Category: Dating & Love

Common wisdom suggests that a parent should encourage independence in their child from 11 up. But what if the parent and child get emotionally glued instead? Then, the child may develop codependency, meaning they may learn to derive their sense of self from others, believe their needs aren’t important, and become compulsive over-givers who depend on being depended on. Even when the other person in the equation is not their parent. Often, their adult romantic attachments will bear all the signs of a codependent relationship.

Codependency is among the most toxic and dysfunctional relationship dynamics you can share with someone. That’s why learning how to spot and tackle codependent behaviors and relationship patterns is not only wise but also vital for your well-being. To delve into the psychology of codependency, understand its facets, and learn about codependent relationship signs and markers, we’ve consulted relationship and intimacy coach Shivanya Yogmayaa (internationally certified in the therapeutic modalities of EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT, etc.) who specializes in different forms of couples counseling.

What Does A Codependent Relationship Feel Like?

So what does a codependent relationship look like and feel like? According to Shivanya, people involved in codependent relationships slide into two roles — one partner becomes a caretaker/giver and the other a victim/taker: 

• The taker needs constant support, attention, and help. They struggle with basic tasks, require perpetual hand-holding, can’t make decisions, feel completely dependent on their partner, and are willing to surrender their autonomy to them
• The giver is focused on meeting their partner’s needs — to the exclusion of everything else. They feel responsible for their partner’s feelings and actions and have a compulsive need to do everything for them. So much so, the relationship feels like a full-time job that takes up most of their time, energy, and mental space

Researchers initially associated these codependent behaviors and roles with the spouses and families of people suffering from addiction or substance abuse. But they have since detected codependent relationship traits outside of this group, too.

Related Reading: 11 Signs You Are In A Codependent Marriage

Healthy dependency vs codependency

Letting someone know they can lean on you. Worrying about them. Prioritizing their needs. Isn’t it natural to do this for the people you care about? Sure. So how do you know: Are you codependent or just caring? And where does the boundary between healthy love vs codependency lie? Here’s what makes codependence different from healthy relationship dependence or interdependence:

• Healthy dependence is based on mutual give and take, where both partners rely on each other and feel safe to express their needs. But codependent partners tend to form selfish and one-sided relationships. The giver only gives, and the taker only takes. Thus, there’s a huge imbalance of needs being met, which only stokes dissatisfaction and resentment 
• People who build interdependent relationships grow together and give each other space to grow as individuals. However, codependents tend to form highly enmeshed relationships with no room to breathe, let alone grow

15 Indisputable Signs Of A Codependent Relationship

Codependency is a circular relationship that feeds into and is fed by a mutually reinforcing cycle. The giver, who usually has low self-esteem, tries to derive their self-worth from taking care of their partner and loses their sense of self in the process. Meanwhile, the taker’s instinct is to extract as much as possible from their partner while they continue to under-function and shirk all responsibility in the relationship. 

Need we say why this is neither healthy nor sustainable? Studies have shown that such dysfunctional relationships can scrape away at life satisfaction, too. That’s why it’s important to look out for these top signs of a codependent relationship and take remedial action:

Related Reading: Responsibility In Relationships – Different Forms And How To Foster Them

1. Excessive TLC

Stacy and Mark have been together for six months. Mark is a recovering addict with a history of substance abuse. Stacy is intensely worried about his sobriety. So much so, she has become his housekeeper, manager, and cook, and does all the heavy lifting for him so he can focus on his recovery. Even if that means putting her job and well-being on the back burner.

This is among the classic codependent behavior examples. People with codependent personalities take excessive care of their partner and are given to self-negation. According to Shivanya: 

• The caretaker tries to be a mother/father figure in their partner’s life
• They feel responsible for the dependent and try to monitor or manage their schedule 
• Despite their best intentions, the caretaker ends up crippling the dependent, increasing their sense of victimhood

“Disproportionate concern and care are the beginning signs of an unhealthy relationship,” she cautions.

2. If you’re okay, I’m okay

Codependency is a learned behavior in which people learn to tune out their own thoughts and feelings and base their emotional temperature on what others around them think and feel. In romantic relationships, they try to constantly read and manage (or even, control) their partner’s moods and emotions. That’s because they only feel okay if their partner is okay. This emotional dependence is one of the early signs of codependent relationships. 

And often, it is dual, which makes for a highly explosive equation: 

• Emotionally codependent partners hold each other responsible for how they feel, so they wind up blaming each other for any and all negative feelings or bad moods
• At times, if one partner tries to share their emotional needs, the other gets super defensive or upset 

The end result? Both partners rarely ever feel okay.

3. Overarching guilt

This is one of the telltale signs of codependency in a relationship. Caretakers take on all the responsibility for how their partners feel and act. So, they spend an inordinate amount of time anticipating their partner’s needs and feel guilty about saying “no” to their partner’s requests or carving any time out for themselves.

They also feel responsible for everything that happens to their partner – even things they didn’t cause, and have no control over or power to change. The takers take advantage of this sense of responsibility to tack all the blame on the caregivers and extricate themselves from all accountability whenever things go wrong, something the caretakers rarely counter. By shielding their partners in this way, caretakers become codependent enablers and end up encouraging their partner’s poor behaviors.

Related Reading: Accountability In Relationships – Meaning, Importance, And Ways To Show 

4. Rushing to their ‘rescue’ 

Here is among the most common signs of an unhealthy codependent relationship: “One partner is constantly Mr./Miss Fix It. They want to troubleshoot and do everything for their dependent partner,” says Shivanya. That’s because caretakers often have trouble recognizing and expressing emotions. They find it easier and less anxiety-inducing to act. So, they love to be needed and can’t step back and do less. They also can’t stop trying to fix a problem as soon as they spot it or hear about it. In fact, they’re itching to put on their cape and come to their partner’s “rescue” and take care of them. 

This only reinforces the taker’s dependency. Over time, the caretakers get tired of having to fix everything and shouldering more than the fair share of responsibility for their “lazy” husband or wife, or partner. But when they call it out, the takers accuse them of “nagging”. And the relationship starts to sour. 

5. Communication troubles 

Poor communication is among the top signs of a codependent relationship. Healthy relationships are built not just on acceptance but also on the ability to call out our partner’s poor behavior. Especially if it’s something that could hurt them or others around them. That involves having difficult conversations and holding each other accountable.

“If you don’t identify their tendencies, who will? But most people involved in dysfunctional relationships like codependency have trouble communicating with honesty. The caretaker does not express what the victim needs to work on. The victim also doesn’t stop the monitoring or stand up for themselves,” Shivanya explains.

The lack of honest and open communication in the relationship paves the way to assumptions, resentment, anger, and conflict—which, by the way, is the very thing codependents move high heavens to avoid.

6. Conflict avoidance

Because of their people pleasers personality, codependents are afraid of hurting others’ feelings. They hate the discomfort of a fight, so they go to great lengths to ignore their true feelings just to sidestep or avoid conflict. To understand this, let’s take a look at some codependent relationship examples:

• Peter has been offered a dream assignment in another city. He wants to go, but he knows his wife Penelope would hate to move. To avoid conflict, he refuses the job without even discussing it with her 
• Sally feels Dan has been spending too much time golfing on the weekends. But as soon as she mentions this, Dan starts to get irritated. So, she changes the topic and doesn’t bring it up again, though it continues to bother her

These are among the surefire signs of a codependent relationship. Codependents are deeply uncomfortable stating and negotiating their needs. So, they sweep problems under the carpet. That only causes them to accumulate and fester till the relationship implodes. 

Related Reading: 7 Expert Tips To Resolve Conflict In A Marriage

7. Lack of individuality

You can’t talk about the warning signs of codependent relationships without addressing the lack of individuality within such relationships. Shivanya says, “One of the key codependent relationship traits is that the caretaker or benefactor devotes everything to their partner. Most of their time is occupied doing tasks for their partner. The victim, meanwhile, has surrendered their power to make decisions; they are happy to exist in a limited way of life.” 

In fact, codependents make for a rather clingy couple that finds it difficult to function independently or have a life outside the relationship. They have no friends or hobbies or tend to latch on to their partner’s interests, without stopping to think about what they want. And that’s far from healthy. 

A romantic bond, while important, cannot be life itself. Calibrating your choices based on your partner’s compass will only leave you discontented and lost. That’s why, knowing how to balance independence in a relationship is important.

8. Also lacking: Real intimacy 

Still wondering what does a codependent relationship look like? Let’s look at another codependent behavior example: Mark struck up a conversation with Rachel in a grocery line and that led to one date. Now, Mark is:

• Acting and feeling like they are in a relationship 
• Imagining a life with Rachel 

Codependents suffer from instant relationship syndrome. They rarely take the time to know someone well before committing to them. They are relationship chameleons, who mold themselves to fit their partner’s life and views. Why? Because of low self-esteem and abandonment issues. They want to be liked and don’t think putting their authentic selves forward is the best way to do that. 

But real intimacy cannot be built on smokescreens. That’s why, after the initial rush wears off, codependents often find themselves with partners they don’t feel close to, comfortable with, or trust. Their relationship feels like a house of cards: always shaky and never quite solid.

9. Blurred boundaries

According to Shivanya, a codependent connection is essentially dysfunctional. This is because persons in enmeshed relationships tend to lack the ability to set boundaries: 

• They invade each other’s space often, and this has harmful repercussions. The dependent, for instance, completely relies on the caretaker to take care of all their emotional needs. The caretaker, meanwhile, says “yes” where most people no longer would. This gets exhausting and they eventually experience burnout
• In some cases, codependency leads to a breach of financial and sexual boundaries as well. This usually occurs when the caretaker gives the victim complete access to their finances or sets no ground rules in the bedroom

If, at any point, one of them tries to assert themselves or set boundaries, the relationship starts to get rocky. People who value their relationships respect their own and their partner’s boundaries. Blurred boundaries only lead to blurred identities and are one of the early signs of codependent relationships.

Related Reading: 15 Critical Boundaries In Marriage Experts Swear By

10. Stress: A constant

One of the most evident signs of a toxic codependent relationship is that it is a constant source of worry and stress for one or both partners: 

• The caretaker experiences anxiety and stress because they are in charge of their partner at all times. The emotional and physical responsibility takes a toll on them and leaves them unhappy and bitter if it goes unnoticed or underappreciated
• The victim may experience comfort in giving up their autonomy initially, but after a point, they may also get stressed and come to resent the caretaker’s micro-managing

Being with your partner should bring you joy, comfort, and security. If it doesn’t, then it’s best to take stock and rethink why you need to stay put, if at all.

11. Missing: Self-esteem 

The signs of a toxic codependent relationship are also invariably indicative of low self-esteem. Shivanya observes, “It’s a question of self-worth and self-image for both codependents. The caretaker has a compulsive need for approval and recognition.”

So, they may not even try to break the circular relationship pattern or help their partner become self-sufficient. That’s because they’re worried they will lose their sense of purpose if they do. They fear that once empowered, their partner will abandon them. “The victim is also not willing to take ownership of their life (since they need to feel cared for to feel worthy). They, too, are running on low self-esteem,” Shivanya adds.  

If we aren’t tethered and secure in ourselves, we will seek completion or meaning through a partner. But determining our self-worth based on how useful we are to our partner will only lead to constant pain in the relationship.

12. S for sacrifice

Everything has an opportunity cost. The caretaker doesn’t just look after their partner; they do so at their own expense. “One of the signs of a codependent relationship is that the caretaker makes self-sacrifices with a sense of glory of service and they take pride in the choices they make for their partner. This could be anything – turning down a promotion, paying off debts, moving cities, etc.,” says Shivanya. 

Though these sacrifices are made of the codependent’s own volition and in the spirit of selfless love, they corrode their sense of self and come back as resentments and chronic anger later. When it comes to self-sacrifice, we agree with what Ayn Rand says in The Fountainhead, “Self-sacrifice? But it is precisely the self that cannot and must not be sacrificed.”

Related Reading: Sacrificing In A Relationship – When, What And How Much?

13. Abusive relationship patterns

Since they reinforce problematic and codependent behaviors, most people who show signs of codependency in marriage or romantic relationships also find themselves trapped in patterns of abuse and toxicity. These usually play out in two ways:

• The victim (who often has a history of addiction) starts to feel entitled to their partner’s time and attention and becomes convinced their partner is incapable of leaving. So they begin to push boundaries, and this escalates into physical, emotional, or financial abuse
• Or, the caretaker begins to keep score of everything they have done, becomes bitter, and turns abusive. Their overarching need for control could also drive them to cross the line from caring to manipulating their partner to direct their behavior

Abuse, in any form, is a clear red flag and among the warning signs of codependent relationships that must never be ignored.

14. The past is prologue  

Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to take charge of their partner’s life. Or, develops signs of a taker for that matter. So, if you’re wondering, “Why am I codependent in relationships?”, know that there are deeper factors at play. Codependent behaviors are learned behaviors.

In one study, participants traced their codependency and anxious attachment style to excessive parental rigidity, control, criticism, or perfectionism, along with a lack of support. According to Shivanya, early experiences form the template for many codependent behaviors:

• Maybe the caretaker learned to take care of people (perhaps an ailing family member) early on in life 
• Similarly, the victim may have a history of helplessness and reasons underlying their surrender of selfhood 

This tumultuous history exercises control over both since they haven’t made peace with the past, and this leads to their developing signs of codependency in a relationship.

15. Destination: nowhere

“No one can possibly spend a lifetime taking care of all their partner’s needs or letting their partner do everything for them. At some point, the caretaker will reach a breaking point, and the victim will try and break free,” says Shivanya.

One of the codependent relationship red flags is that it has no long-term direction. It fizzles quickly into a stagnant relationship or one that feels like a karmic relationship, where both partners feel trapped and wonder, “How do I leave?” But getting out of toxic relationships is hard.

Often, codependent couples keep drawing each other back in, till one of them has had enough. At any rate, “The end is quite painful for both parties involved,” adds Shivanya. That’s why recognizing codependency, especially toxic codependency, for what it is and learning how to stop being codependent and how to fix a codependent relationship is important.

Related Reading: 6 Steps To Take If You Are Feeling Trapped In A Relationship

How To Break The Cycle Of Codependency

“Why am I codependent in relationships?” That’s not something people ask themselves, their friends, therapists, or a support group early on. That’s because many behaviors linked to codependency, like putting others first, are encouraged in social settings and collectivistic cultures. This makes it hard for people to connect the dots between codependency and the anxiety, anger, or distress they feel or the problems they face in a relationship.  

Also, codependent roles aren’t always clear-cut. At times, the same partner may display both sides of codependency, meaning they may be both a giver (say emotionally/financially) and a taker (sexually). So, spotting codependent relationship signs and learning how to break a codependent relationship cycle can be difficult. But it can be done. Codependency is a learned behavior, and like anything that is learned, it can be unlearned. 

So how to fix a codependent relationship? Here’s how to stop being codependent, overcome dependency, and form healthy relationships:

• Acknowledge your patterns: Understand the difference between responsibility for yourself and responsibility to your partner. Learn to talk about boundaries and respect them. That will mean saying and taking no for an answer. Doing this without returning to old patterns is a process and will take time
• A conscious effort to break patterns: Identify codependent behaviors, record them in a journal if you need to, and replace them with healthier ones. For instance, instead of rushing to rescue the taker, the caretaker will need to learn to step back, be less than they can be, and put up with the resultant anxiety 
• Focus on yourself: Learn how to be more independent in relationships and take charge of your own life. Turn your attention inward, spend time with yourself, and try and make decisions for yourself. Separate your goals and interests from your partner’s. For the people-pleasing caretaker, this would mean prioritizing self-care and learning not to feel guilty about it 
• Communicate: Negotiate and communicate so you can stop walking on eggshells around each other. Build a safe space where you both can talk things through openly and honestly
• Tune into your emotions: Learn to sit with and deal with your own emotions. Be your own happy. Don’t count on someone or something outside of yourself to make you feel good 
• Get professional help: Many people have emerged stronger from codependent relationships and broken the unhealthy cycle of codependency and emotional abuse with the help of therapy. So don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Our counselors from Bonobology’s panel are just a click away

And just like that, we’ve covered some signs of an unhealthy codependent relationship, codependent relationship examples, and ways how to fix such relationships. Hopefully, these will help you spot potential red flags and address them. Remember, there is no such thing as healthy codependency.

This article has been updated in July 2023.

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Aren’t relationships all about compromises? Isn’t that what we have always known? When you find yourself in a heated conversation with your SO, torn between standing your ground or letting go of what you want, what should you actually do? Do you find a middle ground or stand up for yourself? An awareness of non-negotiables in relationships can help you out of this quandary and find a balance between fighting and letting go.

After all, that’s what successful relationships are — fun and beautiful, but also an exercise in finding balance. They are a fine dance between celebrating togetherness while preserving your individuality; compromising while having some unshakeable boundaries; loving your partner but also loving yourself. 

For a better understanding of what that healthy balance looks like, we spoke to counseling psychologist Shivangi Anil (Master’s in Clinical Psychology), who specializes in premarital, compatibility, and boundary counseling. She talked to us about the importance of recognizing your boundaries, what these boundaries may look like, and tips on creating this list of non-negotiables in a relationship. Let us take it one by one. 

What Are Relationship Non-Negotiables?

Imagine this: A few months into a new relationship, you decide to move in together. You are excited. You trust this person. Then, one fine morning, you wake up to the sound of a loud but stifled hum. You walk down the stairs and find your partner sitting on the floor in a circle with ten other people, in what you imagine is a cult but may have been a morning mantra chanting session. No can do, sir! – you think to yourself. It’s in that instance, you realize one of your non-negotiables. “Must. Not. Be. Religious” 

And that’s it! That’s what non-negotiables are. Shivangi says, “A non-negotiable is a line between something acceptable or not acceptable in a relationship; non-negotiables are unique to every relationship and are influenced by personal circumstances and societal norms.” 

So, once you have figured out your deal-breakers, are you set for life? Umm. No. “As you grow, these relationship boundaries do too. They change with time,” says Shivangi. Your list of non-negotiables is as dynamic as you are. Similarly, your list may also change as the relationship progresses. What may be non-negotiable to you today in your relationship, you may be more flexible about tomorrow as you begin to trust your partner more. And that’s okay!

Why are relationship non-negotiables so important?

“It is crucial to have non-negotiable boundaries in a serious relationship because they are the line between what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. Boundaries are integral in a healthy relationship because they provide stability. They are what make the relationship sustainable,” says Shivangi. How exactly? She helped us with a few examples and laid down the following ways having non-negotiables in relationships can help you. 

• Power & agency: A boundary like “I will continue to work post marriage & childbirth” allows a woman agency over her identity & professional life
• Respect: A boundary like “We will not fight in front of others” or “You will not counter me in front of your parents” makes sure your partner respects you
• A sense of safety: Something like “I feel uncomfortable with kissing in public, can we please limit it to the bedroom” allows both partners to feel safe. Or “We will never go to bed angry” allows couples to not be afraid of abandonment and feel supported when navigating conflict
•  A way to fulfill your individual needs: A boundary like “We will meet our individual friends alone at least once a month” allows both partners to maintain individual friendships and fulfill their need for social connection.

Overall, non-negotiables allow for both you and your partner respect, safety, and an amenable space for growth.

Related Reading: The True List Of 19 Things Women Want In A Relationship

17 Non-Negotiables In Relationships You Must Never Compromise On

Some of the non-negotiable things in a relationship will always be unique to you. You will find them as you go along falling in love, forming bonds, falling on your face, and understanding yourself better. While many other non-negotiables are common between most couples, sort of like the cornerstones of a healthy relationship — a list of qualities of a conscious relationship.

So, what are some examples of non-negotiables in a relationship? Here is a list. Feel free to discard whatever doesn’t align with you or seems like something you don’t mind compromising over, and take what you can. We hope this list will help you figure out your deal-breakers and protect yourself from disappointments and trampled boundaries.

1. There has to be mutual respect

If you asked me, what do you look for in a relationship, my number one answer would be respect. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re at the receiving end of your partner’s anger, your opinions are constantly disregarded, your feelings dismissed, and your boundaries violated, how long do you think the relationship would last? If it does, it is not going to be a happy relationship for sure. 

You cannot foster a healthy relationship if there is a lack of respect for the person your partner is, their likes, and their life choices. Some, like myself, would even go on to say that respect for your partner is more important than love for them. Liking them for who they are, valuing their presence in your life, and feeling grateful to call them your own is what love is, isn’t it? That is what respect means and it should be the bare minimum you need in your relationship. 

Related Reading: Does My Husband Respect Me Quiz 

2.  You would be lost without trust

The strongest bonds can crumble under the weight of uncertainty and doubt. You want your partner to be a pillar of strength. Someone you can rely on with closed eyes. You don’t want to be worrying about whether they will keep their promise, whether they have your back, whether they will not hurt you. That is why, trust is an absolute must-have in any relationship, and understanding the components of trust can help a couple go a long way.

One interesting thing to note here is that all of these points, especially the foundational non-negotiables, work in tandem with each other. Chances are if you miss 2-3 in your relationship, you actually might be missing out on much more. For example, if you found that your partner lied to you, you would not just feel hurt, you would feel disrespected. Or if you respect your partner, you wouldn’t want to lie to them. You would trust them to understand what you are going through. 

3. You must feel safe in your relationship 

If you asked us about 3 non-negotiables in a relationship, they would be – respect, trust, and safety. It is a person’s primary right to feel safe, secure, and free from harm whether it is physical, emotional, or psychological. Both partners should be protective of each other’s well-being. Make sure that your relationship is free from the following:

• Physical abuse and violence 
• Emotional abuse
• Verbal abuse
• Manipulation and mental torture
• Fear of judgment
• Fear of punishment
• Fear of abandonment

Related Reading: 8 Signs You Are Losing Yourself In A Relationship And 5 Steps To Find Yourself Again

4. There should be a habit of communication 

Nothing would ever work in any relationship, not just a romantic relationship, if people didn’t communicate things. In fact, in the case of relationships that have a lot riding on them working out, we devise elaborate plans to ascertain effective communication. Think of the professional space. Such methodical routines to communicate things — regular meetings, issuing of memos, a fixed well-thought-out language, “official communication” from the boss. Only if we paid this kind of attention to our romantic partnerships! 

But it’s never too late. If you find yourself struggling on any one of the following fronts, take active steps to fix it:

• Prioritize keeping your partner informed of things so that you are both on the same page
• Update each other on what’s happening in your lives
• Talk regularly about your changing needs, desires, and boundaries
• Build a judgment-free safe space for discussions
• Focus on healthy conflict resolution 
• Practice active listening, without distraction
• Make it easy to talk to your partner

5. Honesty! Honesty! Honesty!

Honesty is an absolute must for sustaining a relationship. Trust is built through a regular display of honest behavior. Lost trust is rebuilt through a relentless, often difficult display of honesty. In fact, one wouldn’t feel safe in a relationship if one couldn’t rest assured that their partner will not lie to them or cheat them. 

This is a good space to bring up the question of infidelity, especially emotional infidelity. Do you know, in a survey of 1,600 British adults, 44% said that forming an emotional relationship with someone else also constituted cheating? That is how much people want to be on the same page as their partners. Ethically non-monogamous relationships work beautifully on this very principle. “If I was in the know, if I didn’t feel cheated or lied to, if he was just honest, I would not feel stupid,” my friend who broke up with a cheating partner once told me, “I might have even been okay with it.”

6.  You need personal boundaries

You cannot become one with your partner by losing yourself. That is not what “two bodies, one soul” refers to. Some people around you may make you feel that it is selfish to think about your needs, your likes, your personal space, and your time. But, having the space to nurture your personality, allows you to bring your best to the relationship, positively affecting your relationship. 

You especially need this kind of non-negotiable in marriage where your boundaries can easily be infringed upon. Shivangi too says, “You must have boundaries about who gets access to your personal zone, how you like your physical space, or the everyday choices you make.” Here are some examples:

• Physical space: “Clutter makes me anxious. Can we please clean up at the end of the day?”
• Personal time: “I would like to take my evening walks alone” 
• Personal hobby: “I need my hour for knitting. It relaxes me”
• Personal choice: “I don’t feel like ordering from the same place. You go ahead. I will find out what I want to eat”

7. Being in a relationship of equals is your right

Your relationship has to be a relationship of equals for most of these things to work. If your partner’s needs happen to be more important than yours, how do you expect to focus on your personal growth? If you’re forever picking up behind your partner, instead of on yourself, where would you find the me-time? 

The same with your opinions and your choices. Consider this a non-negotiable in marriage — “We will share equal responsibility, we will have equal say.”  After all, feeling valued in a relationship should be a bare minimum standard. A partnership that focusses on fostering equality is a strong partnership in the long run.

8. Decide how you like to be touched

Boundaries around physical touch, physical intimacy, and sex are crucial. Shivangi says, “Non-negotiables around touch are about where, when, and how you choose to be touched by your partner. Similarly, sexual boundaries are about when, where, and what kind of sexual activities you are consenting to. A sexual non-negotiable could be insisting on the use of protection or refusing anal sex.”

Think of this long and hard as one of your non-negotiables in dating. How do you like being touched? And where? Are you okay with physical affection in public? Practice consent around sexual intimacy, inside and outside the bedroom. It is non-negotiable. Period.

Related Reading: What Happens When Neither Of You Asks For Consent?

9. Emotional support – An inherent need in intimate relationships

We are all fighting individual battles, no matter how many people we may be surrounded with. In one way or the other we end up looking for emotional support from our partners. In moments when we are tired of our struggles, we expect them to understand, to lend an ear, to help when help is needed, to offer a shoulder to cry on, to cheer us up, to share the load, to offer advice when advice is needed, etc. These are some basic expectations. 

It is okay to prioritize what you need from your partner in distressing times. Think about what the words “emotional support” mean to you, and make sure that you are getting it in your relationship. 

10. Having matching values is an important quality

Yes, opposites attract. But you need commonalities on foundational values. Values are what an individual considers important and meaningful in life. They serve as a moral compass and help guide your decisions. This is why your core values need to align. In a good relationship, couples connect over these values, so that they can make compromises on the small issues.  

For example, if your and your partner’s definition of cheating is the same, you wouldn’t be left with scope for misunderstandings. On the other hand, if you both feel differently about questions like, “Is it okay to lie to spare someone their feelings?”, one of you might end up hurting the other.  

Related Reading: Living Apart Together: Decoding The Latest Trend Said To Save Relationships

11. Equally important are matching beliefs

This brings us to the next point. Beliefs! Beliefs are thoughts, ideas, and convictions we hold dear. They are formed by our personal experiences, cultural background, upbringing, etc. These could be political, religious, or moral beliefs. Beliefs are influenced by values, and therefore, like values, if your beliefs differ too much from your partner’s, they can become a source of friction throughout your life. 

This can be a pretty strong non-negotiable in a relationship. For example, “No matter what happens, I cannot be with a gun owner.” You could think of your boundaries surrounding beliefs, and what you can or cannot compromise with. Shivangi says, “You may not have the same religious beliefs as your partner, but you can be okay with different spiritual beliefs around you, without being forced to follow them. Or it’s okay if this is too much for you.” The thing with boundaries is, you decide what’s your relationship deal-breaker.  

12. Sharing common long-term goals can make life easier

You don’t have to be “goal-oriented”, as they say, to think about goals. Goals don’t have to be about success, a house, a car, or a job. What comes to your mind when you think of your long-term goals? I think of things like:

• Do I want kids? Maybe not
• Where do I want to live? Maybe in a city that’s close to the hills
• Do I want to prioritize professional development over being with my family? If needed
• How important is my fitness going to be for me? A lot
• Do I imagine taking care of my parents in their old age? Yes

It is answers to questions like these that can be your deal-breakers. Although, I feel, that the answers to these can change over time. Our long-term relationship goals and life goals change, or we become more flexible with them. If everything else is working out well with your partner, it is not a great idea to go separate ways just because you want to retire in a city while your partner wants to go back to their childhood farm. You don’t know how either of you will feel a few years from now, let alone your retirement years.

Related Reading: 15 Examples Of SMART Goals For Relationships And How To Set Them

13. How you spend your money can be an important non-negotiable

With coupledom comes the inevitable merging of the finances. Now, there is a huge difference between saying, “My money is your money”, and actually seeing your savings being spent on something that doesn’t agree with you. Misaligned financial values and the money trauma arising from it can be a deeply unsettling issue. All of us need to feel comfortable with the way our money is spent. 

When it comes to finding financial stability, what are some examples of non-negotiables in a relationship? Shivangi says, “It is about how people manage their money and whom they choose to share it with.” For the sake of clarity, let’s look at some examples of financial boundaries. These examples may help a couple avoid financial conflict in marriage.

• I would like to continue having an independent savings account
• Supporting my parents financially is my responsibility and I will continue to do that after marriage
• I feel comfortable saving at least 20% of my earning in an emergency fund 
• I don’t feel comfortable investing in cryptocurrency
• I have a traumatic relationship with gambling. I cannot tolerate casual gambling and occasional betting

14. Partners must support each other’s growth

I rewrote “should support” to “must support”. And that’s what a non-negotiable is. A step up from “should” to “must”. Your ideas around what this support looks like can change, but there is no beating around the bush with this one. Partners in a relationship must look beyond their interests and help each other shine to their full potential. Here are some ways partners can do that:

• Recognize each other’s contributions, strengths, and achievements
• Offer words of encouragement and praise
• Show belief in their abilities
• Help partner access resources – financial, physical, or logistical. For example, holding the fort when they are gone or are keeping busy
• Celebrate milestones with them 
• Set goals for yourself and lead by example
• Take care of each other’s physical, emotional, and mental health

Related Reading: How To Use Words Of Affirmation As A Love Language?

15. Becoming each other’s priority is important

A long-term relationship works when two people commit to making each other their priority. This demonstrates your love, respect, and commitment to the relationship. You build a strong emotional bond with them, making dealing with the ups and downs of the relationship much easier. For example, if you are in a marriage where your partner is particularly close to their family, this might not resonate with you. For you, leave and cleave boundaries can be an important non-negotiable.

16. Everybody needs privacy!

If you were raised in a big family, you might have craved privacy all your life. Or you may enjoy sharing space with other people. Regardless of how you view the line between love and privacy, it’s vital to have a conversation about it with your significant other and arrive at a middle ground about what respecting each other’s privacy would mean in your relationship.  

Shivangi says, “Non-negotiables around privacy can also be about who has access to your physical things. A common privacy boundary is no checking phones or asking for email or social media passwords.” Other questions that can help you find out what kind of privacy you absolutely need are:

• Do you need a room of your own? 
• Do you hate it when someone looks through your closet? 
• You don’t mind sharing a bed, but do you hate it when someone stretches out your slip-ons or shares your towel?
• How do you feel about keeping a journal? Does it stress you out that someone may read it? 

17. What’s a personal value you cannot do without?

Is it humor, kindness, passion, charity, or something else? For me, personally, nothing beats sensitivity and kindness. This is what makes me value my partner the most. That he is kind, not just toward me, but also to other people he comes across in his life. 

Then there is also a bit of humor. He makes up jokes all day that crack me up. (Although he tells me I am the only one who laughs.) I also appreciate that he believes in charity. That comes from kindness. On top of that, his passion for his work… Before this becomes a love letter to my husband, allow me to summarize this point. 

These are examples of standards in a relationship. What is something that will make you fall in love again with your partner every morning? What will you most appreciate them for? What makes you respect them for who they are? It’s clear this value is important to you! Keep this on the top of your list of non-negotiables to never feel that you are in a relationship of compromises. Every sacrifice is worth it when your non-negotiables are taken care of. 

Tips For Figuring Out Your Non-Negotiables

Some of this advice you can follow to the T, and some you may have to figure out on your own. But is the only way to learn about your musts a trial-and-error method? Does it always have to come down to receiving a blow in your face to figure out what you can never compromise on? Not necessarily. Shivangi helps us with invaluable tips to ascertain what our non-negotiables in relationship are going to be like.

1. Know your authentic self 

“From a judgment-free space try to find out who you are. Understand what you value the most and what are some things you are willing to compromise with. You could list out the values you want to live by in the future, the actions required for that, and the limits you need to set. These limits are your non-negotiables,” says Shivangi. 

Engage in some TLC, some self-love. This will help you be in tune with your emotional response system and your intuition. 

 2. Identify your core values

What qualities, principles, or behaviors do you consider essential in a partner? These are your core values and things you cannot compromise with. A person’s values can be made clear and brought to the front through introspection. Shivangi gives some prompts that may help:

• What values did I get from my primary caregivers?
• What values would I like to live by? 
• Which of these am I living by today?
• What according to me are some important values in a relationship?

Related Reading: Freedom In Relationships – What It Means And What It Doesn’t

3. Reflect on past relationships

“All the boys you’ve loved before” and the “ghosts of girlfriends past” are there for a reason! Spend time thinking about the dates you have been on, the previous relationships that worked, and the ones that failed. Think about the questions that follow. These work great at figuring out your non-negotiables in a relationship.

• What were the things that made you dissatisfied, uncomfortable, or conflicted? 
• What were the things that made you stick around? 
• What are the characteristics of a healthy relationship?
• What’s your ideal relationship?
• What are some ideal partner qualities?
• Write an ideal partner description
• Create a wants and needs list in a relationship

4. Observe other people

Look around! There are relationships all around you. The great ones, the boring ones, the miserable ones, the disasters, the ones you feel pity for, the ones that make you jealous. There is something to learn from all of these. What are the qualities that contribute to the success of good relationships? Do these align with your values? That’s your cue to find out what do you want in a relationship and create the list of non-negotiables in relationship. 

5. Trust your gut

If you don’t like something and find it hard to let go, chances are that something about it is in huge conflict with something very important to you. That is your non-negotiable. This is often not apparent and can be difficult to dig up from a mess of tangled emotions. But if you do the work — self-awareness, mindfulness, self-reflection, journaling, patience, and if needed, therapy, you may just locate that value. Once you do, you can avoid the unnecessary pressure of finding a compromise where you should be putting your foot down.

Only you decide which core needs in a relationship are your top priority! Is respecting each other’s family important to you? Are you a vegan and can’t be with a meat-eater? Does jealousy make you extremely uncomfortable? Go ahead, make your list. And then stand your ground, stick to it! That is the secret to a successful relationship.

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If you are already dating a nurse, then you are definitely among the lucky ones. You’ve got yourself a partner who provides care and comfort to those most in need of it, and do it with a smile on their face, no matter no challenging the circumstances. That’s because they do their job with the utmost love, care, and patience. They have a heart that never hardens and they bring comfort, warmth, and protection. The pros exceed the cons when wondering if you should date a nurse.

Well, they can be very busy at times but they can course through difficult situations with ease because their job trains them to be that way. They may not spend quality time with you every day but they are dedicated, hardworking, and compassionate toward strangers. Imagine how much they will adore you once they fall in love with you! If you just met an ER nurse and want to know what it will be like to date them, scroll down and read along.

13 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Nurse

There are many advantages and disadvantages of dating a nurse. Let’s take a look at some of them and also find out what it’s like to have them as your significant other.

1. They could be busier than you 

This one’s a no-brainer. Nurses have extremely erratic schedules, considering they are busy saving people’s lives. It’s even busier for night shift nurses who abandon their sleep to take care of the sick. Don’t expect quick replies from a night nurse and don’t plan any overnight trips, impromptu holidays, dinner dates, or vacations without consulting with them about their schedules.

To put into perspective how busy their schedules can be, here is what a user on Reddit shared, “Yes….they are that busy. Doctors, single nurses, and most hospital staff can’t stop to reply to texts in the middle of a shift. If they are lucky, at some point during their 12-to-24-hour shifts, they might get 15 to 20 minutes to go to the bathroom and eat, sometimes simultaneously. That time needs to be used to take care of themselves. This is their life. It’s not likely going to change anytime soon unless they move to private practice. Your choices are to either accept it or not.” 

Related Reading: 18 Surefire Signs Someone Loves You With All Their Heart

2. They will always be kind to you 

You will never meet anyone kinder and more compassionate than a nurse. They are trained to be so at nursing school. If you date them, they will make sure they understand your perspective and pain because they are used to hearing patients talk about their suffering.

Besides, they will never invalidate your feelings. If that makes you want to go out with one, then there are many dating sites for healthcare workers that you could sign up on. Once you find a match, try to impress them by being kind, compassionate, and altruistic. 

3. They may prioritize their job over spending time with you 

This is one of the disadvantages of dating a nurse – their work comes first, always and every time, because the stakes are literally life and death. Some of the stress from their workplace experiences can spill over to their personal life, and when their loved ones fail to recognize this, it can negatively impact their personal life. Even research has regarded a nurse’s role as stress-filled based on the physical labor, human suffering, work hours, staffing, and difficulty in managing interpersonal relationships.

If you are dating a night nurse, you just have to be understanding of their workload and pressure. Whenever you get time to meet them, don’t bicker about the fact that you aren’t their priority. Just spend quality time together and make the most of those shared moments.

Related Reading: 21 Promising Signs A First Date Went Well

4. They will always care for you and look after you 

Nurses are inherently caring. They comfort patients suffering from pain and illnesses. They also lend a shoulder and provide comfort to the patients’ families who are going through difficult times. If you are dating a nurse, you’ve hit the jackpot because when you fall sick, they will always be there to take care of you. Plus, it saves you a trip to the doctor’s because they already know which medication to give you. 

Show the same care in return by doing things like:

• Taking care of them when they fall sick
• Checking up on their mental health daily
• Dropping by their hospital and surprising them with flowers and brownies 
• Going on a picnic or watching a movie together on weekends or whenever they have off

5. They won’t betray you 

It can be a little difficult to keep up with a night shift nurse considering the two of you have different schedules. When you are sleeping, they are working, and vice versa. This can give rise to mistrust and suspicion. But don’t give in to your suspicion. Night nurses spend most of their time at the hospital with their patients and coworkers.

They deal with the pain of loss every day, which makes them even more empathetic. Hence, there are fewer chances of them cheating on you. Having said that, life is full of temptations. You can’t fully dismiss the idea of infidelity. But the odds of them purposefully hurting you are minimal if they sincerely love you and don’t want to lose you. 

6. They have a strong stomach 

ER nurses are courageous and have strong stomachs. They have seen all kinds of grisly sights. They know how to cope with foul odors and unsettling visuals without losing their composure. If you are an adventurous person, dating a nurse may work well for you because they won’t shy away from going on fun-filled adventures. Go ahead, sign up on some dating sites for healthcare workers, and find your perfect match. 

Related Reading: 10 Reasons A Coffee Date Makes A Great First Date Idea And 5 Tips To Ace It

7. They will offer their wisdom when you most need it 

A nurse dating you will enrich your life in ways more than one because they are full of intelligence and wisdom. You can learn something new from them every day and their knowledge isn’t limited to anatomy. They are just as well-versed in human emotions as well. They are experienced in handling nervous patients. They are skilled at consoling people who have lost their loved ones.

In simple words, they can read the room and act accordingly. Whether you’re dating a night nurse or one who works the ER during day time, you are among the lucky ones because you get to learn so much about the human mind and body from your partner. 

8. They will be your savior when you are stuck in a difficult situation 

Most people don’t know this but nurses are great at solving problems because they think creatively and ask the right questions. They can look at things from your perspective and come up with solutions to tackle obstacles and relationship problems, no matter how big or daunting. This can be a win-win situation for you if you want to date a nurse. If you and your partner are quarreling and find yourselves facing a difficult situation, you can count on them to work through it skillfully. 

9. They are resilient 

According to research, nurse resilience contains a complex and dynamic process that changes over time and according to the situation. It embodies not only personal attributes but also external resources and describes a nurse’s ability to adapt positively to stress and adversity. That’s how they stay positive even in the face of hardships. 

Nursing students learn to practice self-care and regularly journal their feelings to control their emotions from the beginning of their careers. They know it’s not good to bottle up feelings. Rest assured, if you are in a relationship with a nurse, their strength of character will drive you to become a better person.

10. They appreciate all the little things you do for them 

Nurses are just like other human beings. Even they love to be adored, admired, and appreciated. You can make them feel loved and valued by doing little things like cooking for them and showing up on time. You have to respect their time because they have abandoned their sleep to meet you since they spend sleepless nights at the hospital. 

Some other such things you can do include:

• Dropping a text every now and then without expecting them to reply quickly 
• Use words of affirmation to remind them how smart and beautiful they are 
• Give them a massage after a long day at work

Related Reading: 15 Traits Of A High-Value Woman – Tips On How To Become A One

11. They will listen to all your blues and woes

Active listening is an essential aspect of nursing. It is also one of the best qualities to have in a romantic partner. Nurses listen to the patients to find out what exactly is bothering them. Similarly, they will put their phone down and listen to you when you speak your heart out. In addition to that, your feelings and thoughts will also be validated. 

If you are one of the cops dating a nurse and don’t know how to be a good listener (or just a person who doesn’t excel at active listening that your nurse partner seems to have mastered), here are some tips to become a good listener:

• Don’t interrupt them when they are talking 
• Listen without judging them 
• Don’t start planning what to say next while they are speaking
• Try to put yourself in their shoes
• Don’t force your thoughts and opinions on them

12. They are good at communicating

Nurses are good at communicating because they are used to talking to their patients in a calm and respectable manner. They are trusted by others and can read body language as well. This means, with a nurse dating you, you don’t have to worry about communication gaps and misunderstandings. 

They will freely express their thoughts when they are with the person they love and trust the most. Besides, they are easily approachable. So, you can spill your heart out to them without worrying about judgment or ridicule.

13. You must let them have their alone time 

It’s not easy being a nurse and striking a work-life balance. Besides managing personal relationships, they also have to take care of their mental health and physical well-being. They can’t let their job consume them lest they find themselves staring down the burnout barrel.

According to a survey, almost 62% of nurses experience burnout. It is even more common among young nurses (under the age of 25). That’s why it’s crucial that they spend time alone doing the things they love. You can’t force them to ditch their me-time and make you their top priority. Respect their choices and they will love you forever. 

Why Are Nurses The Best To Date?

Dating a nurse is like winning the lottery. They are the best to date and fall in love with because:

• They follow a healthy lifestyle and they will encourage you to do so as well
• They are both physically and mentally strong
• They are flexible and trustworthy 
• They know when to leave you alone and when to shower you with love and happiness
• They are thoughtful, considerate, and kind 
• They won’t easily give up on you 

The two of you will have fights just like any other couple. The difference here is that you have a problem-solver as your partner. Their sense of humor will keep things light when there is a new lot of tension between the two of you. They will light up your world and they will give their all without expecting anything in return.

FAQs

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What are the emojis guys use when they love you? In this age of modern hieroglyphics, emojis help express what you can’t say. Texting has become more expressive with emojis and it can certainly make interactions with romantic interests or partners a lot easier. Can’t find the right words for deep feelings? Emojis to the rescue. We all rely on them to convey our emotions in text messages and men are no exception.

Often misinterpreted and multi-layered with meaning, this system of communication with emojis has helped introverts smoothly avoid conversation and extroverts illustrate their already overflowing rush of words. These could be the kissy face emoji, the heart eyes emoji, or the hugging face emoji. The options are endless. Emojis have made life colorful and painful at the same time, as your upended smiley might be construed as torture by hanging upside down instead of abstract expression of cuteness.

Let us today explore this quizzical messaging technique by which some men might have professed their love and you completely missed out on that. Vice versa, men are alerted that using these emojis might mean you are sending out signals of pure adore without intending to. Let’s proceed, shall we? By the way, did you know a day is dedicated to these wonderful emojis?

20 Emojis Guys Use When They Love You

There is no doubt that those cute emojis written at the end of a quick sentence do a lot to lift your mood. Sometimes, guys use emojis to start a conversation with a girl too. But then there is a difference between emojis guys send when they are being casual or friendly with you and when they’re in love. So, what emojis do guys use if they like you?

The answer can help you decode the true feelings of that special person who may be sending out mixed signals. With some careful observation, you can figure out if he wants to be a part of your love life or is just a casual friend. Guys use emojis to flirt and stir up the romance and make you feel happy. For example, when a guy sends a blowing kiss emoji 😘, it brightens your mood and makes your heart skip a beat. Here’s a list of emojis guys use to flirt.

Related Reading: 15 Reasons Your Man Never Texts You First But Always Replies To You

1. What does ❤️ mean from a man?

A guy in love will go all out with the huge red bobbing hearts . Know that he risks his masculinity by choosing to send that very red and very alive heart ❤️ your way, thus breaking the macho rules of not over-expressing himself. This could be the most transparent and direct way of expressing his feelings to you and that’s exactly what he aims to do when he sends you this emoji.

The throbbing red heart emoji is everything love. But do guys send heart emojis to to friends? Yes! It could also be a simple way of showing affection. Here are the various possible romantic emoji meanings:

• “I love you”
• “You make my heart happy”
• “Thank you for being in my life”

A young college student once told us that her boyfriend was able to carry out full-length conversations without using any text at all. The more you get to know someone, the easier it is to find a deeper meaning in what they are saying through just emojis. The throbbing heart emoji ❤️ does help you say a lot.

2. 😘 meaning from a guy

Well, this is one of the trickier smileys. If your boyfriend or a guy you like is sending you kissing smileys 😘, what could that mean? Is he trying to express his sexual or emotional desires? Having been enveloped in the “think with their penis” idiom, men are often misunderstood when using this smiley 😘. But this is one of the emojis guys use when they love you.

A face throwing a kiss emoji by a guy is decoded as affection. It’s a sign that he truly loves you. The common response they receive is the shy monkey 🙊 covering his eyes or slap hands or lingerie emoticon. Wake up, girls! He is writing you a Keats-ian verse through that singular smiley blowing a little heart off its lips. Yes, he could be in love and that is why he is sending you a blowing kiss emoji 😘. Till you get to the real kissing, the blowing kiss emoji 😘 works wonders.

3. What does 🍆 mean from a man?

The brinjal or eggplant 🍆 emoticon, often followed by a blushing face emoji or sometimes by a kiss mark emoji (usually attempted by the more experienced kind), does not demean you to your gender role of cooking him an eggplant casserole. Do not make the mistake of lecturing him on heteronormative conditioning just yet. The eggplant 🍆 is a curious case of the analogy drawn between body parts and vegetables (almost reminiscent of metaphysical conceit).

Here’s what the flirty emoji 🍆 from a guy really means. He is:

• Expressing his desire to make sweet love to you
• Probably fantasizing about something kinky
• Silently hinting at an exciting experience (he may also use the peach emoji)
• Trying to understand your inclination toward adventure in the bedroom

4. 💑 emoji meaning from a guy

This couple smiley 💑 is simple in the eyes of the inexperienced. But, look closely before you conclude. The smiley depicts two people with a heart in between. Now, in the utopian world of emojis, the world of queer and the heterosexual ego coexist in perfect harmony, hence the male and female are differentiated ever so subtly.

The multiple combinations of this couple emoji 💑 include a man and a woman, a man and a man, and a woman and a woman combination. Without close inspection, they look the same. This is essentially an “I love you” emoji. But hey, do not assume that the couple emoji 💑 indicates that he wants to marry you someday.

5. What does 👰 mean?

This is how Tiffany and Tanishq might be losing business in their respective markets. The unemployed and the poorly paid or the majority of the population, cannot be pressured into spending money for a proposal anymore. No one can deny the innocent cuteness of bride emojis 👰.

Related Reading: How To Differentiate Whether He Loves You Or Just Lusts For You

With their hypnotic unblinking eyes, they have convinced humanity that a bride smiley 👰 can even revive the heart of a puppy (filter) hater. So he drops the emoticon of the ring and then the bride 👰. The message is simple; he wants to marry you in the privacy of WhatsApp encryption. This is forever. Yes, it’s an emoji asking for love and marriage. 

6. 😉 secret meaning from a guy

If a guy sends you a winky face, does he like you? A Reddit user wrote, “I think that the purpose of a winking emoji is to add an element of sexuality to a conversation i.e.. Lets watch a movie means I want to watch a movie, Lets watch a movie 😉 means lets have sex, however my friend feels like a winky face is more of a silly thing like a joke or something.” In our opinion, the winking emoji usually means he:

• Is flirting with you
• Wants to add a certain sense of mystery/intrigue
• Wants to keep you guessing his true feelings about you

7. 🥰 meaning from a guy

Guys use the three hearts and smiling face 🥰 emoji to express love, care, and affection toward you. In simple words, 🥰 emoji meaning from a guy is: “You’ve warmed my heart”. It’s a sign that you hold a special place in his heart and he genuinely loves and cares for you.

8. 💋 (kiss mark) emoji

Evidently enough, the mouth emoji from a guy is an obvious sign he feels deeply for you. It’s exactly what it looks like – a kiss – and it screams “I love you” emoji loud and clear. How to respond to this emoji from a guy? Seal it with a 💋 kiss back to him, if you feel the same way about him. He may send the emoji as:

9. 😌 is one of the emojis guys use when they love you

This meaning is a ‘sense of relief’. If a guy sends the relieved face emoji to you, it means that he has wanted to share something with you for a long time and, now that he has, he feels good about it. You know that feeling you get when you finally tell your favorite person you love something you’ve been hiding or keeping from them since forever? That sense of relief is what this emoji 😌 is used to express. 

The guy had probably been fighting his feelings for you but is now letting you know the deep affection he has for you, which is why he has sent this emoji. It also shows that:

• He cares about you and your wellbeing
• He gets upset if you’re not okay. If you’re fine, he feels fine too
• He’s emotionally connected to you and wants to know if everything is okay in your life

10. 😏 (smirk face) emoji

The smirking face 😏 usually indicates him flirting. This love emoticon for texting usually has a romantic and sexual connotation. But it could also mean he is:

• Being playful, funny, and witty with you
• Trying to play hard to get
• Very much into you

Related Reading: 10 Things Every Girl Wants Her Man To Do

11. 😍 (heart eyes) emoji

One of the 20 emojis guys use when they love you is this. Guys use the heart eyes 😍 emoji to express their excitement about seeing you. If you’ve sent him a selfie and he responded with this 😍 emoji, then know that he is absolutely mesmerized and stunned by how you look. He finds you irresistible. The two hearts instead of eyes are his way of saying:

• “I love how amazing you look in that dress”
• “You are beautiful”
• “You’re a treat for the eyes ”

12. 🙈 (monkey) emoji

The monkey see-no-evil 🙈 emoji indicates shyness. If you’re still trying to figure out what emojis do guys use when they love you, take note. The monkey see-no-evil 🙈 emoji shows that:

• Your guy is quite the shy kind when it comes to revealing his feelings
• He probably blushes too hard while sending messages to you
• He doesn’t know how you’ll react uses this emoji to cover up for anything stupid that he says

13. 😅 (cold sweat) emoji

The sweat emoji with cheesy grin is used to denote first date nerves/awkwardness/embarrassment. Or, it is used to indicate the particular kind of relief experienced after narrowly avoiding disaster. Here are some other emojis and their meanings for your reference:

• 😰 conveys such feelings as sadness, disappointment, fear, and anxiety
• 🥵 means that he is hot temperature-wise or finds you very attractive
• meaning from a guy is a bittersweet feeling/mixed emotions

14. 🙃 (upside-down face) emoji

What does it mean when guys use 🙃 emoji? It means they’re being sarcastic/ironic. It could also be an attempt to convey passive-aggressiveness. Here are some examples:

• “Very cute Instagram post with your male bestie 🙃”
• “The date was scheduled for 6 PM, just saying 🙃”
• “You’re forgetting your anniversary, are you going to wish me? 🙃”

15. 👀 (eyes) emoji

What emojis do guys use if they like you? meaning from a guy is that he finds you attractive. The side-eyeing could also mean he is:

Related Reading: 35 Cute Questions To Ask Your Crush While Texting

• Relishing the drama as it happens
• Munching on some popcorn while watching conflict unfold
• Saying “Pay attention to this!” or “Look at this!” 

16. 😶‍🌫️(face in clouds) emoji meaning

It symbolizes that he’s unable to concentrate and is constantly distracted by you. Also, it could mean that he is lost and cannot find a way out, both literally and figuratively. Unable to figure out a cute response? Try subtle flirty texts. Keep it short. You can try sending:

• “Tea, coffee, or whiskey in the morning?”
• “You could text me back or just ask me out to dinner. Just saying”
• “I’m terrible at small talk, but I make a killer playlist”

17. 🤗 (hug) emoji

Ever gotten a hug emoji from a guy and you took it lightly? Don’t. Go on and respond with a happy laughing face. These emojis add layers to conversations. In fact, according to studies, using emojis can:

• Add extra emotional/contextual meaning to fix serious communication issues
• Enhance the attractiveness of the message to receivers
• Help users in tone adjustment and conversation management
• Play a role in managing and maintaining interpersonal relationships

When a guy sends you ‘two people hugging’ emojis, all he wants to do is reach out with both his arms wide open. A Reddit user wrote, “On some devices (like my phone) the colors bleed together so the shape is weird. I thought it was a heart coming out of a tissue box for the longest time. When I see it on my computer, one person is darker blue than the other and is a lot more obvious that it’s a hug emoji.”

18.😋 meaning from a guy

Social media influencer Avantii M laughs when she narrates how emojis enhanced her dating experience. “I once met this really cute guy who started showing an interest in me. I was attracted to him but obviously wanted to take it slow. So, I would only respond to his long texts with emojis and a few words. This kept him wondering whether I was reciprocating his feelings or not.

“A simple smile when I was impressed, a wide-eyed expression to convey shock, a meh look when I was bored. Thankfully, all the emoticons and flirty emojis kept the conversation going,” she chuckles. “It added the right amount of spice during our addictive flirty texting phase.” Adding to that, according to Google, here’s meaning from a guy:

• It’s playful, cheeky, sassy
• It can imply a joke, or a bit of lasciviousness
• The zany wink conveys goofiness/cuteness

How to respond to emoji from a guy? A Reddit user wrote, “He wants to spend it with you. It’s playful meaning most likely sexual. Give him a flirt back. Wait… why are you still reading?? Go get your man.” You can use a kissy face or smiley eyes in your response.

19. 💗 meaning from a guy

The American actor Aziz Ansari confessed in his book Modern Romance, ““It was brutal to read. After two years the relationship was ended with a “:/,” not even a fully fleshed-out emoji. There…” But the pink heart is a fully fleshed out emoji. And here’s meaning from a guy:

• It can denote a sense of playfulness/platonic relationship
• It’s also used to convey romantic love/affection
• He loves you if he says something like “I can’t stop thinking about you 💕”

How to respond to ❤️ emoji from a guy? Start with a simple and short, “Aww, you’re just too funny!” or a “Thanks, cutie” initially. These are important flirting tips for beginners. See, no rocket science, right? If he responds well to these, you know you can dive into deeper waters and use blushing emojis/angel emojis! To start slow, here are innocent flirty texts for him:

• “So, what does your ideal date look like?”
• “Hey, good looking. What do you suggest I do for fun this weekend?”
• “Good night sweetie. Talk to you tomorrow”

20. 🤩 is another emoji guys use when they flirt

Do guys send heart emojis to friends? A Reddit user wrote, “Guy here. I use smileys sparingly. I feel like too little and you appear cold and professional. Too much and you seem a bit dumb and over-emotional. I do think that women use emojis a bit more than men, on average.”

“I just hate it when I say something that isn’t funny, and they respond with 🤣😅😂😭… Just makes me feel like you’re dumb – sorry. If it was really funny, then fine. But it needs to be somewhat appropriate and relevant. Don’t go all grandma and 👯‍♀️🦖 without context either.”

So, on how to respond to ❤️ emoji from a guy or when he’s showing off his dry sense of humor, take care that you don’t fit in smiley faces that don’t fit the context. Also, here’s what the star-eyed emoji means:

• He’s intimidated/fascinated/star-struck by you
• If you met virtually, he can’t wait to see you in real life
• You make him speechless/at a loss of words when you’re around

In today’s world emojis are used to convey a whole range of emotions – happiness, sadness, relief, trouble, anger, frustration, care, affection, fear, love, pain, shock, curiosity, anxiety, and so much more. From love to marriage to having a baby, everything can be conveyed in emojis. A lot can be understood through the way guys text when they like you. When a man wants to talk about or express love, it’s truly cute the emojis that he chooses to send. We hope the above list helps you in figuring out the different emojis guys use when they like/love you.

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