Category: Dating & Love

First dates nerves hit us all. Even if you’ve already been chatting online, the anticipation and nervous excitement that comes with meeting someone new in person is unlike anything else. A great way to help steer the date in the right direction is to kick it off with a few first date icebreakers.

If you’re desperate to avoid that awkward moment when the conversation goes quiet, having a few first date icebreaker questions up your sleeve is essential. But what questions are good for a first date? To help get you started, here are a few ways to break the ice and get the conversation flowing on a first date.

First Date Icebreakers: 15 Questions to Get the Conversation Flowing

Knowing what to talk about on a first date isn’t always easy. Oftentimes, the best — and most natural — way to get the conversation flowing is through a first date icebreaker question. To help get you started, we’ve put together 15 of the best icebreaker questions for dating that you can try. Check them out below!

1. Did you grow up around here?

Asking a lot of questions on a first date shows that you’re genuinely interested in the person sitting opposite. A great way to kick off the conversation is by asking about location. Seems a little boring, right? Well, that depends on how you ask.

If you ask “Where do you live?” or something similar, you’re likely to get a short, one-word answer. But by asking about where they grew up, you’re going to learn more about their childhood and their journey to where they are now.

2. What’s your first memory?

Speaking of childhood, this first date icebreaker question can spark a lot of nostalgia — which often leads to a lot of talking. Our first memories reveal a lot about us. They show how we were raised, what we were like as kids, and what sticks with us the most. Talking about first memories is like unlocking a time capsule, and it’s always fun to explore this together on a first date.

3. What’s your dream job?

Whether we like it or not, jobs take up a lot of our lives. So, if you want to get to know someone meaningfully, you’re going to have to learn what they do professionally. But, asking “What do you do?” can be a bit boring, and sometimes people would rather just not talk about work while they’re enjoying a date.

However, by asking about their dream job, you’ll learn more about your date than if you just asked what they currently do. You’ll get an insight into what matters to them in a job, what their long-term goals are, and how they hope to reach their dreams.

4. What’s the last [blank] you [blank] that really stuck with you?

This first date icebreaker is designed to help you learn if you and your partner share similar interests. Are you an avid reader of romance novels? Ask about the last book they read that meant something to them. Is your happy place the movie theater? Ask what movie they saw most recently that had them on the edge of their seat. Tailor this question to your interests to discover if they share that interest with you.

5. Who’s your best friend?

The way your date answers this question can tell you a lot about them. If they say that their best friend is a parent, you know they’re likely pretty family oriented. Or they might tell you about their old roommate from college, in which case you’ll learn about how their friendship bond has stayed so strong over the years.

You might even get a non-human answer. How many of us count our dog as our best friend? No matter what the answer, you’ll get a window into their life and a snapshot of their priorities.

6. What do you usually do on weekends?

When it comes to first date icebreakers, this one is important. Everyone spends their free time differently and having an insight into what they normally do will tell you a lot about them. Knowing what their weekends typically look like is a fun way to get a sneak peek into their day-to-day lifestyle.

7. What trip have you always wanted to take?

Like the question about weekends, asking about vacations can tell you who a person is outside of their regular working hours. Have they always wanted to visit where their mom grew up? Or are they an adrenaline-seeker looking to go to every theme park they can? We all get a limited amount of time to travel, so what we do with that time matters.

8. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

When it comes to fun first date icebreakers, this is a great one to go with. The last thing you want is for the date to turn into a job interview, with boring questions that don’t help either of you to feel relaxed.

Asking about the craziest thing they’ve ever done, and telling them about yours, is a great way to ease any nerves and tension. Plus, it’s sure to get you both talking — and laughing!

9. If you were the host of your own podcast, what would it be about?

First dates are all about kickstarting a real, meaningful connection. The best way to do this is by getting to know each other and a great way to do that is by asking them, “If you hosted a podcast, what would it be about?”

Whether they’re into relationship podcasts, crime, or history, this icebreaker will inevitably lead to them telling you about what they’re most interested in, giving you a nice insight into their passions and hobbies. To keep the conversation flowing, follow up by asking them what podcasts they’re currently listening to and when they usually listen to them.

10. If you could only keep one app on your phone, which one would you choose?

When it comes to icebreakers for a first date, this one is sure to get you both talking! The app they pick out will likely give you some inside info about what they’re into and where they like to spend their energy. If you’re a music lover, here’s hoping they choose Spotify as the one app they’d keep!

11. Do you have a bucket list?

Have they always dreamed of spending six months traveling across Asia? Do they have the long-standing goal of running a marathon? Whatever it might be, asking them what’s on their bucket list is one of the best first date icebreakers.

Talking about what they’ve always wanted to do is a great way to meaningfully connect with someone. It’ll also help you both to figure out whether you’re interests and hobbies align.

12. Who’s your celebrity crush?

Laughter not only helps to ease any nerves but it’s also one of the most common signs of attraction. That’s why, when you’re thinking of icebreaker questions for dating, don’t be afraid to throw some funny ones in there.

Asking about their celebrity crush is always a great one. It’s sure to result in a good chuckle and you’ll also get some insight into the type of person your date is into.

13. What’s your go-to karaoke song?

Similarly, this one is sure to produce a few laughs! Find out what song they’d pick and tell them about yours. It’s a great way to kickstart the conversation and you might even get to discover a bit about their music taste and how it aligns with yours. Classic love songs anyone?

14. Do you have a mentor/role model?

A great way to spark conversation with someone new is by asking them about who their role model is and why. Asking them about influential figures in their life can give you an inside look into their character and some of the factors that shaped who they are today.

15. Are you feeling as nervous as I am?

Finally, this first date icebreaker question might seem counterintuitive. but admitting you’re nervous can be a great way to go. By saying that you’re a little nervous, you’re opening the door for your date to share their feelings, which can kick off a conversation. Plus, you can poke a little fun at yourselves while you share, which can make the atmosphere feel more relaxed.

First Date Icebreakers: Spark Meaningful Conversation

There are tons of options when it comes to first date icebreaker questions. The best choices should help you spark real, meaningful conversation, ease any nerves, and help you both to get to know each other better. Pick a few of your favorites from our list above and you’ll get a better picture of the person you’re talking to, perfectly setting yourself up for a memorable second date!

By labeling LGBTQ people as “groomers,” right-wing politicians and activists insinuate that we are sexual predators who pose a threat to children simply for existing as ourselves. This stereotype is used to promote a range of anti-queer and anti-trans laws that include criminalizing drag shows, banning LGBTQ topics from schools, and limiting access to gender-affirming care.

This strategy isn’t “new,” per se. In the 1970s, conservative activist Anita Bryant launched the “Save Our Children” campaign to bar gay and lesbian teachers from the classroom. (Bryant getting hit in the face with a pie is a delicious slice of queer history.)

But the pervasiveness of social media has exacerbated the impact of these stereotypes. In the weeks following the passage of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill, dubbed the “Anti-Grooming Bill,” the number of tweets featuring the term “groomer” rose by a startling 400 percent.

Even when legislative attacks against LGBTQ people fail to become law, the “groomer” stereotype has dangerous implications. For example, Boston Children’s Hospital received multiple bomb threats after an anti-LGBTQ TikTok account falsely accused them of “child mutilation” for offering gender-affirming care to trans youth.

In my work as a researcher on inequality and reproduction, I’ve collected interview data from trans women who are parents (or want to be parents in the future) to examine the “groomer” stereotype as a barrier to reproductive justice. This is part of a larger project to understand how race, class, and gender shape trans women’s parenting journeys.

Imagining the possibility of parenthood

Between 25 percent and 50 percent of trans adults have children, and the majority of trans people want children in the future. Still, many of the folks I talked with in my research have struggled to imagine themselves as parents, having internalized the idea that parenthood and trans-ness are incompatible.

“There’s the idea that queer people, especially gay men and trans women, are pedophiles, and it’s frighteningly effective,” said Laila, 28. “It makes it difficult for me to feel comfortable or safe being around any kids, let alone my own.” (Names have been changed for privacy reasons.)

Pearl, 26, shares a similar story. When I asked whether she always wanted kids, Pearl said, “Not at first.”

“I kept wondering how people are going to judge me,” she said. “Unfortunately, I got discouraged from how others talked about trans people, so that made me reject the idea.”

Increased surveillance of LGBTQ parents

Bathrooms are a focal point of anti-trans legislation. Portraying trans women as sexual predators, “bathroom bills” not only attempt to bar trans people from public spaces, but also incite harassment against anyone perceived to be trans.

For Nicole, 30, the possibility of anti-trans harassment has become yet another logistical detail that she must navigate as a single mother. Prior to transitioning, she’d change her son’s diaper in public restrooms, but now she’ll only change him in the car.

“Bathrooms are terrifying,” Nicole said. “Especially on long trips … I get nervous about what name he’s going to call me in public [mommy or daddy] and how other people will react to that.”

When I asked Amanda, 40, how anti-trans stereotypes affect her experience as a parent, she recalled taking her son to a Lego event at the mall, and then outside to the playground.

“I had this fear that someone was going to call security on me, just for existing,” she said.

It is vital, however, to understand the surveillance of LGBTQ parents in relation to the surveillance of communities of color. About half of Black children in the United States experience an investigation from Child Protective Services by the time they’re 18.

Anti-abortion billboards, meanwhile, claim that the “most dangerous place for an African American is in the womb.” Slogans like this only make sense if the viewer already believes that Black women are inherently dangerous to children and are bad mothers until proven otherwise.

Anti-trans and racist harassment have historically reinforced one another. For example, laws banning trans women from participating on women’s sports teams permit “suspicion-based tests” of someone’s testosterone levels. These tests are disproportionately performed on cisgender women of color who might not conform to the norms and aesthetics of white femininity.

Reproductive justice includes chosen family

To participate in my study, trans women didn’t need biological or legal connections to their children.

Skyi, 29, met one of her kids at a drag show.

“She approached me and was like, ‘You’re gorgeous. Could you be my drag mom?’” Skyi said.

Maria, 33, became a mother to kids she met while doing youth outreach in her community. She didn’t know that she was their mother until some of them tagged her on Instagram to celebrate Mother’s Day.

Other authors have argued that “anti-grooming” laws that purport to “protect youth” often do the opposite. I agree. Criminalizing LGBTQ events or preventing LGBTQ adults from working with youth will effectively isolate young people from caring adults in their community.

In other words, if so-called “anti-grooming” laws are enacted, women like Skyi and Maria might never have met their kids. This is the hypocrisy of “family values” that only recognize and support an extremely limited definition of family.

If you’re wondering whether reproductive justice includes chosen family, we need only look to the origin of the term. Black feminists coined the concept of reproductive justice in the fight against population control. And for Black feminists, “family” has always implied extended kinship networks rather than private, nuclear families set apart from their communities.

The “groomer” stereotype creates barriers to building all kinds of families. Fortunately, reproductive justice provides an excellent set of tools for fighting anti-LGBTQ hate, including a network of cross-movement coalitions, a commitment to body autonomy, and an understanding of how racial, economic, and gender inequalities work together to shape our everyday lives.

Being a nurse is hard work. The profession is highly demanding and requires nurses to work long hours while doing their shifts. This may cause an increase in fatigue and exhaustion and may lead to burnout. Therefore, it can interfere with your work. You may lose concentration, get irritated quickly, and need help to keep up with your workload. 

When you get into the habit of investing time in staying active and becoming receptive to your body’s needs, it reflects on your well-being. Hence, if you’re looking for tips on how to look after yourself better, here’s what you need to know.

1. Take out time for yourself.

As a nurse, caring for your health and well-being is essential to providing the best patient care. And the first step in caring for yourself is taking time for self-care, personal pursuits, and hobbies. However, finding time to do that is very difficult with long hours and a demanding workload. And add advanced education to the mix – it almost feels impossible to manage your work, personal life, education, and your health. While pursuing higher education can be challenging, with long hours and a demanding workload, online learning opportunities make it much easier. If you want to pursue your master’s for career advancement, you can enroll in RN to MSN programs online and study at your own pace.

Enrolling in an online program allows you to balance your coursework with your work schedule, giving you more time for self-care and personal pursuits. Pursuing an MSN degree can also lead to career advancement and higher earning potential, making it a worthwhile investment in your future. As a nurse, when you’re able to do justice to your job, it can leave you feeling satisfied and happy about your job, which can be a great source of encouragement and motivation for you. 

2. Grab A Meal Before You Work

You should get a quick food fix before your shift starts. Once you’re with patients and assisting doctors, you may need more time to have a meal and snack between checkups. You may also feel hunger pangs and dizziness. So, save yourself from getting sick and try to eat before your shift commences. 

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To ensure you have a good meal plan, refer to your schedule; if you’re working early in the morning, you may want a light meal, but if your shift is through the night, you should go for a hearty dinner. Food gives you the necessary nutrition and vitamins to power through the day. 

But don’t overeat. Overeating is also detrimental to your health; your body has to work overtime to digest a big meal. If you’re looking for the best way to balance your diet, ensure you eat enough, have a meal before your shift, and preferably from home. If you don’t have time to cook, stick to cafeteria options like fruits, salads, sandwiches, and soups. 

3. Drink Enough  Water

Being on your feet constantly can dehydrate you. 70% of your body is made up of water, so if you deprive yourself of it, the lack of hydration can take a toll on you. This may result in migraine attacks, dry mouth, and dizziness. You may also feel lightheaded, which can cause you to collapse. This is why you should always have a water bottle and drink anytime you feel thirsty. While it’s recommended that you have eight glasses of water daily, this number varies. 

It’s best to listen to your body and drink anytime you feel thirsty. Forcing yourself to stay hydrated can also backfire on you. It would also help if you swapped caffeinated and sugary drinks for water, as it can freshen you up quickly and prevent you from gaining weight by consuming too many sugary beverages.

4. Find an Exercise Routine For Yourself

Exercising can help you tone your muscles, build your stamina, and improve your lung capacity and tolerance. But as a full-time nurse, it can be hard to decide yourself to a regime. So if you cannot go to the gym and work out, try different activities at work. You can walk around hospital grounds, do light aerobics at your station, or use applications like the 7 minutes workout application to squeeze in exercise. 

Try to incorporate stretches to increase blood circulation in your muscles. While doing rounds, you can use a stress ball to flex and relax your hands and palms. 

5. Get Help for Your Mental Health

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Nursing can be stressful. At a time, you may have too many responsibilities on your shoulder that can make it hard for you to relax. You may feel stressed and too wound up at work, which can severely impact your performance. Certain cases may be too traumatizing for you and can leave a lasting impression on you. Carrying all these doubts, worries, and sadness can start weighing on your mental health.

For this reason, you need to learn to manage your stress better. If you’re carrying far too much mental load, try speaking to a therapist or counselor to give structure to your thoughts and a safe space to discuss your anxieties. You may also look into journaling, meditation, or joining a support group if it helps you cope. 

Managing stress is about letting go of everything holding you down by using various coping mechanisms to calm yourself. Your mental well-being will gradually improve when you get into the habit of doing this.

Also Read: Why Choose a Career in Nursing?

Final thoughts 

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Nursing is one of the most demanding careers in the healthcare sector. Hence, you must start looking after yourself better to ensure you can do your job well.

There are numerous ways to address your needs; this includes being more attentive about your meals and drinking plenty of water. Similarly, caring for yourself also involves working out and dedicating a small portion of your time to your fitness. Finally, remember also to get your mental health looked at. You’ll notice a significant difference in your overall health as soon as you get into the habit of minding these factors.

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• Shana’s website
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• TRS Podcast episode 348: Men, Pleasure, and Power with Shana James
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• TRS Podcast episode 110: The Healing Power of Touch with Betty Martin
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• How To Play The Three Minute Game
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If you’ve just started seeing someone, or even just messaging with someone, and it seems to be going well, it hurts when they suddenly vanish for no reason. Whether it happens after you’ve only been in touch for a little while, or you’ve been seeing them for a few months, it’s painful and confusing. Here are some tips on how to deal with it, so you can put it behind you and move on.

call out the person who has ghosted you

If you’re getting the feeling that they’ve bailed on your relationship, the best thing to do is ask them directly. Try something like: ‘I haven’t heard from you for a while so I assume you don’t want this to go any further. I’d like you to be honest with me about your feelings as it’s unkind to leave me hanging.’ A message like this calls out their behaviour whilst giving them an easy opportunity to tell you the truth.

DON’T CHASE after them

If you’ve messaged or called someone a few times and they aren’t getting back to you. don’t keep on chasing them. Whilst your desire to try and get back in touch with them to find out what has happened will be hard to ignore, you have to do it. Consider whether you actually need closure, or if hearing them tell you that they’re just not interested will make you feel worse. Try instead to view them as immature and not capable of being in a relationship as this will help you to stop blaming yourself and move on.

grieve your relationship, however short

Once you’ve accepted that you’ve been ghosted, it’s important to allow yourself to feel upset. It’s natural to build an idea in your mind of how you hope a relationship will pan out, and losing that future is hard to deal with. Allow yourself to feel sad, but also remember that the way they dealt with the situation says more about them than it does about you.

be kind to yourself

Treat yourself the same way as you would after any break up. Have a good cry, talk to your friends and family, wallow for a while and then start taking care of yourself. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, cooking nice meals or watching your your favourite films, do things that make you feel good and remind you that you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself and enjoying your own company.

GET BACK OUT THERE

It’s easy to be put off dating by one horrible experience, but the truth is that getting back out there and talking to new people will help you forget your ghoster much faster. Getting back online makes it a million times more likely you’ll stop you obsessing over what went wrong the last time and meet someone genuine and lovely instead.

Visit mysinglefriend.com and sign up now.

Landing awkwardly, falling a great distance, or even hitting your head can cause lifelong traumatic injuries. 

If you’ve recently fallen due to the property owner’s negligence, you may be able to file a claim against them to receive compensation. However, proving fault isn’t easy. We’ll tell you everything about slip and fall accidents, the type of compensation available, and how to prove fault.

What is a Slip and Fall Accident? 

A slip-and-fall accident occurs when you fall on someone else’s property. If you’ve suffered an injury caused by another person’s negligence, you may have grounds to receive compensation. However, you have a limited time to file a claim. And most property owners have an attorney to defend them in case of accidents. 

When it comes to legal issues, it’s best to consult a legal expert like Guralnick Injury Lawyer. Navigating the legal system is complex, and hiring an experienced lawyer gives you the best odds of winning. 

How to Determine Liability in Slip and Fall Lawsuits?

Determining fault is the most challenging part of the case. Here are ways you can prove fault for your slip and fall accident: 

• The defendant created a dangerous situation. 
• The defendant knew about the hazardous conditions but didn’t correct them and make them safe. 
• The defendant didn’t let others know before the incident. 

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Only one of the conditions must be met for you to prove liability. 

Also Read: Can I File a Claim If Bad Weather Caused My Truck Accident?

What are the Types of Compensation You Can Receive? 

Eight hundred thousand people are hospitalized from falls annually. Many of them suffer from severe hip fractures or head-related injuries. 

Each accident will have unique circumstances and facts. Fortunately, the victim of these slip and fall accidents have the right to recover compensation for various economic and non-economic losses such as: 

• Lost wages 
• Medical and hospital bills 
• Emotional pain and suffering 
• Loss of future earning capacity 
• Future medical costs 
• Cost of hiring an assistant or caregiver 

Also Read: What Steps Do I Need to Take After a Slip and Fall Injury

Steps to Take to Help Your Case

There are additional steps you can take to help bolster your case in court. Start by documenting everything, such as the contact information of all witnesses, along with the exact conditions of where and when you fall. 

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Ideally, you’ll want to take pictures of where it occurs, such as icy patches, wet spots, or other conditions that led to the accident. If you can show undeniable evidence that there weren’t any wet floor signs during the time of the incident, you’ll have a solid case to prove fault. 

It’s also a good idea to save the clothes you wore during the day of injury. If an insurance provider tries to claim that you weren’t wearing proper attire, you can easily counter their argument. 

Wrapping It Up 

Unfortunately, 26% of workplace injuries are caused by slip and fall incidences. Establishing fault in a claim can be difficult, so you’ll want to gather evidence and get all the help you need. 

With so many dating apps and sites to choose from, it can be hard to know which one is best for you. That’s why we’ve put together a list to help you narrow your options. Please keep in mind that these are conventional dating sites, so more specialized niches such as sugar daddy dating are not included. It’s best to look at other sites or apps for that.

Whether you’re after a quick hookup or a lifelong partner, this is the list for you! Here are the top 5 dating apps and sites in Australia.

1. Tinder

Tinder is a popular dating app that matches you with people based on their interests and proximity. It’s a simple swipe-based service that makes it easy to find your next date or hookup.

To start using Tinder, you need to create a profile with details of your age, gender, and location. After that, you can browse a list of potential matches based on their photo, age range, and interests.

If you’re interested in a person, you can like them for free on the app. However, if you want to increase your chances of getting a match, you should pay for a premium membership.

2. Bumble

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Bumble is a dating app that allows users to create profiles with pictures and then swipe through matches on the basis of their preferences. It also provides messaging options for members to get to know one another better before deciding whether or not to meet in person.

The app has a strong focus on gender equality. It aims to reduce the side effects of online dating, such as unsolicited sleazy photos and messages while creating a safer and more enjoyable space for women.

The app is free to use, but paid subscriptions offer additional features and benefits. Premium account holders can choose from a range of filters to narrow their search. These include Basic Info badges like looking for height, star sign, drinking, and smoking preferences, whether or not they have children, religion, and political leanings, as well as Interest badges like coffee, pets, wine and food preferences, music, positivity, and more.

3. eHarmony

eHarmony is an online dating site that uses a clever algorithm to match singles. Its compatibility test and profile criteria help it find matches for members looking for serious relationships.

One of the biggest differences between eHarmony and other dating sites is its 29 dimensions of compatibility. The platform looks at core traits like emotional temperament and social style, as well as vital attributes like relationship skills and values.

Another key feature is its Mutual Match algorithm, which is designed to match users who are looking for similar traits. The website sends members email alerts when they find potential matches.

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The platform also offers a number of interesting communication features, such as video dating and Ice Breaker games. However, these are premium features that require a paid subscription.

4. OKCupid

OkCupid is a free dating site that offers a variety of features to help you find a match. This includes an extensive personality questionnaire, daily recommendations, and a slew of useful tools.

It’s also one of the few free dating sites that accepts all gender identities and sexual orientations. It also has an active community and a large number of users worldwide.

The site also has a few unique features, including a Roulette-type matching feature and an app that lets you send messages to other members. It’s also available in a wide range of languages, from Argentinian Spanish to Chinese Traditional.

5. Oasis Active

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Oasis Active is an online dating site that has a huge number of members. It is free to use and offers a great deal of features.

Its streamlined interface and handy apps make it an attractive option for people who are looking for long-term relationships or casual flings. Its search function is easy to use and can be filtered by distance or location.

You can also search for profiles based on your preferences, including age, nationality, religion, and sexual orientation. The site also offers a chat feature, which allows you to connect with your matches in real-time.

Conclusion

Dating in Australia can be an enjoyable and fun experience, especially when you have access to the right tools. From OkCupid to Bumble and eHarmony, these top five dating sites offer great features like personality tests, messaging options, and filters that will help you narrow down your search results.

In this article, I will instruct you on how to get out of the friend zone with women. This will help you gain an understanding of how to move from behaviours that are synonymous with being a friend to exhibiting attractive male behaviour traits.

In this blog, you will discover how to:

• Set new dating expectations with women (fast)
• Convey your attractive qualities (like never before)
• Escalate your relationship (effortlessly)

Learning how to get out of the friend zone will also educate you on becoming a more attractive dating option to every woman you meet.

If you keep getting friend-zoned by women, then we can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

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Friend-zone defined

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The friend zone is a curious and complex phenomenon, a reflection of the intricate and often paradoxical nature of human relationships. It is a state of being in which one person desires a romantic or sexual relationship with another, while that person perceives the relationship as purely platonic.

At its core, the friend zone is a reflection of the deeper longings and desires that animate our hearts and minds, a reminder that we are creatures of passion and connection, driven by a hunger for intimacy and love. It is a way of awakening to the present moment, of embracing the richness and complexity of the human experience.

Yet the friend zone is not without its challenges and complexities. It requires us to navigate the delicate and nuanced dance of attraction and desire, subject to the vagaries of emotion and circumstance. It requires us to approach each encounter with humility and openness, to honor the complexities and ambiguities of the human heart, and to communicate with clarity and respect.

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How to get out of the friend zone with a girl?

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In short, the friend zone is a personal boundary that girls place in their minds about us being viewed as a mating potential.

Pause and consider how quickly we make decisions about a woman’s dating potential in our own minds.

One key difference between a man and a woman is that women tend to have more dating options than men. Having more dating options means that women are in a position to be more selective about their dating choice.

Can you move out of the friend zone?

Yes, we can, and how we can do this is by allowing a girl to rethink her initial assessment of our mating value.

To elaborate, if I clicked my fingers and a girl we had never considered before started to dress in a way that we find attractive, we might well then reconsider and transfer her into our mating mind.

Likewise, we can follow the same principle by moving ourselves into a woman’s mating mind. However, we first have to recognise what women desire in a sexual partner.

How to know when you are out of the friend zone?

We will know when we have moved into a woman’s mating mind because she will exhibit signs of sexual attraction.

I have created the following infographic to help recognise the main signs of sexual attraction in a woman. You can also read my signs she wants you sexually article.

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This article will teach you tried-and-tested strategies about how to NoFap. In doing so, I will outline one huge life-changing advantage – and that is the ability to control your sexual urges.

If you learn how to do that, you will transform into a more confident, attractive and desired man.

Covered here:

• The benefits of NoFapping (to become stronger)
• How to implement NoFapping in your life (and save time)
• How NoFap makes you more desirable (by being more dynamic)

Learning how to NoFap will also stop you from:

• Being frustrated in your sexual life with women
• Having deflated energy levels on a day-to-day basis
• Feeling powerless to control your sexual desires.

Here I will go through the top 13 questions that I get asked about NoFap. You will gain a greater understanding of how to make it work for you and see how NoFapping can transform you into a stronger and more self-confident man.

If you enjoy this article and find it valuable, then we can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

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What is NoFap?

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Fapping is another term for male masturbation. Therefore NoFap means that you stop masturbating for a set time.

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What is the point of NoFap?

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According to Mantak Chia, when a man ejaculates, he gives away one-third of his daily energy. So you can imagine that if you fap too often, you are giving away your energy regularly. Importantly, this energy loss stops you from using it elsewhere.

In short, no fapping is essentially about retaining this sexual energy within yourself, allowing you to channel it into other areas of your life constructively.

There are supposedly many physical and mental benefits which include:

• Clearer skin
• More energy
• More testosterone
• Increased mental focus

All of a sudden, your life is different; consider how many times a day you spend thinking about chasing up women for sex? After you go past 14 days of NoFapping, you begin to see some fantastic benefits, which I will go through in this article.

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What is the science behind NoFap?

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Around a decade ago, someone put a post online claiming that after seven days of NoFapping, their testosterone went up by 45%. Now, remember this was an unsubstantiated claim, yet it had the effect of generating massive buzz around the topic with men trying it and then posting their findings online.

As a result, we now have a decade’s worth of data from men physically trying out NoFapping in their own lives and documenting the benefits they experienced.

From a biological point of view, if you are trying to mate with a member of the opposite sex, the longer it goes on, the more your body will get into action mode to try and make that happen. This is the sweet spot where this surplus energy allows expansion into other areas of your life.

In effect, you will have:

• More mental clarity for creative pursuits
• A greater physical drive for attaining your goals

Attraction from women

If you want a better understanding of sexual selection theory and the characteristics that women are generally attracted to, then take a look at my infographic below.

This information is taken from my how to make a woman want you sexually article, which is worth reading if you want to know more about the evolutionary psychology aspect of attraction and how to be more desirable to women.

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What are the best tips for NoFap?

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In my view, the best NoFap tip is to start with a set number of days then build up from this gradually. You say to yourself: Ok, I’ve never done this before, so I will NoFap for five days. When you get to the fifth day, ask yourself: Can I do another two or three days? 

You give yourself a realistic blueprint by starting with an achievable level, making it incremental, and building up from there. It means you are more likely to stick to it.

If you are single and spend a great deal of time chasing women for short-term sex, following NoFap means you are less likely to do this or fall into chasing behaviours. And so, give yourself one day a week where you do not follow NoFap. It could be a Saturday or a Sunday, for example. However, for the rest of the week, you remain committed to it.

NoFap commitment

Consider how much you chase sex in your life? Think about sex? Check texts from women? Approach women? Try it on with women? All of these things that you do to try and have sex.

As you cannot engage in sex, NoFap has the effect of taking this single-minded focus away from your interactions with women that you meet in your life, thus resulting in less desperate or try-hard behaviour.

Adhering to the NoFap mindset means that you do not give up because an attractive girl wants to have sex. Instead, you remain committed to it. And this is where the magic happens:

The Man who Faps

Suppose you think about the typical single guy. Let’s say he meets an attractive woman, and there is chemistry there. The chances are that it will come down to him to try and instigate the act of sex. However, because of his overwhelming desire for sex, he lacks self-discipline and indulges too freely.

The Man who NoFaps

Yet, what about the man that is NoFapping? Let’s take a moment to think about the following image: the guy who picks up a book and starts reading while in bed with an attractive woman. Now you may be thinking that is ridiculous. But, pause and pay attention here because this is an important lesson. That guy is never going to be short of a date. He is never going to be short of women hitting on him. Moreover, he has sex on his terms.

Practising NoFapping takes power away externally and in its place brings an internal control: I am not going to have sex, and I will NoFap. I will not ejaculate for six or seven days.

NoFapping can simply mean no male masturbation, but for me, it should also mean not having sex with women in that period because the benefits are unbelievable.

The right mindset

Let us now return to that guy lying in bed reading his book. He is in complete control of his sexual urges and, likewise, complete control of his life. Indeed, by learning how to control your sexual urges, you will:

• Be more confident and balanced in your outlook
• Come across as less desperate and try-hard to women
• Have attractive energy about you that people will notice

You will realise that you could not previously control your sexual urges until you committed to NoFap. And now you are simply you, controlling your desires. Furthermore, you have moved out of your comfort zone, which is where you will see real value in your life.

If you want to learn more about avoiding falling into needy behaviours with women, read my dating advice for men article – the key points are included in the infographic below. You will find that practising these alongside NoFap will enhance all of your interactions with women.

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What are the associated mental benefits of NoFap?

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There is not yet enough proven evidence on this. However, from my personal experience, I find that my creativity goes up, as do my mental faculties and processing power.

I can:

• Consume books faster
• Speak at a higher level
• Debate better

All these things happen because there is a build-up of sexual energy that I am channelling to serve me.

Other benefits include training harder at the gym, requiring less sleep, and having greater vitality. You will have more energy to give to your creative endeavours because a third of that energy per day that you were potentially wasting, you can now channel into serving your goals. Additionally, women will sense this vitality when they are in your presence.

See the following infographic for other vital avenues you can channel excess sexual energy into. Read my five spiritual laws of success with women article to learn why incorporating these laws into your life makes you a more attractive man.

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Can NoFap be used as a self-development tool?

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It is incredible to use NoFap as a self-development tool. When you can control your sexual urges, you cannot help but notice the abundance of energy and focus you now have for other pursuits.

Moreover, you will have a realisation over the amount of time you spent chasing women – perhaps even women who you were not all that attracted to – simply because you were too caught up in that chasing mindset of having sex.

In short, when you get into NoFapping properly and you can control your urges, your life changes tremendously.

Supportive meditation

If your urges are out of control, I have some videos on YouTube that will help you. Type in Gary Gunn Tantra, and you will find meditative practices that I teach on how to overcome your sexual urges. Gary Gunn, How to overcome sexual desires is another.

In these videos, I outline how to control normal impulses and strong sexual urges. And so, if you are NoFapping and you need some support, then watch those videos.

As my infographic underneath depicts, meditation practices will help you tenfold in this area and more generally in living a more fulfilled and satisfying life. Read my corresponding meditation article if you want to know more about how meditation can help you.

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What are the physical benefits of NoFap?

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The immediate physical benefits of NoFapping are having more testosterone and feeling more robust and powerful. By NoFapping, you are no longer wasting a third of your daily energy.

As a result, you can channel that into feeling more vital and more mentally alert throughout your day. I am also a fan of fasting, so if you NoFap and fast, you will get double the number of incredible benefits.

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Will I have more energy on NoFap?

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I can only speak from my personal experience and from clients of mine that I have coached in NoFap. Absolutely, yes, you will have more energy because you are no longer squandering it. With this extra energy in your body, you can express yourself more.

You can be far more creative and a better conversationalist; better at everything in your life because you are not giving away and wasting vital energy. So the longer you NoFap for, the more energy you will have, and the more confidence.

Importantly, you can channel this confidence in a way that attracts women to you. As your mindset is firmly on abstinence for whatever period of NoFap you set yourself, you will therefore feel less need to be agreeable with women. And expressing disagreement stops women from automatically friend-zoning you, as does having the confidence to break rapport in conversation.

For more on this, see the infographic below. These points are from my how to attract a woman article, which outlines why breaking rapport makes you more desirable and gives you the steps to do it.

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Will NoFap help me deal with sexual urges?

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NoFap will unquestionably help you deal with sexual urges if you commit to following it for a period of time. Commit to NoFapping for seven days. If you cannot control your sexual urges during that period, you will recognise that you need to take action as it exerts too much control over your life.

As I described above, you can practice meditation on sexual urges if you struggle. You can also book a consultation call with me, and we can do some of these sessions together. NoFap and meditation are valuable tools that are natural ways of increasing your confidence and increasing your impact in the world. They are life-changing and will shape you into becoming a more powerful human being.

Toxic shame

If you do have issues around sex, one common cause can be a high level of toxic shame. Toxic shame is an intense emotion that is triggered in specific scenarios.

To learn more about toxic shame and how to clear it, I recommend reading my toxic shame article, complete with tutorial videos, as it will help you. For more immediate support, see the infographic guide here:

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How do I start NoFap?

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You start NoFap by giving yourself a time limit with a deadline, and you commit to it: I will NoFap for the next seven days.

If you do not last seven days, set a smaller target and increase it incrementally. As you get more into it, you will notice the personal benefits, which will help keep you on track.

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How soon till I see any benefits of NoFap?

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If you are someone who regularly masturbates, then you should start to observe the mental benefits of NoFap within three days. After a week, progressing to 14 days, you will begin to notice further benefits of NoFapping.

These include having higher energy levels, allowing you to train more and exist on less sleep and having clearer skin. These are all benefits that I found in my life, and you can find similar results in yours.

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How do I know whether I should try to NoFap or not?

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For me, NoFapping is a crucial area worth examining. If you do not get the initial results that you want, you can extend the number of days until you see the benefits in your own life.

I firmly believe that you should try any form of self-development because it is new and puts you out of your comfort zone. Only when we are off autopilot mode do we learn, discover, and develop our lives.

Having this forward-thinking mindset is what will make you stand out from the crowd and become a leader in your life, as my infographic below expresses. And so, if you haven’t tried NoFapping before, why not try it now?

If you want to know more about ways to elevate your thinking further and become a more desirable man, take a look at my infographic below and read my article about how to attract women.

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How long should I NoFap for?

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It is up to the individual how long they want to NoFap for. I believe there are healthy levels and unhealthy levels. Once you have NoFapped for a while, you will begin to see how many days you can do to attain the maximum benefits. Having this recognition will permit you to NoFap in cycles.

NoFap cycle

For example, if you are dating someone, you can perhaps do a cycle of seven days. Or, if you want to push it, you can do 14 days or even 28 days. If your girlfriend is away or you have a personal goal you want to achieve, you can NoFap in that period to give yourself more mental clarity.

Incidentally, suppose you are in a relationship and are used to having sex quite often. When you tell your partner you plan to start NoFapping, I guarantee she will instantly be more sexually into you.

Therefore, if you want more sex in your relationship, outline your NoFapping plan, and watch her try and instigate sex. It will propel her to try and influence you to have sex more often. You can then test how confident you are in saying no to someone you find attractive.

Right action

Notably, at this point, where you have a choice is where the magic happens. I expound this in my confidence courses, as it is crucial. Your ability to say no to sex with attractive women is the biggest and most confident thing you can do as a man.

Being a man that can turn down sex with an attractive woman conveys you are in control of your life. Try it when you are NoFapping and see how invincible you feel. Accordingly, remember this choice: You can take the short term solution, which is to have sex, or you can select the massive benefits of NoFapping by saying no and feeling the power in your life.

When you have the confidence to make this choice you naturally become a more seductive man to every woman that you meet. Moreover, it gives you the detachment to be able to focus on other seductive aspects of communication, such as those listed in my infographic below. To learn more on this, read my how to seduce a woman article.

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Summary

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• NoFap means abstaining from masturbation or sex for a set period of time
• You can channel sexual energy into attaining personal goals and creative pursuits
• Practising NoFap makes you a more attractive man who exerts self-control

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Taking the next steps

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If you want to learn more about the NoFap lifestyle and how to become more confident with women, we host transformational courses. Our training involves meditation, Tantra practices and real life teaching to approach and interact with women in the real world.

So, if you want to:

• Stop having no control over your sexual urges

And instead, want to:

• Feel empowered with vibrant energy around women

Then visit our confidence courses page and schedule a free consultation call with me on the link below where you can speak to me on a 1-1 basis about how we can help you get real life success with women.

This article will teach you everything you need to know about competition anxiety. This knowledge used in the right way will help to transform you into a more confident and attractive man.

It will help you to avoid the following:

• Having your dates cancelled by women because they have found a better dating option leaving you feeling deflated
• Looking at your phone and feeling frustrated because a woman has read your messages and decided not to reply
• A feeling of emptiness after a woman has waited for days before letting you know that she is not interested in dating you

No one should feel so powerless in their dating life – it is wrong.

If you enjoy this article and find it valuable, then we can help you get more dating success by investing in one of our courses. For more information, download our Social Attraction Training Course PDF Brochure.

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Competition anxiety in dating

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Competition anxiety is a state of nervousness or insecurity that women feel when around a confident and attractive man. They feel anxious because they know that other women are interested in dating the same man, and therefore feel like they may have to compete for his dating affection.

To make this relatable, imagine you are on a date with a woman when, suddenly, another man comes into the bar. You notice that she notices him, and they proceed to enter into a dialogue. You find yourself standing next to her while she has a conversation with him. Now, unless you are very secure in yourself, the chances are that you will feel competition anxiety at that moment.

This anxiety may manifest as:

• Tension
• Insecurity
• Sweaty palms
• A feeling of invisibility
• Negative mind chatter

The reason why you feel like this is because of competition anxiety. Or, to put it another way, you feel anxious because of the potential male competition. However, being self-aware enough to realise this will help you rationalise away those negative emotions that can cause you to act a particular (and undesirable) way around women.

In my infographic below, I outline the most significant traits that women find undesirable in men. I recommend reading my related dating coach for men article where I detail each trait and give practical ways to modify your thinking, mindset and body language to make you more attractive around women.

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Negating competition anxiety

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There is one common mistake in men that I have observed working as a professional dating coach over my years. Interestingly, there seems to be a greater tendency amongst older men in their 40’s, 50’s or 60’s to commit this dating mistake.

I am referring to this error when a man believes that he needs to tell a woman everything about himself too early on in the dating process. He divulges his whole relationship history and clarifies that he wants to commit to her. In other words, he gives the woman ‘full disclosure.’

By disclosing that he wants to be monogamous with her, he removes any competition anxiety. This is because, in his mind, his commitment negates any potential interest shown in her by other men, thereby better securing his own position.

Yet, being so upfront in this manner is the worst thing that you can do when you start dating. It can kill any attraction immediately.

Overcommitting too soon

I, myself, am an advocate of not prematurely telling a woman about your past because when you first meet a woman, you are blank slates to one another. You are building mystery by not divulging all aspects of your life and relationship history on the first date.

Additionally, not sharing too much too soon:

• Influences her to want to know more about you in a more gradual way
• Is more effective in building a lasting connection and making you desired by her

Still, in the context of competition anxiety, that anxiety diminishes as soon as you express your commitment to date only her. Speaking your mind may at first seem rewarding as the woman is aware of your hope to be in a relationship with her. Yet, suddenly, she will go from thinking, “Oh, this guy has value, I need to try hard with him,” to relaxing, as you are, in effect, saying to her, “You are my only route to intimacy.” 

Committing to a woman this early on in the dating process is harmful to any budding relationship. It makes you appear slightly hopeless, insecure and lacking other dating prospects.

The benefit of competition

As a general rule, people are at their best when there is competition. Take any of the greatest athletes in sports to gain an insight into this. Each was at their best when they had competition because it made them try harder and commit more.

Competition anxiety works much the same way in attraction and dating. Therefore, if you meet a woman who has a potential few other men she is interested in or who are interested in her, it will have the effect of making you more empowered to attract her and vice versa.

Competition anxiety helps us succeed in dating because it spurs us to be more dynamic and try harder to attract the other person. Moreover, it leads to sexual tension – and you need sexual tension if you want to be intimate with a woman and lead up to sex.

Accordingly, avoid having an early conversation about commitment and monogamy. All this does is remove the feeling of competition anxiety to your detriment – it will make you less desirable to the woman, generate uncertainty and put you straight into the friend zone.

To learn more about the friend zone and, importantly, how to extricate yourself from it, read my how to get out of the friend zone article. You can find some of the critical points in the snapshot underneath:

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Maintaining mystery

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When you first meet a woman you like, think carefully about the access you give her to your social media. I recommend not exchanging Instagram details, as giving anyone total access to your Instagram automatically gives them insight into many aspects of your life.

In my view, Instagram should be kept as your route to business or friends. Therefore, it is better to exchange Whatsapp when you meet a woman. This way, she is limited in what she can deduce about you, other than your initial first impression.

Not giving her your Instagram will ensure:

• She avoids making any early assumptions or judgements about you
• You retain some mystery about you which is alluring
• She gets to know you in a more gradual manner

By only having your Whatsapp, she will be thinking about you more. You do not want to kill it by giving her visibility over your life too early on. Therefore keep the communication on Whatsapp and have Instagram only for business.

Texting strategy

Below you will find an infographic guide to help you keep your messaging with a woman fun, engaging and, importantly, in a manner that conveys you are a self-assured man with no need to chase. To access the full detail, read my what to text a girl you like article.

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The danger of full disclosure

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Let us return to the foolishness of full disclosure in dating and how it sabotages attraction. I favour not going out for dinner with a woman on a first date because it is too much of an investment. It makes it too easy to cave in and say: Yep, so here is my relationship history. I am just letting you know in advance, so you know what you are buying into.

Disclosing your relationship history too early on:

• Kills all forms of mystery
• Makes a date dull and tedious
• Can put a woman off you instantly

You are much better placed keeping quiet about your past relationship history, as well as any conversations about monogamy and commitment.

Retaining mystery

Instead, focus on keeping the date fun and exciting. You will come across as far more of an attractive prospect by not talking about your past or displaying an eagerness to over-commit. After your date, what do you think is going to happen? She will be thinking to herself: This guy is relaxed and fun. Clearly, he is going to have other women interested in him.

Importantly, this has the following effects:

• She will be more invested in you
• You will have made a more alluring impression
• She will instigate texting you about your next date

First Date Questions

One great way to help you maintain dynamic energy on any first date is to play the Questions game. I developed this game several years ago. Many of my clients use it because it gives a supportive and straightforward framework to fall back on throughout the date if you find that conversation is dwindling or the energy is dropping.

You will find an overview of the rules in the infographic below. However, I recommend reading my first date questions article for the full details. In this article, I also give some invaluable questions you can use to flirt or connect with women.

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Capitalising on competition anxiety

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There is a scale to competition anxiety and making it work effectively for you in dating. If you have no competition anxiety, you are essentially sub-communicating that you do not have other dating options. Yet, too much competition anxiety is fruitless because it deters the other person from even trying to compete.

If we want to replicate the self-confident and dynamic man in his dating and life, he does not easily commit to anything because his life is in order. He is training at the gym. He is into his work and generally has things going on. And so why would he commit and invest too much too soon?

Lifestyle design

By replicating what attractive guys do, you can accomplish similar results. And how you do this on a broader scale is to look at your overall lifestyle. Your goals, interests and motivation in life are elements I have spoken about in previous blogs because they are so valuable to your level of desirability to women.

On Saturday, I hosted a course with one of my clients, who committed to taking another course in 30 days with me. In that period, he will be approaching ten women a day for that month. In effect, this will give him a year’s worth of experience within 30 days. Now, what do you think will happen to him in the next 30 days before he even takes the second course?

He will:

• Overcome his fear of approaching women – in a range of different scenarios
• Meet and interact with a lot of women – a number of whom will find him attractive
• Grow tremendously in confidence – which will filter through to every aspect of his life

In doing this, yes, he will face rejection, yet he will also feel more empowered and determined to succeed. He will be further on his way to transforming into a more attractive and confident man desired by women.

Handling rejection

If you are single and reading this, I guarantee you are not speaking to enough women daily that you find attractive.

I appreciate how crippling that feeling of rejection can be and how it can hold you back, which is why I have created the following infographic as a guide to help define and overcome the different levels of rejection that we experience with women.

I suggest reading my corresponding how to handle rejection with women article if you want further advice on this topic as it will help you.

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Facing rejection

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To succeed in dating, you need to be ready to face potential rejection when approaching and meeting women.

Hosting confidence courses for over ten years gives me the authority to speak about this, as a big part of my role involves taking men out in the real world and showing them how to approach and get real life success with women during the daytime.

It is powerful, transformational and it works.

Learning Daygame

As my infographic below shows, the only way you will become more successful and achieve better results with women is to approach and speak to more women. This means facing potential rejection. Consequently, take action. Go and talk to more women when the opportunity arises.

Even if you are scared, be courageous, seize the moment and do it anyway. Acting this way is the essence of what shapes you into a more confident and desirable man.

Giving men the skillset and confidence to overcome this barrier is what I specialise in. If you want to learn more about how to do this and the different ways I help men transform this area of their lives, read my daygame article.

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Creating confidence

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If you are single and reading this, you ideally want to have several women texting you to meet up. Then you can choose who you want to go on a date with. This is because, in my experience, women will have several guys orbiting or trying to meet up with them.

Of course, this depends on where you live, but if you are in a major city, you should be going out and speaking to as many attractive women as possible to overcome your anxiety and fears.

Use it to create a mindset of success in your life. You will then find that a certain number of those women will want to go on a first and a second date.

Mindset of success

In sum, the best way to get competition anxiety working for you is to take action and speak to more women and face your fear of rejection. When an interaction with a woman is going well, and you come to exchange details, be clear with her and make your intentions known.

If you would like personal support on your journey to becoming a more confident and desirable man on your terms, then we can help you. As the image below outlines, we can teach you how to approach attractive women during the day.

This involves developing your confidence in several different settings that range from the high street to cafes and clothing stores to tourist hotspots. To find out more about how we can help, visit our transformational confidence courses page.

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Summary

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Group Support Weekly Calls

We’ll meet together on weekly group support calls with a Marriage Helper certified coach who will work through the material week by week. You will get the opportunity to ask questions about your own situation and hear questions from the other members. If you can’t attend live, you’ll have access to watch all the past sessions.

Retail Value: $1,200/year value

Spring break in So Cal is a great time for families to go on an adventure. What should you put on your to-do list to make the best vacation ever? After visiting the best restaurant in Old Town San Diego, try out these fun activities.

Visit Old Town San Diego

Visiting Old Town San Diego is like stepping into the past. This historic state park has gorgeous architecture, making it a perfect place for amateur photographers. If your family needs a little downtime, you can sit back and relax on a two-hour Old Town Trolley Tour.

These tours hit all the famous spots:

• Balboa Park
• San Diego Harbor
• Little Italy
• Hotel Del Coronado
• Seaport Village
• Gaslamp Quarter

You can also explore at your own pace, giving you plenty of chances to duck into small shops and enjoy the public parks.

Old Town is also the best place to get a bite to eat. It’s famous for its Mexican cuisine, which is a must-try for out-of-towners:

• Tahona Bar
• El Agave
• Old Town Mexican Cafe y Cantina
• Café Coyote

Go Whale Watching

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San Diego whale watching is both fun and educational, making it an excellent activity for kids. You can see these majestic creatures in their natural habitat and even snap the pictures of a lifetime. If your family is lucky, the whales and dolphins may even approach the boat.

While seeing animals in a zoo or aquarium is fun, there’s nothing quite like seeing them in the wild. The salty sea breeze and hypnotizing waves can produce serenity while witnessing marine life fills people with awe. The experience goes beyond feelings — studies show it offers these benefits:

• Increased creativity
• Decreased heart disease risk
• Improved immune function

During outings, a tour guide reviews facts about whales’ biology, habits and history. Since many species are on endangered lists, guides also discuss the importance of conservation and how visitors can help.

Visit Tide Pools

If you’re on a tight budget, visiting tide pools is a free way to entertain kids. Even adults enjoy the leisurely pace of walking the beach and marveling at the unique life forms that call these pools home.

What are tide pools? When the tide goes out, it leaves water in crevasses along the shoreline. These basins are home to colorful marine species that flourish in harsh conditions:

• Barnacles
• Starfish
• Limpets
• Crabs
• Snails
• Mussels
• Seagrass
• Anemones
• Sponges

These ecosystems are complex and delicate, so it’s best not to disrupt them. However, watching these busy habitats and taking pictures is perfectly fine. Kids can also collect sea-smoothed stones and empty shells as souvenirs.

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San Diego has several great places to look for tide pools:

• Swami’s State Beach
• Cabrillo National Monument
• Cardiff State Beach
• Sunset Cliffs Natural Park
• La Jolla Underwater Marine Park

While having a list of vacation ideas is useful, don’t be afraid to stray from your itinerary. If you notice an ice cream place, get a twist cone. If your family wants to watch the sunset after visiting the best tide pools San Diego, go for it. The most important thing is to have fun and make amazing memories.

They say never go to bed mad. So, my partner and I stay up in bed and argue. Sometimes vociferously. Sometimes calmly. It depends on how late in the night it is and how hangry we are. Arguments in relationships don’t necessarily indicate you’re in troubled waters. It simply means two people are preventing a bigger fight from happening by solving the smaller ones.

My partner once taunted me after an argument and said that I would rather lose my sleep than lose a fight. But it’s good to argue and let it all out because when you stop arguing in a relationship, it means that you have stopped caring. Joseph Grenny, the co-author of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations, writes that couples who argue together, stay together. The problem begins when you start avoiding those arguments.  

We’re here to help you understand why arguments are important in a relationship, in consultation with counselor Nishmin Marshall, who specializes in offering counseling for loveless marriages, abusive marriages, boredom, fights, and sexual problems. She says, “Arguing is just another vexed version of putting your point across. When couples fight, it brings clarity. It helps them understand each other’s perspective.”

Types Of Argument Styles

Do couples fight? Yes. More often than you might think. Little arguments in relationships are perfectly normal. However, there are different ways in which people argue and no two people argue in the same manner. This is based on their attachment style, emotional intelligence, and their fight-flight-or-freeze response. There are 4 different types of argument styles:

1. Attacking style

Motivated by frustration, vexation, and anger, this argument style is all about pointing out all the wrongs the other partner has done. This argument takes place when one partner doesn’t know how to control anger in a relationship. The argument can turn aggressive and this is all about blaming one person. Some of the examples are: 

• “You always leave the wet towel on the bed”
• “You don’t help out in the kitchen”
• “You never take the thrash out”

2. Defensive style

This type of argument in a relationship happens when the person being blamed for something acts like a victim. Or they may start defending themselves by pointing out the shortcomings and flaws in the other person. For example: 

• “I would have taken the thrash out had you done the dishes tonight”
• “You are always so mean to me”
• “Can you not blame me for once?”

3. Withdrawal style 

You are either the withdrawer or the one trying to push the argument to make your point. If you are the former, then you’re likely to look for ways to avoid arguing. It shows you have a conflict-avoidant personality and you will try to maintain peace. If you are the latter, then you are hellbent on putting your point across. 

Related Reading: 11 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem Behaviors In A Relationship

4. Open style

How to have a healthy argument with your spouse? Try having an open-style argument. This is one of the most healthy ways of arguing with a partner. You are open and considerate of the entire situation. You are not fixated on your perspective or trying to prove the other person wrong. 

Types And Reasons For Arguments In A Relationship 

Nishmin says, “Couple fights are not unhealthy. When you speak out about what’s wrong, your significant other may start respecting you even more for voicing your concerns. When you hold the grudge inside you and make the other partner think that whatever they do doesn’t get to you, they will start taking you for granted.”

That being said, not all fights and arguments in a relationship are created equal. Some are more toxic than others. To help you differentiate between healthy from the unhealthy, let’s take a look at the types, reasons, and causes of relationship arguments:

1. Fighting over finances

Couples arguing about money is nothing new. If you two live together and have decided to manage your finances together, then such fights are inevitable. If both partners are willing to solve this issue and plan a budget list without making one another feel bad about being reckless spenders, then you are on the right track. 

2. Fighting about the same thing repeatedly

If you keep fighting about the same thing again and again, chances are you aren’t even trying to understand the other person’s perspective. You both are adamant that one of you is right and the other one is wrong. Such repeated fights in a relationship can turn chronic if it’s not addressed properly. If you’ve found yourself wondering, how much arguing is normal in a relationship, chances are you’re clashing a little too often, perhaps because your issues have already turned chronic. 

3. Arguing over chores

Why do married couples fight? Household chores are definitely a burning topic between couples that paves the way for arguments and bickering very often. Because when there is an imbalance in the division of labor at home, it can lead to many fights and ugly confrontations. It’s because one partner is too lazy to do their share of work. 

According to research conducted on the connection between household work and sexual satisfaction, it was found that when male partners reported making a fair contribution to housework, the couple experienced more frequent sexual encounters. 

4. Arguments related to family

This is one of the common couple fights. The arguments could be about anything – your partner disliking your family or you feeling like your partner doesn’t prioritize you as much as they prioritize their family. Family connections run deep. Hence these arguments can’t be avoided. You have to talk to each other and find a way to work through it.

5. Arguments triggered by trust issues

Constant fighting in a relationship due to suspicion can genuinely damage the foundation of your love. If suspicion, lack of trust, or betrayal has seeped through the relationship, you may end up arguing all the time. It can become difficult to go back to the way things were in your relationship. Trust, once broken, is very difficult to rebuild. You need to learn the tips to build trust in a relationship. Always know that with dedication, honesty, and love, nothing is impossible. 

6. Couple fight over lifestyle choices 

If one loves to party and the other one is a homebody, then these fights are bound to happen. The introverted partner who doesn’t like to go out much may feel pressured or see themselves as boring. This will make them feel bad about themselves. The extroverted partner, on the other hand, may feel stifled. You both have to compromise and find a middle ground. 

Fighting In Relationships — How Much Is Too Much?

To know how much is too much fighting in a relationship, we reached out to Ridhi Golechha, (M.A. Psychology), who specializes in counseling for loveless marriages, breakups, and other relationship issues. She says, “If you don’t tell your partner that one of their actions is bothering you, they will never know. Your partner is not a mind reader to know what’s going on inside your head. A lack of communication only causes anger to build up on both sides.

“This can result in constant fighting in a relationship, which can be exhausting. You might even question if it is worth draining your energy over. But isn’t that what relationships are all about? You fight, apologize, forgive, and kiss each other. Not because you love fighting. Because you want to be with this person despite difficult times.

“However, that doesn’t mean you can start arguing anywhere and anytime. A mindful argument is very important. You need to pick the right time to voice out your concerns. If you are only fighting, bickering, complaining, and criticizing each other, then it’s unhealthy, and sooner or later it will take a toll on your mental health.”

Couples who argue focusing only on the fights and trying to prove the other person wrong without figuring out how to stop constant arguing in a relationship tend to drift apart. If you’ve been wondering how much arguing is not normal in a relationship, here are a few parameters than can help you assess when your clashes have veered into unhealthy territory:

• When you start disrespecting the other person
• When you start verbally abusing them
• When you are not fighting for the relationship but against the relationship 
• When you give ultimatums and threaten to leave them 

Related Reading: Top 35 Pet Peeves In Relationships

Pros And Cons Of Relationship Arguments 

Is it normal to fight every day in a relationship? Well, that depends on the kind of fights you’re having. Conflict can be an opportunity to learn more about the other person, heal, and grow together. Most people assume that it’s unhealthy when couples fight. But that’s hogwash. It brings more honesty into the relationship. However, as we said before, not all arguments are created equal and fights among couples have their share of pros and cons, which include: 

Pros:

• When couples argue, they learn about each other’s flaws, differences of opinions, and ways of thinking. It brings them closer by creating a deeper level of understanding. When you learn to manage and accept those differences, you will create a loving and peaceful relationship
• Conflicts can make you stronger as a couple. When you resolved a fight with, “I love you and I am glad we are talking about it”, it shows that you value your relationship more than your differences 
• When you sincerely apologize after a fight, it instills a feeling of purity and wholesomeness. You feel good about yourself and your relationship

Cons:

• When couples who argue resort to criticism and blame games, they end up using the “You” phrases like “You always”, “You never”, and “You only”. Such phrases make the other person feel guilty even if they aren’t on the wrong side
• When you don’t resolve an argument, you prolong the conflict. As a result, you feel angry, bitter, and hostile toward your partner
• Repeatedly fighting over the same thing can drive you away from your partner. They will begin to avoid you in order to avoid the argument 

Dos And Don’ts While Arguing With Your Partner 

Responding to the question, Is it normal to fight every day in a relationship?, a Reddit user says, “How often couples fight in a healthy relationship depends on how you define fighting and arguing in a relationship. Do all couples get into screaming matches? Probably not. Do all couples have disagreements from time to time? Yup. There are couples who argue more outwardly. Then there are couples who argue in a more passive-aggressive way. And then some couples just avoid problems. Every person handles and resolves conflict uniquely, so the dynamics of conflict resolution will also vary from couple to couple.”

Arguing couples should understand that there are a few rules of argument in a relationship. There are some dos and don’ts while handling conflicts. Here are some tips on how to fight in a relationship:

Dos	Don’ts
Always listen to their side of the story	Don’t keep focusing on complaints; keep your approach solution-oriented
Always use “I” statements to get your point across	Couples arguing should never use hyperbolic terms like “Always” and “Never”
Always remember that you are both on the same side. You are not fighting against each other but fighting together against a problem	Don’t make assumptions, criticize, or drag family members into your problems
Listen empathetically	Never downplay an issue or invalidate your partner’s concerns
Have cooling-off periods	Don’t hit below the belt or target their weaknesses
Show physical affection. Touch them even when you are having an argument	Don’t give ultimatums or threaten to leave the relationship
Own up to your mistakes and apologize	Once a conflict has been resolved, don’t bring it up in future arguments

Why Arguments Are Healthy 

“Why do we argue? Is it healthy to fight in relationships?” These questions may weigh on your mind after every argument with your SO. Responding to these questions, Riddhi says, “Irrespective of the causes of arguments, couples argue because they love each other and something one person did or said is bothering the other. You can’t let it go because then it becomes avoidance. It’s indifference that’s unhealthy, whereas relationship arguments are completely healthy because you are not sweeping the problems under the rug. You are showing you care and you want to fix the problems. 

“Is it normal to fight every day in a relationship? Yes, if the aim is to build a strong relationship. No, if all you want to do is vent your anger and criticize your partner. With the help of these little arguments in a relationship, you get to learn about each other’s triggers, traumas, and insecurities. You get to know each other’s value systems better. Arguments are also discussions between two people who aren’t on the same page but they are on the same team.”

Disagreements are bound to happen in relationships. You can even argue or disagree about things daily. As long as neither of you resorts to abuse or toxic tendencies like silent treatment or stonewalling, there’s nothing to worry about. I believe that spousal arguments are one of the ways of being vulnerable with the person you love. I used to be someone who froze at the thought of confrontation and preferred stonewalling when I was upset with my partner. However, over time, I learned the value and importance of arguing early in a relationship, thanks to my partner who has a unique ability to tell me where I’m going wrong without making me feel conscious, guilty, or insecure.

He asked me to do the same and speak up whenever I’m miffed with him instead of going inside my shell and staying there for weeks till I feel better. He made me realize how this is unfair toward him and how this was creating cracks in our relationship. We are newly married and we’re still learning how to argue properly in a relationship, but one thing is for sure, we argue and we argue a lot. But we never put down each other or threaten to leave the relationship. 

How To Handle Arguments In A Relationship

The purpose of any argument is to find the problem and cure it. When couples argue constantly, they often forget their ultimate destination, which is to find a solution. Fighting in relationships and how much is too much fighting becomes a crucial question when all you do is bicker and argue, and don’t know how to let go of resentment long after the conflict has been resolved. If the objective is to win an argument with your spouse, then you’ve already lost. Here are some tips on how to handle fights with your partner that can help arguing couples resolve conflicts more skillfully:

• If your partner is hurt because of your actions, accept it. Apologize and take responsibility for your wrongdoings
• Learn to compromise. You can’t have your way every single time. If you want to peacefully resolve an argument, then this is the way to go about it
• If one partner withdraws, don’t force them back into the fight. Don’t chase them around screaming or yelling
• When couples argue, they often forget that they are in a heated discussion with someone they love and end up saying things that they will regret. Never forget that you love this person and wouldn’t want to hurt them intentionally
• Once an argument has been put to rest, don’t resurrect it in another argument

Just because you are fighting a lot doesn’t mean your relationship is headed to a dead-end. When handled right, they can help improve your compatibility as a couple. If your fights are becoming overwhelming and nothing seems to alleviate the negativity, you must consider couples counseling to find the root cause of your problems. If you’re looking for professional help, Bonobology’s panel of experienced counselors is only a click away.  

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The healthcare industry is constantly evolving, with new developments, policy shifts, and technological advancements opening up a world of opportunities for professionals in the field. In the aftermath of the recent pandemic, the healthcare industry is in dire need of qualified individuals in healthcare administration to improve patient care and effectively manage operations in a time-compressed environment.

If you’re passionate about healthcare and want to make a difference in the industry without being a clinical employee, a career in healthcare administration is a perfect choice. Best of all, there are some amazing career opportunities that the field of healthcare administration can offer. Continue reading as we highlight the importance of healthcare administration in the industry and provide a list of different roles you could pursue after earning a health management degree. 

Healthcare administration is a field that encompasses a variety of roles and responsibilities, from managing healthcare facilities to overseeing operations and finances and making strategic decisions that focuses on improving the quality of patient care. It’s a dynamic and challenging field that requires analytical and compassionate individuals who have a strong desire to improve the quality of care that patients receive. 

If you’re seeking a career in healthcare administration, a master’s degree in health management or an MBA with concentration in healthcare administration can equip you with the skills and knowledge you need to succeed in this dynamic and challenging field. 

An MBA in healthcare management combines business education with specialized training in healthcare administration, giving you a comprehensive understanding of the healthcare industry, including healthcare policy, finance, and operations. The program also provides you with the opportunity to develop leadership and management skills that are essential for running healthcare organizations effectively. 

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With an MBA in healthcare management, you’ll be well-positioned to take on high-profile and leadership roles in top-notch healthcare organizations and advance your career in the industry.

Whether you’re just starting your career or looking to make a change, there are plenty of options to consider in this exciting and growing field. So, let’s dive in and explore what healthcare administration has to offer:

1. Healthcare Consultant

Healthcare consultants are one of the most in-demand professionals in the healthcare administration field. They play a crucial role in helping healthcare facilities run smoothly. Healthcare consultants work closely with healthcare organizations to conduct in-depth research on the existing operations, identify potential problems and performance gaps, and develop solutions to improve or remodel operations in a healthcare facility. They can guide staff on healthcare safety regulations, medical best practices, insurance compliance, and implementation of healthcare standards.

To become a healthcare consultant, you must have a master’s degree in health administration, as this provides a strong foundation in healthcare management and business principles. You will require problem-solving skills and industry-specific knowledge and skills to analyze healthcare systems and implement effective solutions that can improve patient outcomes and increase operational efficiency.

As the healthcare industry continues to grow and evolve, the need for qualified healthcare consultants is only expected to increase, making it one of the most in-demand professions. 

Also Read: 7 Things to Know Before Pursuing an Online Nursing Degree

2. Nursing Home Administrator

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If you’re someone who has a passion for healthcare and enjoys managing organizational and business aspects of a healthcare or nursing facility, then you might want to consider a career as a nursing home administrator. Not only do these professionals play a crucial role in ensuring that long-term care facilities operate smoothly, but they also get to work closely with patients and their families to provide the best possible care.

As a nursing home administrator, you’ll have a variety of responsibilities, including:

• Keeping abreast of any changes in regulations and medical standards.
• Guiding medical and administration staff.
• Creating budgets and maintaining finances.
• Managing and monitoring healthcare staff performance.
• Supervising mundane processes.
• Ensuring delivery of quality patient care.
• Scheduling training sessions for both healthcare and administration staff.

Also Read: How To Choose A Most Suitable Salon Pos System?

3. Health Insurance Manager

If you have a knack for understanding the intricacies of health insurance, then you should consider a career as a health insurance manager. A health insurance manager plays a crucial role in helping patients navigate the complex world of healthcare insurance, ensuring they receive the coverage they need to receive proper medical care.

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Patients often find it difficult to understand the intricacies of health insurance plans, which can lead to stress, confusion, and uncertainty. Health insurance managers help patients understand health insurance policies, their benefits, and ways to file claims. 

As a health insurance manager, you’ll be responsible for coding claims, processing patient bills, developing benefit plans, and ensuring patients receive the care covered in the medical insurance without undue financial burden. 

4. Practice Administrator/ Practice Manager

Small private healthcare and medical practices, particularly, rely on talented practice administrators or managers to keep their operations running smoothly. They are responsible for managing and supervising everything from staff recruitment to staff management, appraisal, contract negotiation, employee training, and budgeting. They’re also responsible for managing other areas of a healthcare facility, such as office administration, finance, reporting, and maintaining office facilities.

Practice administrators are highly educated professionals who possess exceptional interpersonal and organizational skills. They are often the go-to person for solving problems, managing staff, and ensuring regulatory compliance. With a combination of business and healthcare knowledge and exceptional organizational and leadership skills, you’ll be well-prepared to take on this important role.

5. Director of Training and Development 

In today’s fast-paced and constantly evolving healthcare industry, having well-trained and skilled professionals on your team is essential. That’s why healthcare organizations are always looking for a training and development director who can help maintain and improve the education and skills of their employees.

As a director of training and development, you will play a crucial role in developing and implementing training programs that ensure the staff provides the highest quality care to their patients. You’ll work closely with both management and healthcare professionals to assess employee performance and identify areas for improvement. You’ll also be responsible for coordinating in-house training sessions and sourcing external training programs that will benefit the staff.

Final Thoughts

Healthcare administration is a dynamic and growing field that offers a range of career opportunities. Whether you’re interested in managing a hospital or clinic, working in health insurance or consulting, or overseeing training and development programs, there’s a healthcare administration career that can match your interests and skills. By pursuing a degree in healthcare administration and gaining relevant work experience, you can position yourself for a rewarding and fulfilling career in this vital sector. So explore your options and take the first step towards your dream career in healthcare administration today!

If being in love is the most beautiful feeling, being betrayed is undoubtedly the most devastating. It can understandably break your heart if the person you invested your body, soul and emotions in turns out to be a cheat in love. However, there’s a catch. If trust is the bedrock of all healthy relationships, suspicion is the weak link that creates havoc. That’s when you need to ask – Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Many marriages have hit the rocks after unfounded accusations of cheating being hurled by one partner on the other, only to realize how wrong they were. Unfortunately, by this time, the relationship has already soured. Does this mean that you need to let your guard down?

Certainly not! While trust is a key cornerstone of a healthy relationship, blind faith can leave you completely blindsided. So, while it’s essential to not ignore the red flags of infidelity, there is a difference between genuine doubt and constant paranoia about cheating. And that’s what you will recognize as you read below.

What Is The Difference Between Paranoia And Suspicion?

Amanda noticed inexplicable transaction on her husband Jude’s account. She thought worrying about cheating is pointless, so she went ahead and confronted him. Jude was caught off-guard and couldn’t give a convincing reply. Amanda now started noticing other things. An emotional withdrawal, frequent all nighters, diminishing sex life. She gradually grew more suspicious of him.

Dani was feeling something similar in her relationship. Ever since Dani and her husband Tom had had their first child, Dani had developed a fear that Tom was going to grow apart in marriage. “After all, that is what my father had done. That is what men do!” she thought. Tom was a caring husband, now also a doting father. But Dani kept looking for reasons why he would leave her and seeking evidences of his infidelity. She was paranoid that he was going to abandon her for his freedom.

Do you notice the difference between the usage of the words “suspicious” and “paranoid”? While Amanda’s mistrust in her relationship is based on evidence, Dani’s constant paranoia about cheating exists despite anything concrete she can put her finger on. Moreover, Amanda has reasons to believe there is someone else or some where else her husband is spending his time, money and emotions at. Her fears are centered within a limited scope.

On the other hand, Dani’s suspicions are wider in scope, centered around abandonment issues. She thinks she will be left alone. In fact, Tom cheating is only one way he will abandon her. Her cheating paranoia could also change forms into something else to prove her fears. She could worry that her husband could die and leave her alone to raise the child by herself.

In simple words, paranoia is extreme fear that is not based in evidence and therefore sounds unreasonable, e.g. obsessive thoughts about spouse cheating due to causes of insecurity. A paranoid person tries to prove their paranoia in one way or the other. If evidence is produced against their belief, they would rather assume that they were being lied to than allowing their fears and doubts to be cleared. While, suspicion is a fear based in evidence or a reason for it to exist.

Is He Cheating or Am I Paranoid – 11 Signs That Will Tell You The Truth

Sustaining a relationship is a real challenge. You need to continuously make efforts to keep the spark alive but that should come from a space of love and not fear – fear of being left alone or betrayed. Constant paranoia about cheating can be maddening. But why does this fear arise? Love coach and YouTuber Heidi blames it on your belief system.

“If you operate from the belief that men and women cheat, it will affect your romantic behavior. Much as you love him, you will not be able to share your fears or inadequacies resulting in relationship-related anxiety, feelings of being overwhelmed and rejected all of which lead to confrontational behavior, searching for evidence and doing crazy things,” she says.

“The core issue is that your belief system says you are not enough or are not worthy of being loved. When you feel unworthy, you either pick on people who cheat on you or make you feel they will,” she adds explaining the context when suspicion leads to paranoia. Do you often wonder, “Why am I so paranoid about my boyfriend cheating on me”? This ought to give you some perspective on your behavior pattern.

That being said. not all doubts are unfounded. Cheating in relationships is not uncommon. The question is – what do you do about it? First and foremost, know that worrying about cheating is pointless unless you have a solid reason to believe that your partner is betraying your trust.

And how do you know it? What do you do when you have a strong gut feeling he’s cheating but no proof? Watch out for the obvious and subtle signs and then, most importantly, think whether your partner’s actions unequivocally point to his transgressions. We have listed 11 tell-tale signs that women often speak of when they suspect their partners. See if they apply to you and what they mean….

Related Reading: Signs Your Husband Is Having An Affair

1. He is secretive about his phone

Are you saying: He constantly changes his passwords, hates it when I try and peek into his phone and snatches it away from me if I dare touch it. He becomes edgy and doesn’t like anyone answering his phone if he is busy. Also, he spends hours speaking to someone at a particular time. Are these signs he’s cheating on his phone? I wonder whether it’s a good idea to secretly check his phone but that device phone is more fiercely protected than the classified documents at the CIA. All of this gives me a strong gut feeling he’s cheating but no proof.

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Our phones mirror our lives these days. But strangely, even in very strong relationships, couples do not like it if their partners peek into their phones. Some chats are personal so they might not appreciate it. These are not obvious signs he’s cheating on his phone. If he acts too edgy, spends long hours whispering into the phone, then that’s odd, and you need to figure out what’s going on.

2. He goes out too frequently without telling me

Are you saying: Earlier, he would inform me about his whereabouts. But of late, he has been staying out way too often and way too late. He doesn’t pick up calls and when I ask him, he is usually evasive. When I make a plan, he usually finds he has an alternative plan. If I try to talk to him about it, he blames it on my constant paranoia about cheating and calls me insecure. Argh! Why am I so paranoid of being cheated on?

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Men can stay out for a number of reasons (maybe he just loves going out with the lads!). Perhaps, he is being evasive or hiding details about this routine because he fears that telling you he is chilling with his friends will lead to arguments and fights. Your antenna should be up only if he has no answers. Even so, look at your tone. Is it accusatory? Does he feel like you are nagging and clinging? Give him space for a bit but watch out.

3. He is obsessed about his looks and fitness

Are you saying: He is on a shopping spree. He goes to the salon far more frequently. He has changed his style completely. He used to hate red, now he wears red shirts! He has become a gym regular when earlier he used to hate it. I think I am being cheated upon, definitely! It’s like he is not even the same person I got into a relationship with, and I’m paranoid about cheating.

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: This is a worrying sign if you are in a long-term relationship. If your partner has indeed found a new love, he may try and change his looks. But first, find out if it’s because of a new realization about the need to stay fit and healthy or if there is something more to it. Change of appearance or being health conscious are not always signs of infidelity.

Related Reading: 15 Warning Traits Of A Serial Cheater – Don’t Be His Next Victim

4. Something seems artificial in our relationship

Are you saying: He is just the same – kind, affectionate and caring. But something seems amiss. He looks lost. When he shows affection, it’s like he is play-acting. It doesn’t appear to come naturally. The effort shows as he acts withdrawn. I have a gut feeling he’s cheating but no proof. How do I stop worrying about him cheating?

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Australian dating coach Mark Rosenfeld has an answer for this. “Maybe he is stressed at work, there may be money issues or even bedroom problems. He doesn’t want to talk about it, so is withdrawn. Do not freak out. He may be innocent, you don’t know yet. So first things first, take a deep breath and don’t give in to irrational fears.”

5. His social media is getting out of control

Are you saying: He is spending way too much time on FB and Instagram. It feels like gadgets are ruining our relationship because he is constantly glued to one. If he is not on his phone, he’s browsing social media platforms on his laptop or tablet. I see his profiles everywhere and he is changing his DP way too often. Why would he do that unless he is trying to impress someone? Also, he does not post pics of us together.

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Social media is a strange beast. The need to change one’s DP often or spending hours on Instagram getting the right filter reflects a need to seek validation. So, how to stop thinking your partner is cheating? Do not overreact at his social media game. How about giving him the taste of his own medicine and upping your social media profile, and see his reaction? It will give you answers.

6. His friends are all those who are not loyal

Are you saying: I dislike his friends. Somehow they all seem to be having affairs left, right and center. However, he does not appear to have any problems with such behavior. He even thinks it’s ‘cool’ to have an affair or two. I have a gut feeling he’s cheating too and hides it well.

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Do you have any proof of his infidelity? Or are you paranoid just because he has cheating friends? Agreed, peer pressure can be a strong influence. We can also understand how this would leave you paranoid about cheating in your relationship. But him telling you their stories are signs he’s not cheating on you. Relax, use this opportunity to talk to him about YOUR views and the boundaries in your relationship.

Related Reading: 12 signs your husband is having sex outside the marriage

7. Gosh, he’s on Tinder

Are you saying: I realized that he is on Tinder and has been chatting up single women. He has put up a picture that I recognize too. Why would a man in a committed relationship ever be on a dating app? What if he is meeting those women? If these are not signs he’s cheating on his phone, what will be? Why do I keep thinking about my partner cheating? But this is not constant paranoia about cheating, this is proof!

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Sorry to break your heart but there are a lot of committed men and women on dating apps. Sure, it sucks and you should not take it lying down. Probably he is not having an affair just yet, and he may be purely looking for some harmless flirting. Even so, this is not a very promising sign for the future of your relationship, so do not let it go without making your displeasure and disapproval known.

8. Our sex life isn’t great anymore

Are you saying: The passion is missing. He just doesn’t seem to be interested in making love anymore. Often, even if I initiate it, he doesn’t reciprocate my advances. It seems as if he has lost interest in me sexually. And on the rare occasions that we have sex, the zing is completely gone. It seems like a chore more than anything else.

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Maybe the spark has genuinely gone out of your relationship. Sexual chemistry is hard to maintain but if despite your efforts, he shows no interest it could mean two extremes – a physical issue or an affair. Men who cheat generally find it difficult to get intimate with their partners. You will have to tread this one carefully.

9.  I have a gut feeling he’s cheating

Are you saying: Why does he not answer some calls in front of me? Isn’t it one of the telling signs he’s cheating on his phone? Why does he become defensive when I ask him questions? Why does he seem uneasy on certain occasions? Why does he dodge questions about his movements and schedules? There are no sure-shot signs but I have strong instincts and I think I am being cheated upon. I have a gut feeling he’s cheating but no proof, what should I do?

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: You shouldn’t entirely ignore your gut feeling, says Mark Rosenfeld. “Your gut is all about that niggling feeling you can’t get rid of. But you must get an answer without messing with your relationship.” One suggestion he gives is to write down every single behavior that makes you doubtful. “If the list grows long and more suspicious, only then take action,” he says.

Related Reading: 12 Reasons Why Men Have Extramarital Affairs

10. We have been having too many arguments

Are you saying: We are arguing too much these days. The smallest disagreements snowball into massive relationship arguments. In a fit of anger, he has even suggested that he is unhappy in the relationship. What’s worse, it is always me who has to make up after a fight. It appears he has no interest in patching up. Is it because he has already found someone else? Why would he ignore me?

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: Arguing or fighting, as such, is not a sign that he has moved on but if he loses interest in you because he is interested in someone else, there won’t be much effort on his part to patch up after a fight. Observe his behavior and attitude after a fight. Does he look hurt and angry or just uncaring? If it’s the latter, it’s probably because he might have a shoulder to lean on.

11. He has cheated before

Are you saying: It has happened before too. I caught him red-handed but he promised to mend his ways and we got back together. However, I am unable to shake off the feeling that it might happen again. I know why am I so paranoid about my boyfriend cheating on me – because there is evidence to suggest that he is capable of it. What if he is cheating on me behind my back? What is the guarantee I won’t be able to prevent it?

So… is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Our view: If you have been betrayed before, it is difficult to rebuild trust in the relationship. The cracks will always show up and the small signs that you would have otherwise ignored would come to haunt you. There is no guarantee he will stay loyal but there is no surety that he will go down that path again. Work from your trust and not your fears. Always keep communicating to prevent a relapse.

What To Do If It Is Paranoia?

Fear of being betrayed is very real but you should stop feeding that monster and stop worrying about whether he’ll cheat or not, unless and until you actually have proof. To handle it, first, you need to work on your own self-esteem and self-worth.

Living with constant paranoia about being cheated on and constantly grappling with insecurities about the future of your relationship can take its toll. “Why am I so paranoid of being cheated on?” “Why do I keep thinking about my partner cheating?” If you’re struggling to work through these troubling emotions and want to get to the root of these triggers, seeking counseling can be immensely beneficial.

You may be suffering from abandonment issues, or low self-worth. What is causing it? And how to stop thinking your partner is cheating on you when there is nothing out of the ordinary? You need a professional who can work with you and reach the root of your issues, which very often are childhood traumas and buried grief.

You do not deserve to be with anyone who makes you feel constantly on the edge but you are not helping your cause by being needlessly paranoid. Being wary, being on the guard is good but jumping on assumptions, always looking for ‘evidence’ (which may or may not exist) will cause you more harm than good. Work on the fundamentals of your relationship and then decide what you want to do if your partner is indeed cheating on you. Make this about you, not him, or her.

What To Do If Your Partner Is Cheating

Like we just said, “Make this about you!” If you have just found out your partner has been cheating on you, a lot may probably change in your relationship, your life, your perspective toward things like independence, trust, love and happiness. You must ready yourself and do the following:

• Allow yourself the shock: You are going to be shocked when you first realize that your obsessive thoughts about spouse cheating were not invalid. Allow yourself time and space to feel all the emotions that are going to surface in you. Shock, anger, pain
• Reach out to a friend/family member: You do not want to be alone with your emotions for a long time. If there is anyone you trust to hold your hand, reach out to them and tell them what you are going through. Seek their support
• Get tested for STIs: Even without your wish your monogamous two way sexual relationship has crossed its threshold into the unknown. It is always better to be safe than sorry. Get yourself tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Infections, especially if you had been fluid bonding with your partner
• Give your partner the chance to explain: Allow your partner the chance to explain before reaching major decisions. Their response might change the course of your relationship for the better. If not anything, it will allow you to ask questions, receive answers, and have a closure
• Evaluate your options: A lot of marriages and relationships successfully survive infidelity. A break up is not the only option. Your current reality, your needs, the health status of the relationship before the crisis, the background to the crisis, the commitment to making amends your partner is showing, there surely is a lot to weigh in such a scenario. Take your time to evaluate your options
• Seek professional help: A separation counselor and/or a grief counselor will provide you with the perspective, guidance and hand-holding you need at such a crucial time

By now, you have either felt relief that you might only be suffering from cheating paranoia and your partner still loves you. Or you could have found out that there is valid reason behind your suspicion. No matter where you stand, professional help can be of immense help to you to deal with your paranoia which often reoccurs and can destroy relationships. It will also be helpful to deal with the uncertainty and grief a cheating partner brings.

You can reach out to licensed and experienced therapists on Bonobology’s panel from the comfort of your home. Help is only a click away.

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Introduce the topic of artificial turf and its many benefits

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Discuss the top 4 design trends for artificial turf – modern, natural, eco-friendly, and versatile

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Give examples of how each trend can be used in both interior and exterior spaces

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Provide tips on how to choose the right type of artificial turf for your home or business

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