Category: Humor

Jake Thompson, also known as Jake Likes Onions, is a popular webcomic artist known for his extremely dark sense of humor. His comics often feature absurd and surreal situations, exploring themes of everyday life, relationships, and society with a unique twist. Scroll down to see our favorite picks and don’t forget to check out Jake’s book on Amazon! Ranging from the relatable to the utterly nonsensical and bizarre, his book focuses on themes of loneliness, desperation, and failure.

If this is your kind of humor and you wish to see more, check out Jake’s book on Amazon! Ranging from the relatable to the utterly nonsensical and bizarre, his book focuses on themes of loneliness, desperation, and failure. Please note that this site is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate affiliate we earn from qualifying purchases.

There’s a productive and, yes, philanthropic way to express your hatred for your ex, as demonstrated by an animal shelter’s not-so-romantic Valentine’s Day campaign.

Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center in Blackwood, an animal shelter based in New Jersey, USA, took to its Instagram page on Tuesday (January 30) to launch its “Neuter Your Ex” donation event for Valentine’s Day.

To make use of the lovers’ celebratory event, the adoption center has invited people to donate $50 to have a feral cat named after their ex and then neutered.

“The cat will then be spayed or neutered before being released back to their colony as part of our trap-neuter-return (TNR) program,” Homeward Bound wrote on Instagram about the promotion.

An animal shelter based in New Jersey, USA, invited people to donate $50 to have a feral cat named after their ex and then neutered for Valentine’s Day

Image credits: freepik

Eric Schwartz, director of development for Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center, told CBS News: “It’s absolutely taken off,” adding that the idea for the occasion came from a shelter volunteer. Moreover, the tagline “some things shouldn’t breed” was created after the initial idea.

Eric further explained that he believed the event became popular because it’s “so relatable to people.” He said: “Because whether they want to talk about it openly or not, I think an image or a name comes into their mind [when they think of the slogan].

“So, it’s just kind of taken off, and we’re certainly appreciative of the attention that it can bring to these animals.”

Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center in Blackwood took to its Instagram page on Tuesday (January 30) to launch its “Neuter Your Ex” campaign

Image credits: Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center

Eric revealed that Homeward Bound had received calls and donations for about 50 different name suggestions for feral cats so far, with at least five of the names belonging to donors’ exes, People reported.

Nevertheless, vengeful animal lovers need to respect some rules before naming the feral cats included in the event and dedicating a neutering to their disliked ex.

The shelter reportedly noted that only first names or nicknames, not full names, could be used for the event, as per People.

Image credits: Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center

After the feral cats taking part in the event have been named and then spayed or neutered, they will reportedly be released back to the feral feline colony, where they were found as part of Homeward Bound’s trap-neuter-return (TNR) program.

The funds raised by the “Neuter Your Ex” donation will go directly into the shelter’s TNR program, which helps humanely control the feral cat population in New Jersey, People reported.

“The cat will then be spayed or neutered before being released back to their colony as part of our trap-neuter-return (TNR) program,” Homeward Bound wrote

Image credits: homewardboundnj

“Your donation ensures we can offer spay/neuter surgery at reduced costs for community cats and their caretakers in need,” Homeward Bound noted on its website.

Director Eric also told CBS News: “Our spay and neuter and release program allows us to get some of these stray cats off the streets. 

“Obviously, it’s a cycle that needs to be broken or at least limited.”

“This was a good idea,” a reader quipped

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Let’s say your company wanted to offer special deals. When a customer calls about one of these deals, you want to play an automated customer support message using SignalWire, a tool for scripting phone voice trees.

This is a natural case for using a Map data structure. Which is what Ajay‘s predecessor did. They just… uh… weren’t sure how to use a Map.

public String convert(Deal deal) {
    List<Deal> single = Collections.singletonList(deal);
    Map<Deal, String> swml = client.getSWMLs(single, version);
    for(Map.Entry<Deal, String> entry : swml.entrySet()) {
        if (deal.equals(entry.getKey())) {
            return entry.getValue();
        }
    }
    return "";
}

This Java code looks like a case of trying to fit some APIs together awkwardly.

Our function takes a Deal object. The client.getSWMLs function apparently requires a list as its input, because we start by converting the input into a singletonList– a list with one item in it.

client.getSWMLs then returns a map, presumably mapping every input in the list to the appropriate SWML script. Of course, we only sent it one, so I suspect that our map only has one key. No problem, though, as we can just call get on the Map…

Except that’s not what we do. We convert the Map into a Set of Map.Entrys, and then iterate across the set. If the Deal in the set is the Deal we’re looking for, we’ve found our value.

Bonus points for simply returning an empty string instead of a meaningful error when the input doesn’t map to an output. I’m sure that never created any awkward customer support moments.

The age of linking humans to computers is upon us, and no, it isn’t a Black Mirror episode but rather a sci-fi movie turned real life.

Elon Musk has finally accomplished his long-term dream of attaching a computer to a person’s brain with Neuralink, the neurotechnology company he founded in 2016 that developed implantable brain-computer interfaces.

As per Neuralink’s official website, the company describes its product as a “brain-computer interface that is fully implantable, cosmetically invisible, and designed to let you control a computer or mobile device anywhere you go.”

The first human received Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain implant

Image credits: The Royal Society

After controversially testing the system on animals, the billionaire claimed the system has now been trialed on a human. 

Taking to his X account on Monday (January 29) (formerly known as Twitter before he bought it for $44 billion), Elon wrote: “The first human received an implant from Neuralink yesterday and is recovering well.

“Initial results show promising neuron spike detection.”

Neuralink, a neurotechnology company founded by Elon in 2016, develops implantable brain-computer interfaces

Image credits: neura.link

Image credits: neura.link

Spikes are activity by neurons, which the National Institute of Health describes as cells that use electrical and chemical signals to send information around the brain and to the body.

In follow-up X posts, the Tesla CEO went on to reveal that his new Neuralink product was called “Telepathy” before further explaining: “[It] enables control of your phone or computer and through them almost any device, just by thinking.

“Initial users will be those who have lost the use of their limbs.”

The implanted product “enables control of your phone or computer and through them almost any device, just by thinking”

Image credits: Neuralink

Image credits: neura.link

The 52-year-old business mogul concluded: “Imagine if Stephen Hawking could communicate faster than a speed typist or auctioneer. That is the goal.”

Neuralink said last year that it had begun recruiting for the first human trials of its technology, The Independent reported. At the time, it suggested it was looking for people who “have quadriplegia due to cervical spinal cord injury or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).”

Elon has in the past suggested Neuralink would be able to offer a way for people to integrate virtual reality with their own brains, for instance.

In November 2022, Neuralink shared footage that reportedly showed two monkeys moving computer cursors with their brains

Image credits: neura.link

Since it was created, Neuralink has remained largely secretive about its work. However, it has been revealed that it requires a set of small probes that are inserted into the brain to see neuron activity, which may be done by a specially designed robot, as per The Independent.

Neuralink has also revealed successful tests, including a monkey playing Pong using the system. 

The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) had given the company clearance last year to conduct its first trial to test its implant on humans, The Guardian reported.

You can watch a video about Neuralink’s clinical trial below:

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Nevertheless, Reuters reported earlier this month that Neuralink was fined for violating US Department of Transportation (DoT) rules regarding the movement of hazardous materials.

During inspections of the company’s facilities in Texas and California, USA, in February 2023, DoT investigators found the company had failed to register itself as a transporter of hazardous material, the agency’s records show.

They also reportedly found improper packaging of hazardous waste, including the flammable liquid Xylene. 

Xylene can cause headaches, dizziness, confusion, loss of muscle coordination, and even death, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Many readers thought Telepathy would help people who are disabled

Efren‘s employer recently acquired a competitor. The competitor had been struggling for a number of years, and the acquisition was a last ditch attempt to preserve at least some of the business (a complete closure was the only other option).

Now, “struggling for a number of years” sounds fairly vague, but due to some bad database design, we actually have a clear indicator of exactly when the company gave up:

CASE YEAR(SomeDate)
    WHEN 2013 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2013)  
    WHEN 2014 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2014)  
    WHEN 2015 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2015)  
    WHEN 2016 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2016)  
    WHEN 2017 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2017)  
    WHEN 2018 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2018)  
    WHEN 2019 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019)  
    WHEN 2020 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019)  
    WHEN 2021 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019)
    WHEN 2022 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019) 
    WHEN 2023 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019)  
    WHEN 2024 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019)  
    WHEN 2025 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019)
    WHEN 2026 THEN  
        SUM(Estimate2019) 
END

Here we have the classic “add a new column for every unit of time” design anti-pattern. A fun, traditional piece of difficult maintenance. But here we see exactly when maintenance stopped: sometime in late 2019 or 2020.

Now, I’m speculating a bit, but, I suspect this is pretty clear evidence of how the pandemic may have impacted some businesses. Someone was supposed to add the new column. They may have been laid off, or retasked. The maintenance task that had seemed so affordable to the business a year prior suddenly became untenable.

“Debts that can’t be paid won’t be paid,” as the saying goes. Here’s technical debt that couldn’t be paid. So it wasn’t. And the result was a company going under.

It’s expected for tension to rise between teens and their parents every now and then. Mom and Dad might still see them as children, while all they want to do is act like an adult.

But when this teenage girl’s father acted immaturely, she decided the most appropriate way to respond would be with petty revenge. Below, you’ll find the full story that she recently posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies readers have shared.

Teens often have a hard time getting along with their parents

Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual image)

But after her father took the liberty of moving her things, this teen decided the best response would be petty revenge

Image credits: freddie marriage (not the actual image)

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Image credits: wirestock (not the actual image)

Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual image)

Image credits: MetriomeXinthose

Kids have an average of 5 arguments with their parents each week

We all know parents and teens tend to have a difficult time getting along. Whether they’re arguing about what time is an appropriate curfew, how much skin they should be showing when going to school, how much money they should be earning for household chores or which friends are a good influence on them, teens and parents have a knack for getting under each other’s skin.

But boys and girls don’t always have the same conflicts with their mother and father. According to Phys.org, girls are almost twice as likely to argue with either parent about their clothes and are more likely to argue with their mom over chores. On the other hand, boys are twice as likely to argue with their moms about politics and more likely to have conflicts with Mom over homework.

In fact, kids have an average of 5 arguments a week with their parents between the ages of 2 and 18, amounting to about 4,200 arguments while growing up, the New York Post reports. These disputes tend to last about 14 minutes, and parents believe that they “win” over 60% of them. 

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual image)

It’s important for parents to give their children a healthy amount of privacy

The most common issues that cause fights between kids and their parents are chores, messy bedrooms, not cleaning up shared spaces, doing homework, bedtime, spending too much time on phones/computers, arguing with siblings, brushing teeth, watching too much TV and not eating healthy food.

While parents may feel that they’re entitled to their children’s possessions as much as their kids are (“my house, my rules”), it can actually be very beneficial for teens to have privacy from their parents. Verywell Family explains that privacy is important for teens to have autonomy and to help them understand that their parents trust them. And according to Angela Lamson, PhD, LMFT, this privacy should go beyond social interactions and extend to their bedrooms, their bodies and their possessions.

Allowing teens a healthy amount of privacy and space allows them to develop their interests, respects their modesty, allows them to gain confidence and actually creates fewer conflicts. Teens don’t usually respond well to having their privacy invaded, so as hard as it may be, it’s best for parents to accept that they cannot control every single aspect of their kids’ lives.

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

As kids grow up, parents must understand that they can’t control every aspect of their lives

Raising Children recommends that parents avoid looking through their children’s things without asking, reading their diaries or messages between friends, communicating with them on social media if they don’t want you to, calling to check in on them all the time and listening in on their phone conversations. 

Instead, it’s wise to stay connected with your child by actively listening to them, being aware of their behavior and how they’re feeling, keeping an eye on their progress in school, getting to know their friends and making space for them to hang out in your home. And of course, resisting the urge to break your child’s trust or invade their privacy. Raising Children notes that if you need to know information from your kid, it’s best to ask them directly (“Where are you going?”), rather than snooping around to find out.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this teen was right to get petty revenge on her father? Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing petty revenge, we recommend reading this piece next!  

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

Readers shared their thoughts on the teen’s revenge, and she joined in on the conversation to share more details

Luke has inherited a Java Struts-based application. Struts is one of the many Java web frameworks, designed around having HTTP requests trigger actions– that is routing HTTP requests to a specific function call.

Now, on one screen, the user filled in a form, and then the corresponding action on the server side needed to read the form data for an eventId and act upon it. In Struts, this can be very simple:

int event_id = Integer.parseInt(request.getParameter("event_id"));

That’s the assumed way of doing that. But if you don’t learn how to use the framework properly, you might end up writing something else:

public ActionForward execute(ActionMapping mapping, ActionForm form, HttpServletRequest request, HttpServletResponse response) throws Exception {
	int event_id = 0;
	try {
		InputStream is = request.getInputStream();
		InputStreamReader isr = new InputStreamReader(is);
		BufferedReader br = new BufferedReader(isr);
		String eventStr = "";
		StringBuffer buff = new StringBuffer();
		String line;
		do {
			line = br.readLine();
			buff.append(line);
		} while (br.readLine() != null);
			eventStr = buff.toString();
			StringTokenizer parseEventId = new StringTokenizer(eventStr, ",");
		while (parseEventId.hasMoreTokens()) {
			String eventString = parseEventId.nextToken();
			if (eventString.startsWith("event_id")) {
				event_id = Integer.parseInt(eventString.substring(eventString.indexOf("=") + 1));
			}
		}
	} catch (Exception e) {
		e.printStackTrace();
	}
    ...
}

This pile of code opts to read in the entire body of the input stream as a string, and then parse that string using a tokenizer, searching for substring which starts with event_id, at which point they can split on the = and get the integer value.

All of this is too complicated and reinventing a wheel badly, but the specific token we split on hints at deeper problems: ", ", as well as the fact that our read do/while loop only reads every other line.

An HTML form POST request encodes the data either as application/x-www-form-urlencoded or multipart/form-data. Neither of those formats sends up commas to separate key/value pairs. Either the client side is applying its own custom formatting, which we need to parse, or this code is just plain wrong.

But also, Struts does have a whole model/form binding feature set, so the “official” way to do this would be to just map to a Java Bean object.

Everything about this is wrong and overengineered, and smells like it was written by someone who was “smarter” than everyone else, and thus couldn’t be bothered with using standard approaches to anything.

Anyone who’s spent a decent chunk of their time on the internet knows how weird content can get. Memes aren’t just about cats doing silly things, people moaning about work, and parents posting relatable experiences about raising kids.

Memes can get beyond bizarre. So much so that even the most seasoned internet veterans can be left confused, not just amused. We’ve collected some of the most ‘cursed’ images, as shared on the @cursed.pic Instagram account, to give you a taste of what that’s like. Ready for some weirdness? Let’s go. But make sure you grab some holy water and Unsee Juice—you’ve been warned..!