Category: Dating & Love

In the 2014 thriller Gone Girl, a seemingly perfect marriage falls apart after the wife goes missing and the husband becomes the prime suspect in her disappearance. As things unravel, viewers get a ringside view of how manipulation in relationships works – a critical aspect that can make or break a romantic partnership.

Manipulative behaviors come in many forms – some so subtle you’d probably be surprised if someone calls them out. In fact, one of the hallmarks of master manipulators is that you never see them coming. So, how can we recognize manipulation tactics in relationships? To get some answers, we got in touch with counseling psychologist Kavita Panyam (Masters in Psychology and international affiliate with the American Psychological Association), who has been helping couples work through their relationship issues for over two decades.

What Is Manipulative Behavior In A Relationship?

According to researchers, we all try to influence outcomes or behaviors, either consciously or unconsciously, in our daily lives. However, harmful manipulation is designed to intentionally create a power imbalance so that one romantic partner can wrest control and get what they want at all times and at all costs.   

“Anger, impulsive behavior, and gaslighting are some of the manipulation techniques in relationships,” says Kavita. Other forms of common manipulation tactics in relationships include: 

• Love bombing 
• Emotional blackmail 
• Mind games 
• Mental distortion 
• Passive-aggressive behavior 
• Covert or overt threats (like when a partner threatens to self-harm or hurt you or the people around you) 
• Verbal abuse 
• Physical abuse

Manipulators are relentless in their pursuit of control and will use you against yourself if it means they can string you like a puppet and make you dance to their tune. If, at all, you manage to confront them about it, they will neatly turn the tables on you. “They attack the victim’s insecurities and self-esteem. This happens to such an extent that the victim starts to believe something is wrong with them,” Kavita adds.

Related Reading: Mind Games In Relationships — What They Look Like And Why People Do It

Why do people manipulate?

There are many underlying factors as to why people manipulate their partners. Maybe they want to protect their ego and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Perhaps they struggle with communicating their wants directly and honestly. They may have an insecure attachment style or suffer from mental health conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder. Or they may come from a dysfunctional family where they had to resort to or were exposed to manipulative tactics.

11 Subtle Signs Of Manipulation In Relationships

While manipulation can happen in any interpersonal interaction, it is seen more often in very close relationships, like romantic or family relationships. You can imagine how subtly it can manifest in romantic relationships, right? Your partner may use manipulation tactics so cleverly that you may not even realize it at first. And as long as you bend to their will, the relationship will seem perfect.  

So, how to tell whether your relationship comes with controlling strings attached? Here are 11 typical but subtle manipulation signs:

1. You constantly feel pressured to do their bidding

“Manipulators have a ‘my way or the highway’ approach to life and relationships. Financially, emotionally, or spiritually, they know how to get things done,” says Kavita. In other words, they are bullies who will use every means available for personal gain or to pressure others into doing what they want, no matter how unreasonable. According to one study, they won’t hesitate to use guilt trips to attack and get you to change even the most trivial behaviors or habits. 

Often, manipulators use statements loaded with subtext to force their partner’s hand. Instead of simply saying, “I wish you would call more often when you travel,” they may add:

• You’d do this if you really cared for me
• Why do I even have to ask? Can’t you see how much I worry about you? 
• Can’t you do this much for me?

If you constantly feel saying no to your partner’s requests is not really an option, know that it’s an unhealthy sign.

2. They make all the decisions in the relationship

Manipulators are focused on getting their own needs met and use every trick in the book to make that happen. One way they do this is by taking away your choice, whether in small decisions or big, and cutting off your support systems, whether emotional or financial. In fact, this is one of the common forms of manipulative behaviors in relationships.

From what you eat for breakfast to what you order for takeout, where you go on a holiday and who you spend time with – if your decisions are dictated by what your partner wants, it could be a potential red flag. Controlling partners are also not above financial manipulation in relationships, like: 

• Taking charge of all financial decisions and resources
• Limiting or monitoring your access to finances 
• Dictating how you spend your money

If you sense any of this is happening, then it’s time to think things over. A healthy relationship involves both partners making decisions together, not for each other. 

Related Reading: 11 Signs Your Husband Uses You Financially

3. They indulge in cyclical bad behavior

According to Kavita, there is often a clear pattern to many behaviors that manipulative people show. In fact, they tend to use the same tactics over and over again to wear another person down and influence how they think, feel, or behave. 

For example, during a fight, they may cut you off emotionally and then distance physically. Or they may lash out angrily or mope around till you give in. In this way, they subtly pass on the burden of guilt to you. Once you apologize, things may get back on track – only for the cycle to repeat as soon as the next argument or disagreement crops up. 

Eventually, you may begin to walk on eggshells around them, or you may start steering clear of certain topics when you’re with them. To avoid conflict, you may try and second-guess their reaction by constantly asking yourself:

• What would they think or do if I…? 
• Would they be okay with this?  

4. They withhold sex or affection

One of the most common examples of manipulation techniques in relationships is withholding sex or affection as punishment or blackmail. Couples often fight and make up later in bed. However, manipulators deliberately deny sex or dismiss displays of affection – and they don’t relent until you give in to their demands. Even when they do, they make it seem like a favor. This is a passive-aggressive tactic used to force an outcome and ultimately breeds resentment in a relationship. 

5. They blame you for things gone wrong

Manipulators will rarely accept responsibility for any relationship problems you may have. Rather, they will blame you for everything that is wrong in the relationship and in their life.

• They may gaslight, that is, undermine and invalidate your concerns and experiences (“You are imagining things” or “I never said that” or “You are reading too much into things”) till you begin to question your own reality or your mental health
• They may involve other people in their scheme to sow self-doubt and confusion in your mind

As far as they are concerned, anything that goes wrong will always be your fault. They won’t kowtow to any logic or reason, and claim ignorance even if there is evidence pointing otherwise. 

Related Reading: 25 Gaslighting Phrases In Relationships That Kill Love

6. They prey on your emotions

A relationship with a manipulator often involves some level of emotional abuse. One of the classic examples of this is the silent treatment, which involves the following: 

• Your partner puts on a ‘stone face’ after a fight or disagreement
• They answer in monosyllables to your attempts at conversation 
• They say “I am fine” though their behavior suggests otherwise 

“Sulking, going silent, stonewalling conversation – these are all ways to emotionally manipulate you,” says Kavita. Manipulators are also skilled at using dramatic statements to play on your emotions: 

• Instead of: Could you pick me up after work? 
• They may say: Pick me up after work. And don’t say you can’t if you truly care about me
• And if you end up running late: I knew this would happen. I’m always last on your list anyway

Emotionally manipulating someone is just as bad as physically abusing them. If it goes on long enough, it can crush your confidence or cause you to develop a negative self-image – things no one should ever have to feel in a relationship.

7. They clip your wings in the garb of concern

Often, people manipulate others because they are highly insecure themselves. Therein stems their overarching need to control everything and everyone around them. They tend to regard any growth or stab at independence or autonomy on your part as a threat to this control. 

“They simply don’t want to see you move ahead in life,” says Kavita. Though they are careful not to let you see that. Whether it’s getting a job, returning to work, taking up a hobby, or simply trying something new, manipulators will discourage you or make you question your decisions by dishing out ‘advice’ or painting worst-case scenarios. All in the name of ‘concern’ for you.

8. They are ‘good’ when they have an agenda

Manipulators don’t go around spouting evil in a red cape and pointy horns. They are often charm personified and may come across as overly sincere. You may even say they seem too good to be true. Initially, their love bombing may make you feel like you mean the world to them. But that’s – almost always – not true.

As Nietzsche says: “There are no beautiful surfaces without a terrible depth.” A manipulative person’s behavior almost never matches their words. And there is always a hidden agenda behind whatever they do. Many of their ‘good’ behaviors are designed to: 

• Make it real hard for you to say no to their requests 
• Pulverize your boundaries 

In fact, they count on short-circuiting your ability to establish clear boundaries so they can take control of your decisions and your life. Have a gut feeling something isn’t quite right? Or a persistent thought you always end up doing things you don’t really want? Have you been feeling confused or guilty around them and can’t understand why? Then it’s time to trust your gut instincts and take stock of your relationship.

Related Reading: 10 Must-Follow Healthy Relationship Boundaries

9. They play the love card to get out of accountability

Do manipulators have feelings for you? Not really. But they will keep telling you and reminding you that they do. Especially if they want to sidestep a discussion, no matter how important it is to you. Don’t be surprised if your demand for an explanation for something they’ve actually done is answered with: 

• How can you be so brutal when I love you so much? 
• This shows you don’t value my feelings
• If you really loved me like I love you, you would have understood…

If these lines get thrown at you way too often, know that you are being emotionally manipulated into giving them an out. After all, manipulators are masters of emotional exploitation who will lose no chance to put the onus on you to prove your love for them time and again.

10. They keep calm to put you down

When we talk about signs of a manipulative boyfriend or girlfriend, relentless drama, blaming language, and over-the-top reactions are what normally come to mind. However, your manipulative boo may just as easily be someone who’s always calm, cool, and outwardly collected.

These may even be qualities you will admire – till they use their unflappable cool against you to make you look over-dramatic in a situation that, perhaps, warrants your angry reaction. Instead, you’ll end up looking silly, immature, too sensitive, and over-emotional. And the person manipulating you will come off as the mature party that knows how to behave like an adult.

11. They make you feel small

Offering constant comparisons or criticisms, which cause you to feel inadequate or worthless in front of others or in your own eyes, is a form of passive aggression. Whether the comparisons come couched as ‘humor,’ ridicule, or something else, the objective is to: 

• Make you feel bad about yourself or somehow lacking 
• Make you think your partner is too good for you
• Make sure you never grow larger in stature than them 

It could also be a tactic to breed insecurity, put psychological pressure, or shame you into doing what they want. If this is becoming a theme, know that manipulators will always have an endless supply of hoops for you to jump through. And they will keep them coming no matter what you do.

Related Reading: How To Deal With A Partner Who Makes You Feel Insecure

How To Respond To Manipulative Behavior 

Psychological, emotional, or financial manipulation in relationships exacts a high toll on the people it is targeted at. It can harm your mental health, chip away at your self-confidence, erode your emotional well-being, and cause you to experience low self-esteem, or even, depression. So it’s best to protect yourself. 

If you are experiencing manipulation, here are some ideas on how to respond: 

• Acknowledge manipulation for what it is: Try not to minimize or brush it off. Making excuses for bad behavior, like thinking they don’t mean harm or are going through a tough phase, will only enable them further and let them off the hook       
• Establish boundaries: And enforce them. Decide which behaviors you will and won’t tolerate. Let your partner know where your limits are. And set consequences if they continue to breach them
• Take charge of the conversation: Manipulators are experts at hijacking conversations by using your emotions against you and distracting you from the real issue. Be prepared to spot emotional manipulation and don’t let them get away with it
• Be compassionate with yourself: Don’t internalize the blame and the guilt. Remember, only you can decide how you feel about yourself  
• Get help: If you’re feeling depressed or stuck and can’t find an out, Bonobology’s panel of licensed and skilled therapists is only a click away

Staying in toxic or unhealthy relationships is never a good idea. And manipulation is both toxic and unhealthy. At times, it can even be a precursor to more serious forms of abuse. If you think boundaries are being crossed, you’re not being respected and valued in the relationship, and it is taking a toll on you, know that it’s your cue to walk away. After all, as author Ken Poirot says, true love is built on free will and free choice. Not invisible strings of manipulation and spiderwebs of control. 

This article was updated in July 2023.

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After her breakup, Meghan felt that strange things were happening to her on Instagram. Some of her friends were sending her indirect posts hinting at her and the breakup. Little did Meghan know about the dangers of a cyberstalker. Then one day, someone started texting her on Instagram about a few things that only Megan’s ex-boyfriend knew about her and the relationship.

This anonymous account would often share her whereabouts with her and react to her stories as soon as she shared anything. Then out of the blue, her boyfriend started appearing wherever she went – be it at the supermarket, a party, or a meeting. Confused and alarmed, Meghan started wondering if these were signs a cyberstalker likes her and how she could protect herself.

If you’re facing something along these lines or want to be aware of how to tackle such a situation, you’re in the right place. We are here to decode all you need to know about cyberstalking, in conversation with cyber security expert Dr. Kaushal Bhavsar (Ph.D. in Computer Science).

What Is A Cyberstalker?

What is cyberstalking? What is a cyberstalker? Dr. Bhavsar gives us a scenario, “It has been a long day for you. You finally crushed your work goals and are on your way home. On the way, you stop for a quick bite. While making the payment, your shoulder accidentally brushes against someone. You look at them, apologize quickly, and move on.”

“But as you walk ahead, you feel someone is following you. After carefully filtering the sound of footsteps from your hearing spectrum, you are sure – someone IS following you. You turn around and take a quick look. You are on a lonely road in the middle of the night, and they get all the attention they need. You are being stalked.”

Do you think this sounds familiar? Dr. Bhavsar explains, “The chances of this being real are rare because the situation is too tricky for a stalker in the physical world. However, in the cyber world, it is quite the opposite. If you have been active over the internet, you have probably been stalked online, even if you think otherwise.” In fact, online stalking is more common than we think. The Bureau of Justice estimates that over 3.8 million Americans over 16 years have had to deal with a stalker. Today, as stalking someone online is easier than ever, let us first answer the question – who is a cyberstalker?

Dr. Bhavsar says, “Stalking someone is an attention-seeking behavior to establish communication or intimidate a specific individual. Now, what is cyberstalking? A cyberstalker uses the internet or other electronic means to harass or threaten another person repeatedly. They might send unwanted messages, watch their online activities, or spread rumors about them. Cyber harassment is a serious crime that can devastate the victim’s mental and emotional well-being.”

Related Reading: 12 Signs That You Are Dating A Stalker And Need To Break Up

9 Worrying Signs A Cyberstalker Likes You

Let me tell you the good news first. You do not have to be a tech wizard to understand if you are being cyberstalked. Sometimes, human intuition itself is enough to let you know. Besides, cyberstalkers have some set patterns that can make it easier for you to spot and flag suspicious behavior. Keeping these patterns in mind, let us decode 9 worrying signs a cyberstalker likes you:

1. Monitoring online activity

Is someone monitoring your online activity every day? Dr. Bhavsar warns, “What do stalkers want from their victims? Some stalkers develop an unhealthy fixation with their potential victim, often believing they have a special connection or are destined to be together. They may want the potential victim to give them attention, affection, or even love, regardless of the victim’s feelings.

“Cyberstalkers may follow your social media accounts, track your online interactions, and obsessively check for updates. For example, you might notice that a stranger likes, comments, or shares almost every post you make on social media platforms.” When a cyberstalker likes you, they show such signs of obsession and develop a habit of constantly tracking you online.

2. Sending unwanted messages

Cyberstalkers take to unwanted private messages like fish to water. Dr. Bhavsar says, “A cyberstalker may repeatedly send unwanted private texts, threatening emails, or chat room messages to you, even after being asked to stop. For example, you might receive daily direct messages from someone you don’t know, saying they admire you or want to see you in person for a first date after meeting online.”

3. Pretending to be you

Do you know what catfishing means? It is a method of online stalking where someone pretends to be a different person and creates a fake social media account to stalk you. There are many tips to save yourself from catfishing. Now, in some cases, a stalker may pretend to be you and send friend requests to your acquaintances. If a cyberstalker likes you, they may pose as you and send hurtful text messages to your partner and people who are romantically interested in you.

Related Reading: 13 Warning Signs Of Being Obsessed With Someone

4. Unsolicited personal information

Has someone over the internet randomly shared your own address with you? Or other personal details – the year you graduated, the occupation of your spouse, or which train you take to work? And has that left you unsettled and a little scared? Dr. Bhavsar says that this is a classic sign a cyberstalker likes you.

He explains, “A cyberstalker may send personal information about you that they have obtained through online research. This is to get a stronghold on your mind and get away with manipulation in relationships. When a person receives a message from a stranger who knows their home address, workplace, or other sensitive information about them, it is bound to leave them riled up.” This is a typical powerplay aimed at making cyberstalking victims feel vulnerable, cornered, and scared, in the hope that they will relent and give in.

5. Ordering products for you

A cyberstalker who likes you may wish to impress you or control you. To that end, they may track your online purchases and send you anonymous gifts. They may also order embarrassing items or subscribe to magazines using your credentials. These items can be delivered to your workplace if the cyberstalker wants to humiliate you. This is a clear sign you are being cyberstalked.

6. Cyberbullying and online harassment

According to the Pew Research Center, 41% of Americans have been harassed by a cyberstalker, and an even larger number (66%) have witnessed online harassment directed at other victims. Some stalkers may be motivated by a desire for vengeance or to express anger toward their target, especially if they feel wronged, rejected, or humiliated. They may be jealous, possessive and controlling. They may want to cause emotional distress or harm their target in retaliation. Cyber harassment in such cases includes:

• Defamation
• Exposing intimate pictures
• Hacking profiles
• Identity theft
• Financial loss

Dr. Bhavsar says, “A cyberstalker may engage in targeted harassment, such as posting offensive comments, spreading rumors, or even sharing explicit content to embarrass or distress you. For example, you might find out that someone has been spreading false rumors about you on a public forum, or has shared a private photo without your consent.”

7. Repeated attempts at establishing contact

Some stalkers may engage in stalking behavior out of boredom or as a form of thrill-seeking. They may enjoy the challenge of tracking and monitoring their target or the adrenaline rush from evading detection. This leads them to contact their target repeatedly.

Dr. Bhavsar says, “A cyberstalker may continually attempt to contact you and send you friend requests, even after being blocked or ignored. For example, you might block an unwanted follower on social media platforms only to find that the same person keeps creating new accounts and sending new friend requests or messages.”

Related Reading: 11 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

8. Texting through fake accounts

You know those social media accounts with two followers, blank profile photos, and a recent set-up date. Dr. Bhavsar says, “A cyberstalker may create multiple fake profiles to engage with their target or monitor their online activity without being detected. In such a case, you might receive a friend request from a profile that uses a different name and photo but seems strangely familiar, with similar interests and mutual friends.”

When a cyberstalker likes you, one of the first things that they do is create a fake account to reach out to you. These are the dangers of online dating. Your best bet at protecting yourself is not to engage with accounts that are completely anonymous or seem sketchy at first.

9. GPS tracking

Imagine you just posted a vacation selfie on Instagram with your friends. You have mentioned the location and tagged the resort where you’re staying. The next morning, someone you know shows up suddenly and greets you. You’re naturally surprised at this encounter, and you ask, “What are you doing here?” Their answer doesn’t quite add up. You know something is fishy.

The truth is, cyberstalking may often turn into physical stalking if the perpetrator likes you. You may find this person everywhere you go. They may also keep track of your location through the GPS on your smartphone. They may plant devices in your car or handbag that track your location without your knowledge.

9 Tips To Protect Yourself From A Cyberstalker

I am being cyberstalked, what can I do? How do I protect myself from cyberstalkers? I left my emotionally abusive relationship and now my ex is stalking me online. My intimate partner is harassing me online through repeated text messages. How to stay safe from cyberstalkers? How can I prevent cyberstalking? If you believe someone is stalking you online, questions like these are bound to give you sleepless nights. While it is a concerning situation to be in, you can find your way out of it. Take the following steps to protect yourself from a stalker:

1. Document everything

A Reddit user shares, “Always screenshot and document all cases of harassment. Keep this in a folder on your computer in addition to an external USB or hard drive. You can print it out as well. In addition to reporting everything that is an issue to the website’s reporting function, document that you reported the instance. This will enable you to save evidence of the issues if things escalate. For both the police and the websites that are causing issues. Websites are allowed to give away personal info if there is a warrant.”

Therefore, save any messages, emails, screenshots, or other sources of evidence that you’re being stalked online. Try to keep a record of the following:

• The dates and times when the stalker reached out to you
• How frequently they talk to you
• The location of the stalker (if you know) and your own location
• Contents of any threatening emails or descriptions of abusive behavior
• A detailed history of how the stalker has come to know you
• Any other relevant details of the stalking behavior

2. Privacy and password settings

Does a cyberstalker like you? Are you feeling unsafe due to online stalking? Dr. Bhavsar suggests, “Adjust your social media and online accounts’ privacy settings for the time being. This will limit the visibility of your posts and personal information to only trusted friends and family members.”

Apart from this, password protection is crucial. Update your passwords to prevent cyberstalking. Do not keep your last name or your pet dog’s name as your password. Use strong, unique passwords for each online account and enable two-factor authentication whenever possible. This helps protect your accounts from being hacked or accessed by unauthorized users.

3. Be cautious with personal information

Avoid sharing sensitive information like your email address, cell phone number, or workplace address online. Be mindful of the details you reveal in public forums or social media. Be wary of strangers who approach you online, especially if they seem overly interested in your personal life or if their profile appears suspicious. They may be a cyberstalker who likes you. So watch out for the reg flags. Under no circumstance should you share your personal information with such fishy accounts or strangers online.

4. Block and report

Communicate to the stalker that their behavior is unwelcome and that you want no further contact. Do this only once and avoid engaging in any other communication. After this, should you block your cyber stalker if the problem persists?

Dr. Bhavsar says, “If someone is making you uncomfortable, do not hesitate to block and report them. Most social media platforms have tools for reporting harassment or unwanted contact. Block the stalker on social media, email, and cell phone. Report any threatening or harassing behavior to the relevant platform, as well as to law enforcement.”

Related Reading: How To Get Someone To Stop Texting You Without Being Rude

5. Be aware of phishing attempts

Imagine you have been talking to a stranger who texts you all the time. One day, a carefully worded email was sent to you with the link to a popular website that you visit often. When you click on that link, it takes you to a fake website that looked exactly like that popular website. You’re instructed to update your account information or verify your account details. And guess what? In the blink of an eye, you have been robbed of every single penny in your bank account.

“Be cautious when clicking links or opening attachments in emails, especially if the sender is unknown or the message seems suspicious. Cyberstalkers may use phishing techniques to gain access to your personal information,” warns Dr. Bhavsar. Phishing is often successful because it depends on the human tendency to trust others. You may often assume the password update is legitimate. You may quickly open the link that your stalker has sent to you over text. This can cause major harm, and therefore, it is always advisable to be careful about these things.

6. Trust your instincts

As we mentioned earlier in this article, you do not need to know everything about technology to understand cyberstalking. In most cases, your instincts will tell you that you are being stalked online.

Dr. Bhavsar explains, “If something serious in your relationship feels off or you suspect someone might be stalking you online, take action to protect yourself and seek help from friends, family, or law enforcement if necessary. If you feel unsafe or believe the situation could escalate, take necessary precautions and seek help from law enforcement or other support networks.” Most importantly, believe your gut feeling that says you are unsafe and do not ignore the gravity of the situation.

Related Reading: 6 reasons why you should go with gut feel while choosing your partner

7. Inform others

Let the people in your inner circle know that someone is stalking you online. Make your loved ones aware of your safety plan. Cyberstalking can create a lot of stress and confusion, and you do not have to deal with this alone. “So if you’re comfortable, tell your friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors about the situation. They can look out for you, offer emotional support, and help you stay safe,” Dr. Bhavsar recommends.

Johny (28), an engineer from NYC, shares with us, “I went on a few Tinder dates with a girl and I could sense something was off. She was really enthusiastic, which is great, but then it turned into intense curiosity and obsession. I told her I wasn’t interested and backed off. Suddenly, she was cyber harassing me, messaging me from multiple fake social media accounts, and trying to get information about my whereabouts. The wisest thing I did at that moment was, I shared my situation with a few close friends. They helped me take necessary action and ensure my safety.”

8. Enhance physical security

The Department of Justice reported in 2022, “A California man was arrested yesterday and will make his initial appearance in federal court today to face charges that he cyberstalked multiple young women in California in a “sextortion” campaign. Johao Miguel Chavarri, 25, aka Michael Frito, of Oceanside and Torrance, was arrested yesterday in Oceanside, where he is stationed as an active-duty member of the U.S. Marine Corps.”

“According to the criminal complaint, from 2019 through 2021, Chavarri, using the online persona “Michael Frito”, created and used numerous online accounts to repeatedly stalk, harass, and threaten women who would not give in to his demands that, among other things, they send him nude, sexually explicit, or otherwise compromising photos and videos of themselves. This type of conduct is commonly referred to as sextortion. According to the complaint, in some cases, his cyberstalking, threats, and sextortion demands continued for over a year.”

When a cyber stalker is emotionally manipulating you or disturbing you online, do not forget to establish a safety plan for your physical security as well. Be vigilant about your surroundings and change your routines to make it more difficult for the stalker to track you. Take precautions to secure your home and workplace by:

• Installing security cameras
• Not sharing your geolocation settings
• Changing locks
• Using an entrance security system

9. Consult with law enforcement

The FBI states, “Malicious cyber activity threatens the public’s safety and our national and economic security. The FBI’s cyber strategy is to impose risk and consequences on cyber adversaries. Our goal is to change the behavior of criminals and nation-states who believe they can compromise U.S. networks, steal financial and intellectual property, and put critical infrastructure at risk without facing risk themselves.”

“To do this, we use our unique mix of authorities, capabilities, and partnerships to impose consequences against our cyber adversaries. The FBI is the lead federal agency for investigating cyber attacks and intrusions. We collect and share intelligence and engage with victims while working to unmask those committing malicious cyber activities, wherever they are.”

In case of an emergency, you can call 911 or reach out to the local authorities. Remember that your safety and well-being are the top priorities, and you have the right to take necessary actions to protect yourself.

Dr. Bhavsar says, “Report cyberstalking to your local law enforcement agency, providing them with the documentation you have collected. They can advise you on the best action and help monitor the situation. Research cyberstalking laws. Moreover, in such a serious situation, consider speaking to a mental health professional or joining a support group for stalking victims. They can provide valuable guidance, support, and coping strategies.”

Starting from our latest grocery list to our most important financial details, the internet has everything nowadays. Therefore, when a cyberstalker likes you, it is natural to feel alarmed. However, you do not have to be scared or deal with this situation all alone. Talk to a therapist and let your friends know what you’re going through. Make your social media accounts as safe as possible and contact local authorities if necessary. You deserve a safe online experience and a peaceful night’s rest. Therefore, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

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Picture this: you’re in a relationship, head over heels for your partner, and everything seems dreamy. But amidst the lovey-dovey moments, something plays a major role in keeping the flame burning bright – a healthy dose of self-love. If you are wondering how to love yourself in a relationship, you’ve come to the right place.

You see, self-love is like that secret ingredient that takes your relationship to a whole new level. It’s not just focusing on physical fitness or doing superficial things to please yourself. It’s not about being selfish or narcissistic; it’s about nurturing your own needs, well-being, and happiness, alongside the love you share with your partner. By embracing self-love, you’re empowering yourself to be the best version of yourself, which in turn has a positive impact externally and enhances the quality of your relationship.

21 Self-Love Tips When You’re In A Relationship

A study in Personality and Individual Differences reports, “There is a popular belief that ‘people need to love themselves before they will be capable of loving someone else.’ Consistent with this basic idea, there is a body of research demonstrating that individuals with high levels of self-esteem report more positive evaluations of their romantic relationships than individuals with low self-esteem in a relationship. Thus, there is at least some support for the notion that people who love themselves may have happier relationships than those who do not have such positive attitudes about themselves.”

Interestingly, in capitalism and pop culture, self-love has often meant bubble baths, spa treatments, and retail therapy. Sure, these steps might make you feel good, but they can’t replace inner peace, contentment, and courage to live life on your own terms. Here are some ‘real’ tips that will teach you how to love yourself first: 

1. Take charge on loving yourself first in a relationship

Are you waiting for your partner to save you? Are you expecting your relationship to fix all the problems in your life? Instead of waiting for your romantic partner to rescue you or make you feel better all the time, take responsibility for your own happiness. Practice self-love daily and watch the magic unfold. And while you take charge, be patient with yourself.

Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Figure Out What Do You Want In A Relationship

2. Say goodbye to those sneaky limiting beliefs

Alright, we’re about to dive into the deep end of your mind – the land of limiting beliefs. You know, those pesky thoughts that whisper, “You’re not good enough for your boyfriend” or “You’re not worthy of love and healthy relationships.” Well, it’s time to shine a spotlight on those little troublemakers. Be aware of that negative self-talk and let these limiting beliefs float away. Reassure yourself like the rockstar that you are!

3. Mirror talk can teach you how to love yourself in a relationship 

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most loved of them all? Grab a mirror, look deep into your own eyes, and repeat, “I love myself” or “I love you.” Sounds a bit silly? Maybe. But trust me, this simple act can work wonders. It’s like having a heart-to-heart with your own self. So go ahead, give yourself some mirror talk and get cozy with the most important person in your life – you.

4. Embrace failures and rise again 

Life is a wild ride. Sometimes you stumble, you fall, and you face good ol’ failure. And that’s part of being human. Failures, past breakups, romantic rejections – all these are stepping stones on the path to love and light. And none of it implies that you’re inadequate or lazy. So, don’t let heartbreaks knock you down. Rise up and dust yourself off. Remember, a successful relationship comes from learning and growing. Embrace the journey, one step at a time.

5. Eat like a self-love champion

Wondering how to love yourself and be confident in a relationship? When it comes to self-love in relationships, it’s time to treat your body with kindness and self-care. So, pay attention to what you put on your plate. Nourish yourself with delicious, healthy goodness. Follow these tips: 

• Try to skip the emotional eating binges, my friend. But if you’ve been eating a lot of junk food lately, try to get to the root cause and address your mental health needs
• Try to eat healthy and filling dishes when you’re on a date with your partner. You can even end the date with a visit to the park and chill with a glass of lemonade together
• Show your body some serious love by feeding it with nourishing food and drinks on time (yes, avoid skipping meals). Trust me, when you treat your body right, it’ll thank you with a radiant glow and an extra boost of self-love
• Do not give into fatphobic ideas of beauty standards. You’re perfect the way you are and you deserve to eat good food every day

6. Take extra care of yourself when you feel overwhelmed

If you’re trying to learn to love yourself in a relationship even during a marriage conflict, that’s a worthy pursuit. Many rom-coms promote the idea that retail therapy can fix everything, but in real life, taking care of your emotional state during an overwhelming period is crucial.

• When things get overwhelming with your partner, breathe deeply and cut yourself some slack
• Don’t blame yourself for feeling a little lost in your love life
• Take some space, get out there, move that body, go for a refreshing walk, and soak up some fresh air
• Don’t forget to reach out to friends or family members who can sprinkle some love and cheer on your journey
• If all else fails, make yourself a cup of soothing green tea and remind yourself that this too shall pass
• You can even reach out to a relationship therapist to smooth things over
• Instead of having a poor sense of self that makes you feel guilty, or focusing only on your physical state post-conflict, dive deeper and point out all the things that make you feel bad or overwhelmed
• A simple activity that feels good to you can really change the game, for instance, reading a good book
• Another way of dealing with this is through time management – organizing your daily tasks and taking time to focus on your emotional needs

Related Reading: The Role Of Self-Esteem In Relationships – Take This Test To Assess Yours Today!

7. End toxic relationships

If your relationship is a constant source of stress, self-love turns into a difficult journey. If your partner leaves you feeling exhausted and depressed all the time, it’s time to wave goodbye to your toxic relationship. Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who make you feel amazing.

Don’t base your self-respect or self-worth on your partner’s opinion of you. Learn how to love yourself more than your boyfriend or girlfriend without relying on anyone else’s validation. Embrace your incredible uniqueness and let go of anything or anyone that doesn’t contribute positively to your self-love journey.

8. Take care of your mind

Ah, the mind – the tricky little devil that it can be! It sometimes plays tricks on you, making you believe the worst about yourself and your situation. Being self-aware and working on self-acceptance is crucial because you truly deserve happiness. Nurturing your mind is an essential part of your self-love journey, especially if you’re facing individual or relationship challenges. Here are few tips to help you take care of that precious mind of yours:

• Indulge in some alone time in nature
• Practice deep breathing exercises to calm those racing thoughts
• Put daily conscious efforts to practice self-care for your emotional health and get in touch with your emotions
• Take time to focus on positive things or an activity that makes you feel great about your self-image
• Remind yourself of all your hard work and take some time off. Give your mind the rest it deserves
• Spend time enjoying some hobbies for couples

9. Meditate and breathe

Are you constantly fighting with your partner? Are you questioning your worth in your marriage, or finding it difficult to love yourself more than your boyfriend or girlfriend? Trying to learn to love yourself in a relationship ‘with’ all your flaws, and not despite them? Here’s a solution: Carve out a little slice of heaven in your home where you can bask in the energy of the universe.

Light up scented candles, grab some uplifting books, and play soft, soothing music that speaks to your soul. Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditate. Trust me, it’s a rewarding act of self-love that brings serenity and balance to your relationship and your whole being.

10. Step out of your comfort zone

Some people say, “To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” Want to skyrocket such self-love? Take on a challenge that will make you feel like a superhero. Step right out of that comfort zone and conquer something you’ve always feared. 

Never tried an adventure sport? Sign up for an adrenaline-pumping expedition. Hate cooking? Put on that apron and explore the kitchen with newfound excitement. Clueless about coding? Enroll in a course and embrace the mystery of programming. And if you feel that your relationship has made you too comfortable and lazy, you can always find some exciting hobbies for couples and try them out with your partner to spice things up. This will help you spend more quality time with your partner and also boost your journey of self-love.

11. Be patient

Self-love is an ongoing journey and it requires a dash of patience. You may have spent a lifetime battling feelings of inadequacy, jumping over obstacles, and trying to meet society’s unrealistic standards. But fret not, my friend. Self-love is a work in progress. 

Treat it like a fabulous workout routine – be disciplined, and be your own cheerleader. Embrace the power of patience and let self-love blossom into something extraordinary. This habit will also help you stay patient in your relationship and connect with your partner on a deeper level. 

12. Treat others well

It is important to assess how you treat yourself and your partner in your relationship. So follow the golden rule – treat others the way you want to be treated. But here’s the twist: treating others well doesn’t mean you neglect yourself. It’s all about finding that magical balance. When you know how to love yourself in a relationship, you naturally radiate kindness and compassion toward your bae and others. So, spread those good vibes and be the shining example of love and respect. 

13. Say “no” when necessary

“No” – a powerful word that can put an end to toxic relationships, soul-sucking jobs, and draw a line with inconsiderate partners, family members, and friends. Don’t be the ultimate people-pleaser who takes on the weight of the world and forgets about their own needs in a relationship. Practice the art of saying no. 

It doesn’t make you a bad partner – it makes you a self-love superhero who knows their worth. Saying “no” to your partner and others when necessary can make intimacy and communication easier and solve a lot of problems.

14. Set and communicate boundaries

Loving yourself first in a relationship means honoring your needs and boundaries. Clearly communicate your boundaries to your partner and ensure they are respected. This could involve discussing your personal space, alone time, emotional needs, or any other aspect that’s important to you. Remember, setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect, and it strengthens your relationship by fostering understanding and mutual respect.

Related Reading: The 7 Types Of Boundaries In Relationships For A Stronger Bond

15. Focus on your pleasure and sexual needs

Sexual fulfillment and pleasure are vital aspects of self-love within a relationship. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your desires, fantasies, and boundaries. Explore new experiences, experiment with different forms of intimacy, and prioritize your sexual well-being. Remember, your pleasure matters and expressing your needs in the bedroom is an act of self-love and faith in your partner.

16. Heal your inner child

Give your inner child a bear hug. Embracing self-love means taking care of those wounds from the past and nurturing yourself back to joy and wholeness. By healing your inner child, you create a solid foundation of self-love that positively impacts your relationship. It paves the way for a deep and meaningful connection with the rest of the world.

17. Focus on gratitude journaling

Take a moment to appreciate all the amazing things in your life. Shift your focus from what you lack to the abundance that surrounds you. Grab that journal and unleash your gratitude power! Write down ten things you’re grateful for every day. Read and re-read them, and let the positive energy wash over you. When you operate from a place of gratitude, the universe showers you with even more blessings.

18. Do not compare

Do you compare yourself with your partner’s exes or anyone else. When you feel jealous in a relationship, try to gauge what hurts inside, what you truly need, and what needs healing. Embracing self-love means accepting yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all. Release the need to compare yourself to others. Remember, you’re writing your own extraordinary story, not trying to fit into someone else’s narrative. So put down that notebook of comparisons, embrace your uniqueness, and rock your self-love journey with confidence.

19. Speak kindly to yourself

Imagine having a personal cheerleader who always lifts you up with words of love and encouragement. Well, guess what? You can be your own cheerleader. When you look in the mirror, celebrate what you have and shower yourself with kind words. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would show to your best friend or your soulmate. Remember, how you talk to yourself sets the tone for how others treat you. So, be your own BFF and speak kindly to yourself first.

Related Reading: 26 Love Yourself Quotes to Build Your Confidence

20. Form friendships outside of the relationship

While your romantic relationship is important, it’s equally important to maintain connections and friendships outside of it. Cultivating relationships with friends allows you to have a support system and a sense of individuality beyond your romantic partnership. Spending time with friends who uplift and inspire you can boost your self-esteem and contribute to your overall happiness. Moreover, having diverse social connections provides different perspectives and experiences that enrich your personal growth and help you love yourself even more.

21. Practice positive affirmations

Want to get rid of negative thoughts and negative emotions? Affirmations for love can be hugely beneficial in such a situation. Keep telling yourself – I am enough, or I am more than enough. Tell yourself this until it is imprinted in your subconscious. There are several affirmation cards available in the market, and you can try them out first thing every morning. Feel the words as you say them out loud, and watch how wonderfully they transform you and your relationship with your special one.

The power to love yourself lies within you, waiting to be unleashed. As you embark on this journey of self-discovery and self-love, get ready for a transformation like no other. Embrace the relationship you’re building with yourself and witness how it radiates into all aspects of your life, including your romantic relationship. Your newfound self-love will become a force that elevates your love life to extraordinary heights. And remember something throughout this incredible journey – you’ve got this!

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As the dating scene gets trickier by the day, it’s no wonder that anxiety can swoop in like an unwelcome third wheel. Butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, and a racing heart – all because you’re about to go on a date. Sounds familiar? If yes, get ready to kick dating anxiety to the curb and embrace a thrilling journey to find your perfect match! 

Wondering how? Well, we’ve got the ultimate guide to help you navigate the twists and turns of dating while keeping your mental well-being intact. With the help of Shambhavi Agrawal (MSc. in counseling psychology), who specializes in anxiety, work-life balance, depression, grief, and life transition issues, let’s give your love life a fresh beginning! 

What Exactly Is Dating Anxiety?

According to a study, app-based online dating culture is directly linked to deteriorating mental health outcomes. More than 28% of users on these apps reported a dip in their self-esteem and extreme fear of dating owing to their bad experiences with online dating. But, what exactly happens when you experience this type of anxiety? Let’s find out.

The nerves, the butterflies, the overthinking – it’s enough to make you want to hide under a blanket fort and never leave. But here’s the thing: extreme anxiety about dating is like a monster under your bed that just won’t quit. It sneaks up on you, leaving you a bundle of nerves before a date. It can even make you bail on dates! Many people have been there – more in number than you can possibly imagine.

For instance, you’ve got a first date coming up, and suddenly your mind becomes a movie director, playing out a thousand different scenarios of how it could go. The anticipation, the uncertainty – it makes you a nervous wreck. From overthinking every move to constantly questioning how the other person feels about us, it’s a recipe for stress. And let’s not forget those bad first-date experiences that can turn us into skeptics, making us question if it’s all worth it. But fear not, my friend, because we’ve got your back. Get ready to learn 12 incredible ways to conquer dating anxiety and take back control of your love life! 

Related Reading: How To Find The One? 13 Tried and Tested Tips

Is first-date anxiety normal?

First-date anxiety? Totally normal! We’ve all been there, feeling like a bundle of nerves ready to explode. A little bit of overthinking before a date occurs every now and then. It’s like a mental obstacle course of “what if’s” that makes us feel a tad anxious about new relationships. We all have those fleeting thoughts like:

• “What if they take one look at me and run for the hills?”
• “What if I say something so dumb that they sprint away?”
• “I don’t know how not to be nervous on a first date and dating gives me anxiety” (on a light note)
• “What if I spill something after meeting new people for the first time?”

Feeling anxious about new relationships is very normal when you start dating. As long as these thoughts don’t take over or make you cancel a date (or worse, double dates) because of anxiety, you’re all good. But for some folks who are afraid of dating, it’s like a full-on battle. They might even swear off dating altogether, even though deep down, they crave a loving long-term relationship. Here’s what a person with first-date anxiety goes through before meeting a potential partner:

• Becoming extremely nervous and restless
• Sweating profusely
• Being jittery and afraid of dating
• Not being able to make eye contact
• Can’t seem to strike a conversation with romantic partners
• Rapid breathing with a pounding heart
• Analyzing what might go wrong on the date

As long as these thoughts don’t overpower you to an extent that you are unable to go through with your plans or stay in control of how you behave, you are good. If it comes down to a point where these apprehensive feelings wreck your romantic life and you experience anxiety about falling in love, perhaps you should take your mental health condition rather seriously.

Related Reading: Transparency In Relationships: Meaning, How To Show & Some Secret Tips

How to calm first-date nerves?

Speaking of what can be done to manage the struggle of first-date nerves, a Reddit user says, “Think of it this way, you’re not going on a date. You’re going to whatever place with this new person with whom you share some similar interests. You want to see what else you have in common to start building a friendship. So, you have no pressure to act any particular way; just be how you are around your friends.” To help you further, here are a few quick-fix techniques to beat the stubborn anxiety about dating:

• Listen to some upbeat music or pamper yourself with a spa treatment before the date
• Perhaps shop a little something or pick a bunch of flowers for your date
• Don’t let the voices in your head take charge and convince you that this date is the worst decision of your life
• Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to impress this person
• Rather go with an open mind hoping to have some fun
• Prepare your cheatsheet of first-date questions to ask so you don’t run out of topics to talk about
• Breathe in, breathe out – try to focus on the present moment. You got this!

5 Signs Of Dating Anxiety

Have you ever thought “dating gives me anxiety” before or after meeting someone? Because you are not alone. The nature of dating these days, especially with dating apps, has made it a harrowing experience for some. So what sets anxiety about dating apart from a normal sense of nervousness? If it is normal to be nervous about dating, and how do you tell when these feelings border on unhealthy? These 5 clear dating anxiety signs hold the answer:

1. You expect your date to be a disaster

One of the unmistakable dating anxiety signs is that you go in expecting the worst. It’s like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of negative feelings, where you anticipate things going wrong and oddly feel validated when they do. If you’re certain of being rejected ahead of every first date, pay attention to your behavior patterns. This mindset can easily lead to self-sabotage and hamper any chance of a real long-term relationship. In such a situation, here are a few thoughts you may have:

• I’m scared to get close but I hate being alone
• I’m scared to go on a date for the first time
• I’m scared to get into a relationship again
• I don’t know how to overcome fear of rejection in dating and thus feel anxious about going out

2. You ditch your dates often

If the mere thought of going on a date or meeting someone new sends you into a tailspin of panic, and you’ve come up with more excuses than you can count to cancel plans, it’s time to take a step back. Try to recollect if you’ve ever bailed on a date with the most random excuses. Or maybe you’ve even stood someone up because you couldn’t bring yourself to go through with it? These are telltale signs that anxiety about dating has got a grip on you.

3. You can’t be yourself

Now, we all want to make a good impression on a first date, but when anxiety is in control, you struggle to be your authentic self. Negative thoughts and low self-esteem dating experiences hold you back from showing the real you to your potential partner. Here are few online dating anxiety symptoms in such a scenario: 

• Your profile has a few questionable things on it (for most, it’s the 6-feet-tall they put up on their dating apps)
• You try too hard to come up with the best pick-up lines to impress someone on a dating app
• You upload heavily edited photographs of yourself which do not resemble you at all

4. You overanalyze everything

When dating with anxiety, even the smallest details become subjects of intense scrutiny. It’s like your brain is on an overdrive of analyzing every single interaction. Here are a few things to notice:

• The way you sit, the movement of your hands, the response and body language of your date – every little thing gets dissected and overthought
• You start drawing conclusions from the most insignificant occurrences
• If your date asks you to repeat something you said, your anxiety might convince you that they’re not interested

Related Reading: The 13 Types Of Crushes You Have Had (Or Will Have) At Least Once!

5. You struggle with post-date anxiety

“Will there be a second date?” “Will they follow their promises?” “Dating gives me anxiety! Did they like me at all?” This is post-date anxiety, where you’re constantly troubled by what could go wrong. Even the tiniest delay or perceived lack of interest from your date can send you spiraling. Sometimes, to protect yourself from potential rejection, you might even take a step back and ghost them, leaving them wondering about the effects of dating someone with anxiety.

12 Ways To Cope With Dating Anxiety

Dating anxiety can prove to be a real obstacle in your pursuit of finding a partner. When the entire experience of meeting someone new is tainted by fear and worry, the prospect of enjoying such encounters is slim. If left unattended, the anxiety about whether you’re falling in love too fast, starting a new relationship, or even dating casually can begin to interfere with your vision for the future.

Besides, it can significantly dent your personality, your mental well-being, and your social life. This can leave you wondering if it is possible to get over dating anxiety. Well, even if you cannot free yourself from it completely, it is possible to manage it effectively so that it doesn’t interfere with your ability to lead the life you desire. These 12 ways to cope with dating when you have anxiety will help you embark on a path of transformation:

1. Beat dating anxiety with optimism

“Relationship anxiety, in general, is based on very unreasonable beliefs. Beliefs that have been drilled into our minds but are not backed by any facts. When you try to question your fear and reframe those fears in more affirmative sentences, you can begin making sure that you’re never dating with anxiety again,” says Shambhavi. You can tell yourself things like:

• “This date will go well”
• “Even if the date doesn’t go so well, I will be alright”
• “I will give my best and that is all that I can do”
• “I’ll have a nice time with my date and enjoy it thoroughly”

2. Shift your focus on them (with an appreciative mindset)

“At the end of the day, when you have a more accepting and appreciative attitude toward the people you meet, you’re more likely to believe that they feel the same way about you. Try to reduce your people-pleasing attitude, and focus on your date instead,” Shambhavi tells us.

3. Channelize your curiosity

Wondering how to get over dating anxiety and how to stop being nervous on dates? Channelize your curiosity to learn about your date’s life, experiences, beliefs, and values. Bring up some nice first-date topics to make the conversation flow. Once you see them for who they are, they may not seem so intimidating after all.

4. Speak to a close friend or someone you trust 

If you haven’t met your date yet and are having trouble dealing with feelings of anxiety, Shambhavi says that talking to a friend or someone you trust can help. “Being vocal about your anxiety is very helpful. Talk to people you already know and trust. Pouring your heart out to someone who is going to motivate you and keep you at your best can significantly help reduce your dating anxiety symptoms,” she suggests.

Related Reading: 8 Rules Of Texting While Dating

5. Plan ahead to curb your fear of dating

When those feelings of anxiety begin to build up, small little uncertainties like these can bother you: 

• What will the ambience be like?
• What’s the right outfit for the place your date has picked?
• What is the parking situation?
• How expensive will it be?

But when you’re involved in planning the date, you already know the answers to these questions and you can pick out a place that is right in your comfort zone. So, the next time, instead of bailing, try to come up with some cute date ideas. If you feel nervous about dating and going to an unfamiliar neighborhood, suggest meeting somewhere nearby. If formal settings make you uneasy, pick a café with a casual, laid-back vibe.

Quick tip: When you’re meeting new people for the first time, or want to start dating again, make sure you maintain a healthy lifestyle and get enough sleep. This can really help anxious people plan ahead and get rid of negative thoughts. 

6. Keep things light and upbeat

Want to know how to calm down before a date or get over dating insecurity? Traumatized by dating apps or struggling with low self esteem dating? Here’s a solution: keep the conversation light and upbeat. Avoid broaching tricky topics that can bring on dramatic responses, trigger traumatic memories, and make the whole vibe heavy with a sense of negativity. Try this method if you are too anxious to date or you’re dealing with dating social anxiety.

7. Talk yourself up

Low self-esteem, which is a prime dating anxiety cause, can lead to people viewing themselves in poor light. You may feel anxious about going on dates because you can’t think of anything that makes you desirable or attractive to the other person. However, everyone has their share of good qualities, assets, and strong suits. So explore what makes you unique. Project this positive side to yourself on dates. 

And when you’re in a safe space, ask yourself the following questions:

• Why do I avoid relationships?
• Why does dating make me anxious?
• Why do I have meeting anxiety and feel an intense fear of rejection which makes me want to stop dating?

8. Establish a rapport before going on dates

Whether you’ve connected through a dating app or are being set up by mutual friends, start by texting and then graduate to speaking on the phone. Take the step of going on a real date only when you feel like you know and understand each other somewhat. At least, then there won’t be many elements of surprise coming your way to trigger your anxiety.

9. Practice relaxation techniques

If you experience anxiety about dating, chances are that anxious feelings impact other aspects of your life as well. As such, practicing these relaxation techniques can help you cope with overwhelming feelings:

Ideally, you should make these a part of your lifestyle to cope with anxiety more efficiently. These techniques can also be particularly helpful in calming yourself whenever you feel overwhelmed to a point that you want to cancel a date because of anxiety.

10. Come clean about your anxiety

Once you have established a certain comfort level with your date or a potential partner, confide in them and let them know that you struggle with anxiety about falling in love or the dating scene. This will help them understand your reactions and behavior better. Try this if you are too anxious to date or you’re dealing with dating social anxiety.

Related Reading: 18 Early Dating Signs He Likes You

11. Cut yourself some slack

If despite doing your best, a first date after meeting online doesn’t go as planned, don’t beat yourself up about it. When dealing with mental health issues, some setbacks are possible in your path to progress. Pat yourself on the back for being courageous enough to step out to meet someone new. See what you can take away from this less-than-desirable experience and use it to work on yourself.

12. Seek professional help

Wondering how to get over dating anxiety and how to stop being nervous on dates? “Understanding why you’re thinking the way you are and figuring out how to tackle it is almost vital. The best way to do that is through counseling. A professional counselor can help you understand your patterns and triggers and tell you how to challenge them,” says Shambhavi. If you’re looking for help, our skilled and experienced counselors on Bonobology’s panel are always here for you.

Battling anxiety and love dilemmas while dating can be a lonely road sometimes. But guess what? You have the power to turn things around and take control of your anxious feelings. It all starts with a little self-awareness and the determination to break free from those old patterns. Take a deep breath, remind yourself of your worth, and embrace the excitement of meeting new people. Remember, you are deserving of love, and it’s right out there waiting for you. Keep going, my friend, and watch as the magic unfolds! 

FAQs

This article has been updated in July, 2023.

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Can we love two women at the same time? Or, two men? For most of us, that’s not hard to answer. So, what about liking both men and women? Or, people from multiple genders? Surveys show that bisexuals – those who experience multiple-gender attraction – form the largest LGBT group. Yet, there’s a peculiar and sticky stigma surrounding them. When women say they’re bi, they’re not taken seriously or labeled as promiscuous. Meanwhile, signs of bisexuality in males tend to be dismissed outright.  

Bi men are often told they are actually gay, or even, that there is no such thing as truly bisexual men. There’s also less collective acceptance of bisexual men than women.  To decode why, understand the signs of male bisexuality, and the misconceptions surrounding bisexual men, we spoke to counseling psychologist and certified life-skills trainer Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), who specializes in a range of mental health issues, including LGBTQ and closeted counseling.

But before we begin to deconstruct male bisexuality, let’s first understand what bisexuality means.

What is Bisexuality?

According to author and bisexual advocate Robyn Ochs, bisexuality is the potential to be romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of more than one sex and/or gender:

• not necessarily at the same time 
• not necessarily in the same way 
• and not necessarily to the same degree

“But ‘bi’ means two!” That’s what many bi folks hear when they try to explain their sexuality or sexual orientation to others. That’s cause the “bi” in “bisexual” is often taken to denote attraction to exactly two gender identities: male and female. And that’s what most dictionaries said for a long time. 

But in 2020, Merriam-Webster changed its bisexual definition, recognizing that gender identity (man, woman, neither, both, fluid, other…) exists on a spectrum and sexuality isn’t limited to the yin and yang of gay and straight. So, what is the meaning of bi in bisexual now? It denotes attraction to the “same gender and different genders”, according to GLAAD.

Related Reading: 18 Types Of Sexualities And Their Meanings

Can men be bisexual? 

So, can men be bisexual? That’s a question sexuality researchers have pondered over for decades. Some have – with much controversy – mapped men’s arousal patterns to argue that male bisexuality really and truly does exist. Others have questioned the assumption that people’s sexuality or sexual orientation needs scientific proof in order to be counted as valid. So how can we gauge someone’s sexual orientation? Self-identification, they say. 

Gallup surveys have shown that young adults are increasingly identifying as bisexual, with over half of LGBT adults reporting their sexual identity as bisexual. However, among them, bisexual men form a notable minority. So, does that mean male bisexuality is rare? 

According to Deepak, although bisexuality is more prevalent than homosexuality, male bisexuality tends to be ignored, denied, or kept hidden due to:

• Social erasure: Society still tends to dismiss male bisexuality as a soft launchpad for homosexuality. In fact, studies show that attitudes toward lesbian and bi girls are more favorable than for gay or bi guys
• Self-erasure: At times, because of social factors, fear, or conditioning, men may suppress bi feelings to focus on one gender to avoid “complicating things”. Some do this so as not to upset the applecart of traditional expectations around marriage  
• Media erasure: Media representations and stereotyping of bisexuals, as greedy or hypersexual, or prone to cheating, for instance, also erase bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation 

Bi-erasure, social factors, and stigma still make it hard for bisexual men to openly embrace any bi leanings. As Donald Weise recalls in an essay: “As far as I was concerned, I was a gay man who was attracted to women, but I’ve seldom come out about that for fear of becoming an outsider among outsiders.”

Related Reading: 7 Bollywood Movies That Have Sensitively Portrayed The LGBT Community

Common Misconceptions Associated With Male Bisexuality

What happens if people venture outside heterosexual intimacy or openly leave the so-called sexual norm? Their sexuality becomes their absolute defining characteristic, writes blogger Dan Pearce, who struggled with coming out as bi for over two decades, in Single Dad Laughing. 

“It becomes the first thing people think about and often the first thing they mention. Every other part of that person all but disappears,” he adds. Bisexual men would know a thing or two about this. And it has a lot to do with some common misconceptions that shroud male bisexuality and cloud perceptions about bisexual men:

1. A bisexual man is actually straight, gay, or lying 

Sexologist Alfred Kinsey created the Kinsey Scale over 70 years ago to suggest that people’s sexual behaviors, thoughts, and feelings exist on a continuum. That they are not limited to gay or straight sexual orientations. Yet, a bisexual man is often told he: 

• Is confused
• Could be straight if he tried
• Too straight to be gay
• Too queer to be straight
• In denial and pretending to be straight
• Or, going to end up gay 

Studies, like this one and this, show heterosexual, lesbian, and gay folks feel a bisexual man is more attracted to other guys. People feel a bisexual man “must only be attracted to one [gender], and be lying about the other,” a Quora user observes. So bisexual guys are often asked to “pick a side”. 

That only leads to bi-erasure, says a Reddit user, “You may [eventually] choose to pick a single human to spend your life with…But in that case, you haven’t picked a side, you have picked a person.”

2. A bisexual man is drawn equally to men and women

“Often, people think that the attraction bisexual people feel toward men and women is split even, 50/50. That is not the case,” says Deepak. More often than not, the sexual and romantic orientations of bisexual men may not line up, and they may not be attracted equally to all genders: 

• For some, men may hold more sex appeal (this extends beyond mere appreciation of their appearance)
• Some may be primarily or occasionally attracted to women 
• Others may lean more toward non-binary folks 
• Some may be drawn to some genders, but not others
• Some may be romantically interested in one gender and sexually in another
• Others may experience sexual attraction toward two genders, but romantic interest in only one and vice versa
• Some may find their preference chop and change from one gender to another in cycles

“I am not 50/50, I wouldn’t even say I’m 25/75… it’s never that simple. Thus, saying we’re 100 percent bi would be more straightforward,” says a Quora user.

Related Reading: The Different Types Of Attraction And How To Recognize Them

3. A bisexual man is looking for a threesome

It is often assumed that bisexual men are sexual omnivores who will hit on their female and male friends alike. That their sex life is deviant and they’re always looking for a threesome with attractive men and women. But just like sexual orientation, sexual preferences are entirely individual. 

So maybe they like anal sex, vaginal sex, oral sex, or any other form of sex. Maybe they like threesomes, moresomes, same-sex action, or something else. Whatever the case may be and whoever may hold sex appeal for them, the sex life and sexual preferences of bi men are really and truly up to them. 

4. A bisexual man can’t have monogamous relationships

This stems from the notion that: 

• Bisexual men are constantly torn between their feelings for men/women/non-binary folks 
• Bi husbands or partners will ultimately change their minds or cheat on their partner 

That’s why, when bisexual men disclose their sexual identity, their commitment to monogamous relationships or their capability to form long-term partnerships often comes into doubt. 

“Monogamy is not about whether someone is bisexual or not. It’s about whether two people are committed to the idea or not. That being said, monogamy doesn’t come naturally to many of us [gay, straight, non-genders included],” says Deepak. The bottom line: there are probably as many monogamy-embracing and monogamy-avoiding bisexual husbands, bisexual partners, and bi boyfriends as the rest. 

Related Reading: Are We Naturally Monogamous Or Has It Been Forced Upon Us?

5. A bisexual man isn’t dating or relationship material

According to one study, both non-bisexuals (heterosexuals, gays, and lesbians) and bisexual women are more likely to swipe left on dating bisexual men on dating apps. But in another study of bisexual husbands and wives and women with bi partners, bisexual men were rated as:

• better long-term partners 
• good lovers
• caring and invested fathers
• better at forming equitable relationships

Some women with bisexual partners even said they wouldn’t choose to date straight men again. So, are bisexual men dating or relationship material? In The Independent, bisexual advocate Lewis Oakley argues they are: “I’m an out bisexual man who found a woman that loves me for who I am…I’m living proof that there are many lovely women out there who are open to dating bisexual men and an example to others that dating a bi man can work out.” 

6. Bisexuality is just a phase

When men come out as bisexual, they are often told it’s “just a phase”: 

• That their romantic, sexual, or emotional attraction is something they will grow out of 
• That they’ll eventually slip into some form of monosexuality

“When we look at sexuality as a problem, it is easy to dismiss it as a phase,” says Deepak, “But sexuality doesn’t change. You just become more aware of different aspects of your sexuality in time.” 

In the end, we can choose to act on our feelings or not, but who we are attracted to isn’t something we can control, grow out of, or edit to fit expectations. And we shouldn’t have to, whether we identify as straight, gay, trans, bisexual, or walk with merry abandon on the Kinsey Scale. 

Related Reading: I’m Bisexual – My Best Friend Is My Lover

10 Signs of Bisexuality In Males – Understand Your Sexuality

If a man appears increasingly disinterested in heterosexual intimacy or shows a lack of affection and intimacy, does that make him bi? Are homophobic behavior or a preference for anal sex signs of bisexuality in men? The short answer is no. 

Bisexuality is complex. It doesn’t come in a single mold or box. And there are often big differences in how people who identify on the bisexuality spectrum see and express their sexual identity. Or even, define what being bisexual means to them. So, how to know if someone is bisexual? You’ll have to wait for them to tell you they are.

Since there are no hard-and-fast bisexual definitions or rules about what makes someone bisexual and what doesn’t, figuring out if you lie on the bisexuality spectrum can be vastly confusing. Here are some common signs that could hopefully help:

1. Your fantasies have you questioning your leanings

Wondering how to decide if you’re bisexual or have bisexual characteristics? Deepak has some advice: “Check your fantasies and your fears. What are you attracted to and what are you afraid of?” Your sexual fantasies and dreams are often a good indicator of who you are attracted to.

If they regularly feature people from more than one gender – one at a time or all wound up together – there may be more to them. “The body is never confused. It will tell you what it wants. Pay attention to what that is. Don’t just listen to what your brain is telling you about what it could mean,” says Deepak. Next, look at your fears. They will show you why you are troubled – if that’s the case – by your feelings, and hopefully, help you find some clarity.

Related Reading: My Fantasy Sexual Life 

2. Your porn history shows you have bi interests 

Find yourself Googling what is the meaning of bi? Or, looking up bisexual traits or bisexual definitions? This curiosity may be telling you something. Likewise, your porn history could also hold some clues. “See what kind of porn turns you on. What kind of porn do you enjoy? It is a good indicator, but not a surefire answer to whether or not you’re bisexual,” says Deepak. 

Be careful of drawing quick conclusions here, he cautions. “There are many lesbians who enjoy gay porn. That doesn’t mean they are turned on by gay men.” 

3. Your fictional crushes cut across genders 

When you watch your fave show or a movie or read a book, do you find yourself crushing on characters from not just the same sex or gender you usually feel romantic or sexual attraction for? While this may not be a definite sign, it’s still a pretty telling one and often, the first inkling of bi feelings for some bi folks. And therefore, worth taking note of.

4.  You find yourself relating to a bi character 

Maybe you were stoked to see Marvel’s Loki coming out as an openly bisexual man in the series. Or, there is some other bi-tastic character that you find yourself increasingly relating to or identifying with. If that’s the case, a little introspection may help you pin down why. 

5. Your feelings for a close friend are somewhat befuddling

Do you feel a strong pull for one of your male friends? Or, one of your close friends from a different gender than the one you normally prefer? Does your attraction go beyond mere appreciation? Does it seem your crush on them is more than what it seems?  

Here are some questions Deepak says you may have to think over: 

• Are you romantically attracted to your friend? Do you crave spending time with them – not just in a group, but one-on-one?
• Are they slipping into your sexual fantasies? Do they hold sex appeal for you? 
• Are you afraid of someone finding out about your feelings? Or, avoiding your feelings for fear of being abandoned or rejected or ruining close friendships?

Fear often stops us from looking too closely at our feelings. If that’s the case for you, remember, being attracted to someone is 100% normal even if you don’t quite know what to do about it yet. 

Related Reading: 5 Ways To Tell Your Best Friend That You Are Falling In Love With Him

6. You can easily picture yourself with people from different genders 

This is among the more common bisexual characteristics or bisexual signs. For many bi folks, attraction is more about the person and less about whether they are from the same sex or same gender, the opposite gender, or non-binary or other genders. So, if you can see yourself in a long-term or even an exclusive relationship with or are getting increasingly curious about dating people from different genders, it could point to bisexual traits. 

7. The stigma around male bisexuality drives you nuts

When you read or hear about the misconceptions and unfair perceptions surrounding male bisexuality, does it leave you discomfited? Do you feel hurt or troubled when other guys say male bisexuality isn’t real? Or, does it rile you up when they ridicule bisexual people or signs of bisexuality in males? If you are taking it personally or getting super defensive when someone rejects bisexuality, it’s time to ask yourself why. 

8. Am I bisexual? That’s a question you’re asking again and again

Maybe something happened or a chance encounter triggered this question. Or, it has been on your mind for quite a while. But if it’s coming up again and again, you probably already have an inkling why. However, don’t put pressure on yourself to be sure, advises Deepak. 

“Don’t try to fit yourself into a category. Move on with your life and your body will tell you who you are in love with,” he says. If you’re struggling with your feelings or feeling conflicted or depressed about them, talking to someone – maybe a supportive friend or a counselor – could help.

Related Reading: Practical Steps To Deal With Depression

9. The idea of bisexuality appeals to you

Do you find the idea of bisexuality intriguing or even, bi-mazing? Does it appeal to you? Then it’s a good enough sign you’re ready to explore it or are open to bi experiences. 

10. The bi label just feels right

“At times, more than any specific thing, the bi label just feels right to some people,” says Deepak. If the bi tag resonates with you and rings true for you, then don’t let the laundry list of misconceptions and stigma surrounding bisexual people get to you. Go ahead, you do you.

How to talk about bisexuality

Even if you know how you feel, embracing your sexual orientation and being comfortable with your sexual identity will take time. In fact, “Why am I bisexual?” is a question that may surface often. If you’re wondering, “Why am I bisexual?” Deepak has an answer, “You are bisexual for the same reasons you have blue, brown, or black eyes. You are bisexual for the same reason you are bald or have curly, thick, and luscious hair: It’s biology.”

If you’re trying to figure out how to tell your parents you’re bi or come out to anyone else, like a partner or a friend, understand that you may need to:

• Give them a heads up: Set aside some time with them for a proper conversation
• Be prepared for their reaction: It won’t always be what you hoped for
• Give them time: They may need some time to process what you say

Ultimately, the decision of whether and how to tell your parents you’re bi, or anyone else for that matter, is up to you and how safe and comfortable you feel about it.

Related Reading: 10 Ways The Queerphobia Is Coming From Inside The House

How to explore bisexuality

If you’re sure of your feelings, but don’t quite know how to explore bisexuality yet, Deepak has some tips:

• Be upfront about your bi leanings: Don’t try and hide your sexual identity or sexual orientation for fear of stigma. If you are experimenting, let your current and potential romantic or sexual partner know 
• Practice radical self-acceptance: Be careful of the stories you tell yourself. Make sure they are rooted in reality. Try and see yourself as who you are, keep true to what you want, and keep embracing it without judgment

In the end, sexuality is not a one-size-fits-all box that we need to pigeonhole ourselves into. It is more like a map of what we desire. And how we navigate that is up to us and no one else.

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Toxic Masculinity And Homophobia Within Male Friendships

So you’ve met a cute guy at a coffee shop, flirted with each other and exchanged numbers. And now, you’re looking for some irresistible texts that will make him want you. You grab your phone and start typing, “OMG, you’re like the hottest guy I’ve ever seen! Your muscles are sooo ripped, and your smile could light up the universe. Seriously, you’re like a Greek god. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to text someone as perfect as you.” You delete it and try again, “Um, hey, sorry for bothering you. I was just thinking, maybe we could, um, get together and, uh, chat or something? If you’re not busy… I mean, if you want to…” Ew, no, no, no, right? Stop. Right. There.

If you don’t want to sound like this, and you really want to level up your text game, you gotta look at some examples and learn the do’s and don’ts of flirty text messages for him. Whether you’re aiming to make him weak in the knees or simply ignite some playful banter, the texts in this article will help you, yes, figure out how to make him want you over text!

Texts That Will Make Him Want You More

Mix directness with subtlety, wit with kink, and viola, you’ll have your man fantasizing about you all day. Have cute visions of the future with him? Tell him! Want to spice things up with your partner? Go ahead, text him something along those lines. We promise it’ll pan out great.

For instance, Rachel (24) from Wisconsin tells us, “It was a rainy evening and I texted my boyfriend, “It’s pouring down, and I can’t stop thinking about the first time we met on a rainy day like this. And you know how rainy evenings make me feel extra naughty, wink wink.” An hour later, he’s at my door. I mean, I knew men liked a naughty chat, but I did not realize it’d be all I’d ever need to make him want me so much.”

Now, though Rachel makes it sound so easy-peasy, it’s quite normal to struggle coming up with sweet messages or funny texts to make him want you. When your creative juices aren’t flowing, a bit of inspiration is always helpful. Read on to find out what you should send him!

Related Reading: 101 Hobbies For Couples – Make Quality Time Count

Flirty Texts To Make Him Want You

Maybe you’ve just started talking to him and you’re looking to speed things up. Or perhaps it’s a friend you’re trying to have some fun with. Nonetheless, flirty texts to make him miss you and crave your presence can get the job done. In fact, some sassy flirty texts to make him laugh are ideal for all kinds of couples. Long-distance ones, couples in new relationships, friends with benefits, or casual sex buddies. So, take a look at the naughty texts below to get an idea of what to send him to make him go weak in his knees:

1. If I were to whisper something in your ear right now, what would you want it to be?
2. I have a challenge for you: can you guess what I’m wearing right now?
3. You make me want to reveal the naughtier version of me.
4. You look really good in that shirt. I wonder what you’ve got going on under it.
5. Do you like making out in the shower?
6. Do you want to be naughty in public?
7. Let’s talk about the health benefits of kissing.
8. What would you do if I asked you to come over? Hypothetically, of course.
9. Have you been hitting the gym? I wonder if lifting all those weights does anything for you in bed.
10. You’re the funniest person I know. Call me and cheer me up?
11. I love talking to you, you always get me thinking about being with you in person.
12. I love your voice, it kinda turns me on.
13. Does your weekend have any room for me?
14. Aren’t you the sweetest! If I was with you right now, I’d do a bit more than just hug you.
15. Had a dream about you last night. Care to help me turn it into a reality?
16. I’ve been trying to concentrate on my yoga classes here, but all I can think about is how incredible it would feel to be in your arms.
17. How do you make even the most mundane activities feel exciting and adventurous?
18. Just a warning label: I might steal a few kisses from you the next time I see you. Consider yourself forewarned.
19. There’s something about your voice that sends shivers down my spine. Can we have a phone date soon?
20. I can’t help but blush whenever I think about the way you look at me.
21. I have a confession to make: every time I see your name pop up on my screen, I can’t stop smiling.
22. So, I have this little fantasy where we go on a spontaneous road trip together. What do you say we make it a reality?
23. If we were to play a game of truth or dare, what would be your ultimate dare for me? Don’t hold back!
24. Your presence alone has the power to brighten even the gloomiest of days. You’re my ray of sunshine.

Related Reading: 101 Love Riddles To Tickle Your Romantic Side – With Answers

Seductive Text Messages To Make Him Obsessed Over You

Sure, flirting is great. But when you really want things to go to the next level, seductive text messages for him will do just the trick. If you’re not the best at flirting with someone, thankfully, a dirty text to make him blush can get that job done for you. So set the mood with a bunch of texts, and you both will know what’s in store when you meet. And to make it all super smooth, here are some flirty texts for him to turn him on:

25. Want to play a game? I’ll be your genie, and you can rub me the right way by granting one wish. Use it wisely.
26. I am in my birthday suit, and it’s in your favorite color. Want to Facetime?
27. I can’t concentrate at work today. I have been blushing constantly while thinking about all the things we might do to each other.
28. My friends get jealous whenever I talk about how good-looking you are.
29. Do you have a certain kink? Just trying to figure out how to turn you on next time.
30. Are you free tonight? I have some kinky plans for us.
31. I wonder what I’d do to you if you were over at my place right now.
32. I can barely stop thinking about those perfect lips you have. I wonder if you’re a good kisser.
33. Aren’t you curious about what I am wearing right now?
34. Can we play Strip Poker sometime?
35. Tonight you and I have some plans. Get ready for the best surprise of your life!
36. I have been doing some research on sex positions that men love. Tell me, what’s your favorite?
37. What’s your favorite thing to do in bed?
38. What was the best sex you’ve ever had and when are we one-upping it?
39. I have been naughty today. Wink, wink. I deserve a spanking?
40. Just a heads up, I’ve been practicing my seductive dance moves. Would you like a private performance?
41. I’m currently wearing a piece of lingerie that’s designed to drive you wild. Want to see it in person?
42. I have a little surprise for you. It involves silk, feathers, and a lot of tantalizing sensations. Are you ready for an unforgettable night?
43. Care to whisper something naughty in my ears like you did last night?
44. I hope you’re ready for a night where you can’t fall asleep.
45. Your voice has a way of setting my body on fire. I can’t wait to hear the seductive whispers that’ll make me weak in the knees.
46. The thought of your body pressed against mine is driving me wild.
47. Want me to send you a picture? Make sure you’re all alone.
48. I have a little secret. I’ve been wearing that scent you love, just to keep you on your toes.

Texts That Give Guys Butterflies

Want to build a loving, healthy relationship and send your boyfriend texts that give him butterflies? Or cheer up your husband after a silly fight? Wondering how to make him crazy about you over text, or what to text a guy to make him want you? Trust me, he won’t be able to wipe that smile off his face. Keep the banter alive with witty one-liners, inside jokes, and sweet compliments. Be authentic, and watch those butterflies flutter in his stomach like never before. Ready to give it a whirl? Let’s make his heart soar!

49. You have the perfect voice, I’d love for you to sing something for me.
50. I am eagerly waiting for when we cuddle, and I’ll be your small spoon all night long.
51. Are you a good cuddler? I promise I’m the best.
52. You make me so happy every time I’m with you. (This is a text men love, really)
53. You’re making me want to be a better person, I love that about you.
54. I love how patient you are, it makes me want to be more patient too.
55. I could talk to you all night long.
56. You’re perfect, has anyone ever told you that?
57. Every time I see my phone’s screen come to life with your name on it, I want to do a happy dance.
58. You’re the only person who has ever made me laugh so much.
59. I can be myself around you, you make me feel better right away.
60. It’s like you get cuter every day, what’s your secret when it comes to romantic texting?
61. You know what I love most about you? It’s not just your dashing good looks, but the way you make me feel like the most special person in the world.
62. It’s crazy how much I care about you, you’re just so perfect.
63. How is it that you always know the cutest thing to say to me?
64. They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think a first date with you could cure anything. Ready to be my remedy?
65. You’re not just someone I like; you’re someone I deeply care about. You give me butterflies like no one else.
66. I never believed in soulmate connections until I met you. You make my heart skip a beat every time we’re together. Good night!
67. You have this incredible ability to make me feel both safe and exhilarated at the same time.
68. You know, when we’re together, it feels like time slows down.
69. Do you have any idea that you’re the most handsome man? Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
70. Whenever I’m with you, I can’t help but forget about everything else and get lost in the moment.
71. Guess what? I couldn’t help but wear that perfume you love today. Now every time I catch a whiff of it, I can’t help but think of you.
72. I miss hearing you laugh. Call me?

Related Reading: 160 Ultimate What If Questions About Love For Couples

Texts To Send Him At Work

Picture this: he’s knee-deep in spreadsheets, and his phone buzzes with a message from you. It’s a flirty text that’s guaranteed to make him smile and maybe even blush a little. Trust me, after a long day at work, his focus will be shifted, and his thoughts will be filled with anticipation until he can finally be in your arms.

So, ready to spice up his workday with such flirty texts to make him laugh, or a dirty text to make him blush? Wondering what to text to make him think of you at work? Looking for text messages to make him obsess over you examples? Let’s turn up the heat, keep it playful, and make his workday a whole lot more exciting:

73. I wish you weren’t at work and working on my body instead.
74. Hey, Mr. Productivity! Just thought I’d let you know that you’re the hottest thing in the office, and I can’t help but daydream about you.
75. I know you’re probably busy right now, but I can’t stop thinking about you.
76. I can’t stop thinking about you, your eyes, your smile, your hands, your chest…should I keep going? wink, wink
77. How’s work going? Do you miss me yet?
78. I bet you’d rather spend time with me than be at work, wouldn’t you?
79. Can we call in sick and cuddle the day away, please?
80. If you’re worried about that meeting, don’t be. I know you’ll nail it!
81. Are you as charming at work as you were with me last night?
82. When do you get off? I can’t wait to have the best conversations with you on our Zoom date.
83. Want to go out for drinks after work?
84. I’ll let you go work even though resisting the urge to text you is so hard.
85. If I was working with you in your office, I’d never get out of your cubicle.
86. Given how smart you are, I bet you’re a delight to work with.
87. Did you steal your superior’s job yet or are you giving them a chance?
88. Just a friendly reminder that I can’t wait to have you all to myself tonight.
89. I hope your day at work is as stunning as your smile.
90. I can’t help but imagine what mischief we could get up to if we had a secret office rendezvous. The thought is definitely making my workday more interesting.
91. Every tick of the clock feels like an eternity without you. Can’t wait to be in your arms and forget about the passing of time.
92. Remember, even in the busiest of days, take a moment to breathe and know that you’re loved. You mean the world to me, no matter where you are.
93. Good morning! Want to go on a quick post-work date and watch me make your day?
94. I have a secret weapon against work stress: the thought of you. You have this magical power to melt away my worries, even from a distance.
95. You’re doing amazing things out there, and I’m so proud to call you mine.
96. While you’re typing away at your keyboard, I can’t help but fantasize about what you could do with those magical fingers after a few hours.

Messages To Make Him Fall In Love With You Over Text

Love is a magical journey, and sometimes, all it takes is a few well-crafted messages to make him fall head over heels for you. From sweet compliments that make his heart skip a beat to cute messages for him, we’ll navigate the realm of text communication to create an enchanting bond.

Wondering what to text to make him think of you? Looking for text messages to make him obsess over you examples? Or innocent texts that will make him want you? With a little bit of creativity, vulnerability, and a touch of magic, watch him fall in love with you through the power of these texts:

97. You’re the one I want by my side, always.
98. I can’t believe how good you make me feel.
99. You’re the best person I’ve ever talked to, I never want to let you go.
100. All I want to do is tell you how much you mean to me.
101. Good morning, love! I think I’m the luckiest person alive, simply because you’re a part of my life.
102. You are the cutest person I’ve ever met. I just want to eat you up.
103. Every day when I wake up, all I wish is for you to be next to me.
104. You’ve opened my eyes to a love that’s pure, deep, and unconditional. I want to connect on a deeper level.
105. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with how perfect you are. How do you do it?
106. The way you smile makes me smile.
107. I can’t wait to talk to you every morning.
108. I trust and respect you.
109. A day without talking to you feels like the worst day ever.
110. Do you want to stay with me, forever?
111. I can’t help but imagine a future with you, filled with laughter, adventure, and a love that grows stronger every day.
112. You have a way of making my heart skip a beat. You make me feel safe, warm and fuzzy all day.
113. Every text, call, and moment shared with you deepens my love for you.
114. I used to believe that love was just a fairytale, but then you came into my life and showed me that it’s real, it’s beautiful, and it’s with you.
115. The first thing that happens when I talk to you – I feel this overwhelming sense of warmth and happiness.
116. I’m falling for you, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
117. I think you owe me a date night, maybe dinner tonight and a happy memory? After all, I’ve been smiling like a fool ever since we started talking.
118. Can you send me a picture? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas this year.
119. I’m not a genie, but I can grant your wish of spending enough time with someone as amazing as me.
120. Imagine if we took a small trip. It’d be the best thing ever, right?

Related Reading: The 13 Types Of Crushes You Have Had (Or Will Have) At Least Once!

Do’s And Don’ts Of Flirty Text Messages for Him

In today’s technology-obsessed world, virtual connections are just as important as in-person chemistry. If you fancy a guy, sending some innocent and not-so-innocent texts that will make him want you more can be a total game-changer. With just a few taps, a cute text to make him want you can remind him that he’s on your mind. Subtle flirting over texts can even become a favorite pastime that keeps you both connected, no matter the physical distance. But the thing is, it may get super boring and ineffective if you don’t know the do’s and don’ts. So, without any further ado, let’s dive into the do’s and don’ts of flirty texting and help you ace this game with irresistible charm!

1. Showcase your confidence (read: make that first move!)

Why wait for him to make the first move? Show him you’ve got confidence by taking the initiative. Guys find it incredibly sexy when a woman makes the first move. It’s a bold and confident statement that says, “Hey, I know what I want!” So, if you are looking for flirting tips for beginners, stop overthinking and send him something intriguing that will make him see you in a whole new light. When you send across seductive text messages for him, you’re also showing him that you’re not afraid to tell him what you want. So speak your mind (yes, when you’re sending sex chat messages too)!

2. Send a short text that leaves a little room for mystery

We all lead busy lives, and the last thing you want is for him to get overwhelmed by a text that’s longer than a novel. Remember, less is more. So keep your messages short, but yes, leave a little room for mystery. Make him curious by being vague, so he’ll be longing to ask you questions and keep the conversation going. The back-and-forth banter might just lead to a naughty exchange, leaving him craving even more. Before you know it, that one short text to make him want you will have him hooked!

3. Give him genuine compliments

You can turn up the heat by complimenting a man. Let him know that you appreciate his dashing good looks or his charming wit. But hey, don’t go overboard! Keep your text messaging genuine and sincere, or he might think you’re just buttering him up. So while crafting mid day texts for him, texts to make him horny, miss me yet text or seductive good night messages for him, remember to be genuine. Trust me, a well-placed compliment can make him feel like a king and do the trick – yes, leave him thinking about you all day long!

So, there you have it! You’ve got a whole arsenal of sweet texts that will make him want you, and trust me, he won’t be able to get you out of his mind. Now, all that’s left is for you to summon your inner courage, grab your phone, and hit that send button. So go on, be confident and creative, and just let these flirty texts for him work their magic!

This article has been updated in July, 2023.

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