“Guess who got yelled at for blinking the last time we took a family photo? Yup. No chance of blinking this time around.”
(submitted by IG @joekim321)
The post Eyes Wide Open appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
Team Awkward
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Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.

“Guess who got yelled at for blinking the last time we took a family photo? Yup. No chance of blinking this time around.”
(submitted by IG @joekim321)
The post Eyes Wide Open appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
Team Awkward
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There is a gene called TP53 – it’s referred to as the ‘guardian of the genome’ – it is a tumor suppressor gene and prevents cancer of all types. Humans have two copies and if one is broken/mutated it causes an inherited condition called Li Fraumeni. People with this have a very very high risks for cancer, and the condition can be passed down in families. Elephants have 20 copies of TP53 and therefore rarely get cancer. The Li Fraumeni foundation uses the elephant as its mascot and hopefully we can someday figure out how to replace faulty TP53 genes for these families.
Perhaps my favourite biology fact is about pharmacogenetics, how your genetics determines the efficacy of drugs on your system due to prevalence of receptors of different types that the drugs target to produce an effect:
“90% of drugs only work on 30-50% of the population.”
I find it so truly wild. But most people I’ve talked to about it seem to agree that some drug or other doesn’t work for them. This really highlights how much of a process finding the right drug for a person is.
I had a lecture on this in uni in about 2016 and it said the future of pharmacology is individual genetic screens for drug effectiveness meaning people don’t have to keep trying different drugs until they find the one that works, you would be tested then your doctor would have that info.
I just hope it overcomes the pushback from Big Pharma in my lifetime cause it would be a true game-changer.
While it might sound like a cross between dystopian fiction and body horror, some researchers believe that there is a lot of potential to store data and information in our DNA. After all, in one sense, that’s exactly what DNA’s actual function is. That being said, most of us probably don’t want to walk around with our own DNA turned into a sort of USB flash stick when we can literally buy this device in most stores.
Comically, as sci-fi as this idea sounds, it might already be out of date. Research into this topic has found that encoding data into our DNA is not only more costly but less reliable and slower to read than the various means of data storage we already have. So if you really want to get cyberpunk, perhaps get a QR code tattooed or investigate the wonderful world of chipping your palms.
That if you unraveled all of the DNA in your body, and stretched it out in a straight line, you’d be dead.
Cheetahs are extremely inbred. They had a massive bottleneck about 10,000 years ago and had too little diversity to fully recover.
Since navel oranges have no seeds, they are all clones of the original mutated fruit discovered by a Brazilian monk a century ago. The billions and billions of navel oranges that have been grown, sold and consumed since are all genetically identical.
If you set aside ethics and set out to do it, it would only take 33 generations to create a human being who was the descendant of everyone currently alive and able to have children.
Also, pedigree collapse: no living person has as many unique ancestors as they mathematically should. Every person has, biologically, 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, etc, doubling every generation. 30 generations back without any degree of inbreeding would require over a billion unique 28x great grandparents, more than the entire world population for 1100 AD. Every single human’s family tree is full of people marrying and having children with cousins of some genetically-unimportant degree over the last thousand years.
For simplicity, let’s say your mother is 50% Chinese & 50% Spanish. That does **not** mean you are 25% of each.
On paper it would seem so but you can have any combination of those two equaling to 50%. It’s not a clean cut in half. It’s a *random* 50% given and 50% not. Although, yes there are dominate genes that can give all the kids a certain nose shape or eye color. Still, you and your siblings might get these DNA combos from mom:
– you: 30% C & 20% S
– brother: 12% C & 38% S
– sister: 5% C & 45% S
So if you ever wondered why your sister looks more Spanish than you its because genetics wise she just is more Spanish.
1. Most genetics studies were, and are still, done on white western populations. Some things that we “know” about genetics turn out to not work so well in non-white or non-western populations. Loose example: diagnostic tests to check for certain diseases sometimes misdiagnose Americans with African ancestry, because sometimes we don’t actually know exactly how certain diseases will look in non-European ancestry patients, we just assume it will be the same.
2. Africa, as a whole, is the most genetically diverse continent for human genetics. Humans outside of Africa went through a population bottleneck, resulting in an overall lack of diversity moving forward. The human blender of genetics in Europe just didn’t have many starting ingredients. There are things called linkage disequilibrium maps, which basically map out sections of the genome that are usually found inherited together. In Europe, these maps are quite “chunky”, with large identifiable sections that are sort of reliably found intact. But in Africa, the blender was always running and never had a bottleneck, so those maps are basically a much finer puree, with a lot more mixing. This presents certain challenges, as many studies rely on those maps to make predictions, and it’s harder to do that when the map for Africa as a whole is basically way more complex.
3. Everyone’s cancer is its own unique genetic disease. There is no one true single disease called “lung cancer”, just as there is no one single true human genome. Everyone is genetically unique (yes even identical twins), and every cancer is unique.
4. Chromothripsis is a thing where a chromosome pretty much shatters and gets stuck back together all out of order. And… this is sometimes okay. There are cases of people who have chromosomes that have undergone chromothripsis, and they have mild to moderate symptoms, but they’re not dead, which is miraculous.
5. Remember in biology class when you learn about mitosis? And there’s that step called metaphase where all the chromosomes line up in a line before being separated into two new cells? That spot in the middle of the “X”-shaped chromosomes where the spindles attach to line them up is called the centromere. And it’s sort of mysterious black hole of genetics. There aren’t usually any genes there, just a chaotic cluster-f**k of repetitive sequence that gets chopped forwards, backwards, repeated 7 times, swapped around and repeated again, etc etc in an area that’s hundreds of thousands of nucleotides long. But what’s even crazier is that we don’t really know *why* they are how or where they are, because *you don’t need the wacky wasteland of repeats for them to work*. Almost all centromeres in all animals look like this, but there are exceptions. A very notable exception is that very very rarely in humans, a “mar-del” chromosome can form where a chromosome accidentally loops on itself and pinches (think of that heart thing people do with their thumb and forefinger), resulting in a circular chromosome that still has its centromere, and a “butterfly” chromosome that does not. Without a centromere, a chromosome can’t be duplicated into daughter cells successfully, and cells can’t live without the genes on that butterfly chromosome so this should be lethal if it happens early on in development. But surprise, a centromere can and has spontaneously formed on the butterfly chromosome, making them tiny, viable chromosomes that work pretty much fine! But like I said this is super rare, with only a few recorded cases ever. Centromeres in general are very cool and very mysterious.
6. Everything about modern next-generation genetic sequencing is super interesting, yet not well known to the general public. I won’t brain dump about it, but if you want to know more, ask and I will!
not everyone may know is that your genes play a role in determining whether you are more likely to be a morning person or a night owl
Birthing identical twins is not an inherited trait. It’s random. Fraternal twinning is inherited, but only from mother to daughter. My MIL ‘took credit’ for me having identical twins because she had fraternal twin siblings. When I explained that genetics proved her wrong she was not having it!! 🤣
When you’re pregnant, bits of DNA from your baby invade your body and settle all over permanently – including in your brain. Researches found this by looking for male DNA in the brains of deceased 70 year olds. Interestingly, mouse studies have also shown that fetal cells within the mother have restorative properties and will rush to places like the heart, kidneys, lungs, liver if it’s injured and can even become cells that begin beating. One of the theories I have seen but I don’t know if anyone knows for certain if this is true is that these cells enter our bodies so a ‘host’ is less likely to reject the parasite baby.
I’m a geneticist with a mediocre master’s degree in biology and currently pursuing a PhD in Bioinformatics. Here are some insights:
1. The accuracy of consumer and clinical genetic tests is often questionable due to the rapid pace of scientific advancements outpacing their application in the industry. The notable exceptions are information about Neanderthal ancestry (which is significant enough to have earned a Nobel Prize in Medicine) and a few critical mutations like the sickle cell variant and others related to blood.
2. Genetically, most humans are nearly identical, with differences being incredibly minute. This means that, barring age and sex, achieving success in various fields – whether it’s social, intelligence, or physical appearance – is possible without genetic modifications.
Everyone likely has a unique genetic trait that gives them a significant advantage, however. This is currently identifiable only in a lab setting. Understanding your unique trait, which often involves the expression of certain molecules, might require professional scientific interpretation.
3. Many severe genetic diseases, such as insulin-dependent diabetes, are only about 50% determined by genetics. Factors like early developmental conditions, including a mother’s diet during early pregnancy and infections, play a paramount role.
4. Despite common belief, Neanderthals were not a separate species but rather a part of the human family. For perspective, Europeans and the Khoisan people of South Africa have been genetically divergent for about 300,000 years, not much less than the 500,000-year divergence between humans and Neanderthals.
5. Factors beyond genetics, such as living in a highly controlled environment (like a prison), having access to specific nutrition, owning a car and a separate house, and engaging in mental activities like language learning, math, statistics, and team video games, can significantly impact personal development. Genetics helps us understand and appreciate the influence of these non-genetic factors.
The field of genetics is incredibly dynamic and continually evolving, offering many more fascinating insights.
Genetic chimera is arguably the most interesting condition. It is possible (and documented) for a woman to give natural birth but the baby not match her DNA test.
Essentially, 2 fertilized eggs merge at a very early stage and developing into a single organism. Different parts of the body comprised of obe or the other genome.
It’s most commonly discovered in domestic animals that have unexplainable color combinations, often (but not always) divided symmetrically.
Twins can be half identical. Like same egg split but two different sperms so they share about 75% genetic similarities compared to 100% in identical twins and 50% in fraternal twins/siblings.
They can even be boy and girl twins.
Trauma can be inherited (look up transgenerational trauma).
So if you feel more sensitive than most people it might be because your grandma experienced something horrible.
On average it takes three generations to heal a trauma if I remember correctly. But only if properly treated and the parents do not retraumatize their kids with their unconscious trauma-responses. This way unhealthy behaviors would become the norm and eventually become genetically preferred automatic behavior for future generations.
One in 40 Ashkenazi Jewish women has a BRCA gene mutation. Mutations in BRCA genes raise a person’s risk for getting breast cancer at a young age, and also for getting ovarian and other cancers. That is why Ashkenazi Jewish women are at higher risk for breast cancer at a young age.
There are more combinations than just XX and XY.
And some of the variations have no outward signs, so you could have one of them and have no idea without genetic testing.
Pretty much everybody is clueless about 99.9% of genetics.
Get tested for hereditary high cholesterol (familial hypercholesterolemia). It’s a comparatively common genetic disorder.
It shows next to no symptoms but can clog your arteries and kill you, no matter how healthy your diet and lifestyle. It rarely skips a generation.
The treatment is usually a medication called statins.
Humans are closer genetically to bonobos than chimpanzees.
I wish I was a bonobo.
The green eyed gene is a recessive gene when compared to brown eyed gene; it is dominant when compared to blue eye gene.
UV gives you cancer because literally makes your DNA stick so tightly the only way to fix it is remove the entire section then “guess” what was there. More this happens, more chance cell becomes cancerous.
Bacteria don’t have this polymerase repair so it’s why UV kills them or mutates them.
Plant one – Hexaploid wheat possesses 42 chromosomes derived from its three ancestral genomes. The 21 pairs of chromosomes can be further divided into seven groups of six chromosomes (one chromosome pair being derived from each of the three ancestral genomes)… This is mainly because of how much humans have bred it it’s literally inbred.
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Indrė Lukošiūtė
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NEW YORK—Buffalo sauce dripping from its beak like blood from a baron’s walrus mustache, a local pigeon reportedly delighted in eating a chicken wing Friday as if it were a sophisticated German cannibal enjoying his forbidden delicacy. According to sources, the pigeon’s eyes took on a crazed glint, and it savored the supple tissues of its brethren fowl in a manner similar to an eccentric billionaire in a Black Forest hunting cabin indulging in human flesh. Reports confirmed that, not unlike a reclusive Bavarian nobleman who has taken in a lost American tourist after their car broke down in a thunderstorm only to serve them up to his esteemed dinner guests as a most exotic and taboo feast, the pigeon daintily picked the meat from the bone of its fellow bird with depraved glee. At press time, much like the German cannibal, the pigeon was said to have developed a peculiar and ravenous taste that could only be satiated by murdering and devouring its own kind.

Making a turtle shadow is actually a very in-demand skill in the job market. Other highly highly sought after skills include proficiency in speaking fluent gibberish, imitating the sound of a dial-up internet connection, and sculpting intricate structures out of chewing gum.
liver
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An online trend in which people label impulsive cleaning as “manic cleaning” has raised concerns from those with actual manic experiences who feel the casual use of mental health terms diminishes the severity of conditions like bipolar disorder.
Many people have experienced a sudden urge to clean or dedicated a specific period during the year to drastically wash their home, such as spring cleaning. Yet, some individuals have found a questionable way to brand the need to instantaneously cleanse their surroundings.
Some oblivious people on TikTok have been using serious psychiatric terms to describe a relatively ordinary behavior. The latest consists of labeling random bursts of motivation to tidy up as being manic cleaning.
These content creators have been recording themselves frantically cleaning cluttered closets and scrubbing dirty dishes, while people in the comments agree that they also experience this mania, USA Today reported.
Image credits: freepik
TikToker Jessica Roof, for example, posted a video that’s been viewed over eight million times where she was seen walking into a room and dropping a full basket of laundry.
She captioned: “When you’ve been manic cleaning for the past 8 hours and go to tackle the 3 baskets of laundry but then feel the switch flip.”
Although intense cleaning spells are common behaviors among people experiencing mania, experts say they last much longer than a couple of hours, aren’t done out of boredom, and can be followed by a severe depression that can last weeks to months, unlike what’s discussed online, USA Today reported.
Image credits: jcomp
According to the Cleveland Clinic, mania is a condition in which you have a period of abnormally elevated, extreme changes in your mood or emotions, energy level, or activity level. This highly energized level of physical and mental activity and behavior must be a change from your usual self and be noticeable by others.
25-year-old Hanno Ortiz, from Kansas, USA, was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, meaning she experiences both manic and depressive episodes, as well as delusions and hallucinations.
She told USA Today: “It is absolutely insensitive and invalidating to see mental health language being used as a cute little adjective or referring to something completely normal.”
She continued: “Unfortunately, serious symptoms of mental illness have become trendy and have lost their meaning.”
“So people who suffer from mania are being spoken over by people who act on pretty normal impulsive behavior.”
Image credits: freepik
According to Hanno, manic cleaning videos have been contributing to misinformation about mania, as people associate it with ordinary behaviors and ignore other, more debilitating symptoms.
David Miklowitz, a psychiatry professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, USA, explained that a person experiencing a manic episode might deep-clean their apartment at midnight on two hours of sleep or spam former classmates with messages asking to meet after years of no contact.
Rehab Center NorthStar Transitions notes that mania is typically accompanied by periods of depression, thus portraying symptoms of bipolar I disorder. Manic episodes include various symptoms, such as racing thoughts, exaggerated ideas, rapid speech, restlessness, and irritability.
Image credits: master1305
According to Healthline, people with bipolar I disorder experience more severe highs (mania) and may not have depressive episodes. While people with bipolar II experience a less severe high (hypomania), their diagnosis includes depressive episodes.
Professor Miklowitz explained: “There’s the assumption that being in a high state of frenetic activity means you’re bipolar.”
“It’s like when someone thinks they have ADHD because they have trouble focusing.”
“But people don’t realize the other part of the disorder, which is when you fall into a severe depression.”
“We’re not talking about just getting tired of cleaning.”
“We’re talking about having trouble getting out of bed, not being able to sleep even though you want to, losing appetite, or feeling suicidal.”
Image credits: testies123
The psychiatry professor revealed that random bursts of motivation to clean were considered manic only if they were unusual, noticeable, occurred every day for a week or more, and affected a person’s daily life, such as their ability to work or care for their children.
He also said that these episodes had to always be accompanied by other symptoms, like feeling euphoric or extra talkative. He further noted: “True episodes of mania are very painful and disruptive.
“It’s not fun, and people can end up arrested or in the hospital.
“I know that people online are just joking around, but taking a label like mania and applying it to an everyday behavior can diminish what it’s like to really have bipolar disorder.”
Image credits: testies123
José Menchón, a psychiatrist and director of Centre Medic BM in Barcelona, Spain, said people who have frequent cleaning sprees may exhibit obsessive-compulsive symptoms instead, which include intense urges to be orderly, as per USA Today.
The National Institute of Mental Health describes obsessive-compulsive disorder, commonly referred to as “OCD,” as a long-lasting disorder in which a person experiences uncontrollable and recurring thoughts (obsessions), engages in repetitive behaviors (compulsions), or both. People with OCD have time-consuming symptoms that can cause significant distress or interfere with daily life.
Professor Miklowitz suggested that a person should ask themselves: “Do my cleaning sprees interfere with my job, relationships, or physical or mental health?”
@testies123 when everything jn my life is chaos i control the one thing i can which is my space #xyzabc ♬ Plastic Beach (feat. Mick Jones and Paul Simonon) – Gorillaz
“Next, consider whether you have other manic symptoms, such as no desire to sleep and high energy that’s out of character for you.”
“If you are experiencing at least three manic or depressive symptoms, seek a mental health evaluation so you can receive proper treatment, if necessary, which may involve a mix of medication and talk therapy.”
The psychiatry expert revealed that doing so was especially helpful for people who have a family history of bipolar disorder or OCD, as both disorders can be passed down through generations.
Image credits: b0btaildog
He added: “With any psychiatric disorder, you don’t want to just take one behavior and say, ‘That’s what I have because I do it.’”
“All illnesses are associated with normal behaviors to an extent.”
He also urged people to be mindful of the language they use to describe mental health, such as avoiding phrases like “schizo,” “delulu,” and “I’m so ADHD.”
@b0btaildog that hurt my legs so bad 😭 #grwm #fyp #cleantok #cleaning #ootd #roomtour #relatable ♬ kai bomboclaat – 6’2 with dreads btw
Sarah Victor, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at Texas Tech University, told USA Today: “They oversimplify, and in many cases, are inaccurate reflections of the experience of these types of problems.
“Many people already feel ashamed about living with mental illness or other problems, and these terms can exacerbate that.”
Nilou Nekou, a licensed marriage and family therapist and chief clinical officer at Alter Health Group in California, emphasized the difference between “manic” and “impulsive,” The New York Post reported.
@cherryemojigirl THE VOICES #fyp ♬ original sound – LoveSoft
@heyyrobin I SCRUBBED THE BATH TUB and WALLS. MICAH IS PROUD, lol 😆 #griefjourney #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth ♬ answering machine – ❀
She told Fox News Digital in an interview: “I think the word ‘manic’ is attention-seeking.
“It does draw a negative component to it because if somebody is really dysfunctional, or they have that diagnosis, this could be a dangerous label [to use] on social media.”
Bipolar disorder affects approximately 5.7 million adult Americans, or about 2.6% of the US population age 18 and older every year, as per the National Institute of Mental Health.
The institute further estimates that 1.2% of U.S. adults had OCD in the past year. Past year prevalence of OCD was higher for females (1.8%) than for males (0.5%).
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Donata Leskauskaite
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In this week's episode we have some more
adventures in shipping and misadventures with dates.
I just
asked "Hey Google, how many days are there
in February THIS year" and they answered confidently "28 days."
I briefly considered autoplaying that query on this page to see
how many of your devices would answer correctly, but then I
decided I should autoplay a command to order me a pizza and
then I thought better of the whole thing.
Following up on an
earlier submission,
Dave P.
reports
"Much to my amazement, the package did arrive in time for Christmas, but just barely.
USPS really came through on their end, taking less than 2 days to deliver the package,
after the original delivery service took 12 days to find the USPS dropoff facility."
Hah! Somebody owes me a nickel!
Peter S.
on the other hand, had a less-stellar experience with the competition.
"Not sure if I can trust UPS ever again. They didn't just lose my package, but also their homepage."
Supporter of the arts
Chris
remark'd
"I know February 2024 is supposed to be longer than usual,
but I expected just one extra day, not over 330…"
Old-timer
Barry M.
wistfully remembers this movie released in a year that never existed.
"man, that's a real classic," he said softly.
Wasn't that movie title actually "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle?" Two error'ds in one!
Finally, a new anonymous (that is to say,
previous anonymous submissions were from different anonymice)
sent us a lovely photo of a hill and a fully charged battery,
exclaiming
"I don't think I was supposed to see this class name. I wonder if I could inject something by escaping strings in my message!"
Be careful, it might be a trap.
Lyle Seaman
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An increasing number of people advocate being open about salaries as a way to fix pay iniquities and encourage employees to ask for more compensation, but there are many cultural and professional taboos around the practice. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of salary transparency.

Sharing logic behind compensation makes it easier for employees to understand why they’re worth less

Employees might not respect CEO if they knew he only makes $20 million a year

Dicking around all day now a form of wage protest

Jack still going to eat more than his fair share of donuts every Friday

Always nice to have another thing to be cripplingly insecure about

One less sexy little secret

Interns will find out who’s gaining the most experience

Rude to discuss how much you make in mixed company

Helps employees determine which side of angry mob to be on

If handled incorrectly pay transparency could result in workers getting fairly compensated

A shipping service did the unthinkable and lost a package that was so valuable that no amount of money (especially not $135) could fix it: a person’s ashes.
Tangenika Lee, from Metro Atlanta, Georgia, USA, said she shipped her 15-year-old son’s ashes from a local United Parcel Service (UPS) store to a family member, but the package never made it.
WBS-TV Channel 2 located Tangenika in Hiram, Georgia, on Tuesday (January 30), where she said that she was now feeling like she had lost her child, Deontray, all over again.
Deontray died of a fentanyl overdose in 2020 at the age of 15, WBS-TV reported. In early January, Tangenika sent his ashes to her sister, who makes customized cremation urns, in Connecticut, USA.
Image credits: WSB TV Atlanta
Image credits: WSB TV Atlanta
Weeks passed, and the ashes reportedly never arrived to Tangenika’s sister. Deontray’s remains were supposed to be at his aunt’s house by January 10.
The grieving mother reportedly said that UPS’ corporate customer service sent her a bewildering $135 check to compensate her for the loss of her son’s ashes. Unsurprisingly, it is a check Tangenika said she refused to cash.
Tangenika reportedly said she had shipped Deontray’s ashes from the UPS store in Hiram, along with some gifts. She had even informed UPS workers what was in the wooden box.
Image credits: Tangenika S Lee
When the ashes failed to arrive, the disconcerted mom went back to the UPS store to ask what happened. She said the police were also there.
Tangenika recalled: “They went back into the store, and they pulled cameras from January 8th, and they told me that the package had actually left their facility. There was nothing they could do about it. I just lost it, [and I] started crying.”
Tangenika reportedly said the ashes were last tracked to a distribution center in Connecticut. She subsequently said she planned to go there herself to look for her son’s remains.
Image credits: WSB TV Atlanta
She said: “If you ask me, it’s just like a repeating nightmare. I cremated him because I had not seen him in seven whole years.
“So, I cremated him so that he could be right here with me, and we could travel together and do things together – and he ain’t here.”
Image credits: WSB TV Atlanta
UPS reached out to WBS-TV and said that “with the time constraints, we had to investigate, [and] we found the content of the package was declared by the customer as ‘clothes.’ UPS does not accept shipments of human remains.”
“We extend our deepest sympathy to the family, and our heartfelt thoughts are with them during this time. Unfortunately, the package was lost.”
UPS’s official website lists “human remains, fetal remains, human body parts, human embryos or components thereof” as prohibited items.
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Karina Babenok
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Have you heard of Adam Douglas Thompson? He’s an American cartoonist with a distinctive minimalist art style who has contributed cartoons to The New Yorker for many years and has showcased his drawings in various art galleries. Scroll down to see our favorites!























liver
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What are his options on getting a dessert? Obviously, it’s yes or no. What did he expect? Maybe getting a dessert? Getting only 80% of dessert? Some people are just dumb beyond saving…
The post Technically The Truth: She’s Not Wrong first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.
liver
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Amanda‘s company wanted to restrict access to a service by filtering on the requestor’s IP address. Yes, this is a terrible idea. So they wanted to make it a bit smarter, and also filter on various subnets. But they had a LOT of different subnets.
So the result was this:
ok = 0
ip = Request.ServerVariables("REMOTE_ADDR")
if ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip = "xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx" then
ok = 1
end if
ip2 = Split(ip,".")
ip3 = ip2(0) &"."& ip2(1) &"."& ip2(2)
if ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" then
ok = 1
end if
if ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" or ip3 = "xxx.xxx.xxx" then
ok = 1
end if
if ok = 1 then
response.redirect "http://www.somedomain.com/something/that/is/meant/to/be/private"
else
response.redirect "index.asp?error=1"
end if
Imagine that each xxx in there is part of an IP address. Whitespace as in original, apologies to your scrollbar.
This code is fairly old- classic ASP, but it was still in use as of a decade ago. Which, it happens, is when Amanda worked on it. She did the sane thing and deleted this block and just used the authentication system that the application already had. Customers were happy, as it meant they didn’t need to get their IP address allowlisted, they could just sign in.
At least one manager was unhappy, because they were convinced that by allowlisting, they were enforcing a “per seat” license- “Every computer has a unique IP address!” they insisted. “Without this check, they could sign on from any computer, anywhere!”
Fortunately, that manager was eventually talked down when someone suggested that this gives each user their own account, and thus prevents two people from sharing the same computer.
Remy Porter
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liver
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