. Check out our top 13 picks below!

1. Suggest a second date idea that’s different from the first

Picking a different second date idea will help to keep things interesting and give you new things to talk about. If you went out for drinks the first time around, why not go for a walk or a hike on your second meeting? If you chatted over dinner the first time out, how about catching a movie? If you’re trying to recapture the magic of a great first date, it might fall flat if you follow the same recipe.

2. Flirt a little bit more

If you’re having a great time on your second date, it’s okay to loosen up and be more direct. If you held back on the first date, don’t be afraid to give her compliments, ask him flirty questions, or playfully touch your date on the arm. So long as you’re being respectful and reading their body language, the second date is the perfect time to get a little touchy-feely.

3. Be confident!

Looking for some solid second date advice? Be confident! We know what you’re thinking — being confident is easier said than done. But if you’re going on a second date, it means you did something right during the first one. Have confidence that your date agreed to a second meetup because they want to spend more time with you and connect more deeply.

4. But don’t be cocky

Just because you’re on a second date, it doesn’t mean you can get too comfortable with someone too quickly. It’s still important to be respectful of their boundaries.

5. Show you’re a good listener

When it comes to second date tips, it’s important to show your new love interest that you were listening to the details they shared during your first date. Ask how her big work meeting went or about his new car. It’s a small gesture that’ll go a long way.

6. Ask new questions

There are bound to be some “get to know you” questions that you didn’t cover during your first date. Your second meeting is an opportunity to dig into some of the things you may have missed.

Where do their parents live? Do they have any siblings? What do they love most about their job? You don’t want to make the date feel like an interview, but asking new questions will show that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them more.

7. Go in for a kiss

What’s supposed to happen on a second date anyway? If it feels right for the both of you, lean in and take their breath away with a second date kiss at the end of the evening.

8. Dress it up

What should you wear on your second date? It might matter more than the first. Yes, it’ll likely depend on the scenario and location of the date itself, but the key is to dress to impress. Look slightly hotter than you did the first time around, just for kicks. 

9. Talk to each other a lot

It’s not just about showing you remember stuff from last time. One of the best second date tips that we can give is to show that you’re continually interested in learning more about them. Talk a lot this date. It’ll make a difference. 

10. No ex-talk

You might be starting to feel comfortable since you’re starting to get to know each other better and all but don’t go there yet. The second date is too soon to dive into chat about previous relationships. 

11. Joke around

You likely did this on the first date too, but the second meetup is the time to get a little more comfortable. Let them in on your sense of humor to start really showing who you are. Humor is an important aspect of physical and emotional attraction and there’s a wide range of styles out there. Now’s the time to start learning about each other.

12. Be more open about what you’re looking for

On a first date, knowing what the other person is looking for — whether it’s something casual or a committed, exclusive relationship — isn’t always easy. When on a second date though, you can start to introduce this conversation and be a bit more open about what you’re looking for.

Let them know that you’re seeking a genuine connection and hope to find a long-term. Or, if you prefer to keep things casual, be upfront about this early on. Communication is key in any good relationship, and being honest about your expectations from the outset is one of the most important pieces of second date advice we can give.

13. Make follow-up plans

If you’re interested in a third date, get it set up now! There’s no need to wait and text later. If you want it, go for it. Onto the third one…

Use These Second Date Tips to Build a Meaningful, Lasting Connection

There’s a lot of information out there when it comes to second date tips. Above all else though, what’s important is to relax, have fun, and be yourself. Focus on enjoying the time together and you’ll be well on your way toward building a meaningful, lasting connection!