Category: Dating & Love

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she’s Miss United States… That’s what played in your mind instantly, isn’t it? Contrary to popular belief, a high-value woman isn’t a beauty pageant winner or an unattainable goddess. Being one does not entail subscribing to norms of conventional femininity or possessing superhuman qualities. In fact, a high-value woman is her most authentic self. 

Kudos to you if you’re striving toward this goal – the journey of becoming a high-value woman is as enriching as the destination itself. But it’s easy to go astray on this path with so much false information surrounding the subject. We’re here to debunk a few myths with this specially curated list of high-value woman traits. We hope it lends much-needed clarity to your vision and steers your quest in the right direction.

We are going to work as a team to answer two important questions – what makes a woman high-value? And how can I become one? 3, 2, 1, here we go!

What Is A High-Value Woman?

The term ‘high-value woman’ is generally understood with regard to dating. It refers to a desirable woman that a man would want to be in a relationship with. However, these connotations are archaic in the twenty-first century. It is time to adopt a different perspective on being a high-value woman. 

A healthy relationship comprises healthy individuals. Both partners bring something unique to the table; their contribution and way of being makes the bond fulfilling, unique, and loving. Hence, a high-value woman is the best version of herself. She is a well-functioning person who possesses qualities that enrich every relationship in her life. In a nutshell – no toxic traits and no red flags! 

Becoming a high-value woman means realizing your potential to the fullest. By extension, you become an ideal partner for somebody else. Our list of these traits will help you embark on the path of growth and self-love. (In no way is this a guidebook on becoming somebody a man finds appealing.) Take a look at these 15 stellar characteristics which define a high-value woman.

15 Important Traits Of A High-Value Woman

American author Bell Hooks famously wrote in her book, Communion, “The one person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourself. Learning to love our female selves is where our search for love must begin.” As we said before, approach this list with the intention of becoming a better person, not a girlfriend. (The latter follows in the footsteps of the former.) 

This list paints a broad picture of traits possessed by a high-value woman – don’t stick to the words literally. There can’t be a one-size-fits-all template for growth; so, imbibe these qualities in your own style. Always remember that there are no definitions you have to adhere to. Be your glorious self unapologetically! Enough with our words of advice, let’s get right to the question of the hour… What makes a woman high-value? 

Related Reading: Don’t Mistake These Signs To Be Wifey Material Signs

1. She’s confident 

Confidence is one of the first signs of a high-value woman. She carries herself with self-assuredness and boy, can you see it. There are different ways of exuding confidence and she’s mastered them all. Her body language is on point (no room for slouching) and her speech is spot-on. She states her opinion clearly and concisely without hesitation. To put it simply, she’s got a lot of self-conviction. And when a high-value woman second-guesses herself occasionally, it does not show.

2. She values growth 

As the saying goes – nobody’s perfect. But instead of letting this invite complacency, a high-value female has high standards. She has a mindset where she focuses on growth. She wants to grow individually and with the person she is in a relationship with. She wants to keep learning and evolving through diverse channels. It could be something as simple as learning a new language or trying a new recipe. Trying novel things and learning from those around her is a high-value woman’s hallmark. If somebody corrects her mistake, she isn’t going to take it personally – for her, experience is the best teacher. 

3. She’s independent

Independence is one of the finest qualities of a high-value woman. She is 10/10 self-sufficient in all spheres of life. When you see somebody dating an independent woman, the relationship will not exhibit patterns of codependency. Both partners will enjoy leading a life beyond the romantic domain. Neither will rely on the other to an unhealthy extent or become clingy. Independence is always a precursor of equality and she will treat everyone on an equal footing. A high-value woman walks away when she feels like her independence is trapped.

4. She’s got a high self-esteem 

Self-regard, the cornerstone of individuality! We can’t talk about the signs of a high-value woman without addressing esteem. She derives meaning and fulfillment from within because of her deep-seated belief in herself. The woman knows she is enough, no matter what goes on around her. This quality enables her to retain composure during the rough patches of a relationship. Self-esteem carries her through the lows and leads her to the highs. Naturally, grace and dignity follow.

5. What’s one of the best qualities of a high-value woman? She’s emotionally stable

One of the best habits of a high-quality woman is that she is emotionally stable. She won’t let her feelings control her. She will make sure she is the one in charge of her feelings and won’t do anything that will damage her image in moments of anger, frustration, and pain. She neither entertains drama nor creates it. She processes her feelings healthily – without denial or excessive dwelling. This healthy habit makes her emotionally available for her loved ones too. Her stability creates a safe space for her partner as well. Emotional maturity is a prized quality in a partner; nobody wants to be in a relationship prone to wild emotional swings. 

Related Reading: What Women Want In A Modern Relationship

6. She takes accountability  

Nothing is sexier than maturity. And a woman who can own up to her mistakes is a high-value woman. When you think about it, the healthiest bonds in our lives are the ones where conflict resolution is easy. Each disagreement does not escalate into a fight and each fight does not birth a do-or-die situation. This is made possible through accountability – a high-value woman doesn’t engage in blame-shifting or evade responsibility. 

7. She’s empathetic

Sensitivity toward others is one of the best qualities of a high-value woman. She is cognizant of the problems of people and lends help in the simplest of ways possible – listening patiently, withholding judgment, or words of affirmation. Empathy makes her aware of the other’s reality, making her open to perspectives radically different from her own. Apologies for the cliché but a high-value woman can walk a mile in someone else’s shoes as she knows the repercussions of lack of empathy in relationships.

8. She’s comfortable with her sexuality 

The value of a woman is usually based on how comfortable she is with her skin and sexuality. Many women take time to get comfortable with their sexuality; the prescriptive gender norms have flung sex-ed far away from ‘good’ women.  Rising above and beyond these antiquated notions, a high-value woman explores her sexuality and places importance on pleasure. She recognizes the need for sexual compatibility in a relationship and is willing to work on it. Moreover, she is open to having conversations surrounding masturbation, kinks, positions, roleplay, etc. with her partner. 

9. She’s going places   

So, what are the subtlest signs of a high-value woman? Vision and ambition. Allow us to clarify lest you misinterpret what we’re saying. A high-value woman is in charge of the direction of her life; she has a clear vision of where she wants to be. Now, this could be anything – becoming a stay-at-home mom or a high-flying CEO. No matter the dream, she is headed right toward it. Driven, perseverant, and hardworking, this visionary is going places. A woman of value will reach heights regardless of people trying to pull her down.

10. She doesn’t settle  

The ability to compromise is valuable indeed but only to a certain extent. Becoming a high-value woman entails never settling for less than what you deserve. This is applicable in different settings and contexts – never settle for a mediocre job when you’re capable of doing a better one, never settle for a disrespectful or abusive partner, never settle and give up on your dreams because they’re taking longer to manifest. You understand these high-value woman boundaries, right? Furthermore, a high-value person will never make her settle for less either. That’s one of the signs a guy is in awe of you. He will make sure he keeps standing up to your expectations.

11. She’s honest

Lying is completely off the table under all circumstances. And there are many levels to this. A high-value woman does not lie literally as well as figuratively. She is honest in her dealings with people and she is honest in presenting herself as she is. There is no scope of her adopting a faux personality to impress someone. Trust us when we say this – authenticity reigns supreme! Her honesty and integrity make men court her. A high-value woman walks away when she smells lies, deciet, and bullshit. And trust us, she can smell them all from miles away.

12. What makes a woman high-value? She’s persistent 

Things don’t work out in the first go and a high-value woman knows that very well. She never gives up and is consistent in her efforts toward a particular goal. Persistence pays off and her toil bears fruit eventually. This is an important trait because it comprises the right balance of patience, passion, and dedication. When placed in the context of a relationship, these qualities make her a worthy partner. A high-value woman is willing to work on the relationship and build a future with her better half.

Related Reading: How To Be A Happy Woman? We Tell You 10 Ways!

13. She’s witty

This is one of those qualities of a high-value woman that are a bonus. You can imbibe them, if you want, for an added zing to your personality. Humor has always been a sign of intelligence. A sharp tongue and a sharper wit are fabulous to engage with. Many high-value women are smart talkers who possess an awesome sense of humor. A remark here, a joke there, and they’ve got you charmed (and rolling on the floor). 

14. She believes in boundaries

Everyone should not have access to all parts of your life. And a high-value woman knows this. Hence, she sets healthy boundaries in all her relationships and decides what is acceptable and what is not. She has learned the art of saying ‘no’ to people when they are overstepping. The importance of being assertive is not lost on her. As renowned psychologist, Edith Eva Eger, said, “To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for yourself.” 

15. She’s skilled 

Again, this skill can be literally anything. Be it sewing to accounting, a high-value woman possesses an area of expertise. She’s got her forte mastered and her talent shines bright like the sun. This activity brings her joy and fulfillment too. When aptitude and inclination join hands, you’re presented with a gift. As you work on becoming a high-value woman, be sure to identify your gift. 

Et voila! We’ve come to the end of our phenomenal list. Tell us, what did you think of these high-value woman traits? Aren’t they worth aspiring to? Well, we aren’t done just yet. Up next is a segment that tells you how you can go about becoming a high-value woman. Don’t worry, it’s actually far easier than what you’d expect. 

Tips To Become A High-Value Woman

Who doesn’t want to become their best possible self? We know you do! And we are so excited to be by your side at this moment. It is not very difficult to cultivate the qualities listed above but most women don’t know where to begin. And of course, there are a few roadblocks along the way (which we can entirely avoid with a little caution). These tips and tricks will help you chart a course as you work on becoming a high-value woman:

• Be authentic: A wiser choice of words would have been ‘be unapologetic.’ Never be ashamed of anything – your culture, language, appearance, education, family, or work. Own up to your journey for it has led you to this point in your life. A certain set of circumstances determined your progress and you ought to wear your truth with pride
• Say ‘no’: Need we emphasize the importance of boundaries again? Many women struggle with assertiveness in public spaces. This is your reminder to say no, put your foot down, and not tolerate any nonsense whatsoever. Be firm and clear in your opinions and remember the high-value woman boundaries. (But this is not to be confused with unnecessary aggression or hostility)
• Love yourself: You are your first love, treat yourself well. Don’t let opinions and remarks get you down in the dumps. As long as you are happy with yourself, it’s all well and good. In the hustle and bustle of life, spend some me-time regularly to keep in touch with yourself. Practice mindfulness through yoga, journaling, or meditation
• Empower others: The true mark of a high-value woman is her tendency to empower others. Be helpful and supportive of those around you. Stand up for them and become a role model. Pettiness is a no-no – we strive for being secure in ourselves 
• Have fun: And in the middle of all this hoopla, don’t forget to have fun. All will have been for nothing if you won’t come back home with a smile on your face. Seek joy and laughter through diverse activities; they will enable you to be happily single too. All work and no play make Jill a dull girl – don’t be like Jill
• Don’t hold back: The factors could be external (an unsupportive partner) or internal (a mental block or anxiety), don’t be held back by anything. Be courageous and try your hand at new ventures. Put yourself out there and you’ll be surprised to see what opens up before you

That’s it, folks! We are officially done with this mini-encyclopedia on the signs of a high-value woman. You are now empowered with the knowledge that led many before you to glory. For the record, we’re extremely proud of your attempts toward self-improvement. Good luck with your endeavor – we know you’ve got this. 

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“It’s all in your head.” “I never said that.” “It was just a joke.” When a romantic partner uses such seemingly innocuous phrases to deny you your reality or invalidate your emotions, it can leave you questioning your own agency. The use of such gaslighting phrases in relationships can wreak havoc on the mind of the person at the receiving end. Gaslighting is a problematic psychological exercise that is practiced with the sole intent of asserting dominance and feeling a strong sense of power over the other.

It is an absolute form of emotional abuse that can negatively impact the emotional health of the person at the receiving end. Often the preferred tool of manipulative people – narcissists, in particular – gaslighting statements are used to create confusion, control a person, and erode their sense of self-esteem.

Since emotional gaslighting can leave a person questioning their sense of reality, unable to differentiate fact from fiction, it can often become hard to sport. That’s why, we’re listing out 25 gaslighting phrases, in consultation with psychologist Juhi Pandey (M.A. Psychology), who specializes in dating, premarital, breakup, and abusive relationship counseling, so that you can recognize manipulative and emotionally abusive people – and break free.

What Is Gaslighting In Relationships

Before we explore some of the commonly used gaslighting statements, it is vital to understand what gaslighting is and what it looks like in intimate relationships so that you can grasp the full extent of how damaging this tendency can be. So, what is gaslighting in relationships? The term gaslighting is inspired by the play, Gas Light, made in 1938, which was later adapted into a movie. It tells the dark story of a marriage rooted in deceit where a husband uses lies, twisted statements, and trickery to drive his wife insane to be able to steal from her.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse and manipulation employed by an abusive partner with the sole objective of exercising control over their victim by making them doubt their perception of reality, and consequently, filling them with self-doubt. Juhi says, “A gaslighter’s actions may not cause harm initially. Over time, however, this continued abusive behavior can make the victim feel confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed.”

The ultimate aim here is to gain absolute control over the victim, making it easier to manipulate them and steer the relationship in the direction that suit’s the abuser’s needs. You can see how damaging it can be to have a gaslighting spouse or partner. That’s why awareness of their snide manipulative techniques is your best bet at protecting yourself.

Related Reading: 5 Signs Of Emotional Abuse You Should Watch Out For Warns Therapist

25 Gaslighting Phrases In Relationships That Kill Love

What are some gaslighting abuse examples? How do I know if someone is gaslighting me? How to respond to paranoid accusations my partner levels at me? If questions like these have been on your mind, perhaps you can sense that there is something off about the way your partner twists your words and uses them against you or relies on sarcasm, sharp jibes, or plain denial to shirk accountability for their actions.

To help you assess the veracity of your suspicion and understand whether you’re, in fact, being manipulated by your significant other, let’s take a look at 25 gaslighting phrases that are most commonly used in relationships:

1. “Stop being so insecure”

A typical gaslighter personality will never let you overcome your insecurities because these niggling doubts in your head serve their purpose. In fact, your partner may even feed into them. If you raise a concern with them, instead of evaluating their own behavior, they will target your feelings. Blaming your insecurities for whatever the issue at hand maybe allows them to get away with their own bad behavior. That’s why this is the most common gaslighting phrase used in a relationship.

Related Reading: How To Deal With A Gaslighting Spouse?

2. “You are just being paranoid”

Another favorite statement of those with a gaslighter personality. “Gaslighters often deny what they have been caught doing,” says Juhi. And what better way of doing it than by shifting blame onto you by calling you paranoid and disregarding your suspicion as though it’s a useless thought that shouldn’t be paid attention to? Along with “You are just being paranoid”, “You are reading too much into this” or “I don’t know how to respond to paranoid accusations” are the most commonly used gaslighting phrases in relationships.

3. “You are way too emotional”

This is definitely one of the most common phrases used by a gaslighter and shows their lack of empathy. The intent behind such subtle gaslighting phrases is to make you perceive your emotions as a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. Your reaction might be completely justified, but a gaslighter will make you feel otherwise. When you keep hearing gaslighting terms like this, it will discourage you from showing your emotions in the future.

4. “Please stop being so dramatic”

This is another one of the classic examples of gaslighting in a relationship that is predominantly directed at women. According to Juhi, women undergo gaslighting more often than men. She says, “In most male-dominated societies, women are brought up in a way that they learn to prioritize other people’s feelings over their own, making them more susceptible to gaslighting.” Here again, the intent is to invalidate your response to a situation by making it seem like an overreaction.

Related Reading: 9 Common Narcissist Gaslighting Examples We Hope You Never Hear

5. “You are just making this up”

This is a classic statement to understand gaslighting and narcissism correlation. A narcissist thrives on completely invalidating your feelings, and nothing serves their purpose better than using gaslighting phrases in relationships. For them dealing with relationship arguments is not about resolving conflict or addressing the issue at hand but proving that they’re right and you’re wrong. “I’m not arguing I’m explaining why I’m right” is a narcissist’s mantra, and making your question your reality to get away with their own bad behavior fits that narrative perfectly.

6. “Stop imagining things!”

Narcissist gaslighting phrases such as these can be extremely dangerous and can cause severe cognitive dissonance in the victim of gaslighting. By wholly invalidating your perception, this phrase can make you feel small and even borderline insane. When used repeatedly, this gaslighting phrase can make a victim lose grip on their beliefs and opinions. Given its effectiveness, it can be labeled as one of the best gaslighting phrases, at least from the gaslighter’s point of view since it serves their purpose to the T.

Related Reading: Emotional Baggage – What It Means And How To Get Rid Of It

7. “That never happened”

One of the most telling signs of gaslighting is that abuser paints the victim as someone with such an active imagination that they can spin intricate tales out of thin air. And this statement is the perfect example of how it manifests, making a victim feel like they’re crazy for believing that something happened when their partner outright denies it. These may seem like three simple words, but when used consistently, they can become a tool of extreme emotional abuse.

8. “You are just overthinking it”

This phrase is a stonewalling technique used to evade further discussion on an issue. It is easier to get away with bad behavior when you make the other person believe that making things out to be a bigger deal than they are. If you’re prone to overthinking, a statement like this can leave you feeling confused about the validity of your own emotions, making it one of the worst examples of gaslighting phrases in relationships.

9. “Stop exaggerating!”

If you’re living with a gaslighter, you will hear statement like this often. Your gaslighting spouse/partner will assuredly dismiss your concerns as trivial and exaggerated, making you feel like the bad guy for blowing an issue out of proportion. Even if your recollection of the event was not exaggerated, an implication such as this will make you doubt yourself. Of all the phrases gaslighters use for you, this may be one of the most dangerous. Chances are, your partner knows you’re not exaggerating at all and still uses such statement to leave you riddled with doubt.

Related Reading: Verbal Abuse In Relationships: Signs, Effects And How To Cope

10. “Stop taking everything so seriously”

What does it mean to gaslight someone, you ask? Well, anything aimed at invalidating your emotions can qualify as an example of gaslighting and this phrase definitely fits the bill. A narcissist or sociopath will say such hurtful things and will do everything to make the victim feel otherwise. The next time someone uses this on you, ask yourself why should you not take something seriously if it is emotionally bothering you. If it bothers you, it is serious. As simple as that.

11. “Learn to take a joke”

An example of gaslighting is when the abuser says hurtful things or makes you feel bad through their words and actions, and later passes it off as a joke. For example, they might make an unpleasant comment about your looks, the way you dress, your attitude, or even your professional accomplishments. When it upsets you, they will call it a harmless joke or playful banter. Statements meant to dismiss insensitive remarks as a form of humor qualify as classic examples of subtle gaslighting phrases.

Related Reading: 12 Hurtful Things You Or Your Partner Should Never Say To Each Other

12. “You are just misconstruing my intentions”

These are the kind of things a narcissist would say in an argument or deal with conflict of any kind. To deflect responsibility from themselves, they will skillfully label any and every problem as a result of a misunderstanding. “This is not what I meant.” “You are taking things out of context.” “That’s not how I said it.” Such examples of relationship gaslighting serve well in helping an abuser wash their hands off any accountability for their actions.

Juhi explains, “Narcissists and psychopaths have a tendency to fabricate and indulge in a lot of white lies. They use misunderstandings as a cover for their own mistakes and then pretend to sort them out smartly.”

13. “You are being unnecessarily jealous”

To feel a sense of importance and control in a relationship, a narcissist might deliberately make the victim feel jealous. They revel in strong validation by applying this method. It fosters their own self-esteem while they disregard the hurt they might be causing you. Of the different types of gaslighting in relationships, this is the most awfully manipulative. Juhi suggests that a manipulative or abusive person may resort to such statements because they thrive on their partner’s dependence on them.

14. “I’m not the problem, you are”

This has to be the most terrifying of gaslighting phrases in relationships using which a gaslighter can project their own issues onto the victim. The victim is forced to question their sanity, actions, and feelings constantly. Red flag sayings such as this one are used to shift blame and induce self-doubt. Your manipulative partner knows that as long as they keep you questioning yourself, they’ll be able to get away with whatever it is they’re doing.

Related Reading: 8 Signs of Covert Narcissist Hoovering And How You Should Respond

15. “You lack emotional stability”

One of the most hurtful examples of relationship gaslighting points to rampant emotional abuse as it attacks a person’s most vulnerable state. In romantic relationships, partners should be able to let their guard down and be vulnerable with each other. However, when things shared in a moment of vulnerability are used against you to question your emotional stability, it can be a deeply scarring experience that can leave you riddled with trust issues.

16. “That was never my intention, stop blaming me”

Not very different from, “Look what you made me do”, this statement is aimed at taking the heat off the abuser and shifting blame onto the victim. Red flag sayings such as these can make a person in an abusive relationship believe that they are somehow responsible for the way their partner has been treating them or that when they’re mistreated, they’re somehow “asking for it”. Not only can this ruin your relationship but also inflict deep emotional wounds that can make it near impossible to break-free from the cycle of toxicity and abuse.

17. “I think you need help”

Calling someone crazy is gaslighting, and so is insinuating that a person’s reactions and emotional responses may be an outcome of underlying mental health issues – when that is not the case. Most common gaslighting phrases such as these aim to establish that there’s something inherently wrong with you and make you question your sanity. Even if your mental health is robust, a statement such as this will make you feel like something is wrong with you – especially when used repeatedly to invalidate all your reactions and responses.

Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting And 5 Ways To Deal With It

18. “Just forget about it now”

Shying away from addressing problems is one of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship. When you’re in a relationship with a toxic partner, this becomes your reality. They use some of the best gaslighting phrases to sweep issues under the carpet and pressure you into pretending that all is well in your relationship. This can affect your thought process and leave you deeply unsettled. Remember, no one else should get to decide what you should “forget about” and what deserves your attention.

19. “You are remembering it wrong”

Yes, gaslighting personalities can cast aspersion on your memory. This is one of the more dangerous examples of gaslighting in a relationship as it can leave your sense of reality completely warped by coercing you into remembering a situation differently even though you could’ve sworn what they saw and felt was true. When subjected to such gaslighting phrases in relationships, even the most confident people can begin to doubt themselves.

20. “Come on, stop making such a big deal of things”

Juhi highlights, “Gaslighters are prone to being defensive and adept at trivializing any issue that their partners may bring up.” She also suggested that they prefer to stay in a state of denial and expect the same from their partners, as it serves their objective of shirking accountability.

21. “Everyone agrees with me”

This gaslighting statement works perfectly in invalidating the victim’s concerns, thoughts, and opinions, by making them feel isolated. Your partner may use the opinions of the people you trust and respect to further bolster the self-doubt they have instilled in you by constantly making you question your judgment and the validity of your thoughts. This, in turn, makes it harder to spot the manipulation at play.

22. “Why can’t you be more like X?”

A gaslighter may use comparisons to attack your self-worth and leave you feeling devalued in a relationship. Asking you to be more like a friend, a sibling, or a coworker is a way of saying you’re not good enough. For a victim of gaslighting, who is already dealing with a diminished sense of self, this can be a crushing blow that can make them feel like they’re not worthy and that their partner is doing them a favor by choosing to be in a relationship with them.

23. “How dare you accuse me of that!”

This statement is an example of the DARVO technique – Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender – most commonly used by narcissistic abusers. Such narcissist gaslighting phrases are aimed at turning the tables by making you push aside the issues that may have been bothering you and focus on making amends with your partner.

24. “Am I not allowed to have any negative emotions around you?”

Again, the gaslighter’s objective here is to make you out to be the bad guy and paint themselves as the victim. Such statements can leave you asking, “Is it gaslighting if my partner makes me feel like a bad person?” And the answer is, yes. If instead of being apologetic about unsettling behaviors like lashing out, throwing a temper tantrum, yelling, name-calling, or the silent treatment, your partner makes you feel bad about not giving them space to channel their negative emotions, it’s definitely a red flag.

25. “Gaslighting is not real you’re just crazy”

Having educated yourself about the inner workings of gaslighting relationships, if you draw your partner’s attention to the fact that they use their words to manipulate and control you, and they respond with something like this, consider it a warning sign that you need to walk away from this relationship in order to protect yourself.

How To Respond To Gaslighting Phrases?

Now that you can understand the gaslighting meaning in relationships and identify that that’s what you’ve been dealing with, we suspect there is another question on your mind: how to respond to gaslighting? Juhi says, “A good starting point would be to stop feeding your manipulative partner the validation they need to keep this cycle of abuse going. Here are some tips on how to deal with gaslighting in a relationship:

• Disengage from your partner when they resort to gaslighting tactics
• Lean on a trusted friend for support and seek their input to validate your version of reality
• Start maintaining a record of events – journal entries, video and audio recordings – so that you can counter gaslighting with facts
• Don’t let your partner steer a conversation in a direction where they can throw you down the rabbit hole of self-doubt
• If that happens, leave the conversation. It’s crucial to set and enforce boundaries with a gaslighter
• Respond to gaslighting phrases with statements like “Don’t tell me how I feel”, “I know what I saw”, “My feelings and experiences are real. You are being insensitive in telling me otherwise”, and “I will not continue with this conversation if you continue to invalidate my feelings”

Apart from being a tool of manipulation and control, gaslighting can also be an indicator that your partner may be struggling with a psychological disorder. Juhi says, “People with personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder, most commonly use gaslighting as a way to control others.” If you find yourself at the receiving end of such gaslighting statements, know that your relationship is deeply unhealthy. It is up to you to figure out whether you want to stay on and find a way to repair this bond or walk away for the sake of your sanity and mental health.

This article has been updated in April 2023.

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“Healthy boundaries protect without isolating, contain without imprisoning, and preserve identity while permitting external connections.” – Anne Katherine, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin. This quote perfectly sums up the importance of recognizing, setting, and enforcing the different types of boundaries in relationships.

It’s crucial to have a conversation early on in the relationship about the list of personal boundaries both partners would like to enforce because when a couple gets extremely comfortable around each other, the lines between you, I, and we can get blurred easily. Just because you can put your cold feet on your partner’s warm stomach or pop each other’s back acne doesn’t mean you can say just about anything that comes to your mind. Unknowingly, some topics might just hit a nerve. 

Even if your relationship seems easygoing, you should still consider discussing boundaries so things don’t go awry. Given that this conversation can get uncomfortable or tricky for most people, we’re here to help you get started. Let’s take a closer look at what are boundaries, and how you can set and enforce them, with insights from psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), who specializes in relationship counseling and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.

What Are The 7 Types Of Boundaries In Relationships?

Once the infatuation in a new romance begins to fade, the persistent texts and calls will very quickly go from “cute” to “please make this stop”. In situations like these, following healthy boundaries will do wonders for you in keeping your relationship going. After all, giving space and respecting privacy are two ways to build a healthy relationship. Learning how to claim space for yourself and give your partner theirs can significantly improve your mental health, which can, in turn, help you build a healthier, more wholesome relationship.

Dr. Bhonsle says, “Knowing what boundaries to set in a relationship is an important factor that governs the health of a bond as well as the people in it. It is an act of establishing mutual respect and acknowledging your partner’s rights, wishes, and desires and them, in turn, acknowledging yours.”

Different types of boundaries in relationships will help take you from the cusp of a potentially toxic relationship to a healthy one in which you respect each other’s space. Put in simpler terms, you’ll learn to say “no” and begin to see it as an act of self-care, without worrying about things like, “I don’t want anybody to get the wrong idea about me”. Now that we’ve established their importance, let’s get into what are the different types of boundaries in relationships and how you can set them:

Related Reading: 8 Examples Of Unhealthy Boundaries With Ex-Wife

1. Physical boundaries

Physical boundaries revolve around your body, personal space, and the degree of physical touch you’re comfortable with. Examples of physical boundaries in relationships could include you setting a limit on the PDA you partake in, or just asking for some alone time. Or say, if you’re not big on cuddling, letting your partner know that instead of feeling obligated to reciprocate their advances is also an example of setting a physical boundary.

Voicing your opinion on physical boundaries will prevent misunderstandings and make sure you’re both on the same page. And you don’t have to feel guilty about it. The right amount of personal space is essential for relationships to thrive, as it allows you room to grow, evolve and be in touch with your true self. In Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, Anne Katherine also writes, “Intimacy comes from being known, and being known requires knowing yourself, having a self to know.”

Examples of physical boundaries in relationships

Of the different types of personal boundaries, respect for physical space can be the most crucial for a lot of people. But how do you convey this to your partner without hurting their feelings or coming across as distant? Here are a few examples that will help you discuss your personal boundaries without causing offense:

• “I don’t like being touched/held this way”
• “I feel tired, I need a break”
• “I’m hungry, I will grab a bite now”
• “I can’t have XYZ in my living space, I’m allergic to it”
• “Please knock before walking into my room”
• “I don’t appreciate being disturbed when I’m in the shower”
• “Don’t bang on the door, loud knocks make me anxious”

2. Sexual boundaries

This is perhaps the most delicate and crucial on this relationship boundaries list. A lot of couples shy away from discussing their sexual expectations, needs, and limitations before getting intimate with each other, fearing that any conversation would ruin the authenticity of the experience. But ask yourself, is fake authenticity more important than making sure you feel safe with your partner?

The latter, right? This is exactly why a conversation about whether you want to have sex, if yes, how and where, what kinks are welcome, and which ones are just straight-up weird is crucial for setting healthy new relationship boundaries. Even if you glossed over it during the early days of your relationship, there is no reason why you can’t do it now.

Dr. Bhonsle says, “Partners should share their fantasies and desires with one another openly and without hesitation or judgment. However, it’s equally important to respect a partner’s reluctance to partake in some of those fantasies and desires. Remember, your partner may not have a sex drive as active as yours or might have had bad experiences with sex in the past. That’s essentially what setting sexual boundaries boils down to.” 

Examples of sexual boundaries in a relationship

Sex can turn out to be a touchy topic between partners, especially when it comes to voicing fantasies and kinks and/or turning them down. Here are a few examples of sexual boundaries in a relationship that will help you learn how to say no without bruising your partner’s self-esteem:

• “I’m not enjoying this. Let’s try something different”
• “Would you like to try a new position/experiment with a new technique?”
• “I don’t want to have sex right now. Can we cuddle instead?”
• “I’m not okay with unprotected sex”
• “This hurts/is uncomfortable. Stop”

3. Financial boundaries

A request along the lines of “Hey, can I borrow some money from you? You know I’ll pay you back as soon as I can” shouldn’t leave you incapable of saying no. You should lend money to someone (even if they’re your partner) only if you want to, and not because you fear they’ll lash out and say something like, “Oh so you don’t trust me?” or “Do you value money more than our relationship?”

Drawing a line in the sand about hard-earned money and other material possessions is among the most crucial boundaries in interpersonal relationships, and yes, that includes romantic connections, and shouldn’t be frowned upon at all. It might be an easy conversation, but given how money issues can ruin relationships, it is essential. Besides, learning how talk about finances without getting defensive or touchy can go a long way in improving communication in your relationship. It won’t be a stretch to say that this is one of the most important types of boundaries in relationships that must be addressed.

Examples of financial boundaries

Setting material boundaries in relationships, especially the ones involving money, can be hard. Here are some examples of setting personal boundaries relating to money without it letting it become a sore spot in your relationship:

• “I can’t lend you my car since your name is not on the insurance”
• “I would appreciate if you get the car serviced after the road trip”
• “Let’s go over the credit card bill and divide who owes what”
• “We can’t give out more money to X. Let’s find another way to help out”
• “We should go over the details of the mortgage and decide who pays for what”
• “I would like to keep my personal account active and not have my salary credited in our joint account”

4. Intellectual boundaries

Examples of healthy boundaries in relationships aren’t limited to just physical/monetary aspects. It’s just as important to set intellectual and mental boundaries to be able to navigate divergent views and differences of opinion skillfully. In absence of strong boundaries, even a seemingly nonchalant yet condescending remark on your ideas may be enough to trigger an argument.

At the same time, labeling certain topics as a no-go zone can lead to an undercurrent of tension in your dynamic. You need to go about setting intellectual boundaries tactfully, striking a balance between not limiting the things you two can talk about and respecting each other’s values and opinions.

Related Reading: How Does Cheating Affect A Woman – An Overview By An Expert

Examples of intellectual boundaries in relationships

Intellectual boundaries help you navigate the minefield of differences of opinions skillfully, without letting them take a toll on your relationship. Here are some examples of how to set intellectual boundaries:

• “I know we disagree on this topic, but it doesn’t make it okay for you to belittle me”
• “We never get anywhere in our discussions on this issue. Let’s shelve it for now”
• “Yes, we surely need to talk about this but the dinner table isn’t the best place for it”
• “Let’s agree to disagree”
• “To each their own”

5. Emotional boundaries

Emotions are at the core of romantic relationships, one cannot exist without the other. It’s also equally true that everyone has a different way of dealing with emotions. Setting emotional boundaries in your relationship helps you work through any mismatch in your approach to dealing with and expressing your feelings, without being hurt, confused, or overwhelmed. This becomes even more important when negative emotions are at play.

Healthy boundaries in relationships allow you to see where your partner is coming from or whether they’re in the right headspace to support you when you’re emotionally worked up about something. Being able to understand the emotional dumping vs emotional sharing difference is a rare quality that can set your relationship up for success. And setting personal boundaries vis-a-vis your thoughts, emotions, and feelings is a crucial step in that direction.

“Being emotionally vulnerable with each other is an integral aspect of any romantic partnership, which is why this is among the most crucial boundaries to set in a relationship. The notions of vulnerability can be very different for different people and you need your partner to be a collaborator and not a challenger of your understanding of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Clearly defined emotional boundaries can facilitate the right kind of collaboration,” says Dr Bhonsle.

Examples of emotional boundaries in relationships

Emotional boundaries are all about validating each other’s feelings and handling any emotional information with respect and care. Here are a few examples of emotional boundaries in relationships:

• “My feelings being criticized make me want to shut down”
• “I can share my feelings with you only when they’re received with respect”
• “I really need to talk some things out right now. Are you in a place to listen?”
• “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but I’m not in a place to listen right now”
• “This conversation is making me uneasy. Can we revisit it another time?”

6. Time boundaries

Why does time feature on this relationship boundaries list, you may wonder. Well, because more often than not, feeling overwhelmed in a relationship is one of the signs your boundaries are being violated and your time is not being respected. This can lead to resentment in the relationship, which can seriously damage your bond with your partner.

Healthy relationships rest on a balance between the quality time you spend together and the time you take for self-care and nurturing your individual needs. Dr. Bhonsle says, “When couples come in for therapy on account of partners not being able to spend time with each other, I usually use a ‘zero hour’ assignment. The idea is simple: making an effort to take time out for one’s partner. However, this simple act also conveys love, respect, dignity, and compassion.”

Examples of time boundaries in relationships

Setting time boundaries boils down to being mindful of two things – you have a life outside of your relationship and you need to spend time together as a couple. In line with this paradigm, here are a few examples of healthy boundaries in a relationship with respect to time:

• “I can’t accompany you to that event this weekend”
• “I have plans with my friends”
• “Do you have the time to talk?”
• “Let’s plan weekly date nights”
• “Turning the TV off after dinner will give us time to connect with each other. How do you feel about it?”

Related Reading: 12 Ways To Fix A Toxic Relationship

7. Expectation boundaries

Boundaries on expectations need to be addressed as early as possible. Having high, unrealistic expectations can spell doom for your relationship, especially if they’re not mutual. If you don’t manage expectations in relationships, it could lead to a lot of discontentment and bickering. On the other hand, a conversation about what you can and cannot offer can minimize disappointment and give you clarity on what you can expect from your partner/relationship.

Talking about what’s feasible, how frequently you two will communicate, how available you will be, and who inevitably decides what you’re ordering for dinner are good boundaries to set in a relationship. After all, you don’t want to be caught in an endless loop of “I’ll have whatever you want, but just not that”.

Examples of expectations boundaries

Mismatched expectations can be a breeding ground for emotional unkindness and hostility between partners. That’s why it’s vital to know how to set expectation boundaries realistically. Here are a few examples:

• “While I don’t expect we’ll never fight, I’d like us to resolve those fights maturely”
• “I expect my partner to be loyal and honest”
• “We will both make some mistakes along the way, and that’s okay”
• “What are your expectations from this relationship?”
• “How often should we meet and communicate with each other?”
• “Mutual respect in a relationship is non-negotiable for me”

How To Set Boundaries In Relationships

As we’ve been saying all along, healthy boundaries are important for a happy and long-lasting relationship. The types of boundaries in relationships we’ve discussed today can go a long way in boosting self-esteem, self-worth, and the sense of self of partners. They help you retain your personal space, freedom, and individuality, while allowing you to respect your partner’s.

However, whether you are defining new relationship boundaries or reassessing the terms of engagement in an ongoing relationship, laying out your abilities and limitations on the table is only the first step in the process. Any number of examples of boundaries in a relationship won’t do you any good if you fail to enforce them. Here are some ways of doing it:

• Introduce boundaries early in the relationship – what is acceptable and what is not, habits, routines, etc.
• How to set boundaries in a relationship without being controlling and enforce them diligently? Communication is key. No matter how uncomfortable the conversation is, don’t shy away from it. Instead, handle the issue with respect and compassion
• Be brutally honest about your needs, and comfort. It’s not selfish to prioritize your well-being
• Figure out how you will deal with your partner violating your boundary, or you theirs
• Listen to your partner’s needs as well, don’t fixate on your well-being alone. Know what they are comfortable with and what they will not tolerate
• Don’t hesitate to ask for space when you need it

Setting boundaries means that you understand the importance of each other’s sense of space and identity, and is a sign of mutual respect in a relationship. Asserting yourself and putting your needs and limitations out there can be daunting at first, but crossing that bridge puts you on the path to building healthy relationships, free of contempt, criticism, and resentment. That makes it a journey worth undertaking.

This article has been updated in April 2023.

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Sexually transmitted diseases are a growing problem worldwide, especially in the United States. However, the good news is that they are preventable. There are a number of things you can do to reduce your risk of getting an STD. 

From educating yourself to getting vaccinated, there are many things you can do to prevent STDs without spending too much on treatment. In this article, we’ll explore some of the most practical ways you can follow to prevent STDs. 

1. Educate Yourself

Similar to prevention, education is better than cure. To date, there are many myths and misconceptions about STDs, so it’s important to get the facts straight and get yourself educated about the risk factors and prevention of STDs. Once you know the facts, you can make informed decisions about your sexual health. 

Also, it is essential to know how STDs are transmitted and what you can do to reduce the risk of getting them. You can either go online to research the types of STDs and their mode of transmission, or you can consult your primary healthcare provider to have a discussion on the topic. 

2. Limit Your Number of Sexual Partners

The most important and sensitive thing in preventing STDs is to limit the number of sexual relationships you have. This is because the more sexual partners you have, the more likely you are to contract an STD. Unfortunately, if you have got one and are hesitating to go to the doctor, you can learn how to cure STD without going to the doctor. 

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This education will help you practice healthy and safe ways to prevent yourself from further damage caused by the diseases you’ve caught. 

The main thing still remains the same. If you’re sexually active, make sure to practice safe sex and limit your number of partners. It’s the best way to protect yourself and your sexual health. 

3. Get Vaccinated

There are a lot of vaccinations out there that help protect us from all diseases included in the STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections). That’s right – there are vaccinations for both HPV and Hepatitis B, two of the most common STDs. 

Getting vaccinated is one of the most important things you can do to prevent STDs. And it’s not just you that you’re protecting. Getting vaccinated can also help protect your sexual partners from getting STDs. You can either get vaccinated by your healthcare provider or consult a specialist to get the vaccine that best suits your health condition. 

In either condition, be sure to ask them about the type of vaccine available, so you can get the one that’s right for your underlying health conditions. 

4. Don’t Use Drugs or Alcohol

Drugs and alcohol can impair your judgment and make you more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors. If you do use drugs or alcohol, be sure to use them in moderation and always practice safe sex. 

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Moreover, people who are chain smokers or heavy drinkers are more likely to get engaged in multiple sexual relationships, which can eventually lead to an increased risk of getting STDs and HIV transmission. 

5. Use Condoms 

Condoms are made to protect you and your partner from getting infectious diseases, and that also includes STDs as well. If you are sexually active, you should always use condoms during sex. As weird as it may sound, it is also advised to use condoms if you are sharing sex toys with someone. 

However, if you are not sure how to use condoms, both for males and females, you can get more information from your healthcare provider, local family planning clinic, or from credible online platforms. 

6. Avoid Contact with Infected Areas

While there are many different STDs, they all have one thing in common: they are transmitted through contact with infected areas. By avoiding contact with these areas, you can greatly reduce your risk of becoming infected. 

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This means abstaining from sexual contact and using barrier methods like condoms and dental dams. If you do have contact with an infected area, it’s important to clean the area with soap and water as soon as possible. You should also see a healthcare provider as soon as possible to get tested and start treatment if necessary. 

7. Get Regular Checkups

If you have a sexual partner and are engaged in sexual activity, it is best to get regular checkups from your healthcare provider. Make sure to find a reliable and qualified doctor and get tested regularly. That way, if you do contract an STD, you can catch it early and get treated before it does serious damage.

While there’s no guarantee that you’ll never contract an STD, getting regular checkups is the best way to reduce your risk. It is advised to get tested for STDs every 3 to 6 months to avoid any health risks down the road. 

There are always telltale signs your affair is over, or whenever a relationship of any kind nears its end. Your intuition tells you exactly what is happening, only if you’re alert enough to pay attention to it. Even though they aren’t considered serious in nature by a majority of people, the couple involved in the affair goes through intense emotional and physical highs and lows.

The Journal of Sex Research published a study which said, “We have always been interested in the motivations to engage in infidelity.” They found that the most common reason married people or people in committed relationships would start an affair was due to feeling unfulfilled with their primary partner.

There are many obvious signs that your affair is over or nearing its end, such as, when your affair partner pulls away. Or when you realize any prospects of the future might be off the table. In this blog, you will find 15 such indicators explained in detail to help you figure out if you should be worried about your fling coming to an end or not.

How Do Affairs Normally End?

Affairs are mainly of two kinds – the common extramarital trope or simply a non-committal relationship, and both get initiated because of underlying personal reasons which are different for every person. Usually, when those circumstances are resolved or when you find someone else, the affair might lose its charm and end in a breakup. Even though people react and process the end of their affairs differently, it can be safely said that the affair ending takes an emotional toll on both of them. Amanda Robson, a Sunday Times best-selling author, said, “There is no such thing as an affair that doesn’t mean anything.” In some cases, the affair partners might even fall in love.

The ReGain Editorial Team in their article mention, “How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year, long-term affairs may last for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond.” But come what may, the affairs usually always end. Whether they end up becoming something more official and better, or end forever, is a different topic.

• As per a comprehensive article published on TheHealthyJournal, there are three potential ways for the fling to end:
  In the case of an extramarital affair, it could lead to divorce from the spouse and marrying the affair partner
• Breaking up with the affair partner to reinvest into the marriage and make it better is also a potential end to an extramarital affair
• In case of a casual relationship, the affair could end in either an official relationship or the person getting rejected by their affair partner

15 Signs Your Affair Is Over

Sometimes, the end of a relationship is quick and clear in nature if the affair partner is straightforward and explicit enough in their communication while breaking up. But given the nature of affairs, honest communications that hint at the end of the fling might not be so easy to come by. If you notice your affair partner losing interest and doubt the future of your affair, check out the list below to keep an eye out for signs your affair is over.

1.There are no talks of the future anymore

The start of an affair is probably more exciting than any other part. The anticipation, planning, wanting to spend more quality time together is all that goes on in your and your partner’s minds. You make endless plans about lunches, dinners, booking hotel rooms for weekend getaways, among other things.

However, your first and most obvious red flag is when the planning seems to have not just become less frequent but has come to an end altogether. It could look a little like my friend Sharon’s situation. She said, “I was trying to decide with him where to go for dinner, and my affair partner cut me off, said he had to be somewhere that night, and left.”

2. You come up with more reasons to avoid spending time together

It is one thing to start doubting the future of your affair if your partner ignores their share of involvement. But it’s a whole other concern if you start dreading the time you spend with your partner. How often you see your affair partner and how often you have thought of making excuses to avoid seeing them on dates are questions that you should answer for yourself.

The avoidance of your affair partner can look like this:

• By avoiding them, you are subconsciously trying to avoid the anxiety and uncertainty around the potential end of the affair
• They’re too busy to hang out with you but they are suddenly busy with other people in their lives such as a new ‘friend’, or their spouse/kids
• You’re both avoiding most or any plan-making, even as simple as lunch or dinner dates
• Your talks on the phone have gone from regularly asking how each others’ days went to only getting in touch for something important
• You notice more of your texts going ignored than before

Related Reading: 13 Sure-Shot Signs A Casual Relationship Is Getting Serious

3. You have started to doubt more than you used to trust

Affairs have many unspoken but agreed upon rules. One of them is that the unofficial and secretive nature of the relationship leaves a lot of things hanging in the balance, and that both people need to accept that. Such as making last-minute plans or canceling already-made plans at the last minute or having to take rainchecks.

So, even though it is expected to not know what your affair partner is doing every minute of the day, unusual changes in their behavior can give rise to doubts. It becomes more troubling when your doubts keep getting intense and your affair partner doesn’t resolve or answer your questions around them.

4. Resentment arises and it isn’t worked on

Resentment is inevitable when a relationship hits a rocky road. It doesn’t have to end the relationship but if said resentment isn’t resolved, it most definitely can. If an affair is serious and both partners are willing to resolve the issues, there may be a way out of the resentment. However, some people hold onto resentment out of passive-aggressive tendencies. In other cases, their partners may be unwilling to change the behavior that causes resentment. In either case, the breakup of the affair becomes inevitable.

According to an article by Kalpana Nadimpalli, an English and Psychology graduate, “… resentment in a relationship is like stabbing yourself and hoping your enemy will get wounded. And when resentment is left unresolved, the issues escalate to the point that neither of you can find a way to fix it. Often termed the ‘cancer’ of relationships, resentment eats away at the core of any relationship; eroding its trust, reliability, and affection.”

• Resentment can arise when you, your affair partner, or both start keeping score of each other’s mistakes and bring them up later in arguments to put each other down
• Resentment can also arise for many other reasons such as feeling unheard or deprioritized in the affair
• If an affair is serious in the beginning, then resentment can also be the result of one or both of you physically or emotionally withdrawing from the affair

Related Reading: How To Deal With Resentment In Marriage? Expert Tells You

5. Your goals don’t align and there is no compromise

In many cases, where there is a lot of love and trust between partners, there can still be conflict regarding unaligned goals for the future. Your personal goals can lead you down a road where you just can’t walk together after a point. Initially, there is hope with negotiations and compromises, but ultimately, there is no wiggle room left. Your individual goals are comparatively more important than continuing the affair. These warning signs should not be ignored, and one can only hope to part as gracefully as Mia and Sebastian in the movie ‘La La Land’.

6. You experience a constant lack of consistency

When you start noticing your affair partner is showing less and less eagerness to make regular plans like they used to, beware. For example, you had been hearing from them every day, then it turned into once every few days, to just not hearing a peep for three weeks straight without apologies or solid reasons. Your affair could have turned into a situationship overnight without you having any idea about it.

7. Your secret is out

Affairs are usually secretive in nature and as well as you can keep your relationship hidden, some things are just not in your control. No matter what you do to keep your affair discreet, there always chances that the secret might come out.

• If a casual affair is exposed, there is a good possibility that it will end up in a split if the secretive nature of it is all that kept the passions high
• When an extramarital affair gets leaked, the people involved in the affair have much to lose. To save face and work on rebuilding their reputation, one or both partners may decide to end the affair

Related Reading: How Are Most Affairs Discovered — 9 Common Ways Cheaters Are Caught

8. You are constantly confused

If you notice yourself developing deeper feelings for the other person but don’t get the same response or realize they don’t ever see themselves getting steadier with you, it’s a red flag.

• A lack of explicit intentions might lead you to believe your affair partner is using you, which very well may be the case
• You should be concerned if they avoid wanting to resolve your confusion and anxiety around such issues

9. Anything your partner does irritates you even if they behave normally

In a romantic or emotional affair, spending time together may not always be satisfactory but it also shouldn’t become dreadful or mentally draining. If you start making excuses to avoid planning dates and meetups just because your partner bores or irritates you more and more, it is a change worth questioning.

Cheryl Whitten, a writer for WebMD, writes, “Feeling annoyed isn’t a sign that your relationship is doomed. Instead, it can be a sign that it’s time to nurture yourself and to honor your feelings. Paying attention to what’s going on in your life can help you get to the root of your irritation”. But if you’ve done this and your partner isn’t overly needy or irritating, and you still find yourself feeling tired and drained after meeting them, then the affair might be nearing its end.

10. Just sex or no sex at all is a sign your affair is over

There is no denying that sex plays a major part in the appeal and the overall success of the affair. But there should also be a balance and, not to mention, other components that make up a relationship. You might find yourself meeting your affair partner for sex only and if that isn’t on the table, you end up not meeting at all. In that case, you need to have a chat and clear it out whether you’re just there for booty calls or a romantic fling.

Related Reading: Is your man with you just for sex? 20 signs to watch out!

11. You start noticing their flaws and they give you the ick

It is a common and true fact that you see your partner through ‘rose-colored glasses’ when you have strong feelings of infatuation or even love toward them. No matter the key differences between love and infatuation, the red flags only look like flags in the early stages of both. But when there are more issues arising than solved, you might start getting the ick from their flaws and ignore their strengths altogether. And the worst part is, their flaws might be ordinary or less than noticeable, if anything major at all. So, if you struggle to find anything positive to think about your partner, whether you are in their company or not, it’s a major indicator that the affair is at an end.

12. You have started feeling alone even when you spend time together

This might be one of the biggest factors in the end of an affair. Being physically present with each other but feeling alone emotionally is a huge dealbreaker and an indicator that an affair isn’t going well and might be nearing its end unless the issue is worked on. Some of the indicators of feeling lonely with your affair partner are:

• Not being heard or taken seriously when you voice your anxieties around the affair or in
  general
• You start feeling detached from the whole premise of your affair
• Your affair partner has stopped giving you a sense of safety and freedom like they used to
• Experiencing more and more communication gaps that don’t get resolved

Related Reading: 11 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Emotional Connection In Relationships

13. Your gut has gotten more and more anxious

It is true that your gut feeling will tell you something is up way before you start to understand what exactly is wrong.

• There can be little changes in your affair partner’s behavior, body language, their moods around you, or the tone and involvement of their responses that might make you anxious
• Though these things can happen with anyone who is not having a good day, if they do become fairly regular and your gut tells you it’s time to brace for the impending end, believe it

14. If you are ridden with guilt and shame, it’s a sign your affair is over

“Say what you want about people getting involved in affairs, the human tendency to self-moral police kicks in every time,” says an article published by CouplesAcademy. The guilt and shame can surface time and again. The start of an affair can be thrilling and exciting but the underlying shame of having cheated or lied to someone else to be somewhere else can send you on a guilt trip.

It seems like a ‘no harm no foul’ deal to get involved with a married or committed person because there is no pressure for emotional attachment or serious commitment from either you or them. But with time, you may realize there are many people attached to you and them that are getting affected indirectly. The realization strikes and the affair usually ends soon after.

Related Reading: The Affair Aftermath – How To Get Over Cheating Guilt

15. They have gone back to their life and forgotten all about you

If your affair partner has gone no-contact without any prior warning and without anything going wrong, your affair is most definitely over. When someone chooses to forget anything ever happened and to behave as if they have been oblivious about your existence altogether, it is smart to realize that your ex-affair partner will never give you closure or be brave enough to break up straightforwardly. But worry not, there are things you can do to move on with your life and stop thinking about affair partner.

How Do I Get Closure After An Affair?

No matter how much you love your partner, having an affair requires work. But when you know it’s ending and the points mentioned above clearly warn you of an imminent breakup, anyone would find it difficult to handle. Some would experience that wave of rejection, and their once-charming behavior would quickly deteriorate. Let’s face it, nobody really wants a good situation to end, therefore, some would even lash out and be rude. But no amount of slandering would change the situation.

So, what to do after an affair ends?

• Is it over?: The biggest step toward getting closure for yourself is to make sure that the affair is really over, for both you and them. This doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way and reach out to them after they already cut you off. But you should avoid getting back with them on their prompts and negotiations at all costs
• Block them: Remove them everywhere you can think of and make yourself accountable enough to avoid backsliding and repeating emotionally harmful habits
• Me time: Use your freed up time to work on yourself, invest in your hobbies, get your routine right
• Seek help: Truly moving on with your life by yourself takes a lot of hard work and it is especially difficult to do alone, so take help of a non-judgmental friend who you know will hold you accountable and keep you on track forward instead of looking back. You can also ask advice from professionals. The counselors of Bonobology will always be ready and happy to help you

Related Reading: Why ‘I Need Closure’ Weighs On Our Mind After A Breakup

You might be doubtful of how your affair partner feels about your fling, but you don’t know how to interpret the change in their behavior. Or you want to get confirmation about whether it’s just in your head or if you are actually seeing signs your affair has ended. In the end, introspection and moving on takes time and no matter how your affair ends, don’t hesitate to ask for help from close friends, or professionals if you need to. And as the author Shannon L. Alder says, “Sometimes you can be touched by God, but not healed. Often when this happens, he is using your pain for a greater purpose.” So, keep persevering.

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In this article, I give you a guide to intimacy and pleasure by unleashing the power of Tantra.

I explore simple techniques that will give you a powerful emotional and physical connection with your partner.

 Continue reading to improve your dating success and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for my latest articles.

What is Tantra?

Tantric practices offer a unique way to enhance intimacy, pleasure, and the overall sexual experience.

Tantra is a blend of ancient practices that focus on the connection between body, mind, and spirit.

By incorporating these techniques into your intimate encounters, you can experience more profound and fulfilling connections.

Synchronized Breathing

Breathing is an essential part of tantra, as it helps to build a connection between you and your partner.

• Begin by sitting or lying down facing each other. Inhale deeply and slowly, while maintaining eye contact.
• As you exhale, try to match the rhythm of your partner’s breath.

This synchronized breathing helps to create a sense of unity, allowing you both to become more in tune with each other’s feelings and emotions.

Extended Eye Contact

Eye contact is an essential aspect of building intimacy in any relationship.

In tantra, it is used as a powerful tool to establish a deep connection between partners.

• Start by sitting or lying down close to your partner, gazing into each other’s eyes.
• Maintain this eye contact for an extended period, without feeling the need to speak.

This simple yet intense exercise can help to create a sense of vulnerability, trust, and emotional closeness.

Slow, Intentional Touch

Tantric touch is all about being mindful and fully present in the moment.

• Start by gently caressing your partner’s body, focusing on every touch, stroke, and sensation.
• This slow, intentional touch can help to heighten arousal and create a stronger sense of intimacy.

Remember to communicate openly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, and always make sure you have their consent before proceeding.

Yab-Yum Position

The Yab-Yum position is a classic tantric pose that facilitates a deep sense of intimacy and connection.

• In this position, one partner sits cross-legged while the other partner sits on their lap, with their legs wrapped around the seated partner’s waist.
• This position allows for full-body contact, making it ideal for both physical and emotional connection.

Incorporate synchronized breathing and eye contact into this position to further enhance your experience.

Cultivating Sexual Energy

In tantra, sexual energy is seen as a powerful force that can be harnessed for spiritual growth and personal transformation.

• To cultivate this energy, focus on slow, sensual foreplay and resist the urge to rush towards orgasm.
• Instead, learn to enjoy the journey of pleasure and arousal, allowing the sexual energy to build and flow throughout your body.

This practice can lead to more intense and enjoyable experiences, both for you and your partner.

The Art of Sensual Massage

Sensual massage is an essential part of tantric practice, as it helps to awaken the senses and promote relaxation.

• Begin by setting the mood with dim lighting, soft music, and scented candles.
• Use warm oil or massage lotion to gently rub and knead your partner’s body, paying special attention to their erogenous zones.

This intimate and loving touch can help to create a deeper connection between you and your partner, while also preparing both of you for more intense pleasure.

Honoring Your Partner’s Body

Tantra emphasizes the importance of viewing your partner’s body as sacred.

• Take the time to appreciate and worship your partner’s body, verbally expressing your love and admiration for them.
• This act of reverence can enhance feelings of intimacy, trust, and vulnerability

Therefore making it easier for both partners to fully experience pleasure and connection.

Tantric Meditation

Meditation is a powerful tool for fostering mindfulness and presence, both of which are essential in tantra.

• Practice meditation together, focusing on your breath and body sensations.
• By cultivating a sense of inner stillness and awareness, you can strengthen your connection to yourself.

Additionally this helps with the bond with you and your partner, enhancing your sexual experiences.

The Power of Mantras and Chanting

Mantras and chanting can be a powerful way to raise your vibrational energy, which can lead to more intense and pleasurable experiences.

• Choose a mantra that resonates with you and your partner and chant it together, either silently or aloud.
• This practice can help to create a strong energetic bond between you and your partner.

Additionally allowing for more profound levels of intimacy and pleasure.

Embracing the Balance

Tantric practices recognize the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies within yourself and your partner.

• Embrace both energies by exploring your own unique blend of strength, vulnerability, passion, and nurturing.
• This awareness of balance can create a more harmonious and satisfying sexual experience.

It also deepen the emotional connection between you and your partner.

Conclusion

• By incorporating tantric techniques you can create a more fulfilling sexual experience.
• You can build a powerful emotional and physical connection that leads to more enjoyable experiences.
• Open yourself up to the possibilities of deeper intimacy, pleasure, and connection with your partner.

Social Attraction Courses for Dating Success

If you want to learn more about enhancing your relationships with women, consider taking one of my Social Attraction courses.

I can help you become a more desirable man by increasing your status, confidence, and skills in approaching and meeting women.

 Explore My Life-Changing Courses Now! 

Resource

1. Anderson, R., & Goldenberg, S. (2017). Synchronized breathing: A dyadic study on emotional closeness and physiological linkage. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34(7), 983-1003. This study demonstrates that synchronized breathing between partners can lead to increased emotional closeness and physiological linkage, supporting the idea that this technique can enhance intimacy and connection.
2. Kjellgren, A., & Ivanov, V. (2010). Experiences of encounters with ayahuasca – “the vine of the soul”. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, 42(4), 393-401. This study suggests that eye contact can create a sense of vulnerability, trust, and emotional closeness, which are important aspects of deepening intimacy in tantra.
3. Fruzzetti, A. E., & Mennin, D. S. (2010). Emotion regulation therapy. New York, NY: Guilford Press. This study highlights the importance of mindfulness and being present during touch, which can help to heighten arousal and create a stronger sense of intimacy.

Introduction

Polygamous dating can bring both joy and challenges. On the one hand, having multiple partners can provide emotional support, variety, and satisfaction. On the other hand, polygamous dating requires a great deal of communication, trust, and understanding between partners. We will explore the joys and challenges of polygamous dating and provide insights into navigating these relationships successfully.

In many cultures, polygamy was a common practice and was considered a way to secure wealth, status, and progeny. However, in modern times, polygamous relationships are often viewed as unconventional and sometimes taboo. Nevertheless, some individuals still engage in polygamous dating, either for personal or cultural reasons.

The Joys of Polygamous Dating

Polygamous dating can provide many benefits to those interested in pursuing this type of relationship. Here are some of the joys that people have reported in polygamous dating:

The Benefits of Having Multiple Partners:

• Emotional support: Having multiple partners can provide emotional support and a sense of community that can be hard to find in a traditional monogamous relationship.
• Variety: Polygamous dating allows for various sexual and emotional experiences, providing a range of connections and opportunities for personal growth.
• Shared responsibility: In polygamous relationships, partners can share the responsibilities of household chores, financial support, and child-rearing, providing a sense of unity and support.

The Importance of Communication and Trust in Polygamous Relationships:

• Open communication: Polygamous dating requires open and honest communication between partners to ensure everyone’s needs are met and that conflicts are resolved.
• Trust: Polygamous dating relies heavily on trust between partners, as everyone must be confident that their partners are faithful, respectful, and committed to the relationship.

Personal Stories from People Who Have Found Happiness in Polygamous Dating

• Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy communities have grown in recent years, allowing people to share their stories and connect with like-minded individuals. Many people have found happiness, fulfillment, and belonging in polygamous dating relationships.
• Overall, the joys of polygamous dating can be significant, providing a sense of emotional support, variety, and shared responsibility, among other benefits. However, these relationships require a great deal of communication and trust between partners and a willingness to challenge traditional societal norms.

How to Succeed in Polygamous Dating

While polygamous dating can bring many joys, it also presents unique challenges that require a proactive and communicative approach. Here are some tips on how to succeed in polygamous dating:

Building Healthy Relationships with Each Partner:

• Be clear about your intentions: From the outset, it’s important, to be honest with your partners about your intentions and the nature of the relationship.
• Take time to connect with each partner: Make sure to invest in building a healthy and fulfilling relationship with each partner, which requires empathy, active listening, and respect for each person’s individuality.
• Practice good communication: Make sure to communicate regularly and openly with each partner to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Setting Clear Boundaries and Expectations:

• Establish boundaries: Make sure to establish boundaries and expectations for the relationship. These boundaries can include what is and isn’t acceptable behavior, time management, and how conflicts should be resolved.
• Respect each other’s boundaries: Make sure to respect each other’s boundaries and work together to find common ground.
• Be willing to compromise: Relationships require compromise, and polygamous relationships are no exception. Be willing to compromise to ensure that everyone’s needs are being met.

Balancing the Needs of Each Partner:

• Prioritize communication: Communication is key to balancing the needs of each partner. Communicate regularly with each partner to ensure everyone’s needs are being met and conflicts are being addressed.
• Be fair: Make sure to give each partner the attention and respect they deserve. This may mean dividing your time and energy fairly and rationally between partners.
• Be willing to adjust: Relationships are dynamic and require adjustment over time. Be willing to make adjustments to ensure that the relationship remains healthy and fulfilling for all involved.

Succeeding in polygamous dating requires building healthy relationships with each partner, setting clear boundaries and expectations, and balancing the needs of each partner. This requires a proactive and communicative approach and a willingness to compromise and adjust over time. By following these tips, you can navigate the challenges of polygamous dating. It will build fulfilling and rewarding relationships with multiple partners.

Conclusion:

Polygamous dating can bring many joys, including emotional support, variety, and shared responsibility. Still, it also presents unique challenges that require a proactive and communicative approach, such as establishing clear boundaries and balancing the needs of each partner. Polygamous dating requires open communication, trust, and a willingness to challenge traditional societal norms.

Remember, polygamous dating may not be for everyone, and listening to your needs and desires is important. It’s important to find partners with similar values and intentions and to be open to adjusting and compromising as the relationship evolves. With the right mindset and approach, polygamous dating can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience for all involved.

In this article, I am going to outline how to become an attractive man.

I will be discussing what you can do in your life to create an attractive lifestyle.

 Continue reading to increase your self-confidence and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for my latest articles.

Invest in yourself

Just like any economic investment, the more you put into your personal development, the greater your returns will be.

• Focus on improving your physical, emotional, and intellectual well-being.
• This includes pursuing regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, fostering emotional intelligence, and expanding your knowledge base.

By investing in yourself, you increase your overall value and become a more attractive prospect in the dating market.

Here are two things you should not do:

• Neglect your physical health and appearance: Failing to maintain a healthy lifestyle and groom yourself appropriately can lower your attractiveness and decrease your chances of success in the dating market.
• Ignore personal growth opportunities: By not continuously striving to learn and grow as an individual, you risk becoming stagnant, which can hinder your desirability to potential partners.

Understand your target market

In economics, it’s crucial to know the preferences and needs of your target market.

• Similarly, in dating, it’s essential to understand the qualities that your potential partner values.
• Analyze the characteristics of the person you want to attract, and identify areas in which you can improve to align better with their preferences.

This will increase the likelihood of attracting the partner you desire.

Here are two things you should not do:

• Assume you know what everyone wants: Not every person will have the same preferences in a partner, so avoid making general assumptions about what others are looking for.
• Change yourself completely to fit someone else’s preferences: While it’s essential to be aware of what your target market values, avoid compromising your authenticity by trying to become someone you’re not.

Optimize your personal brand

A strong personal brand is essential for companies to succeed in the market. Likewise, creating an appealing personal brand is crucial in the dating world.

• Consider how you present yourself, both online and offline.
• Your appearance, communication style, and online presence all contribute to your personal brand.

Make sure these elements are congruent and represent you in the best light possible to maximize your desirability.

Here are two things you should not do:

• Present a false image of yourself: While it’s important to showcase your best qualities, avoid fabricating or exaggerating aspects of your personality or appearance, as this may lead to disappointment and mistrust.
• Neglect your online presence: In the digital age, your online presence is an extension of your personal brand. Failing to manage it responsibly and professionally may adversely affect your attractiveness in the dating market.

Leverage your unique selling proposition (USP)

In the world of business, a company’s unique selling proposition sets it apart from competitors.

• Similarly, when it comes to dating, you must identify and showcase the traits that make you stand out.
• By highlighting your USP, you position yourself as a more attractive candidate in the dating market, increasing your chances of finding the right partner.

Here are two things you should not do:

• Try to imitate others: While it’s essential to learn from others’ success, avoid copying their traits and characteristics, as this will hinder your ability to showcase your unique qualities.
• Undersell yourself: Failing to recognize and effectively communicate your unique strengths will make it difficult for potential partners to see what sets you apart from others in the dating market.

Network and socialize

In economics, networking is crucial for business growth and success.

• When it comes to dating, expanding your social circle and attending social events can significantly increase your chances of meeting potential partners.
• By creating a diverse and robust network, you increase the likelihood of encountering someone who shares your values and interests.

Here are two things you should not do:

• Isolate yourself: Staying within your comfort zone and limiting your social interactions can hinder your chances of meeting potential partners and expanding your social circle.
• Be overly aggressive or pushy: While it’s essential to be proactive in your social interactions, avoid coming across as aggressive or overly eager, as this can be off-putting to potential partners.

Be patient and persistent

In the world of investments, patience and persistence often lead to long-term success.

The same principle applies to the dating world.

• You may face rejection or disappointment along the way, but remember that these experiences are essential for growth and learning.
• Stay persistent, continue investing in yourself, and eventually, you will find the partner you desire.

Here are two things you should not do:

• Give up easily: Allowing disappointment and rejection to discourage you from continuing your search for a partner may prevent you from ultimately finding the right person.
• Rush into relationships: In an effort to avoid the dating process, you may be tempted to jump into relationships quickly. However, this can lead to settling for a less-than-ideal match, potentially causing long-term dissatisfaction.

Conclusion

• You can enhance your attractiveness and increase your chances of attracting the partner you desire.
• Invest in yourself, understand your target market and optimize your personal brand.
• Showcase your unique selling proposition and remain patient and persistent in your pursuit.

Social Attraction Courses for Becoming an Attractive Man

If you want to learn more about enhancing your success with women, consider taking one of my Social Attraction courses.

I can help you become a more desirable man by increasing your status, confidence, and skills in approaching and meeting women.

 Explore My Life-Changing Courses Now! 

Resources

1. Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2008). Sex differences in mate preferences revisited: Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(2), 245-264. This study by Eastwick and Finkel highlights the importance of individuals showcasing their unique traits and preferences when looking for a romantic partner. The authors suggest that people’s initial attraction to potential partners is largely driven by the extent to which those partners display unique qualities that align with the individual’s preferences.

2. Derlega, V. J., Winstead, B. A., & Greene, K. (2008). Self-disclosure and starting a close relationship. In Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 153-174). Psychology Press. In this study, Derlega et al. emphasize the role of self-disclosure and effective communication in forming close relationships. The researchers highlight that being open and honest about one’s unique traits, values, and interests can facilitate the initiation of romantic relationships.

3. Sprecher, S., & Metts, S. (2009). Romantic beliefs: Their influence on relationships and patterns of change over time. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6(4), 834-851. Sprecher and Metts’ study investigates the impact of patience and persistence in romantic relationships. Their findings indicate that individuals who hold romantic beliefs, such as the idea that love can overcome all obstacles and that true love will find a way, tend to experience more successful and long-lasting relationships. This supports the notion that persistence and patience in the dating world can lead to a more satisfying romantic outcome.

Abortion. Voting. Trans rights. Clean water. The Wisconsin Supreme Court race had all the rights on the line. And who showed up big at the polls? Gen Z.

For the first time in 15 years, liberals won the Wisconsin Supreme Court race—and they won big.

In a new episode of Boom! Lawyered, Jess and Imani find a moment of joy to offer their analysis on a race that had a lot on the line, like the state’s pre-Civil War abortion ban.

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that Boom! Lawyered is only made possible by the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

In the last several years, U.S. District Judge Reed O’Connor has made a cottage industry of gutting the Affordable Care Act. His latest decision in Braidwood v. Becerra, which mostly applies nationwide, eliminates the requirement that insurers cover a wide swath of vital preventative care. The decision also contains a big win to conservative Christians, continuing their ability to cement their worldview as the only one that matters and eliminating decades of work from queer activists all the way back to the 1980s.

O’Connor’s decision gets rid of some preventative care that most people will likely be angry about once they realize it, like giving statins to people over 40 at high risk of heart attacks and making colorectal cancer screening free. But the decision also eliminates many things related to sex, which conservatives will celebrate.

Nationwide, free STI screenings—including screenings for chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B and C, syphilis, and HIV—are gone. As to the actual plaintiffs in the case, they secured a holding that they are not required to purchase insurance plans that cover pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP. PrEP is so effective at stopping the transmission of HIV that it’s like a literal miracle. When used as prescribed, it reduces the risk of getting HIV by 99 percent. It’s also incredibly expensive if insurance doesn’t pay for it—about $14,000 per year.

Getting rid of this coverage only makes sense if you want people to die for having sex. If that feels like it is dragging us back decades, that’s because it is.

Several of the plaintiffs in Braidwood v. Becerra didn’t want to pay for insurance plans that cover STI screening and coverage of PrEP. They say it violates their religious beliefs “by making them complicit in facilitating homosexual behavior, drug use, and sexual activity outside of marriage between one man and one woman.”

Thanks to O’Connor’s decision, those plaintiffs are no longer required to purchase insurance that includes PrEP because to do so would “substantially burden” their religious freedom. This holding only applies to the people who sued, but it sets a precedent for other courts to do the same thing. And given that the federal courts are captured by conservatives, this possibility is all too likely.

Losing progress on these issues is heartbreaking. It is undoing the legacy of an entire generation of queer activists who have fought tooth and nail to destigmatize being gay, to destigmatize having sex, and to destigmatize HIV and AIDS.

Over time, we’ve forgotten how deadly HIV/AIDS was at the outset. From 1981 to 1987, it killed 95 percent of the people diagnosed with it. From 1988 to 1992, it was still a near-certain death sentence, with 89 percent of everyone who contracted it dying. By 1996, though, that figure fell off a cliff, thanks to the “cocktail” treatment—a combination of antiretroviral drugs that decreased the viral load in HIV-positive patients. And things only continued to improve, resulting in PrEP being approved for use in 2012 and added to the list of required preventative coverage in 2021, making the drug free for nearly everyone.

None of that came easy, because for years no one in power cared if HIV-positive people lived or died. But queer elders, like those who founded the grassroots group ACT UP, forced people to pay attention while simultaneously forging an entire ecosystem of queers caring for each other.

Larry Kramer, a gay playwright, used his art to call attention to AIDS with his play, “The Normal Heart,” which premiered off-Broadway in 1985. Years before that, though, he helped found the first AIDS support clinic. In 1987, some of the most robust early research into tracking the transmission of AIDS was done by gay men, many of whom were already infected. In 1988, ACT UP shut down the FDA’s Washington, D.C. offices, blocking the roads to enter the complex and staging a die-in in front of the building to demand access to experimental drugs. But ACT UP also deployed what it called an “inside-outside” strategy: anger and protests to get in the door of places like the FDA and the National Institutes of Health. Once in the door, they shifted to partnering with the very organizations they had targeted.

Now, so much of that progress is threatened. Getting rid of insurance coverage for PrEP will result in greater HIV infections, period. A 2022 study from the Yale School of Public Health found that eliminating insurance coverage for PrEP could result in over 2,000 cases of HIV in the next year alone. Only 28 percent of people who are eligible for PreP actually receive it. Take away insurance coverage, and you’ll see a precipitous drop—Yale estimates that 28 percent would drop to 10 percent. The 2,000 new cases figure is much more alarming when you realize it doesn’t address any infections past one year, and it only considers initial infections, not subsequent transmissions to others.

These cases are entirely preventable with PrEP coverage. So many more cases would be preventable if PrEP were expanded. There’s literally no downside to making PrEP accessible and free save that conservatives desperately want to punish people for having sex, period, and they really, really want to punish people for having gay sex.

Queers have in no way become complacent, and activism remains strong. But there’s one big, horrible difference between then and now. Queer elders agitated against government agencies and the medical establishment, particularly the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as intersections between the two.

Now, however, the biggest threat to queer safety and queer flourishing is coming from the federal courts, now stacked with conservatives who have been very open about using their power to harm LGBTQ people. Federal courts don’t have the same pressure points as government agencies or medical researchers. These conservative judges are appointed for life and are steadfastly, smugly resistant to arguments about research, modernity, or kindness. And even if one were to succeed in somehow persuading a lower court judge, eventually, cases run headlong into a hyper-conservative Supreme Court

David Wojnarowicz, one of his generation’s brightest artists, famously wore a jacket with this on the back, “IF I DIE OF AIDS – FORGET BURIAL – JUST DROP MY BODY ON THE STEPS OF THE FDA.” Wojnarowicz also described, in brutal, unblinking fashion, what it was like to be gay and dying of HIV in the 1980s, but his words are sadly relevant again:

It is easy for some in this country to be vicious and murderous when they have the support of rich white men and women in power. Those people consistently abstract human life and treat minorities as nothing more than clay pigeons at a skeet-shooting range. They toss up a fake moral screen, nail it to the wall of a tv and newscaster’s set and unfurl it like a movie screen.

Are you in one of those relationships where you want to spend every waking moment with your partner? Saying goodbye even if for a little while seems to cause physical pain. A strong love like that always feels nice, but on the flip side, you both may have extremely ugly fights. Discussions turn into arguments, arguments into a screaming match, leaving you staring at the screen waiting for a text. This intense yet damaging relationship dynamic might mean you’re in a karmic relationship.

If you’re hearing this term for the first time, it may sound confusing. You may be thinking it has something to do with the principle of “what goes around, comes around” or that your relationship is one of the signs of karma. Well, you’re not too off-the-mark here, but this definition isn’t entirely accurate either. Confused? Well, the karmic relationship meaning and dynamics can be confusing.

That’s what we’re here for – to break it all down for you. Simply put, a karmic relationship is meant to be more of a teaching tool rather than a lasting romantic connection. Now, let’s delve deeper to understand what that statement means, the signs of a karmic connection between two people, and how to navigate such a relationship.

What Is The Meaning Of “Karmic Relationship”?

Wondering what is a karmic relationship? According to karmic relationship astrology, these relationships are widely believed to occur when two souls who have unresolved issues from a past life meet one another again in their current life. In a previous life, these two souls made a sort of pact to help each other on their way to their new lives. They do help each other, but the process is not very pleasing. That’s what sets karmic partners apart from twin souls or twin flames.

Leaving the celestial talk aside, in real life, a karmic relationship is one where you feel signs of undeniable chemistry with your partner. The karmic relationship meaning can seem vague, but once you focus on the way these connections manifest, the dynamics become crystal clear. Here are some key patterns to watch out for:

• When you meet a karmic soulmate, it feels like you’ve known this person all your life and can open up and tell them everything
• These connections can also be extremely fragile and sometimes lead to toxic or unhealthy relationships
• These traits make such relationships emotionally exhausting
• On-again, off-again, your romantic relationship is about as enduring as a paper straw
• There’s always jealousy, trust issues, and possessiveness

What is the purpose of karmic relationships?

Karmic relationships are often referred to as soul contracts. They are said to be predestined and meant to teach us important lessons, help us grow spiritually, and resolve past life relationships and their issues. These can be intense, emotional, difficult, or even unhealthy relationships, but they can also be extremely rewarding, and transformative, and can lead to a spiritual awakening. An abusive relationship that you’re almost addicted to could be one of these. This volatile nature is what differentiated them from soulmate relationships and twin flames.

By embracing these karmic relationships and learning from them, we can become better versions of ourselves and live more fulfilling lives. It’s important to approach these relationships with an open mind and heart and to be willing to learn and grow from them, even if it means letting go of the relationship itself. Ultimately, the purpose of karmic intimate relationships is to help us evolve and grow spiritually so that we can fulfill our highest potential in this lifetime and eventually learn to build healthy bonds. The purpose of karmic relationships can be described as:

• A part of our soul’s journey, that is meant to help us evolve and grow as individuals
• These relationships can involve unresolved issues from past lives that we need to work through in this lifetime
• Characterized by intense feelings and a deep connection, but they can also be tumultuous and challenging
• They can teach us important lessons about ourselves, including our strengths, weaknesses, and areas for personal growth
• By confronting our past traumas and issues in these relationships, we can heal and move forward in our lives with greater clarity and purpose
• Serve as a catalyst for personal transformation, leading us to make positive changes in our lives
• These relationships can serve their purpose only if we’re willing to learn from them and grow

Related Reading: We Are Soul Mates But Does He Desire Me As Much As I Desire Him?

What Are The Signs Of A Karmic Relationship?

Spotting the signs that your current relationship is an outcome of a karmic connection can be hard, especially if you’re intent on staying in denial about it. Even when there’s a niggling voice in your head telling you that this relationship feels different or off, you may continue to choose solely to believe that you’re going to end up with this person.

As long as you continue to believe that wholeheartedly, a karmic connection will turn into a damaging relationship because your denial is impeding from serving its intended purpose. This, in turn, can lead to a world of pain and hurt. To help you protect yourself from it, we list out the signs of a karmic relationship so you can determine if you’re in one:

1. Instant connection

From the minute you started talking, it felt like you’ve known this person all your life. Call it love at first sight if you will. The pace at which you both become comfortable with each other was astonishing. There were no awkward conversations, you never had to think about what to say next, and the conversations just kept flowing.

It’s because of these intense feelings that you may be experiencing for the first time that you think you’ve found the one. The instant connection feels like a godsend. The beginning is one of the best karmic relationship stages. But the highs and lows that follow turn out to be an exhausting ride.

2. A karmic relationship instills codependency

One of the worst karmic relationship symptoms includes being codependent with your partner. You feel addicted. You can’t go a single day without talking to your karmic partner and your happiness solely depends on how they treat you. This is one of the most evident karmic relationship signs.

Codependency is a sign of unhealthy relationships as it encourages harmful trust issues, jealousy, and possessiveness. You need to realize that you have a life outside your relationship. It might be cute to call your partner “the maple syrup to my pancakes” but both pancakes and maple syrup have identities of their own.

3. You’re deathly scared of it ending

As the saying goes, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know. This couldn’t ring truer than in the case of a karmic relationship, where on account of the comfort and familiarity, even the thought of ending things with your partner may set off a panicked frenzy. However, the familiarity of a negative situation doesn’t make it any less harmful. It’s natural to fear the unknown when you can’t fathom losing the person who means so much to you. This fear can make it challenging to break free from a karmic relationship.

4. Your partner is the most frustrating person you’ve ever met

..but you still love them. Karmic relationship signs are just that complex. Karmic relationship synchronicities allow for such a deep, spiritual connection that you forget all about how annoying your karmic partner is. When you meet up to resolve a fight, you end up kissing and you forget about whatever it is you fought about. Until it happens again, possibly the very next day. A passive-aggressive text, a rude comment, an inconsiderate action, the list goes on and on. An abusive relationship could be a karmic one in disguise.

5. The issues never go away

This is another classic one in the aggravating list of karmic relationship symptoms. The reason for your first breakup (we say first because we know you two will have at least a billion of them) is something that still causes problems in your unhealthy relationships. You both know the issues need to be resolved, but your idea of conflict resolution involves blocking and unblocking each other on Instagram.

This incapability to resolve the issues your relationship is infested with can make you feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending loop of chaos and turmoil. But the point is, perhaps you’re not able to work through your issues in this relationship because they’re not meant to be resolved but to serve as lessons for you to grow and evolve. This is one of the many ways karmic relationships are different from twin-flame and soulmate relationships

6. It’s a whirlwind of emotions

One moment it can feel like you’re on top of the world, and the next, it’s as though the rug has been pulled out from under you. You may find yourself swinging from a state of complete adoration to not wanting anything to do with your karmic soulmate at all.

It can be confusing, leaving you trapped in the cycle of wondering why your relationship is so agonizing. The mental and emotional exhaustion of it all can leave you feeling drained and defeated, reminding you of why it’s said that we become more like Squidward as we age.

7. Your partner brings out the demons inside of you

That groggy morning when you were out of milk, the eggs were all expired and you couldn’t find your socks, you thought you were the angriest you’ve ever been. Until your karmic soulmate shows you what kind of anger you’re capable of, by testing your patience every single day. Your fights turn ugly, very quickly. You’re shown a side of yourself you didn’t know existed.

Since karmic relationship symptoms include anger issues, this is supposed to happen to you. Have you been wondering, “Why do karmic relationships happen if they’re so tumultuous?” Well, this is the purpose of karmic relationships – to teach you things about yourself you can’t get to know any other way.

Related Reading: 9 Signs You Are In A ‘Right Person Wrong Time’ Situation

8. The relationship is all-consuming

Why would you ever want to break up? It’s going wonderfully. You know in your head you’re going to end up with this person. The relationship is intense, it has shown you what love can make you feel and you long for your partner’s touch 24×7. There’s nothing more you want than to be lost in your partner’s arms.

A karmic relationship is an embodiment of “good while it lasted”. One of the best karmic relationship stages is when you’re in the thick of it, letting your powerful feelings take you to new highs.

9. You know it won’t work

Somewhere, underneath all the infatuation and the red flags you ignore, you know this relationship is never going to last. No matter how much you run from this realization (just like you run from the weighing scale), you know the truth but just don’t want to accept it. You keep making excuses and fooling yourself. This is because, try as you may, you won’t succeed at breaking free from a karmic relationship until you’ve experienced all you were meant to experience, the highs and the lows.

10. Synchronicities

Synchronicities are meaningful coincidences that seem more like deep soul connections than random chance. In karmic relationships, you may notice a lot of synchronicities between you and your partner. These may be related to past life experiences or shared destiny.

For example, you may discover that you and your partner were born on the same day, have the same favorite book or song, or share a common dream. These synchronicities can be a sign that you and your partner are meant to be together for a deeper purpose, such as healing the world or raising consciousness.

11. There is a feeling of completion

When a karmic relationship ends, you may feel a sense of completion or closure. You may feel like you have learned the lessons you needed to learn and that it is time to move on to the next phase of your spiritual journey. This feeling of completion can be a sign that the relationship has served its purpose in your life. Even if the relationship ended in a painful way, you may feel a sense of gratitude for the lessons you learned and the growth you experienced.

It is important to honor your feelings and take the time to process the end of the relationship so that you can move forward with a sense of clarity and purpose. Remember that even if the relationship has ended, the lessons you learned and the growth you experienced will stay with you for the rest of your life. Healing after a karmic relationship can be painful but worthwhile.

Related Reading: 10 Must-Follow Healthy Relationship Boundaries

How To Walk Away From A Karmic Relationship

Karmic relationships are often intense and transformative, but they can also turn toxic and harmful. When a karmic relationship becomes toxic, it is important to recognize the signs and take action to protect yourself. Walking away from a karmic relationship can be difficult, especially if you have invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship, but staying in a toxic relationship can be detrimental to your well-being and prevent you from growing spiritually. You can tell if the highs and lows are just too much to handle.

Signs that a karmic relationship has turned toxic include constant arguing and fighting, emotional or physical abuse, emotional manipulation and control, and a lack of trust and respect. If you are experiencing any of these signs, it is important to consider walking away from the relationship in order to prioritize your own well-being and growth. In this article, we will explore how to walk away from a toxic karmic relationship and move forward on your spiritual journey. Here are a few ways you can do it.

1. Set clear boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is crucial for walking away from a karmic relationship. This means being clear about what you define as abusive behavior or as unacceptable and bad behavior and communicating it to your partner. It’s also equally important to stick to your boundaries and not allow your partner to violate them. This can be challenging, but it is essential to your well-being and growth.

2. Seek support

Seeking support is essential when walking away from a karmic relationship because these can be intense, all-consuming, and emotionally draining. A support system can provide you with the strength and encouragement you need to move forward and heal. This support system can include friends, family, a relationship therapist, or a support group.

Related Reading: The 7 Fundamentals Of Support In A Relationship

3. Cut-off contact

Cutting off contact with your partner may be necessary to heal and move on. This means deleting their number, unfollowing them on social media, and avoiding places where you might run into them. It can be painful at first, but it is necessary to break the energetic ties that bind you to your partner. Remember that unless you break the over-dependence and cut off unlimited access, the emotional exhaustion and the feeling of being trapped won’t go away.

4. Focus on self-care

Walking away from a karmic relationship can be emotionally draining, and it is essential to prioritize self-care. This means doing things that bring you joy and nourish your soul. Spend time in nature, practice yoga or meditation, or take up a new hobby. Self-care can help you heal and move forward.

5. Reflect on the lessons learned

Every relationship, even a toxic one, can teach us valuable lessons. It is important to reflect on the lessons learned from the karmic relationship and how they can be applied to build healthy relationships in the future. This can help you grow and evolve as a person and attract healthier long-term relationships in the future.

Walking away from a karmic relationship can be challenging, but it is necessary for your well-being and growth. Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy, fulfilling relationship that supports your growth and evolution, and well-being. We hope that this article has helped you find an answer to what is a karmic relationship and helped you assess if you are in one. Now is the time to begin your healing after a karmic relationship, which can be an enlightening journey.

This article has been updated in April, 2023

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Author’s note

You’ve Reached Sam by Dustin Thao was a very emotional read for me as I had gone through grief a short time ago. This book helped me reminisce about my journey through grief and how challenging it was for me to overcome it. Journaling was one of the tools that helped me to cope with grief. There might be people among us still recovering through this tough phase, and to those people, I would like to say that I hear you, I see you.

The genre of this story is young adult/ romance; however, as a reader, I found it more appealing as a story about a grief survivor through the language of fiction in the best way possible.

I hope you have a great perusal 🙂

The storyline

The plot is about the protagonist, Julie, going through a very tough phase of grief from losing her boyfriend and getting consumed by guilt, regret, and pain following his departure. The story gets a grip once Julie calls her dead boyfriend, Sam, out of desperation. Eventually, Sam picks up the call and starts a conversation with Julie like before. While Julie tried to forget about Sam to move on with her life and abandon herself from friends and family, this one call brought her back on track. With Sam on the line, she could reconnect with her present life and believe they’d been given a second chance.

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But how long do second chances last?

Characters

I truly enjoyed characters like Mr. Lee, Oliver, and Mika, who made Julie’s journey much more pleasant. Mr. Lee owns the bookshop where Julie works and where she first met Sam. Mr. Lee is peculiar because he treats books as people and believes they are full of life. Oliver was their best friend. However, he didn’t get along with Julie in the past. However, the readers get to see a friendship blossoming between the two as they recover from grief. Mika is Sam’s cousin and shares a very sweet bond with Julie; Mika plays the role of a sibling in Sam’s life. As the story progresses, Julie realizes that it isn’t only her but the people around her who suffer from grief in their own ways. 

Quotes

• “You don’t write to get to the end. You write because you enjoy doing it. You write and don’t want it to end.”
• “Letting go isn’t about forgetting. It’s balancing moving forward with life and looking back from time to time, remembering the people in it.”
• “The world keeps moving, no matter what happens to you.”
• “If the ending is this painful, I don’t know if this was worth it all.”
• “I always feel at home when I’m in the store. I could spend hours and hours here. There’s a comfort in being surrounded by walls of books.”
• “Before he’s gone, I grab a single petal and hold it tight against my chest. But somehow, it slips through my fingers and vanishes into the sky. Just like the rest of him.”

Asian culture

The Asian cultural aspect of the tale was expressed quite positively. The origin of Sam’s family is in Japan, even though he was brought up abroad. There are instances where I got to see the Asian cultural aspect in the story, like when students in school plan on starting an Asian study club, when Yuki, Julie, Oliver, and the others set out memory lanterns onto the sky, and much more. As an Asian, I felt profoundly happy reading about how different cultures can unite different people under one umbrella, even in those darkest times of their lifetime. I appreciate the author, Dustin Thao, for giving life to these precious characters through his piece of work.

Book recommendations similar to this book:

Sometimes it’s hard to put into words what your partner makes you feel. Romance has been the subject of hundreds of movies, songs and plays because it’s something we’re fascinated by. It brings forth feelings of intense passion, love and intimacy. 

We’re put together 35 quotes that will remind you that love might not always be easy, but it is always worth it. So, whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting out on your romantic journey, these quotes will inspire you to cherish the love that you have, and to keep searching for that perfect connection.

1. “True love stories never have endings.” – Richard Bach
2. “There is no charm equal to the tenderness of heart.” – Jane Austen
3. “Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.” – Emily Dickinson

4. “If one day the moon calls you by your name don’t be surprised, because every night I tell her about you.” —Shahrazad al-Khalij
5. “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.” —Alfred Tennyson
6. “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.” —Unknown
7. “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” —Maya Angelou

8. “I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.” – J.K.K. Tolken
9. “You are, and always have been, my dream.”―Nicholas Sparks
10. “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” — Aristotle
11. “Loving you never was an option. It was a necessity.” — Truth Devour

12.“If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.” —Haruki Murakami
13. “My love for you has no depth, its boundaries are ever-expanding.” – Christina White
14. “Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.” – Elaine Davis
15. “If I know what love is, it is because of you.” – Hermann Hesse

16. “For thousands of nights I dreamed of making love to you. No man on earth has ever hated sunrise as I do.” ―Again the Magic
17. “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
18. “You’re nothing short of my everything.” – Ralph Block
19. “I love you” begins by I, but it ends up by you. ―Charles de Leusse

20.  “We loved with a love that was more than love.” — Edgar Allen Poe
21. “I never want to stop making memories with you.” — Pierre Jeanty
22. “There is no remedy for love but to love more.” – Henry David Thoreau
23. “You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” – Oscar Wilde

24. “To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” – David Viscott

25. “I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.” – Leo Christopher
26. “There is a madness in loving you, a lack of reason that makes it feel so flawless.” — Leo Christopher
27. “Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.” – Robert Browning

28. “I love you more than there are stars in the sky and fish in the sea.” —Nicholas Sparks
29. “So dear I love him, that with him, all deaths I could endure, without him, live no life.” —John Milton
30. “I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together.” —A.R. Asher
31. “Because of you, I can feel myself slowly, but surely, becoming the me I have always dreamed of being.” —Tyler Knott Gregson

32. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” —Angelita Lim
33. “Chemistry is you touching my arm and setting fire to my mind.” —Nayyirah Waheed
34. “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” —Robert Frost
35. “Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces.” —Rumi

If you have recently broken up (no matter whether you are the dumper or the dumpee), you will be struggling to get back to normal life. This is where the no-contact rule comes in and helps save the day (or month or year). If you go through all the no-contract rule stages, we promise that things will change 

What is the no-contact rule? Well, the stages of no-contact demand that you cut off all exposure and association with your ex in your life. Yes, everything. No calls, no messages, no ‘accidentally’ bumping into them, no endless checking on their social media, no reading old letters, and no wishing them on birthdays or anniversaries. You also make sure you remove every sign of your ex from your life. This could mean giving away all gifts and not revisiting places with a lot of joint memories.

These no-contact rule stages may sound harsh but they are some of the best ways to recover from heartbreak and get your life back on track. And hey, if your ex keeps calling after you’ve cut them off, the ball is now firmly in your court and YOU get to call the shots. What could be more empowering than that? 

A Rundown On The No-Contact Rule Stages 

The stages of grief after breakup and no-contact rule include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages of no-contact are not necessarily linear. It is very possible that you swing back and forth between two stages for a while, before moving on to the next. This is the time to be compassionate and let yourself feel all the emotions. 

Related Reading: A Rundown On The No-Contact Rule Female Psychology

Stage 1: Denial 

This is often the worst stage of the no-contact rule. You can’t believe that your relationship has failed and that it’s over. 

• The worst part: Your mind may try to trick you into thinking that you can still stay in touch once in a while. Do not believe your mind
• How to cope: Stay strong. Stay busy. Rally your friends around. Do what needs to be done to stay away from your ex and stick to this no-contact rule no talking stage

Stage 2: Anger 

Anger is a really powerful stage of the no-contact rule. This is when emotions move away from ‘why me’ to ‘how dare.’ 

• The worst part: When you feel angry, you start to question all the negative parts of your relationship and no longer see it through rose-tinted glasses. Some believe that of all the stages of no-contact for a man, this one is exceptionally tough. When anger sets in, the no-contact rule talking stage can be particularly difficult. Not being able to contact your ex and yell at them can be tough, we understand
• How to cope: We suggest writing your feelings down in a letter and then burning the letter. The important part is letting yourself feel the anger and emotions at this stage 

Stage 3: Bargaining 

This no-contact rule stage is tricky. You may convince yourself that a tiny text message won’t do much harm. Or that your break-up is temporary. Or that accidentally meeting your ex, is not your fault.

• The worst part: Just keep this in mind – if you give in to these bargaining tactics, you return to square one of the no-contact rules stages. Do you really want to do all the hard work again? No, we thought not
• How to cope: Stay away from your ex at all costs. This is the stage when the real healing happens and you don’t want to jeopardize this

Related Reading: How To Get Through A Breakup Alone?

Stage 4: Depression 

It is during this stage of the no-contact rule that the sadness sets in. You finally begin to understand that it’s really the end. That the breakup is not temporary. And you may feel depressed and unaccountably sad.

• The worst part: Do not attempt to drown these feelings in other addictive behaviors such as smoking, drinking, and meaningless one-night stands
• How to cope: It may be worthwhile to speak to a professional at this stage of the no-contact rules. A therapist can help you make sense of your overwhelming feelings and slowly get your life back on track

Stage 5: Acceptance 

Finally, you wake up one day and realize it’s been ages since you obsessed over your ex. Acceptance is the goal stage of the no-contact rule stages. 

• You are busy in your new life 
• You finally feel better after the breakup
• You don’t spend your day wondering what your ex is doing 
• Your confidence has returned
• You may even have started dating again

Never underestimate the power of time on your ex as well. They too may be reconsidering their decisions and want to reach out. And while the stages of no-contact for your ex might play out differently, this time around, the terms of reconciliation will be up to you. 

How Long Do Stages Of No-Contact Last?

There is no hard and fast rule about how long the stages of no-contact should last. If your relationship was long or intense, you may need a longer time to heal and recover. That said, relationship experts do suggest a minimum of at least 21 days to a month without any contact with an ex. This can go up to 90 days or even a few months, if you still feel pain or anger or are struggling with low self esteem and confidence. Following are the very broad timelines for different types of relationships and the no-contact rule stages: 

• If your break-up was friendly and mutual, you may need 21 to 30 days to heal 
• If you and your ex were together for two months or more, take 60 to 90 days of no-contact. It’s important to give yourself time to heal and get into a routine without your ex
• If your break-up was nasty or extremely abrupt, allow yourself 90+ days of no-contact. If your ex reaches out to you before this time, simply tell them that you are still processing your feelings and need more time
• If this was a toxic relationship or there was abuse involved, we urge you to cut your ex out of your life indefinitely. While you heal and recover from the trauma, talking to a trained professional is essential as well
• There may be times during the no-contact stages that you need to get in touch with your ex. Maybe you have kids together or there is a sickness or death in the family. These are inescapable and will have to be dealt with when the time comes. However, do not view these occasions as opportunities to “get back” before you are ready

Please remember that all these are just guidelines. If you are still feeling shaky and unsure after the recommended time period, it’s absolutely ok to extend your no-contact period. 

After months of mood swings and haywire emotions, you may finally reach a stage of rediscovery and self-confidence. When the focus finally shifts away from your ex and back to you, is where the real magic happens. You finally have the skills required to either return to a healthy relationship with your ex or with someone new. Make yourself go through the no-contact rule stages to win the most important person in your life back – you!  

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