Category: Dating & Love

As I discussed in the article last week on why your messages are not leading to a first date, let’s tackle the flip side!

While I mentioned messaging for a first date is both an art and science (I won’t bore you with the details—if you missed it, here’s the link), yes, you need to put some effort into messaging. Ok, not contemplating a quirky, witty message for 30 minutes—you’ll fall off the online dating wagon after one evening of this. And, remember, practice makes perfect. The more messages you send, the easier it will be.

Some of you who work with me know my initial system where I have you send me your daily messages for a quick critique—and we quickly polish them up and get on the right track leading to in real life dates.

So, here we go—and make it fun!

1. You just cannot read every single word of every single profile out there.
So, to get started, let’s say your search/app offers you up 60 men or women meeting your criteria. Not to be shallow, but you will do the first round just based on thumbnail photos of singles you find attractive.

2. Set a daily goal: You are sending 6-8 messages today.
I don’t want burn-out or frustration or exhaustion. The first thing you will do as you choose a person is to quickly scroll through their photos. Any of them odd? Like a bathroom shot? A car shot? Photo looks like 1998? Block them. No need to read their profile or delve further.

3. Read their Profile/Summary
If they didn’t bother with one, block them and move on. Otherwise read for interests, personality and what they are looking for.

Example: As Mark (name changed) and I were looking for high potential matches yesterday, we happened upon an upbeat cute woman. One of her comments was “Travel is my thing! 48 states checked off and 14 countries. Oh, so much more to see and looking for a LTR with a man with a similar travel bug”.

Mark’s response: “HI Tanya, you stopped me in my tracks—not just your photos but your travel. Ok, I’ve been to 31 states—my favorite was New Mexico—the food, scenery and culture. Sort of surprised me! Countries—I’ve visited 18 so far. Marrakesh (well, I guess really Morocco) won me over. I felt like I was blasted back into Paris of the 60’s with a North African twist. Friendly, gorgeous boulevards, the souks, the hammams and the tagines were delicious. One local even gave me his mom’s spices! Ok, your turn—love to hear your favorites??? Warmly, Mark

While Mark’s response was much longer than I usually advocate, before our hour was up—Tanya had responded. Yep, a date forthcoming Friday. My fingers are crossed.

4. Common Interests (again)
Another client on Saturday, Susan, 52 from NYC is a baseball addict. One line in her profile read “Oh, I love Spring Training with the Grapefruit League—saw 8 games this season in Florida. Can’t wait until the MLB season starts in April”.

Wow, did she get responses! And she also wrote back. Of course, she was challenged by New Yorkers on the Yankees vs. Mets rivalry.

After reading one avid Mets fans profile she responded : “Hi Jack, Hmmm, not sure about your Mets. We just got Anthony Volpe—will he be the new Derek Jeter? Ok, I’ll go to a Mets game if you’ll go to a Yankees game. How about we start with a coffee? I’m sure we won’t strikeout. Warmly, Susan

Susan nailed it. And, I liked her short, sweet and less than 5 sentence response. She reached out first and men absolutely love this! Jack and Susan are having coffee Saturday and I’m sure they will have much to chat about.

5. Be Specific
When messaging, be specific about what you are interested in. NO: I like your profile. YES: Wow, the cooking class in Italy sounded awesome. I had no idea of the difference between Northern and Southern cuisine. The pic of your twirling the pasta with red sauce on your face was so funny. Favorite food? Mine is Eggplant Parmesan. We may have to try an Italian restaurant here in Boston’s North End—want to start with a drink?

6. Be you
What do I mean? Don’t think too hard—pretend you’re texting a friend. Use informal language and always spellcheck. It just takes a moment and first impressions count.

7. Be Positive
Ok, yesterday I was working with a lovely woman from Atlanta, crafting messages together. She had received a few messages from men, and we looked them over together.

One man who was quite attractive in all 5 photos had sent her this message (and yes, I’m paraphrasing): “You are quite stunning. I want to be forthcoming. I lost my wife last year, though it was not a good marriage. Shortly thereafter, my son died in a car accident. As a result, I am in therapy 4x a week and the meds are helping my depression. Would you like to meet”? (There was much more to this message but you get the picture).

We both agreed while we felt for this man’s tragedies, it was just too much information. Please don’t spill too much information before the first date….or even on the first date.

8. Be Patient
There is a learning curve to crafting good messages. And a good reminder, it just takes one. Please don’t get frustrated as I know from almost 30 years as a dating coach, there’s a lid for every pot. If you find yourself exhausted, take a two week break and don’t get online at all. Come back refreshed!

After starting It’s Just Lunch in the 1990’s and growing it to 110 locations globally, I sold to private equity about 10+ years ago as I saw the writing on the wall. The largest pool of singles is online and you can’t argue with the statistics. One in three got married last year online. There’s been countless ongoing relationships. You’ll meet interesting people outside of your everyday life.

After being married for 24 years, it took me 4 years to begin online dating! (Yes, I guess I was living vicariously through my clients!!!)

But when I jumped in, no, I dove in, the first week I had 5 dates. Love at first site? Nope! But met some very interesting people—one rock and roller who invited me to a concert, one podcast guy who leant me his studio, one doctor who had written a book about vitamins and supplements and boy, did I learn a lot. Ok, no sparks but a lot of fun. Two months later, I met the one. Did I know on the first date? No. But the third was it!

Stay happy, stay positive and have fun with dating!

Andrea McGinty
Founder, https://www.33000Dates.com

Founder, It’s Just Lunch

702-494-7344

Dating Coach/Dating Counselor

#dating

#datingtips

#datingexpert

#bestmessagesonlinedating

Any romantic relationship — be it a marriage or otherwise — is a partnership. Together you will battle personal demons, financial and household crises, terrible moods, career issues, errors in judgements, and so on and so forth. So, there will be as many bad days as there are days full of sunshine and rainbows. No marriage is just about the happy days alone. The secret to a happy marriage is knowing that, no matter the storm, trouble, or obstacle that you face, as long as you have each other and choose your bond over everything else, you will be alright.

You will always emerge from the crises stronger and happier than ever before. A happy marriage is characterized by this knowledge, an understanding of each others’ needs, wants and temperaments, and emotional maturity on each partner’s part. Sure, physical intimacy is important too, but it is all those other little things that characterize a truly happy marriage.

For newlyweds, though, such a terrain may be difficult to navigate and they may find themselves struggling to maintain and strengthen the marital bond when faced with crisis after crisis. In such situations, it is important to remember and stick the 10 key rules to a happy marriage. While there is hardly a manual that will help you deal with everything — especially since everyone’s situation is unique — sticking to these rules will still make it way easier to navigate these treacherous waters.

10 Rules For A Happy Marriage

There is no one-stop solution, no manual or guide that can help you deal with every problem you may encounter in a marriage and turn it into a happy relationship that lasts forever. But still, every married couple looks for that secret ingredient in the recipe to make their marriage a happy and successful one. However, we must come to terms with the fact that the path leading there has no shortcut to this. It is all about putting in constant effort and choosing each other over everything else every time.

This may seem like a lot of work, but, in the end, know that it will always be worth it. Make mistakes, make horrible decisions, but always remember to be willing to fix things. Because, together, you can solve anything. That being said, there are 10 rules for a happy marriage that every couple should always follow to lead a life of marital bliss:

1. Always remember that you are two separate individuals

The first one in this list of 10 rules for a happy marriage is to acknowledge the fact that, even though you are sharing your life with your spouse, you two are unique individuals. While, that shouldn’t stop you from sharing your feelings with your partner, remembering that you are two separate individuals who have been brought up differently and are characterized by different needs, wants and desires will help you understand each other better.

It will also keep you from having unfair expectations of each other and instead allow you to be understanding of your partner’s point of view even in the direst of situations.

2. Be willing to compromise

When two people share a life together, they face many ups and downs in life that require some degree of compromise. Always look at the bigger picture and compromise where necessary and when it’s practical.

While these rules for a successful marriage do not mean that you should always bend over backward to fulfill your partner’s demands, especially if they aren’t rational demands at all, it does mean that you would need to be willing to let go of certain things to make them happy. Human beings are selfish beings. But love is anything but selfish. Love requires adjustments on each partner’s part. So, if giving up on something or changing a habit or two can make your partner and your marriage happier, be willing to make those adjustments.

That being said, another one of the rules for a happy marriage is to remember to not take this too far and end up being the only partner making sacrifices and compromising on everything. Both you and your spouse need to compromise on things to make your marriage a truly equal, mature partnership.

3. Keep your arguments healthy

Finally, don’t be afraid of disagreeing with your partner, but do it respectfully. Remember, a happy marriage has no space for ego. Let your mutual love win through it all. This is an important mantra and one of the key marriage rules to live by.

Healthy arguments are okay. Anger, irritability, and frustration are very human emotions. There will be times when both, you and your partner, make mistakes. There will be other times when you hurt each other. Even if that leads to arguments, do not resort to pettiness. Do not engage in blame games and name-calling. Try and get to the bottom of the issue together instead of turning it into a battle you have to win.

Arguments can be a good medium of communication as long as you keep things healthy, open and respectful.

4. Don’t be afraid to communicate

Communication is the key to any relationship. Your partner can almost never tell what you are thinking. So, it is important to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner instead of keeping it all to yourself. It may feel difficult at first, especially if you are used to dealing with things alone, but as we’ve said before, a marriage is a partnership. So, your problems aren’t just yours alone anymore. Tell them to your partner, even if it feels embarrassing. This is one of the key rules for a happy marriage.

Chances are, your partner has been waiting for the chance to be of help. Also, open communication can solve a problem before it has the chance to turn into a bigger issue. And remember, communication is not just about saying things. It is also about being willing to listen. Listen to their side of the story without getting defensive. One of the major marriage rules to live by is to try to understand each other’s position and deal with the issues together.

5. Work on keeping the spark alive

Just because you are married now doesn’t mean the romance has to be dead. Once the honeymoon period is over, work hard on keeping that spark alive. Don’t just let the romance fade away as you lose yourself to family duties and professional responsibilities. Learn new things about them every day and fall in love with them all over again. Take time out of your busy schedules and spend it with each other. Go traveling. Pull pranks. Buy flowers and have date nights.

Remember, one of the best parts about being married is that you get to be with the love of your life for the rest of eternity. So, shower them with affection whenever you can.

Related Reading: Adjustment In Marriage: 10 Tips For Newly Married Couples To Make Their Relationship Strong

6. Be trustful and trustworthy

There is no point in being together if you cannot trust your partner. Sure, there will be times when both you and they may keep secrets from each other. But still, trust them to do the right thing. One of the rules for a happy marriage is trusting your partner unconditionally as it will inspire them to do better and be better every day, since they would not want to let you down ever. Put your faith in your love and the bond that you share with each other and each day will be filled with marital bliss.

7. Respect each others’ opinions

This may seem like a no-brainer to some, but it is still one of the rules to a happy relationship. They are your partner in crime. They want the same things as you. Both of you want each other to be happy. So, why would you not pay heed to their opinions or advice? Even if it feels like they may have no idea about a situation, explain things to them and take time to listen to their piece.

And, whatever you do, remember not to ridicule their opinions, no matter how silly it may seem. Explain why you think what they are suggesting wouldn’t work instead. Learn to learn from each other and you will grow stronger as people and as a couple with every passing day.

8. Choose your battles wisely

While arguments are a great way of communicating your feelings, sometimes it does not bode well to be fighting and arguing about everything. One of the rules to a happy relationship that you should remember is that some battles are better not fought, especially when they can be resolved if you just make a few, small adjustments on your part.

Instead of always expecting your partner to fix their mistakes, actually ask yourself if the issue at hand is important at all. Or are you just used to doing things a certain way and don’t like it when you have to change them — even if the change is not so bad in itself? Introspect before engaging in arguments every time. In life, you win some, you lose some. But losing some battles and letting go of the rest may just help you win love in this situation.

Related Reading: Incompatible With My Wife And Turning To Counseling To Save The Marriage

9. Tackle problems together

Marriage rules state how important it is to learn to share your hardships with each other — even if it does feel difficult to be so vulnerable in front of another person. The idea of what is personal and private changes when you are married. So, your personal and professional troubles aren’t just yours to deal with anymore.

Think of it this way: Once you are married, you have got a wingman, a partner in crime, a confidante, a well wisher and a best friend all rolled into one. Use that power to tackle problems together instead of keeping things from each other.

10. Support each others’ dreams

Being each other’s biggest source of strength and motivation is pivotal to leading a happy marital life. It is one of the major marriage rules. You must strive to be the most essential force of inspiration for your spouse, even when times get tough. It is your responsibility to support their dreams, their career and their ambitions whenever and however you can and vice versa.

Tap into the powers of companionship, mutual understanding and respect to achieve your dreams and shoot for the stars together. Be the power couple everyone only dreams of becoming. It’s not hard as long as you have each other and your strong bond built out of love, compassion and mutual respect to fall back on.

In the end, while these 10 rules for a happy marriage may help, know that there isn’t a guide or list of rules for marriage that can tell you what to do and how to actually handle every problem, every moment and every disaster that comes with a marriage. But, thankfully, you have your partner and love of your life right by your side so you can face the world and its million hardships together.

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In this article, you will learn how to stop masturbating.

I explore the science and then the spirituality, before giving you eighteen techniques for breaking the habit or reducing its frequency.

Continue reading to improve your dating success and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for my latest articles.

The Science of Masturbation

From a science perspective, several processes occur in the male body when the decision to masturbate is made.

Here’s an overview of some of the key biochemical changes:

1. Dopamine release

When a man decides to masturbate, the brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for the feelings of pleasure, reward, and motivation.

• Dopamine plays a crucial role in sexual arousal and the anticipation of pleasurable experiences.

The release of dopamine can create a positive feedback loop, reinforcing the decision to engage in the act.

2. Activation of the limbic system

The decision to masturbate stimulates the limbic system, a set of interconnected brain structures responsible for regulating emotions, memory, and sexual arousal.

• Key structures involved include the hypothalamus, amygdala, and hippocampus.

The hypothalamus, in particular, releases hormones and neurotransmitters that contribute to sexual arousal and facilitate the physiological response.

3. Hormonal changes

As arousal builds, the hypothalamus stimulates the production and release of hormones, such as oxytocin and vasopressin.

• Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” contributes to feelings of bonding and intimacy.

Vasopressin has been linked to the regulation of sexual behavior and motivation.

4. Nitric oxide (NO) release

The decision to masturbate and the subsequent arousal lead to the release of nitric oxide (NO) in the blood vessels of the penis.

• This release of NO causes the blood vessels to dilate.

This increases blood flow to the penis and resulting in an erection.

5. Endorphin release

During sexual arousal and orgasm, the brain releases endorphins, which are natural painkillers and mood elevators.

• These chemicals can create a sense of euphoria and relaxation, contributing to the pleasurable sensations.

These biochemical processes are interconnected and work together to facilitate sexual arousal, erection, and the experience of pleasure during masturbation.

The Spirituality of Masturbation

There are various spiritual texts and religious teachings that offer guidance on the topic of male masturbation.

Here is a brief overview of the perspectives found in some of the major spiritual traditions:

Hinduism

In Hinduism, sexual energy is considered divine and powerful, as it is believed to be a representation of the creative force of the universe.

• The Kama Sutra, an ancient Hindu text, offers guidance on sexual pleasure, including masturbation.

However, some Hindu texts, such as the Bhagavad Gita, emphasize the importance of self-control and moderation, which can be interpreted as discouraging excessive indulgence in sexual activities, including masturbation.

Buddhism

Buddhism teaches the Middle Way, a path of moderation that avoids extremes.

• Sexual desire is considered a form of attachment, which can lead to suffering.

Masturbation is not explicitly mentioned in the Buddhist scriptures, but it can be seen as a form of indulgence in sensual pleasure, which may hinder one’s spiritual progress.

Taoism

Taoist teachings emphasize harmony and balance in all aspects of life, including sexuality.

• Some Taoist practices, such as sexual qigong, involve the cultivation and conservation of sexual energy.

In this context, excessive masturbation may be seen as depleting one’s vital energy (qi), but moderate masturbation could be considered part of a balanced sexual life.

Breaking The Habit of Masturbation

Breaking the habit of masturbation can be challenging, but there are various strategies that can help.

Here are some suggestions:

Pay attention to the situations, feelings, or environments that often lead to the desire to masturbate.

Identifying these triggers can help you avoid or manage them more effectively.

Establish a specific goal for yourself, such as reducing the frequency of masturbation or abstaining completely.

Having a clear objective can help you stay focused and motivated.

A structured daily routine can help minimize idle time and boredom, which can contribute to the urge to masturbate.

Fill your day with productive activities, such as work, exercise, hobbies, or socializing with friends and family.

Strengthening your self-control can help you resist the urge to masturbate.

Develop your discipline by setting small, achievable goals in other areas of your life and gradually building on your successes.

• Engage in physical activity

Regular exercise can help reduce stress, boost your mood, and provide a healthy outlet for your energy.

Physical activities, such as jogging, swimming, or yoga, can help you focus on your body in a positive way.

• Find alternative coping mechanisms

If you use masturbation as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions, try to find healthier alternatives.

Meditation, deep breathing exercises, or talking to a friend or therapist can help you deal with these feelings more effectively.

• Limit exposure to sexual stimuli

Avoid consuming explicit material, such as pornography, and be mindful of your online activities.

Limiting exposure to sexual content can help reduce the frequency of urges to masturbate.

• Develop a support network

Share your goals with trusted friends or family members who can offer encouragement, advice, and accountability.

Alternatively, you can join a support group or online forum where others are dealing with similar challenges.

• Focus on your mental health

Address any underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, which may contribute to the habit of masturbation.

Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial.

• Be patient and persistent

Breaking a habit can be difficult and may require time and effort.

Expect setbacks and be prepared to forgive yourself and continue working towards your goals.

Further Ways of Breaking The Habit of Masturbation

Here are some unusual or unconventional methods that may help in reducing or stopping the habit of masturbation:

Associate the act of masturbation with an unpleasant sensation, such as snapping a rubber band on your wrist, to create a negative association.

Over time, this might reduce the urge to masturbate.

Wearing gloves while sleeping or during times when you might be tempted to masturbate.

You can create a physical barrier and make it more difficult to engage in the act.

Rearrange your room, particularly the area where you typically masturbate.

This change can disrupt the habit loop and make it less likely for you to engage in the behavior.

Repeat a phrase or mantra to yourself when you feel the urge to masturbate.

This could be something like, “I am in control of my desires,” or any other phrase that helps you refocus your attention.

Imagine yourself successfully resisting the urge to masturbate and feeling proud of your self-control.

Visualization can help reinforce your commitment to breaking the habit.

• Engage in creative pursuits

Channel your energy into artistic or creative activities, such as painting, writing, or playing music.

Use these as a way to redirect your focus and reduce the urge to masturbate.

Gradually expose yourself to the triggers that usually lead to the desire to masturbate, but resist the urge to engage in the act.

This can help desensitize you to these triggers over time.

Wear a bracelet, ring, or other piece of jewelry as a physical reminder of your commitment to stop masturbating.

When you see or touch this item, it can help reinforce your resolve.

Conclusion

• Masturbation involves dopamine release, activation of the limbic system, and hormonal changes.
• Major spiritual traditions emphasize moderation, self-control, and the cultivation of sexual energy.
• Simple strategies can help individuals reduce or stop the habit of masturbation.

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Resources

1. Please note that the effectiveness of these methods may vary from person to person, and there is limited scientific evidence supporting their efficacy. As with any behavior change, it is essential to approach this process with patience and persistence, as well as an understanding of your own unique needs and circumstances.While it is challenging to find research studies that directly address the unusual methods to stop masturbation mentioned earlier, some of the techniques are derived from broader principles of habit change and psychological interventions. Here are some studies and resources related to these principles:
2. McRobbie, H., & Hajek, P. (2001). Using aversive smoking in the treatment of tobacco dependence. CNS Drugs, 15(5), 353-363. Aversion therapy has been used in the treatment of various unwanted behaviors, such as smoking and alcohol dependence. A study by McRobbie, H., & Hajek, P. (2001) discusses the application of aversive stimuli in smoking cessation.
3. Neal, D. T., Wood, W., & Quinn, J. M. (2006) highlights the role of environmental cues in habit formation and suggests that changing the environment can disrupt habitual behaviors. Source: Neal, D. T., Wood, W., & Quinn, J. M. (2006). Habits—A repeat performance. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(4), 198-202
4. Holmes, P. S., & Collins, D. J. (2001). The PETTLEP approach to motor imagery: A functional equivalence model for sport psychologists. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 13(1), 60-83.Visualization has been found to be effective in various contexts, including sports performance and behavior change. A study by Holmes, P. S., & Collins, D. J. (2001) discusses the effectiveness of mental imagery in enhancing performance and changing behaviors.
5. Craske, M. G., & Mystkowski, J. L. (2006). Exposure therapy and extinction: Clinical studies. In M. G. Craske, D. Hermans, & D. Vansteenwegen (Eds.), Fear and learning: From basic processes to clinical implications (pp. 217-233). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. Exposure therapy is a well-established psychological intervention for reducing anxiety and fear associated with specific triggers. A study by Craske, M. G., & Mystkowski, J. L. (2006) reviews the principles of exposure therapy and its applications in various contexts.
6. Baumeister, R. F., & Heatherton, T. F. (1996). Self-regulation failure: An overview. Psychological Inquiry, 7(1), 1-15. Triggers and self-awareness: A study on self-regulation by Baumeister, R. F., & Heatherton, T. F. (1996) suggests that understanding one’s triggers and developing self-awareness can be crucial for habit change.
7. Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705-717. Research by Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002) has demonstrated the importance of setting specific and challenging goals for behavior change.
8. Salmon, P. (2001). Effects of physical exercise on anxiety, depression, and sensitivity to stress: A unifying theory. Clinical Psychology Review, 21(1), 33-61. Physical activity and mental health: Numerous studies have shown the positive effects of physical activity on mental health, including stress reduction. For example, a study by Salmon, P. (2001) discusses the benefits of exercise for managing stress and anxiety.
9. Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156. Mindfulness and meditation: Research by Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003) and others has shown that mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques, such as meditation, can help with various mental health issues and habit change.
10. DiClemente, C. C., & Prochaska, J. O. (1998). Toward a comprehensive, transtheoretical model of change: Stages of change and addictive behaviors. In W. R. Miller & N. Heather (Eds.), Treating addictive behaviors (2nd ed., pp. 3-24). New York, NY: Plenum Press. Social support and behavior change: A study by DiClemente, C. C., & Prochaska, J. O. (1998) highlights the importance of social support in the process of behavior change.

Starting a relationship is not as easy as it appears in the movies. In real life, there are doubts, setbacks, personality conflicts, and just about any other situation that you can think of. As such, it is extremely important to understand the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

If you have doubts about a man’s intentions and affections, this article will help you answer the following things:

· What are the signs he does not take me seriously?
· Can he like me but not want to date me?
· What can I do if he doesn’t like me?

Can A Man Like You But Not Want A Relationship?

Well, the short answer is yes. But the truth is a little more complicated. It is true that a man can like you but not want to date you due to the circumstances of his life. That being said, there are many men out there who use their circumstances as an excuse to not date someone, so that is something to look out for.

When someone likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you, things can get confusing. He will be warm and affectionate one day, but cold on another. There are many reasons that such a man wouldn’t date you:

· Lack of self-esteem, he feels unworthy of you
· Trauma regarding past relationships not ending well, being afraid to make the same mistakes
· People around him always had failed relationships, so that is what he expects too
· He believes he is not responsible or financially stable enough for a relationship
· He’s learned something about your past which makes him uncomfortable
· He believes in a bachelor lifestyle with no serious commitments. Studies indicate that men were more likely than women to indicate that they were single in order to be free to flirt around
• He wants to stay single and focus on his health, career, family, etc. for a while

These are some of the most common reasons that a man has for not dating you, even if he likes you. So while it is possible for someone to like you and not want a relationship, you still need to know how to spot the signs of this mindset.

18 Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You

Whether you are in a long-distance relationship or living together, it is important to know if the two of you have a future together. That hope and expectation is what keeps a relationship going after all. Regardless of the status of your relationship, here are some signs that you should watch out for in a man to see if he wants a long-lasting relationship with you.

1. He doesn’t call you back

A sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you notice that he either does not answer your call, takes a long time to call you back, or doesn’t call you back at all. He may claim that he is busy. While that may be true sometimes, if you frequently find him not sparing a little time to call you, it is an obvious sign he doesn’t like you.

2. He puts in minimal effort into the relationship

One way to judge whether he wants a serious relationship with you or not is to see the amount of effort he puts into maintaining the relationship and keeping you happy. A man who is not serious about you would never put in more than a satisfactory effort. If he truly wants to be with you, he would occasionally go above and beyond what is needed to keep you happy.

3. He keeps picking fights with you

During a fight, you’ll see many signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore. You’ll spot them if you pay attention to how often and what you fight about. Studies like this show that people tend to pick fights with their partner when they no longer want to be in a relationship.

Frictions are normal in a healthy relationship, but if you find yourself in a conflict almost all the time, or if you are fighting over absolutely irrelevant reasons, you should realize that he is trying to look for a way to exit the relationship.

4. Your mistakes are unforgivable

One of the burning signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when he is unable to let go of any mistake you make, no matter how small or inconsequential. Everyone makes mistakes, and a loving partner would understand that and try to forgive you. However, if your partner holds every single thing you do wrong against you, they don’t care about you.

Related Reading: 10 Important Components Of Trust In A Relationship

5. He doesn’t want a relationship with you if he always prioritizes other things

A common sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you are placed very low on his list of priorities. This is not to say that you should always be his top priority regardless of the circumstances. But if your boyfriend seems to never prioritize you, or always has something more important to do, you should know that he is not serious about you.

6. He does not act like a partner

If you want to date someone, the most basic expectation that you would have is that they act like your partner. If the guy is not serious about you though, there will be signs of an unequal relationship. If he displays these traits, you should know that he does not care for you:

· Does not call you his partner
· Avoids being romantic or intimate
· Does not consult with you on decisions that affect you both

7. He doesn’t want to be your partner if all he displays is fake intimacy

One of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you realize that he is only loving and doting when you are surrounded by other people. However, once the two of you are on your own, there is a clear disinterest in the relationship from his side. Research shows that people tend to fake intimacy when they don’t want a relationship, but don’t want to be alone either.

If your boyfriend is only loving in public, you can be sure that he wants to use you as a way to boost his social standing amongst his peers, and he does not consider this a committed relationship.

8. He tries to make you angry

Another burning sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when he is constantly trying to make you angry by disrespecting you or saying hurtful things in the relationship. This is a really toxic method that some people employ so that you break up with them and they can avoid feeling guilty. If you find that your boyfriend constantly tries to make you angry, you can be sure that he does not like you and is looking for a way out.

9. It’s only about sex

Another obvious sign he doesn’t like you much is when there isn’t much substance to your relationship outside of sex. Sex is an important part in many committed dynamics, however, it is not the only thing that’s present in a relationship. If you find that your partnership revolves around sex and lacks intimacy or romance, you need to recognize that your boyfriend does not actually like you and that it is a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

10. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you if he does not get jealous

Another sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when he doesn’t get jealous about you. Now being secure about your partner and trusting them is a healthy thing to do. However, there are still lines in a relationship that you don’t cross. If the guy you are casually dating does not seem to get jealous when those lines are crossed, or pretends that those lines don’t exist, you can be sure that he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore.

11. He does not keep his promises

Another sign that he does not want a serious relationship with you, that many people miss out on, is that he never manages to keep his promises. These include both minor and major promises such as:

· He fails to show up on time
· He makes plans then bails out at the last moment
· His behavior in general does not match his word

If your boyfriend shows any of these traits, you can be sure that there is a disinterest in the relationship and he is trying to use you.

Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs A Breakup Is Near And Your Partner Wants To Move On

12. He takes you for granted

A major red flag to watch out for in a guy is to see if he appreciates you for the little things you do or if he feels entitled to the services you perform and refuses to acknowledge them. This should be easy to spot as it is very obvious when a man is just using you and it is one of the signs he is taking you for granted.

13. He does not engage in quality conversations

In any relationship, especially long-distance relationships, communication is the key to a healthy partnership. So if your partner refuses to communicate with you, be it on call or text, he is not interested in having a real relationship with you. This could manifest in the following ways:

• His responses are short and lack any details
• His texts don’t display any curiosity about you
• He shuts down conversations and refuses to set a time to discuss it again
• He is ignoring you and does not respond to your texts on time

14. Everything is a lie

Another heartbreaking sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you realize that he always lies to you. It’s not even a major lie like infidelity, but he lies about the little things such as:

· Lies about who he met and what he did
· Lies about being busy or not having time
· Lies of omission, where he leaves out the details he thinks might upset you

Related Reading: 15 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship

15. He violates your boundaries

A sure-fire sign that he doesn’t want to date you is when he is constantly violating, or trying to push, your boundaries. This is when he deliberately uses the information he has about you to try and make you as uncomfortable as possible. This is a highly toxic and manipulative behavior that you should always be watchful for. If he violates your boundaries, he does not respect you and doesn’t want a relationship with you.

16. He doesn’t plan a future with you

The clearest sign that he doesn’t see himself being in a relationship with you is when he refuses to talk about, or plan, your future together. If a man really wants to be with you, he would be open to discussing moving somewhere together, or how to move ahead in your respective careers while still being with each other.

If you find that a man doesn’t talk about these things, and his answers regarding the future are “I don’t know” or “Let’s see”, he is not looking for a relationship with you. Furthermore, it is also one of the signs that he is not into you.

17. He doesn’t want to be your partner if he openly flirts with others

This sign is so common that it can be considered a cliché. The best way to know if a man wants a monogamous relationship with you is to see if he flirts with others. When a man is into you, he will focus all his attention on you and only you. But if he still flirts with others, or accepts their advances toward him, he is most definitely not interested in having a committed relationship with you.

18. He ghosts you

This really should be the final and most definitive sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Ghosting in relationships is an act of completely cutting off all contact from a person. For all intents and purposes, they are dead to you. If a man ghosts you, the message is pretty clear. He does not like you, he does not want a relationship, and he does not want to see you again. A painful truth to hear, but one that is necessary for you to move on.

Now there is no need to panic if your partner displays any of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. While the feeling stings, it’s important to know that it is not the end of the world. There are steps you can take to ensure that your life does get better and that you eventually find someone who deserves you.

Related Reading: Is Caspering Less Brutal Than Ghosting?

5 Things You Can Do If He Doesn’t Want To Date You

It can be devastating to find out that someone doesn’t want to date you. However, being sad about it is not going to help you in any way. In order to heal in a healthy way, here are 5 things you can do if you realize he doesn’t want to date you.

1. Cut him off

If you see no hope for a future, the best thing you can do is cut him off if he doesn’t want a relationship with you. There is no point in trying to fight a losing battle. Cutting him off will make him miss you. It may feel hard at first, but it will help you in the following ways:

• It will give you time to reflect and heal, you’ll find out that you don’t need him in the first place
• It distances you from the source of your pain, making it easier to deal with
• You don’t carry around the hope of somehow still being with him, allowing you to pursue other interests and improve your life

2. Explore new possibilities

No matter how much you like the guy, you should realize that he is not unique. There are plenty of men just like him, and possibly better. So you should not give up hope – keep exploring your options, there is someone for you out there.

Related Reading: How To Fix A Relationship When One Is Losing Feelings – Expert Recommended Tips

3. Spend time with friends and family

Nothing heals a broken heart better than love from a trusted individual. After being rejected, it’s a good idea to spend time with your friends and family to reorient yourself and focus on the people who are important in your life.

4. Focus on yourself

As weird and counterproductive as it sounds, heartbreak is a really good motivator. While being rejected can sting, it’s best to channel those energies toward improving aspects of your life that you are unhappy with. Here are some things you can do to focus on yourself:

• Learn a skill, like an instrument or something related to your professional field
• Dive deeper into your hobbies
• Learn how to love yourself again by practicing self-care
• Change your look or get a makeover

The point here is to try and feel good about yourself again.

5. Take some space

If you really liked the guy and are unable to cut him off when he doesn’t want a relationship with you, the next best thing is to take some space from him and go low contact for a while. This will let you see that there is more to life than just him and gives you some time to work through your emotions. Taking a relationship break and giving each other some space will help both of you reassess the importance of this relationship.

By now, you are well-armed with all the knowledge and little tips needed for you to understand how serious he is about you. If you had any doubt about your standing with a man before, this should clear that up.

However, you should also understand that even if a man is serious about you, he might still display some of these traits. It is important to understand that people aren’t perfect, and everyone is still a work in progress. Give him some time to show you that he can improve if you want a successful relationship.

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Relationships

We are the first ones to talk about how much we love sex–all kinds of it. Kinky, vanilla, slow, fast, outside, inside, we could go on forever. No matter how you do it or what you’re into, consensual sex is, of course, the one necessary consistent element.

As a brand focused on sexual health and wellness, it is important to talk about all sides of the conversation – sexual violence included. To preface, there is no absolute way to prevent sexual assault, but there are strategies to protect and potentially lessen the opportunities. From being aware of the risks to trusting your gut and stepping in when someone needs your help, we’ll look at several things you can do to help put a stop to sexual violence. But before we get into it, let’s define sexual assault (sexual violence) and sexual  harassment.

Sexual Violence

Sexual activity when consent is not obtained or freely given. It is a serious public health problem in the United States that profoundly impacts lifelong health, opportunity, and well-being. Sexual violence impacts every community and affects people of all genders, sexual orientations, and ages. Anyone can experience or perpetrate sexual violence. The perpetrator of sexual violence is usually someone the survivor knows, such as a friend, current or former intimate partner, coworker, neighbor, or family member. Sexual violence can occur in-person, online, or through technology, such as posting or sharing sexual pictures of someone without their consent, or non-consensual sexting. – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

Sexual Harassment

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature in the workplace or learning environment, according to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Sexual harassment does not always have to be specifically about sexual behavior or directed at a specific person. For example, negative comments about women as a group may be a form of sexual harassment…Although sexual harassment laws do not usually cover teasing or offhand comments, these behaviors can also be upsetting and have a negative emotional effect. – Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN)

In short, sexual harassment is unwelcome sexual attention while sexual assault is sexual contact without consent. Even though we’re differentiating the two, we acknowledge both are wrong and should never happen.

How Common Is This?

Sexual violence touches millions of people a year just in the United States alone. The statistics will never be completely accurate because so many acts of sexual violence go unreported, but here are a few for you to ponder:

• Over 50% of women experience physical sexual violence – according to the CDC
• 1 in 3 of men experience physical sexual violence – according to the CDC
• 1 in 4 women have experienced at least attempted rape – according to the CDC
• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 9 men are made to experience sexual harassment in public – according to the CDC
• Over 80% of women rape survivors and nearly 80% of men rape survivors experience it before 25 – according to the CDC
• Recent estimates put the lifetime cost of rape at $122,461 per survivor, including medical costs, lost productivity, criminal justice activities, and other costs – according to the CDC
• There are over 293,000 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the U.S – according to RAINN

While historically and statistically, women are unproportionally most often the victims of sexual violence, we also want to note that men can be (and are) targeted as well. In fact, the CDC and Department of Justice estimate that about 3% of men in America have experienced an attempted or completed rape. So, what can we do about this?

How to Prevent Sexual Violence

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence network, and the organization has a best practice strategy for preventing possible SV known as C.A.R.E. According to RAINN, “if you find yourself in a situation where someone looks uncomfortable or something doesn’t seem right, consider one of the following ways to step in:

Create a distraction: This can be a subtle way to interrupt in a safe way by giving the person an opportunity to leave the situation.

Ask directly: Asking the person you think is at risk if they are okay or if they need help is a good way to determine if something needs to be done. Ask when you have a moment alone, so it doesn’t alert the aggressor.

Rally others: Sometimes you might not think you can handle what is going on alone. Don’t be afraid to ask others to join you so you can still ensure the person you are trying to protect is safe.

Extend support: Whether something happened or you were able to prevent it, the person might need some type of support after. That could mean walking them to their car or offering to listen if they need someone to talk to. Sometimes the smallest things have the biggest impact.”

To take it further, the CDC launched a specific campaign that is designed to help prevent SV, called STOP SV. The CDC’s full breakdown of STOP SV can be seen here, but here is a summary of some of the approaches outlined:

Promote Social Norms That Protect Against Violence.

There are going to be situations when the victim cannot or will not be able to prevent an occurrence. This is when and why it is so important for any witnesses to step forward and help, such as RAINN’s C.A.R.E strategy. Even though you may not be directly involved, you do have a choice to interrupt, and it can make a world of a difference. Even though sexual violence can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time, from the numbers we know women are more likely to experience sexual violence/harassment. Because of this, men and boys should be taught how to be allies and expected to conduct themselves that way. For sexual violence to end, be part of the solution instead of inactive bystanders or worse, part of the problem.

Teach Skills to Prevent Sexual Violence.

Social-emotional learning in general can be such a positive for many aspects of life, but it is especially important for preventing sexual violence. Teach healthy and safe dating skills to teenagers so they have the knowledge, standards, and tools to act respectfully and know when someone is not being respectful. If teenagers know what    red flags to look out for, they have a better chance of avoiding a situation they don’t want to be in. Promote healthy sexuality…comprehensive sex education programs. Enough said. Empowerment-based training is key to prevention as it gives people the strong mindset they need to know they can do something about the situation and that they hold power and can take certain steps to ensure their safety.

Provide Opportunities to Support and Empower Girls and Women.

Strengthen economic support for women and families essentially means there are financial/power imbalances between men and women that have been linked to risk of SV and if women gain      more economic security, it can lessen their risk. Strengthening leadership and opportunities for girls can be so impactful as it grows their confidence and knowledge. This in turn promotes better results from education, employment, and other productive community aspects so they can, again, have a greater chance to lessen the gender gap that SV is linked to.

Create Protective Environments.

It is so important for kids to feel safe in schools and know they have support from staff, so improving safety and monitoring in schools needs to be a priority. The same goes for people at work–establishing and consistently applying workplace policies is crucial for employees to feel safe and focus on their work not sexual assault/harassment threats.

Support Victims/Survivors to Lessen Harms.

Victim-centered services are necessary for survivors to have the resources they need to recover and thrive afterwards. Treatment for victims of SV, such as therapy services, are also proven to be extremely helpful in the recovery process. Treatment for at-risk children and families to prevent problem behavior including sex offending will help in preventing violent habits and mindsets from forming at the source. When a person is prone to violence, they were most likely exposed to excessive amounts of it in their youth.

 

Resources

If you or someone you know are affected by sexual violence, please use the following resources to seek help:

National Sexual Assault Hotline (available 24 hours): 1-800-656-4673

Find a trained sexual assault advocate near you: https://www.centers.rainn.org/

Seek support for SV and mental health:

Open Path Collective – find a clinician

Psychology Today – find a therapist

Inclusive Therapists – find a therapist

Care for yourself:

Self-care strategies

Coping skills

Presenting the Giant AskMen Guide to Everything You Need to Know About Semen

It’s incredibly common and a crucial ingredient in the creation of almost every person who’s ever lived. Humanity produces masses of it every single day. Yet there’s a strange and mysterious quality to it, and to be frank, most people don’t know very much about it, even when it’s a normal part of their day-to-day lives.

What is this magical whitish, mostly liquid substance that people with penises produce when they ejaculate? You might blow a load of it, or shoot ropes of it. It goes by different names — cum, spunk, jizz, baby batter, splooge — but the technical term for it is “semen.”

RELATED: Ejaculation Etiquette: Where to Cum and What to Do After

Those on the receiving end of it can feel all kinds of different ways about it. It can be a source of terror for people who don’t want to get pregnant (“Don’t you dare finish inside me!”), of joy for people who do (“Yes! Give me a baby!”) and of significant erotic power for many people, regardless of whether they have a uterus or not (“Oh, yeah, get it all over me!”).

Those who produce it — whether they’re cis men or boys, trans women or non-binary people — may glory in seeing how often or how much they can produce, or how far they can shoot it; or they may worry about its volume, consistency, smell and taste.

It can also transmit infections, which can vary from mild to a matter of life and death. And it can cause pregnancy — which, in addition to being a potentially life-changing event for both people involved, for good or for ill, is also a serious medical condition that can, in extreme cases, end the life of the person bearing the fetus.

In short, it can be a source of incredible pleasure and also a significant contributor to unhappiness. But what is semen, really? And what are the basic facts you should know about it that you maybe weren’t taught in sex education? AskMen spoke to half a dozen different experts to get the lowdown on your loads. Here’s what they had to say:

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What Is Semen?

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“Semen is the fluid expelled out of the penis during ejaculation,” says Suzannah Weiss, certified sex educator and resident sexologist for the erotic pleasure platform FrolicMe. “Typically, it contains sperm, as well as other fluids that help to nourish and transport the sperm. These fluids come from glands such as the prostate gland and seminal vesicles, while the sperm itself is made from the testicles.”

“Semen is a creamy, slightly yellowish or grayish, combination of fluids that includes sperm and water,” says Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW, certified sexologist, and founder and director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. “The sperm in semen are tadpole-like reproductive cells that contain half of the genetic information to create human offspring.”

While sperm is an important component of semen in terms of its function in causing pregnancy, those tadpole-shaped cells don’t actually account for much of the actual volume of semen, primarily because of how microscopically small each sperm is.

Even with tens or hundreds of millions of sperm cells in a normal ejaculation, sperm accounts for just “2 to 5% of semen,” says Sarah Melancon, Ph.D., the sexuality and relationships expert for SexToyCollective.com. “Semen also includes various amino acids, enzymes, nutrients, and fructose.”

RELATED: 3 Reasons You Should Get an STI Test (and Where to Do It)

“Overall, semen is a vital part of male reproductive health and fertility,” says Mak Adikami, cofounder of lustyboy.com. “It contains important nutrients and hormones that support normal functioning, and it can contain potentially harmful compounds in small amounts. Ultimately, it is important to practice safe sex and get regular medical checkups to ensure that your semen is healthy and safe.”

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The Age When You Start to Produce Semen

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“People with penises begin to produce semen roughly around the age of puberty,” says Rohit Walwaikar, MD, a consultant psychiatrist with Allo Health. “This period varies from person to person, depending on a lot of factors, such as genetics, comorbid conditions, male reproductive hormone levels, and lastly any anatomical defects in the reproductive system.”

In numerical terms, the experts cited in this piece mentioned an age range from 10 to 16 years old, although the middle of that range, from 13 to 14, seems to be more common.

If you were assigned male at birth, puberty is typically the period when you begin to produce testosterone, says Adikami, “which is responsible for the development of the male reproductive organs. This is also when the testicles start to produce sperm.”

“It is important to note that although semen production is linked to puberty,” he adds, “it is not the same as being able to ejaculate. To ejaculate, a person needs to have an orgasm, and this is something that will usually occur after a person reaches a certain level of sexual arousal.”

However, not everything happens at the same time or in the same order for every person. As Weiss points out, “‘dry’ or non-ejaculatory orgasms” can happen before you start producing semen, and Melancon notes that ejaculations with semen can also occur before you start producing sperm.

“It is also important to understand that while semen production usually starts at puberty, it can take a while to reach its full potential,” says Adikami. “The amount of semen produced can vary greatly from person to person, and it can take months or even years for the full potential to be reached.”

RELATED: How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

Finally, Kort notes that for people who’ve only just started producing it, their semen “may be only a few drops at first and it is clear instead of a milky color,” and adds that “the glands that produce semen are independent of other body systems such as height and body hair.”

Meaning, if you start “showing signs of puberty in other areas, it does not necessarily mean [you] will start producing semen at the same time.”

While men and other people with penises typically hit their peak in terms of semen volume per ejaculation in their 30s, as they continue to age, they’ll begin to produce less semen, with most of the experts we spoke to citing the 50s as a point where semen production may dip noticeably.

And while they may find themselves less fertile — due to decreased sperm quality, rather than decreased semen volume — at that age, Weiss points out that, if you produce sperm, it’s still technically possible to impregnate someone no matter what age you are.

“Semen has the ability to get someone pregnant unless someone has undergone a vasectomy (which prevents sperm from entering the semen) or has dealt with a health condition or medical treatment that compromises fertility, such as radiotherapy or hormone therapy for prostate cancer,” she explains.

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Semen Ingestion Facts

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While much of sex involves condoms, and acts like handjobs, mutual masturbation or phone sex don’t involve semen entering into another person’s body, sex acts like blowjobs, and unprotected penetrative sex, whether anal or vaginal, can and do lead to one person’s semen entering into another person’s body.

While this may be the desired result on the part of both parties involved, and isn’t necessarily cause for alarm in and of itself, getting semen in someone else’s orifice(s) can, in many different scenarios, have negative consequences, so it’s important to know the potential risks involved before you proceed.

Semen and Pregnancy

Perhaps most notably, semen plays an important role in conception, aka getting someone pregnant. This happens when someone with a penis ejaculates inside the vagina of someone with a uterus, most commonly with a cis man and cis woman.

In these cases, the sperm cells in your semen — aka the 2 to 5% of it by volume — ”must travel through the cervix and uterus and then must find the egg in order to fertilize it, and create a pregnancy,” Adikami says.

RELATED: Pregnancy Guide for Expectant Fathers

If a person with a uterus — this could be a cis woman or girl, but it could also be a trans man or a non-binary person who was assigned female at birth — is ovulating “and semen is introduced into the vagina, then it is possible to cause pregnancy,” says Melancon. “Pregnancy is a potential risk five days before and five days after ovulation, termed the ‘fertile window.’

While Melancon, notes that semen “cannot cause pregnancy when a female is outside of her fertile window,” she also points out that “sperm can live inside the vagina for up to five days” — as well as the fact that people with uteruses don’t just magically know when they’re ovulating: “A female partner would have to track her cycle to know her fertile window; otherwise, always assume pregnancy is a risk, and engage in safer sex practices.”

Kort adds that, in rare cases, “semen can cause pregnancy even if the woman does not have intercourse,” says Kort.

Engaging in oral, manual or anal sex, if you’re not careful, can lead to trace amounts of semen entering into the vagina, which could lead to a sperm cell eventually reaching an egg and fertilizing it. That’s why, if you or your partner(s) aren’t interested in conceiving a child, you should use condoms or other birth control methods.

Semen and Sexually Transmitted Infections

Whether your sexual partner has a uterus or is ovulating or not, semen can also carry with it more than just pregnancy-causing spermatozoa — it can also carry with it sexually transmitted infections.

“STIs (sexually transmitted infections) are infections in which a bacteria or virus is present in bodily fluids, including semen,” says Kort. “If this happens, the STI can be passed to a partner.”

“When it comes to STIs, transmission can occur through any type of unprotected sexual contact,” says Adikami. “This means that if a person engages in sexual activity with someone who has an STI, they can contract it through direct contact with the infected person’s bodily fluids, including semen.”

“Semen can carry a variety of STIs, such as HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. HIV is transmitted when an infected person’s bodily fluids, including semen, come into contact with the mucous membranes of another person.”

However, not all STIs are transmitted through semen — herpes and HPV, for instance, “are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact,” Weiss notes, meaning there can be transmission even without an ejaculation. As such, wearing a condom remains a best practice for protecting yourself and others from STIs.

Not all STIs are serious matters. Kort adds that gonorrhea and chlamydia are “treatable immediately with antibiotics that are easily available, inexpensive and effective.” But getting them — and passing them on to one or more partners — isn’t fun for anyone, so taking measures to prevent that transmission is a good idea.

RELATED: Safer Sex Mistakes That Can Lead to Sexually Transmitted Infections

Semen Ingestion Safety

“With a stellar sexual health status upon prior testing, ingesting semen is a safe practice,” says Christine Kingsley, health and wellness director of the Lung Institute. “Swallowing ejaculate is no better or worse than drinking another person’s sweat. It’s a form of excretion that the body creates as a byproduct of all the functions of its systems.”

“If there are no STIs present, then it is generally safe to ingest semen,” Melancon agrees. “There are two extremely rare circumstances where ingesting semen would be dangerous: If you ate a food to which your partner is severely allergic several hours before sex, it is very rare but possible for your semen to contain proteins of that food, and lead to an allergic reaction. Allergies to semen itself are also possible, though rare.”

“If you are allergic to semen, you will notice symptoms such as itching, burning, and pain wherever the semen made contact around half an hour later,” says Weiss. “If this is the case, you should avoid direct contact with semen by using condoms.”

Additionally, semen itself can be an indicator of whether it’s safe to consume, says Kort: “If the semen has a foul smell or is not the normal whitish to grayish color, your partner could have an infection or health problem. Red-colored semen can mean inflammation of the glands that produce it. Yellow or green semen can be caused by an infection, medication or vitamins.”

If you’re not allergic to it, and your partner doesn’t have any communicable diseases, ingesting semen “may even have some benefits,” though, Weiss says: “Research has linked semen exposure with reduced risk of depression and preeclampsia, though these studies looked at semen exposure via intercourse, not oral sex. Semen also contains vitamins such as zinc as well as hormones such as melatonin (which helps you sleep).”

However, “It would take gallons of semen to actually deliver a substantial amount that can positively improve one’s immunity or overall health,” says Kingsley. And, as you’ll see in this next section, gallons of semen can be hard to come by.

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Semen Volume

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If you’ve ever spent any time in a kitchen, you may be familiar with the teaspoon as a unit of measurement — it’s one of the most commonly used ones in many recipes. It’s also approximately how much semen the average ejaculation contains, at least at the upper range.

That’s right — not a tablespoon (15 ml), a simple teaspoon (5 ml). While porn actors may have you thinking otherwise, the data shows that a mere 2 to 5 ml of liquid is the standard range for semen volume.

That being said, it’s possible to ejaculate more or less than that at any given moment depending on a handful of factors.

“According to the World Health Organization,” Adikami says, “the average amount of semen produced in a single ejaculation is [between] 1.5 and 7.6 ml. However, the actual amount of semen produced in a single ejaculation can vary from as little as 0.2 ml up to 10 ml or more.”

So what are those factors? As discussed earlier, age can be a significant one.

“Generally speaking, younger men tend to produce more semen than older men, as young men typically have higher levels of testosterone and other hormones that stimulate the production of semen,” says Adikami, who also mentions “alcohol and drug use, smoking and certain medications” as possible factors.

However, whether you’re ejaculating less than a milliliter or over 10 times that much, it’s likely not much to be worried about either way.

“The only time that semen volume becomes a concern is when you ejaculate after a while of no sex or masturbation, and the semen produced is watery,” says Kingsley. “Normal, healthy semen should have a consistency similar to a raw egg or a runny jelly. Holding out for a couple of weeks will increase the semen content in the ejaculate and, therefore, make it more volumized and slightly thicker.”

RELATED: Semen Retention: How It Works, Its Benefits & Challenges

Increasing Semen Volume

If you are wondering about increasing the volume of your semen, the first thing you should know is that it’s not either important or necessary when it comes to your fertility.

“Men in general associate semen volume with fertility and masculinity,” says Kort, but he notes that there’s not a scientific link to this association.

“There is no known health or fertility benefit from shooting more semen,” he adds. “Unfortunately, pornography depicts a different, untrue picture about semen volume.”

It’s also not likely that producing more semen will make a significant difference to your partner. While some people may get very aroused by seeing a man shoot “big loads,” the absence thereof isn’t a common complaint from people who date men.

Ultimately, we’re all bound by natural constraints here.

“Normal semen volume is about 2 ml to 5 ml per ejaculate,” says Kort. “It doesn’t and can’t vary much from this. Many products on the market will claim to increase semen volume, but be very cautious. These don’t work.”

Weiss agrees that there “isn’t much evidence behind” these supplements, noting that “the best way to increase your semen volume is to go a period of time without ejaculating, so that there is more available.”

RELATED: How to Increase Semen Volume

However, even if you can’t increase your semen production radically above the standard range of about a teaspoon, abstaining from ejaculating for a period of time isn’t the only thing you can do to positively impact your semen volume.

“First, you should make sure you’re getting enough nutrients,” says Adikami. “Eating a healthy diet full of fruits, vegetables, and proteins can help increase semen volume. A healthy libido is also important, so make sure you’re getting enough sleep and avoiding excessive stress.”

“You should also try to exercise regularly,” he adds. “Exercise increases blood flow to the penis, which can help increase semen volume. Additionally, exercise can help reduce stress levels and increase testosterone levels, both of which can have a positive effect on semen volume.”

There’s also the question of your relationship to addictive substances like nicotine and alcohol. Smoking and drinking, Adikami notes, can negatively impact your fertility, and your semen volume, too.

On the dietary side of things, Melancon notes that “ashwagandha and zinc may help,” and Walwaikar mentions “amino acids, most notably d-aspartate” as potentially working in your favor.

Finally, Kort points out that, as noted earlier, volume increases and decreases over time: “Peak volume is produced between the ages of 30 to 35, and lowest volume is experienced when men reach 50 to 55 and older.”

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Semen Taste and Smell

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So what does semen taste and smell like? It can be a tricky question to answer.

“Like all other bodily fluids, the ejaculate’s taste and smell vary depending on one’s physical state,” says Kingsley. “Because what’s excreted out of the body, be it ejaculate, sweat, or odor, reflects the chemical reactions that take place within our system, their taste, smell, and consistency majorly depend on certain foods, medications, drinks that are consumed, or even the overall state of one’s health.”

RELATED: Worst Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex

Let’s start with its taste. While Weiss describes it as having “a bleach-like, chlorine-like, or salty taste,” and Adikami calls it “salty, slightly sweet,” Kingsley points out that “different people can register different tastes in different ways, so some may experience semen to be tasteless while others may experience it to be bitter.”

“In general,” says Kort, “it can taste slightly salty, sometimes slightly bitter, sometimes a little sweet and sometimes a little coppery.” Melancon, for her part, notes its “distinct flavor that is difficult to describe.”

Got that? Ultimately, the truth is that it varies from person to person, both in terms of the person producing the semen and the person tasting it, and that how each person’s semen tastes may change over time based on a variety of factors.

(In fact, Kort notes, “the thickness of semen will change how it tastes. If it is thick and creamy, its taste may be more intense, and if it is thin and runny, it will be easier to swallow and less intense in taste.”)

RELATED: Understanding the Strange Tree That Smells Like Semen

So what about the smell? While Melancon says it shouldn’t smell especially strong, it will still emit a slight odor, and Kingsley and Adikami both mention its potentially smelling somewhat like chlorine.

However, Melancon notes, if it carries a “particularly foul taste or smell,” it could be a sign of infection.

Changing Semen Taste

If you enjoy receiving oral sex, it’s not a bad idea to think about the taste of your own semen, particularly if you’re hoping that your partner(s) will swallow your ejaculate.

While taste and smell, like volume, tend to only exist within a certain range — you’re never going to be able to make your cum taste like vanilla ice cream, sadly — it is possible to shift them within that range.

While working on making your cum taste better is certainly a noble goal, Melancon points out that there isn’t any hard scientific research on semen taste — but there is a generally accepted group of things that will influence its taste. As with volume, it has a lot to do with what you eat and drink.

RELATED: How to Make Semen Taste Better

“Eating foods like pineapples, celery, and melon can make the taste of semen sweeter, while red meat and dairy products can make it more savory,” Adikami notes. “On the other hand, certain medications, such as antibiotics and antidepressants, as well as recreational drugs, can also affect the taste.”

“Fruit in general may cause semen to taste sweeter, while beverages like coffee and alcohol can give it a more bitter taste when consumed in large quantities,” Weiss adds.

Kingsley highlights “citrusy and sweet foods like pineapple and oranges,” while Kort mentions lemon, cranberries, wheatgrass and peppermint — and both mention cinnamon.

Diet, of course, Adikami notes, isn’t the only way to improve matters — you can also drink “plenty of water,” which he says “helps to flush out toxins from the body.”

RELATED: Worst Food to Order and Eat on a First Date

On the flip side, the experts cite things like smoking doing drugs, drinking alcohol and caffeine, eating candy and salty, fatty fast food, garlic and onions, meat and dairy, and high-sulfur cruciferous foods like cauliflower, broccoli, and cabbage as things that can negatively impact your semen’s taste.

Either way, Kort notes, “changes in eating habits will not change the taste of your semen right away. It might take a few weeks.”

So if you’ve got a hot first date coming up, it may already be too late to make much of a difference — but it’s not too late to have a positive impact for a second or third date a little while later.

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It has various modes such as a tree editor, a code editor, and a plain text editor. The editor can be used as a component in your own web application. It can be loaded as CommonJS module, AMD module, or as a regular javascript file. Json Viewer is a simple and free JSON viewer software that you can use to view JSON files on your PC.

Wiki Sites: What They Are & How to Create One

If Notepad is missing in Windows 10 or Windows 11 computer, follow the below steps to fix the missing Notepad problem and reinstall Notepad. Run system restore and restore to time before you run this debloater script. EaseUS MobiSaver will automatically scan iPhone/iPad/iPod, and find present notes and even some lost one for you.

The linked howto shows the ` -multiInst` being outside the quotes around the executable path in the Target field. The advantage of all of these approaches is that the new instance already includes the file that you had open in the original instance. Click on the tab for the file and then drag it outside the Notepad++ window and drop it anywhere outside; this will open a new instance with the desired file. For this to work, the first instance should not be maximized so that you have space to drop the tab outside of the window. In the following window, you have to select the Delimiter on which the data from the Text File will split in different columns. In the following window, you have to select the Delimiter on which the data from theText Fileor Notepad will split into different columns.

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If you’re not already familiar with coding basics, it pretty much sinks or swims. Showing recent items.Search or use up and down arrow keys to select an item. As there are numerous possible causes of a network issue, having the knowledge and tools to troubleshoot it will help save time. Name server lookup is a command-line tool that lets you find the internet protocol address or domain name system record of a…

Finally, to save this JSON data in Excel format, click “File” in Excel’s top-left corner. If you’d like to remove or change the positions of your columns, right-click a column and choose an appropriate option. Create a HTML table from keys and values of a JSON object. Extract all values or keys from a JSON object as a flat list. This example converts a complex JSON object to text.

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In life, many people say some things, but they can act differently from what they say. Also, there are chances that their actions are the total opposite of their words. 

When someone acts differently than you expect, it may hurt you, especially when you are in love with that person, for example, your partner. 

It is essential to be honest in a relationship and not make promises you can’t keep. If you are acting differently than you are, the person you love may love the person that you are in front of them, but not the real you.

You can’t just say that you love your partner without showing it. Words are not enough; let the actions speak instead of you. There are ways to show that you love them, you are loyal, and that they can trust you with all of their heart.

It’s not hard to make your partner happy, and it’s not hard to show them that they can rely on you for everything. 

“Building trust is never easy but if you present yourself using eye contact and giving out other body language signals such as smiling is a good start. Presenting yourself as a warm caring person is a good indication that you are trustworthy.” -says John Cappello

Also, with this article, we can make it easier for you, and we will show you how love actions speak louder than words.

Words vs Actions: Why Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words 

It takes effort to find the difference between actions and words. It’s true that when someone compliments you or is very kind and polite to you, it can make you feel special. But to be honest, that’s not enough.

Often, all of us can make promises without fulfilling them. But that’s not the point. If it concerns the person you love, you must change how you show your emotions.

Actions speak louder than words because we say things that don’t have real meaning. Or even worse, we make empty promises that can affect our relationship. But, when we are speaking about actions, it’s different.

Our lovers will understand what we feel towards them more easily because of our actions. And because of our words, they can get trust issues and be insecure about our love towards them.

 For example, tomorrow is your anniversary, and your partner expects a present from you, but you already forgot it. Then, your partner thinks you no longer love them because you forgot a significant day. Maybe you are not interested in celebrating anniversaries, but the crucial part is your partner’s feelings.

“It’s not easy to be in a happy and healthy relationship, and it can work out if you put more effort into it. If you truly love your partner, show them with your actions because actions mean more than words. A partner who treats you well is truly a blessing, and it’s very rare. Be rare!”

10 ways when actions speak louder than words in a relationship

As I have mentioned before, it will be much easier to use your actions as a love speech instead of words after reading this article. Here are ten examples to show when actions speak louder than words:

• Be honest and treat them with respect.

It’s necessary to be honest in a relationship. It would be best if you were like an open book to your partner; they should know what you think or how you feel about them. And without respect, your relationship can’t survive.

• Focus your attention on them.

There is no better feeling when you have someone you can tell all the things that happened throughout the day. Listen to them carefully, and don’t act like they are overreacting over something; make them talk openly to you.

• Give them gifts more often.

You are happy when you buy something for yourself but will be happier when it’s from your partner.

No word or gift in this world will take the place of your attention. Try to make more time for your partner; it will make them happier.

• Show that you care about them.

Whenever you message them to ask if they feel better or did they take a medicine, it will show them that you care about them; this won’t cost you anything but may improve their day.

• Introduce them to your friends and family.

If you are in a relationship with plans for the future, it will be best if you introduce them to your friends and family. With that, you will build trust and a better bond.

 Show your partner that they can rely on you for everything. That will make them feel like you protect them.

• Make plans for the future.

It’s good sometimes to make a plan for traveling together or to dream about your wedding day. Your partner will finally understand that you want to spend a lifetime with them.

Sometimes it is good to get out of your comfort zone. If there is something your partner wants to do, but you hate it, it won’t cause any problem if you try it to make your partner happy. 

• Keep every tiny detail about them in mind.

 If you remember their favorite meal or cafe, you will show them that you think about them more than they think you do.

 Relationship Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Quotes

And here are a few quotes to show how actions speak louder than words. And, of course, to motivate you to use more actions than words.

• “Love is in the details. It’s in every day.” -Cambria Herbert.
• “The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”-William Morris.
• “Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” -Harvey Mackay.
• “Never give your partner a reason to doubt your feelings for them.”-Unknown.
• “Your partner should be the first one you will rely on”-Unknown.

Conclusion

Actions and words are not the same things. When you are in a relationship, you must give the love and attention that your partner deserves. And remember, actions speak louder than words. So, build a better bond with them, show them they can trust you, and look at how your relationship will bloom.

“My wife thinks I don’t respect her boundaries. At least that’s what she wrote in her diary!” This can pass off as humor but sadly, it isn’t just a joke. It is an example of how most married couples either mock boundaries or are totally clueless about setting boundaries in a marriage. To most of us, marriage is about barging into each other’s space any time and ridiculing the idea of ‘personal space’ once married. Studies suggest that marital therapists use the idea of ‘boundary’ in a relationship as a useful tool to determine who is responsible for what and to assign a sense of accountability for behaviors, feelings, thoughts, tasks, and so on. .

To shed more light on how boundaries can define whether a couple would have a happy relationship or not, communication coach Swaty Prakash (PG Diploma in Counseling and Family Therapy), who also specializes in addressing issues in couple relationships, writes about boundaries in marriage and the 15 critical boundaries that experts around the world recommend.

What Are Boundaries?

The few words a marital journey begins with are – forever, two become one, soulmates, and so on. But ‘forever’ is not really ‘always’ or ‘24X7’ or ‘together in everything’. These beautiful yet very demanding terms are often mistaken for some stifling and dangerous synonyms. As a result, the couples begin their ‘happily ever after’ with an expectation to become one, with no space in between.

An impossible feat, such aspirations lead to suffocation and friction. This is why, understanding boundaries and setting them does not happen in the middle of a fight, but much earlier so the fight doesn’t happen at all.

So, what do healthy boundaries look like? A personal boundary is:

• An imaginary safety shield around you that keeps you connected with your partner(s) while also making sure that you limit your emotions and energies while dealing with others
• Helpful in bringing forth choices to act, react, and respond instead of burdening you and others with excessive expectations
• Like a roadmap to your choices, wishes, needs, and aspirations and if both the partners etch boundaries for each other to see, they shed perceptions and come forth as who they really are

Effective boundaries:

• Are clear and reasonable
• Take care of your needs as well as of your partner’s
• Set clear expectations in relationship
• Help couples stay away from blame game
• Don’t make you selfish or controlling

Related Reading: 21 Elements Of Developing Respect In A Relationship

Why Are Boundaries Important In Marriages?

When two people fall in love, they almost become blinded and biased toward each other. Flaws and differences take a backseat and everything looks perfect. But things obviously change when this initial honeymoon phase goes by and a) their real personalities clash, b) or one of them resentfully compromises, c) or they withdraw from one another.

Healthy boundaries in a marriage mean letting the other partner know your needs and who you are as a person. Here’s why you need to create mutual boundaries with your spouse:

• Boundaries help partners define ownership and responsibilities
• Boundaries remove the vicious circle of blame-shifting
• Boundaries ensure respect for self, and each other
• Boundaries ensure both partners have an equal say in the relationship

While there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution when it comes to setting reasonable healthy boundaries in a marriage, here are some common ones you need to establish early on:

• Physical boundaries
• Sexual boundaries
• Emotional boundaries
• Family boundaries
• Social media boundaries
• Financial boundaries

Sometimes when couples do not have any marked boundaries, they end up feeling hurt, misunderstood, violated, confronted, insulted, and rejected at various instances. In couples sans boundaries, such complaints from each other are quite common and sometimes catapult into much larger issues over time. Here are a few examples of how couples find problems with each other when they have no set boundaries between them.

• How can you just leave me on a Saturday night and go out with your friends? You know how miserable I feel when you are out partying
• Washing dishes is not my only job! I know you are tired too but I can’t do these household chores by myself. Every time I hug you, you become so stiff. Why don’t you tell me if you don’t like being hugged or is it that you don’t like me anymore?
• My spouse’s parents disrespect me all the time. Why can’t he ever go and meet them alone?
• I don’t like that friend of yours. She tries to get very close to you physically. Can’t she stay away?
• You are such a spendthrift! I am the one who struggles with paying bills and school fees while you enjoy shopping

How To Set Boundaries In Marriage

Remember the game of treasure hunt that we played as kids, where the treasure was hidden by one and sought by the rest? Whenever the seeker went too far away from the ‘treasure’, the treasurer kid would scream “cold!” while if they were close to the object, the kid would jump nervously and scream “hot!”.

Well, a marriage is much like this game. You come too close to the partner and it becomes too hot (unfortunately, not in a hot, romantic way) and when you step far away, you realize that it is now too cold.

So how do you make sure that your interactions with your partner are neither too hot nor too cold? How do you stay away just enough to rush back in time? Here is how partners can set clear, reasonable boundaries and find the best way to protect a marriage.

• Set them early: Set the boundaries early in the relationship so that it doesn’t feel awkward later and, in fact, helps build a healthier bond that only strengthens with time
• Don’t make it about you alone: Two people are in the relationship and so a marriage needs both the partners to communicate their share of limitations, discomforts, and boundaries
• Focus on ‘I’ statements: Don’t make it accusatory or a way to condemn your partner. Communicate your feelings and tell them about how you feel and not what they do/don’t do. Instead of saying “When you do this …”, choose to say: “I feel … when …”

Related Reading: 9 Signs You Have Serious Communication Issues In Your Relationship

15 Critical Boundaries In Marriage Experts Swear By

Now that you know how vital boundaries are in a marriage, here are 15 critical boundaries marriage experts from around the world have listed for a healthy marital life.

1. Let the past be in the past

Alex and Sophie met on a dating site and would talk for hours about everything a newly in-love couple would talk about. Fears, insecurities, feats, family, but while Alex told Sophie all about his past relationships, Cynthia chose to not divulge much.

Two years later, they decide to marry but Alex was now insistent on knowing everything about her past sexual encounters and wouldn’t take no for an answer. For Cynthia, it was a boundary she wanted to set two years ago but didn’t do it properly. They couldn’t get past this difference and broke up.

We are not recommending lying to your partner about your past, but it is very important to set boundaries about how much you want to talk or discuss about your past relationships.

Example: “I do not wish to share anything about my past sexual experiences unless it has a direct impact on your physical/sexual health.”

2. Your key to happiness should be in your pocket

While partners should do things for each other’s happiness, putting the entire onus of your contentment on the partner is unfair, impossible, and a perfect recipe for disaster. So take the reins of your happiness and be responsible for your feelings. A happy partner doesn’t weigh down the marriage with expectations and grudges.

Self-love is not selfish or narcissistic, instead it boosts mental health, self-esteem, and harmony with partners.  As Jeffrey Borenstein, president of the Brain & Behaviour Research Foundation,, puts it, “Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”

Example: “I understand you’re missing me, I miss you too. But I can’t spend time with you when I’m in the middle of work. It affects my productivity.

3. Your friendships are just as important for you to nurture

A major cause of rift between couples is an underlying jealousy or suspicion. This emotion stems from the conditioned thought that partners should not have close friendships outside marriage. If you and your partner can set these boundaries and discuss the importance and need of individual quality time with your respective friends, trust us, both of you would be in a much more enjoyable and happier space.

Example: “I would love for you to bond with my friends but I would like to hang out with them on my own as well. I encourage you to do the same with your friends.”

Related Reading: 7 Reasons To Have Your Own Friend Circle Distinct From Your Spouse

4. Be clear about how much can your partner share about you

Not everyone is comfortable discussing their lives with families or friends and partners come with different attachment styles. So in case you are a private person who doesn’t pick up the phone and tell every detail to your best friend or family at the drop of the hat, let your partner know this about yourself.

Some families like to discuss each other’s lives at every gathering while many others keep the little details to themselves. If you and your partner have different stands on this, it is best to set boundaries about how much and what all can be discussed with others.

Example: “I am not comfortable talking about my salary and job profile with your family. Please keep such information to yourself and don’t discuss it with them.”

5. Decide to talk respectfully with one another

The conflict resolution strategies of a married couple play a huge role in determining how well-tuned and loved their marital life is. Couples, who turn their fights into screaming matches or, in many cases, if one partner yells and hurls abuses and the other one quietly swallows their pride, are usually the ones with a lot of grudges, unresolved issues, and hidden anger.

• Saying hurtful nasty things to each other is not the difficult part of a marriage, keeping them to yourself and resisting the urge to hit below the belt, however, is
• There is an old saying that it is far easier to stay with someone who respects you than with someone who just loves you
• Let each other know that no matter how nasty a topic is, the fight would always be respectful and within boundaries
• Tell them exactly what you find upsetting (with instances, if any) and what you want changed

Example: “When I expressed my opinion at the party, you mocked me and said that I don’t know what I am talking about. I don’t appreciate being talked down or devalued like this.

6. Limits of honesty need to be discussed

Everyone wants and expects their partner to be 100% honest, but in reality, you need to discuss this percentage with them. It is important to draw the line between love and privacy in a few important areas. These are the areas in which your honesty needs to be outlined:

• Setting the boundary for how much you want to divulge about your past
• Setting the boundary for what you will divulge about your other partner (if you’re in an open/polyamorous relationship)
• Setting the boundary for how much you want to know about your partner’s other romantic/sexual interests

Related Reading: 13 Beautiful Ways To Date Yourself

7. Boundaries regarding how you speak about each other in front of others

A couple from Chicago, Arin and Steve, have been married for 20 years. They shared with us, “We decided that no matter what happens, we will never bring each other down in front of others. We will always have each other’s backs. Decades later, we still feel that this one pact has helped our marriage tide over a lot of tough times.” This ‘never throwing you under the bus’ is a proven key to rock-solid marriages and one of the green flags in the relationship.

Example: “We may have a lot of differences. But in front of your family or mine, I will not discuss our fights. I expect the same from you.”

8. Ultimatums should have no space in the relationship

Statements such as “I’m done with you” or “I want a divorce” threaten the very foundation of a marriage and even though they are often said in a fit of rage, they can damage the ties beyond repair. Such emotional boundaries in marriage are another crucial limit to set in order to save yourselves from getting hurt.

Example: “I need to regulate my emotions and step away from this conversation right now because I don’t want to say anything hurtful that I’ll regret later.”

9. Relationship rules about loyalty and trust

As per research, infidelity and commitment issues are two of the most common reasons for breakups are not because of infidelity but because of different definitions of infidelity. Infidelity isn’t just about being sexually unfaithful or sleeping with someone else (though this is a very broad parameter and subjective), it is defined as the ‘lack of loyalty or support’.

But what is loyalty and how do you define support? These terms mean different things for different people. Family background, cultural beliefs, different religious beliefs, past experiences, and education as well as exposure to such issues are some of the factors that shape a person’s perception of loyalty and fidelity.

Example: “At parties, I am happy to see you having a good time with your friends. But I feel uncomfortable when I see you dancing too closely with them. I feel totally ignored and alone in such situations.”

Other common boundaries that you need to keep in mind for a healthy marriage are:

10. Social media boundaries in a marriage

People often say that social media is an extension of who they are. However, many psychologists believe that social media is actually the extension of the parts we either aren’t or can’t be. This is why the quietest person in the party can surprise you with the loudest insta posts while the one burning the dance floor at the same party shares the deepest and darkest quotes.

Social media and relationships have seen a sea of change too. How much a partner wants to share their social media world with their partner is only their call to make. Some partners say that they are ready to divulge their credit card pins but will never share their social media passwords. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, one-third of divorce filings have ‘Facebook’ as a factor in them. While one can’t blame social media directly for such actions, there is surely a connect between social media and divorce now.

It is important to set boundaries about:

• Time spent on social media
• Respecting each other’s privacy on social media
• Sharing passwords or accounts
• Sharing info on social media and tagging partners

Example: “We will be friends on Facebook but I don’t want you to tag me on our pictures. I don’t like to share my personal life on social media.”

Related Reading: Is It Okay To Be Friends With Your Ex On Social Media?

11. Sexual boundaries in a marriage

Imagine a situation where your partner and you know each other’s desires and kinks and you both do exactly what makes the other sexually satisfied. Sounds like a dream situation? Well, if couples can shed their initial inhibitions and talk about sex and sexual boundaries, sex wouldn’t be a one-person show that it often is.

Talking about sexual wishes, dislikes, and fantasies is an important part of setting boundaries. To feel safe and comfortable in this extremely vulnerable aspect of marriage, sexual boundaries are important. Things like “No, I am not comfortable with this,” “I’m not sure,” “Can we try something else,” “Can we try this some other time’”— all these statements need to be talked about, understood, and respected as a clear ‘no’.

Example: “I am all for kinky games and you can call me [X] but I don’t want you to call me [Y].”

12. Family boundaries in a marriage

Now this one is a slippery ground because while everyone likes to talk about parents, in-laws are mostly a no-no topic. But remember, the more difficult it is to discuss something, the more you need to discuss it. A lot of couples set healthy boundaries in this aspect very early on and save a lot of bickering and future fights.

Discuss issues like these in detail:

• How often would you want to meet your extended families?
• What kind of relationship are you both comfortable with?
• What are your expectations and limitations, and what kind of relationship with in-laws do you expect?

Example: “My mother is alone and I will want to meet her at least twice every month. I don’t expect you to always accompany me but I don’t want to miss my trips either.”

13. Emotional boundaries in a marriage

We are individuals with our own emotional baggage and limitations. While having partners in your life may ease and even heal many of these emotional pains, expecting romantic partners to heal each other is neither just nor possible.

Henry Cloud, the psychologist with a number of books on boundaries in marriage, aptly says that our feelings are our property. If one partner is feeling sad, the other partner cannot feel responsible for their sadness. Partners can definitely empathize with each other’s emotions but they have to set boundaries and remind themselves that the person who is feeling sad is responsible for their feelings.

“Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings is actually the most insensitive thing we can do because we are crossing into another’s territory.  Other people need to take responsibility for their own feelings,” shares Henry Cloud.

Example: “When you shut me out and are emotionally unavailable for days, I feel lonely. I understand if you don’t want to talk about your problem, but you cannot shut me out of your life either. You need to tell me when you need space.”

14. Financial boundaries in a marriage

Money is another ‘dirty’ word a couple doesn’t want to talk about. What they don’t realize is that this elephant in the room is huge and needs to be discussed before it crushes their love for each other. Whether it is families where one partner earns or both of them do, a clear communication about money relationship goals as a couple should be done as soon as things start getting serious between them.

In a study on 100 married couples who made diary entries about their arguments, it was found that money can be one of the most difficult and damaging areas of conflict. Part of the problem is that it’s very difficult for them to talk about money problems and partners often walk away from these issues

Example: “It is my dream to buy a car and I want to save for that every month. I will keep a part of my salary aside for it.”

Related Reading: Money Issues In Dating Relationships – Here’s What You Can Do

15. Physical boundaries in a marriage

Nobody enters a relationship with the acceptance of physical abuse and yet many married couples, behind closed doors, are marred by physical torture. So, even if this sounds like an obvious personal boundary, it is important to voice it, articulate it, and follow it.

According to a recent study, family and domestic violence affects 10 million people in the United States alone. In the U.S., as many as one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence which often goes under-reported. Remember that no amount of physical violence should be allowed at any stage of the relationship. Right from twisting a finger to pushing to hitting are all examples of physical violence.

Physical boundaries, however, also go beyond violence. If you are not someone who enjoys public display of affection but your partner can’t resist kissing you in public, let them know how you feel.

Example: “I am not comfortable when you kiss me in front of our parents. I feel very awkward. Please don’t do that.”

Common Misconceptions About Setting Boundaries In A Marriage

With so much social and familial conditioning, couples often feel that setting boundaries for your partner and for yourself in a marriage spells doom for their relationship. That letting the person know too often and too soon about such boundaries is a recipe for disaster. Three common misconceptions that often stop people from doing so are:

1. Setting boundaries in a marriage is selfish

Marriage should be selfless – or should it be? A partner who is constantly trying to mold their needs and curb their wishes for the other is often the one with bottled-up grudges and unhappiness. By setting and understanding boundaries, two people take care of their personal space which leads to a stable married life.

2. Setting boundaries is telling someone what to do

In reality, healthy relationship boundaries do exactly the opposite of telling someone else what to do. Boundaries are about taking care of our needs and respecting our individuality. They are about how you respond to a situation rather than how others do the same. For example, instead of “Don’t talk down to me,” boundaries help us say, “When you talk in a raised voice, I feel disrespected and scared.”

3. Boundaries hurt relationships

People are sometimes apprehensive about setting boundaries in a relationship. They feel that by doing so, they are pushing partners away from them with a list of dos and don’ts, but in reality, you are helping your partner know how to love you better and come closer to you.

When done right, boundaries in marriage enhance and strengthen the bond. It empowers two people to love and be loved, to respect and be respected. So, if you feel stifled or disrespected or unheard in your marriage, it is important to sit down and talk these issues out. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner and go about setting boundaries and making clear choices of words and actions.

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In this blog, I explore how the physics of dating can improve your sex life.

Get ready to dive into the world of Newton’s Laws, energy, attraction, and more, all in the name of self-development.

🔑 Read on to unlock the secrets of genuine connections and make sure to subscribe to my newsletter for my latest content.

First Law: Inertia and Your Dating Life

Newton’s First Law states that an object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion, unless acted upon by an external force.

Your dating life can feel like it’s at a standstill, weighed down by inertia.

To overcome this, you need to apply an external force.

Action step

Second Law: Accelerate Your Love Life

Newton’s Second Law describes how force is related to an object’s mass and acceleration.

In dating terms, your “mass” is your emotional baggage, while the “force” is your effort to change.

To achieve a desirable acceleration, you must apply a greater force.

Action step

• Assess your emotional baggage, and make a conscious effort to let go. Focus on self-improvement and building healthy connections.

Third Law: Equal and Opposite Reactions

Newton’s Third Law states that for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

In the dating world, this means that the energy you put out will come back to you.

Positive vibes attract positive connections, and vice versa.

Action step

Potential and Kinetic Energy: Unleash Your Dating Power

In physics, potential energy is stored energy, while kinetic energy is the energy of motion.

In dating, your potential energy is your untapped charisma, confidence, and charm.

Converting it to kinetic energy means putting yourself out there and taking risks.

Action step

• Push your comfort zone by trying new dating activities, like speed dating or themed events. Be confident and show off your unique qualities.

The Law of Attraction: Magnetize Your Love Life

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like.

In your dating life, this means that being authentic and true to yourself will attract those who share your values and interests.

Action step

• Embrace your genuine self and communicate your passions. You’ll draw in people who appreciate and resonate with you.

The Principle of Resonance: Align Your Dating Frequencies

Resonance occurs when an object vibrates at the same natural frequency as another, amplifying the vibrations.

In dating, resonance is the feeling of “clicking” with someone, creating a deeper connection.

Action step

• Seek out people with shared interests and values. When you find someone who resonates with you, foster that connection through open communication and shared experiences.

Entropy and Order: Balancing Your Dating Life

In thermodynamics, entropy represents the degree of disorder in a system.

While some chaos in your dating life can be exciting, too much disorder can lead to confusion and disappointment.

Action step

• Establish boundaries and maintain a balance between your personal life, work, and dating. Strive for a healthy mix of spontaneity and stability.

Conclusion

• By integrating these physics-inspired principles, you’ll expand your dating horizons and increase your self-confidence.
• Harness the power of Newton’s Laws, energy, attraction, resonance, and balance to experience a better love life.
• Embrace the physics of love and let science guide your journey to the perfect connection.

Experience Proven Success with Women Today!

I can coach you to become more successful in your dating life.

This means working together together to increase your self-confidence.

⚡ Discover My Evidence-Based Dating Success Courses Now! ⚡

Resources

1. Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2008). Speed-dating: A powerful and flexible paradigm for studying romantic relationship initiation. In S. Sprecher, A. Wenzel, & J. Harvey (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 217-234). Psychology Press. This study highlights the benefits of speed dating as a method for studying the process of romantic relationship initiation. It supports the idea of trying new dating activities, such as speed dating, to push your comfort zone and increase the chances of meeting compatible partners.

2. Gueguen, N. (2008). The effect of a woman’s smile on men’s courtship behavior. Social Influence, 3(4), 248-258. This research demonstrates the positive impact of smiling on courtship behavior. The study found that a woman’s smile significantly increased men’s likelihood of approaching her. This supports the idea of being mindful of the energy you bring to your dates, as positive vibes can attract positive connections.

3. Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363-377. This study explores how asking and answering personal questions can foster a deep connection between two individuals. The research suggests that engaging in meaningful conversations can help build resonance and create feelings of “clicking” with someone.

Are you wondering about the best Tinder starting lines to boost your chances of getting a response?

In this guide, I’ll share with you six powerful approaches, all grounded in female psychology.

Continue reading to improve your dating app success and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for my latest articles.

Address her by name

One of the simplest yet most effective ways to start a conversation is by using the woman’s name followed by an exclamation mark.

• This shows that you’ve taken the time to notice her name and are genuinely interested in engaging with her on a personal level.

It’s a small yet impactful gesture that can help set the stage for a more meaningful conversation.

Connect with her emotions

Women often appreciate when someone can tap into their emotions.

• By using emotionally charged words from her bio, you can create a connection that resonates with her on a deeper level.

For example, if her bio reads, “I’m passionate about traveling and trying new foods,” your opening message could be, “Passionate, travel, new foods.”

This approach demonstrates that you’ve read her bio and are interested in what makes her unique.

Compliment – Common Interest – Question (CCQ)

The CCQ method combines three elements that appeal to female psychology: compliments, shared interests, and open-ended questions.

• Begin your message with a genuine compliment focused on a specific detail from her profile or photos.
• Then, identify a shared interest or hobby to create a sense of connection.
• Finally, pose an open-ended question that encourages her to share more about herself

Example: “Your sense of style in your profile pictures is truly eye-catching. I noticed that we both enjoy photography – I recently captured some amazing shots during my trip to Iceland. What’s your favorite place you’ve photographed?”

Engage with humor

A lighthearted and witty approach can be very effective in breaking the ice and capturing her attention.

• A funny or clever remark about something in her profile can show that you’re not only observant but also have a great sense of humor.

Example: “I couldn’t help but notice your impressive collection of hats in your photos. Are you secretly a hat model or just a passionate collector?”

The FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) approach

Creating a sense of curiosity and excitement can be a powerful tool when it comes to engaging with someone on Tinder.

• By sharing an interesting experience or unique activity that you’ve recently enjoyed, you can pique her interest and make her feel like she’s missing out if she doesn’t respond.

Example: “I just tried indoor skydiving for the first time last week, and it was an absolute blast! Have you ever experienced anything like that?”

Thought-provoking questions

Asking an open-ended, thought-provoking question can be a great way to engage with someone on a deeper level.

• By showing genuine curiosity and interest in her thoughts and opinions, you can create a strong connection right from the start.

Example: “If you could have dinner with any three people from history, who would you choose and why?”

Conclusion

• By employing these six strategies, you can craft engaging and effective opening messages
• These increase your chances of getting a response but also help build a connection based on genuine interest.
• Use active language and keep your messages easy to understand, so you can create a meaningful conversation.

Unlock the Secrets to Dating Psychology Today!

Learn how to use these lessons with women you find attractive in the real world.

I can coach you to have extreme self-confidence and get the success you desire in your dating life.

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Resources

1. Ellison, N., Heino, R., & Gibbs, J. (2006). Managing impressions online: Self-presentation processes in the online dating environment. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 11(2), 415-441.. A study conducted by Ellison, Heino, and Gibbs (2006) titled “Managing Impressions Online: Self-Presentation Processes in the Online Dating Environment” highlights the importance of personalization in online dating interactions. The study found that personalized messages, including addressing the recipient by their name, were more likely to receive responses than generic messages. This supports the idea that using a woman’s name in your opening message can increase the chances of a response.
2. Hall, J. A., Park, N., Song, H., & Cody, M. J. (2010). Strategic misrepresentation in online dating: The effects of gender, self-monitoring, and personality traits. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27(1), 117-135. A study by Hall, Park, Song, and Cody (2010) titled “Strategic Misrepresentation in Online Dating: The Effects of Gender, Self-Monitoring, and Personality Traits” found that humor is considered an attractive trait in online dating profiles. By incorporating humor in your opening messages, you can tap into this preference and increase your chances of receiving a response.
3. Whitty, M. T. (2008). Revealing the ‘real’ me, searching for the ‘actual’ you: Presentations of self on an internet dating site. Computers in Human Behavior, 24(4), 1707-1723. Research conducted by Whitty (2008) in her study “Revealing the ‘real’ me, searching for the ‘actual’ you: Presentations of self on an internet dating site” emphasizes the importance of asking open-ended questions in online dating interactions. Open-ended questions encourage conversation and allow individuals to share more about themselves, increasing the chances of forming a meaningful connection.

You can then directly edit your HTML in the HTML Editor on the right or use the Visual Editor on the left to make your changes. Our basic service is free to use but go PRO if you need more features like converting Word or PDF documents. To create an Excel comma-separated list, just follow these instructions. There are several ways to create comma-separated lists in Excel. In conclusion, CSV files are used to handle a large amount of data in grid format, without incurring any computational cost, and making it more accessible to everyone. If you want to find out how to turn an image into a text document, you came to the right place.

• You can create a break line by clicking at the desired position.
• It supports tabbed editing, which allows working with multiple open files in a single window.
• I have an issue with csv file opening in the Excel format.

Or rather, you didn’t lose control because of any software license. We lost control because of cryptography and enforced signature verification. Just because software is licensed as open source doesn’t mean it allows for third-party firmware modification.

How to Password Protect A Notepad Text File in Windows 11/10 with 3 Ways

We’re going to save this in a variety of file formats so you can see how they behave and respond. So, you’d need to open the .txt file in Excel, select the data and convert it into a Table. Then open a new Word document, copy the Table from Excel and Paste it into Word.

The type and scope of a project are significant factors in choosing Notepad++ vs. Sublime. While all desktop operating systems provide a basic text editor, they typically lack special features. Sublime is an advanced code editor for Mac, Windows, and Linux.

How to install the real Notepad++ on Linux

Click Close & Load from the Home tab and this will open up a brand new worksheet in your Excel workbook with the imported table. Select all the contents in .txt file and copy them. After successful run of above code, a file named “GeeksforGeeks.csv” will be created in the same directory. It is available in all current Windows versions and works fine to script Excel. It may require some programming skills to adjust for your particular needs and not every PLC programmer is comfortable with text programming like Powershell.

Step 2: Choose a Notepad++ Version

Wine refers to a compatibility layer with the ability to run Windows applications on several POSIX-compliant operating systems like BSD, macOS, and Linux. The software was first released to the public on the 24th of November 2003 by DevOp Dan Ho and is still in active development. To launch notepad++ on a RHEL/CentOS based systems, you need to run notepad-plus-plus command on the terminal as shown below.

As for the types of plugins available, they span from auto-publish functions, FTP support and color pickers to autosave, document comparison, spell check and much more. Once installed, each plugin is accessible from the Plugins menu. What’s remarkable about Notepad++ is that it includes a number of features that other code editors strongly advertise but completely fly under the radar in this one. This is something separate you have to download. If you want to work http://krishibank.ezassist.me/uncategorized/why-notepad-remains-a-top-choice-for-programmers in c++ you need to download a version of the c++ programming language compiler.

Another interesting change made to the Notepad app isWrap-around find/replace. There is a new option to do wrap-around find and replace using the find dialog. Notepad will remember your previously entered values and the state of check boxes and restore these values the next time you open the find or replace dialog. Another improvement is the ability to display line and column numbers when word-wrap is enabled. Sometimes due to corruption of files in the windows system can cause this error so a simple reinstallation can solve it all.

Anyone 21 or older would have the ability to possess small quantities of marijuana and be permitted to grow a few plants in their house. According to the most recent reports coming out of Colorado, marijuana is a main cause of homicides in the state, and the challenge is simply getting worse. Marijuana is a lesser evil in comparison to opiates, Bennion explained. Legalized marijuana doesn’t mean marijuana can be utilized in public. Legalization isn’t a panacea, but it’s far preferable to prohibition. He will not reduce the need to acquire resources often illegally to purchase a drug. Finally, he will grow the nation’s economy by creating new job and business opportunities and government revenue to cover the budget deficit.

What to Expect From Marijuana Legalization?

Your problem might be extremely tough that you deal with and you simply cannot imagine having it to start with, but your counselor has seen almost everything. Some simply don’t want to admit that there might be an issue. Furthermore, it would forbid taxing or regulating using marijuana.

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The initiative is called the Smart and Safe Arizona Act. It would allow the state to issue about 150 licenses for businesses to sell marijuana. Generally speaking, such initiatives have a tendency to follow along with the exact same pattern decriminalization of possession of small quantities, legalization of health usage, and, finally, legalization for recreation. There are three marijuana initiatives that may show up on the 2018 Arizona ballot should they collect the necessary variety of signatures. Any such outreach will probably drive away lots of the white-working class voters Trump energized. The anti-marijuana organizations stress there are different products in the health care market that possess the exact same positive effects of Marijuana with minimal or not one of the negative side results. Therefore, it’s understandable that individuals dealing with a cough or coughing are in need of home treatments for cough.

The state is one of the most conservative to legalize medical marijuana. On Nov. 8, 2016, residents of Arizona are going to have the chance to create their state one of the absolute most cannabis-friendly states in the nation. Some produce deep, unconscious states that may be regulated to last for hours, while some are intended to permit for fast recovery after surgery. In California, among the biggest states in the country, all the large state-versus-federal conflicts are likely to be dramatically increased by what goes on.

When you’re smart enough to find policy coverage by the minute you’re young, you can be certain about receiving the ideal premium rate according to your affordability. If you buy a medical insurance policy as you’re at the youthful age, you won’t require worrying about age limits and thus you can enjoy the advantages of health insurance for a longer period of time. The proposal would permit the personal possession and usage of cannabis for state residents who are 21 decades old or older. The legislation is going to be a lengthy shot under the conservative-led Legislature. Normally, the bill proposes allowing anyone over age 21 to possess as much as an ounce of pot, together with a few marijuana plants. Last but not least, if you don’t plan on using the money for purchasing a new modern vehicle, there are different forms of investments which you can make. The money produced from the sales tax would go toward funding medical care services for veterans.

Better half, significant other, love interest, partner, spouse – different words to describe that special person who means the world to you. You decide to spend the rest of your life with them. But one day, you realize something is missing from your relationship. Soon, you are surrounded by alarming signs your partner is not right for you. After all, it is not for nothing that love is called blind.

Lovestruck couples see the world through rose-tinted glasses. Besotted by their partner’s charms, they fail to notice the red flags that later stick out like a sore thumb. The bubble of love bursts rather abruptly when your partner makes you feel not good enough.

Or maybe you’re still in denial. You are trying to force a relationship to stay on track because you love your partner. But you’re forgetting that compatibility trumps love. To help you understand the signs you are not compatible with someone, we have roped in relationship and intimacy coach Shivanya Yogmayaa (internationally certified in the therapeutic modalities of EFT, NLP, CBT, and REBT), who specializes in different forms of couple’s counseling.

11 Signs Your Partner Is Not Right For You

Finding the right partner is never as easy as it is portrayed in movies or pop culture. Forget about love at first sight. Even after endless conversations and meet-cutes, you can be duped into falling for the wrong person. Well, not anymore, when you have this relationship guru here who has your back.

Breaking up a relationship is not always a bad option. Nor is it always fraught with pain and suffering. Of course, drifting away from a person you were attracted to is going to make you feel empty. But it can also be a positive step toward your happiness and mental peace. If your thoughts are always circling around “My partner means so much to me, but I’m unable to ignore our differences” or “I love my boyfriend, but I’m not happy anymore”, these could very well be signs your partner is not right for you. Look out for the following:

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1. Difference in opinion

No, we aren’t talking about the difference in what you want to order tonight. A prevailing sense of disagreement with regard to your life goals, identity, aspirations, and political and religious beliefs can be a serious roadblock. We all know the laws of attraction – opposites attract. But that doesn’t mean you should not see eye to eye with each other at all.

You need to agree on the fundamentals to be able to have a lasting relationship that bodes well for you both. Let’s say you are aspiring to make it big in your career even if it means relocating. Your partner, on the contrary, is not ready to shift their base which leaves you both in a quandary. Adjustment in marriages and relationships cannot be denied, lest they compromise your happiness.

Shivanya explains, “Harmonious and lasting relationships thrive on like-mindedness. Couples should understand each other’s values and beliefs in the early stages of their relationship to see if they are aligned well. Any discord and disagreement will require either partner or both of them to adjust. But don’t over-promise or submit yourself to the point that you lose yourself in the relationship.”

2. Your partner is narcissistic

I, me, myself – this is how most of your partner’s conversations begin and end. One of the early signs a relationship won’t last is your absence in the picture. While you are obviously a strong pillar of the relationship supporting it with your whole-hearted presence, it is never acknowledged. Your partner takes the center stage wherein only their ideas, beliefs, opinions, and life are worthy of consideration.

How do you know if your partner is wrong for you? One of our readers, Daniel, a 33-year-old librarian, shares with us, “When I experienced incompatibility in my last relationship, there were blame games every day. I was always the scapegoat. My opinions had no weight. When your partner makes you feel not good enough all the time, that’s when you know they’re not the one for you.”

Self-centered partners can never make themselves emotionally available to you. Emotionally detached relationships have an impact on the couple’s intimacy, which in the long run can leave you scarred with emotional trauma. As Shivanya observes, “One of the most crucial signs your partner is not right for you is the narcissistic streak. Relationships with narcissistic partners hover on the brink of being toxic. Such relationships can make for only fleeting romantic liaison and not a lasting one.”

Related Reading: 8 Common “Narcissistic Marriage” Problems And How To Handle Them

3. Codependent relationship

The pervasive feeling that something is missing from your relationship can be one of the early signs a relationship won’t last. Your partner is not the right choice for you if they are too dependent on you. Partners that are demanding – be it emotionally, financially, socially, or physically – make for a toxic relationship. Codependency in relationships can look like this.

If your bae is having you turn into a Mr./Miss Fix-It, then they are a misfit. The unbalanced scale of responsibilities needs to be evened out. Picking the kids up from school. Having the furniture repaired at home. Running errands. Frequent visits for grocery shopping. All these and more shouldn’t be your onus alone. If you are the one carrying the burden of everything, it is certainly one of the signs your partner is not right for you.

Shivanya explains, “Relationships are about equality. Shared responsibilities and mutual understanding lay the foundation of a harmonious relationship. Equal roles undertaken by two individuals – this is what you should aim at while looking for a partner.”

4. Addiction and substance abuse

How do you know if your partner is not the one? Addiction and substance abuse are one of the most obvious and glaring signs your partner is not right for you. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, and smoking can be a huge impediment in the relationship. Spending your entire life with an addicted partner can cripple both of you with challenges. Codependency in relationships is sometimes an outcome of addiction too.

A partner battling addiction needs expert help, and can’t prioritize you or the relationship. According to a study conducted by the National Library of Medicine, about 34.6% of people cited substance abuse as a leading factor for their divorce. Infidelity, communication gaps, and even physical abuse often go hand in hand with addiction and substance abuse.

There are instances where couples have surfaced above the struggles of drug addiction with the power of unconditional love and professional support. But, as Shivanya points out, “This can be a remedy only when both the partners are equally determined to fight through the hurdle and emerge victorious. Save your relationship if you find it worth fighting for. But if you are trying to force a relationship, your love boat is destined to sink.”

5. You are not happy with them

“I love my boyfriend but I’m not happy anymore!” – don’t take this to be the rambling of a bored person. This is one of the clear signs you are not compatible with someone. Boredom seeping in relationships, conversations seeing dead-ends, happiness fading away – all these are early signs a relationship won’t last.

Relationships are about being happy and content in love. Sure, no one can be too hyped about love and romance 24*7. But the spark should never fizzle out. If you can’t keep the love and the child in you alive, when in their company, then it is a red flag for your relationship. Communication issues cropping up all the time are again one of the serious signs your partner is not right for you. As per a survey conducted on 886 couples, dying communication was a contributing factor toward filing for divorce, accounting for 53% of votes.

Being together with your partner should be an exercise in fun and revelry. Be it going on dates, staying in and binge-watching shows, or just being silly with each other. If you don’t enjoy spending quality time together, then your partner is not the right person for you to spend your life with.

6. Lust takes over love

Couples who get together only for the sake of lust doom their relationship easily. As Shivanya points out, “People nowadays think mostly below the belt. Greed for power and money often form the crux of many relationships. Or your partner could be coming to you driven by their sexual interests. Either way, you need to be watchful of your relationship with them.”

You know your partner is not right for you if the relationship finds its base in their selfish interests. If physical intimacy is the whole and sole basis of your relationship, then it is undeniably one of the early signs a relationship won’t last.

The National Library of Medicine conducted a study on 189 female and 119 male university students to understand the nexus between friends-with-benefits relationship and social and psychological connectedness. It was found that 50% of the participants felt deceived by their partner and experienced loneliness and psychological distress due to a relationship guided by only sex, and no romance or attachment.

Related Reading: Does A Friends With Benefits Relationship Actually Work?

7. Trust issues

Trust, faith, honesty, and transparency are the wheels that drive every relationship. Maya, a 26-year-old software designer, shares with us, “I love my boyfriend but I’m not happy anymore. It is so difficult to open up to him about what I am going through. It really impacts our intimacy. I don’t feel completely comfortable around him because of this and have a hard time trusting him with my feelings.”

How do you know if your partner is wrong for you? That uncanny feeling that your partner is hiding something from you or lying to you is at the root of trust issues. Your partner is extremely secretive with their phone lest you chance upon something. They lie to you about their outings with friends. These could be some of the worrying signs your partner is not right for you.

Shivanya says, “Many modern relationships are being called off due to lack of honesty or transparency. You need to consider the level of trust and transparency in your relationship, and see if your partner is including you in their lifestyle.” Research conducted by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows how crucial trust is for every social relationship. The study shows a breach of trust is extremely difficult to restore. Moreover, relationships that have no faith and trust are bound to fail.

8. You two are not good friends

Detecting the early signs a relationship won’t last can leave you perplexed. How do you know if your partner is not the one? You can anticipate the failure of a relationship when there is no camaraderie between you two.

Shivanya points this out as the basic ingredient for a lasting relationship, “I have noticed that the lasting relationships have not survived because they had lesser conflicts. They lasted because the couples had a friendship in place, making them like a team against all odds. If you see a friend in each other, then your relationship might have better longevity.”

Relationships have more to them than just looking at each other with lovestruck eyes (think of heart-eyes emoji). If you don’t eventually find a friend in your partner with whom you can have fun like a madcap as well as a confidant to confide in, then this is one of the subtle signs your partner is not right for you.

As a research paper in the Journal of Happiness Studies points out, relationships are happier and more satisfactory when the partners are best friends. To quote from the study, “…well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend.”

9. Your partner is not respectful toward you

If your partner has no respect for you, then there can be no question of being in a relationship with them. Respect and appreciation are two pivots of a relationship. The lack of these becomes a breeding ground for problems. When your partner makes you feel not good enough or disrespects you, you know it is time to walk out on them.

When was the last time your partner asked you to weigh in on important decisions? Or valued your efforts and showed gratitude? Hardly ever? Then this is certainly one of the signs your partner is not right for you. Disregarding your efforts, not validating your opinions, and negative or derogatory remarks about you – are some of the red flags in a relationship.

Shivanya opines, “If your partner does not respect you and takes you for granted, these are the early signs a relationship won’t last. With respect thrown out of the window, there is no compatibility between the partners.”

10. Your partner is a control freak

If you notice any signs that your partner is a control freak, then it is a decision gone wrong. Controlling and restrictive ways are pitfalls in relationships. An overbearing partner is not only detrimental to your growth as an individual but is also conducive to a stagnant relationship.

Having their say in everything about you, controlling your decisions, and not giving you personal space to breathe in, are the few things to guard against. Do they enforce their opinion on your choice of clothes? Do you need to seek their permission before heading out with friends? Are they distancing your family from you? Personality traits as controlling as these signal toxic relationships that can stifle you and strip you of your freedom.

Shivanya marks out other similar personality traits as contributing factors toward an unstable relationship, “Jealousy, possessiveness, and an over-dominating and controlling behavior can smother your relationship.”

11. They don’t support you

An ideal partner would be someone who adds value to the relationship, bringing out the best in you. The last thing you would want your partner to do is to doubt you and bring your morale down. Discouraging words can do more harm than one can ever imagine. If your partner does not believe in you and your dreams, then they are not worth keeping.

Encouraging each other to be the best version of themselves is what a supportive relationship is about. Support in a relationship is a basic fundamental, be it emotional, social, financial, or spiritual. It is synonymous with growth.

Shivanya adds, “Relationships should not be dutiful. If your partner is only concerned with fulfilling their responsibilities and duties, it will make your relationship boring and routined. They will behave in a certain way because they are obliged to do so.” When your partner makes you feel not good enough and constantly pulls you down, they are not for keeps.

With this, we come to the end of our discussion on signs your partner is not right for you. We are sure this information doled out by our expert will have your back when you set out on your journey in search of a partner. Keep your eyes open to pick up these signs, listen to your heart (and that gut feeling), and take the plunge. There is love and abundance for you in store!

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