Four people are injured following a three-vehicle crash on Sunday in Montgomery County, Maryland, according to fire and rescue officials.
Four people are injured following a three-vehicle crash on Sunday in Montgomery County, Maryland, according to fire and rescue officials.
It happened just before 6:30 a.m. on Sunday near the intersection of New Hampshire Avenue and Lockwood Drive in White Oak, according to Montgomery County Fire and Rescue.
The crash involved three vehicles with people trapped in two of the vehicles, according to Montgomery County Fire and Rescue spokesman Pete Piringer.
RX @DavidPazos15 (2/25 @0628am) MCFRS units were dispatched to an auto collison involving three vehicles with entrapments in two vehicles. 4 patients (2 traumas & 2 NLT) taken to area hospitals. @mcfrspic.twitter.com/Pql6J21Hbb
I apprehensively open my prescription bottle and peer in. I pour its contents into my hand, double and triple checking my count of its contents. Dread washes over me; it’s time to get a medication refill.
The ADHD medication shortage that started in late 2022 – and still with no end in sight – has deeply and profoundly worn me down. I am exhausted. I am frustrated. I struggle immensely due to the extra time and effort I now have to invest to get the medication I need to function. Even though millions of us are affected by this shortage, I’ve felt isolated and hopelessly alone in navigating this overwhelming system that has failed us.
An Executive Function Gauntlet: The Outrageous Absurdity of Refills
I take both a long-acting and short-acting version of my ADHD medication, and have been doing so for a decade. Prior to the shortage, the process I followed to obtain medication was imperfect, but more doable than our current nightmare. I had grown accustomed to the task of getting a new prescription for each of my medications to bring to my pharmacy every month. I knew when I had to make an appointment with my doctor to request the prescriptions, and I diligently showed up to my pharmacy within the three-day refill window, as allowed by law, and was ready to wait the usual 45 minutes for both of my medications to be filled.
With the ongoing medication shortage, I only have about 10 blissful days a month where I’m not dealing with some aspect of refilling my medications. Now it’s not only a question of being within my three-day refill window but also relying on my medication to be in stock.
At every turn, obtaining the medication I need requires executive functioning – the very area that is impaired in ADHD, and for which medication, along with employing strategies and learning skills, improves. My prescriptions have gone from being filled on the same day to being filled on different days and then weeks apart. This means shifting things around to make room for more trips to the pharmacy, more phone calls to disgruntled staff, more things to complicate my day-to-day life, all while undermedicated. (As it turns out, living with impaired executive functioning sure takes a lot of executive functioning.)
More than once, I’ve been scolded by pharmacy staff for making the mistake of calling to request my prescription release one day too early. (As many ADHDers know, staying on top of dates is no easy task.) I was acridly reminded that this is a scheduled drug and that my refill is not due yet. Each time it’s happened, I say, “My apologies, thank you for your help,” silently chastising myself for messing up the dates, loathing that I have to start this process all again the next day.
I also started rationing my medication, skipping doses on weekends to make sure I could at least have medication to do my job. After a few months of this, my frustration gave way to panic when my pharmacy said it had no idea when the next shipment would arrive.
I once contacted 15 different pharmacies over three days, trying to find a location that not only had medication in stock, but that would be willing to take my prescription. Pharmacy after pharmacy told me that their location was no longer accepting new ADHD patients. One pharmacy even had the audacity to laugh at my provider when they tried to call my prescription in. This system, designed to prevent drug abuse, was now forcing me into the role of a literal drug seeker despite being on my exact same dosages for ten years – the irony of which was not lost on me.
One pharmacy was willing to take my prescriptions, but getting there and back would easily take me an hour, and they could only put me on the wait list. Another pharmacy was closer, and while they didn’t have my exact dosage in stock, they told me that they’d be able to fill my prescription if my doctor split my dose between two lower-dose pills. I hesitated, anxious to make the request because my doctor had already submitted and cancelled two sets of my prescriptions that month. I worried that the back-and-forth would flag me as a troublesome patient. Thankfully my doctor was willing to accommodate. Still, I thought to myself that this cannot be the price we pay to function.
Then there’s the work of verbally calling to release my prescriptions, which can take anywhere from three minutes to a very literal two hours on hold, only to be hung up on. I can’t just leave a voicemail to release my prescription – there is no way to confirm they received it without calling in again.
At my doctor’s appointments, on the phone with the pharmacy, and at the pick-up window, I started venting my frustrations in the form of humor. I joked that this system is an executive function gauntlet for people with ADHD – it certainly wasn’t designed with us in mind! Yet these jokes only got an occasional weary smile. Meanwhile, I simmered, knowing this “joke” was my real life.
Trapped in a Solitary, Multi-Year Riptide
I have educated myself on the shortage, reading endless articles about it. I have observed how the different agencies, producers, and regulators involved shift the blame. Yes, it is a complex system, but that does not diminish any one participant’s part in making it better or making it worse. I have written to Congress. I have listened to countless stories of the strife everyday folk endure to get their prescriptions.
Every story I hear makes me feel like each individual with ADHD is on their own little island. We’re able to send along messages in a bottle, but we’re unable to collectively make those in power recognize our stories and our pain. I am sick of feeling trapped in this riptide all by myself, subject to forces that I cannot control, powerless to take care of my own physical and mental health. I am saddened that there doesn’t seem to be a way for the 8.7 million of us with adult ADHD (and parents of children with ADHD) to collectively advocate or have a say in this process. We deserve a seat at the table.
A Seat at the Table: How We Can Make Our Voices Heard
The ADHD medication shortage cannot go on. It has caused far too much damage and pain for those of us who simply want to live and work and achieve what we are capable of by limiting the burden of this neurodevelopmental disorder.
I have done all that I can on my part – following all of the expert advice during this shortage – to independently manage my health. I am working toward medical school, and I have thought long and hard about what I’d do if I could magically fix this system. Perhaps new monthly prescriptions should only be required in the first year that a newly diagnosed patient is trying different ADHD medications and dosages. From there, documentation attesting to ADHD and the continued need for medication can be submitted to the DEA, insurance companies, and any relevant regulatory board in order for a patient to be granted the privilege to have their medication treated like any other normal, regularly prescribed medication.
Pharmacies would be able to better predict their orders of stimulant medication instead of having to turn people away with valid prescriptions because they’re already overwhelmed with managing this shortage. I do not deny that stimulant medication has potential for abuse, and a regulatory system is appropriate for this class of medications. But the bottom line is this: There must be a way for diagnosed ADHD patients who have a history of established care to be able to reliably obtain their medications.
But work must be done on all fronts. Individually, we are isolated. Yet we have power in our multitudes and in our stories. It’s time to start to #ADDUsUp. We can all be #ADHDvocatesForChange.
Share your stories of and frustrations with navigating the ongoing shortage, plus ideas for how to make the world better for neurodivergent individuals on social media using the above hashtags.
As you share your story, tag celebrities with ADHD and ADHD organizations/platforms and demand that they unabashedly call out the shortages and seek not just answers, but change.
Write to your U.S. representatives, the DEA, and the FDA, who must understand the real-life consequences of drug shortages and current policies for the millions of us who live with ADHD. Untreated or poorly treated ADHD wrecks lives, and medication is an important tool upon which we rely for our health and wellbeing. Highlight how policy at the governmental, regulatory, and healthcare system-level (including procedures at insurance companies and manufacturers/distributors of medications) directly impacts the care and wellbeing of ADHD patients.
Together we can elevate our voices, share our experiences, and demand more of our institutions and those in power. If we, a bunch of executive functioning-challenged ADHDers can get organized and start a movement, then those with power have no excuse for ignoring breaks in this system. It’s time for them to do their part, too.
ADHD Medication Shortage: Next Steps
Elizabeth (Elle) Sharrard is an aspiring medical student and a proud #ADHDvocate who hopes to empower people to use their voices to improve the world for all. Elle’s blog post inspired the creation of ADDitude’s call-to-action scripts for contacting representatives about the ongoing ADHD drug shortage.
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Twelve years ago, I embarked on a transformative psychedelics journey that opened my eyes to my true self. I did not know then that this trip into my subconscious would completely change my perception of the world, make my then-undiagnosed ADHD more manageable, and lead me to help others experience similar life-changing revelations.
On that fateful day, my psychedelic guide gave me magic mushrooms and said, “Look at the forest one last time; you will never see it the same way again.”
To say he was right would be an understatement.
I arrived with a simple intention: to get to know myself better. What emerged were aspects of myself that I never knew existed. The psychedelic experience revealed the roots of my depression and provided insight about how to regulate my emotions — a godsend for me as I struggled with intense mood swings and disorders. Whereas therapy had failed, this journey transformed me entirely.
To be clear, it was not a magical solution that solved all my problems overnight. But my psychedelic journey gave me a vision of the destination to drive toward. It filled me with an intrinsic motivation to change the patterns that were keeping me stuck.
Fast-forward 12 years, following numerous psychedelic experiences combined with therapy: I have achieved a state of emotional stability. Severe mood swings and depression are a distant memory.
I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, and I consider this revelation the last missing piece of my puzzle. Today, I find it easy to love myself for who I am. I have developed new ways to live and embrace my ADHD brain without using medication.
Helping Others Follow the White Rabbit
In 2016, I decided that I wanted to help others by becoming a psychedelic-assisted therapy facilitator. At the time, psychedelic facilitator training programs didn’t exist, so I pursued extensive training in various modalities. I trained in inner child work and trauma integration therapy. I attended workshops and seminars conducted by experts in the field of psychedelic-assisted therapy.
Since then, I have co-founded a psychedelic-assisted therapy company and guided hundreds of people through psilocybin journeys in the Netherlands, where this work is legal. The changes I have witnessed in people, especially those with ADHD and neurodiversity, have been nothing short of astounding.
Most of the people undergoing this form of therapy experience significant changes in their lives, overcome addictions and depression, transform their self-doubt, and reduce their rejection sensitivity.
It is important to say that this therapy is not for everyone, nor is it a one-size-fits-all solution. Individuals who are prone to psychosis, diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, or who have a family history of these conditions should abstain from this therapy.
That said, it helped me to redefine my life, and I hope it can benefit others like me.
Psychedelic Assisted Therapy: Next Steps
Alice Smeets is a neurodivergent psilocybin-assisted therapy facilitator and co-founder of A Whole New High, which offers guided, private psilocybin therapy sessions and group retreats in the Netherlands.
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White rice, white bread, ground beef, chicken fingers, French fries, and pepperoni pizza — for most of my life — and with very few exceptions — these were the only foods I ate.
From a young age, trying any food outside of this short list was a struggle like no other. I’d chew the food and try to pass it, but my throat would close, and I would gag and choke. No matter how hard I tried to swallow, I just couldn’t.
Of course, everyone thought that I was simply a picky eater. My mom learned early on that there was nothing she could do to get me to eat different foods. Unlike other parents with picky eaters, she couldn’t bribe me, give me trouble, or make me sit there until I was done with my plate. None of it worked on me, so she eventually came to terms with my limited diet, where most of the foods I ate were of the same flavor and color.
Over time, a few other foods did make it into my diet, so long as those foods were of the right brand and prepared a certain way. Fruits and vegetables definitely did not make the cut. And another thing: If foods on my plate touched, I considered my meal ruined.
If I did muster the courage to try a new food and manage to swallow it, I usually ended up getting sick. Eventually, trying new foods was no longer an option.
I struggled with my health growing up, whether it was stomach problems or a cold that would stick around for months and require trips to the emergency room. But my doctor’s visits often ended with me being told that I was a “medical mystery” because all my numbers, even my weight, were good. Though I ate few foods, the fact that my diet comprised mostly calorie-dense carbs meant that I never had any difficulties with putting on weight. If anything, I was always on the heavier side. No one could figure out what was wrong with me, and never did we think that my eating had caused all of these issues. The doctor never asked, and we never brought it up.
It wasn’t until I started Googling “how to fix my picky eating” that I learned about avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). The more I learned, the more my eating habits and entire life made sense.
Finally! I knew this went beyond picky eating. Now all I needed to do now was learn how to manage it, right? Or so I thought. Knowing a reason, unfortunately, didn’t make it any more possible for me to try foods.
ARFID in Adults: Diagnosis and Recovery
Years after I learned about ARFID, and now in my late 20s, I checked myself into an eating disorder clinic, where I finally received a professional diagnosis. For the first time, a doctor fully examined me and determined that I’ve been severely malnourished my entire life, no matter what “the numbers” might have said. It made complete sense. I mean, I went over 25 years without consuming a vegetable.
Thus began my ARFID recovery, a journey that gave me the opportunity to travel to England to receive treatment and, later, film a documentary to create awareness around this poorly understood eating disorder, especially in adults.
In my ongoing recovery and research, I learned about a therapist who specializes in ARFID. Given his phenomenal success rate with his clients, I figured that if anyone could help me, it would be him.
Before my session, I went to the grocery store to look at a handful of foods I’d never even think of trying. It was hard, and it was scary. I had a panic attack after picking up a kiwi because the thought of consuming it was so unsettling.
A few short hours later, it was time to head to the clinic.
After I settled into a big, comfy chair and wrapped myself up in a blanket, the therapist and I started talking. To this day, I can’t fully explain or understand what he did. It felt like he spoke to my inner child who had been grasping onto a massive ball of anxiety all this time. He somehow convinced that part of me to let go.
After our talk, I walked over to a table full of foods that I’ve never tried before, or that I had eliminated from my diet, knowing that the next step was to try them. It was different this time. The table full of unknown foods no longer filled me with anxiety. In the next 24 hours, I tried more food than I had in the preceding 28 years.
One Bite at a Time
It’s been nearly four years since I’ve been in active ARFID recovery, an experience that has been harder than I imagined. By now, I expected to be eating plates full of colorful foods and enjoying a wider variety of foods, but I’m not.
It’s hard to think about where I thought I would be by now and realize that I am not even close. But when I feel discouraged, I think back to where I started. My foods can touch, I’ve added multiple foods to my diet, and I am able to swallow when trying something new. As long as I keep trying new foods, I’m better — and moving forward.
ARFID in Adults: Next Steps
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For a good chunk of my life, I suffered greatly in the friendship department. The feeling of being hopelessly abnormal started in elementary school, where, as a child with ADHD, I struggled to sit still like the other kids, feared getting called on by my teachers, nervously solved math problems on the board while everyone watched and teased, and stumbled through sports whose rules I could never quite grasp. I truly felt like I was beyond the reaches of friendship. At an early age, I was intimately familiar with intense loneliness.
I found comfort in my cherished books. If I had no one to play with, I could always lock myself away with a good book and hyperfocus on a different life through its pages. But stories, though wonderful, are no substitute for friendship.
As a parent, I struggled to fit in with other mothers. I joined local mom groups, but quickly left once I realized that I was a different kind of person than the rest. Given all of my experiences, I had no difficulty discerning by then that we wouldn’t be friends.
What Makes a Good Friend? A Dash of Neurodivergence
Lest you pity me too much, I haven’t been devoid of friendships completely. I’ve been lucky enough to make friends whom I love deeply, and who love me. Most of these friends happen to have neurodivergent traits. Some have received a diagnosis, some have not. Either way, the way we think, converse, and go about life is the same.
At this point in my life, I can often tell right away if a person is neurodivergent, and most of the time these are the people with whom I have an instant connection. Their friendship is a joyous relief. I am free to stop masking, let my guard down, and be myself. I can be as weird as I want, and they are weird right back, and we celebrate our mutual weirdness. It is wonderful.
We have great, intense conversations about our latest hyperfixations and discoveries – my favorite type of conversations. I love sharing my new knowledge and interests with my friends just as much as the next person with ADHD.
These are friends who understand my oft-messy house, forgetfulness, or sudden need to bail when I am overstimulated and need to decompress. When I’ve missed an important appointment or misplaced my child’s birthday gift, it is so comforting to vent to people who have been there, and who understand. They tell me that it is not my fault, and that I am not the only one struggling with these things.
How do I describe the pure bliss of finally meeting people who will sing along to the song playing in the grocery store, make up funny lyrics for it, and dance in the checkout line because it’s the only way to pass the time? It’s like finally being able to say, “Yes, I’m different – and that’s okay!”
I am approaching my 40s, and I’m not sure I have a single friend who is neurotypical. It’s not an intentional omission. It just so happens that most of the people I click with are neurodivergent. How lucky for me.
True Friendship: Next Steps
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I’ve never been one to shy away from the spotlight. As a child, I was known to “sermonize” from the pulpit in church, and I’d always volunteer to read out loud in class. I relished every opportunity to say something funny or personally meaningful in front of a crowd. In high school, my outgoing nature, ease in front of large crowds, and quick thinking under pressure helped me become captain of my school’s debate team. I even got to present arguments to my state’s school board.
Once I left my tiny hometown and moved to the city, I found myself gravitating toward comedy clubs. I very quickly began performing, oftentimes impromptu style, and, less than a year later, I was signed on to a local, all-female comedy show.
I’ve never considered my ADHD brain to be a hindrance in the comedy world. If anything, it’s more like a secret weapon that gives me the upper hand on stage, that magical place where bouncing, bubbling, free-thinking maniacs like us take charge and absolutely shine.
How to Do Stand-Up Comedy with ADHD: Quick Thinking to the Test
The pressure of performing to hundreds of scrutinizing ears under bright lights is not for the faint of heart. Anything can happen. Yes, anything, like forgetting your own jokes, scrambling up lines, dealing with hecklers, doing some crowd work, and stumbling onto topics that weren’t part of the set at all, which often happens for me.
While a large part of stand-up comedy is rehearsing – practicing a set over and over until you’re well-versed enough to deliver your lines, completely memorized (but not showing it) and at just the right timing – rolling with the punches is where your mastery in this craft comes through. Because, as a performer, there are no second chances; you must always be ready to roll with the punches of a one-time-take during a live set.
Somehow, every time I’m on stage, I manage to fool the audience into thinking that I have my crap together. (Joke’s on them!) How do I do it? With the help of a bulleted list that I keep on stage and occasionally glance at while performing. If I’ve forgotten a joke or scrambled up my lines, potentially disrupting the flow and organization of my set, I look at the next bullet point and find a way, on the spot, to connect the random topic I’ve stumbled upon to the next joke. The list also helps me smoothly skip to the next bit in my set if a joke doesn’t seem to land with the crowd.
It’s in these moments that my ADHD brain actually works best. When I allow myself to shift around freely and think quickly on my feet, my sets tend to feel more authentic, lucid, fluid, and complete.
It’s a big reason I enjoy crowd work. There’s a new crowd to weave through every time, meaning endless possibilities for teasing. Shall I focus on the size of an audience member’s shoes? On the choice of words they used to answer my question? On their unfortunate choice to wear a scarf during the summer or shorts during the winter? Or should I jump through all these choices?
And how about those hecklers? I try my hardest not to “punch-down” as a comedian, but, hey, no one’s perfect! The best thing to do in this scenario is to keep the show light and quickly find a distraction that will satiate the heckler until security can escort them out. No problem for me!
Perhaps another reason I gravitate toward a live audience is because performing offers the opportunity to express who I really am and to be truly seen. Sometimes I even feel more like myself when I am presenting or performing on the stage. Because it’s where my brain, funny enough, is free to behave in a way that isn’t always appreciated away from the spotlight.
Stand-Up Comedy and ADHD: Next Steps
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Newswise — On a study (doi:10.1093/burnst/tkad056) published in the journal Burns & Trauma, researchers employed a combination of techniques to analyze the effects of burn injury on the gut microbiota and mucus barrier in mice. A modified histopathological grading system assessed colon tissue and mucus barrier integrity. 16S rRNA sequencing revealed changes in gut microbial composition over 10 days post-burn. Metagenomic sequencing provided deeper insights into mucus-related bacteria and potential underlying mechanisms.
This study provides compelling evidence that burn injury disrupts the intestinal mucus barrier and alters the gut microbiota composition. Mucus-degrading bacteria appear to play a role in mucus breakdown, while probiotics may promote repair through short-chain fatty acids production.
Professor Xi Peng, the leading researcher of this study, emphasizes, “This study is a breakthrough in understanding the intricate relationship between gut microbiota and intestinal health post-burn injuries. It highlights the dual role of microbiota in both exacerbating and healing intestinal damage, offering a new perspective for targeted therapeutic strategies.”
This research holds significant promise for improving burn treatment outcomes. By targeting specific gut bacteria or their metabolites, it may be possible to protect the intestinal mucus barrier, prevent bacterial translocation, and ultimately improve patient survival and recovery. Further research is warranted to translate these findings into clinical applications.
This research was funded by the National Natural Science Foundation of China (No. 82172202) and the Innovative Leading Talents Project of Chongqing, China (No. cstc2022ycjh-bgzxm0148).
Burns & Traumais an open access, peer-reviewed journal publishing the latest developments in basic, clinical, and translational research related to burns and traumatic injuries, with a special focus on various aspects of biomaterials, tissue engineering, stem cells, critical care, immunobiology, skin transplantation, prevention, and regeneration of burns and trauma injury.
As a chatty kid, I saw myself (I’m embarrassed to say) in Donkey, the talkative motor-mouth and sometimes annoying character from Shrek who could not and would not shut up. I suppose the rest of my family and friends, to my chagrin, also saw the uncanny similarities between myself and that hyperactive little sidekick.
“Donkey, You Have the Right to Remain Silent. What You Lack Is the Capacity.”
Though I excelled in classes that relied heavily on participation and creative thinking, my enthusiasm – in the form of constant hand-raising and oversharing – wasn’t always appreciated. I still remember being absolutely mortified when a teacher I loved politely shushed me in front of the class and said, “Alright, too many side comments.”
Some of my classmates thought I talked and talked for attention. What they didn’t understand was that my oversharing and chattiness – symptoms of an overactive ADHD brain – felt compulsive more than anything. How else was I to release the overwhelming tsunami of thoughts that flooded my mind? I was brimming with ideas, stories, rants, and opinions about everything.
I did have one fan, my mom, who listened patiently and enthusiastically to whatever came out of my mouth. Or at least she tried to listen to it all. (At some point, she did need a bit of me-time.) She had the brilliant idea of buying me a tape recorder into which I could pour my stories, rants, and thoughts. Before I knew it, I had completely filled six tapes with audio. It was a gift that changed the course of my life.
An Outlet for Never-Ending Thoughts
Talking into a recorder absolutely served as a healthy outlet for my active mind, as my mom intended, but it became much more than that for me. It led to my next creative avenue: writing.
Recording my thoughts helped me organize, remember, and build upon them enough to put them down on paper. Those thoughts racing through my head became first place prizes in school writing competitions and, today, an average of 300 pages a year of journaling (no kidding!), published short stories, poems, articles, and even skits and scripts for stand-up comedy.
Turns out that there was nothing wrong with having a wild sea of thoughts raging inside of me. I wasn’t doomed to be annoying or overbearing, as I had feared. Through the right lens and care, I could make like an alchemist and turn each drop of the raging ocean into gold.
When my boyfriend recently asked me, “Where do you get all your ideas? Aren’t you worried that you’re going to run out?” I shrugged. “No, actually, I’m not worried about running out of thoughts,” I said, borrowing a line from Shrek. “It’s getting ‘em to shut up that’s the trick!”
Excessive Talking in Children with ADHD: Next Steps
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Death is terrifying, in part, because it’s impossible to imagine ‘nothing.’ Instinctually, our brains and bodies actively reject the unknown. I suspect this is why so many cultures and religions have formed beliefs and stories about the afterlife — to give death some boundaries, some purpose, and some meaning. Still, death is arguably the only thing in life you can’t reject, escape, or deny. You can only try and avoid it for now.
Still, I ride a motorbike every day, knowing that the only laws that I cannot defy are physics and fate. One mistake and I’m injured — or worse. It may be a dark and uneasy truth, but it’s also quite liberating.
So why is a machine that I know may maim or kill me one day such a vital part of my life?
I think it has something to do with my ADHD. Riding gives me pure peace of mind, total focus, and a rush of adrenaline. There’s a single task and purpose: To get from Point A to Point B alive. It’s urgent for the sake of everything and nothing, making every journey and movement matter with an energy that defies fatigue. There simply is no room for error and no safety net beyond my reactions and skills as a rider.
I can feel the danger in the air pushing back on me as I choose to accelerate, a quiet demonstration of the immense power beyond my daring. Nothing else matters. No distractions, just me, a little music in my ears, and the ribbon of asphalt and the obstacles on it before me as I grip an explosive rocket nestled snugly against me. It puts me right there, right on the edge of oblivion. Every. Single. Time. (It makes grocery shopping rather dramatic, too.)
Something about me changed after I got on my first bike at age 14. I truly loved that feeling, the rollercoaster with no end. I needed it. I obsessed about bikes for seven years until I finally persuaded my parents to let me get one. They were beautiful and dangerous, like diving eagles. I’ve since ridden bikes through tropical storms and down hellish, tattered roads — never once wishing I’d bought a car.
When my last bike was stolen and destroyed, my heart shattered. I mourned her like a lost love. I felt naked somehow like the thieves had taken more than just a vehicle, but a part of me — a part that gives me license to feel really and truly free.
Risky Behaviors Help ADHD Brains Thrive
We live in a sensible society that can feel very restrictive for people with ADHD. Our society relies on rules and a degree of moderation to function. Everything is controlled, predictable, economically prosperous, safe, and in good order. I don’t have a big problem with rules; most make a lot of sense. However, this isn’t how our ADHD brains thrive. Rules discourage the risky behaviors that are like catnip for our dopamine-starved brains.
Every Sunday, I teach one-on-one swim lessons for children with autism and ADHD. In the two years I’ve been doing it, I’ve noticed that most of my neurodivergent students quickly outstrip their neurotypical peers once they’re allowed to skip ahead and face deep water directly. I’ve been tutoring a five-year-old girl with autism who now swims 25-meter lengths. She thrives because nothing I was trained to do in standard lessons worked, so I jumped in the water with her to keep her safe. With her mother’s consent, we bypassed the centre’s depth limit (The pool manager names his headaches after me!), and I gave her tasks to do while I followed her around the deep end. She instinctively adapts to mitigate the danger. She’s perfectly capable and happy, but if I teach her at the shallow end, it’s a completely different experience, and she won’t engage.
Another time, I needed to teach a student with ADHD how to tread water to ensure he could survive out of his depth. After a few lessons together, I jumped into the deep end of the pool with a float and told him to fetch the rubber duck beside me. At first, he was a bit freaked out over the depth. Then he looked into the deep and said, “Give me a minute. I’ve not got Lord Duckington yet!” He got the duck, and he trod water for a full minute. Challenging him like that forced him to innovate, which he did successfully. He’s only eight years old, but what a man.
When the only real restrictions are the irrefutable, unforgiving, and yet totally fair and logical laws of nature, it puts everything else into perspective. The laws of nature are a beautiful thing for neurotypical minds. It’s literally sink or swim. Death, or the threat thereof, provides the ultimate boundary. In doing so, it simplifies things, making the often confusing (and sometimes trivial) reality of our broad social and economic structures so much easier to rationalize and understand.
Learn to ride a motorbike or swim (safely, with witnesses, please!) a little out of your depth (safely, or at least with witnesses, please!), and you’ll see what I mean.
Risky Behaviors and ADHD: Next Steps
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Silent Hill: Ascension hasn’t made a big impact on the video game world, but maybe its licensed T-shirts will. Konami recently announced some tie-in merch, which is now available on its website. The store features some generic shirts, a hoodie, and a green beanie, but, most importantly, a light blue T-shirt and mug that say “It’s trauma” surrounded by rainbows and stars in the bubbliest font.
If you’ve ever wanted the most emotionally problematic merch that looks surprisingly great and reflects how you feel on the inside, this is the purchase for you.
When Silent Hill: Ascension was announced, it promised a new take on the series by being an interactive, live, choose-your-own-adventure-inspired experience. It was the tagline “It’s trauma,” though, that made a big impact on me, specifically because it was so bewildering. It was very on the nose for a story that was, as we were told, about trauma. Even worse, it was insulting to both people with trauma and Silent Hill fans who knew the franchise’s history with the topic.
For example, Silent Hill 2 offered a profound commentary on trauma, grief, and guilt, creating a character-driven story that differentiated itself from the first game’s dense lore-based world. These are themes the Silent Hill franchise has been chasing throughout its lifetime, sometimes successfully (Silent Hill: Shattered Memories) and sometimes not (Silent Hill: Downpour).
Silent Hill: Ascension is just the latest to try and capture that magic, and it’s been a huge failure. Critics have slammed the interactive story for failing to understand the core concept of “Silent Hill as trauma,” for stilted dialogue, and for being a general slog to sit through. The completely arbitrary season pass and microtransactions, which featured cosmetics and allowed players to choose characters’ actions, didn’t help with making it feel like a tonally consistent experience. It’s tough to take any piece of media seriously when it releases a purchasable sticker that shouts its theme. You didn’t know this was a game about trauma? Now you do.
A T-shirt or mug isn’t going to make Ascension any better, but the “it’s trauma” sentiment makes for some perfectly ironic merch. Plus, with how the world is right now, you can do much worse than a T-shirt or mug that screams “I have a relationship to trauma.”
At the dawn of each new year, we set ambitious goals, buoyed by the feeling we can tackle anything — and now is the time to do it. Then the daily grind sets in, our initial enthusiasm wanes, and the novelty of new goals fades. Or we miss a goal, or a plan goes sideways, and we want to throw it out the window, along with any progress made.
This isn’t because of a lack of commitment or desire but a difference in how our brains work. Setting goals that work for ADHD brains requires understanding, self-acceptance, and reasonable expectations. Here are a few tips on extending that New Year momentum.
How to Set Goals and Achieve Them with ADHD
1. Set Goals Aligned with Your Values
Before diving head-first into goal setting, consider what’s important to you. By starting with what truly matters, you’ll select more meaningful goals, increasing the likelihood of following through with them even when your momentum wanes. Reflect on your values through journaling or explore lists of common ones, like Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead List of Values.
2. Reflect on Feelings or Themes You Want to Experience
Instead of focusing on specific tangible goals, determine the desired emotions or themes you want to feel, such as ‘rested,’ ‘inspired, ‘creative,’ or ‘balanced.’
3. Swap Outcome-Oriented Goals for Process-Oriented Goals
We can feel frustrated and discouraged when we set — but don’t achieve — goals (even if it is due to factors out of our control). For example, if you set a goal to lose 20 pounds and only lose 10 pounds, yet you show up to the gym consistently and eat healthy, you still end up ‘failing.’ Instead, set goals around improving a skill or engaging in an activity regularly rather than a specific outcome.
Year-long goals can quickly sputter and stall for adults with ADHD who crave immediate rewards. Setting seasonal or quarterly goals keeps the end in sight, allowing you the flexibility to change your goals as priorities shift throughout the year. It also forces you to reflect on your progress more frequently.
5. Visualize and Keep Goals Visible
If you’re anything like me, you forget your goals pretty quickly. Creating a visual or auditory reminder can be a powerful motivator to keep goals fresh in your mind. I like to make a digital vision board with images, quotes, and items representing my values and goals for the year. Place these visuals around your room, in your wallet, or as your phone’s background. Here are some of my favorite vision board templates from Canva.
6. Create a Resiliency Plan
Take some time to jot down ideas on potential obstacles that may pop up and strategies for getting back on track. Coming up with a plan when you’re calm and in a good headspace is far easier than when chaos or stress ensues.
7. Include the ‘Baby Steps’
Nobody runs without learning to walk, and nobody walks without crawling first. For each goal you set, write down an alternative ‘baby step.’ For example, if your goal is 30 minutes on the treadmill daily, the ‘baby step’ could be putting on your workout clothes each day or going to the gym. This approach ensures you keep moving forward, even in small ways.
Incorporate accountability into your goal-setting plan from the start. Find a check-in buddy or a partner for activities like going to the gym and regularly get in touch with them.
9. Challenge Your ADHD Brain
We know that ADHD brains get bored quickly. Set mini-goals or try new activities to keep your interest piqued and cater to your need for novelty. For example, learn to do a handstand, hike every two-mile path in your city, or teach yourself how to Samba.
10. Stay Flexible and Kind
Above all, remember that the goal is to live your best life, not to achieve maximum productivity. Be gentle with yourself and allow for flexibility in your plans.
Understanding and working with our unique brains is key to maintaining the New Year momentum. We can make consistent progress toward our goals by focusing on our values, embracing flexibility, and celebrating small victories. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress, self-acceptance, and finding joy in the journey. Here’s to a year of growth, self-discovery, and sustained motivation!
How to Set Goals: Next Steps
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We all have bad days. Sometimes our day starts on a sour note when we wake up late and have to rush to school or work. From there, daily obligations only seem to push the day tumbling downhill. Mix in stress with ADHD emotional dysregulation, and you have irritability and grumpiness that seem impossible to shake. A bad mood, especially if prolonged, can lead to regretful choices that perpetuate problems and sustain a bad mood.
Some parts of your day are simply out of your control. What is in your control is easing yourself out of a bad mood to make your day go better. Use my “SMILE” method to decrease stress and help you move into a calmer state.
Sincere gratitude. Remind yourself of the positive in your life. Think of a person, place, thing, or experience that you truly appreciate. Remember what really matters to you. Consider making visual cues (photos, videos, drawings) to remind you of the things for which you are grateful. When you think of the good that surrounds you (and even get a “smile” out of it), you’ll see that your bad mood is not a constant.
Mindfulness. Give yourself a mental break from a bad mood by practicing mindfulness. Focus on your breathing; notice how the air fills your lungs and how it feels to fully exhale. Notice what your senses are detecting in the moment and name what you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch. Visualize a calm and safe place where you feel happy and content. Taking a minute to slow down and be present can help interrupt negative thought cycles.
Investigate your thoughts. Explore what is really going on that is contributing to your bad mood. What happened? How are you framing the situation? Are your thoughts actually helping or making you feel worse? What could be a more useful approach right now? What do you really need (not want) to help you right now? Answering these questions can help you redirect your thoughts to more effectively work through the bad mood.
Listen to your favorite music. Cue up the songs that lighten your mood. Hum the melody, sing along, and tap your foot to the music. Focus your attention on the rhythm and lyrics that make you feel good. What does the song remind you of? What are positive times that you associate with the music? Let the sounds surround you and lift your spirits.
Exercise. Release some of that bad mood through movement. Get the blood flowing with stretches or calisthenics. Take a walk or go for a jog outside to get fresh air. Try dancing or skipping to lighten your mood in a playful way. Do a laborious chore that requires lots of movement. Exercise can help both your mind and your body get to a better place.
Get Out of a Bad Mood: Next Steps
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Every day, I find myself staring at a giant mountain of things I need to do. Oddly, only some of what’s on the so-called mountain is real, important, and valuable. Most of it is a lot of airy nothing, the result of funky thinking on my part.
Before I start my climb up the mountain, I stand at the base and squint up to the tippy top. If I can just make it up there by the end of the day, I’ll win. I say this every day, but I’ve almost never gotten to the top of that mountain. I’ve rarely won.
Why? Is it because I’m an amateur mountain climber? Are we talking El Capitan here? What’s the deal?
The deal is that my to-do lists — whether for today, this year, or my life — don’t always reflect what I can do or what I want to do. I would need five of me to clear off my typical daily to-do list. My to-do list for life reads more like what five different versions of me want for my life, not just the single living, breathing me.
Why My To-Do Lists Go Awry
Sometimes, I lack clarity on what I truly need or want to do — the world, after all, is a big mountain of endless options. Other times, I’m cognitively inflexible and can’t switch gears when life asks me to, so I miss out on the optimal trail. I’m left with a lengthier trek and a bigger mountain. Still other times it’s perfectionism that comes through, enabling my mountain to grow. Finally, my old friend Time Blindness comes for a visit (actually, she lives with me permanently, because that’s ADHD) and suddenly my current task stretches like the Appalachian Mountain range.
Just kidding. It’s cold on my mountain, and lonely, especially when the trek involves fretting, scrambling, forgetting, rushing, and rarely arriving at satisfaction.
How to Shrink To-Do Mountains
So, what are my options? Am I destined to be stuck climbing interminable mountains forever?
I am not. I have the option to be a curator of my time, effort, and intentions.
Trust me, I get you. But I’ve found that noticing what’s going on in me in the moment is the first step to whittling down my mountain to the approachable, achievable, well-suited hill that makes my life happier and calmer.
Each day, when I wake up to face what appears to be Mt. Behemoth, I kick it with my toe to see if it’s real. I ask myself, “Steph, how much of what you insist you need to do today genuinely needs to be done?”
This is when the mountain raises a suspicious eyebrow because it knows that this question could lead to its shrinking. It’s a big clue that I’m at the juncture of owning my decisions or giving that power away. We each hold our position, but only one of us can be in charge. Who will it be? Me, or this mountain of tasks, goals, and dreams that nobody, even in an alternate universe, could ever accomplish in a reasonable amount of time?
“Since I’m writing a story with a happy ending here, it’s going to be me. But, full disclosure, the mountain sometimes gets the best of me. However, I’ve gotten so much better over time at calling the shots.”
The first trick is to say, “This thing doesn’t need to get done today.” The second trick is to believe this deep to your core. When you reach advanced-level mountain shrinking, you’ll learn that some tasks can simply be chucked off the mountain.
This is because there are channels of prioritization. One channel is for things that need to get done — the when, where, and how. The other channel is for things that need to get punted from our self-expectation mountain. When these channels become murky, climbing our mountain is no walk in the park.
But what is a lovely walk in the park? It’s the serenity that comes when I narrow down my daily priorities to a list that my earlier self would have laughed at. “Are you kidding? That’s a tiny list!” she’d have said. Old me would have fretted through her day and sulked at only being able to cross off, say, three things. Present me, though, feels empowered for crossing off the same number of items.
What I’ve noticed about adjusting to tinier, more doable plans is that as I accomplish what I set out to do and rack up the wins, I’ve grown a palpable confidence that says, “You can realize your dreams.” It’s hill-sized goals that lead us to mountains of accomplishment and happiness.
To-Do Lists Overwhelm: Next Steps
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I recall attending a school 504 meeting, as a single parent of a child with inattentive ADHD, where a panel of teachers, counselors, and administrators all sat across from me. I had a sinking sense that I was being judged for my child’s behavior and struggles. I felt like I was on trial. At the same time, I felt the pressure of how important the meeting was for gathering information on my child’s progress and advocating for beneficial changes to their education.
It turns out I was not alone. As a mental health educator and psychoeducator today, I often hear from parents and caregivers about the distress they feel ahead of meeting with their child’s educational support team.
School meetings are critical because they allow us as parents to to gather needed information and promote beneficial changes to our child’s education. Yet, we can feel powerless at times. We may also vicariously experience the trauma and shame associated with disability during these meetings.
So, how can we best support ourselves during an IEP/504 meeting (or any advocacy meeting) so we can fully support our kids? Here are some tips I’ve gathered from families, professionals, and my own parenting experiences over the years:
1. You don’t have to do it alone. IEP and 504 meetings can feel even more daunting if you feel isolated. Remember that you can bring a trusted family member or healthcare advocate with you. Beyond being a calming presence, a relative or trusted friend can help by making sure that you express your key points, stay on track, and ask pointed questions. Your support person can also help you debrief after the meeting.
2. Write out your questions and concerns ahead of time. Whether you use a phone, laptop, notepad, or an old-school clipboard, jot down any questions that come to mind well before your meeting. Chances are that you have many concerns. Writing down your thoughts will help you to keep organized and to fit your important concerns into the limited time allotted. Also, take notes during the meeting if you want to remember details and worry that you won’t!
3. Go ahead and ask your questions. Just like you might have heard from your favorite teacher growing up: No question is a stupid question. Ask questions, seek clarification, and gather information without worrying about feeling self-conscious. It’s your right as a parent.
4. Remember that everyone on the IEP team is trying their best. Most educational professionals are spread thin, overworked, underpaid, and burnt out. Keeping this in mind should help you to communicate with kindness and compassion. If you’re concerned about nervousness giving your speech an unintended edge or otherwise hindering effective communication, try roleplaying with a supportive friend who will give you honest feedback.
5. Commit to following up. You can request a review of your child’s plan at any time. Make sure you collect the contact info of all those in attendance at the meeting so that you can reach out if a new issue arises. Don’t be afraid to express that the plan isn’t working and needs revamping if need be.
6. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be a fierce advocate for your child, but also keep in mind that educational advocacy is a process that takes trial, error, and refinement over time.
Parenting a child with an atypical neurotype isn’t always easy. Advocacy isn’t, either. The silver lining? We grow through meeting challenges. We become stronger and develop more confidence as we become used to the role of advocate. In fighting for your child’s needs, you may find a voice you didn’t know you had.
IEP Meeting Anxiety: Next Steps
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Newswise — Psychotherapy is an effective treatment for adults with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following exposure to multiple traumatic events. This is the conclusion arrived at by an international team of researchers led by psychologists Dr Thole Hoppen and Prof Nexhmedin Morina from the Department for Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy at the University of Münster (Germany). The efficacy of psychotherapeutic interventions for treating PTSD in adults has been well-documented in various studies. However, until now, it had not been established whether the efficacy of psychotherapeutic interventions varies depending on whether the disorder is caused by one single event – for example, a traffic accident – or by multiple traumatic events such as during warfare or repeated incidents of sexual or physical violence. The meta-analysis, carried out based on data from around 10,600 patients, has now been published in the journal Lancet Psychiatry.
In this study, the team of researchers – which also included Prof Richard Meiser-Stedman from the University of East Anglia (UK), Dr Ahlke Kip from the University of Münster, and Prof Marianne Skogbrott Birkeland from the Research Centre for Violence and Traumatic Stress Studies in Norway – evaluated 137 empirical articles published over the past four decades on the treatment of PTSD in adults. Nexhmedin Morina concludes: “The data show that several psychological interventions are highly effective in treating PTSD following multiple traumatic events – in fact, they are about as effective as when the PTSD follows a single trauma.” These results had, to date, only been reported for the treatment of children and adolescents with PTSD. Now, this study confirms that it also applies in the treatment of PTSD in adults. This is “very encouraging news” for both patients and therapists.
Around four per cent of the global population suffers from PTSD as a result of traumatic events. The characteristic symptoms of PTSD include distressing intrusive traumatic memories, avoidance behaviour and difficulty with emotional regulation. The new findings have implications for the clinical practice and training of psychotherapists and mental health professionals more generally. “Our data helps remove treatment barriers for patients with a history of multiple traumatic events,” says Thole Hoppen. “In addition to patients’ fear of talking about their traumatic experiences, some psychotherapists hesitate to directly address traumatic experiences during treatment,” he adds. “However, trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy – a form of psychotherapy which helps process the traumatic memories – is not only very effective according to the accumulated data but more effective than non-trauma-focused interventions.” As a result, trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy is the first line of treatment recommended in national and international treatment guidelines. However, adds Hoppen, future research requires longer-term data to enable a more solid estimation of the long-term efficacy of the treatment.
You’re running late (again). As you rush to leave, you scan your mental checklist: “Okay, I have my keys. Now, where are my sunglasses? Oh, they’re on my head. Good. Wallet? Check. Hold on – is my ID in my wallet? Is the other ID I need in here? What time is it? Let me check my phone, which I’m sure I left around here…. Wait, my sunglasses aren’t on my head!”
Panic and frustration set in. Your inner critic starts up: Why can’t I be more organized? Why am I so forgetful? Why is this so hard? Why do I always do this?
This was me before I left my home to do practically anything. Keeping track of all the items I needed for various activities, no matter how many times I had done those activities, always felt overwhelming and stressful. For work, I need my ID card on a lanyard, my name badge, and an ethernet cable adapter. When I volunteer, I need to bring my name badge and a specific t-shirt that identifies me as a volunteer. For my personal training sessions, I need to pack an athletic top and shorts, my heart rate monitor, a water bottle, a sweatband, my gym membership card, and the right shoes. I struggled to remember these items in my rush out the door, and I couldn’t reliably keep them in one designated place.
Accepting that forgetfulness, disorganization, and time blindness are a part of my ADHD was a milestone toward self-forgiveness. But I knew that I had to find a way to limit the overwhelm and forgetfulness that plague “neurospicy” people like myself.
Go Bags for ADHD: The Ultimate Organizing Hack
While mulling it over, I noticed that my partner keeps her stationery in a zippered bag. Everything she needs related to stationery is in that single, portable bag – not scattered about in random spots. And there, in the simplest of organizing tools, was my solution.
Rather than waste time tracking down (often misplaced) individual items around my home for a particular activity (while racing against the clock), I created “go bags” for various activities. If I’m spending the day in the office, I toss my office go bag into my backpack and I don’t think twice about what’s in there, secure in knowing I won’t have to ask for anyone to badge me in. I also have go bags for my personal training sessions and for volunteering.
How to Create and Maintain Your Own Go Bags
I know this isn’t an earth-shaking organization tool, but I’m happy with my go bag strategy because it’s simple, effective, relatively low-maintenance, and endlessly adaptable. You don’t have to use a zippered bag – substitute a plastic container, a reusable shopping bag, a fanny pack, anything portable that can hold your items. Here are some sample go bags to get you started:
Dog walking: Treats, waste bags, light-up collar (for night walks)
Everyday health: Hand sanitizer, sunscreen, lip balm, ADHD medication, lotion
Gym: ID card, clothes, water bottle, fitness monitors, sweat band or microfiber cloth
International travel: Passport, travel adapter, credit card with no international fees
Studying: Pens, highlighters, sticky notes, flash cards, energy bar (preferably one that doesn’t expire anytime soon!)
Swimming: Swimsuit, towel, goggles, water bottle, sandals
I know what you’re thinking: How do I remember to bring my go bags? I’m not perfect, but I’ve found that setting an essential item, like my car keys, on top of the bag works well. After all, I can only go so far from home without my car keys.
What about maintaining go bags? Some go bags (like for the gym) require more maintenance than others. Make it a point to check your go bags once a week, once a month, and at any other frequency that works for you. You may find it helpful to make duplicate go bags, like a toiletry go bag, to keep in your car, office, bathroom, nightstand, and other areas. Go bags, especially duplicate go bags, may take more time to set up initially, but they’ll definitely save you time, energy, and frustration in the long run. Think of it as doing your future self multiple favors.
For those of us with ADHD, there’s no greater thrill than sharing the hack to end all hacks – the strategy that finally got us to do the thing. (Bonus points if the hack was right under our noses all along.) I find go bags necessary to alleviate the racing thoughts, confusion, and overwhelm that once was getting out the door to face everyday life.
Go Bag for ADHD Organization: Next Steps
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The day I finally pulled the trigger and wiped all my social media accounts was the same day I posted a photo of my husband and me in a hot air balloon gazing thoughtfully at the miniature orchards beneath us. It was the perfect way to announce our wedding anniversary. These are the things that speak to people, right?
Apparently not. “Only 27 likes?” my brain scoffed. My mother-in-law’s voice rang in my ears: “Your expectations are your worst enemy.” I hate it when she’s right.
The truth is that she’s going to be right as long as I have ADHD, which, unfortunately (but, also fortunately), will be always. Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) exists, and learning about it for the first time as a clinical psychologist allowed me to better understand my patients and finally name one of the most perplexing aspects of my own ADHD. I understood why I couldn’t handle rejection in all forms, including the rejection that is baked into social media use.
I’ll admit that the time I spent off social media was incredible. The world looked and felt brighter and clearer when I finally put down the phone and took a look around. But after seven years, social media has called me back – a desire that has caused equal parts confusion and intrigue.
I’m not back for the likes or validation. I returned because, as a psychologist who specializes in working with children, teens, and young adults, I have something to say to youth struggling with mental health challenges today. I want to be there for them, and I cannot be heard or reach youth, I fear, without using social media.
Since re-entering the social media sphere and navigating the sensory overload that is YouTube and TikTok (I’m @drgillykahn on both platforms) I’m taking note of the healthy social media habits that are keeping me balanced – habits that may help you use social media in a healthy way, too.
1. Ask yourself why you’re using social media. You’re more likely to have positive experiences with social media if you tie its uses to a concrete purpose or value – like staying in touch with people you care about. Notice how you feel as you visit platforms and consider if the benefits outweigh the costs. It may be time to limit your use or get off certain platforms completely if social media is encouraging compare and despair, keeping you up at night, and anxiously attaching you to your phone.
2. Stick it to The Man. Think of social media breaks as a way to stick it tor the corporate giants who use you as pawns for consumerism and data collection. That’s another reason to use social media with intention, not passively. In other words, use social media in the same way that it uses you. Joke’s on you, social media!
3. Don’t be afraid to create physical distance from your phone. I remember the good old days when we had a landline and had to sprint across the house to answer the phone. Nowadays, it’s like our phones are fused to our hands. Unless you have a valid reason for keeping your phone near you, keep it in your bag, in another room, or out of sight somehow. If you must, build up to keeping your device away in 30-minute increments. Take it a step further by disabling notifications.
4. Remind yourself that social media is not real life. If you catch yourself in an RSD or comparison spiral after spending time on social media, ride out the wave of your emotions and then remind yourself that a lot of what you see on these platforms is simply not representative of reality. There aren’t beauty filters to activate on the fly in real life, for one, and most people only post the good part of their days, not the boring or negative stuff. Also remember that the relative anonymity of the Internet often emboldens users to post mean comments; don’t let this skew your perception of how interactions actually work in the real world. Your emotional responses to negative experiences online are valid, but keep in mind that platforms are designed to raise the volume on entertainment and drama while often muting sensitivity to, well, rejection sensitivity.
5. Let RSD inspire your posts. Shake things up by showing the world that being vulnerable is acceptable and admirable. Our heightened sensitivities should be nothing to be ashamed of. Allow yourself to be yourself on social media and consider sharing your emotional experiences in the moment. Who knows, maybe you will help someone recognize RSD in themselves and encourage others to spread support and acceptance of big emotions as a pertinent and underrecognized aspect of ADHD.
Healthy Social Media Habits: Next Steps
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A colleague recently sent me a meme that compared living with ADHD to constantly choosing to play a video game’s side quests – optional missions that are not required to complete the game – over its main quest. I laughed at the meme and reflected on the side quests and non-linear paths I’ve pursued in my own life, in and out of my career as a teacher.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve learned to sew and knit mittens, bake bread, bake sourdough bread (a completely different process), decorate cakes, cook and preserve a variety of foods, make candles, craft homemade lip balm and lotion, and edit with Photoshop. I volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters, ran four half marathons and three full marathons, did a triathlon, and a (maybe ill-advised) mountain race, all as I earned a master’s degree.
I’m on a side quest right now. I am writing a biology unit even though my school doesn’t currently offer a biology class. Should I devote my time to other lessons? Probably. But I tend to plan my lessons as they come to me. I’ve learned that my best work comes when I follow my creative instincts. Even if I forced myself to work linearly, I know it would result in subpar lesson plans.
I don’t list these side quests, many of which I consider accomplishments, to brag, (I am not particularly good at any of the above) but to emphasize that if anyone knows about ADHD side quests – the good and the not-so-good parts of them – it’s me. I can’t tell you how many times I’d set out to do something, like clean my kitchen, only to spend that time doing anything but, like perfecting my baking skills. As frustrating as it is to stray from my intentions (I ended up with yummy bread and a dirtier kitchen), I firmly believe that all the side quests I’ve embarked on have served me in the long run. I also know that this breadth of learning is only possible when I lean into my ADHD.
What’s Life – and Learning – Without Side Quests?
While funny, the ADHD meme suggests that side quests and non-linear paths are ultimately wasteful. It’s a mentality I see in the field of education, which is quick to discourage and even punish side quests and non-linear approaches. Students are largely taught to complete the main quest using only a handful of accepted procedures, without room for detours. It’s a mentality that negatively affects students who learn differently, including students with ADHD, who come to learn to view their condition as an impediment to academic success.
Side quests, I say, are not wasteful. Even within video games, you can earn rewards for playing side quests and gain skills that eventually aid in completing the main quest. If you shut off the game after finishing a handful of side quests, without so much as attempting the main quest, you would still consider it a success, if not a good time.
How can we bring this approach to learning? I have a few ideas.
1. Recognize that success and learning come in many forms. Point A to Point B may work for some students, but some of us need to stop at Points C through F, with a layover at stoichiometry and a quick detour to the American Revolution.
2. Provide opportunities to go down the rabbit hole. We should encourage students to take tangents and scratch those exploratory itches. My students get two days at the end of each term for digging deeper into a topic that was particularly interesting to them and then sharing with the class. It’s an opportunity to hyperfocus that also increases engagement, and it teaches students to view tangents and side quests in a positive light.
3. Reframe mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Mistakes and snags are part of learning (we can even consider them as side quests of their own), but it’s not always pleasant to brush up against them, whether they happen on side quests or the main quest. Take a page from video games, where failure doesn’t really exist and mistakes aren’t the end of the world. You may lose the round, but you’re allowed to play and play, using what you’ve learned until you get it right and move on to the next level.
How to Engage Students: Next Steps
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“Positive reinforcement, encouragement, and rewards help us create good habits; shame, criticism, and negative self-talk do not,” I say to a client, terrified that they see right through me and know that I’m actively beating myself up for falling weeks behind on paperwork.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 24 years old in the middle of earning my masters in clinical mental health counseling. I had always been praised for my intelligence. At the same time, I struggled with not feeling good enough, partly because of my challenges with disorganization, getting things done, forgetfulness, and other executive function areas where I sometimes came up short. I felt like an imposter. Of course, I knew that I was a capable person (and who doesn’t have imperfections?) but knowing and feeling are two very different things.
Even after completing my counselor training, embarking on a self-healing journey, and achieving a greater understanding of ADHD, feelings of shame, self-doubt, and anxiety still come up for me – the same feelings I help my own clients navigate. There are days when Imposter Syndrome crushes me, and when the shame spiral gets the best of me. I’ve gotten better at taking my own advice during those tough times, and it does help. Take it from me: You’ll want to use these strategies, too.
1. Self-Compassion Always Beats Out Self-Criticism
In times of high frustration, dysregulation, and paralysis, you may have found yourself thinking, “Why am I like this? I hate myself!” I know I have when I feel stuck and worthless. The moments when I want to shame and criticize myself are the moments when I need love and self-compassion the most, I’ve learned.
Imagine taking a moment to talk to that part of yourself that’s stuck on the couch scrolling on TikTok for hours because one look at the messy kitchen sent you into freeze mode. How does that part of you feel? What does it need? Maybe some encouragement and validation? Say to yourself, “I see that you’re overwhelmed and feeling a bit stuck. That must be so difficult and stressful. I know that you want to get those dishes done – maybe listening to a good song and singing along will get you moving. Let’s give it a try!
2. Be Proud of Yourself When Building Habits — and Prouder Still When You Restart
“This time will be different!” How many times have you said this to yourself after buying a new planner, signing up for the gym, starting a new school semester, and embarking on something new? If you’re anything like me, you’ll know that, inevitably, the newness fades, and so does the dopamine and the habit. You feel like a failure for not being able to stick to new habits.
But what if you just accepted that habit-forming is difficult, and that failing to stick to a habit isn’t the end of the world? I know when I start a new workout kick or cleaning schedule, I try to remember that that momentum will eventually fade, in large part due to how my brain works. This helps me let go of the shame around perceived failure and find a way to start the habit again in a new, engaging way.
3. Ask for Help. Don’t Hide Your Problems.
Shame shuts us down and tells us to keep things hidden. An antidote to shame is to be open about what’s troubling you. Acknowledge to yourself that you’re overwhelmed and exhausted. Talk about it over FaceTime with a friend. Tell a coworker that you’re behind on your work and make a plan to fix it.
When I was chronically behind on notes and documentation at work, the stress followed me home, affected my work with clients, and made me dread the next work day. It stayed that way until I talked to my boss and coworkers about it. I was able to make a plan with my coworker to “body double” every time we both had a free hour. My boss also checked in on me weekly, which helped me make realistic goals to get caught up. Will I still get behind on paperwork from time to time? Yes! But it doesn’t make me feel as overwhelmed and blocked as it once did.
“I don’t have time to read or journal when there’s still so much left to do!”
Denying yourself basic physical, emotional, and cognitive needs is not going to help you get things done faster. They are needs and should be treated as such, not as things you are only worthy of if you meet expectations. If I deny myself sleep to complete a task, it’s going to take me longer to complete it because I’ll be sleep deprived. If I don’t take time to journal, I’ll be too dysregulated to attend to what I need to. As a mental health professional, if I don’t take care of my own mental health, I am not in a place to help others. You are always worthy of giving yourself what you need.
Who says? Have you considered that the things we’ve been taught about productivity and functioning may not be well-suited for our brain type or learning style? If you get work done faster by jumping from project to project instead of focusing on one thing at a time, keep at it! If you can absorb information better by moving your body, do it! No one can claim to know you better than you know yourself.
ADHD Shame Spiral Advice: Next Steps
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
The following is a personal essay, and not a medical recommendation endorsed by ADDitude. For more information about ADHD nutrition, speak with your physician.
One trademark of ADHD is low levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter released by the brain that makes kids feel good and helps them focus. Increasing dopamine in the brain through medication is an effective treatment for ADHD. However, more than a year into a nationwide stimulant shortage, parents still struggle to fill prescriptions for their kids.
As the shortage stretches on, many caregivers are working to implement ADHD treatment tactics without medication. Here are some gut health strategies to consider.
Don’t Skip Meals
The way your child’s brain works is influenced by what they eat, and good nutrition is essential. Eating unhealthy, non-nutritious foods may contribute to inattention and problematic behaviors, while a diet with a variety of healthy foods nourishes the brain to pay attention and function optimally.
A study in Cell Metabolism found that dopamine release in the brain can occur at two different times: when food is swallowed and once the food reaches the stomach.1 Skipping a meal robs the body of two potential releases of dopamine. If your child is not hungry, try to keep them on a regular meal schedule to help regulate opportunities for dopamine release. Healthy snacks help, too. A protein-rich diet, including fish, poultry, eggs, and legumes (e.g., beans, lentils, peas, etc.), can help increase dopamine levels.
Introduce Variety
Many kids with ADHD want to eat the same things every day, but doing so may mean they miss out on producing more of that feel-good hormone. Research has also found a strong connection between gut health and mental health. 2 A healthy gut is best described as having a diverse microbiome, consisting of different types of microorganisms (bacteria, fungi, viruses, etc.) that coexist harmoniously in the digestive tract. Increasing the diversity of your child’s gut microbiome with a protein-rich diet, including fish, poultry, eggs, and legumes (e.g., beans, lentils, peas, etc.), ensures that dopamine can be adequately synthesized.
Introduce new foods slowly and in a variety of ways. For example, pick a vegetable your child usually eats and connect it to another vegetable or legume. So if your child eats raw carrots, pair them with a dip made of puréed red peppers or smooth refried beans. If your child prefers crunchy foods, make crunchy cooked veggies in the oven or air fryer. Experiment with spices, too. Offering your child small tastes (repeatedly) will build their acceptance of new foods. Kids are more likely to expand their taste and preference for new foods when given multiple chances to learn about and experience new food.
Young children, especially those with ADHD, may be easily distracted during mealtimes. Make it a point to give your child a heads-up on what’s for dinner and when it will be served. Kids with ADHD do best when they know what to expect and follow a schedule. Then, turn off all electronic devices, including the TV, while eating to limit distractions. If possible, sit and eat together at the table. This lets your child know that during meals, it’s time to pause (even for a minute) and focus on eating. This is also a great time to share a moment with your child.
Gut Health Strategies for Treating ADHD: Next Steps
CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
The opinions expressed in ADDitude Guest Blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of ADDitude. Blogs are not reviewed by an ADDitude physician or any member of the ADDitude editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. ADDitude does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.
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