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  • 6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being

    6 Aspects Of A Balanced Person: A Complete Picture of Well-Being



    What are the six aspects of a balanced person? Physical, mental, emotional, social, work/financial, and meaning/spiritual. Learn more about each one and how to improve it!


    In life, there isn’t one single area that we need to focus on that is going to magically fix all of our problems.

    Instead there are multiple dimensions behind every “good life.” Each dimension requires our attention and each contributes to our overall happiness and well-being.

    Here are six aspects of life that come together to create a “balanced person.” By being more aware of these different dimensions in life, we can determine which areas we need to focus on more and work to improve.

    The different aspects of a balanced person include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial and 6) Meaning/Spiritual.

    If we focus too much on any one area, then we risk neglecting another one. For example, if you become solely focused on just work and money, you may end up spending less time taking care of your physical and mental health, or less quality time with family and friends.

    This is a common trap people fall into. They focus all of their energy and effort into one area in life while completely ignoring another. Often they need to reconfigure their core values and priorities before making a meaningful change.

    This is why practicing balance in all things is so important.

    Each of these areas is one piece of a much larger puzzle, and only when you have all of these areas working together harmoniously can you finally build a complete life that serves all of your needs.

    Here’s a detailed breakdown of each aspect of a “balanced person,” along with tips, tools, and practical advice on how you can start improving each one.

    While reading ask yourself, “Which aspect do I need to focus on the most right now? What’s one small change I can make to improve that area?”

    Now let’s dive in…

    1. PHYSICAL WELL-BEING

    health

    The “physical” aspect of life is all about taking care of our health, especially exercise, diet, and sleep.

    This includes what types of foods and drinks we consume on a daily basis, how often we exercise and keep our bodies moving, personal hygiene and cleanliness, as well as minimizing alcohol, smoking, and other harmful habits to our physical health.

    Our body is one of the most precious gifts we have – and without it we can’t exist. If we don’t stay healthy, we often can’t fully enjoy all the other aspects of life such as family, work, traveling, or leisure.

    Our health can often have a spillover effect into all the other aspects of our lives – for that reason, taking care of our physical health is often an essential first step on any road to self-improvement.

    No matter what the current state of our health is, it’s never too late to start changing our habits, even if it’s something small like stretching in the morning, taking daily walks outside, or starting an active hobby like Yoga, marathon running, or playing sports.

    A healthy body is a healthy mind. When we take better care of our bodies, we also feel more confident, motivated, and energized overall. That’s the beginning of bringing out your best self.


    Things to do:

    • Identify small ways to be more physically active. Often our days are filled with opportunities to be more active, we just need to take advantage of them. Try to cultivate an “everything counts” mindset when it comes to exercise, even if it just means taking a walk around the block, or stretching in the morning, or doing push-ups before lunch. Any physical activity is better than none at all – so seek out small and convenient ways to keep your body moving throughout the day. If you find yourself sitting for long periods of time, get up and do chores, take a walk around the office, or make a phone call while standing up. A sedentary lifestyle is one of the biggest risk factors when it comes to poor health, so finding any reason to stand up more is better than sitting.
    • Find exercise that “clicks” with you and your personality. Different things work for different people. Some people need to commit themselves to a gym membership to get themselves off the couch, while others prefer to work out in the comfort of their own homes. Your personality shapes what exercise you like, so it’s important you find activities that resonate and “click” with you, rather than trying to force yourself to do something you really don’t enjoy. All you need is that one hobby to take your fitness to the next level, whether it be finding an enjoyable sport (like Tennis, or Baseball, or Basketball), or even exercising through video games (such as Wii Fit or Dance Dance Revolution). Try to think of physical activities you enjoyed as a kid, that can often be a good place to rekindle motivation.
    • Keep a healthy and consistent sleep schedule. Sleep is one of the most important habits when it comes to your overall physical and mental health. Research shows that those who don’t get sufficient sleep (between 6-10 hours every night) often suffer worse health outcomes like a weaker immune system, higher risk of obesity, lower energy and stamina, and more stress and anxiety. If your sleep habits aren’t healthy or consistent, it will likely have a negative “ripple effect” on almost every other aspect of your day. When you’re tired and fatigued, you’re more likely to make mistakes at work or argue with your spouse. It’s important not only to get between 6-10 hours of sleep each night, but also to maintain a consistent schedule. If you don’t sleep much on the weekends, it’s difficult to “catch up” on those lost hours throughout the week. Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day if possible. Here are more important lessons behind a good night’s sleep, including recognizing that some people are natural “early birds” or “night owls,” and that’s something you need to recognize and work with.
    • Pay attention to your food and diet. There are many different diets out there to choose from – and people can have long debates about which one is better – but the most important thing is to not eat too much, especially junk food, fast food, soda, sweets, and lots of processed food. Use your commonsense. Experiment with different diet changes and see what works best for you. Different diets work better for different people – so there’s no “one size fits all” solution to what exactly you should eat or not eat. One simple diet change is to substitute all your soda/juice/sugary drinks with water instead. Drinking plenty of water is never a bad place to start – most people don’t recognize how dehydrated they can be throughout the day and how it effects them. If you’re trying to lose weight, one popular option you can consider is intermittent fasting where you allow yourself to eat for an 8 hour window each day and fast for the remaining 16 hours. You can also try the “One Meal A Day” approach, where you restrict yourself to just one big meal (with minimal snacking). In general, pay attention to how your body responds to the things you eat: What foods leave you tired and feeling like crap? What foods make you energized and feeling good?
    • Take care of personal hygiene and cleanliness. Proper hygiene is another important aspect of physical health. While it can seem like commonsense, basic habits like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, getting a haircut, trimming your nails, and washing your face are are all important things not to neglect. Not only does cleanliness prevent you from catching germs and getting sick, you also feel better about yourself when you present yourself in the best way possible (and smell good). Often we are surprised by how much better we feel after a fresh new haircut, or clean new clothes, or new cologne/perfume. When mental health is low, we sometimes neglect these basic habits out of laziness or apathy, which is why they are a crucial first step in self-improvement if we aren’t paying enough attention to them.
    • Minimize your bad habits. No one is 100% perfect and we all have a couple bad habits, whether it be eating too many sweets, or drinking alcohol, or staying up late, or smoking cigarettes. In general, it’s important to quit (or minimize) our unhealthy habits as much as possible. “Choose your crutches wisely.” Keep in mind the long-term consequences of your habits – while it may not feel like they are hurting you right now, their effects can often catch up to you in the future. When trying to quit any bad habit, identify your triggers and work from there to change to change your patterns. Often by creating more boundaries between you and your bad habits, you can overcome your urge to do them (until it’s no longer an automatic habit anymore). If you find that you have a serious problem with addiction or drug abuse, consider professional help (such as a therapist, psychologist, or counselor) – there are often local resources available in your area if you do a quick search.

    Please don’t underestimate the importance of keeping your body in the best shape possible. As Socrates famously said, “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

    Physical health is about much more than just looking and feeling good about yourself – it’s about living a life of vitality and longevity. You can have everything else in your life figured out, but if you don’t maintain your health you won’t be around very long to use or enjoy it.

    2. MENTAL WELL-BEING

    mental

    If you don’t take care of your body then it will slowly deteriorate – and the same is true for your mind.

    Just because you don’t have to go to school anymore doesn’t mean you can’t keep learning new things, keeping your brain sharp, and challenging your intellect.

    Reading books. Learning about new topics. Having deep conversations. Attending lectures and workshops. Following the news. These are all commonsense ways to keep our minds active and continue to update our knowledge and belief system as we move through life.

    Learning is a lifelong endeavor. Balanced people are always seeking new things to dig into and learn more about like a new hobby, new game, or new skill such as painting, chess, learning a new language, or playing a musical instrument.

    In addition, research shows that continuing to challenge our brain is an important way to prevent cognitive decline as we get older, including lower the risk of dementia and memory loss.


    Things to do:

    • Read more books. Reading is one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp and learn new things. Nonfiction books about science, history, philosophy, or self help can grow your knowledge and broaden your perspective on life; and reading fiction has been shown to have many cognitive benefits such as boosting empathy, creative thinking, and expanding your vocabulary. If you haven’t read a book in awhile, try to make it a goal to read at least one book this year. You can start with a book you already own but never got a chance to read, or ask a friend for a book recommendation, or get a card from your local library and explore countless books for free. Find a topic or subject that interests you and start there!
    • Learn a new skill. Learning multiple skills is a hallmark of being a balanced and well-rounded person. It’s never too late in life to dive into something completely new, such as playing a musical instrument, learning a new language, writing poetry, painting, or playing chess. A jack of all trades mindset can make you stand-out from others in unique ways. Many people have a talent or passion for at least one thing, but when you start combining talents and cultivating multiple interests it shows your range and flexibility as a person. Don’t limit yourself. There’s no pressure to become a “professional” or “expert” in everything you do, just stay on a learning path, have fun while doing it, and enjoy seeing the growth as you go.
    • Watch documentaries. Documentaries are a fun and easy way to explore new topics and learn about interesting things you otherwise wouldn’t experience. Depending on what you like, there are many different subjects to choose from: history, sports, biographies, science, inspirational stories, or nature documentaries (which have also been shown to boost positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and awe). I’ve made a lengthy list of recommended documentaries which I try to keep updated as I discover new ones. Check it out and choose one that catches your eye!
    • Monitor your information diet. Our current world is overloaded with information, including a lot that is wrong, misleading, or straight up lies and propaganda. Now more than ever we need to pay close attention to the information we consume on a daily basis. Try to find trustworthy news and educational sites where you can easily verify what they are saying from other sources. Beware of going down esoteric “rabbit holes” where people only confirm their own biases and beliefs. Actively seek out information from multiple sides so you’re at least aware of different perspectives and counter-arguments. The information pyramid is a great guide on how you should prioritize certain sources over others. In general, a peer-reviewed scientific study should be given more weight than some random influencer on social media. Keep in mind it’s also possible to consume too much and become an information junkie, where you’re addicted to learning new things, but you never act on it or put it into practice.
    • Spend time in active reflection. Give yourself time to think and digest, even if it’s just for 10 minutes while sitting with your first cup of coffee in the morning. You don’t always need to be filling your brain with facts to be a smarter person, you also need to know how to step back and contemplate what you know. Active and engaged minds are always taking advantage of opportunities for everyday reflection when sitting on the bus, taking a shower, or walking the dog. Often your best ideas and insights come in moments when you’re not trying to solve a problem directly but just mulling it over in your mind. Schedule time for solitude every now and then and don’t be afraid to sit alone with your thoughts.
    • Learn how your mind works. One essential component to being a more intelligent thinker is knowing how your mind works. We naturally believe we understand ourselves best, but psychology and neuroscience can sometimes reveal counter-intuitive facts and tendencies. To start, our minds are very susceptible to cognitive biases and logical fallacies that can muddy our thinking and understanding of reality. One of the most common errors is black and white thinking, where we believe a situation needs to be either “A” or “B,” but a third perspective, “C,” is the more accurate view. Our minds like to over-simplify things when reality can often be more nuanced and complex. Show intellectual humility. Be open to being wrong and be open to changing your mind in the face of new evidence and experience.

    Take your education seriously. Maintain a healthy and active brain. Even if you were never a good student in school, that doesn’t mean you can’t improve your knowledge and intelligence, especially once you find subjects you are deeply passionate about. Benjamin Franklin once said, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

    3. EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

    emotional

    In the “Mental” section we covered how to keep our brains active and be more intelligent thinkers, but there’s also a whole other side of our psychology that we need to pay attention to as well: our “Emotional” side.

    Emotions can often seem like something that we have limited power over, but being a more emotionally intelligent person means becoming more self-aware and learning how to better respond to our emotions in the moment.

    We can’t ignore our emotions or push them aside forever, they are a necessary facet of life and we must learn to navigate our emotional world effectively if we want to live the best life possible.

    Remember that emotions are a resource, not a crutch. Every emotion serves a function or purpose, and if we channel our emotions in a constructive direction we can make great things happen.

    One important lesson is that even negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, or fear are helpful to a better life if we approach them from the right perspective.


    Things to do:

    • Learn the basics of emotional intelligence. There are 4 fundamental pillars of emotional intelligence that we need to cultivate: 1) Self-awareness (recognizing our emotions when they happen), 2) Self-regulation (knowing how to respond to our emotions and channel them in a positive direction, 3) Empathy (being aware of other people’s emotions and internal states), and 4) Social Skills (knowing how to respond to other people’s emotions in a healthy and constructive way). Certain people may be strong at some of these and not for others. For example, someone may be really empathetic and caring, but not know how to regulate their own mood and emotions, leading to burnout and emotional fatigue. An emotionally intelligent person must work on all four of these pillars.
    • Improve body awareness. All emotions have a physical component to them. When you learn how to identify the physical sensations behind each emotion, you’ll be much more attuned to your feelings in the moment as you’re experiencing them. This helps you to be more aware of your feelings before acting on them, and to recognize how emotions often want to push or pull you in a certain direction (“do this” vs. “don’t do that”). Every feeling serves a different function depending on its emotional valence (“positive” vs. “negative”) and arousal level (“high energy” vs. “low energy”). With practice, this improved body awareness can also boost your intuition, making you a better reader of your “gut feelings” and what they are telling you.
    • Learn to channel negative emotions. Negative emotions can serve a positive function if you know how to respond to them in a constructive way. If you struggle with any specific negative emotion (sadness, fear, guilt, or anger), then create a plan for how you will respond to it the next time it arises. For example, “If I’m angry, then I’ll go exercise,” or “If I’m sad, then I’ll write in my journal.” Emotions are energy that can be channeled in multiple directions. Write a list of the many ways you can respond to any negative emotion. Remind yourself you have a choice, and you don’t have to keep following the same pattern between negative emotion → negative behavior. One popular technique is opposite action, where you intentionally do the opposite of what a feeling is telling you to do (to reverse the cycle of negativity).
    • Practice meditation and daily mindfulness. Meditation is a great avenue for better understanding and regulating your emotions. It teaches you how to step back and just observe your thoughts and feelings without needing to immediately react to them. This space between “feelings” and “actions” is crucial for being a more emotionally intelligent person; it’s the main principle behind discipline, willpower, and self-control. Never forget that just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you need to act on it. If you’re completely new to meditation, start with the 100 breaths meditation – a simple exercise where you just focus on your breathing. It’s also helpful to learn grounding techniques for when you feel overwhelmed, such as mindful stretching or a 5 senses meditation.
    • Embrace creative expression. It’s difficult to describe many emotions with only words so it’s important to embrace other ways of expressing yourself, such as through music, photography, dance, painting, drawing, acting, or film. Often when I meet people who don’t feel fully connected to their emotional self, they usually lack ways of expressing themselves through art and creativity. A creative outlet is often a prerequisite to better understanding and navigating your emotional world, even if you don’t typically think of yourself as a “creative person.”
    • Savor all of your positive experiences. Life is filled with many joys and pleasures throughout the day and we should try to savor them as much as possible. We have many positive emotions to choose from – joy, gratitude, peace, awe, excitement, laughter, and wonder – and there are a variety of activities that can lead to more positive emodiversity in our lives. Don’t just chase after the same positive experiences over and over again, seek new experiences, new hobbies, and new ways of enjoying life. Learn how to savor happiness as much as possible by being more present in the moment, creating positive memories, and reminiscing on good times.
    • Relax and manage daily stress. Last but not least, it’s necessary we cover stress management as an essential component to mental health and emotional intelligence. Stress is a normal part of everyday life, but if you don’t know how to manage it in a healthy way it can often have a negative influence on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by making you more sensitive, irritable, angry, and bothered (even by little things that don’t really matter). Recognize when to push yourself vs. when to step back and recharge. In the complete guide on daily stress, you’ll find a great framework for reframing your “fight, flight, or freeze” response by viewing stress as a signal to pay attention to and guide you throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the importance of your comfort zone and use it as a place to recharge after a challenging or overwhelming day.

    Emotions can “make us” or “break us” depending on how emotionally intelligent we are. They are a fundamental part of life, but we often have more power over them than we realize. Learn how to channel your emotions in a healthy and constructive way – become a master of them, not a slave to them.

    4. SOCIAL WELL-BEING

    social

    Healthy and positive relationships are an essential ingredient to happiness and well-being.

    No matter who you are, you crave some type of social connection; even the most introverted person on the planet will have a tough time finding happiness all by themselves.

    There used to be a time when I believed “I don’t need people to be happy, all I need is myself.” But over the years I’ve learned more and more that having social support and a sense of belonging is a basic human need that can’t be avoided.

    How strong is your current social circle? Here’s advice to get you started.


    Things to do:

    • Stay connected with friends and family. You should try your best to stay in touch with people who you already have a strong relationship with, especially family and old friends. There’s a simple power in checking in on people and preserving social connections you’ve already established. It doesn’t take much time or effort to show you’re thinking about someone: a simple text, email, or phone call is all you need to let people know you still care and value your relationship with them. You’d be surprised by how much other people appreciate you reaching out to them, even if you haven’t spoken to them in a really long time.
    • Embrace small social interactions. Every time you leave your home, there is opportunity for social interaction. To build your social muscles, embrace the power of 10 second relationships, such as saying “Hi,” to a neighbor or coworker, small talk with a cashier or cab driver, or sparking up a quick conversation while waiting for the train or bus. Research shows even super tiny social interactions can boost positive emotions and feelings of social connectedness. This can also be a great exercise for people who are very introverted (or have a lot of social anxiety) and want to start being a more social person. Make a plan to have a pleasant interaction with at least one new person every day.
    • Learn how to have endless conversations. One big concern for people when it comes to meeting new people is, “What do I say? What if I run out of things to talk about?” One popular technique known as conversation threading provides an excellent framework so that you never run out of topics to talk about. The basic idea is that every sentence contains multiple “threads” we can go down, and often the art of good conversation is being able to 1) Listen to what people say, and 2) Choose a thread to talk more about. Rinse and repeat and a conversation can go on forever. Also consider improvisation exercises so that you can be a faster and more creative thinker in the moment.
    • Improve communication and conflict resolution. It’s a cliché, but communication is everything in relationships. If you don’t know how to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest and constructive way, you’ll have trouble building genuine and healthy connections with others at home, work, or wherever you need to cooperate and work together with people. In romantic relationships, it’s important to know how to communicate your feelings without manipulating or being dramatic. In family and work environments, it’s important to know how to defuse heated arguments before they spiral out of control. The truth is people can be difficult and you’re not going to like everyone’s company. That’s natural. Conflicts have the potential to arise in any social situation, because people have different beliefs, values, and personalities that may be incompatible with each other. What’s most important is to teach yourself the best methods for conflict resolution so you can better navigate the complexities of your social world.
    • Find opportunities to meet new people. Most people make friends through work or school. Once we get older, it can become more difficult to find new connections or become a part of new social circles. Recent research shows that most adults claim to have “less than 5 close friends.” If you’re looking to expand your circle, there are many opportunities available to you. Depending on your likes, hobbies, and interests, consider going out more to music shows, bars, coffee shops, workshops, church/religious services, bowling leagues, adult education classes, sports events, or book clubs. Seek out local groups in your area or volunteer somewhere. You can also take advantage of websites like Meet Up to connect with like-minded people who live close-by. All it takes is one new friend to introduce you to an entirely new social circle. Be patient and don’t worry if you don’t initially hit it off with the first couple people you meet. Finding the right relationships that fit into our lives can take time.
    • Use social media and the internet to connect. The internet can be a great place to connect with like-minded people who we’d never meet in the real world. Online communities on social media, message boards, or video games can often provide a valuable source of social interaction, especially for people who don’t have many “real life” friends. The internet can be particularly helpful for connecting with others who have rare or eccentric hobbies, such as fans of a specific author, athlete, music genre, or comic book franchise. Unfortunately, many online communities can also become negative, competitive, and toxic (see the online disinhibition effect), so it’s necessary you build a positive digital environment that works for you. That doesn’t mean hiding in your own “echo chamber,” but it does mean cultivating a feed and followers who ultimately add value to your life and don’t subtract it. First focus on topics you’re naturally interested in such as science, technology, sports, or movies. Try not to be a passive consumer of information, actively enter conversations by asking questions or sharing knowledge with others. Often times we can build meaningful connections with people online that are just as important as those we find in the real world. However, while online relationships can have many benefits, we shouldn’t see them as a substitute for real world “face to face” interactions.

    Always remember that quality of relationships > quantity of relationships.

    You don’t need to be super popular or the life of the party to have a healthy social life. All you need is a couple really close friends who support you, trust you, and enjoy your presence. That’s everything you need to be socially satisfied.

    Healthy relationships are a fundamental aspect of happiness and well-being for everyone. Our need to belong to a “tribe” or group is hardwired into our brain, biology, and evolution. Like every other aspect of a balanced person, it can’t be ignored.

    Are your daily social needs being fulfilled?

    5. WORK / FINANCIAL WELL-BEING

    work

    Another fundamental aspect of a balanced person is work, money, and material concerns.

    At the most basic level, we depend on food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and other necessities so we can live a healthy and dignified life.

    People that struggle to make a living can often hurt in many other areas: physical health (can’t afford good foods, healthcare, or medicine), relationships (can’t support family, no money for dating), as well as our mental and emotional well-being (stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem).

    Unless you win the lottery or have someone else to provide for you, finding a steady job or career is often one of the most focused on areas in life. From childhood up until we finish high school or college, we are constantly asked, “What do you want to do for a living?”

    A few people find jobs they love, many find jobs they like, and most find jobs they can at least tolerate. Balancing psychological needs with financial needs can be a difficult task depending on your current situation.

    While we don’t always get a choice in what we do for a living, there are important ways to give ourselves more power over our work life and financial life. Here are important guidelines to keep in mind.


    Things to do:

    • Focus on your strengths. Everyone has a place in this world where they add value. Before you decide what type of work you’d like to do for a living, it’s important to know what your natural strengths, skills, and talents are. If you’re friendly and good with people, you may excel at managing, customer service, or human resources type jobs. If you’re more introverted and creative, you may want to focus on writing, graphic design, computer programming, or freelance work. What type of activities are you typically good at (or at least above average)? What were your best subjects in school? What do you enjoy doing and why? Complete the strengths worksheet to discover more about your natural skillset. Ultimately, knowing your strengths will influence what types of jobs or career choices will suit you best – including where you contribute the most value.
    • Value education and experience. No matter what your job is, there are always new ways to learn and improve. The best workers in life are those who are always growing and mastering their craft. College is still an important part of education, but what’s even more important is to stay self-motivated and continue learning after school. Many people I know have landed successful jobs that had virtually nothing to do with what they studied in college. In several cases, they were people who taught themselves coding/programming, built a portfolio to show their work to potential employers, and climbed their way up the company ladder from there. All self-taught. You can also consider going to trade schools, workshops, mentorships, internships, and other forms of gaining knowledge and experience that are outside of the traditional college model. Any work experience is better than none at all – you just need to start somewhere and begin building yourself up.
    • Make the most of your job. While it’s rare for any of us to get our “dream job,” we can always make the most of our work life by being a good employee and doing our best. Use nudges to keep yourself motivated and productive throughout the day, learn mental strategies for getting things done that you normally “don’t like” doing, and make friends at work with bosses, coworkers, clients, or customers, because those are the people you’re going to be spending a lot of time with and it’s crucial you have healthy and functioning relationships with them. No matter what your job is try to see the underlying purpose or meaning behind it. What value does it add to the world? Are you proud of the work you do?
    • Live within your means. Regardless of how much money you make, one of the most commonsense rules for financial well-being is living within your means. This includes keeping a budget that you can maintain (for food, rent/mortgage, bills, gas, clothes, and leisure expenses), and not buying too much stuff you can’t immediately afford. Debt can be common at some point in our lives (due to student loans, credit card debt, medical emergencies, etc.), but try to be mindful to not put yourself in a hole that you can’t climb out of. Avoid luxury expenses that put you at financial risk. We sometimes over-extend ourselves due to social comparison and a “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. We think if our friend or neighbor gets a brand new car or goes on an expensive trip, then we need to “one-up” them with a similar purchase. Many times people fall into massive debt because they are trying to chase status, fame, luxury, or exorbitant pleasures. In general, keep track of all your monthly expenses and find ways to cut back on spending that isn’t necessary. Learn about spending biases that can lead to overconsumption (like the allure of “FREE!,” the “Relativity Trap,” and “One Click” purchases). Big corporations are masters of psychology and persuasion. If we aren’t vigilant about our spending habits (especially if you enjoy retail therapy), then we’ll often fall for tricks that cause us to spend more money than we should.
    • Create a healthy relationship with material things. This article is about being a balanced person. Work and money are very important aspects of life, but materialistic beliefs can also backfire to hurt us. No one lays down on their deathbed wishing they spent more time in the office. Work-a-holics can end up focusing so much on their career that they neglect giving enough attention to their family, health, and well-being. Never forget that there is a lot more to a good life than just money and material things, despite what you may see glamorized in movies, TV shows, or commercials. Psychology research shows that after a certain point, increased wealth and income has very little effect on our overall happiness and life satisfaction. Being rich sounds awesome, but it won’t necessarily make you any happier than if you earned less with a stable and secure life. Take the materialism quiz to see if you have a healthy relationship with money and stuff.

    Remember, money is important but it isn’t everything.

    Financial well-being will often look radically different depending on the person. Certain people may be content with modest and minimal living, while others crave more luxury, adventure, and pleasure. Whichever lifestyle you choose, it’s necessary that money finds the proper role in your life without being completely consumed by it.

    One succinct way to define true financial well-being is “not needing to think about money all the time.”

    6. MEANINGFUL / SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

    spiritual

    The meaningful or spiritual aspects of life can often be overlooked.

    We may occasionally ask ourselves big questions like, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” or “What’s my purpose?” but we rarely translate these questions into our daily lives through action.

    For many people, religion is their main source of spirituality and meaning. Attending church, being part of a local community, prayer, and volunteering or giving to charities are common ways people boost meaning in their daily lives. Religion has been shown to improve happiness and well-being by creating a strong sense of purpose and community.

    However, we don’t need religion to have a meaningful life. There are many other sources of meaning, including art, culture, philosophy, literature, music, relationships, activism, introspection, and creativity.

    Where do you get your meaning in life?


    Things to do:

    • Learn the pillars of a meaningful life. One excellent guide on how to live a meaningful life outlines five different pillars to focus on, including 1) A sense of belonging (having healthy relationships with those around you), 2) A sense of purpose (feeling that you contribute to a larger whole), 3) Storytelling (the life story we tell about ourselves, as well as stories and myths about the world we live in), 4) Transcendence (experiencing “awe” and “inspiration” in the presence of great things), 5) Growth (having a sense that you are evolving and moving forward as a person). All five pillars contribute to a rich and meaningful existence.
    • Spend more time in nature. Nature reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves, a whole process known as “life.” Nature is a fantastic source of meaning because it continuously inspires positive emotions like joy, amazement, gratitude, and awe. The best part is that nature is all around us – we don’t need to plan a weekend camping trip to experience it – instead just pay attention to everyday nature that is all around you: trees on the drive to work, birdwatching in your backyard, or spending time in your garden over the summer. Having pets to care for is another easy and wonderful source of nature and connection, even if it’s just a small fish tank to maintain. Nature also includes enjoying the beauty of a nice view such as sunrises, sunsets, mountaintops, storm watching, and star-gazing.
    • Take a complete picture perspective. Finding meaning requires being able to look at things from a big picture perspective. What influence do your actions have in the long-term? What type of impact will you leave on the world after you die? When you keep the complete picture in mind, you recognize that even super small actions can add up and have big results in the future. Your life doesn’t begin at birth nor end at death, you are part of an intergenerational chain of cause-and-effect that has stretched thousands of years. That’s a powerful thought if you can see the true significance behind it.
    • Embrace art, music, and culture. Artists are the creators of new meanings, especially famous painters, musicians, filmmakers, photographers, authors, playwrights, and dancers. Pursuing a creative hobby of your own is one fantastic way to infuse new meaning into your life. You can also embrace art and culture more by going to museums, art galleries, music concerts, and theaters. A lot of beautiful art is archived in online art and cultural exhibits, so you can discover a lot of new inspiration by just sitting in the comfort of your own home. Artists of all forms teach us how universal the human condition is. It’s a huge inspirational boost when you realize a book written over a hundred years ago resonates exactly with how you feel today. One of my strongest memories is attending a music concert of my favorite band with thousands of others listening and singing along. Creativity is one of humanity’s greatest gifts and there’s a lot of wisdom, beauty, and feelings of universal connection it can offer us.
    • Signs, symbols, and synchronicity. A meaningful life can be more about feeling inspiration and empowerment rather than thinking only logically and factually about the world. Embrace things you can’t always explain. If you feel like you’re getting a “sign” from the universe, accept it. Our minds often think unconsciously through the power of symbols, especially through reoccurring dreams or nightmares that may be trying to tell you something important. Meaning can be created anywhere if you have the right perspective. Many of my favorite moments in life are when I experience synchronicity, which is finding a connection between two things that seem completely unrelated at first. For example, if I start reading a book and then someone brings up the same book randomly the next day, I try to see that as a sign that I’m on the right path. It may or may not be true, but it is a simple and easy way to add more meaning to the little things in life.
    • Have faith that life is good. Faith may not have any role in science, but it does play an important role in good living. At the end of the day, one of the most important beliefs we can have is that “life is good” and things will generally work out in the end. One of my personal favorite quotes is, “Pray to God, but row to shore.” It shows us to have hope and faith in life, but still take action and try our best in the moment. Both faith and action are necessary ingredients to a happy and fulfilling life. A belief in God or a higher power can make this whole process easier. However, even if you can’t bring yourself to accept “metaphysical” or “supernatural” ideas, at least try to sense the oneness and interconnectedness of all things. These ideas are an endless source of power, strength, and resilience, even in the face of incredible hardships and tribulations.

    A “meaningful life” can be one of the most difficult areas of life to improve, especially while living in a world that is filled with nihilism, hedonism, and materialism.

    However, once you build a strong spiritual core you can withstand almost any difficulty or hardship. It can empower you to a whole new level that non-spiritual people don’t usually have access to.

    CONCLUSION

    To sum things up we must invest time and energy in all six of these aspects if we want to live a happy and balanced life.

    Once again, these six aspects of a balanced life include: 1) Physical, 2) Mental, 3) Emotional, 4) Social, 5) Work/Financial, and 6) Meaningful/Spiritual.

    Which area are you the strongest in? Which area are you the weakest in?

    Keep this framework in mind as you embark on a lifetime of self-improvement. Try the Daily Routine (PDF) exercise and use this resource as a guideline.


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    Steven Handel

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  • CBD Can Significantly Lower Dogs’ Stress and Anxiety in Car Travel, Study Shows

    CBD Can Significantly Lower Dogs’ Stress and Anxiety in Car Travel, Study Shows

    Taking your dog to the vet or anywhere that involves moving vehicles is stressful. For you, let alone the poor pup. But your favorite plant, particularly CBD, could make the experience easier for them. And, yes, you’re allowed to have some, too. 

    Dogs who enjoy a daily dose of CBD see “significant reductions” in stress and anxiety related to car travel, according to a new study. Scientists at Waltham Petcare Science Institute in the United Kingdom looked at both the behavioral and physiological stress response in canines given CBD (THC-free cannabis) and a placebo group who did not ingest CBD. They studied the doggos before, during, and after car trips. For the study, researchers partnered with the pet food and vet company Mars Petcare.

    Twenty dogs participated in the study. And these weren’t dogs who jump at the chance to stick their head out the window of a car and eagerly wave their tongue into the wind. To qualify, they all showed symptoms of anxiety and stress regarding car trips. But when given CBD, in this case, two hours before the required drive, every man’s best friend given CBD showed “meaningful improvements” during the 24 weeks the study lasted. 

    How you may ask, did they level dogs’ stress levels? The researchers monitored cortisol levels, a steroid hormone produced and released by your adrenal glands, which are endocrine glands situated above your kidneys, associated with stress. They also looked at more obvious factors, such as how much they whined. The results suggest that these stress indicators “were significantly influenced by CBD administration,” the study says, “indicating daily dosing at 4 mg/kg may have a mild anxiolytic effect on dogs when traveling in a car.” 

    The placebo group’s stress levels also went down. In humans, the placebo effect can be extremely effective; if you believe you’re taking something, your brain often reacts as if this is the case. But dogs don’t understand (as far as we know) the implications of taking an agent such as CBD, so the study assumes that the lowering of anxiety in the placebo group is the result of dogs getting used to driving. But, before we assume that this is why those who did take CBD showed less stress, note that this group of dogs, on average, had lower levels of cortisol post-test than they did when the study began. 

    But the stress indicators, such as cortisol, didn’t go away completely. As a result, the study’s authors suggest that, just like for you, CBD is most effective in reducing anxiety in dogs as part of a comprehensive approach, noting that CBD is “best used in combination with other interventions, such as behavioral modification therapy, in order to fully alleviate canine stress…These results, combined with the established pharmacokinetics of CBD oil to reach peak levels at 1.5 to 2 hours, with a half-life of 1 to 4 hours, suggests CBD could be used efficaciously as a single dose treatment prior to acute stressors.”

    The researchers concluded that “Additional research is warranted to better understand the effect of CBD at other dosages on improving dog emotional wellbeing.”

    Enjoying the calming effect of CBD isn’t the only thing humans have in common with dogs. Just like with our brains and bodies, stress can be pretty detrimental to your pet. Anxious dogs experience a range of symptoms, from physiological changes like increased heart rate and suppressed digestion to behavioral shifts, including heightened reactivity or depression. Stress can also lead to digestive problems such as diarrhea and vomiting, peeing more often or with less control, and obsessive-like behaviors like pacing and overgrooming. Poor things! Stress in dogs can also lead to heightened aggression, demonstrated through growling or biting. Over time, a high level of stress starts to have a negative cumulative effect on your dog’s health, which is all the more reason for you both to keep calm and chill out with CBD.

    This certainly isn’t the only research showing that dogs can benefit from cannabis. One 2018 study suggests that CBD can reduce seizures in dogs, while another from the same year finds that it can alleviate arthritis pain, Marijuana Moment reports. However, the legalization is putting weed-sniffing police jobs out of work. But perhaps getting to retire early is also good for reducing their stress levels, so it’s another win for canines and cannabis. 

    Sophie Saint Thomas

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  • What Yo-Yoing Between Caffeine & Alcohol Does To Your Body

    What Yo-Yoing Between Caffeine & Alcohol Does To Your Body

    We’ve all seen the T-shirts and knick-knack signs emblazoned with the alliterative slogan “coffee ’till cocktails.” It’s not just a cute saying—it’s a reality for many who bounce back and forth between the stimulating effects of coffee and the sedative effects of alcohol. Though it may feel like these beverages are a lifeline for getting you through the challenges of your day, yo-yoing between caffeine and alcohol can come with some downsides. 

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  • 9 Ways Cannabis Enhances Your Day

    9 Ways Cannabis Enhances Your Day

    Nothing like a fresh start to your day, week and year.  For many, marijuana is increasing part of the making it a great day.  Here are some reasons why

    Science has proven cannabis has benefits and more research is being done to learn more. For over a thousand years, the plant has been valued as medicine and for its psychoactive properties for religious and recreational use. It has a longer history than pasta, beer and Hallmark movies. From medical help to anxiety relievers, it has a way of making life better.  Here are 9 ways cannabis enhances your day.

    Increased Energy Levels  

    While cannabis is usually associated with relaxing, many people use cannabis for energy. Some cannabis strains contain terpenes like limonene and pinene can boost your mood and energize your mind. Look for strains with specific terpenes found in Sativa-type strains to help give you extra boost to conquer your day.

    Photo by Kirill Vasikev / EyeEm/Getty Images

    Improved Appetite  

    If you aren’t eating enough food, you won’t have sufficient energy to make it through the day. If you struggle with low or loss of appetite, cannabis could be just the thing for you. Cannabis is highly effective at stimulating appetite, helping you enjoy all your favorite foods on a regular basis.

    Ease Aches and Pains

    Cannabis has been used to soothe pain for at least 5000 years. Both cannabis and CBD contain gentle pain-relieving properties, but a purposeful dose of either CBD or  cannabis can relieve aches and pains.

    Improved Social Experiences

    Cannabis is the perfect substance to improve your social experiences because it helps you relax, boosts your mood, and makes you laugh. One of the most common ways to enhance your day with cannabis is to enjoy your favorite product with a friend.

    Improved Sleep  

    The best way to enhance your day with cannabis is to get a great night of sleep. Studies show sleep deprivation and stress go hand and hand. Sleep deprivation can impact your endocannabinoid system making you feel more stressed out. And stress can negatively impact your sleep quality. Cannabis products help people sleep better and longer. One of the main reasons people use cannabis for sleep as it helps them fall asleep faster. Many people find products high in CBD, CBN, or THC are highly effective at improving their sleep. You can experiment with different products or cannabinoids (and record your experiences on the Jointly app) to find out which combination works best for you.

    RELATED: Is Marijuana A Depressant?

    sleep
    Photo by Weiquan Lin/Getty Images

    Reduced Stress  

    A cannabis-infused bath is a great way to combat daily stress. Your body will soak in the cannabinoids while your mind unwinds. As we discussed in cannabis ingestion methods, topical THC products won’t get you high. However, topical cannabinoids may help you relieve mild aches and pains, not to mention help you relax at the end of a stressful day.

    Boost Creativity

    In small amounts, cannabis can enhance your creativity due to its ability to alter blood flow to the brain. Specifically, cannabis consumption is associated with increased blood flow to the frontal lobes of the brain. The frontal lobes are thought to be the center for creativity and divergent thinking.

    8. Improved Work Efficiency

    With all the busyness of daily life, an efficient work stream may be one of your top priorities. While you may not associate cannabis with improved work efficiency, many people use cannabis for energy. Additionally, CBD products can help you smash your goals, keeping you energized and focused until everything is complete.

    RELATED: Forgo The Wake And Bake — And 4 Other Cannabis Productivity Hacks

    weed laptop
    Photo by José Antonio Luque Olmedo/Getty Images

    Enhanced Meditation Sessions

    Meditating is a great way to clear our mind so we can be more present in our daily lives and with our loved ones. Meditation is also linked with other positive benefits like promoting concentration and elevating mood. Try meditating while high to supercharge your meditation sessions.

    Sarah Johns

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  • Our Favorite Products To Help Calm A Racing Mind Before Bed*

    Our Favorite Products To Help Calm A Racing Mind Before Bed*

    Sometimes you simply can’t fall asleep—no matter how cozy your bed might be. Catching top-notch ZZZs requires you to be both physically and mentally relaxed, a combination best achieved by taking mindbodygreen’s sleep support+ before a session with the HigherDose PEMF mat.

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  • How To Create A Reverse Bucket List, From A Social Scientist

    How To Create A Reverse Bucket List, From A Social Scientist

    Write that desire down—then cross it out. “You might get it or you might not,” Brooks adds. “The point is that you do not want your limbic system to be governing your ambitions.” See, pleasure comes from the limbic system in your brain. It works fast, as it’s where you experience dopamine surges, though it doesn’t lead to long-lasting enjoyment. Your prefrontal cortex, however, operates much slower and more logically—so that’s where you want sources of pleasure to remain, says Brooks. 

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  • 5 Ways To Start The New Year Happier

    5 Ways To Start The New Year Happier

    As 2023 wraps up and we move into 2024 – hope springs high.  While the world may look a bit nutty, expectations of a fresh year with new opportunities and adventures is enticing.  Many people at the end of the year feeling a little flustered by the idea of not achieving all the stuff they had set to in the past 12 months.  It is natural, because rarely do people look at the whole picture. For some, just making it to another year is an achievement. Here are 5 ways to start the New Year happier.

    RELATED: 5 Things Sleep Experts Would Never Allow In Their Beds

    These simple steps involve more adjustments than changes, as you see success and more joy, you can make larger changes.  The biggest adjustment is seeking to bring more happiness and joy into your life and recognizing it is within your power. We may not be able to control the person who annoys us, but we change how we react and how we respond.  We may think we don’t have time for the gym, but we can walk around the block. Think about the goal of you mentally (and physically) feeling better and move toward things which meld into your world.

    Photo by rawpixel.com

    Sleep

    Sleep is an investment in you, it can make a huge difference in your day to day mental and physical health. Studies show sleep can have a huge impact on attitude and outlook.

    An often under recognized fact is that healthy sleep habits are not intuitive, and attitudes about sleep vary widely. Inconsistent sleep schedules, sacrificing sleep, poorly timed naps, and use of electronics before sleep are all common habits among individuals of all ages, including those with and without sleep disorders. Figure out what works best for you find away to get a generous amount.

    Water

    Roughly 75% don’t drink enough water, which doesn’t sound like it would matter much – but it can be critical on your outlook. Dehydration negatively affects mental health. Drinking enough water help your brain function, mental well-being and make you feel better. The adequate daily water intake is around 11.5 cups for women and 15.5 for men.

    Recognize small steps

    Many people believe they can not celebrate until the ultimate goal is fully achieved.  This can lead to frustration and the feeling of an unfilled grind. But studies show  one of the ways to fuel the big changes is to notice and celebrate the small victories we’re making along the way. It also gives a reflection point to refocus and potential slightly adjust the end goal. This leads to greater satisfaction.

    RELATED: How To Give Yourself A Year End Review

    Move around

    Exercise is always on the top of resolutions. People set ambitious goals often causing a significant change in routine, which leads them to abandon the goal. Plans to exercise more in the new year are often broken within a month. Perhaps reframe it and make of a goal of moving more, take the stairs, go on walks, just move about. People who do so regularly  simply find it makes them feel good. Exercise can boost your mood, concentration and alertness. It can even help give you a positive outlook on life.  Add more into your life which compliments rather than competes.

    Have gratitude

    As the song goes “you don’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need”.  If you invest too much in a perceived notion, you risk not being happy working to the goal and sometimes the goal itself. Gratitude involves showing appreciation for the things in life that are meaningful or valuable to you. Taking a moment to notice and acknowledge the things you’re grateful for each day and it can brighten your outlook, boost your mood, and help you feel more positive in the face of challenges. Whether it is the people around you, a delicious meal or just the view from your home, take time to realize it is something positive in your life  and you were just lucky enough to enjoy it.

    May these 5 ways to start the New Year happier and give you joy in 2024.  Happy New Year.

    JJ McKay

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  • Want To Be Happier This New Year? Study Says Do This

    Want To Be Happier This New Year? Study Says Do This

    As the study’s lead author, Cara Palmer, Ph.D., explains in a news release, “This study represents the most comprehensive synthesis of experimental sleep and emotion research to date, and provides strong evidence that periods of extended wakefulness, shortened sleep duration, and nighttime awakenings adversely influence human emotional functioning.”

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  • Taking a Break From Alcohol With A Gummy

    Taking a Break From Alcohol With A Gummy

    The holidays continue to plow through until January 2, then everyone has regrets and promises.  New Year resolutions are dutifully made and efforts are expended to lead a better, healthier life.  But what about during the final part of the season? Maybe taking a break from alcohol with a gummy can help you and your body feel better.

    RELATED: What Is California Sober

    During holiday season, people drink to celebrate, to relax and to avoid some of the stress and tensions coming from being around the family. This tends to make alcohol a staple of the holiday season. But it can be counterproductive to the feel good atmosphere. Surveys suggest in the weeks between Thanksgiving and the new year, alcohol consumption spikes. For some people, it’s as much as double what they drink during the rest of the year. With eggnog, adult ciders, spiked punch and celebratory glasses of sparkling wine, it’s not that hard for extra alcohol to creep into one’s daily life.  It starts the day before Thanksgiving with Blackout Wednesday.

    Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

    Consuming alcohol can lead to high levels of stomach acid. This can inflame the stomach lining, leading to irritation and bloating that can last a few days. In addition, Alcohol is considered a depressant and directly affects the central nervous system. Once alcohol enters the bloodstream, it circulates to the brain, where it proceeds to slow down the firing of neurons. When neuronal firings decrease at a normal rate, it can result in fatigue, and sleepiness. Alcohol can also imped sleep while gummies can help you sleep better, this can help you body revive quicker after a few days.

    RELATED: The Most Popular Marijuana Flavors

    Traditionally, when people think of consuming cannabis, they think of smoking. But the new wave of partakers since legalization leans into vapes and gummies.  In fact, almost 50% of the way people consume is via gummies.  Gummies offer benefits and control.  With control, you can manage the dosage and manage just a bit of relaxation without too much “celebration”.  Gummies also don’t have the same body effect on your stomach, which is a benefit and give your tummy time to bounce back.

    So taking a break a break from alcohol with a gummy can be good for your body and head.

    Amy Hansen

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  • Why 30-Day Resolutions Are More Realistic, From A Therapist

    Why 30-Day Resolutions Are More Realistic, From A Therapist

    Assistant Beauty & Health Editor

    Hannah Frye is the Assistant Beauty Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a B.S. in journalism and a minor in women’s, gender, and queer studies from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. Hannah has written across lifestyle sections including health, wellness, sustainability, personal development, and more.

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  • How to React to Stressful Situations with Calmness | Entrepreneur

    How to React to Stressful Situations with Calmness | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Lyndon B. Johnson was known for his histrionics — his customary reaction to minor pain or illness was “frantic” and “hysterical,” wrote Robert Caro for the New Yorker in 2012. But when under pressure — real pressure, as he was the day he became president after John F. Kennedy was assassinated — Johnson assumed a near preternatural calm.

    As Caro writes, “Johnson’s aides and allies knew that, for all his rages and his bellowing, his gloating and his groaning, his endless monologues, his demeanor was very different in moments of crisis, in moments when there were decisions — tough decisions, crucial decisions — to be made; that in those moments he became, as his secretary Mary Rather recalled, ‘quiet and still.’”

    Certain people seem designed to perform well under moments of intense pressure. As an entrepreneur, it’s certainly a skill you’d do well to develop. Research conducted by TalentSmart found that 90% of top performers can manage their emotions in times of stress and remain calm and in control.

    Aytekin Tank

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  • I’m A Psychologist & This Is How I Take Care Of My Mental Health

    I’m A Psychologist & This Is How I Take Care Of My Mental Health

    Author:

    December 19, 2023

    Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy

    Doctor of Clinical Psychology

    By Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy

    Doctor of Clinical Psychology

    Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy, is a psychologist and executive coach who received her clinical psychology doctorate from University College London. She has been featured in Elle, Forbes, Business Insider, and elsewhere.

    Image by Lauren Lee / Stocksy

    December 19, 2023

    We carefully vet all products and services featured on mindbodygreen using our commerce guidelines. Our selections are never influenced by the commissions earned from our links.

    Clients often ask me, as a clinical psychologist, how I actually care for my mental health. Sure, I have my coaches and therapists, I take supplements and make sure to get my steps in, And yes, I’ll also tell you I don’t have all the answers.

    Sometimes my everyday life looks frivolous when you see the eating, shopping, and fun. But I’ve made peace with those needs—plus it’s never the complete picture of the growth happening behind the scenes.

    I am a psychologist and coach, and I work with leaders, Type A personalities, and organizations around the world. Mental health and growth, for me, are areas in which I walk my talk. Not only do I obsessively research, but I also practice and integrate the things I’ve learned into my life.

    I’ve come to learn that my growth is the best investment I can ever make; to not be agile and respond to life is to stack the odds against myself.

    Exactly half my life ago—18.5 years to be exact—I walked into my first psychology class. And as the very strange, healing year that 2023 has been for me comes to a close, I’d love to share how I approach my mental health and growth with you.

    Think of mental health in terms of compound interest to understand its gravity

    Mental well-being feels like a “must be nice” luxury or only relevant when things are so bad that a diagnosis has been slapped on you, but I think of it in terms of something everyone understands: money. 

    • If you borrowed $100 from a loan shark at an interest rate of 15%, and that’s compounded biweekly, that number turns to $3,768 in a year. See this as how your bad habits compound and work against you.
    • And if you invested $100 per month for 30 years at an annual interest rate of 4%, it feels slow and tiring because you have to keep putting in the work. But the basic sum of $36,000 you invested becomes $67,626.27. See this as your good habits. 

    When it comes to your good health, think about it in two stages: First, healing what’s been or become dysfunctional. Then, optimizing the system to grow with you. Both can happen at the same time throughout different parts of your life.

    Mental health isn’t a mantra or a mindset you implant

    In fact, when you lie to yourself by doggedly repeating such affirmations—especially when you’re not feeling it—that emotional suppression will often erupt against you. Try this instead:

    1.

    Take care of your body

    Something I’ve learned the hard way is that willpower can only get you so far. Trauma is stored physically, and so it must be released physically, especially by regulating your brain, inhabiting your body by grounding yourself physically, and activating your vagus nerve.

    But think of the times when you have a headache or your metaphorical battery doesn’t have enough juice; sometimes it takes effort just to walk. And more importantly, people are living longer, so keeping our physical bodies healthy is even more crucial.

    Some things you can consider are:

    • On a scale of 1 to 100, what are my battery levels like right now? What adjustments do I need to make to my day?
    • What are the things in my life that require energy no matter how much I might enjoy them? (These might be seasonal, i.e., holidays need to be planned and require financial and emotional investment, or facts of your life like ill health or constant flying.)
    • Am I taking good care of my hormones? For women, honoring your hormonal cycle and taking care of yourself toward and during menopause is key. It transforms your energy and headspace. For men, andropause and declining testosterone, plus increasing estrogen levels, are things to look out for because they can affect your heart, brain, energy, and bones. 
    • Do I know which state my nervous system is functioning in? Here, I like to think of the polyvagal ladder. Are you functioning in dorsal vagus mode (immobilization, even if you look like you’re functioning but aren’t getting anything done), parasympathetic mode (fight or flight, taking action), or ventral vagus mode (connected with yourself and the world, feeling safe). 

    2.

    Take care of your relationships

    It’s old news that we are the average of the five people we surround ourselves with. And not only that, but both toxic and ambivalent relationships are hazardous for your health. On that count, I often ask myself:

    • Do I like who I give my energy to?
    • Do I like who I am and who I am becoming with these people? 
    • Which relationships do I need to nurture more? How do I go about that? 
    • Which do I need to let go of, and what would it take for me to do that?
    • Where do I need stronger boundaries? How do I go about that? 
    • What sort of people do I need (more) in my life? How do I go about that? 

    Along with this “People Audit,” I like to clean out my contacts book twice a year. In relationships, pick your battles too. There are things you do not need to explain to others or engage in pointless debates about—save your energy, especially with those who are being deliberately inflammatory. 

    3.

    Take care of your finances

    You have no mental health without financial health. I like what Ramit Sethi teaches about finances: It’s not how much you earn, it’s how much you save and grow that determines if you are stuck on a treadmill that you cannot exit or if you enjoy relative freedom. 

    Your spending habits will change as you enter different phases of life, so keep reviewing. Choose the parts of your life you want to spend on and cut ruthlessly on the things you don’t care about, even if others feel very differently.

    Automate your investments on those things that grow in the long run; don’t waste mental energy.

    No matter where you are physically, financially, or relationally, remember it’s all about growing these muscles. For instance, taking care of the vagus nerve in trauma healing can involve singing, doing tai chi, or having a deep tissue massage. These are things I don’t provide for my clients but rather invite them to choose based on what works best for them. 

    And most importantly, when it comes to your mental health, it’s not all in your head, of course—but your head is what saves you through the decisions you choose to make. 

    What you do has to fit your lifestyle, personality, and values

    You are complex and don’t need to fit into some model or standard. Life will change along the way, and so you’ll have to collaborate with reality in adjusting your tactics or rewriting your strategy. Part of the secret, really, is data mining. Because you are the expert on you.

    1.

    Consider your personality

    Having ADHD means I love to body double at Barry’s HIIT classes or write in a café, energized by others’ around me—but my introverted side means I can only run solo and reflect in quiet rooms.

    Experiment, look deep into your personal history, and do things that make life easier for you, regardless of what everyone else is doing or expects from you.

    2.

    Your wiring is not an excuse for disrespectful behavior

    I love the meme “Your introversion isn’t an excuse to be an asshole” because this isn’t just about my way or the highway.

    If a certain way of functioning works better with you, you can request it and then look for a happy compromise. For instance, I may ask someone for the freedom to handle my own time when it comes to a project and break it down into a few milestones because I like autonomy. But that comes with the understanding that I always deliver. 

    3.

    Do you like seeking help virtually or in real life?

    I have mentors, coaches, and therapists virtually because that’s the only way I can access that specific person. I also love how I can simply switch on my laptop and take it from there instead of having a long commute.

    As someone who works with clients across six continents, I can attest that you tap into plenty of body language simply by video, and the results speak for themselves.

    Likewise, there are those who prefer being in the same room or do not need specialist support. 

    4.

    When do you share the private details of your current struggles, and with whom?

    Some people like sharing what’s going on while they’re in the thick of it; others only feel comfortable once it’s been resolved.

    Personally, I like to go through my struggle phases in private, hiring professionals, and I might share with my loved ones that I am currently working through something, and do not want any solutions or to talk about that, so they can understand my head space may be a little occupied.

    Whatever works best for you; there is no guilt or shame. Being aware simply helps you keep energy by not second-guessing yourself. 

    5.

    Just because you’re wired a certain way doesn’t mean you can’t catch up

    My fellow neurodivergents often feel like daily living is rigged against them. Autistic people often feel they’re terrible at social relationships, for example, while ADHDers might have messier finances or home cleanliness.

    Whatever it is, it’s never too late. The secret is to use what you’re great at as your unfair advantage, to catch up on the things you lag behind in.

    For instance, I used hyper-focus and an obsession with creating and tweaking systems in order to transform myself from a once socially awkward person to someone with a pretty amazing network and close friends who fly 6,000 miles regularly to eat with me. 

    6.

    Be more you

    “I saw the angel in the marble, I just had to release him.” This Michelangelo quote has always given me goose bumps. It got me thinking that, too often, we do things that turn us into other people—things that simply aren’t a good fit.

    We cover ourselves with all these well-being items that end up clogging our heads and time and disconnect us from ourselves. Obviously, the basics of eating, hydrating, moving, breathing, relating, and sleeping relatively healthily and sufficiently are universal, but the form they take varies for us all.

    As such, I always invite my clients to think about the things that have always made them tick. For instance, Type A personalities may relax by running, whereas a Type B might prefer to tend to their plants. 

    7.

    It doesn’t matter if your motivation isn’t noble or socially acceptable

    I’ll be honest, I wanted to get fit to wear cropped tops. In my head, my future self’s health wasn’t urgent enough for me to take action. But that motivation got me going, and I admitted it because I’m tired of all the lies we tell ourselves.

    If you decide to heal from the trauma of abuse so you can remember your old potential, partly because you want to prove your ex wrong, I’m cool if that is your biggest reason.

    You will have a cocktail of motivations, and as long as one gets you going, that’s what we will work with. Your main reason will change along the way. Now my main motivation is quality health. Just like my ex-abused clients now want to inspire others and be their champions. 

    Identify your latest limiting factor

    In every chapter comes a new struggle. Sometimes the struggle feels stupid because you aren’t objectively suffering, but it’s existential, you have no reference points, or you feel it’s a vapid, First World problem. This is likelier the more you’ve grown as a person and built up your inner and external resources.

    So let’s first come to terms with this: Your struggle is valid.

    Next up, with every struggle comes a new factor that’s limiting you. As a young person, your limiting factors are likely to be experience, skills, or money. You sacrifice your sleep and health to build them up, also because your body is still robust, and as you build them up, they start compounding benefits.

    Then, your new struggle might become emotional intelligence, a great network, or time. Following which, it might morph into mindset, health, or old demons that you’ve always tolerated “just fine.”

    Identify these struggles, because to grow into the next version of you, you will have to make this limiting factor work for you.

    You don’t need your routines and rituals to be perfect

    Here’s my confession: I sleep very late every day. Part of how I understand this is that with ADHD, when I am awake, the world is so amazing that I don’t want to sleep, and when I am asleep, that world is so amazing, I don’t want to wake.

    And while I get all the science for sleeping earlier—including what my facial gal always tells me about even better skin—I don’t want to pressure myself too much on getting everything right. Plus, I sleep an average of nine hours anyway, so for now, I am at peace with this. 

    Similarly, there will be aspects of your routine you may not get “perfect.” While you will benefit from getting better, as long as 75% of your foundational life is in order, you don’t need to scare yourself. 

    This is the same way I think about people who are afraid of rice, pasta, or cake—which contributes to a mental health struggle called orthorexia. If you eat generally thoughtfully most of the time, white carbs are all right. Plus, there are seasons for cakes, like birthdays and the holidays. So if you actually like cakes and burgers, you don’t need to cut them out from your life forever.

    I also do my best not to eat, sleep, or “indulge” from a place of escaping my emotions. My favorite rule I learned from fitness personality Dan Go is “Don’t make one bad day, two.”

    In other words, you may fall off your good habits for a day because you wanted to comfort (or punish) yourself. And what most people end up doing is punishing themselves for that by spiraling further. 

    Here’s the deal: You’re human. Keep one bad day at one bad day. Tomorrow is a brand-new day.

    Don’t shoot the path that got you here

    A big issue I see with Type A personalities is lamenting about how they were brought up as ever-achieving perfectionists. A part of this has to do with increasing levels of mental health awareness in the zeitgeist, as well as op-eds on how people should learn emotional intelligence instead.

    It got me thinking about my younger self. People were gagging to teach me how to socialize and develop some emotional intelligence, and for some reason, I saw no need to, nor had any desire to. Plus, if I hadn’t developed my academic and commercial sides, where would I be today?

    For my clients, this makes them question their entire timeline, as if what they’ve accomplished becomes moot because all they did was go to medical school or law school. 

    And so, I have a strong belief in not shooting the path that got you here. Rather, wherever you are in your life today, there will be gaps and vulnerabilities, like how emotional intelligence was mine in my 20s. When you realize you want to work on them, of your own accord, you will strengthen and grow these skills. 

    Similarly, don’t shoot your successes by downplaying them. I am guilty of thinking things like, “It’s easier for me to do XYZ or accomplish ABC because I don’t have the pressures of child care,” or, ” I had a great education because my parents gave me the funds.”

    For everything that comes easily to me, or every success that I have, I automatically compare my path to someone who’s had it harder. And my perfectionist head will inevitably pick someone with maximum struggles, from their financial resources to their cognitive wiring to being a refugee.

    And then I stop myself. For every privilege and freedom I’ve had today, I have also paid the price of forgoing something else in my past, present, or future. And I’ve also struggled and worked hard enough, and I have nothing to prove by suffering more.

    Part of the issue comes from what naysayers say, so I do my best to silence those narratives by distancing myself and reminding myself to stop suffering to satisfy people who don’t care about me. 

    Having a relatively blessed everyday life doesn’t make me removed from understanding others’ lives, especially in my job and as a human being

    Three years ago, I had a major family crisis that changed my priorities. I was on the lookout for my family emotionally and creating contingency plans. And I was blessed enough to organize my career in a way that allowed me to work fewer hours.

    And that is something I’ve also battled inside deeply for the same amount of time. 

    Watching out for someone else drains your energy, so of course I would want to devote fewer hours in order to produce quality work. And with everything I know about empathy burnout, I also filled my life with social and personal projects and goals so I would come out of this chapter stronger, having made the best of it. 

    But it is only in retrospect that I’ve deeply come to terms with these realizations instead of merely knowing them intellectually. 

    The biggest absolution I’ve gained about the way I’ve designed my everyday life has come from author Shane Parrish’s Clear Thinking. It is in how you live your ordinary moments that determines success because you have bandwidth and a clear head to make better decisions for yourself. 

    It’s often easy to wonder whether you’re living “correctly” if you’re not frazzled and doing a million things, especially in a wired culture like Singapore. The rules of how others live can make you doubt your choices, and defending your choices can be exhausting. 

    And that helps me understand that it’s those years of working very hard and making responsible choices that got me to a place where I could step back and focus on family. Throughout the last three years, I worked hard on myself too, building stronger foundations for my future and solid relationships with my tribe.

    In exchange, I’m the healthiest and fittest I’ve ever been in my entire life, and these habits have become automatically ingrained. I should not shoot down this success and imagine I should be in shambles today in order for those three years to have been “valid.” 

    And as I emerge from that chapter, I hold my head up high knowing I lived it responsibly.

    Now, I understand that I’ve just graduated from another level in the School of Life: knowing that the valleys are temporary and, more importantly, the plateaus don’t last forever. 

    It is with that, that I consciously make my ordinary moments and everyday life work for me and with me. 

    It’s what you do in your day-to-day life—between your check-ins with your coaches, healers, and therapists—that matters most

    You can go to a retreat on a deserted island, and you will likely lose weight, feel more at peace, and feel happier if you’ve been fed on fresh fruit and hearty soups and have been breathing deeply with others.

    But what happens when you go back into your real life and your phone pings every two seconds between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m., and the easiest thing to eat is takeout, while you hate your boss, partner, or friends?

    Sure, you can go on another retreat next year, but in the meantime, yo-yoing between the reprieve and the chaos is what gets people feeling more helpless and hopeless every time the cycle repeats itself. That is what I call, the “And Then What? Problem.”

    Real life is the stress test, the active training ground for how you live and grow. The real issue with your phone might lie in the fact that you allow every type of notification and don’t mute it for certain hours of the day. The real issue with burnout might lie in poor boundaries and not knowing how to take care of your body in a way that is optimum for you. 

    And so there might be habits to delete from your life, like that automatic taxi, and fitting in a walk. Or being more thoughtful about the food you order, popping a few supplements for brain health, or consciously deep breathing several times a day. 

    The sum total of these ordinary and boring decisions and how you keep showing up (imperfectly) is really what matters.

    That retreat or session with the professional you hired can only do so much. Or to quote the wisdom from my facialist, she can only clean your face that well—the magic happens if you take care of your skin every day, and then her monthly treatments turbocharge everything. 

    The takeaway

    The thing about mental health and growth is that it’s really meant to be lived. A session with your professionals, a book, or a retreat can inspire you, give you epiphanies, and cartograph a map. But what you do over and over again becomes your habits, and those habits become your character.

    You will grow. Life and the world will change. Part of this is learning how to pivot and collaborate with reality, to tweak your systems so they grow with you. And so much of this, to me, boils down to winning the inner game.

    I remember what a trusted confidant taught me as I was finding myself entrenched in a strange place while looking out for my family: “Don’t fight in the North or the South. Fight every battle everywhere, always, in your mind. Everyone is your enemy, everyone is your friend. Every possible series of events is happening all at once. Live that way and nothing will surprise you. Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before.” —Lord Petyr Baelish, Game of Thrones.

    That reminded me of the person I’d always been and the person I wanted to be again. So the thing about your mental health and growth is it really isn’t a luxury—it’s the best investment you can ever make.

    At times, you may feel disheartened that there aren’t immediate, huge returns on your salary or assets. But remember, that network you built in your 20s may only start fruiting in your 30s and 40s. Same concept here. And ultimately, winning the mental game is really about playing the long game.

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  • The 2 Mindset Shifts That Have Transformed My Mental Health

    The 2 Mindset Shifts That Have Transformed My Mental Health

    There are so, so many components that go into our mental health, how we feel on a day-to-day basis, and our relationship to ourselves in general. There’s also no shortage of mental health advice out there—from how to eat, work out, meditate, and more—making it difficult to know what will actually work for you.

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  • The Fastest Way To De-Stress, From A Nervous System Researcher

    The Fastest Way To De-Stress, From A Nervous System Researcher

    Here’s why trendy relaxation “hacks” just don’t work.

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  • Is Christmas Music Bad For Your Mental Health

    Is Christmas Music Bad For Your Mental Health

    It seems immediately after Halloween, holiday music premiers in every store, lobby and across music platforms. Some people grumble and complain it starts too early, other hum along and have a smile.  But is Christmas music bad for your mental health? While nearly half of U.S. adults (49%) would describe their stress levels during the traditional holiday season between November and January as “moderate,” around two in five (41%) said their stress increases during this time compared with other points in the year.

    RELATED: Easy Holiday Whiskey Cocktails

    Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey likely have no intention of causing you harm, but repetitive holiday music can actually have a psychological effect on your body. For many, there is a time when holiday songs inspire happiness and spark nostalgia, but there is a point with some when it just becomes too much.

    Photo by Kira auf der Heide via Unsplash

    With the onslaught, the brain becomes oversaturated, triggering a negative response.  If you’re already worried about money, work, or seeing family during the holidays, the constant inundation of cheerful tuns may reinforce stress. Multiple studies have shown people feel like they have less time, more responsibilities, and higher expectations during the season, all contributing to holiday stress.

    RELATED: The Most Popular Marijuana Flavors

    Clinical psychologist Linda Blair shared Christmas music can be mentally draining.  People working in the shops [have to tune out] Christmas music, because if they don’t, it really does stop you from being able to focus on anything else. You’re simply spending all of your energy trying not to hear what you’re hearing.

    So, how do you win the war on Christmas music? Try to vary your playlist, because sticking to only holiday tunes produces mental fatigue, making our brains foggy and unable to think. .

    Amy Hansen

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  • Nearly 80% Of Autoimmune Diseases Affect Women—But Why?

    Nearly 80% Of Autoimmune Diseases Affect Women—But Why?

    There are more than 80 types of autoimmune diseases, including Type I diabetes, arthritis, multiple sclerosis (also known as MS), and Graves’ disease. All of these come with their own unique symptoms. However, “The most common autoimmune disorder symptoms are fatigue, joint swelling and pain, skin issues, abdominal pain or digestive issues, and swollen glands,” explains board-certified regenerative medicine doctor Seema Bonney, M.D.

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  • Best Ways To Detach From Work Over The Holidays

    Best Ways To Detach From Work Over The Holidays

    The holiday season can be filled with seeing friends, visiting family, celebrations, shopping or a good movie bing with Christmas Vacation. But the tug of the job can interrupt the joy and relaxation of the holiday. For some, the extra pressure of facing looming year-end deadlines during a shortened work month, combined with additional personal, financial, and family obligations, can cause holiday stress during this time of year.

    It doesn’t help the days between December 25-31 are filled with family and social  obligations, blurring together and becoming one giant mass of time which is extremely hard to get work done.

    Studies prove taking a break from work provides a significant amount of health benefits, especially if you’re filling your time with satisfying and memorable activities. Here are hte best ways to detach from work over the holidays.

    Spend time with your loved ones

    Connecting to a “larger purpose” can help you get out of your head and be more present in whatever you’re doing over the holidays. “The stressors of your work life are temporary and nobody ever looks back on their life remembering the nights they chose to finish a project over making memories with loved ones,” say representatives of Noken, a company that prepares trips for people who have a tough time leaving their work at home.

    Turn off your notifications

    RELATED: 5 Tips To Help You Get Work Done When You’re Working Remotely

    It’s hard to get some distance from work when you’re constantly checking your phone and your email. In order to make the most out of your days off, try silencing your notifications or turning them off all together. If you still need to work, set up a schedule allowing you to work efficiently and will also let you have your own free time. On most icases, emails can wait.

    Prioritize personal stuff

    During the holiday season, make your personal life your priority. This doesn’t mean you have to disregard work entirely, it just means if you’re organized you can schedule your work activities ahead of time and spend quality time with your loved ones.

    Plan ahead

    If you know you have a big project coming up then make sure to clock in some work hours where you’re focused and don’t have a lot of distractions. This will allow you to finish your work as soon as possible and freeing up the rest of your day, allowing you to do what you want with your time.

    RELATED: 5 Common Relationship Problems That Arise During The Holidays

    Photo by NAN728/Shutterstock.com

    Everything will be fine

    There’s no reason for you to be chained to your laptop or your phone over the holidays, especially if you’ve been conducting your duties normally and efficiently. If there’s an emergency, your boss will surely call you and let you know. Your work will still be there the next day, so try to have some perspective and avoid missing out on important moments with your family and friends.

    Maria Loreto

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  • Tips To Help Stop Overreacting To Everything

    Tips To Help Stop Overreacting To Everything

    Everyone overreacts at times. You get caught up in an immediate, instinctual emotional response, and do or say things which we later regret.   Every person is different, but if your freak outs are frequent, it might be time to do something about it. While it’s always a good idea to talk to an expert, there’s no need to feel crazy or unhealthy. Feeling and honoring your emotions is a good thing, just as long as you’re not impaired by them and you’re not hurting other people.

    What matters most in freak outs and overreactions is understanding the catalyst; it’s perfectly reasonable to freak out if you unexpectedly get fired from your job and don’t have enough money to pay rent. Now, screaming and crying because of a jammed door? That’s overreacting.

    RELATED: The Good News: Check Out These 5 Health Benefits Of Stress

    Here are five things you can do to avoid overreactions and manage your emotions during stressful times.

    Understand what bugs you

    We all have triggers, even if we don’t know what they are. Try to think about what bugs you, and moments when people have really annoyed you. Keep these mind, write them down, and try to think about your feelings in the particular moment. Were you hungry, sleepy or had had a stressful day? All of this contributes to overreactions. The next time one of your trigger pops up, you might still feel peeved, but you’ll be better equipped to deal with it in a healthier way.

    Implement a 10 second rule

    If you can, try to step away from the situation and take a breather. Count to 10 and think before you act. “By allowing yourself some time to reassess before reacting, you will increase the ability to prevent yourself from overreacting and doing something you’ll regret,” psychologist L.A. Barlow tells Bustle.

    RELATED: Science Tells Us Why Being Stressed Out Make Us Sick

    Photo via rawpixel.com

    Deep breaths are a cliche but they work

    Before you do anything which might make you feel stressed out or emotional, take a deep breath and be mindful of your situation. Once you’re actually facing something stressful and triggering, take another deep breath. This will slow you down and oxygenate your brain, giving you a few seconds to think of something more thoughtful and positive than to walk away or start screaming.

    Rationalize

    Try to separate yourself from the issue and look at things through a more objective lens. “Find a way to be compassionate and avoid personalizing what happened to you,” explains Psychology Today.

    Watching for the sweet, relaxing brain tingles. | Photo by
    skyNext/Shutterstock.com

    Talk it out

    A lot of the times we overreact because we’ve been bottling up feelings for a long time, using the first chance we get to open the flood gates and take down everything in our paths. To prevent this try to address issues the minute they bother you, talking about them to a loved one who can provide some perspective or feedback. If you prefer a more private route, you can also write down your feelings in a journal or a piece of paper.

    Maria Loreto

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