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Category: Dating & Love

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  • Lenny Kravitz: A History of Love and Romance

    Lenny Kravitz: A History of Love and Romance

    Lenny Kravitz is a renowned musician, singer, and songwriter who has been in the public eye for several decades. Over the years, he has been linked to several high-profile women, and his relationship history has been the subject of much speculation and media attention.

    Lenny Kravitz’s relationship history.

    Early Relationships

    Lenny Kravitz was born in New York City on May 26, 1964. He grew up in a family of musicians, and his mother was an actress. Lenny Kravitz started his music career in the late 1980s and quickly rose to fame with hits like “It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over” and “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” In the early years of his career, Lenny Kravitz was linked to several women, including actress Lisa Bonet.

    Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet began dating in 1987 and married in 1988. The couple had a daughter, Zoe Kravitz, in 1988. However, their marriage did not last, and they divorced in 1993. Despite their divorce, Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet remained friends, and Lenny Kravitz has said he has much respect and admiration for his ex-wife.

    Relationship with Adriana Lima

    In 2001, Lenny Kravitz started dating Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima. The couple met at a party, and they quickly hit it off. Lenny Kravitz and Adriana Lima’s relationship was highly publicized, and the couple was often spotted together at events and on red carpets.

    However, Lenny Kravitz and Adriana Lima’s relationship did not last, and they broke up after a few months. The reason for their breakup was not made public, but Lenny Kravitz has said that they remained friends.

    Relationship with Nicole Kidman

    In 2003, Lenny Kravitz was linked to Australian actress Nicole Kidman. The couple met through mutual friends and quickly started dating. Lenny Kravitz and Nicole Kidman’s relationship was highly publicized, and they were often seen together at events and on red carpets.

    However, Lenny Kravitz and Nicole Kidman’s relationship did not last, and they broke up after a few months. The reason for their breakup was not made public, but Lenny Kravitz has said that they remained friends.

    Relationship with Vanessa Paradis

    Lenny Kravitz and French actress and singer Vanessa Paradis were romantically linked in the early 1990s. The two met through their mutual friend, actor Johnny Depp, and quickly hit it off. They dated for several years and were known for their affectionate public displays of affection.

    Lenny Kravitz and Vanessa Paradis were both rising stars during their relationship. Lenny Kravitz had already succeeded in his music career, while Vanessa Paradis was starting to make a name for herself as an actress and singer. Their high-profile romance generated a lot of media attention and was followed closely by their fans.

    Despite their busy schedules, Lenny Kravitz and Vanessa Paradis managed to maintain a close relationship for several years. They were often seen together at events and red carpets, and they even collaborated on a song called “Les Piles” in 1994.

    However, their relationship eventually ended in the mid-1990s, reportedly due to their busy schedules and the distance between them. They remained friends after their breakup, and Lenny Kravitz has spoken fondly of Vanessa Paradis in interviews.

    In a 2014 interview with The Guardian, Lenny Kravitz said, “I love Vanessa. She’s one of my favourite people in the world. We had a great relationship. We’re still very close.” Vanessa Paradis has also spoken positively about their relationship, saying in a 2018 interview with the French magazine Gala, “Lenny is a beautiful person. He’s incredibly talented and passionate about everything he does.”

    Overall, Lenny Kravitz’s relationship with Vanessa Paradis was significant in his dating history. Despite their breakup, they remained close friends and continued supporting each other’s careers.

    Relationship with Barbara Fialho

    Lenny Kravitz and Brazilian model Barbara Fialho were linked romantically in 2017. The two reportedly met at a party and hit it off, quickly starting a highly publicized relationship in the media.

    During their relationship, Lenny Kravitz and Barbara Fialho were often seen together at events and on red carpets, and they were not shy about showing affection for each other. They also shared pictures of each other on social media, further fueling rumours of their romance.

    However, their relationship did not last long, and they reportedly broke up after a few months of dating. The reason for their breakup was not made public, but sources close to the couple said that they remained friends after their split.

    Despite their brief relationship, Lenny Kravitz and Barbara Fialho have spoken positively about each other in interviews. Barbara Fialho has said that she is a big fan of Lenny Kravitz’s music and that they had a great time together, while Lenny Kravitz has praised Barbara Fialho’s beauty and talent as a model.

    Lenny Kravitz’s relationship with Barbara Fialho was another high-profile romance in the musician’s long history of dating beautiful women. While their relationship may not have lasted, it was still memorable for them and the public, who followed their every move.

    Relationship with Naomi Campbell

    In January 2021, Lenny Kravitz and Naomi Campbell were spotted together again, this time in New York City. They were seen walking arm in arm and laughing, sparking even more rumours that they were dating.
    Neither Lenny Kravitz nor Naomi Campbell has confirmed their relationship publicly, so it is unclear if they are dating or just good friends.

    However, the rumours have generated much interest among their fans and the media, and many are curious to see if they will make their relationship official.

    Lenny Kravitz’s relationship history is very interesting to his fans and the media. While he has been linked to several high-profile women, he has remained relatively private about his personal life. Whether or not he is dating Naomi Campbell, it is clear that Lenny Kravitz is still a heartthrob and a sought-after bachelor in the entertainment industry.

    Reference: Mexican model Lenny Kravitz is rumoured to be dating

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  • 11 Different Types Of Hugs And What They Mean

    11 Different Types Of Hugs And What They Mean

    As a child, I was never a touchy-feely person. The ease with which people reach out, touch, and hold each other has always been a source of curiosity to me, so I decided to investigate further. Why do people hug? What are the types of hugs guys like? What kind do girls like? How to tell if a hug is romantic? Are there different types of hugs? Imagine my surprise when I found out that there are 11 different types of hugs and each one of them has different connotations and health benefits.

    If, like me, you too have been confused about why hugging is such a prominent expression of intimacy and affection, you’re in the right place. I’m going to share all that I’ve learned about the different ways of hugging and what they convey. Let’s get right into it.  

    11 Different Types Of Hugs

    According to studies (and there has been a lot of intense research on the topic), the receptors in our skin are so sensitive that any touch can spark off a reaction in our brains. Skin-to-skin contact is a potent instigator of the release of oxytocin. Now oxytocin – also known as the love hormone – is the thing responsible for making you feel mushy and loved up. This positive response can carry you through a large part of the day. 

    Upon further investigation, I discovered the types of hugs and what they mean depends both on the amount of physical contact involved and the response elicited in the body. Body language i.e “the conscious and unconscious movements by which attitudes and feelings are communicated,” can indicate a lot more than we realize. Psychologists and experts have studied body language with reference to different hugs and categorized 11 types. These include: 

    Related Reading: 13 Non-Sexual Touches To Feel Intimate And Close

    1. The bear hug

    The bear hug

    I soon realize that the Bear Hug is considered one of the best types of hugs. Why you may ask? Well, when a person comes to you and enfolds you in his or her arms, holds you tight, and squeezes you for a while, the feeling can be indescribable. Bear Hugs are types of intimate hugs that suggest a healthy relationship. One which is full of strong positive and reciprocal feelings. While this is not always a type of romantic hug, bear hugs remind you that you are loved and appreciated. That someone out there has your back and can offer the emotional support you require. 

    2. The full body hug

    The Full Body Hug
    The full-body hug

    Much like the bear hug, a full-body hug is a strong and tight hug with full-body contact. Couples or close friends hugging like this may have intense eye contact and hold this tight embrace for a long time. Full-body hugs may or may not be one of the types of romantic hugs but they are not normally exchanged between colleagues or acquaintances.

    Children love giving and getting full-body tight hugs and I suspect this arises from the need for skin-to-skin contact. Giving a child a full-body hug can calm him or her down and placate their feelings in no time. Try it out the next time your child is having a meltdown or getting agitated. It can work wonders toward making the child feel comfortable. 

    Related Reading: Casual Dating — 13 Rules To Swear By

    3. The long hug

    The Long Hug
    The long hug

    According to doctors, a long hug is a hug that lasts longer than ten seconds. The longer the hug, the greater the impact on the nervous system. When you think of types of intimate hugs, long hugs definitely come to mind. If your romantic partner loves long hugs, odds are that he or she is developing feelings for you.

    Best friends give each other long hugs when they need each other to lean on. Family members or those in a long-term relationship indulge in this type of hug when comfort and reassurance are required. If someone approaches you and embraces you like this, it may mean a silent cry for help. Take the time out to reciprocate and get to the bottom of the problem.

    4. The London Bridge hug 

    The London Bridge Hug
    The London Bridge hug

    The London Bridge Hug is a short, quick hug where two people’s upper bodies lean toward each other and touch. However, their lower bodies remain firmly apart indicating a formality in the relationship. It may look a bit awkward. This is the type of hug that is exchanged in a professional setting and could indicate some level of discomfort in either one party or both.

    Body language experts reiterate that a London Bridge hug is a polite hug and mean that neither party really wants to get too close to the other. A word of warning – there is no possibility of a romantic relationship if someone hugs you like this.  

    Related Reading: 8 Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship

    5. The pickpocket hug

    The Pickpocket Hug
    The pickpocket hug

    You’ve seen this type of couple around. And they either infuriate or enchant you with their public displays of affection. A Pickpocket Hug is the type of intimate hug when partners walk around with their hands tucked into each other’s back pockets. This type of cuddle hug occurs when a couple is very comfortable with each other. They may walk silently but are still in touch with each other without talking. The signs are clear here that the physical relationship between the two is strong and mutual. This also rates high on the types of hugs guys like. 

    6. The straddle hug 

    The Straddle Hug 
    The straddle hug

    Every Hollywood romantic movie has at least one scene with a straddle hug. In this type of hug, usually, the feminine partner wraps her legs around the other. A straddle hug can be done either in bed or while standing up. It can even be a hug from behind or a back hug. 

    It’s the epitome of intimacy in a relationship and passion. This is considered a type of romantic hug that is a prelude to something sexual for sure. Straddle hugs indicate trust and comfort and a wonderful physical connection. No surprise, men rate this type of hug from a woman as the best type of hugs. 

    stories on couple dynamics and more

    7. The quick hug

    The Quick Hug
    The Quick Hug

    A quick hug is just what it says it is. A quick lean-in with body contact that ends almost as quickly as it begins. It could even be a perfunctory hug from behind. It can be exchanged between colleagues, friends, relatives, and even couples. Though, if you are a couple and only exchanging quick hugs, there may be problems afoot in your relationship. I would check up on that.

    A quick hug (also known as a polite hug) is also indicative that the people involved are not really comfortable or invested in each other. You could call this type of interaction a more socially expected one rather than one with any real impact or meaning. 

    Related Reading: 9 Tips To Build Harmonious Relationships

    8. The slow dance hug

    The Slow Dance Hug
    The slow dance hug

    If you indulge in a Slow Dance Hug also known as the Waist Hug or Sexual Hug, there is enough romantic tension between you and your partner to light up a room. In this style of hugging, the guy wraps his arms around his loved one’s waist. The other partner holds him around his neck and draws him close. This hug exudes joy and love and can be considered a stepping stone to a more intimate relationship. Men rate this type of tight hug from women as the most pleasurable. 

    9. The side hug

    The Side Hug
    The side hug

    Also referred to as the Buddy Hug, the Side Hug is a relaxed expression of comfort. Generally, a short, sweet, fun hug, it happens when a person next to you leans in and wraps an arm around your shoulder or waist. People also hug this way when posing for photos. How do you tell if this hug is romantic?

    I hate to disappoint you here but this is no frisson of flirtation but rather an expression of a good mood. If a girl or boy hugs you this way, take it from me, it is one of the signs they are not into you and they see you just as a friend with no romantic feelings involved. 

    10. The flirty hug

    The Flirty Hug
    The flirty hug

    According to the experts, this is how you give a flirty hug – “Wrap your arms around your partner’s neck, lean your head on his chest, or hug her with one arm and draw her close.” A flirty hug may also entail stroking a person’s arms, a tight back hug, or nuzzling their neck when leaning in. This is one of the body language signs they are in love with you and won’t mind being intimate with you.

    All these modalities indicate the need to get closer and show your interest in the other person. You don’t need to be an expert to know that such types of hugs from a woman or a man are confirmation that the person is very into you and wants to take these intimate hugs to the next level. 

    Related Reading: Physical Touch Love Language: What It Means With Examples

    11. The heart-to-heart hug

    The Heart-to-Herat Hug
    The heart-to-heart hug

    When you see a person you love and care about, you may raise your arms wide open, maintain eye contact, draw the person in close, and hold the hug for a while. This full-contact hugging can end with a short pat on the back or a shoulder rub. The intense eye contact attraction continues even post the hug. Supposedly highly restorative, this alignment of the heart can calm a person’s energy and increase serotonin levels making both parties happier. Win-win!

    Key Pointers

    • Hugs can be categorized according to their length and the amount of body contact between two people 
    • Not all types of hugs are romantic or intimate, some can be friendly or simply reassuring and supportive 
    • Hugs are good for mental, physical, and emotional health 
    • It has been scientifically proven that hugging and being hugged can reduce stress and improve sleep 

    It seems an inevitable conclusion then that hugs are good for you (and me). The flooding of the body with love hormones improves overall health and longevity. This simple act of touching can improve and initiate conversations and communication leading to lower stress and more happiness. After reading all about how even normal hugs can lower your blood sugar and moderate your heart rate, I realize the importance of touch to all human relationships (and not just romantic ones). Let the hugs commence! 

    FAQs

    1. What are the different types of hugs?

    As seen, there are many varieties of hugs. A lot depends on the duration of the hug, how much of the body is in contact with the other, and the body language of the person receiving the hug. Not all hugs are enjoyable. For example, certain hugs like the London Bridge Hug may be an awkward hug or a polite half hug one done out of duress or social mores. The Bear Hug or the Flirty Hug has the same meaning – that of a deeper relationship between the two people. A Heart-to-heart Hug can be just the empathetic response one needs when distraught or emotional. 

    2. What do different types of hugs mean?

    According to psychologists and intimacy experts, the types of hugs and what they mean no matter whether you are the giver or receiver can tell a lot about your relationship with the other person. Research shows that Side Hugs or Quick Hugs are signs of a formal connection or could just be friendly hugs with newly met acquaintances. On the other hand, Full Body Hugs, Sexual Hugs, or Straddle Hugs are definite signs of sexual attraction and are not exchanged between friends, no matter how close. Hugs can tell you a lot about the trust and comfort levels in a partnership or the support and sympathy amongst close friends. 

    3. How long should a hug last?

    A recent study by Science magazine showed us the optimal hugging mode. According to the website, several volunteers (including close friends, strangers, romantic partners, and families) hugged and were hugged in a variety of permutations and combinations. The overwhelmingly positive response was to hugs that lasted between 5 to 10 seconds long. There was also a preference for arms being crisscrossed around each other. This position provided both partners with the maximum gratification and scored high on the feel-good factor scale.

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  • Fume Extra Vape Review: An In-Depth Look at This Innovative Vaporizer – Morning Lazziness

    Fume Extra Vape Review: An In-Depth Look at This Innovative Vaporizer – Morning Lazziness

    Vaping has become a popular pastime for many individuals around the world. Not only is it a great way to enjoy your favorite flavors, but it also offers a more discreet and convenient option compared to traditional smoking. With the growing demand for vaporizers, manufacturers have introduced new and innovative devices to meet the market’s needs. Fume Extra Vape is one such device garnering attention in the vaping community.

    You’re in the right place if you’re searching for a high-quality vaporizer with an exceptional vaping experience. 

    This blog post will examine the Fume Extra Vape, a device making waves in the vaping community. We’ll dive deep into its design, features, performance, and vapor quality, as well as its ease of use and maintenance. So, sit back, relax, and join us on this journey to discover all the ins and outs of the Fume Extra Vape!

    What Are Fuma Extra Vapes?

    Vaping has become a popular pastime for many individuals around the world. Not only is it a great way to enjoy your favorite flavors, but it also offers a more discreet and convenient option compared to traditional smoking. With the growing demand for vaporizers, manufacturers have introduced new and innovative devices to meet the market’s needs. Fume Extra Vape is one such device garnering attention in the vaping community.

    You’re in the right place if you’re searching for a high-quality vaporizer with an exceptional vaping experience. 

    – Advertisement –

    This blog post will examine the Fume Extra Vape, a device making waves in the vaping community. We’ll dive deep into its design, features, performance, and vapor quality, as well as its ease of use and maintenance. So, sit back, relax, and join us on this journey to discover all the ins and outs of the Fume Extra Vape!

    What Are Fuma Extra Vapes?

    Fume vapes, produced by Florida-based business QR Joy, are well-liked disposable nicotine vapes with pre-filled cartridges. Fume disposable vapes are renowned for their high build quality and usability and feature a sleek, minimalist style. These come fully assembled and ready to use.

    Fume vapes come pre-filled with 5% (50 mg/mL) nicotine salt e-liquid. They are all disposable vapes and cannot be filled again. When the vape juice is finished, it’s time to recycle it and purchase a fresh one.

    Design and Features

    The first thing that caught our attention when we unboxed the Fume Extra Vape was its sleek and modern design. It has a minimalist look with a metallic finish, giving it a premium feel. The device is compact enough to fit comfortably in your hand and pocket. It’s also lightweight, which adds to its portability.

    The Fume Extra Vape is made of high-quality materials, so you get a long-lasting disposable vape pen. Its battery offers enough power to last an entire day of vaping. The tank is made of glass, so you can enjoy vaping for a long time before needing to refill. 1,500 puffs can be expected from the battery, sufficient to last well over a week. For those who place a high priority on battery life, this is among the best disposable vapes.

    Performance and Vapor Quality

    Regarding performance, the Fume Extra Vape delivers an exceptional vaping experience. It produces smooth and flavorful vapor that is both rich and satisfying. The device provides excellent flavor clarity and vapor production. The coil is also durable and can last for several weeks before needing to be replaced.

    – Advertisement –

    Fume vapes come in more than 20 flavors, albeit the flavors offered to vary between models. The brand’s fruit flavors are well-known. 

    (Note: If a cool vape isn’t your thing, carefully read the flavor descriptions. Some tastes have a hint of menthol without being classified as menthol or “ice.”)

    Ease of Use and Maintenance

    The Fume Extra Vape is very easy to use and maintain. These are the simplest e-cigarettes to use. Just taking it out of the packaging and inhaling it is all required. They are draw-activated; thus, inhaling activates them.

    Pros and Cons

    In this section, we will summarize the pros and cons of the Fume Extra Vape based on the previous sections. We will cover the device’s strengths, such as its performance, vapor quality, ease of use, and weaknesses, such as its price and availability.

    Pros

    • Sleek and modern design: The Fume Extra Vape has a modern and stylish design that appeals to many users.
    • Compact and lightweight: This device is small and lightweight, making it easy to carry around and use on the go.
    • Adjustable power settings and preheat function: The Fume Extra Vape has adjustable power settings and a preheat function that allows users to customize their vaping experience based on their preferences.
    • Excellent performance and vapor quality: The Fume Extra Vape provides excellent vapor quality and performance thanks to its mesh coil and adjustable settings.
    • Easy to use and maintain: The Fume Extra Vape is easy to use and maintain, making it a great option for beginners.
    • Durable and long-lasting: This device is built with high-quality materials that make it durable and long-lasting, ensuring users get their money’s worth.

    Cons

    • Price: The Fume Extra Vape is relatively expensive compared to other devices.
    • Availability: The Fume Extra Vape may not be readily available in some regions, making purchasing difficult.
    • Glass tank: The glass tank can be fragile and break easily if dropped or mishandled.

    Conclusion

    – Advertisement –

    The Fume Extra Vape is a well-designed, well-performing device offering a premium experience. Its adjustable power settings, preheat function, and mesh coil provide excellent flavor clarity and vapor production. The device is also easy to use and maintain, making it a great choice for both beginner and experienced vapers. 

    However, the Fume Extra Vape’s price and availability may be a drawback for some individuals. Despite these drawbacks, we highly recommend the Fume Extra Vape for anyone looking for a high-quality and reliable vaporizer.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Do fume extra vapes work well?

    If you need enough nicotine for a few days, Fume Extra is a fantastic choice. These particular vaporizers have the smallest available e-juice capacity of the three models. Although the battery is the weakest component, it still has some punch.

    How long can a fume extra vape last?

    A pre-filled disposable pod vape, Fume Extra, has a solid battery performance (850mah) and can produce more than 1500 puffs (about 3-4 days). Fume Extra Disposable is one of the greatest disposable pod vapes available, thanks to its rich flavors and exceptionally smooth hits.

    Fume vapes, produced by Florida-based business QR Joy, are well-liked disposable nicotine vapes with pre-filled cartridges. Fume disposable vapes are renowned for their high build quality and usability and feature a sleek, minimalist style. These come fully assembled and ready to use.

    Fume vapes come pre-filled with 5% (50 mg/mL) nicotine salt e-liquid. They are all disposable vapes and cannot be filled again. When the vape juice is finished, it’s time to recycle it and purchase a fresh one.

    Design and Features

    The first thing that caught our attention when we unboxed the Fume Extra Vape was its sleek and modern design. It has a minimalist look with a metallic finish, giving it a premium feel. The device is compact enough to fit comfortably in your hand and pocket. It’s also lightweight, which adds to its portability.

    The Fume Extra Vape is made of high-quality materials, so you get a long-lasting disposable vape pen. Its battery offers enough power to last an entire day of vaping. The tank is made of glass, so you can enjoy vaping for a long time before needing to refill. 1,500 puffs can be expected from the battery, sufficient to last well over a week. For those who place a high priority on battery life, this is among the best disposable vapes.

    Performance and Vapor Quality

    Regarding performance, the Fume Extra Vape delivers an exceptional vaping experience. It produces smooth and flavorful vapor that is both rich and satisfying. The device provides excellent flavor clarity and vapor production. The coil is also durable and can last for several weeks before needing to be replaced.

    Fume vapes come in more than 20 flavors, albeit the flavors offered to vary between models. The brand’s fruit flavors are well-known. 

    (Note: If a cool vape isn’t your thing, carefully read the flavor descriptions. Some tastes have a hint of menthol without being classified as menthol or “ice.”)

    Ease of Use and Maintenance

    The Fume Extra Vape is very easy to use and maintain. These are the simplest e-cigarettes to use. Just taking it out of the packaging and inhaling it is all required. They are draw-activated; thus, inhaling activates them.

    Pros and Cons

    In this section, we will summarize the pros and cons of the Fume Extra Vape based on the previous sections. We will cover the device’s strengths, such as its performance, vapor quality, ease of use, and weaknesses, such as its price and availability.

    Pros

    • Sleek and modern design: The Fume Extra Vape has a modern and stylish design that appeals to many users.
    • Compact and lightweight: This device is small and lightweight, making it easy to carry around and use on the go.
    • Adjustable power settings and preheat function: The Fume Extra Vape has adjustable power settings and a preheat function that allows users to customize their vaping experience based on their preferences.
    • Excellent performance and vapor quality: The Fume Extra Vape provides excellent vapor quality and performance thanks to its mesh coil and adjustable settings.
    • Easy to use and maintain: The Fume Extra Vape is easy to use and maintain, making it a great option for beginners.
    • Durable and long-lasting: This device is built with high-quality materials that make it durable and long-lasting, ensuring users get their money’s worth.

    Cons

    • Price: The Fume Extra Vape is relatively expensive compared to other devices.
    • Availability: The Fume Extra Vape may not be readily available in some regions, making purchasing difficult.
    • Glass tank: The glass tank can be fragile and break easily if dropped or mishandled.

    Conclusion

    The Fume Extra Vape is a well-designed, well-performing device offering a premium experience. Its adjustable power settings, preheat function, and mesh coil provide excellent flavor clarity and vapor production. The device is also easy to use and maintain, making it a great choice for both beginner and experienced vapers. 

    However, the Fume Extra Vape’s price and availability may be a drawback for some individuals. Despite these drawbacks, we highly recommend the Fume Extra Vape for anyone looking for a high-quality and reliable vaporizer.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Do fume extra vapes work well?

    If you need enough nicotine for a few days, Fume Extra is a fantastic choice. These particular vaporizers have the smallest available e-juice capacity of the three models. Although the battery is the weakest component, it still has some punch.

    How long can a fume extra vape last?

    A pre-filled disposable pod vape, Fume Extra, has a solid battery performance (850mah) and can produce more than 1500 puffs (about 3-4 days). Fume Extra Disposable is one of the greatest disposable pod vapes available, thanks to its rich flavors and exceptionally smooth hits.

    Shruti Sood

    Source link

  • How To Have More Confidence With Women

    How To Have More Confidence With Women

    Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn – Founder of Social Attraction

    In this blog, you will learn how to have more confidence with women by understanding the science behind your feelings.

    With my easy-to-understand strategies, you will know how to harness your body’s natural chemicals to boost your self-confidence around attractive women.

    🚀 Keep reading to skyrocket your self-confidence and don’t forget to subscribe to our updates for more empowering content and expert recommendations!

    Balance Your Hormones

    Understand the role of testosterone and cortisol when learning how to have more confidence with women.

    Higher testosterone levels are linked to increased self-esteem, while lower cortisol levels reduce stress.

    Manage their levels through lifestyle choices like exercise, proper sleep, and stress reduction techniques.

    • Action step: Incorporate regular physical activity and prioritize a consistent sleep schedule to balance your hormone levels.

    Unleash the Power of Oxytocin

    Tap into the “love hormone” to foster deeper connections and reduce social anxiety.

    Oxytocin is released during physical touch, shared experiences, and acts of kindness.

    • Action step: Show genuine care and empathy, engage in activities together, and offer a warm touch or hug when appropriate.

    Fuel Up with Dopamine

    Engage in activities that release this feel-good neurotransmitter, boosting your motivation and self-esteem.

    Dopamine is linked to reward, pleasure, and goal achievement.

    • Action step: Set and achieve small, personal goals to build a sense of accomplishment and boost dopamine levels.

    Harness Serotonin’s Calming Effects

    Promote inner calmness and contentment through healthy habits and mindset shifts.

    Serotonin is vital for regulating mood, and higher levels can increase feelings of happiness and confidence.

    • Action step: Practice gratitude, meditation, and spend time outdoors in natural sunlight to elevate serotonin levels.

    Practice Mind-Body Connection

    Use breathwork and mindfulness to stay present and in control of your emotions.

    Being present and aware of your body can help you feel more grounded, reducing anxiety and enhancing confidence.

    • Action step: Incorporate mindfulness meditation and deep breathing exercises into your daily routine.

    Nurture Your Gut-Brain Axis

    Maintain a healthy diet to support your gut health and promote mental well-being.

    Your gut produces neurotransmitters that affect mood and confidence, including serotonin.

    • Action step: Incorporate probiotics and fiber-rich foods into your diet to support a healthy gut microbiome and improve your overall mood.

    Master Your Inner Dialogue

    Negative self-talk can erode your confidence, while positive affirmations can build it up.

    Pay attention to your internal thoughts and replace self-critical statements with encouraging and empowering ones.

    • Action step: Keep a journal to track your thoughts and practice positive affirmations daily to rewire your brain for confidence.

    Develop Emotional Intelligence

    Understanding and managing your emotions is crucial for self-confidence.

    Emotional intelligence helps you recognize and regulate your feelings, allowing you to respond effectively to different social situations.

    • Action step: Practice active listening, self-reflection, and empathy to improve your emotional intelligence.

    Leverage the Power of Visualization

    Visualization is a powerful tool to help you create a mental image of your desired outcome, fostering self-confidence and motivation.

    By mentally rehearsing success, you’re training your brain to expect positive results.

    Build a Supportive Network

    Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people can have a significant impact on your confidence.

    Encouragement and constructive feedback from friends and family can help you grow and reinforce your self-belief.

    • Action step: Strengthen your relationships with supportive individuals and participate in social groups or activities that align with your values and interests.

    Conclusion

    • By understanding and harnessing your body’s natural chemicals, you can improve your self-assurance from within.
    • Implement these practical action steps and watch as your confidence with women flourishes.
    • Remember, the key to true confidence lies within you – it’s time to unleash it and let your inner power shine.

    Unlock the Secrets to Confidence with Women Today!

    Discover how our proven courses have transformed the dating success of thousands of men.

    Boost your confidence, master communication, and learn the art of attraction with our expert guidance.

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    Resources

    1. Hormones and Confidence: Dabbs, J. M., & Hargrove, M. F. (1997). Age, testosterone, and behavior among female prison inmates. Psychosomatic Medicine, 59(5), 477-480. This study explores the relationship between testosterone levels and behavior in female prison inmates. The results show a significant correlation between higher testosterone levels and increased self-esteem and assertiveness. This research supports the idea that balancing hormones, specifically testosterone, plays a crucial role in building inner confidence.
    2. Oxytocin and Social Bonds: Kosfeld, M., Heinrichs, M., Zak, P. J., Fischbacher, U., & Fehr, E. (2005). Oxytocin increases trust in humans. Nature, 435(7042), 673-676. This study investigates the effects of oxytocin on trust and social bonds in humans. The researchers found that oxytocin administration significantly increased trust among participants, leading to stronger social connections. This research highlights the importance of oxytocin in fostering deeper connections and reducing social anxiety, which can contribute to greater confidence with women.
    3. Gut-Brain Axis and Mental Health: Cryan, J. F., & Dinan, T. G. (2012). Mind-altering microorganisms: the impact of the gut microbiota on brain and behaviour. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(10), 701-712. This review article discusses the influence of the gut microbiota on brain function and behavior. The authors provide evidence that a healthy gut microbiome contributes to the production of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, which plays a vital role in regulating mood and promoting feelings of happiness and confidence. This research emphasizes the importance of maintaining a healthy gut-brain axis to improve mental well-being and inner confidence.

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    Gary Gunn

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  • Is He Flirting With Me? Here’s How To Figure It Out | Zoosk

    Is He Flirting With Me? Here’s How To Figure It Out | Zoosk

    Is he flirting with me or being nice? Was that a normal blink or an “I want you!” blink? If your inner monologue often sounds like this, don’t fret. Flirting comes naturally to some people, but it’s totally normal to feel you need to work on it. For most of us, this involves planning out our next move, wondering whether we’re laughing too much and too often, and constantly worrying about where we should put our hands! Yes, the struggles of knowing how to flirt are real!

    However, even if you’re a master at flirting, spotting those surefire signs a guy is flirting with you isn’t always easy. After all, it’s difficult to be fully aware of another person’s intentions. When it comes to dating, this often makes it tough to figure out if a man is being nice to you, or letting you know they’re interested.

    To help you on your way to answering the age-old question, “Is he flirting with me?”, we’ve put together an extensive guide to spotting those definite signs he’s flirting. Discover all you need to know below!  

    What is Flirting?

    Before trying to answer the question, “Is he flirting with me?” it’s worthwhile taking a step back a recapping what flirting actually is. As Merriam-Webster’s definition of flirting states, to flirt is “to behave amorously without serious intent.”

    Commonly, this behavior involves something spoken or written — or the use of body language — that suggests interest in a person beyond friendship. This can often be subtle and indirect, making it tricky to spot whether someone is showing interest.

    How to Tell if a Guy Is Flirting With You: 15 Surefire Signs 

    The best way to answer the question, “Is he flirting with me?” is to look out for the most common signs of flirting. These will give you an idea of what his thoughts and intentions are, helping you to figure out what steps to take next.

    Below, we’ve put together a list of 15 of the most definite signs a guy is flirting with you, so you’ll have the best chance of knowing how he’s feeling!

    Sign #1: A telling touch

    One of the most obvious signs a man is flirting is if they’re physically reaching out. The initial touch will probably be subtle and playful. When you’re walking next to each other, pay attention to how close he gets to you. Does he reach out and help guide you as you cross the street? Does his hand linger on your back for just a millisecond longer than a friend would keep it there?

    If it seems he’s consistently making physical contact in this way, it’s a good sign he’s flirting and that this is more than a nicety!

    Sign #2: Lots and lots of text messages

    A good way to tell if it’s flirtatious or friendly is by checking your messages. Does he text you throughout the day, either reaching out to you directly or speaking to you in a group thread? If so, you’re likely on his mind. 

    Flirting over text can be a fun and relaxed way to connect. Just make sure you’re confident he’s on the same page before you start crafting those spicy flirty texts.

    Sign #3: He follows you on social media

    Similarly, following and interacting with you on social media is another indication of flirtatious behavior. Is he sending you hilarious Instagram reels all the time? Does he like all your tweets and Facebook posts?

    Any kind of extra attention when it comes to smartphone use is usually a pretty good sign a guy is flirting with you. If you want to flirt back in the same way, send him in some of Zoosk’s TikTok videos so you can both laugh and share stories about your dating experiences!

    Sign #4: Teasing

    Just as it was in our high school days, one of the most common flirting techniques is the gentle tease. We’re not talking about him pulling your pigtails — we hope that was left behind in the schoolyard – rather, subtle teasing at your expense.

    Of course, this needs to be gentle and good-natured. Often, it involves inside jokes or gently poking fun at you for something. So, whether he’s given you a funny nickname, made jokes about your guilty pleasure music choices, or poked fun at you for your undevoted love of romance novels, gentle teasing is one of the easiest ways to tell if a guy is being flirtatious.

    Sign #5: Eye contact

    This is one of the surest signs he’s flirting. Do you notice him catching your eye a lot, whether he’s talking to you or not? We look at people we’re attracted to, we can’t really help it. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Is he being friendly or flirty?”, pay attention to whether your eyes lock every time you both laugh. It’s a strong sign he’s into you.

    Sign #6: He isn’t checking his phone

    If he’s into you, you’ll have his full attention. Whenever you’re together, if you notice that his phone stays in his pocket, it shows you’re holding his interest. If a guy likes you and is flirting, you’ll be the pinnacle of his focus and everything else will be background noise, including his phone.

    Conversely, if he’s taking it out every minute or two to read messages, he might not be as into you as you’re hoping and probably isn’t likely to be flirting.

    Sign #7: Body language

    You’ve probably heard it a thousand times, but it remains true. Body language is one of the best signs a guy is flirting with you. Is his body turned toward you when you sit next to one another? Are his feet pointed at you? Does he find a lot of excuses to be near you, physically touching you or just standing as close as possible?

    Flirting isn’t just about the thing he says. If he’s sending you visual hints through his body language, he’s probably interested. Body language cues are one of our best tools for flirting, so look out for them!

    Sign #8: He tries to impress you

    One of the signs that a man is flirting is when he goes out of his way to impress you. Do you find that he’s often telling you about himself and his achievements? This could be a sign that he’s hoping to capture your attention and win your affection.

    This might not be straight-out bragging though. Flirting in this way is often done by guys who’re genuinely interested and are doing their best to impress you. After all, it’s only natural that we want to present our best selves to someone we’re attracted to.

    Sign #9: He gives you a lot of compliments

    Compliments are a classic sign of flirtatious behavior. Whether it’s appreciating your cooking or commenting on your outfit, a guy who showers you with praise is a good sign he’s flirting. Just make sure that the compliments feel real. If they come across as over-the-top, it can be an indication that he’s not being genuine.

    Sign #10: He’s always trying to make you laugh             

    Have a sense of humor is one of the most important things to look for in a guy. And, knowing how to tell if he’s flirting often comes down to how the conversation between you plays out. If the guy is making a lot of effort to crack some jokes and make you laugh, it’s a good indication that he’s flirting.,

    Sign #11: He wants to spend one-on-one time together

    When it comes to signs he’s flirting, making excuses to spend one-on-one time with you is one of the most obvious picks. Does he invite you for a coffee date with friends but then pretends that the others canceled at the last minute so now it’s just you and him? Does he offer to stay late at work and help you out with a group project?

    Whatever form it takes, showing a desire to spend one-on-one time with you is one of the clearest signs a man is flirting and that he’s into you.

    Sign #12: He gets nervous around you

    When it comes to dating, we all get nervous. But did you know that nervousness is a potential indication of flirtatious behavior and a sign that he might like you?

    This can show in different ways, whether he stutters a bit when talking to you, fidgets a lot, or turns a bit red and sweaty. And, if he’s normally a confident guy, spotting this nervousness can be a surefire sign he’s trying to flirt with you.

    Sign #13: He’s always finding ways to start a conversation (and keep it going)

    When asking yourself the question, “Is he flirting with me?” think about how your conversations are. Does he make the effort to come up with new things to talk about or take the time to go deeper into topics and have meaningful discussions? Does he demonstrate that he’s listening intently to what you’re saying and is totally focused while you’re talking?

    If so, it shows he genuinely enjoys talking to you and that he’s interested in what you’re saying. These are strong signs he’s flirting and a good indication that he’s into you!

    Sign #14: He always seems happy when you’re around

    What’s his demeanor like when he’s around you? An easy way to tell if he’s flirting is by seeing how is when you’re with him. If his face lights up when you walk in the room and his mood heightens, there’s a good chance he’s into you and he’ll start flirting.

    Sign #15: He tells you directly!

    Finally, and this one might sound obvious, when a guy straight up says he’s into you, you can be sure he’s flirting. Being explicit and direct leaves no doubt in the mind. This is the best scenario from which to kickstart a new meaningful relationship!

    Is He Flirting With Me? Yes! Now It’s Time to Respond!

    So, is he flirting with me or just being nice? If you’ve recently spent time with a guy and spotted some of those surefire signs he’s flirting, it’s time to figure out your next move!

    Flirting can be a great way to build up a genuine connection with someone new. So, once you’re confident you’ve spotted his flirtatious behavior — and you feel physically and emotionally attracted to him too — join in the fun and get flirty yourself! Ask him some flirty questions, see where things go, and you’ll be on the path toward a meaningful, lasting relationship in no time!

    Dan Hackett

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  • What is A Light Therapy For Seasonal Affective Disorder – Morning Lazziness

    What is A Light Therapy For Seasonal Affective Disorder – Morning Lazziness

    What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

    Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression related to seasonal changes, typically occurring during the fall and winter when there is less natural light. People with SAD may experience the following symptoms:

    • feeling depressed or hopeless
    • weariness
    • propensity to sleep too much
    • alteration in appetite, causing weight gain
    • loss of energy
    • impatience
    • heightened sensitivity
    • difficulties concentrating
    • suicidal thoughts

    The exact cause of SAD still needs to be fully understood. Still, it is thought to be related to disrupting the circadian rhythm, our internal biological clock that helps regulate our sleep-wake cycle. In people with SAD, the reduced levels of natural light during the fall and winter months may disrupt the circadian rhythm, leading to an imbalance of certain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and melatonin, that regulate mood and sleep.

    Between 3 and 6 million Americans suffer from SAD. The frequency and severity rise the farther you are from the equator, which is four times more common in women than in males. 

    SAD is a treatable condition, and several effective treatments are available, including light therapy, medication, psychotherapy, and lifestyle changes. Light therapy involves exposing yourself to bright light, usually from a special light box, for a set amount of time each day. This can help reset the circadian rhythm and improve mood. Antidepressant medication can also be effective in treating SAD, as can psychotherapy, which can help people with SAD manage their symptoms and improve their overall well-being. 

    Lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise, stress management techniques, red light therapy sessions, and maintaining a healthy diet, can also help to improve symptoms of SAD.

    How Red Light Therapy Helps With Seasonal Affective Disorder

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    Red light therapy has been researched and evaluated across hundreds of peer-reviewed studies, with overwhelmingly positive results for reducing stress and a wide range of additional advantages, such as skin health, physical performance and muscle repair, sleep, pain alleviation, and inflammation. And this is without the use of toxic side-effects-producing substances like medications, chemicals, UV rays, or intrusive surgeries.

    Researchers have concluded that it has nearly no adverse effects and is non-invasive. Low-level laser treatment (LLLT) is used for skin repair, healing, and stimulation.

    After this revolutionary investigation into near-infrared light therapy for persons with signs of severe depression, infrared therapy also shows promise for alleviating depression, Seasonally Adjusted Depression (SAD), and mental health treatments.

    SAD is a type of depression related to seasonal changes, typically occurring during the fall and winter months when there is less natural light. Light therapy regulates the circadian rhythm, our internal biological clock that helps regulate our sleep-wake cycle.

    Red light therapy, also known as low-level light therapy or photobiomodulation, is a treatment that uses red and near-infrared light to improve skin health, increase energy and reduce inflammation. Some studies have suggested that red light therapy may also effectively treat symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

    The theory behind red light therapy is that red and near-infrared light can penetrate the skin and stimulate the production of ATP (adenosine triphosphate), the body’s primary energy source. This increase in energy production can help improve mood, increase energy levels, and reduce symptoms of depression, including SAD.

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    Red light therapy has been shown to increase the production of serotonin and melatonin, two neurotransmitters that regulate mood and sleep. Red light therapy can also increase the release of endorphins, natural mood boosters, which can help improve overall well-being.

    Red light therapy is delivered using specialized light panels or lamps. During treatment, the person sits or stands in front of the light panel for a set amount of time, usually between 10 and 20 minutes. The red and near-infrared light emitted by the panel penetrates the skin and improves energy production, which can help improve mood and reduce symptoms of SAD.

    It’s important to note that red light therapy is not a cure for SAD and may not be effective for everyone. However, for some people, red light therapy can be a safe and effective complement to other treatments, such as light therapy, medication, and psychotherapy. As with any treatment, it’s best to discuss red light therapy with a healthcare professional to determine if it’s right for you and to receive proper guidance and support.

    How Physical Exercise Helps With Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

    Exercise equipment for the elderly 

    Physical exercise is effective in treating symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Exercise has several benefits for mental health, including reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress and improving mood.

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    When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, natural mood boosters, which can help improve overall well-being. Exercise can also improve the production of neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, which are associated with positive mood. It can also help regulate the circadian rhythm, improving sleep and reducing fatigue.

    Physical exercise can also help distract from negative thoughts and feelings, which can be especially helpful for people with SAD. Engaging in physical activity can boost self-esteem and help people feel more in control of their lives, improving mood and reducing stress and anxiety.

    In addition, physical activity can help regulate sleep, which is often disrupted in people with SAD. By establishing a regular exercise routine, people with SAD can improve the quality of their sleep and help regulate the circadian rhythm.

    It’s important to note that exercise can be challenging for people with SAD, as the symptoms of fatigue, low energy, and loss of motivation can make it challenging to engage in physical activity. However, even a tiny amount of physical activity can help improve mood and reduce stress, so it’s essential to find an exercise routine that works for you and to start small, gradually increasing the intensity and duration of your exercise as you feel able.

    It’s always best to discuss any treatment options, including exercise, with a healthcare professional to determine the best course of treatment for you and to ensure that you receive proper guidance and support.

    Best Exercises For Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

    There is no one-size-fits-all answer to what types of exercise are best for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), as what works best for one person may not work for another. However, here are a few types of exercise that can be helpful for people with SAD:

    • Aerobic exercise: Aerobic exercises, such as running, cycling, and swimming, can help improve mood and reduce stress by increasing the release of endorphins, natural mood boosters. Aerobic exercise can also help regulate the circadian rhythm, improving sleep and reducing fatigue.
    • Outdoor exercise: Spending time outdoors, especially in natural light, can help reduce symptoms of SAD. Walking, walking, and gardening can help improve mood and increase exposure to natural light.
    • Yoga and mindfulness: Yoga and mindfulness practices can help reduce stress and improve mood by promoting relaxation, calming the mind, and reducing negative thoughts.
    • Group fitness classes: Joining a group fitness class can help increase social support, which can be especially important for people with SAD. Group fitness classes can also provide a sense of community and increase motivation to exercise.
    • Resistance training: Resistance training, such as weightlifting and strength training, can help improve mood and reduce stress by increasing the release of endorphins and improving self-esteem.

    It’s crucial to find an exercise routine that you enjoy and can stick to, as consistency is key to the effectiveness of exercise for treating SAD. It’s also important to talk to your healthcare provider before starting any new exercise program, especially if you have any pre-existing health conditions.

    FAQ

    What activities are beneficial for seasonal affective disorder?

    Outdoor light is beneficial, even on chilly or foggy days, especially if you spend some time outside within two hours of waking up. Regular exercise Stress and anxiety can worsen the symptoms of SAD; therefore, exercise and other physical activities can assist.

    What physical effects does seasonal affective disorder have on you?

    Winter’s shorter days cause your body to produce less serotonin, a neurotransmitter that plays a role in mood regulation. Sleep, appetite, memory, and sexual drive are all negatively impacted by a shortfall, which can also cause sadness.

    Bottom Line

    SAD is a condition that can be treated, and there are many efficient remedies available, including light therapy, medicine, psychotherapy, and lifestyle modifications. Speak with your healthcare practitioner if you notice that your SAD symptoms don’t go away or are interfering with your life, career, or relationships. Exercise and additional treatment alternatives are available and can assist you in overcoming the wintertime blues.

    Shruti Sood

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  • 11 Fun Ways to Stay Mentally Sharp in Your Later Years – Morning Lazziness

    11 Fun Ways to Stay Mentally Sharp in Your Later Years – Morning Lazziness

    As we grow older, our minds tend to slow down and become less sharp than they used to be. But this doesn’t have to be the case. With a few simple lifestyle changes, your mind can stay as sharp as ever throughout the later years of your life. Here are 11 fun ways to keep your mind sharp as you age.

    Take Time for Reflection

    Setting aside a few moments each day for silent reflection allows you to think deeply about topics that interest you and challenge yourself intellectually. This mental exercise is especially effective in the morning before beginning daily activities. Self-reflection also helps to foster self-awareness and personal growth.

    Keep in mind being reflective doesn’t mean mulling over negative thoughts or ruminating on the past – it should be a positive, uplifting experience.

    Make Connections

    Making connections between different concepts, ideas, and experiences can help stimulate your mind and increase cognitive function over time. This could include connecting current and historical events or connecting two pieces of knowledge that don’t seem related on the surface.

    Exercise regularly

    Exercise not only helps keep the body fit but also supports mental sharpness by increasing blood flow to the brain, reducing stress hormones in the body, improving alertness and energy levels, as well as boosting the production of endorphins which help boost mood levels naturally.

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    The good thing? Exercise doesn’t have to be a chore – it can be something enjoyable like walking, swimming, or even dancing.

    Play Games

    Playing games helps to sharpen the mind by providing stimulation and encouraging problem-solving. Doing puzzles such as Sudoku, crosswords, jigsaw puzzles, memory card games, or even clicking on the Grande Vegas casino login page to play casino games can all help keep your mind sharp. It can help improve short-term memory, concentration levels, and make your brain more alert. And that’s not all; it is also a great way to socialize with friends or family members of all ages.

    Get Enough Sleep

    It may seem obvious, but getting enough sleep is essential for keeping your mind sharp in old age. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation not only weakens memory formation but also affects our ability to think clearly and make decisions quickly during times of stress or emotional upheaval. So make sure you get 7-9 hours of sleep per night.

    Take Classes or Workshops

    Many classes or workshops are specifically designed for older adults, with topics that range from art classes to cooking classes to computer classes—all of which can help improve cognitive abilities and provide stimulating activities that don’t require physical effort.

    Challenging yourself by learning new skills and knowledge is a great way to keep the mind sharp and prevent boredom at the same time. You can learn online from the comfort of your home or find classes and workshops in your local community.

    Eat a Healthy Diet

    A healthy diet is key to keeping your body and mind functioning at their best. Eating food rich in antioxidants such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and seeds can help keep your brain healthy over time by reducing inflammation and supporting healthy blood flow to the brain.

    Stay Social

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    Staying socially connected is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to stay engaged with friends and family members – even if it’s virtually or over the phone.

    Make time for social activities such as chatting with friends over coffee or going for a walk. Research has shown that social interaction can help boost mood, reduce stress and anxiety levels, and even improve memory.

    Read News Articles

    Reading news articles from reputable sources is an excellent way to stay informed about current events while also exercising the brain muscles responsible for comprehension and critical thinking skills. Plus, it’s free!

    Practice Yoga

    Practicing yoga regularly has been found to reduce stress levels while increasing concentration and focus—both important factors in keeping the mind sharp in old age. Plenty of online classes are available, so you don’t need to leave the comfort of your own home to practice yoga.

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    Better yet, you can find classes specifically designed for seniors with gentle movements that can be done in a chair if needed.

    Listen To Music

    Music, the food of the soul, is an important factor in keeping your mind sharp. Listening to music has been found by numerous studies to increase cognitive performance due not only to its soothing effect on the brain but also its ability to create new neural connections within the brain itself—connections that can be strengthened over time with repeated exposure (and enjoyment) of music.

    Conclusion

    Keeping our minds sharp in old age doesn’t have to be difficult or boring; there are plenty of fun activities out there that will keep us mentally active without requiring too much effort.

    The activities mentioned above are just a few of the many methods you can use to stay mentally active, so why not give one (or more!) of these activities a try today? You might find that staying mentally active isn’t quite as hard as it seems.

    Shruti Sood

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  • How To Create an Herbal Garden Catering Company – Morning Lazziness

    How To Create an Herbal Garden Catering Company – Morning Lazziness

    Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme, and all other savory herbs from the garden come to life in your own herbal garden catering company. If you want to launch a uniquely delicious catering company with a naturally intriguing focus, this is your time. In order to start your company effectively and efficiently, the following key areas of development are offered here. Start planning, dreaming, and getting ready to launch your catering company. 

    Develop a Unique Concept

    Although the concept of your catering company implies everything herb-related, you’ll want to also consider those who will want sweet flavors along with the herbs. Try recipes that combine the two artfully and develop new flavor sensations that you can title and offer clients. Your catering company will have a considerable amount of competition, so position some elements of your catering company to be unique in composition, flavor and delivery. And, add in the typical favorites, as well, in order to suit all parties. 

    Create a Business Plan

    Business Owner And Boss

    Building a business plan is crucial for the long-term success of your company. If you do not already have a plan, use this catering business plan as a comprehensive guide. The sections within the plan will inform the reasons behind your launch of this business, work through the progression of financials, marketing, operations, and other actions, and will present the current status of your company, as well as map out the future of your growing business. 

    Research Your Target Audience

    business

    Because there is a considerable amount of competition among catering companies, focus on the specific market you’ll want to serve. Analyze which type of catering you find most appealing and which areas your skills are most suitable to meet. Consider the types of venues that attract the most customers, such as weddings, anniversary parties, corporate events, and government agencies. Any of these might become your target audience. 

    Research Your Competition 

    business

    As mentioned, your competitors are everywhere in the catering business; however, you’ve already aligned your catering services with an herbal garden theme, denoting “fresh produce” and “flavorful herbal foods.” Extend the unique offerings of your menu items and concentrate on the target audience you’ve selected. Now, look at the competitors within the same genre. Are there others who specify fresh herbal ingredients or flavors? Examine your competitors as closely as possible to obtain pricing, menu information and other essential information. The more you know about your closest competitors, the better you’ll be positioned to overcome their offerings with better offerings from your company. Work to differentiate everything your company offers from that of your competitors. 

    Define Your Mission and Objectives

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    Your mission, or reason, behind launching this company is integral to your long-term growth and success. In a few sentences, outline why you chose to start the company and why you identified it with the theme of an “herbal garden.” Offer the objectives you have with this company, outlining the years from one to five and giving tangible results to each year. This is your roadmap and the way you will move forward, so it’s crucial that you include these few sentences in your business plan. 

    Plan Your Financial Forecast 

    v

    It is tremendously easy to overestimate and underestimate the expenses and income in your launch year and those that follow. However, you’ll want to place some estimates into your business plan as a way of formulating what you believe will be in close proximity to the truth. Check the pricing on commercial kitchens, equipment rentals, serveware, serviceware, utensils, linens, tables and chairs. You’ll want to include every element possible in the estimates of both initial and on-going expenses. Also, estimate the income the company will generate. Use rough calculations to come up with a weekly, monthly and yearly total. These will be very beneficial if you require funding to launch your company. 

    Investors or lenders, banks and financial institutions may want to offer funds for your startup catering company. Consider all offers very carefully, as some may involve taking a percentage of your company and others may include high percentage rates on amounts borrowed. Think through very carefully any offers that come your way. 

    Outline Your Marketing Strategies

    How To Buy an Existing Business

    Finally, include an overview of your marketing strategies and the places where you’ll invest startup funds. Use social media callouts for local friends, associates and businesses and use Facebook or Instagram for announcement, new menu items and other important information. Maintain a clear, specific website with special discounts for return customers, and offer a blog all about your catering business. 

    Each of these sections will conform to your business plan to create a seamless document you can present at any time. Update your plan regularly and continue to create inspired recipes and menu items to grow your business as you delight your customers. Bring on the herbs! 

    Shruti Sood

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  • Everything You Need to Know About the 7 Unusual Sports You Can Only See That Is Played in Asia! – Morning Lazziness

    Everything You Need to Know About the 7 Unusual Sports You Can Only See That Is Played in Asia! – Morning Lazziness

    With a total population of approximately 4.6 billion, Asia is the continent with the largest population on Earth. So, it should come as no surprise that many of the most interesting and distinctive sports events emanate from its incredibly diverse nations and areas.

    The growth in major athletic events is the most important aspect of Asian sport development. The growing trend towards professionalization and commercialization in sports has also increased in Asian areas due to the options for participation in multi-level contests.

    You would also like to bet in Asia if you know the betting situation!

    What Is the Situation in the Sports World in Asia?

    Asia has sharply risen in its passion for sports for the past ten years. Sports-related attitudes are slowly shifting throughout Asia. In nations like India and China and several Middle Eastern nations, “Sports Culture” has experienced tremendous expansion. It has fostered financial investments, business sponsorships, and the development of fresh talent, all inspiring young people to seek careers in these sports. Now, numerous start-ups deal with sports administration, management, broadcasting, event planning, sports sciences, etc., offering various options to work in the sports industry.

    In addition to these leagues, other coaching and physical education programs have been established in multiple schools. It aims to encourage young children to choose athletics as a vocation in the future and promote sports culture. Hence, shifting people’s perspectives should be the main goal. It can only be accomplished by raising the caliber of players competing in Asian leagues.

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    It is possible if the gifted people are supported and the aspiring athletes receive the necessary training. Also, the public and government must be interested in the growth of these most popular sports in Asia and sportspeople.

    Therefore, due to the increasing influence and dominance of non-western cultures and individual nations, sport is today a truly global cultural institution that is both a product and a commodity.

    It is no longer only associated with occidental culture or dominated and organized by Western nations. The large Asian markets’ insatiable desire for sport is rerouting the flow of sports worldwide, with the Asia Pacific area now supplying enormous new audiences for televised sports as the region’s economies continue to rise.

    7 Unusual Sports Played in Asia

    Here are some unusual sports lists found in Asia:

    • Sepak Takraw – This unusual sport, popular in places like Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, and the Philippines, is best described as volleyball played solely with the feet. The word for the small ball used in action, “Takraw,” and the Malay word “Sepak,” which means kick or smash, are where the name first appeared. The sport is played on a court the size of a badminton court, divided in two by a net. Competitors must use their feet or heads to get the ball over the net and into the other team’s territory. It makes the ball game exceptionally challenging and hard because using the hands or arms is prohibited. Viewers may expect to see exciting, athletic action with abilities that are uncommon to see anywhere when watching sepak takraw.
    • Kabaddi – Kabaddi, popular in South East Asia and India, is frequently referred to as an Asian variation of the tag. ” Kabaddi ” stems from a Tamil word that means “holding hands.” Asia is the center of its enormous popularity, spreading quickly to the rest of the world. Working together is essential when playing this game. Two teams of seven players compete against one another in 40-minute matches to outscore their rivals by knocking them out with a raid or a tackle. A charge involves entering the enemy’s portion of the court, trying to tag a player, and escaping without being tackled or imprisoned. The winning team has the most points after the stipulated amount of time. The popularity of this sport has grown to the point where a World Cup has been organized, with 16 nations participating.
    • Buzkashi – This horse-mounted form of polo is mostly played in Central Asia and Afghanistan and has one important—and horrifying—difference: the game requires the use of a goat carcass in place of a ball. The game’s goal is to carry the corpse and place it in a scoring area on the side of the pitch that belongs to the other team. Buzkashi, which the Taliban had outlawed, has gained popularity recently. The Afghan Olympic Organization has established the formal rules to be followed, which is a significant step towards legitimizing the game. It’s a tradition-rich game that may not appeal to animal lovers but will not be forced underground soon.
    • Bo-taoshi – Bo-taoshi, which roughly translates to “pull pole down,” is a very challenging game performed by Japanese National Defense Academy graduates. In this exceedingly bizarre sporting encounter, teams consist of 150 warriors divided into two teams of 75, resulting in enormous confusion. The object of each game is for one side to defend a tall wooden pole while the opposing team attempts to lower the stick to a 30-degree angle. To protect the pole, the defenders divide into groups. These groups support the pole and create a human shield around the totem’s base. Bo-taoshi is a fantastic spectacle as players strive to leap over or barrel through defenders to reach their goal.
    • Pacu Jawi – Celebrating the conclusion of the harvest in Indonesia, Pacu Jawi, or cow racing, takes place once a year and involves a jockey straddling a bamboo plow tied between two charging oxen. The oxen sprint through the paddy field while the jockey struggles to maintain solid control of the plow, creating an exhilarating spectacle resembling an archaic type of jet-skiing. Since this event only occurs once a year, the stakes are high for those involved, and the jockey rivalry is fierce, creating a genuinely unique athletic event that cannot be witnessed anywhere else in the world.
    • Hombo Batu – Hombo Batu, which takes place in North Sumatra and essentially involves men leaping over stone walls up to two meters tall, must be seen to be believed. The sport, still practiced today and has unique meaning for its participants, was developed due to tribal warfare that required participants to demonstrate their athletic talent and bravery. In the past, the obstacle’s peak was even fortified with sharpened bamboo and spikes, assuring that failure hurt the contestants deeply. Today, thankfully, people who want to participate in this odd sport can do so without fear of being impaled.
    • Kurash – Several historians assert that this ancient kind of wrestling originated in Uzbekistan and dates back thousands of years. Amir Timur’s army used it as a training tool in the 14th century. Kurash places a high value on power and endurance, much like the Japanese sport of sumo wrestling. Players use towels to hold onto their opponent. After one opponent is flung or forced onto their back, the match is over.

    Is It Possible to Bet on Sports in Asia?

    Compared to the rest of the globe, betting is large in Asia, where the sports betting market generates billions of pounds annually. It implies that bigger bets are available and more affordable prices. The major bookmakers in Asia offer pricing and considerable liquidity on practically every football game due to the enormous demand for sports wagering, regardless of how obscure the league or division is. Asian culture today places a lot of emphasis on sports betting in Asia. There is no sporting event that is off-limits for wagering.

    Still, there are many doubts regarding whether sports betting is legal in Asia. It is a diplomatic question as it is legal and illegal, depending on the place. Hence, if you enjoy placing bets and gambling in your spare time, you must be looking for a trustworthy and safe betting site. Well, you can find many Asian betting sites to suit your demands. Some websites have terms and conditions for money transfers, unusual formats, and sports options.

    Conclusion

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    The regional sport has grown in popularity and influence, especially among Asian women. Sport has developed into a source of revenue for the economy and a wise long-term investment. Government initiatives must raise the level of services offered to athletes and better their living and training environments.

    Rebecca Martin

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  • How to Play Limbo Gambling Game: A Beginner’s Guide – Morning Lazziness

    How to Play Limbo Gambling Game: A Beginner’s Guide – Morning Lazziness

    The limbo gambling game is an exciting and popular game that can be played at many casinos. The game is straightforward to play and involves guessing the right height that a pole is raised to while a person is attempting to walk under it, eventually bringing in significant rewards for those who play it well. 

    In this beginner’s guide, we will explain how to play the limbo gambling game, including the rules, betting options, and strategies.

    Understanding the Game

    The limbo gambling game is often played to music that gets faster and faster as the pole gets lower and lower. The pole is typically a long stick or bar, and players must guess the height at that the bar will be raised. The player who correctly guesses the height wins a prize. Players have limited time to place their bets before the game begins. 

    Once the game starts, the player walks under the pole, and the height of the pole is lowered. The game continues until only one player is left or until the pole reaches its lowest height.

    Rules of the Game

    Before you start playing the limbo gambling game, it is essential to understand the rules. They are quite simple, though, and include the following:

    • Players must place their bets before the game begins;
    • The player who correctly guesses the height of the pole wins a prize;
    • If multiple players correctly guess the height of the pole, the prize is divided among them;
    • If no player correctly guesses the height of the pole, the prize is carried over to the next game;
    • The pole is lowered after each round until only one player remains or until the pole reaches its lowest height;
    • Players who touch the pole or fall during the game are eliminated;
    • The game continues until only one player is left or until the pole reaches its lowest height.

    Betting Options

    Casino

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    Regarding betting on the limbo gambling game, several choices are available. The most common possibilities are:

    The Single Bet

    This requires betting on a single height the pole will be raised to; if the pole is raised to the height you bet on, you win a prize.

    Multiple Bets

    This option comprises betting on multiple heights that the pole will be raised. If the pole is raised to any of the heights you placed a bet on, you win a prize.

    The Under/Over Bet

    This one implies betting on whether the pole will be raised above or below a specific height. If the pole is raised above or below the height you placed a bet on, you win a prize.

    The Exact Number of Bet

    As suggested, you bet on the exact height the pole will raise. If the pole’s elevation matches the number, you placed a bet on, you win a significant prize.

    Strategies for Winning

    While the limbo gambling game is a game of chance, there are several approaches that players can use to increase their odds of winning. The most common tactics include:

    Betting on Multiple Heights

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    This can increase your chances of winning, as it covers more possible outcomes.

    Watching Other Players

    It can help you determine the right height to bet on. If multiple players are betting on the same height, that might be the right one.

    Starting Small

    It is always a good idea to start small and work your way up; it will help you get a feel for the game and develop your own strategy.

    Betting on the Most Common Heights

    Over time, you may notice that certain heights are more frequent than others; betting on them can increase your likelihood of winning.

    Knowing When to Quit

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    You should know when to leave while you’re ahead. If you have won significant money, it may be a good idea to stop playing and enjoy your winnings. Set a budget for yourself and stick to it. Gambling can be addictive, so do it responsibly.

    Plinko: An Alternative Concept

    The Plinko Casino game is a popular game often seen on television game shows, namely “The Price is Right,” from where it hails. All you have to do is drop a chip down a vertical board filled with pegs and obstacles. The chip then bounces off said hazards, eventually landing in one of several slots at the bottom of the board, each worth a different prize or payout. In online casinos, the game is simulated using graphics and animation, but the gameplay and rewards remain the same.

    Rules include setting risk levels, pegs, and betting to your capacity. Similarly to limbo gambling, avoid rushing into high payout deals and risking too many chips. In the low-risk sector, you have fewer pegs to play. However, you will likely receive a higher payout if you are experienced enough to play the high-risk level.

    You can choose a peg number from eight to sixteen. A lower number of pegs will reduce your maximum payout, so if you want to win big, select sixteen pegs and get up to a 1000x payout.

    Shruti Sood

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  • 11 Best Notes Taking Apps for Windows 10 11 Pen Supported

    11 Best Notes Taking Apps for Windows 10 11 Pen Supported

    The font is often the first thing that you’ll want to change on a web page. The default font on a web page can be ugly and is actually up to the web browser itself, so if you don’t define the font, you really don’t know what your page will look like. Font-size /Kindle books render in either “ems” or percentages. Converters do their best to recognize points and inches, but results are iffy https://playlist.uy/?p=4314/. Also, if you don’t remove ‘ -notepadStyleCmdline -z’ from the value, Notepad++ will try to create an extension-less file named ‘-z’ in your %homepath%.

    • This menu shows the active syntax highlighter lexer , and allows you to change the syntax highlighter for the current file.
    • Deepen your understanding of popular LSS tools and techniques, and simplify complex LSS concepts with our thorough how-to guides and resources.
    • Notepad paper in printer photo tray, design, then print.
    • Only the user can decide whether the price of an app is worth its features.

    There are tons of planet-friendly options for businesses who want to promote a positive message. Choose items like our eco-friendly sticky notes, flip pads, or notepad and pen sets with full color logos. Each of these custom notepads are made trendy and sustainably with recycled paper to reduce waste.

    The syntax is similar to RGB, except you use percentages to indicate the saturation and lightness of the hue you pick. Every hex code contains six characters, and each pair of characters determines the intensity of the three primary colors from 00 to FF . Next, head over to your CSS code and add your new class selector. Within the brackets, include the background-color property.

    It really lacks many features that can be found in other competing software. Consequently, let’s take a look at the best alternatives to notepad in Windows. If you are looking for a replacement of Notepad++ for macOS, chances are you must have heard of Sublime Text.

    Best Mac Text Editors you should use

    If for some reason you have problems changing the font through the Notepad program itself, it’s possible to reset the font from the system registry. There is a key in the registry that holds the few settings that are available in Notepad, including font information, word wrap, status bar, window position, and window size. To change the font size in Notepad in Windows 11, you can go through the above-mentioned steps. In other words, you can open the Options panel and find the corresponding option.

    The text editor for PC has a tabbed interface that allows you to work within multiple files in different tabs. The user interface of ATPad is highly customizable as well; you can customize the colors, fonts, and more. UltraEdit claims to be the world’s best text-editor and while I do not agree with its self-proclaimed title, it is one of the best text editors out there. One of the best things about UltraEdit is that the program supports a ton of different languages including and not limited to C, Objective C, Javascript, XML, PHP, Perl, and Python. I liked the tabbed browsing which other good text editors have as I wanted to work on several files at one time.

    The Best Pen

    Well, the Sticky Notes app has taken the paper out of the process and taken the place of the Post-It notes we used before technology made things easier – minus the clutter. Program, allowing you to do calculations, which is a useful feature compared to other note-taking apps. Taking notes has always been a task that was done with a pen and a small notebook, and that’s exactly the principle that our second pick follows.

    Also change some preferences to get the application to save files correctly. Well, Adobe InDesign, for example, wich I purchased honestly when that was still possible. Upgrading, I fear that I would have to lease a program that I only use occasionally. I’ve put together this wrapper application that allows you to use Notepad++ directly on OS X Mavericks and Yosemite, without the need of a virtual machine.

    Ashish Janiani

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  • Notepad ++ Crashed? Lost Notepad ++ Files from Backup

    Notepad ++ Crashed? Lost Notepad ++ Files from Backup

    If there are too many files found by the software, you may as well useFindandFilterfunction to locate and select the notepad file you need quickly. Its definitely a programmers tool, as it is loaded with support for many programming languages, and even offers users the ability to define their own language. But all of this is aesthetic, there is no actual compiler, their is no way to actually test your code, all it does is allow to make your code look pretty.

    With the default PID_dT the PWM frequency is 7.689 Hz, fine for driving a square wave into a resistive load without significant impact on FET heating. This also works fine on a Fotek SSR-10DA Solid State Relay into a 250 W heater. Use M303 E-1 to tune the bed PID for this option.

    Heatinging the bed and extruder for probing will produce results that more accurately correspond with your bed if you typically print with the bed heated. Enable PROBING_HEATERS_OFF if you are experiencing electrical noise. A delay can also be added to allow noise and vibration to settle. For M851 and LCD menus give a range for adjusting the Z probe offset. This option is for any probe that’s fixed in place, with no need to be deployed or stowed.

    Name Fixer allows you to change the way contact names are displayed in the contact list. E.g. as Lastname, Firstname or Firstname Lastname. MyBookmarks is an application, which imports your Internet Explorer, Firefox, and Chrome bookmarks to the Android browser. MemoryUp Personal takes a one-click approach to accelerate memory responsiveness, and keep your smartphone running fast. OTTER lite is an Android app for those people who want to quickly reply on the message but do not enough time or will for it right now.

    Save your file with the .xml file extension.

    https://i-neti.com/notepad/step-by-step-guide-downloading-and-installing/

    You might need to restart Notepad++ or explicitly set the language to “Gherkin” under the Language menu. The following products will fail to update if the process is open while the update installation is attempted. You can control how to close or notify the user using our feature to manage conflicting processes when updating third-party applications. This is only an issue with Intune Updates, not SCCM or WSUS.Nextcloud stopped supplying an .exe installer after version 3.1 and now only provide .msi installers. The issue is that the .exe installer installed the 64bit app in 32bit locations in the registry on a 64bit system.

    • If the attempt to make the socket connection fails, Idle will notify you.
    • If you want to recover small text files, a free version of such a data recovery tool will work fine.
    • This guide will teach you how to install, add, update & remove Notepad++ plugin on Windows 10.
    • Just enter some characters and the plugin displays a matching plugin.

    Android OS lower than 5.0 will automatically back them up to the SD card. However, you can also save the note as a file and then find it on your phone’s internal storage. For example, if you create a new note and then press the back button, it will automatically save it. But, you can also choose to save it to Microsoft Word or PDF format. Then, when you want to read the note later, you can simply click on the back button and find the saved file.

    How to print a Large Image or Poster on multiple pages on a PC

    Your backup session should be in %APPDATA%/Sublime Text 3/Local/, not sure of the exact name but iirc it has backup in it. The Session.sublime_session is what contains all the data Sublime Text saves between restarts, including unsaved files. If you want to inspect their contents it’s all JSON. That’s to say, if your mac notes get disappeared, you can go to its storage location and recover from the temporary folder. When Microsoft notices that the program has been unexpectedly shut, it triggers the Document Recovery wizard. When you restart MS Word, a new panel to your left called Document Recovery will appear, asking you if you wish to recover the unsaved file.

    It LITERALLY feels like you are just drawing on a piece of paper with pencil. There’s definitely a few days when I though I would not be returning it. But when the first impression settles down, some drawbacks starts to appear. And the comments I’m reading don’t make me feel comfortable. I may have lost all my notes forever, just like that. You can access that directory location through the user library, or through the aforementioned Go To Folder command.

    Ashish Janiani

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  • 9 Important Signs Your Husband Wants To Save The Marriage

    9 Important Signs Your Husband Wants To Save The Marriage

    When you get married, you want it to last forever. But a few things go terribly wrong down the line, your husband messes up big time, and you desperately start looking for the signs your husband wants to save the marriage. You want to know that he’s doing everything he can to rectify his mistakes.

    You always wish for a long-lasting bond with your spouse. Even when everything starts to fall apart, you think of all the ways to save a marriage from divorce. According to the latest Clark University Poll of Emerging Adults, 86% of more than a thousand 18 to 29-year-old Americans expect their marriages to last a lifetime. Does your husband want that too?

    To find out if he’s as invested as you are, and that you can still save a marriage on the brink of divorce, we reached out to Ridhi Golechha (M.A. Psychology), who specializes in counseling for loveless marriages, breakups, and other relationship issues. She says, “Any marriage and relationship can be saved if both the parties are willing to do the work that saving a marriage requires.”

    9 Important Signs Your Husband Wants To Save The Marriage

    You might be looking for signs your husband wants to save the marriage for many reasons:

    • You find his habits or behavior worrisome and he doesn’t seem to change even after many conversations
    • You just found that he has been lying to you and manipulating you
    • You found out he has been having an extramarital affair
    • He hasn’t been actively involved in raising the children
    • He has been neglecting your needs

    Ridhi says, “You should consider saving a marriage if there is still love between two people. If one person doesn’t feel the same way, then there’s no point in saving a marriage from falling apart. You can’t beg or force someone to love you. You can build the bridge only when there is love and a desperate need and desire to work it out and be together.” 

    Say, you and your husband have had the talk. Grievances have been aired and promises have been made. Now what? You’re wondering if he has truly changed. Read on to assess the signs your husband wants to save the marriage.

    For more expert videos, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel. Click here.

     1. He is attentive and involved again 

    Being in a loveless marriage can be mentally draining. Dana Adam Shapiro in his 2012 book, You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married, wrote that only 17% of couples are content with their partner. The rest are just adjusting themselves due to financial issues, societal stigma, or for the sake of children.

    Ridhi says, “It’s one of the signs your husband wants to save the marriage when he becomes more attentive. He listens to everything you say. He validates your feelings, opinions, and judgments. He is more involved in your relationship again. He will start negotiating with you about the things he used to find intolerable. Or at least he will start meeting you midway.”

    2. He is taking accountability

    Ridhi says, “When trying to save a marriage that is falling apart, there will surely be failed attempts on either or both sides. For example, something as big as cheating cannot be forgiven and forgotten overnight. It takes a lot of time to recover from infidelity. For now, just the mere fact that your husband is accepting his mistake is one of the first steps to save a marriage after an affair.”

    If your partner did something wrong to hurt you like disrespecting you, yelling at you, or cheating on you, then the fact that he sincerely apologized and took the responsibility of putting the marriage in danger is one of the signs your husband wants to save the marriage. 

    Related Reading: 7 Things To Do When You Fall Out Of Love With Your Husband

    3. He is trying to build intimacy again

    We get so busy with our lives sometimes that we forget to nurture the love we have with our partners. When we finally have the time to sit with them, we realize that the spark has toned down. It’s important to rebuild intimacy of all kinds. 

    Jessica, a certified makeup artist from New York, says, “We took many steps to save our marriage. One of them was rebuilding all types of intimacy, especially physical, emotional, and intellectual intimacy. We started eating at least one meal a day together, improved our listening skills, and made sure we had sex at least once in three days. We tried new things in bed, did household chores together, and never slept without resolving our issues in an amicable way.

    “My husband did change himself to save our marriage and so did I. There’s nothing wrong about changing little things about yourself for someone you love. It’s only worrisome if you change your entire personality and let go of your individuality.”

    4. He indulges in your love languages

    A study was done on heterosexual couples regarding types of love languages and how they boost satisfaction in couples. This analysis showed that participants who used their partner’s preferred love languages had higher levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction.

    Sometimes, things go wrong when you and your partner have different love languages. You fail to understand theirs and they fail to understand yours. The five types of love languages are:

    • Words of affirmation 
    • Acts of services 
    • Receiving gifts 
    • Quality time
    • Physical touch 

    This is one of the problems I faced in my marriage. My love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. My partner is all about acts of service. It used to really annoy me whenever he failed to verbally compliment me or my efforts. This caused a lot of friction between us. We talked about it and understood that we all have different ways of expressing love. 

    So, if your husband expresses his love toward you in both your and his own love language, then it’s one of the signs your husband wants to save the marriage. 

    Important signs your husband wants to save the marriage

    5. He talks about the future with high hopes 

    Ridhi says, “If he used to refuse to talk about your marital future with certainty, and now he talks about it with high hopes, then he is surely trying to save a marriage that was falling apart because of his unreliability.” 

    When a man has a divorce on his mind, he won’t talk about the future as much as he used to. You won’t hear him discuss plans of a vacation with you, about buying a house with you, having children with you, or which school to send the kids to. It’s one of the signs your husband wants to save marriage when he sheds light on his future plans involving you. 

    Related Reading: Psychology Of Love: Theories That Make Relationships Work

    6. He is creating a better environment for the kids

    Ridhi says, “Hostile environment is very unhealthy for the children. You need to think about your kid’s mental health before you yell and hurl abuses at each other. When a husband starts creating a better environment for you and the kids, it’s one of the ways to save a marriage on the brink of divorce.”

    If the two of you engage in conflicts very often, then it’ll affect the kids severely. According to research, frequent conflicts between parents are associated with increased behavioral problems in children such as aggression, defiance, and conduct disorders. 

    7. He has team mentality

    Team mentality always helps to save a marriage from divorce. It’s one of the signs of intimacy in a relationship. It includes the following behaviors:

    • Knowing that it’s “us” and not “me”
    • Asking for each other’s thoughts and opinions 
    • Setting realistic expectations 
    • Developing shared values and respecting values that differ 
    • Asking questions and being curious about each other  

    Ridhi shares, “Team mentality in a relationship is very important. The two of you work together to achieve the same goal, which is achieving a stable and harmonious marriage. You and your husband can try to save a marriage after an affair, for example, by tackling this issue as a team.”

    On failing marriages and more

    8. Signs your husband wants to save marriage — he says so himself

    It’s one of the signs your husband wants to save the marriage when he openly says it in a believable and genuine way. Sometimes, words and actions don’t align with each other. But when your husband says and does things to work on the marriage, then it’s one of his ways to become a better husband.

    Mal, a recording artist in his mid-30s, shares, “I sensed something was not right when we stopped spending quality time together and only focused on our careers. We barely saw each other. We would come home, have dinner, and sleep. We would wake up the next morning and go to work. I thought my marriage was heading toward a dead end.

    “Thankfully, not only did he try to change himself to save our marriage, he made sure I did the same too. He convinced me our relationship is worth fighting for. We took steps to save our marriage by making time for each other.” 

    Related Reading: 9 Expert Ways To Stop Your Husband From Yelling At You

    9. He is working on himself 

    Ridhi says, “It’s one of the signs your husband wants to save the marriage when he starts working on himself. If there are signs your man has anger issues and he is taking therapy for it, then he is trying to save this marriage at all costs. Fixing a marriage can take a lot of time. A lot of trials and errors are bound to happen. If you love your husband and want the relationship to survive, support him in his journey of getting better.”

    Some examples that your husband is working on himself are:

    • He spends more time with you
    • He is open and honest about his feelings
    • He doesn’t shy away from difficult conversations
    • He knows how to fight fair
    • He comes home early from work just to spend time with you
    • He is working on his insecurities

    Key Pointers

    • If he’s trying to rebuild intimacy and trust, and wishes to talk about your future together, these are some of the signs your husband wants to save the marriage
    • Save your marriage by giving it time and by communicating respectfully
    • Consider saving the marriage when there is still mutual trust, love, and respect

    Marriage is hard work. Things get rocky once in a while. But that doesn’t mean you have to endure abuse, gaslighting, and betrayal. If you don’t want to save the marriage, that’s fine as well. If it’s just trivial things like miscommunication and misunderstanding, though, then it’s worth saving a marriage that is falling apart. 

    FAQs

    1. Can a marriage really be saved?

    Yes. Any marriage can be saved as long as the partners treat each other with kindness and empathy, and give each other space. You can’t save a marriage if there is a lack of trust and constant criticism.

    2. When is it too late to save a marriage?

    It’s never too late to save a marriage. It all depends on how much you and your partner are willing to devote to this relationship. If one partner wants to give it all and the other doesn’t, then it can’t be saved. It’s not about timing or the magnitude of love. It’s all about how much effort and compromise you’re willing to do to save the marriage.

    3. When should one really consider saving a marriage?

    You should consider saving a marriage when it starts feeling like a chore, or when there has been an incident of infidelity, or when there are financial crises or parenting issues. 

    11 Harsh Truths About Marriage No One Talks About

    Domestic Partnership vs Marriage: Difference & Benefits

    “My Husband Misinterprets Everything I Say” – 17 Tips To Help You

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  • 13 Narcissist Quotes About Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse

    13 Narcissist Quotes About Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse

    Are you dating someone who constantly seeks admiration but couldn’t care less about about your feelings and needs? Or you are friends with someone who has an inflated sense of ego and does not have even the slightest empathy toward others?

    If this sounds familiar, then you are probably dealing with a narcissist—one who always has the urge to control people and ruthlessly wants his demands met.

    Dealing with a narcissist is tough and you must have the resilience to face the negativity and attacks. You also need to learn how to self-love yourself. Read on through these narcissist quotes that can help you handle a situation involving narcissist abuse.

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  • 30 LGBTQ Books You Should Read In 2023

    30 LGBTQ Books You Should Read In 2023

    One of the best things I did for myself in 2022 (and arguably, ever) was dive deep into books that have LGBTQIA+ people as central characters. I’ve compiled a list of these LGBTQ books to share with you today. Most of these are feel-good, and no queer character dies!

    I understand that the term ‘LGBTQ books’ is a bit like saying ‘gay marriage’ instead of just ‘marriage.’ But the cishet-dominated institutions of literature and academics (and marriage) have been deliberately exclusionary toward queer and trans people. Hence the term LGBTQ books. It’s not just a much-needed refocusing on those who are invisibilized but also provides an aware, sensitive, expansive, and truthful version of the way the world ‘actually’ is.

    The Importance Of Reading LGBTQIA+ Books

    A study suggests, “When students read books where they see characters like themselves who are valued in the world, they feel a sense of belonging.” True story. Here are some other benefits of reading LGBT books:

    • Self-discovery: Many people realize they are queer when they read or watch characters they can relate to, it helps them validate their own life
    • Healing: Safe, loving queer stories, true events, and personal narratives hug those parts of you that are forever healing from past traumas, self-doubt, and the daily effects of queerphobia
    • Strength: Seeing a glimpse of your whole life, your politics, values, joys, desire, sexual identity, capacity for self-love, romantic moments, and struggles reflected in so many books makes you feel stronger and hopeful, in my personal experience
    • Queer rights: There are worlds inside some of these LGBTQ fiction books where our rights are a norm, lending force to the modern fight for equality. Belief in a safe future helps you attract love into your life too
    • Voice of queer authors: You know all those jokes about how men (dreadfully) write female characters? It’s the same with LGBTQ books written by cishet folks
    • You feel safe: When you pick up good LGBTQ books like the ones ahead, you won’t have to constantly be afraid of or seethe at the writer’s ignorance/queerphobia
    • You feel valued: This is because you see that the queer characters have agency over their lives, that their rights are not a matter of debate, that they love freely, and that their families and communities love them
    • Trans-friendly: In the best LGBTQ books, trans people will never be subjected to transphobic misconceptions that are passed off as entertainment
    • Allyship: If you’re an ally, you need to read LGBTQ books to be more inclusive in your daily language, thought, and decisions. Consume media that doesn’t call the inclusion of ONE queer character progress, but shows diversity at its most authentic
    • Acceptance: Sensitive representation of queerness leads to better mental health and teaches you how to love yourself

    Did you know that 4 in 10 books banned in 2022 were LGBTQ+-related? “Attempts to remove LGBTQ books from libraries across the US rose almost a fifth last year, with children’s books featuring LGBTQ characters making up 80% of the most challenged books,” according to The Guardian in 2020. Even the New York Public Library has joined the modern fight against the growing nationwide trend of book banning and celebrates Pride month every year.

    30 LGBTQ Books You Should Read To Be A Better Ally

    You’ll see a lot of young adult LGBT books on this list, a genre that feels like a homecoming of sorts for those of us who missed out on an authentic adolescence. These authors have contributed to the gay liberation movement by writing books that bring LGBTQIA+ people into the mainstream. Here they are:

    1. The House In The Cerulean Sea

    Author: TJ Klune (he/him)
    Genre: Fantasy, Supernatural fiction

    An LGBTQ book for teens as well as adults, this is a wholesome story with memorable and loving characters.

    • One of the best LGBTQ books that I’ve read, it has elements of magic and children and a running theme of a warm chosen family
    • A gay man meets another and a beautiful queer romance between the two leads unfolds
    • Everything about their world makes you feel like you’re being hugged tightly. Their home feels like your own
    • It’s a story that tells us the importance of seeing beyond your fear of the unknown and that we must stand up against bigotry in this changing world

    2. Juliet Takes A Breath

    Author: Gabby Rivera (she/her)
    Genre: Fiction, Bildungsroman

    An LGBTQ book for adults and teens, the story is based on a true event from the author’s life when she interned for a white feminist writer.

    • I love the intersectionality of feminism in this novel. For me, it was a rare read in which almost every character is queer (heaven!), there’s casual representation for polyamory relationships (I could cry with joy), it’s sex and body positive, and the most prominent and politically aware characters are people of color
    • It created a main character who is fat, queer, beautiful, and empowered (without making their fatness their central trait)
    • The book cleverly calls out white feminism and stands up against any gay liberation movement that is based in bioessentialism
    • It shows us how important safe spaces are for queer people of color, where they can breathe, explore, and love themselves

    Related Reading: 10 Ways The Queerphobia Is Coming From Inside The House

    3. Pet

    Author: Akwaeke Emezi (they/them)
    Genre: Young Adult LGBT book, Fantasy

    Welcome to Lucille, a new world born of revolution.

    • It’s a changed world with socio-economic equality, anti-racism, accessibility, wholesome polyamorous family structures, and LGBTQIA+ rights
    • There’s no evil, no police brutality, no monsters, and a reformative justice system that encourages rehabilitation and a ban on firearms
    • Lucille seems perfect. Except in the prologue, we are reminded of the phrase “the banality of evil”. It means that the worst things can happen in the blandest of places. And they do
    • We follow Jam, a young, black, trans, teenage girl whose transness is as matter-of-fact as the fact that she happens to be selectively mute. She grapples with some big questions about who are ‘monsters’, if we can recognize them in our own life, where they hide, and how Lucille allows them to thrive along with abusive relationships

    4. Bitter

    Author: Akwaeke Emezi (they/them)
    Genre: YA, Fantasy

    With queer characters at its center (and a hijabi queer character as well), this LGBTQ book for teenagers and adults serves as a prequel to the perfect world of Pet.

    • The story is a launchpad of revolution and an homage to fierce activism that demands sacrifice
    • The world is a mess and Bitter, a teenage bisexual girl must decide how to use her artistic skills to change the world quite literally
    • The narrative exemplifies the power of justified anger, and recognizes youth and continued protest as the bringers of change
    • It teaches you that you can maintain hope and gentle connections through conflicts

    Pet and Bitter make great LGBTQ books for teens as well as adults.

    Related Reading: Am I Bisexual? 18 Signs Of Female Bisexuality To Know If You’re A Bi Girl 

    5. Trans Like Me: Conversations For All of Us

    Author: CN Lester (they/them)
    Genre: Nonfiction, Biographical, Autobiographical

    I’ve been recommending this book to everyone since I read it. It has insightful and direct personal stories of trans people as well as important scientific research on gender.

    A 2018 report states that it is a must-read for educators, policymakers, and college administrators invested in improving the retention rates for students with marginalized identities. The report indicates that 24% of trans students suffer physical, sexual, and emotional harassment and that as many as 16% of those end up leaving college before graduation. Lester takes the reader on a journey through trans history and culture, showing how much of what we know about trans histories and people is a product of media and pop culture narratives written by cis-gendered people. All of this makes coming out of the ‘closet’ for trans people even harder.

    6. The Priory Of The Orange Tree

    Author: Samantha Shannon (she/her)
    Genre: High fantasy

    I found the book an interesting read on how the truth is different from belief, but it’s unfortunately our individual belief systems that create faiths, rules, and cultural barriers. The affection and sexual intimacy between the queer couple, Ead and Sabran, is beautifully portrayed, something that only LGBT writers are capable of. It’s one of the most engaging fantasy-filled LGBTQ history books with sorcery and witchcraft, religious and personal history of conflicts, and a search for immortality. There are also majestic dragons, dangerous journeys, court intrigues, and a quest of a few individuals to unite the world.

    7. The Tea Dragon Trilogy

    Author/Illustrator: Kay O’Neill (they/them)
    Genre: Fantasy, Graphic novel

    These three books, The Tea Dragon Society, The Tea Dragon Festival, and The Tea Dragon Tapestry are around 100 pages each, but it took me longer to finish them anyway. Because the illustrations are stunning. They transported me to Kay’s world of gentle magic and community, folklore and queerness, colorful landscapes, and tea dragons. Disabled characters, characters of color, queer characters – it’s an inclusive mix that never tries to make its diversity a central point. It just is. Every book, even with its adventures, is a light, tender-paced read.

    Related Reading: Queerplatonic Relationship – What Is It And 15 Signs You Are In One

    8. Prince And The Dressmaker

    Author/illustrator: Jen Wang (she/her)
    Genre: Fairy Tale, Graphic novel

    This feel-good book does a great job of bending gender roles and norms without actually labeling anyone as a gay man or woman. It’s open to interpretation. And my interpretation is that the two main characters are certainly, out-of-the-question queer. A prince, who loves to glam up in feminine attire, and a dressmaker who loves to experiment with her creativity on the only-too-willing prince. These platonic soulmates make a great team and portray an even better friendship throughout the book.

    9. Most Ardently

    Author: Susan Mesler-Evans (she/her)
    Genre: Fiction, Romance

    It’s one of the most light-hearted young adult LGBT books on this list. It gave me the joy of being able to reimagine one of my favorite literary characters, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, as the bisexual Elisa. She’s in a hate-love dynamic with the new and improved, young woman version of the awkward Darcy.

    • I loved the contemporary retelling and the renewed political lens
    • The importance of financial independence is shown through the economic pressures and lives of the Mexican-American Benitez family, versus the luxury of Darcy’s world
    • The solidarity among the siblings is lovely to read
    • The tenderness and loyalty between the two sisters, Julieta and Elisa, retain the original Jane-Lizzy equation
    • The frictional flirtatiousness between the two queer leads after their chance meeting continues charmingly throughout the book
    • One of the sisters is a trans girl, a fact that is as commonplace and lovely as the fact that I love this book, most ardently

    10. One Last Stop

    Author: Casey McQuiston (any pronouns)
    Genre: Romance, Fiction

    This is among the most memorable books I’ve ever read and one of the best LGBTQ romance books on this list.

    • You’ll fall in love with the chosen family and queer friendships these wonderfully quirky characters create for themselves in New York City, with a (un)healthy dose of trauma dumping
    • Casey McQuiston is brilliant in portraying grounded personal stories of an inclusive and diverse bunch of friends – bisexual, gay, drag queen, trans person, lesbian, and people of color
    • The sexual tension and intimate scenes between the two girls, August and Jane, are elegantly and passionately crafted and will make you reconsider your sexuality if you’re a straight woman
    • A story of love, hope, home, and roots – words that queer people don’t take for granted
    • The book is also a nod to the fact that we, the queers, wouldn’t be leading the same life without our queer ancestors. We’re forever grateful to the activists from the LGBTQ community who fought and died for us

    Related Reading: 17 Signs Of True Love From A Woman

    11. Red, White And Royal Blue

    Author: Casey McQuiston (any pronouns)
    Genre: Romance, Fiction

    I didn’t think Casey McQuiston, the New York Times bestselling author, could surpass expectations after One Last Stop. I was so happy to be wrong.

    • Funny, witty, warm, political, highly charged, and hella romantic, the two main characters of this LGBTQ book fall hopelessly in love no matter how forbidden their love is
    • While One Last Stop makes you forget that homophobia exists, this book brings it to the center of global attention … and solidarity
    • Also, the book has a female US president, which is nice to see at least in a fictional world. I can’t wait to read the author’s latest book, I Kissed Shara Wheeler

    12. A Strange And Stubborn Endurance

    Author: Foz Meadows (any pronouns)
    Genre: Historical fantasy, Queer romance

    • This was the first time I read a story that focuses so beautifully on a man’s sexual abuse trauma and intimacy issues, the impacted self-worth, and the systemic support he deserves (and gets) through it all
    • Apart from that, a painfully slow romance brews between the two leads, husbands Velasin and Caethari. These two are strong, smart, and sensitive men. It’s sweet, it’s hot, and it makes you want to scream at them to make a move already
    • This slow burn of queer love is deliberate and the author keeps us busy with political intrigues. We witness mysterious assassinations and murder attempts that the couple must get to the bottom of
    • It’s important to note that this is a world where LGBT rights are a given. So you see an active and prevalent inclusion of queer, genderqueer, nonbinary, and trans characters, which made my heart swell with pride

    Related Reading: Male Domestic Violence: Men Can Be Victims Too

    13. Lie With Me

    Author: Philippe Besson (he/him)
    Genre: Fiction, Romance

    • Class divides, prohibited love, and sexual exploration, this coming-of-age story is an excellent commentary on internalized homophobia and how it affects a person’s well-being throughout their life. Giovanni’s Room is another moving story that I’ve been told has a few similar themes
    • In Lie With Me, a boy falls in love with another and grows up to accept and love his queerness while the other drifts away, separated by tradition, family values and responsibilities, and shame instilled by a bigoted society
    • The book also gently covers the AIDS crisis that largely affected the gay community due to the negligence and homophobia of the US government. A trigger warning for this book: death of a gay character

    14. Fingersmith

    Author: Sarah Waters (she/her)
    Genre: Crime fiction, Historical fiction, Queer love

    An engrossing story that inspired the movie The Handmaiden. Page after page of tragedy unfolds for two women trapped and manipulated by circumstances of not their making. Their love story does have a happy ending, but it’s just a spoonful of sugar after almost 500 pages of “Wait, is she going to die?” and “Will this young woman ever have her own agency!”.

    Their love for each other is remarkably pure despite the fact they’ve never seen a healthy relationship. You can see why they are home to one another, something that often symbolizes queer love.

    15. The Body Is Not An Apology

    Author: Sonya Renee Taylor (she/we)
    Genre: Non-fiction

    Sonya taught me through an intersectional and queer lens that self-love is a political tool of revolution. Sonya melts away your bias through her own unapologetic existence and personal narratives. She says many “laws are modern-day examples of how our governments build body-based oppression into everyday lives, codifying inequity and injustice for all types of bodies. From LGBTQIA bodies to fat bodies, to women’s bodies, we live under systems that force us to judge, devalue, and discriminate against the bodies of others.”

    Related Reading: 7 Signs Self-Hatred Is Ruining Your Relationship

    16. The Natural Mother Of The Child

    Author: Krys Belc (he/him)
    Genre: Biographical

    This powerful memoir has raw, collage-like memories of pain and euphoria, and unflinching honesty and cultural criticism.

    • Krys, a transmasculine and nonbinary author, takes us through his experience of being a gestational parent to one of his children and his struggles with the pervasive word ‘motherhood’
    • He documents this journey and how giving birth made him come face to face with societal expectations, bias, and gender norms
    • He talks about the problems faced after having a baby, and how he came to a deeper understanding of his gender
    • This book serves as an important commentary on trans and enby personhood and parenthood

    17. The Order Of The Pure Moon Reflected In Water

    Author: Zen Cho (she/her)
    Genre: Historical fantasy

    This Lambda Literary Award finalist portrays a chosen family of outlaws. The bandits in this story are funny and endearing and unlearn their sexism during their journey through a forest. The world created by the author is beautifully open about the fluidity of sexual identity. It’s a tender short novel with historical allure, adventure, and action. There are also endless signs of chemistry and a budding romance between two strong and determined queer characters.

    18. The Island Of Missing Trees

    Author: Eli Shafaq (she/her)
    Genre: Magical realism, Historical, Romance

    The book struck me with its overarching presence of two gay men and their inspiring love for each other that drives the plot deeper and forward.

    • The main story is about the political division of an island, of immigrant lives, of mementos of love lost and found, of grief and roots, and of the search for truth and closure in history and bones
    • In this magical book, a fig tree watches over a family and it’s through the voice of the tree, we uncover secrets and pieces of tragedy otherwise lost to the surface
    • Beautiful, creative, imaginative, forceful, and tender, the book compels you to face the reality of intergenerational trauma and how it keeps cycling on unless addressed and healed

    Related Reading: 21 LGBTQ Flags And Their Meanings – Know What They Stand For

    19. Girl Meets Boy

    Author: Ali Smith (she/her)
    Genre: Fairy Tale, Fiction

    “It was always the stories that needed the telling that gave us the rope we could cross any river with.” – A quote from this short novel. It has a poetic, warm, funny, lyrical, radically political, and a conversational tone. The themes extend from childhood memories to consumerism and marriage equality. It reminds us that Ovid, in the Metamorphoses tale of Iphis and Ianthe, didn’t need to change Iphis into a boy to be loved by Ianthe. That we can tell stories the way we want, and change the world one story at a time.

    20. Gender Identity, Autism And Sexuality

    Authors: Eva A. Mendes and Meredith R. Maroney (she/her for both)
    Genre: Non-fiction, Autobiographical

    An excerpt from the book: “There seems to be enough evidence to indicate that autistic individuals tend to be more divergent in their gender identity and sexual identity/orientation than their non-autistic counterparts.” This is because neurodivergents are used to questioning societal norms and gender roles. While reading this book, the intersectionality of autism, gender, and sexuality in the personal history of the interviewees made me feel like I belong inside the pages with them.

    “Connecting with others in a bar setting may not fit for autistic LGBTQ people, particularly when considering the sensory overload that an autistic person may experience.” – I felt this in my bones. How do we make gay spaces more inclusive for disabled, autistic, and other neurodivergent people? A great book for queers, allies, schools, and parents of queer and autistic kids.

    21. This Is How You Lose The Time War

    Authors: Amal El-Mohtar (she/her) and Max Gladstone (he/him)
    Genre: Science fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Time travel fiction

    If you want to read romance, this tale is your best friend. It’s an epistolary novel that haunts you with a love story that spans space and timelines. In the middle of war, rival agents, Red and Blue, who have never met but only correspond through letters, can either continue to be the warriors that they’ve been trained to be – or cross the enemy line and choose each other. Their expression of love through art, nature, and poetry makes for some of the most memorable scenes written by the authors.

    Related Reading: Recognizing Soulmate Energy – 15 Signs To Watch Out For

    22. She Who Became The Sun

    Author: Shelley Parker-Chan (they/she)
    Genre: Historical fiction, Fantasy, LGBTQ history book

    Set in the 14th century, the story follows the life of Zhu, a person assigned female at birth, who adopts their brother’s identity in order to survive in a patriarchal world that favors men.

    • Zhu comes to terms with their gender and sexual identity and romantic orientation, as well as their burning desire to take over the world
    • What follows is an ambitious and larger-than-life tale of complex characters, military strategies, political power plays and battles, inter-dynasty rivalries, and spectacular victories and defeats
    • Zhu’s rival General Ouyang, who also happens to be queer, is the highlight of the book and has a powerful story arc
    • Zhu falls in love with a female character, Ma, and this queer romance and tenderness is what balances the surrounding violence for me

    Next up are children’s books. A study states that “accurate and inclusive portrayals of LGBTQ individuals in picture books serve as positive role models with whom LGBTQ children can connect with, letting them know they are not alone, and provides them with a broader understanding of themselves and others. Students can see that having a single-parent family or having two moms is a normative thing and not to be made fun of.”

    I would firmly state that the next four children’s stories must be categorized under LGBTQ books for adults as well, since none of us really read inclusive stories as kids. Here’s to a late self-discovery.

    Related Reading: 18 Types Of Sexualities And Their Meanings

    23. Julián Is A Mermaid

    Author and Illustrator: Jessica Love (she/her)

    It’s one of the best LGBTQ+ books that I’ve read. So well-conceptualized, it talks about gender exploration through a child, Julián, their self-acceptance, and stunning art that features a pride walk (Coney Island Mermaid Pride Parade in New York). Whenever I come back to this book, my two moments of overwhelm are seeing drag queens in a children’s book and seeing Abuela celebrating her grandchild in a changing world.

    24. When Aidan Became A Brother

    Author: Kyle Lukoff (he/him)
    Illustrator: Kaylani Juanita (she/they)

    One of the best children’s books I’ve ever read! Aidan is a trans boy whose parents love him exactly as he is. When he receives news that he’ll soon be a brother, he sets out to be the best brother that he can be.

    25. Mama And Mommy And Me In The Middle

    Author: Nina LaCour (she/her)
    Illustrator: Kaylani Juanita (she/they)

    A little girl misses one of her mothers as the latter goes away on a week-long work trip. This, for her, becomes the most significant event and she doesn’t quite know how to fit into the new routine where she can’t sit between her two mothers. A heartfelt LGBTQ fiction book and a cute love story book for gay couples, with beautiful art by Kaylani Juanita who also illustrated When Aidan Became a Brother.

    26. And Tango Makes Three

    Authors: Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell (he/him for both)
    Illustrator: Henry Cole (he/him)

    The iconic true story is written by a married couple. It is about two male penguins, Roy and Silo, from New York’s Central Park Zoo. They incubated an egg for more than a month and gave birth to a chick who was named Tango. This real-life story created a huge impact in the world, kickstarted conversations (thank you, Roy and Silo), was created into this children’s book and a play, and many zoos adopted this strategy for their same-sex penguins.

    Related Reading: I Am Gay, Married And I Seek Equality – Why Gay Marriage Should Be Legal

    The next few on the list are the books (not for younger kids) that I haven’t read yet, but I’m eagerly waiting to.

    27. Hijab Butch Blues

    Author: Lamya H. (she/they)
    Genre: Biography, Autobiography

    Lamya, the 14-year-old-queer character in the book says, “My God transcends gender.” A coming-of-age story about a queer hijabi person’s life that lays bare how the Quran and queerness are compatible. In the same vein, I would also like to pick one of the LGBTQ+ books by Adiba Jaigirdar (she/her). She’s a queer Muslim writer who tells the life story of queer people of color in love. We need more such LGBTQ romance books that couples can read together!

    28. Detransition, Baby

    Author: Torrey Peters (she/her)
    Genre: Domestic fiction

    I’ve only read a few pages and already know I’ll love this story. The author is the first openly transgender person ever nominated for the UK’s prestigious Women’s Prize for Fiction. New Yorker says, “Peters is refreshingly uninterested in persuading the public of the bravery and nobility of trans people, and lets them be as dysfunctional as anyone else.”

    29. The Prophets

    Author: Robert Jones, Jr.
    Genre: Historical fiction

    This is a story about a forbidden union and a taboo relationship between two enslaved young men on a Deep South plantation. Like Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, The Prophets might soon be considered one of the staple books in the gay liberation movement.

    30. The Stonewall Reader

    Edited by Jason Baumann of New York Public Library, and foreword by Edmund White
    Genre: Non-fiction anthology

    From the New York Public Library’s archives, The Stonewall Reader is a collection of firsthand accounts, diaries, periodic literature, and articles from LGBTQ magazines and newspapers that documented both the years leading up to and the years following the Stonewall Riots, which is considered the most significant event in the gay liberation movement.

    Key Pointers

    • LGBTQIA+ books are more important than ever to affirm the diverse identities of kids and teenagers across school systems and adults who have gone through discrimination at the hands of law and families
    • Feel-good queer books written by queer writers help you feel at home, lend to your self-discovery, and strengthen your resolve to fight for equality
    • Scroll through the article for LGBT books written by queer, nonbinary, and trans people with an intersectional lens. These will help you become a better ally to the community

    In the end, let me add a bonus book to this list. Less is a 2017 satirical comedy novel by Andrew Sean Greer that won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Have you read it? Tell us in the comments! As you can understand by now, when a queer person reads good LGBTQ books, it feels like they’re home. And maybe by reading these from an early age, queerphobia could become a manageable disease too.

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  • How To Carry On A Conversation With Women

    How To Carry On A Conversation With Women

    Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn – Founder of Social Attraction

    In this blog post, I will reveal some scientific secrets that will teach you how to carry on a conversation with women.

    By understanding the science behind our interactions, you’ll be better equipped to create memorable conversations that leave a lasting impression.

    🌠 Continue reading to improve your dating success and be sure to sign up for my newsletter for more exclusive content and expert advice!

    Location Change Stimulates Dopamine Production

    Changing location during a conversation can trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for reward and pleasure.

    By moving to a new spot, you introduce novelty and excitement, making the conversation more engaging and stimulating for both parties.

    • The simple act of relocating can create a sense of shared adventure and increase attraction.

    Social Dynamics Activate Oxytocin Release

    Involving others in your conversation can prompt the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and social connection.

    By engaging with multiple people, you demonstrate social intelligence and create a sense of inclusivity.

    • This group dynamic stimulates the production of oxytocin, fostering feelings of trust and comfort.

    Emotional Connection Increases Serotonin Levels

    When you speak passionately about your interests and hobbies, you invite women to connect with you emotionally.

    Sharing personal stories and experiences can lead to increased serotonin levels, a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of happiness and well-being.

    • By opening up and offering more depth in your conversations, you encourage emotional bonding and generate a positive emotional response.

    Active Listening Triggers Endorphin Release

    Active listening is key to creating a strong connection during a conversation.

    By genuinely engaging with a woman and responding thoughtfully to her input, you can trigger the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.

    • This sense of validation and understanding promotes a positive atmosphere and deepens the connection between you and the woman you’re conversing with.

    Use Humor to Boost Endorphins and Dopamine

    Humor is a powerful tool in creating rapport and attraction.

    When you make someone laugh, their brain releases endorphins and dopamine, promoting feelings of pleasure and happiness.

    Maintain Eye Contact to Enhance Oxytocin Release

    Eye contact is a crucial element of effective communication, and it also plays a role in biochemical processes.

    When you maintain eye contact with a woman during a conversation, it can stimulate the release of oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding and trust.

    • This helps to create a sense of connection and intimacy, making the conversation more engaging and memorable.

    Offer Compliments to Trigger Serotonin Production

    Paying a genuine compliment can have a powerful impact on a woman’s mood and self-esteem.

    When you compliment someone, their brain releases serotonin, a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of happiness and well-being.

    • By offering sincere and thoughtful compliments, you can make a woman feel good about herself and create a positive atmosphere during your conversation.

    Engage in Physical Touch to Stimulate Oxytocin and Dopamine Release

    Appropriate physical touch can also enhance the biochemical dynamics of a conversation.

    Light and non-intrusive touches, such as a gentle tap on the shoulder or a brief touch on the arm, can trigger the release of oxytocin and dopamine.

    • This creates a sense of comfort and attraction, deepening the connection between you and the woman you’re talking to.

    Conclusion

    • Understanding the science behind engaging conversations can give you an edge in connecting with women.
    • You can stimulate the release of neurotransmitters and hormones that promote positive feelings and enhance attraction.
    • With these dating secrets in mind, you’ll be well on your way to creating unforgettable conversations with women.

    Experience Scientifically Proven Success with Women Today!

    Unlock the power of research-backed techniques that have revolutionised the dating lives of countless men.

    Enhance your confidence, perfect your communication skills, and master the science of attraction with our expert-driven courses.

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    Resources

    1. Humor and Laughter: Bressler, E. R., Martin, R. A., & Balshine, S. (2006). Production and appreciation of humor as sexually selected traits. Evolution and Human Behavior, 27(2), 121-130. This study investigates the role of humor in sexual selection, focusing on the production and appreciation of humor as sexually selected traits. The results indicate that humor production is a valuable indicator of intelligence and creativity, and is positively correlated with the ability to form and maintain social bonds. This supports the idea that incorporating humor in conversations with women can create a fun and attractive atmosphere.
    2. Eye Contact and Oxytocin: Argyle, M., Lefebvre, L., & Cook, M. (1974). The meaning of five patterns of gaze. European Journal of Social Psychology, 4(2), 125-136. This research examines the psychological and social effects of different gaze patterns during interpersonal communication. The results suggest that maintaining eye contact can convey a sense of interest, attention, and emotional involvement, and is positively associated with the release of oxytocin. This supports the notion that maintaining eye contact with a woman during conversation can foster a sense of connection and intimacy.
    3. Physical Touch and Neurochemical Release: Field, T. (2010). Touch for socioemotional and physical well-being: A review. Developmental Review, 30(4), 367-383. This review article examines the impact of touch on socioemotional and physical well-being. The research suggests that physical touch, even in its most subtle forms, can stimulate the release of oxytocin and dopamine, promoting feelings of comfort, trust, and attraction. This supports the idea that engaging in appropriate physical touch during a conversation with a woman can deepen the connection and enhance the overall experience.

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  • 22 Cheating Girlfriend Signs – Watch Out For Them Closely!

    22 Cheating Girlfriend Signs – Watch Out For Them Closely!

    How to spot the signs of a cheating girlfriend? On one hand, you have this gut feeling that something is not right. But there is another voice inside your head that tells you that maybe you are just overthinking and being paranoid.

    In such cases, you may end up feeling like Sherlock Holmes, trying to investigate and analyze every move your partner makes. But, spoiler alert! You are not Cumberbatch. You don’t own a trench coat and you don’t play the violin. You don’t have a Watson and so you definitely need some expert tips to help you figure out if you have an unfaithful girlfriend or not. 

    If questions like “Why do I feel like she’s cheating on me?” are already weighing on your mind, something must be out of tune in the relationship. We’re here to help, with insights from communication and relationship coach Swaty Prakash, who has a decade-long experience in training individuals of varied age groups to deal with their emotional health.

    22 Sure Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend

    Cheating in relationships or marriage is not uncommon at all. In fact, in the United States, a study shows that 20% of married couples are likely to encounter infidelity. Meanwhile, 70% of unmarried couples may have to deal with cheating in the course of their relationship.

    But how do you know your girlfriend is cheating? After all, a ‘gut feeling’ is not enough proof to confront her. We’re here to help you. Here are some signs she cheated and feels guilty:

    Related Reading: 18 Warning Signs Of A Cheating Wife You Cannot Ignore

    1. Has replaced granny panties by sexy lingerie

    According to Swaty, “How we look is very important for us humans. And if we are in a romantic relationship, it becomes one of the prime facets to worry about. Have you noticed how our pupils dilate or we start playing with our hair when we are near someone we like? Even our subconscious works on making us look prettier and even smell better.”

    “Now, this couldn’t be the only sign of a cheating girl but, if looked at with a lot of other cues in place, it does indicate cheating. Also, if she is putting extra effort into how she looks but doesn’t really bother about your feedback, it obviously indicates that it is for someone or something else,” she says.

    • Granny panties have been suddenly replaced by sexy lingerie
    • She has new hobbies like hitting the gym, doing yoga, and eating healthy
    • She’s a wearing a different perfume, a little over-the-top makeup, or a gorgeous dress

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube channel. Click here

    2. Even your breathing irritates her

    Swaty says, “Nature has a strange way of inducing feelings of love and romance in humans. When you first start liking someone, your brain releases such hormones that you are blinded in love. You refuse to see anything wrong/repulsive in the other person. But this is unnatural/unlikely to continue in the long run. Moving forward, this effect wears off and your inherent likes/dislikes come to the fore.”

    “All relationships go through a phase when partners start finding faults with each other. However, this is a gradual process. But if there is a new man, the process becomes accelerated. You are no longer patient in the relationship. Irritation escalates. What looked cute earlier turns out to be absolutely irritating now. While you start liking everything about that new partner, a little too much looks wrong with your partner suddenly”, she explains.

    3. Evasive body language

    What are the telltale signs of cheaters? Relationship coach Pooja Priyamvada says, “Evasive body language is a sure-shot sign she’s cheating. A lying partner will avoid eye contact, fiddle, fumble, and try to make some excuses.” People’s lips become pale and their faces become white/red when they lie. In spite of all their pretended ease, their body language will have a different story to tell.

    How to know if your girl is cheating on you? Take this quick quiz:

    • Do you notice hesitation in her speech? Yes/No
    • Does she blink rapidly or sweat while trying to come up with a believable story to cover her tracks? Yes/No
    • Do you often find her avoiding eye contact while talking to you? Yes/No
    • Do you find her restless or fidgety when she talks to you? Yes/No 

    If you have answered in the affirmative to the above questions, chances are that you have an unfaithful girlfriend. Paying close attention to her body language (like their voice suddenly cracking or becoming high-pitched) is one way to tell if your girlfriend is cheating.

    Related Reading: Top 10 Hollywood Movies About Cheating In A Relationship

    4. Carries her devices around like a limb

    Sam, a banker in his 30s, says, “I think my girlfriend is cheating but I can’t prove it. In the past, there were no secrets between us. She used to share her computer with me or ask me to check the texts for her. But now, she shuts her laptop every time I enter the room, never sends text messages in front of me, goes out of the room to answer her phone, and has even locked her mobile with a new password.”

    Here are a few signs of a cheating woman to watch out for:

    • She has started password-protecting their devices all of a sudden
    • Her phone is always kept face down
    • She goes to a corner to pick up some calls/Does not pick up calls when you are around
    • She gets defensive and angrily says, “How dare you look at my email?” 
    • She hides her texts from you
    • She carries her devices around like a limb, lest you chance upon something they don’t want you to

    If your partner has been displaying most of these tendencies, there is a good chance you are caught in the thick of lies cheaters tell. Cheaters are not just protective about their devices but about certain places too. For example, “You shouldn’t just show up at my workplace” or “Hey, this is my woman cave. Don’t touch anything here and respect my privacy”.

    5. Her guilt is making her overcompensate

    A Reddit user wrote, “She cheated with her ex for months until he told. She got caught and didn’t stop on her own. Now she love bombs and spends every second with me and posts me everywhere. It’s been a month. Will she really change or just go back?”

    So, one of the characteristics of a cheating woman is love bombing. She doesn’t know where to put all that guilt and hence spends money on you to make up for it. If she’s gifting you new clothes all the time, that’s suspicious behavior.

    6. Her personality has changed

    Swaty says, “Personality changes vary (depending on the types of cheaters) but the partners will feel an air of change in them. They may look happier and more content without depending on the other person. They would look forward to going out alone, even to the office to escape from their partner.

    “An otherwise talkative and expressive individual may become distant and secretive, not keen on discussing their lives outside the home, and remain mostly busy on their phones. They start taking better care of themselves, notice their boyfriends much less and try to evade topics that involve too much future planning or even reminiscing about the good old days.”

    7. Has a new friend circle

    Andrew, 22, says, “I have been noticing that Sarah cannot stop talking about a woman named Catie, whom she apparently met at the gym. All her movie dates, night outs, and shopping sprees now involve her new best friend. She even stayed a couple of nights at Catie’s in the name of girls’ night. But strangely, I never get to meet her or see a single picture of them together. Relationship red flag? I think so!” Hence, if she suddenly has an overwhelming social life, it’s one of the signs your girl is cheating on you.

    8. Is distant during intimate moments

    Swaty says, “Guilt has a way of playing at the most unpopular places. For a lot of people, it could mean compensating for their wrongs by being more active in their physical relationship. Sometimes, to compensate for what they are seemingly doing ‘wrong’ to their partners, they try to improve the sexual relationship. However, I have chosen the word ‘sexual’ because they might not show the same level of physical affection in day-to-day life.

    “On the other hand, a lot of people might show a decreased level of physical intimacy because they do not find the partner attractive anymore or because their minds are totally involved with the other person. They might seem quite distant and emotionally away even during intimate moments. So while the spectrum of change in intimacy types is quite wide, one thing is sure, intimacy changes drastically when there is an affair going on.”

    9. Always has errands to run

    Pooja advises, “When a girl cheats on you, there will be a lot of time unaccounted for in her schedule.” To ascertain if your hunch about your partner lying to you has any merit to it, ask yourself:

    • Does she have a hectic schedule with no time to spend with you?
    • Do you often hear complaints of an increased workload?
    • Are her office meetings getting stretched late into the night?
    • Does she always have errands to run?

    If you find her working overtime or coming home late almost every night because she was busy “helping out a buddy in crisis”, it could be one of the clues that your girlfriend is cheating.

    10. She is a great storyteller

    The signs of her cheating can be spotted in her storytelling skills. Telling lies is not everyone’s cup of tea. One way that many people use is to describe an event minute by minute to make it sound believable. Watch out for these lies:

    • She gives you excruciating amount of detail (what her friends were wearing, what they were uploading as stories etc)
    • You observe her exaggerating a simple story
    • She’s always beating around the bush when you ask her about where she was

    11. Your schedule piques her interest

    If your girlfriend cheats on you, she will keep constant tabs on your schedule because, obviously, she wants to avoid getting caught in the act. She will keep asking you about your whereabouts. If you want to catch a cheating partner, try giving her a false sense of security by telling her that you’re busy and then show up at her door to ‘surprise’ her. The skeletons will come tumbling out of the closet.

    12. Being flirty with others in your presence

    If you notice your girlfriend flirting with others, like your friends or colleagues in your presence, then it means that she does not respect your feelings. It might also mean that she is having an affair with one of them behind your back. Maybe, she is just not mature enough to be in a relationship right now.

    13. She keeps hinting about breakup

    Even though she cannot directly reveal about her affair, she will give you subtle hints that she wants to break up. She will keep highlighting the differences between you two, which did not bother her earlier but now they do. Arguing over silly matters will become frequent. One of the warning signs of a cheating girlfriend in a long-distance relationship is when she tries her best to show you that there are no signs of relationship compatibility between you and her anymore.

    14. Gaslights you

    You know it’s the classic ‘girlfriend cheating on boyfriend’ case when she tells you that you’re imagining things. Also, she will blame YOU for making her do this. As a result, you will start questioning your sanity. She will manipulate you to such an extent that you will start doubting yourself. Gaslighting in relationships is a classic tactic used to cover up compulsive cheating and lying.

    A Reddit user wrote, “The Narcissist’s Prayer is a perfect example of gaslighting: That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, You deserved it.”

    15. Your family and friends no longer matter to her

    The people who are close to you are no longer important to her because you have lost that valuable place in her life. She’s losing feelings for you and, therefore, people close to you start to matter less to her. You should mark falling out of love as one of the signs of a cheating girlfriend. In addition, since she is guilty of being in a relationship with someone else apart from you, she will avoid meeting your family and friends at all costs.

    Related Reading: What Questions Should I Ask My Girlfriend About Her Ex?

    16. Remember, eyes don’t lie

    You might say, “I think she cheated on me but I can’t prove it.” Well, the signs she’s cheating over text are hard to catch. Instead, look deep into her eyes. If your partner truly loves you, she would be confident enough to express her feelings while making direct eye contact. But, if she avoids looking you in the eye, then it could mean that she is cheating or probably she will cheat.

    17. You both fail to communicate with each other

    Explaining why infidelity leads to poor communication, Swaty says, “How we communicate says a lot about how we feel. In the case of probable infidelity, communication is, more often than not, the first victim. There will be a sudden decrease in quality time when two partners express their hearts out and discuss the boring mundane days with enthusiasm.

    “She would like to keep it all to herself and not discuss much of her life with you now. Meanwhile, she would be emotionally uninvolved when you are trying to communicate with her. Eye contact becomes less and her display of affection in public or private becomes rigid. Her body language would not be as open as it was earlier. Questions like “How was your day?” or “When would you be home?” are met with curt, indecisive, and non-committal responses.”

    18. She goes MIA

    Life skills coach Dr.Juuhi Raai points out, “One day, she is happy with you and spends the entire day and night in your arms. Then suddenly, she doesn’t return your calls/texts and doesn’t come back home.” Hence, one of the warning signs of a cheating girlfriend is that she keeps ghosting you every now and then.

    19. She is always texting someone

    Besides going to the hallway to talk in a hushed tone, her texting game never seizes. If your girlfriend too can’t seem to stay away from her phone for a little while, chances are someone else is keeping her busy day and night. 

    When my friend Eric found out about his girlfriend cheating on him, he mentioned something very similar. He said, “I was tired of having a relationship with the shadow of a person who existed somewhere behind that screen. She was never present in any of our conversations with her full attention. She could not even leave her phone before coming to dinner, which was solely our time to talk about our days and enjoy each other’s company.” 

    signs of a cheating woman

    20. Her closed ones get uncomfortable around you

    Chances are that someone in her life is privy to all that she has been trying to hide from you. Perhaps, she confides in her best friend to cope with the cheater’s guilt that’s overwhelming her. Or maybe her sibling or cousin covers for her when needed. How can you spot the signs of affair? Notice the behaviors of their close friends or family members.

    • Are they treating you differently?
    • Do they get uncomfortable around you?
    • Do they avoid you or display negative emotions toward you?
    • Are they increasingly becoming indifferent to you?
    • Do you find them disengaging or distancing themselves from you?

    If the answer is yes, then it could be because they already know the uncomfortable truth.

    Related Reading: 10 Telltale Signs You Are Not Ready For A Serious, Committed Relationship

    21. She has trouble expressing her love

    At the beginning of the relationship, your girlfriend might have had no issues in expressing her love and saying “I love you” at least ten times a day. But now that she finds it difficult to express her feelings of love, she might be guilty of cheating on you. She may even fail to respond to your words of love and affection promptly and earnestly. This is one of the signs of a cheating girlfriend and cheater’s guilt.

    22. Your gut feeling tells you something is fishy

    Your gut knows something is amiss. This is because your heart senses something even when your brain does not. Remember, intuition rarely ever goes wrong. So, if you think your girlfriend is cheating, she probably is.

    As soon as you get evidence and catch a cheating girlfriend, you should make it a point to confirm it by confronting her directly. Once you are able to hear her confession, you must make a decision as to whether you want to let her go or whether forgiveness in relationships matters more to you. The future of your relationship will depend on your decision. Therefore, choose your course of action wisely.

    FAQs

    1. How to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you?

    There are a few signs to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you. If you notice that she has mood swings, takes drastic decisions, isn’t caring anymore, avoids intimacy, and tries to keep a tab on your schedule, know that these are signs of a cheating girlfriend.

    2. How do you tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you?

    You could confront her about cheating and she could deny it vehemently. But she continues to hang out with her new girl best friend whom you have never met, is always late from work, and smiles when that “special friend” messages. These are signs that your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you.

    3. How to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you in a long-distance relationship?

    There will be signs that your girl is cheating on you in a long-distance relationship. In a long-distance relationship, a cheating girl will not want to make time for your travel plans, could be telling you she is working late most days and hanging out with new friends, none of whom you know or have met.

    4. What are some physical signs your girlfriend is cheating?

    Physical signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you include hickeys, which you suddenly spot on her neck or chest, her reluctance to be naked in front of you, and her new lacy lingerie that you do not get to see her in. She might also be unwilling to get physically intimate with you.

    Signs Your Partner Is About To Break Up With You

    13 Cheating Guilt Signs You Need To Watch Out For

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  • Are There Any Good Women Out There? (Interview w/ @EmilySavesAmerica)

    Are There Any Good Women Out There? (Interview w/ @EmilySavesAmerica)

    Are There Any Good Women Out There? (Interview w/ @EmilySavesAmerica)

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  • How To Get A Woman Obsessed With You

    How To Get A Woman Obsessed With You

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  • LET GO, MOVE ON, and HEAL After a Toxic Relationship | Get The Guy

    LET GO, MOVE ON, and HEAL After a Toxic Relationship | Get The Guy

    In the aftermath of a toxic or narcissistic relationship, we can lose all sense of self.

    But there is a way we can heal—so we can move on and learn to trust ourselves again. And in today’s video, I share 3 mindsets that can help you do just that.

    

    Begin to Truly Trust Yourself & Believe in Your Own Worth.
    Learn More About The Matthew Hussey Virtual Retreat . . .
    TAP HERE

    Matthew:

    Sometimes in life, a dangerous person comes along, a person that ends up doing far more damage to us, our self-esteem, our sense of selves and our life than we ever thought possible. Now, when someone like this comes along and when we meet them at a time in our life where maybe there are wounds we haven’t healed, there’s childhood patterns that we’re repeating, where we’re doubting ourselves, where we find ourselves at a vulnerable moment, or we just find ourselves without the awareness of the kind of damage a person like this can do, we let them in. And upon finding that this relationship is difficult or this person has patterns that we don’t understand, we invest more in trying to make the relationship work, in trying to bring about peace with this person, in trying to make this person happy or give them what they say they want all the while hoping that one day the dynamic will change, that this person will change, that the behaviors that are causing you pain right now will cease, but they don’t.

    And when we keep investing in a person like this, when we keep giving and giving and giving, they begin to take up more and more space in our world until eventually they are our world. They monopolize our time, our energy, our attention, and the emotional toll that the relationship takes, the stress, the anxiety, the fear take up so much space that we no longer have the bandwidth to think about anything else.

    When someone becomes our world, it can actually start to rewire our brain the way we think, it can create new trauma or activate old trauma. It can make it so that we no longer distinguish between this person and the rest of the world. In our mind and our emotions, they become the same thing. It’s no longer what this person is like and what people are like. Logically, we may understand that our ex is not everybody, but emotionally it feels like that’s not true. Whatever pain this person caused us becomes the potential danger of everybody else in life. And so, when a relationship like this ends, there is this aftermath that continues. They’re now no longer present in your life, but they have left an emotional footprint.

    So now when we find ourselves trying to form a new relationship, especially romantically, but it can even take place in new friendships, we find ourselves distrusting other people, we find ourselves thinking that situations represent danger that don’t necessarily represent danger. We put up the walls, we box ourselves into a smaller and smaller and smaller corner of our own life, and we get afraid to let anyone in the way that we did before ever again. Understanding this is crucial to healing from a toxic relationship because we begin to realize that there is a kind of deprogramming that needs to happen where we no longer see the rest of the world as being associated with the danger of the person we just left, and we begin to rewrite ourselves as a strong character in our new narrative going forward. And I have three mindsets that I want to share with you today to help you do just that.

    Number one, this deprogramming begins with rewriting the narrative of that relationship. Sometimes we leave a relationship like this and the narrative we have is that people can’t be trusted, “If that could happen to me from this person, it could happen to me from anybody. When I open myself up, there’s danger.” That stops us from ever fully investing again when we take that lesson from it. But we have to rewrite the story, the story is not that people cannot be trusted, the story is one of ignoring evidence. So when we’re in a relationship like that, we see evidence that this person hasn’t got our best interests at heart, or that this is doing damage to us or that our needs aren’t getting met or that we can’t trust this person and instead of leaving, we stay and we either hope for it to get better or we try harder or we try appeasing this person or we try a different strategy all the while thinking that one day we’re going to get the peace and it never comes.

    So I want you to think about the story that you created about a relationship like this. What did you decide? Did you decide that because of what this person did to you, that relationships mean danger? Did you decide that people mean danger? Did you decide that you should never lower your guard because that’s what happens, that you should never love that intensely because that’s what happens? And if you did know that those are all decisions, those are all meanings that will rob you of the joy, the opportunity, and the passion you can experience in your future.

    Rewrite the story. This is not a story about how people cannot be trusted, this is a story about what happens if you continue to ignore the evidence about one person.

    Number two, celebrate the small, but brave steps you take. One of the things that can be hard for people to understand is that what might represent a truly ordinary action for them is an extraordinary step for you. When you’ve been in a situation like this, it’s almost like you are training yourself to walk again. Making yourself vulnerable to somebody else gives you such a visceral response, “I’m going to get hurt. This is danger. I’ve left myself wide open.”

    Of course, the instinct is just to close up. So what we have to do is almost run these mini experiments in our life. Instead of being defeated by that and saying, “I’m so hopeless,” we have to run these little experiments where we say, “Well, what would happen if I did give this person a little trust? Not all of my trust, but what would happen if I actually became a little vulnerable with this person? What would happen if I reached out, if I was kind first instead of expecting someone to be kind to me because I’m afraid that if I’m kind first I’ll get rejected or this person will take advantage of me? Or what if I put a little boundary in place that’s a boundary I’m not usually good at putting in place, I said no to someone I always say yes to?” I’m not talking romantically, I’m talking friends, family.

    I spoke up about something I needed. I voiced something that I was worried if I say that it’s going to scare someone away because my needs aren’t valid, my needs aren’t important. That’s what I learned in the last relationship is that nothing that’s important to me matters, my needs do not matter. Well, what if you voiced them in someone of your relationships in small ways? What if someone asked you to do something for them and you said, “I can’t do that today, I’ve way too much on, or I can’t do that this week, I’m so sorry”? And you just got used to these baby steps because these things are really a big deal.

    I’ll tell you right now, I grew up struggling to trust people. And in my 20s, despite the work that I was doing with people, I found it hard to trust people in my own life. I had this feeling that I was going to be taken advantage of or that if you give someone an inch, they take a mile. And so, despite having an intensely generous heart, I always have had, I love people, I always want to help, I always want to support, when it comes to the people that I know and love, I’m always there for them. And yet, I had this fear, this distrust, and I didn’t realize that until later on because my experience of life was just, I would just keep people at arm’s length. I would just keep people out. And the first time they showed me something that married up with this idea that people couldn’t be trusted, internally, I’d have this moment of, “Ah, there it is.” And there was that confirmation bias.

    And I started to realize that, you know what, the little steps that I take to trust people, to let people in, to share more of myself with someone or to do something generous for someone without fearing that I’ll be taken advantage of, those little steps, they matter, they make a difference. But recognize that your little steps may be easy for somebody else, somebody else may look at them and be like, “Really? That’s the big battle you’re fighting right now, or that’s progress to you is doing that?” But you can’t compare your significant steps to the everyday actions of people whose wiring never got disrupted or corrupted in the way that yours did. So when you make these little steps, when you get the small wins, celebrate them because those are a big deal on your healing journey.

    Number three, stumbles are okay. One of the saddest things that happens when we are trying to heal, when we’re trying to rewrite our story is that as we’re taking those small steps, we’ll sometimes get it wrong, and when we get it wrong and it confirms the suspicion that people are dangerous, that they cannot be trusted, we use that as the evidence we needed to retreat back into our cave.

    And it’s so sad when it happens because it’s like that moment in the movie where you see the character struggled to trust and they come out of their shell finally at a point in the movie where they have a breakthrough and you’re like, “Oh my God, look, they’re on their way to a better life. This is truth. They’ve accessed truth, they’re going to get better, their life is going to get better, this is so beautiful.” And you just want the best for that character, and then someone in the movie in some small way does something that inflames that character’s trust issues and you see them just retreat and you scream because you want to go, “No, you had it right. You were doing the right thing.” Maybe you did the right thing with the wrong person, or maybe even you did the right thing with the right person, but people are complicated, so this person did one little thing that doesn’t represent huge danger, it’s just represents that people are complicated and that’s okay. They have a good and a bad side. You want to will them forward, but they retreat.

    People are like that in life. You have to see that your journey of trusting, healing, opening up your heart, becoming someone who can connect again is a long-term recalibration. When our brain has become wired in a way that’s not productive for us or hurts us or keeps us away from love, it takes time to recalibrate. First, we have to make the decision that, “Okay, this isn’t working for me. Me retreating in this way is not bringing me any joy or happiness. My life is just wasting away while I’m hiding from opportunity and possibility. I don’t want this for myself. It’s not working. I need to do something about it.” That’s when you start taking small brave steps to get outside, whatever that means for you.

    What we then have to do is say, “This is a process that happens over time. The rewiring does not take place overnight, it takes time. I have to push the boundaries of what is comfortable for me until I’ve pushed them so many times that it’s like an elastic band that you stretch it once, it snaps back, you stretch it once, it snaps back, you stretch it again, it snaps back, and then you stretch it another time and it breaks and all of a sudden it changes form.” That’s what our confidence is like, that’s what our courage is like, that’s what our wiring is like. You need to keep stretching it and stretching it and stretching it until it recalibrates.

    But when you are in that process, there will be times where you get it wrong, where you trust too much, where you trust the wrong person. When that happens, you have to say, “My progress is not that I have become a person of perfect judgment because that person doesn’t exist.” And if you made mistakes with people, again, guess what? We all do. I know people that are unbelievably trusting and generous in business and they’re confident and strong and they have standards and they still get it wrong sometimes, they still get betrayed, they still have someone who took advantage of them, and that’s okay. They don’t chalk that up to some great meaning of, “Oh look, I keep getting it wrong. People can’t be trusted. I can’t be trusted with people because I always get it wrong.” They don’t do that. They just go, “Oh, okay. I’m not going to do business with that person again.”

    And the same is true in love. Don’t make what you think of as progress, this being of perfect judgment, you’re not going to be that, none of us are. But what you can be is the person who exits quicker, you can be the person who knows how to lean in and also how to lean back again when you see something that isn’t working for you. And that’s the progress. The arc of your hero’s journey is that there was a time in your life where you saw the wrong things and you stayed, and part of that staying might originally been a generosity of spirit that you were going to see if this person could improve, but then you stayed and you tried harder and they didn’t improve, and then you stayed and you tried harder and they didn’t improve. That was your character back then. But know this, you are already the character who left because otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, you wouldn’t be watching this video as the person going, “How do I recover?” You left. That’s progress.

    There was a version of you that hadn’t left, so you are already further than they are. But now that you are here, you can improve that again by being the person who when they seize the red flags, leaves quicker. I’m not saying that you bolt every time you get a hint of something you don’t like, that’s going straight back to our fear. I’m saying that when you see something you don’t like, you’re able to test that. And when the test confirms that this behavior is the wrong behavior, you’re able to exit far quicker than the old you ever could. That is your hero’s journey, that is your arc. Not bad judgment to perfect judgment, but staying, to leaving, to honoring your standards immediately.

    And when you get there, you’ll realize that you don’t need to go through life trusting everybody. Not everyone can be trusted, there’s always going to be bad people, and even good people can’t be trusted sometimes, people are complicated. But when you can trust yourself to uphold your boundaries, your standards to take care of yourself, and you no longer need to have perfect judgment and you no longer need to go through life trusting that no one will hurt you, all you need to do is trust that you’ll take care of yourself and that even if someone does hurt you, you’ll be able to get through it just like you are now.

    If you want to go on a bigger journey with me in rewiring your brain in the ways that I’m talking about, if you’re realizing that this is about deeper work for you at this stage, I have a place where you can do that deeper work, it is called my Virtual Retreat. It is happening from the 2nd to the 4th of June this year. And I promise you that if you spend these three days with me, it will move you forward in extraordinary ways in your own programming, your own internal resistance. Because we can change things about our lifestyle, we can change things on the outside, but the things that really hold us back are the things that cause us resistance on the inside, it’s the ways we get in our own way. There is no greater investment you can make than your investment in your mind because that is controlling how happy you are, that is controlling how many opportunities are coming your way, that is controlling your every experience of this life.

    So come and get control of it with me on the Virtual Retreat. The link is MHVirtualRetreat.com. I look forward to seeing you over there and thanks for watching. I’ll see you soon.

    Fionnuala Mckenna

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