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Tag: Depression

  • Women Are 2x As Likely To Experience Anxiety & Depression — Here’s Why

    Women Are 2x As Likely To Experience Anxiety & Depression — Here’s Why

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    Whenever a woman experiences shifts in sex hormones—as happens in puberty, with the monthly menstrual cycle, during pregnancy, during postpartum, and before and after menopause—there are changes in neurotransmitters (which influence mood) and neurosteroids. Neurosteroids affect how neurons fire in the brain, and they’re thought to play a role in the development of major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), and postpartum depression. 

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  • Should You Blame Cannabis For Feeling Blah

    Should You Blame Cannabis For Feeling Blah

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    Some people get a case of the blues or the blahs.  But blaming anhedonia on cannabis isn’t really based in science.

    The blues, the blahs, depression, or just feeling sad happens to must people. Relationship issues, bad news, stress and a lack of social outlets emerge over and over in data as major causes of feeling blah. Almost everyone has felt “down in the dumps” at times or had a case of “the blues.” In this state, you may have referred to yourself as feeling depressed. But over 5% suffer from some form clinical depression. But should you blame cannabis for feeling blah?  Marijuana has components which, used in moderation, make you feel happy, but it has gotten a bad reputation.

    There is a myth cannabis use causes Anhedonia. It is the inability to experience joy or pleasure. You may feel numb or less interested in things that you once enjoyed. It’s a common symptom of many mental health conditions like depression. Marijuana use has been accused of trigger this ailment, but the facts are not there to back up the statement.

    RELATED: 5 Morning Activities To Help You Feel Happier

    No one is advocating those under 21 should use marijuana or alcohol, since the brain is still developing.  But marijuana has not be truly proven to cause depression, laziness, or blocking the feeling of pleasure. Research has shown THC in cannabis causes an increase in levels of dopamine, the pleasure chemical, in the brain. Used in moderation, it can have a positive effect.  And, in the right dose, can also relieve anxiety, which tends to help people approach life more positively.

    Photo by Edu Lauton via Unsplash

    Cambridge University has published a paper showing adolescent cannabis users are not more likely to “lack motivation and the ability to enjoy life’s pleasures.”  This shows  the stereotypical cannabis user as often portrayed by the media is not grounded in science. The study was carried out by researchers from UCL, Kings College of London Institute of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, and the University of Cambridge. The results were published in the International Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology. From the research, regular cannabis users had slightly lower scores for anhedonia.

    RELATED: Science Says Medical Marijuana Improves Quality Of Life

    Another study, published in The International Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology, showed a null relationship between anhedonia and regular cannabis use. The researchers used data from an earlier study that had investigated cannabis use in teens, called the “CannTeen study.”

    Researchers examined 274 participants including adults (26-29 years) and adolescents (16-17 years). The participants were regular cannabis users who had used cannabis in the last three months, with an average use of four times per week. The Snaith Hamilton Pleasure Scale was used to measure anhedonia while the Apathy Evaluation Scale was used to measure apathy.

    The results showed that the control group (those who didn’t use cannabis or didn’t use it regularly) had higher levels of anhedonia. This was quite surprising and contrary to the widely held belief that regular cannabis use diminishes one’s enthusiasm for life.

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    Amy Hansen

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  • “A Love Letter to My Son’s Special Interests”

    “A Love Letter to My Son’s Special Interests”

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    It was the first time the card table was used for its stated purpose.

    In our excitement playing cards, we got too noisy and woke up the toddler. There was laughter and arguing. There was winning and losing.

    I’d like to say my son, Ocean, was a gracious winner. I’d also like to say that I’m never a sore loser. Regardless, I was elated that we were playing – win or lose. I never thought my kid would land on card games as a special interest. And I know it won’t last, so I’m savoring these precious moments with extra gratitude.

    Special Interests: My Son’s Rotating Fascinations

    Ocean has autism and ADHD. Rather than sticking to one deep and abiding interest or bouncing around several interests at once (like me), he cycles through a different obsession every few months. There are some that repeat, like soccer, BEYBLADES, and various video games. I’m always happy when Pokémon comes up in the rotation.

    My husband and I have always joined him in his interests, even when (as a baby) he just wanted to stare at the spinning ceiling fan. I’ll admit I didn’t enjoy spinning wheels on baby strollers when that was his fixation, and his interest in other peoples’ soccer balls didn’t make us popular at the playground. (On the other hand, soccer balls do have really cool designs, especially the Jabulani and Brazuca. Do you know how hard it is to find an original Jabulani? Can you guess how many hours I spent bidding on eBay?) While I didn’t love subway trips to a busy intersection to watch the pedestrian traffic light count down, he’s now traveling alone on public transportation – something I never imagined then.

    When my son finds a new special interest, it feels a bit like opening a Christmas gift. I have no idea what it will be, but I know it will surprise me… and that it will get old eventually.

    [Read: Autism vs. ADHD — A Parent’s Guide to Tricky Diagnoses]

    I’ve observed the pattern. He learns all the planets and moves on to galaxies. He maps the states, then the world… But his fixation doesn’t hold; eventually, he gets restless. He spends a few weeks absentmindedly dabbling until something grabs his attention again. I have no influence on his infatuations, or how long he will stay interested in each one. I’ve tried. It backfires. I don’t think he has much say in what grabs him either.

    The one time I successfully held the line was when hot peppers became his interest. When his own pediatrician told us that eating too many of them raw could cause internal damage, my own gut wrenched and I felt like the worst parent ever. Nope. No more. I told him, “You can talk about Scoville heat units, you can draw and categorize and research peppers to your heart’s delight, but no more raw spicy pepper eating challenges under my roof!” I value autonomy, but I value his health more. It wasn’t easy, but we moved on, with his stomach lining intact.

    Was Celebrating My Son’s Special Interests Wrong?

    Ocean was first flagged for early intervention at 13 months. He wasn’t crawling on all fours or showing any signs of walking.

    It would be a while before I put all the pieces together: developmental delays, social differences, special interests, sensory avoidance, and difficulty regulating emotions. Still, we hadn’t considered autism. I even brushed off an evaluator who casually mentioned “red flags for autism” when Ocean lined up a set of toy cars instead of playing with them as expected.

    [Read: Is My Child with ADHD on the Autism Spectrum?]

    Then he went to preschool, where was expected to do things that were not his absolute favorite. The stimulation was a lot for him. He was having multiple meltdowns a day and struggled mightily with transitions. Even with the support of a 1-to-1 special education teacher, he barely endured the year.

    At a new special-education school, his teacher asked for reward ideas that could motivate him. When I told her how much he liked letters and numbers, she was dismissive. “But that’s just stimming,” she said. I was speechless.

    My confidence eroded. I started to think that all our celebrating of Ocean’s fascinations had been wrong. I wondered if I should have steered him away from the things that gave him comfort and joy. But I couldn’t. I loved to see the spark in him when he engaged with his true loves.

    That year was damaging for both of us, and with perspective I am glad to have learned this lesson: Just because someone has a degree, doesn’t mean they are an expert – and they certainly aren’t an expert in your child.

    Celebrating My Son’s Special Interests – and Strengths

    We moved on to a more enlightened and neurodiversity-affirming elementary school, and my education in celebrating neurodiversity began. Those teachers and therapists brought Ocean’s interests into everything. They encouraged his strengths and nudged him along in his challenges. They partnered with us parents, and it felt like almost every professional truly cared about my son. He thrived.

    Still, being neurodivergent in an ableist world is hard, and we leaned on supports as we overcame one struggle after another.

    He’s moving on to high school next year, and I want to share a reflection with parents of younger neurodivergent kids: The problems fade with time, especially when you focus on encouraging their strengths. The glimmers of joy are what I recall, like snapshots.

    When Ocean wasn’t meeting developmental milestones and was having multiple meltdowns a day, I never could have imagined this scene: my siblings, nieces, parents, all playing a card game that Ocean had organized and taught them, and all having a blast!

    I can’t think of anyone with whom I’d rather stare at the fan, draw soccer balls, line up numbers, or play cards.

    Special Interests, Autism, and ADHD: Next Steps


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    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Emotions Are Weakness: 5 Maladaptive Beliefs That Lead to Emotional Dysfunction

    Emotions Are Weakness: 5 Maladaptive Beliefs That Lead to Emotional Dysfunction

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    Do you see your emotions as a source of strength or weakness? New research shows how maladaptive beliefs about feelings can lead to destructive patterns and poor self-regulation. Learn how to better navigate your emotional world by cultivating the right approach and mindset toward every feeling.


    Two people can experience the same exact emotion in radically different ways depending on their mindset and perspective.

    Ultimately, the beliefs you have about emotions are going to influence how you respond to them. This includes both helpful and unhelpful strategies you use to self-regulate your mood and feelings on a daily basis, which is one of the main pillars of emotional intelligence.

    Psychology research has looked into what types of beliefs about emotions are associated with maladaptive strategies. One new study published in Current Psychology identified two types of beliefs that can lead to emotional distress and the development of mood disorders: “emotional undesirability” (the belief that emotions should be avoided) and “emotional uncontrollability” (the belief that there’s nothing you can do to change your emotions).

    Both of these maladaptive beliefs lead to a passive approach to mental health. They amount to the idea, “All emotions should be avoided – and if they do happen there’s nothing I can do about it.” Naturally a person who holds these beliefs isn’t going to make much of an effort to listen to their emotions more closely or channel them in a more constructive way.

    For example, if a person is overwhelmed with anger and they hold these beliefs, they will always rely on their “default response” however destructive it may be: yelling at someone, drinking alcohol, punching a wall, or storming out of the room. The person doesn’t believe they have a choice in how they respond to their anger, they only blame others for their feelings, so there are limited options whenever anger arises. They say to themselves, “When I’m angry, I act like this! And that’s that!”

    When you remove any choice or responsibility for your mood and feelings (and how you act on them), you automatically limit your power. You end up becoming a slave to your emotions, rather than a master of them. That’s why these maladaptive beliefs can lead to serious emotional dysfunction and disorder over time, especially if we don’t learn the proper tools and skills for managing our emotions more effectively.

    Now let’s learn more about specific destructive beliefs about emotions and how they can hurt our mental health and well-being. Do you believe any of them (or used to in the past)?

    5 Destructive and Maladaptive Beliefs About Emotions

    People hold many misconceptions about their emotions, but these are the most popular myths:

    • Emotions Are Weakness – One of the most common beliefs about emotions is that they are a weakness that should be avoided. Whether it’s love, sadness, or fear, we are told to keep our emotions to ourselves, and any expression of them makes us imperfect and vulnerable. This is a myth especially common among men who strive to be as stoic as possible. Instead of listening to emotions and seeing them as a source of strength and knowledge, we bottle them up and are told to just “think with your head” and “be rational.” While emotions can be misleading and we should question our feelings instead of following them blindly or impulsively, the truth is emotions can contain a lot of power and wisdom when we can listen and respond to them in the right way.
    • Emotions Should Always Be Positive – Another popular myth about emotions is that we should always “feel good” and never “feel bad.” However, even the most emotionally intelligent person is going to experience their fair share of positive and negative emotions, because it’s an inseparable part of human existence. Negative emotions are not only inevitable, they provide a necessary function that helps us navigate our world and live better lives. All emotions – including sadness, fear, anger, anxiety, and grief – serve a purpose and guide us. Without the experience of pain we would put ourselves in danger, such as keeping our hands in a fire until it is burnt. In the same way, negative emotions are uncomfortable but necessary signals we need to survive.
    • Emotions Are Fixed and Permanent – Emotions come and go naturally, but in the moment they can feel solid and permanent. If you watch your emotions closely, you’ll notice they are always changing in various dimensions (time, intensity, frequency, shape), and if you wait long enough one emotion usually takes the place of another. This is the lesson of impermanence – it’s best encapsulated by the mantra this too shall pass, and it describes how every experience (sensations, thoughts, feelings, memories, imaginations) will eventually dissipate over time. Once you learn this, you realize that you don’t always have to act on every emotion to move past it, sometimes you can just sit and wait. There’s a mindful gap between every “feeling” and “action,” and we can experience an emotion fully without needing to directly respond to it.
    • Emotions Are Uncontrollable – In the heat of the moment, emotions can seem uncontrollable. Once an emotion becomes too intense, it can often hijack our brains and cause us to act in ways we later regret. One key aspect of self-regulation is creating a plan for negative emotions before they happen. First identify one emotion you’re stuck in a negative pattern with. Then when you are in a calm and peaceful state of mind, write and brainstorm new ways to respond to that negative emotion in that situation. Put it in the form of an “if, then” statement: “If I feel angry, then I will take ten deep breaths” or “If I feel sad, then I will write for 10 minutes in my journal.” You can change your natural response to intense negative emotions, but like all habits it takes time, practice, and patience.
    • Emotions Are Irrational – The last common error people make is believing that emotions are the opposite of thinking and that the two are completely separate. We falsely believe we need to choose between “thinking” and “emotions” in a given situation when often they are interconnected and work in tandem. Beliefs ↔ emotions is a two-way street. Thoughts can influence our emotions (such as an idea in your head that makes you feel good/bad), and emotions can influence our thoughts (such as a bad mood making you more pessimistic or cynical). Emotions are just another way of processing information from our environment. In fact our intuition and gut feelings are often described as super fast pattern recognition that happens below the surface of consciousness. In some situations, gut feelings can be a more intelligent guide for making decisions than our conscious logic and reasoning.

    What’s your perspective on your emotions? How have your beliefs about emotions changed over time?

    Personally, I once viewed emotions as mere background noise, something to be ignored or suppressed in pursuit of pure rationality and self-control. My journey into psychology and self-improvement changed my perspective. I began to discover that “emotions are powerful,” “emotions are a resource,” and “emotions are worth paying attention to.”

    This paradigm shift was foundational in shaping my approach to life and one of my core motivations for starting this website.


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    Steven Handel

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  • “How Hardcore Feminist Punk Rock Unlocked My AuDHD Brain”

    “How Hardcore Feminist Punk Rock Unlocked My AuDHD Brain”

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    I have always had a strong connection and pull to music, gaining inspiration from trailblazing female artists like Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell. But my relationship with music reached another level when I – during a moral burnout episode – stumbled upon a different kind of sound that changed my understanding of my AuDHD brain.

    In my field of work, I see injustices often. My hyper-empathy and strong sense of justice drew me to this field, an area that gave me just the right amount of dopamine to help me manage well enough for many years – until things became really difficult and the stress and sadness mounted. I knew that my neurodivergent brain was making everything feel much more intense, but I wasn’t sure how to pull it all back.

    One afternoon at home, burnt out, I knew I absolutely needed to clean my home despite a distinct lack of energy. I thought music would help, but this time, rather than put on Stevie Nicks, I selected a playlist at random and tried to power on. After a short time, I found myself dancing to the post punk rhythms of Siouxsie and the Banshees. My energy levels were up, and I suddenly gained the ability to do all the mundane demands I hadn’t been able to tackle for weeks.

    Stumbling Into Punk Rock: A New Special Interest

    I fell down a rabbit hole searching for more music that I thought might have the same effect. Cue my discovery of Riot Grrrl, grunge bands created by women, and feminist hardcore punk. In an instant, my world (and ears) became full of early ’90s bands like Babes in Toyland and Bikini Kill to more recent groups like War on Women, Lambrini Girls, and others with names too explicit to share.

    Bands made up of women who fight for their voices to be heard, stay true to themselves, and don’t seem to care if they’re disliked? I had entered in to special-interest territory. I became absorbed in learning about the music, the women, and the culture they were promoting. At a time when I felt isolated and insecure and like I was losing a big part of my identity through my troubles at work, this music brought me joy and validation. It filled me with energy that I hadn’t felt for a long time and listening to it became the best and most important part of my day.

    [Read: 13 Productivity Playlists to Center and Focus ADHD Brains]

    Aside from the physical release of endless dancing, I found that the louder the music and vocals, the happier and calmer I felt. Any stress I was feeling reduced, and overwhelming thoughts about my inability to do something turned into figuring out how I could.

    I decided to experiment with listening to something much louder. Inspired by the death and thrash metal gigs I attended in my early 20s, I found myself – now more than 10 years later – on my way, alone, to see a few hardcore punk bands at a DIY venue 50 miles away. I’d never been to a gig by myself, let alone one like this, and it gave me a buzz that ADHD just loves to pull me toward.

    The evening of the gig, as I stood in the middle of the crowd and listened to the thrashing music, I experienced something I’d never experienced before: a quiet mind with no thoughts in my head. Peace. My mind was blown. Literally.

    The Soothing Sounds of Hardcore Punk

    I spent the next few months tracking the effects of this music on my feelings and behaviors and was amazed by the results. I found that I didn’t need as much sleep and was able to be active late into the night. I wasn’t as drawn to sugar and carbs. Overstimulation after a long day in the office was easier to tolerate, and moments of excruciating under-stimulation were few and far between. My ability to tolerate perceived rejection and criticism grew significantly. This music, it was clear, was making everything so enjoyable.

    [Read: Music Therapy – Sound Medicine for ADHD]

    This was not a life I was used to. It was something I had only experienced in short bursts. But here was punk music, my new special interest, giving me all the dopamine I needed to thrive. It was helping me behave in ways that were right for me, rather than being influenced by my barriers and my fears.

    How do I use my special interest now to get the results I need? When I need a quick surge of chemicals to get me moving after waking up, Babes in Toyland’s Bluebell works every time. When I need to sleep, I’ll blast my thoughts away with Petrol Girls. When I’m feeling anxious or fearful at work and need to be brave, Double Dare Ya by Bikini Kill transforms my attitude and reminds me of my values. For those moments when I desperately need inner calm, I find it – in a raging hardcore gig.

    AuDHD and Music: Next Steps


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Author Jonathan Haidt discusses

    Author Jonathan Haidt discusses

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    Author Jonathan Haidt discusses “The Anxious Generation” – CBS News


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    Rates of depression, anxiety and suicide among young people in the United States have risen dramatically in the last decade. A highly anticipated book tracks the possible causes — and offers potential solutions.

    Be the first to know

    Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.


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  • “Secrecy vs. Privacy: How to Decide Who to Tell About Your Child’s ADHD”

    “Secrecy vs. Privacy: How to Decide Who to Tell About Your Child’s ADHD”

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    Sometimes, an ADHD diagnosis can bring more confusion than clarity. As a parent, you may think, “Should I share the diagnosis with other adults in the family and in my child’s life? How do I know who to trust?”

    You may fear possible judgments and others’ assumptions about your child or yourself. You may feel anxious, ashamed, or uncertain of who to tell or where to go for support. You may wonder if sharing the ADHD diagnosis will make your child feel badly about themselves. Or maybe it’s the opposite — you wonder if choosing to keep quiet will make your child feel like something is wrong with them.

    ADHD Diagnosis: Secrecy vs. Privacy

    Let’s start untangling this web of uncertainty by differentiating secrecy and privacy.

    Secrecy is an intentional act of restraining or hiding information, typically because it is believed that the information is problematic and will have negative consequences out in the open. Secrecy is associated with shame. While privacy is also intentional, it is associated with empowerment, not shame. Privacy is a choice and a right. It connotes respect in that it allows one to know themselves, to have information about who they are, and then to decide with whom to share that information. For this reason, you want to disclose and discuss ADHD within the framework of your child and family’s right to privacy, while rejecting the idea of secrecy or shame.

    [Read: Explaining ADHD to Your Child]

    Is It Necessary? Is It Kind?

    You should never keep your child’s ADHD from them. How you discuss the condition with your child will depend on their age, comprehension skills, and other factors, but the point is to speak openly about their unique brain and why they have certain challenges.

    It gets trickier when deciding who to tell outside of immediate family and whether you or your child gets to make that decision. If your child is too young to consent to their diagnosis being shared, my suggestion is to think about two of Rumi’s three gates of speech before you speak: Is it necessary? Is it kind?

    • Would sharing the diagnosis and explaining your child’s behaviors or needs help the person better understand your child?
    • Would sharing the diagnosis help others be more successful in their interactions or relationship with your child?
    • Would sharing the diagnosis open possibilities for more support without harming your relationship with your child now or in the future?
    • If it is necessary to share this information, how can you convey your child’s struggles with kindness and respect?  Can you include your child or teen in any way in this communication?

    Prior to sharing your child’s diagnosis with someone, consider the person’s character and previous behaviors. Have you witnessed them be judgmental toward others? Do they appear to use shame as a tool or a weapon? Do they gossip frequently? Do they show an unwillingness to learn or revise their thinking in light of new information?  If it’s yes to all, move on; you won’t find support and acceptance from them.

    [Read: It Takes A Village — Help Other People Understand ADHD]

    If you decide to share your child’s diagnosis, you should still respect your child’s privacy by directly asking the individual for discretion. Share whether you have received consent from your child or if this disclosure is your own decision. Engage in private, respectful conversation in appropriate places, not at the bus stop and other public places. Speak about ADHD in a neurodiversity-affirming manner.

    Online support groups can be great places to find community, acceptance, and like-minded people. Be cautious about sharing your child’s diagnosis or struggles in ways that can make them easily identified.

    As your child grows older, ask them to consider the same questions and points above to help them decide who to talk to about their ADHD. Of course, if your child decides that they do not want you to share their diagnosis with someone, you must also respect your child’s right to privacy, even if you disagree with their reasoning.

    Explaining ADHD to Others: Next Steps


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
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    Shreya Rane

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  • “4 ADHD Defense Mechanisms – and How to Break Them”

    “4 ADHD Defense Mechanisms – and How to Break Them”

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    As a psychotherapist, an ADHD coach, and someone who lives with ADHD, I understand fully how the shame, stress, and anxiety of our symptoms and challenges – from procrastination and forgetfulness to time blindness and impulsivity – cause many of us to develop defense mechanisms. We seek to protect ourselves, especially when ADHD causes us to be consistently inconsistent and disappoint the people in our lives, by developing coping strategies that sometimes cause us more harm than good.

    The following four defense mechanisms commonly develop among individuals with ADHD:

    Blaming

    Blaming as a defense mechanism looks like making others responsible for the occurrence of an ADHD symptom and its consequences, as seen in the following examples:

    Your child forgets that an assignment is due. The due date was posted and announced, yet they blame the teacher for not being clear enough about the deadline.

    You arrive late to an event. You didn’t give yourself enough time to get there, yet you blame traffic or the slow driver in front of you for showing up late.

    [Read: 7 Self-Defeating Behaviors That Aggravate ADHD – and How to Fix Them]

    You forget to pay a bill. You blame your partner for mixing the bill with other papers, even though it was in your court to set a reminder for yourself to pay the bill – and put it on autopay.

    Defensiveness

    Responding in angry, confrontational ways that deflect from the issue rather than address it marks this defense mechanism. The following are examples of defensiveness:

    Your teen arrived late to school and missed their first period class. You try to talk to them about it, but your child tells you to mind your own business or lashes out. Tensions rise.

    Your partner mentions that you still haven’t cleaned out the garage like you said you would do for months now. You quickly get angry and deflect. “Well, you haven’t cleaned out your closet in a long time either,” you say. A fight breaks out, and everyone feels miserable.

    [Read: Why You Lash Out — Sometimes for No Good Reason]

    Minimizing

    Minimizing occurs when you respond to complaints or disapproval about your ADHD symptoms by minimizing their effects on yourself or others. For example, you meet a friend half an hour later than you both planned. You notice that your friend is visibly upset, but you downplay your lateness, telling your friend “it’s no big deal.” Your friend gets even more upset, frustrated that you don’t seem to care about them or understand the effect of your actions.

    Dishonesty

    Not being truthful is a defense mechanism that causes lots of distress for families who are terrified about what it means about their child or partner’s character. But lying or stretching the truth, like other defense mechanisms, often come up in an effort to avoid shame and conflict. It’s also a method to save energy and avoid fatigue. (Living in a neurotypical world, after all, is exhausting.)

    How to Break ADHD Defense Mechanisms

    Let go of defense mechanisms by humbly owning up to ADHD symptoms as they arise.

    • Know your strengths and areas of need. When do these defense mechanisms come up the most? What actions, no matter how small, can you take to manage the problem area?
    • Apologize if you upset someone. As painful as it may feel to own up to an ADHD symptom, an apology shows others that you’re aware of how your actions – even if unintended – affected them. Be genuine in your apology. Say, “I’m sorry I made you wait. I should have gotten in the shower an hour earlier. I will work on that. I will text you ahead of time and let you know if I’m running late.”
    • Seek to improve, not to perfect. If paying bills on time has always been a tough problem area, then a good goal would be to reduce how many bills are paid late in the next month. Aiming for improvement, not perfection, will take the pressure off and allow you to make more strides.
    • Perfection doesn’t exist. ADHD symptoms and traits do not make you a bad person. Be kind to yourself and remember that there are many fabulous parts to you. Embrace your gifts and humbly acknowledge the frustrating parts and commit to working on them.

    If you are the parent of a child or teen with ADHD, help them adopt the above strategies and heed these tips for parents, families, and partners:

    • Take an empathetic lens. ADHD is a neurological condition that makes it hard to live up to the expectations of a neurotypical world. It’s why shame and defense mechanisms develop so quickly. Treatments and supports like medication, therapy, and coaching can help your child or spouse better manage symptoms and day-to-day challenges.
    • Create an accepting environment where it’s safe to talk about ADHD and defense mechanisms. This encourages honesty and problem solving.
    • Remain calm when bringing up an issue. Do not explode in anger or insult. If your partner left out a piece of wood with rusty nails near your dog’s walking area (as my ADHD husband once did), say, “I noticed you left out a piece of wood with sharp nails outside. That was upsetting and dangerous because it could hurt the dog. Please be more mindful of where you place items.”
    • Be curious when symptoms go unmanaged. Together, think about how they can be better managed in the future. Look for improvement rather than expecting the issue to never happen again. Your child, for example, may still have moments where they conceal the truth to avoid punishment as a result of an unmanaged ADHD symptom. Your job is to create an environment where you won’t get upset if your child isn’t telling the truth, and work with them to manage the ADHD symptom in question.

    ADHD Defense Mechanisms: Next Steps

    Susan Ciardiello, Ph.D., LCSW, is a psychotherapist and ADHD coach. She is the author of ACTivities for Group Work with School-Age Children and ACTivities for Group Work with Adolescents. Learn more about Dr. Ciardiello by visiting her website at www.drsusanciardiello.com


    SUPPORT ADDITUDE
    Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Rumination vs. Savoring: The Neural Dynamics Between Positive and Negative Thinking – The Emotion Machine

    Rumination vs. Savoring: The Neural Dynamics Between Positive and Negative Thinking – The Emotion Machine

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    Rumination is the cornerstone of depression and anxiety. It’s characterized by an excessive replaying of negative thoughts and memories. A new study finds rumination activates the same brain regions as savoring, or the replaying of positive thoughts. Can depressed people learn to use their brains’ natural abilities in a more constructive way?


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    Steven Handel

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  • “I Hyperfocused on My Tiny Baby’s Survival… for Four Months”

    “I Hyperfocused on My Tiny Baby’s Survival… for Four Months”

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    In 2020, my son was born prematurely, weighing a tiny 600 grams, or a little over a pound. He was what they call a micropreemie. I had never seen a premature baby before, but there he was, so tiny he fit in the palm of my hand. Upon his birth, I was suddenly flung into the world of neonatal intensive care.

    The trauma of an early birth is incredibly extreme. It’s being thrust onto a high-speed, rickety roller coaster with dangerous ups and downs. My baby was tiny, but he was breathing. Around a sharp turn we went as we were immediately separated after birth. The intensity of the separation was so great, it could have shattered me into a million pieces right there. He was perfectly proportioned – up, up, up – but he needed life support – down, down, down. He was a fighter, but we’d plummet as he’d battle infections. He needed so many blood transfusions. He had a good heart, but some other organs were underdeveloped. His lungs constantly collapsed. There were times when we almost derailed completely, like when he’d turned blue in my hands. Like all the times when his heart almost stopped.

    The chaos during his time in the NICU never ceased. But each and every day, I was able to be there for my tiny human because I concentrated so intently on him, a phenomenon that has a name, I learned much later on – hyperfocus – and is part of ADHD.

    My Son’s Survival: The Object of My Hyperfocus

    So intense was my concentration that I was able to retain a barrage of new medical information, administer medicines and feeds, pump milk, sing to him, read to him, advocate for him, and fight for him even when the prognosis looked dire. One of the doctors in the NICU even asked me if I was in the medical field, too. No, I just know how to concentrate when needed and learn everything possible about a situation. My son’s survival became the object of my hyper focus. There was nothing that could derail me.

    Even when he was finally discharged after a long four-month hospital stay, with prongs and adhesives on his little face, I still hyperfocused through this new winding valley. After all, there were many medications to prepare and administer, oxygen concentrators and portable tanks to adapt to, and endless invasive and painful appointments and surgeries. Through it all, I researched every aspect of his diagnoses and care, how to help him heal, and how to prepare him for what was to come.

    [Read: A Playbook for Post-Traumatic Growth]

    The Hyperfocus Comedown

    I was in a daze when I disembarked from the rickety roller coaster of the NICU. Absorbed by my son’s health and all things relating to prematurity, I had tuned out the world around me, even myself.

    Used to communicating with nurses, doctors, and others in the NICU, I had to re-learn how to communicate with others who were outside of this world. I learned the hard way (as is my tendency) that not everyone wants to hear about our journey not because they’re disinterested, but because talking about trauma makes others acutely uncomfortable. Hyper focusing on the particulars of my son’s health, it seemed, almost detached me from the pain of this harrowing experience.

    The aftermath of months of hyper focus was a rubble of burnout, depression, confusion, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and loss of self-worth. My introduction to motherhood had been as a bystander. I was a nurse and an advocate for my son, but I still had to learn how to be his mother, which brought me so much guilt. I was drowning.

    I drew upon all the strategies I could muster from years of therapy. I reached out to others, I asked for help, for company — even just a cup of coffee. Some told me that I was “too much” while others didn’t seem to take me seriously because I seemed fine enough.

    [Read: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Hyperfocus]

    If I didn’t do something, I knew I’d be at the bottom of the ocean quickly.

    So, once again, I grabbed on to my hyperfocus wire. I researched and researched all things medical trauma and traumatic birth, and I came out on the other end with diagnoses of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), postpartum depression (PPD) and ADHD.

    I found a community group that sent volunteers around a few times a week to just sit with me, have a cuppa, and hold the baby while I took a shower. Such simple things gave me the space to breathe and finally steady my feet enough to get the help I needed.

    Hyperfocus Saved Me – and My Child

    When I’ve hyperfocused previously – before I knew it had a name – it was often a draining experience that, like other aspects of my neurodivergent brain, was hard for me to understand and embrace.

    But after my diagnoses, I have a greater understanding of how my brain works, and more grace for myself and what I’ve journeyed through. The ability to hyperfocus, as I now know, can be an incredible strength. I’m thankful that my resilient neurodivergent brain forged a pathway through trauma and saved me and my little human.

    Birth Trauma and ADHD: Next Steps


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    Shreya Rane

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  • Positive Psychology Tools Are Most Effective For Those Who Practice Long-Term

    Positive Psychology Tools Are Most Effective For Those Who Practice Long-Term

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    A new study finds that a “Science of Happiness” university course, designed to teach students a variety of happiness hacks, provides the most long-term benefits when participants stick with the tools and exercises after completion.


    There have been many experiments showing the short-term benefits of positive psychological interventions like gratitude, meditation, kindness, and journaling, but not many studies have looked into these effects on a longer timeline.

    At the University of Bristol, there’s a popular course known as “The Science of Happiness” that aims to teach students how to use various happiness hacks to improve their mental health and well-being. This course has been running since 2019 and has been offered both online and in-person.

    The program balances practical advice with important information on topics such as: the nature of happiness, the role of biology and environment, cognitive biases, brain mechanisms, problem-solving, and the importance of social connection. At the end of each week, students are instructed to try evidence-based activities or “happiness hacks,” as a way of fostering positive mental well-being.

    In previous years, individuals who took the course reported significantly increased mental well-being from the first week to the final week, as shown by a 10-15% increase in their scores on the Short Warwick-Edinburgh Mental Well-Being Scale. Participants also reported reduced loneliness and anxiety. A follow-up after six weeks continued to show sustained benefits, but it was unclear how long these positive effects lasted.

    In a new study published in the journal Higher Education, researchers analyzed 228 undergraduate students from various disciplines who had completed the positive psychology course either 1 or 2 years ago. Interestingly, while most students reported short-term benefits, later group analysis revealed that these benefits did not persist uniformly across all participants during the long term follow-up period.

    A deeper look at the data revealed a crucial factor behind the program’s success: continued engagement. Approximately 51% of the students who actively practiced the recommended activities taught during the course maintained their increased mental well-being over the follow-up period. These students consistently applied positive psychology principles in their daily lives at least a year after they completed the class.

    Here’s a chart from the study illustrating the findings:

    As you can see, those who continued to follow the “happiness hacks” maintained their gains in subjective well-being during the long term follow-up.

    The most commonly reported technique that students continued to use was gratitude (37.17%), including writing letters of gratitude to others and making lists of things that they were grateful for (“three good things”). Other commonly reported techniques were mindfulness/meditation (33.63%), exercise (21.24%), journaling (17.70%) and kindness (10.62%).


    How to Create Sustained Positive Change

    The study recommends that schools and institutions consider the long-term impact of psychoeducational courses. While initial benefits are essential, sustained effects depend on prolonged engagement and commitment.

    Course designs should incorporate mechanisms to encourage continued practice:

    The goal of psychology – whether it’s with a course, book, article, therapist, or coach – is always to take what you learn and integrate it into your real world living.

    In the moment, learning about these tools and exercises can provide a nice temporary boost of relief, but then we quickly get bored, forget about them, stop applying them, and lose out on their benefits over time.

    Much like a diet or exercise regimen, you need to create a mental health system in your life that works for you and is sustainable into the future. Quick fixes are a myth. You’ll always snap back to your old ways if you don’t choose a course of action you can follow continuously and indefinitely.

    In theory, choose habits you can do for the rest of your life. That’s the mindset you need for continuous growth, happiness, and well-being. Gratitude, kindness, meditation, exercise, and journaling can become habits that are just as second-nature to you as tying your shoes or driving a car. Make self-care an everyday occurence.

    Ultimately, if you want to build a happy life, you have to be in it for the long haul.


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    Steven Handel

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  • “What Years of Debilitating Migraines Taught Me About ADHD in Women”

    “What Years of Debilitating Migraines Taught Me About ADHD in Women”

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    Before I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 33, my body felt like a mystery, an experience I assume is nearly universal for women with a late diagnosis. Yes, there was forgetfulness, distractibility, “careless” errors, internal restlessness, and emotional dysregulation. Yes, there were incredibly painful menstrual cycles with mood changes so drastic they should have their own amusement park rides named after them. But there were also migraine headaches so severe that they’d often lead me to hide in the bathroom and vomit while working a retail job at age 20.

    Despite the unbearable pain and nausea associated with migraines, I attended regular work and school hours. With then-undiagnosed ADHD, untreated migraines, severe mood swings, and an unpredictable body, I completed all of my responsibilities with a smile on my face, masking the feeling of being a walking zombie. Experiencing – or rather, trying to act like I wasn’t experiencing any of it – was likely a big reason why I was diagnosed with depression before I was diagnosed with ADHD.

    All Roads Lead Back to Estrogen

    After my ADHD diagnosis, I poured myself into research, as I quickly learned I would need to educate myself about ADHD’s unique presentation in women. One finding that struck me was just how much hormonal fluctuations influence ADHD symptoms in women, which complicates an already-complicated picture. The villain causing all of my challenges, it seemed, was low estrogen levels.

    [Get This Free Download: Hormones & ADHD in Women]

    It turns out that there’s a strong relationship between estrogen and dopamine, which is one of the main neurotransmitters involved in ADHD. Low estrogen levels mean low dopamine levels. The inverse is true. When we consider that there are predictable drops in estrogen throughout the female lifespan, like right before getting a period or during perimenopause, to name a few, it means there’s a predictable worsening of ADHD symptoms, too. Low estrogen levels seem to hit us hard, which may be why premenstrual mood disorder (PMDD), a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), disproportionately affects women with ADHD.1

    But that’s not all. Low estrogen levels are also known to trigger migraines.2 Could this connection explain why migraines, which are more prevalent in women, co-occur with ADHD about 35% of the time?3 As I tried to put the pieces together, I felt like a detective uncovering the mystery of my life. I finally understood why I felt so out of my body and mind in the midst of a migraine attack. I understood why, on migraine days with yet undiagnosed ADHD, it felt like there was an ineffective replacement version of me steering the ship, and the vessel that was me was constantly on the verge of collapse.

    Silent Conditions

    As I tried to learn more about the migraines-ADHD connection in women, I learned that, as with ADHD, research on migraines and the scientific attention given to migraines are biased with respect to gender. In Migraine: Inside a World of Invisible Pain (#CommissionsEarned), Maria Konnikova writes that, despite the disease’s prevalence, migraines receive little to no attention in medical schools. Further, Konnikova explains that Sigmund Freud can be thanked for the gender divide in migraine diagnosis. If women are suffering, it must be, quite literally, an unobservable, unexplainable phenomenon in their heads. Like ADHD, migraines are a silent and overlooked condition in women. As with my own ADHD diagnosis journey, I suffered from migraine headaches for years before going to a neurologist to finally get them treated.

    [Read: Hormonal Changes & ADHD — a Lifelong Tug-of-War]

    Invisible No More

    In her 1968 essay “In Bed,” Joan Didion writes that the public often views migraines as “imaginary.” I argue that ADHD is often viewed similarly in women. And why wouldn’t this be the case? As long as we mask our pain and our symptoms — a habit I’m still unlearning — ADHD in women will continue to be difficult to detect. As long as the medical community dismisses the relationship between hormonal fluctuations and ADHD, women will go misdiagnosed and improperly treated.

    Here’s the truth: Women with ADHD, like women with migraines and other conditions heavily tied to hormonal and dopamine imbalances, are boiling pots with ill-fitting lids that we and the people around us use to avoid being misperceived as untamed shrews. And I’d venture to guess you’re just as tired of acting as I am. Regardless of the condition, we deserve to have all of our symptoms taken seriously.

    ADHD in Women: Next Steps


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    #CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

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    Shrishti Jadhav

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  • “The Day I Learned Why Time Is Such a Mystery to ADHD Brains”

    “The Day I Learned Why Time Is Such a Mystery to ADHD Brains”

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    How often do you show up late to the events and responsibilities of your life? Forty percent of the time? Half? If you can’t say 100% of the time, then I win. I am the Queen of Lateness.

    Or I was.

    I used to be late for practically everything. And take it from the Queen: Being late stinks. It’s a self-sabotaging act that gave me decades of anguish, hurt, and frustration. I knew the heartache of lateness like I knew the jewels on my crown. I’d have given anything not to wear that crown, to be a commoner who — gasp — gets to appointments a few minutes early.

    Following is the story of how I changed my lifelong habit of lateness practically overnight. No, this is not a clickbait story. It’s the sharing of fundamental tools that us late and time-blind folk don’t realize are out there. It’s my “eureka” story.

    Step One: Time Yourself

    My lateness was “cured” in 2007 at the start of the recession. My job as a tech recruiter was on shaky ground, so I pivoted and started a cleaning and residential organizing company. My sweet cousin recommended my services to her friends, who hired me. With my company and reputation now connected to my friend and family circle, I had to avoid failure at all costs. Lateness threatened it all, which meant I had to find a solution.

    How was the Queen of Lateness supposed to undo a lifelong habit? I started with the only thing I could think of — measuring time itself. Rather than assume how long it took me to do something, I actually tracked myself. If you’ve never done this, I can tell you the results will shock you. It shocked me to learn that grabbing coffee, putting on my jacket, walking to the car, setting up my GPS, and backing out of my driveway took 10 minutes, not zero minutes, which is the time I always allotted.

    [Get This Free Download: Get There On Time, Every Time]

    This is what got me to realize why time was such a mystery to me and other folks with ADHD. Though the clock is always ticking, we don’t often account for the little, almost automatic tasks — picking out an outfit, looking over notes before a meeting, making a quick lunch – that undoubtedly use up time. Ten minutes to get out of the house may sound like small peanuts, but when you add up all the other unaccounted-for tasks through your day, that time significantly adds up.

    Time yourself and you’ll see that it takes longer than “half an hour” to go from waking up to getting out the door. Google Maps can give you a good estimate of how long it takes to get from Point A to Point B, but it can’t tell you how long it takes to park, pay the meter, walk to your destination, and get inside the building. Trust me on that one.

    Step Two: Accept the Numbers

    This discovery, which had been hiding in plain sight all this time, shattered my world of lateness and gave me the key to a world where punctuality was possible.

    But there was one last door to unlock before I truly internalized punctuality. Though I now had proof of how long tasks really took, it somehow wasn’t enough to change my ways. I had to become willing to drop my prior assumptions and adjust to reality. I had to accept that most things will take longer than I think (or hope). I had to go from an expert bargainer with time to one who submits to it.

    [Read: “Why Am I Terrible – and Oddly Inconsistent – with Time Estimation?”]

    At first, I protested when my time estimations, freshly calibrated, told me it would take two hours to do something I assumed I could do in one hour. But that skepticism was replaced with joy when I did what time told me to – and I was early. I became the newly crowned Queen of Punctuality. Guess what this did for my reputation and my serenity? Guess what it did for my self-concept?

    I’d love for you to see what this new life feels like. When you do, you will bow to me and thank me until the end of time, which is further away than you might think.

    Be on Time: Next Steps


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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • The switch to daylight saving time is unpopular – and unhealthy, experts say

    The switch to daylight saving time is unpopular – and unhealthy, experts say

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    Collective groans emerge from under comforters each spring with the advent of daylight saving time and the loss of one hour’s sleep.

    A recent poll conducted by Monmouth University found that 61% of Americans wanted to get rid of the twice-a-year time change – falling back an hour each November to standard time and springing ahead each March to daylight saving. Just over one-third of people wanted to keep the back-and-forth shifts.


    MOREDrinking coffee could lower risk of obesity, study says


    Not only is switching from standard time to daylight saving the second Sunday in March wildly unpopular – it is also dangerous. Studies have shown it leads to increased behavioral health issues, cardiovascular events and traffic fatalities.

    “That one-hour change may not seem like much, but it can wreak havoc on people’s mental and physical well-being in the short term,” Dr. Charles Czeisler, a professor of sleep medicine at Harvard Medical School, told Harvard Men’s Health Watch last year.

    Pushing clocks ahead an hour increases “our exposure to morning darkness and to artificial light at night,” which disrupts our circadian rhythm, the name for the physical, mental and behavioral changes we experience over a 24-hour period, said Dr. Zhikui Wei, a specialist in sleep medicine and neurology at Thomas Jefferson University’s Sleep Disorders Center. It may take “weeks to months to adjust to the lost hour” resulting in “ongoing sleep deficiency.”

    The negative health impacts from this disruption range from mood changes to increased risk for suicide and substance abuse.

    “It’s definitely not uncommon for patients who struggle with circadian rhythm disorders to struggle with mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety,” Wei said.

    People are at higher risk for heart attacks, strokes and traffic accidents in the days following the move to daylight saving time.

    Behavioral, learning and attention issues are also common among adolescents who get less sleep. A 2015 study found that students had slower reaction times and were less able to pay attention in school in the days following the spring time change.

    These findings are why the “medical community in general has voiced support for permanent standard time,” Wei said.

    In 2020, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine published a position paper against the move from standard time to daylight saving time, stating that the “acute transition” leads to serious public health and safety risks.

    “Daylight saving time is less aligned with human circadian biology – which, due to the impacts of the delayed natural light/dark cycle on human activity, could result in circadian misalignment, which has been associated in some studies with increased cardiovascular disease risk, metabolic syndrome and other health risks,” the paper reads, ultimately advocating for the move to a fixed, year-round standard time.

    Legislation to eliminate the back-and-forth time changes has been languishing in Congress.

    Last year, Sen. Marco Rubio, of Florida, reintroduced the bipartisan Sunshine Protection Act in the U.S. Senate. It would create a permanent, national daylight saving time. But the bill, which would generally mean less light in the morning, has stalled.

    At this time, federal law still prohibits states from adopting permanent daylight saving time.

    Plus, medical experts do not support permanent daylight saving since it causes a “misalignment between social clock and internal circadian rhythm,” Wei said.

    “Many people’s circadian rhythms are somewhat resilient, but if you’re going to make a change, it would be much more favorable to go with standard time,” Dr. Patrick J. Strollo Jr., a sleep-apnea researcher and pulmonologist at the University of Pittsburgh, said in a post on the American Medical Association’s website.

    When the United States experimented with universal daylight saving time in 1973, during an energy crisis, the sun generally didn’t come up before 8 a.m. across Pennsylvania. Parents objected to their children riding buses back and forth to school in the dark.

    The shift to universal daylight saving was so unpopular that Congress halted the plan just 10 months into the experiment.

    The tug-of-war time changes began in the early 1900s to preserve energy and resources and to promote commerce. The shifting between standard and daylight saving time started and stopped several times before becoming permanent with the 1966 Uniform Time Act.

    What makes these biannual time changes especially unhealthy is that they exacerbate existing problems people have with sleep hygiene, Wei said.

    “One of the biggest challenges in modern day is that sometimes there are other priorities that may take the place of sleep,” Wei said. “But from a health perspective and a life perspective, sleep is an essential function.”

    Daylight saving time takes effect Sunday at 2 a.m., when clocks move one hour ahead.

    To help ease the transition, Wei recommended that people start waking up 15 to 30 minutes earlier each day, starting Thursday. “That way, people may have an easier time adjusting to the earlier schedule,” Wei said.

    He also suggested that people prioritize and protect their sleep even more than they normally do by:

    • Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule
    • Getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night
    • Avoiding caffeine, alcohol and smoking
    • Reducing exposure to artificial light, such as from electronic devices, at least 30 minutes to one hour before bedtime
    • Seeking professional help for any mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression

    How do you know if you need to see a sleep specialist?

    If you have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep or experience unsatisfying sleep, you might want to talk to a medical provider, Wei said.

    Other reasons to think about having a sleep assessment include experiencing mood swings or mood disturbances during the day or suffering from impaired daytime functioning and alertness.

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    Courtenay Harris Bond

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  • Clinical Depression Survivor Aims to Save Lives With Release of Transformative Poetry Collection

    Clinical Depression Survivor Aims to Save Lives With Release of Transformative Poetry Collection

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    Press Release


    Mar 7, 2024

    In a world more connected yet more disconnected than ever, poet Anthony Andricks creates an immersive experience providing testament that we can overcome, find contentment, and reclaim hope and purpose.

    Shrew God Publishing announces the release of Repurposed (Trial by Lineation) by Ohio poet and attorney Anthony Andricks. Repurposed isn’t only a poetry book; it’s an extraordinary feat, fusing art and emotion that captures the human experience in a tapestry of voices from the past, present, and future. The 44-year-old author draws inspiration from the experiences of iconic LGBTQ+ trailblazers and seamlessly intertwines them with his own past struggles, using a unique approach that merges the reflective tendencies of GenX with the psychotherapeutic shadow work method embraced by Millennials and GenZ. This boundary-breaking style creates an intergenerational lifeline— a cohesive and linear poetic narrative about overcoming and redemption. In a series of online interviews, Andricks provides potential readers with a sneak peek into his work and methods. 

    “With a suicide epidemic sweeping the country,” says Andricks, “I feel a responsibility to let others know I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to give up hope. I also know what it takes to fight through it, to find purpose again. That’s what this book is about—sharing an experience through a poetic lens to inspire others, or even just one person, to flush those pills and fight.”  

    Emmy-nominated producer, director, and editor Nick Ramos adds, “Repurposed is incredibly relatable, and some poems hit painfully hard. Creative genius and raw courage remarkably displayed. I loved the artwork.” 

    The color version of Repurposed features the artwork of Cory Andricks, the author’s brother, providing stunning and unique visuals that complement the written word.  

    Anthony Andricks grew up in Bryan, Ohio, and presently resides in Lakewood, Ohio. Anthony graduated summa cum laude from Cleveland State University College of Law in 2012 and practices commercial real estate law at an AmLaw 200 firm where he also serves as the firmwide LGBTQ+ diversity leader.

    For more information, please visit www.RepurposedPoetry.com.

                                                                                                                            ###

    Source: Shrew God Publishing

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  • “Celebrate the Mistakes You Don’t Make”

    “Celebrate the Mistakes You Don’t Make”

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    Most neurotypical people don’t fully understand or recognize ADHD struggles — and why would they? It’s hard for people with ADHD to describe their experiences because they are so complex and all-encompassing. There’s also a false familiarity (“Everyone’s a bit ADHD!”), so neurotypical people often assume that they know what we’re describing when they have only a vague or watered-down idea.

    The truth is that ADHD is genuinely debilitating at times. For example, I’ve spent all day writing this, but it was originally meant to be a 10-minute edit.

    There are days when I struggle with ADHD impulsivity in ways that seemingly mess up my life, even when I’m being careful and working on managing my impulses. I take responsibility for my actions, but I’ve also beaten myself up for years over past mistakes. These blips and slips do not represent who I am, my skills, or my true character.

    [Do I Have Hyperactive Impulsive ADHD? Take This Test]

    The Mistakes You Don’t Make

    Neurotypical people tend to notice our mistakes first and, to a lesser degree, our ‘surprising’ success stories. What they don’t see are the mistakes and blips we stop ourselves from making. Most of our personal progress in managing our ADHD symptoms is invisible to others, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore or discount it. Even small steps in the right direction deserve recognition.

    For example, I have a habit of saying things that come out the wrong way when I’m nervous. I’ll see the other person’s eyebrow go up, assume the worst, panic, and try to dig my way out. This has — and never will — work, especially at work.

    To solve this, I stop, close my eyes, open them again, make eye contact, and say, “Sorry, that came out wrong, and now I feel a bit silly.” Then I smile, which is a positive cue, and ask a related question to regain the flow of the conversation.

    Most people would shrug off this interaction, but when it happens, I know I’ve made progress. I try, in those moments, to recognize that I’m spending time and effort addressing ADHD traits that matter.

    [Download This Free Guide to Managing ADHD and Intense Emotions]

    Is It Worth Getting Upset?

    Impulsive mistakes don’t define me; neither do first impressions and strangers’ opinions. Over time, I’ve learned to recognize and understand the difference between a royal screw-up that will have a long-term effect on my life and things that are just normal human errors or behaviors that temporarily irked someone.

    Think about your past dramas. Do you still talk to the people whose opinions kept you up at night for months? Do you even remember what you actually said? Was it really that important to you or to them?

    Chances are that awkward, little mortifying moment was the funniest part of the person’s otherwise boring day. It probably made you quite endearing to them, but you’re assuming the worst because a lifetime of criticism has exacerbated your RSD and accentuated your sensitivity.

    Instead, I’d encourage you to embrace and try to enjoy your silly ADHD moments for what they are. You are not the first person to giggle at a funeral or accidentally interrupt an exciting conversation because you want in. Being a bit embarrassed is quite cute, and it’s okay to be nervous and feel silly. Everyone does it, and everyone puts ‘their foot in their mouth.’ If anything, you’ve probably replaced all the stress and tension in the atmosphere, and with some humanity and joy, and that is an invisible victory unto itself.

    Embracing ADHD Impulsivity: Next Steps


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    Melanie Wachsman

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  • “4 Simple Strategies to Help Impulsive Students Stop Blurting”

    “4 Simple Strategies to Help Impulsive Students Stop Blurting”

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    We’ve all seen it. The student who inadvertently cuts off their friend mid-sentence because they have something they really, really want to say. The student who is excited and enthusiastic about today’s lesson and can’t help but blurt out responses.

    With patience and a few tried-and-true strategies, you can help your student harness their enthusiasm and energy in the classroom while minimizing blurting. Use these ideas to spark your next brilliant behavior plan or classroom-management strategy.

    1. Try planned ignoring. During a classroom activity, acknowledge students who raise their hands and wait to be called on. (Be sure to repeat this expectation prior to and during the lesson.) When a student who was previously blurting is now raising their hand, call on that student right away, and praise their enthusiastic efforts to contribute while following classroom expectations.

    [Get This Free Download: The Daily Report Card for Better Classroom Behavior]

    2. Three nods and a deep breath. For students who struggle with waiting their turn to contribute to a conversation (especially when it’s an exciting one that relates to their interests), encourage them to work and refine their patience muscles with a quick exercise: When the urge to blurt comes up before a friend has finished their statement, slowly and slightly nod three times and then take a deep breath before jumping in. Even if the student does end up blurting, it’s the practice of mindfully waiting that counts. This exercise also teaches students to be active listeners.

    3. Use self-monitoring tools. Sometimes, students are unaware that they are blurting and how often they engage in the behavior. Self-monitoring tools can raise their awareness (without causing shame) and help control its frequency. My favorite way to use self-monitoring in the classroom is for both student and teacher to track the student’s blurt count for a lesson/period and compare results.

    If the blurt tally is the same, then the student gets to pick from the big prize box for recognizing the number of times they blurted. (If the tally is off, you should reward the student anyway for making progress, perhaps by allowing them to pick a smaller prize.)

    Over time, once the student’s baseline number of blurts is established, you can set clear goals around limiting those interruptions. If five is the average for a lesson, then aim for the student to blurt no more than three times a lesson. Praise and reward the student, perhaps with additional time for recess for the whole class.

    [Read: Impulse Control Strategies for School and Home]

    4. Do an environmental check. Thinking critically about the environment in which our students learn is essential to maximize their learning and make sure everyone is on the same page with respect to the classroom rules.

    • Review classroom expectations frequently with your students. Make sure that the rules are clear and easy to understand, and write them on the board or keep them on a poster hanging up for all to see. Ensure that students understand when it is okay to talk softly to friends in their desk pod and when it’s time to be absolutely quiet, like during tests.
    • Consider seating. Put a student who blurts near your desk or away from other students who also blurt. Consider creating a designated space in your classroom that students can go to if they need to self-regulate to control blurting and other impulsive behaviors.
    • Don’t overlook the importance of a clutter-free space. Where is my notebook? Pencil? Last week’s homework assignment? A cleaner environment can reduce these questions, which may come out as blurting. During transition times, have your students take a few minutes to do individualized environmental check to keep organized.
    • Check noise levels. Soft music may calm some students, which helps with impulsivity, while others need absolute silence to avoid being “activated.” Think of what works for your students and consider using noise cancelling headphones for students who need quiet.

    How to Stop Blurting: Next Steps


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  • “I’m Newly Diagnosed at 90 — and So Thankful”

    “I’m Newly Diagnosed at 90 — and So Thankful”

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    When I was born in 1933, neurodivergence (along with jet aircraft, the atom bomb, and plastic bags) had yet to be. If a child’s behavior did not comply with the norms of the time, as was the case for me, it resulted in punishment, not psychoanalysis. And so I grew up thinking I was naughty, talkative, lazy, untidy, and slow. I prayed to God every night to make me “good.”

    A year ago, when I was 89, my psychiatrist said to me after an evaluation, “You are definitely ADHD.” In true neurodivergent style, I blurted out, “At last — I know I’m dotty.”

    I sought an evaluation after I learned, years prior, that ADHD could be inherited. My son had been sent to the school psychiatrist at the age of 7 and diagnosed as hyperactive (the term ADHD did not yet exist). Now my granddaughter has been diagnosed at the same age. Could they have inherited the condition from me? Neither my husband nor my granddaughter’s mother were anything other than neurotypical. Could I be the ADHD source?

    I thought of my own parents. Mama – stable, competent, organized; always reliable and down-to-earth. Papa – creative; always trying something new. I remember him continually cracking his knuckles as he sat reading. I was his mental counterpart. Mama was sometimes embarrassed by our antics.

    The more I read about ADHD, the more certain I became of my own neurodivergence.

    [Read: The Transformative Power of an ADHD Diagnosis for Older Women]

    Down Memory Lane

    In the year since my diagnosis, I have been mentally reliving my life, identifying all the events that pointed to neurodivergence; and I found many. Fortunately, I was interested in most of my school subjects, and passed college matriculation exams with flying colors.

    I tolerated arithmetic (although I made basic errors through lack of concentration) and found geometry interesting, but never understood the meaning of algebra. None was more astonished than my math teacher when I passed it. I cherish one report card, on which she wrote, “Anne’s brain has gone to seed.”

    Looking back at my employment record, I can now understand why there were some jobs that I enjoyed and excelled at, and some that bored me witless and resulted in real problems. Anything that presented challenge, variety, and interaction with other people was my forte. I was in my element as a police officer, and was sorry to leave when circumstances took me to another country. I finally found my calling in the fields of personnel and training. I looked forward to Mondays, and worked long hours, achieving five promotions in 20 years.

    It was only boring, repetitive work that caused problems. I have worked at various times as a telephonist, a copy typist, and a cashier, and I can relate several unhappy episodes in my life to the lack of mental stimulation in these jobs.

    [Read: Was ADHD to Blame All Along?]

    My interests and hobbies have been varied, with many that I have dived into enthusiastically, but eventually dropped. These include sports (I played squash and softball, and managed my son’s little league baseball team), performance (singing, speaking, and amateur acting), sailing, pottery, driving a classic car, and embroidery.

    Fourteen years ago, I was widowed. For the first time in my life I was responsible to nobody and responsible for nobody. I thought of the things I like doing, and the ways I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I would continue to be involved in the community affairs of my retirement village and pursue what were now longstanding interests in travel, photography, wildlife, wine, music, and, most of all, writing.

    I have had a lifetime’s love of language – words are my favorite toys – and have dabbled in writing the occasional short story, and even one or two verses. Writing not only provides a creative outlet for my lively imagination, but it has the advantage of being an activity I could pursue as my mobility inevitably decreases.

    This Is ADHD – at 90

    The diagnosis and a growing knowledge about ADHD have changed my life. I no longer feel as though I’m acting a part, nor do I still need to mask my real self. It is easier than it was – though not always possible – to curb my actions. I still blurt out inappropriate comments, but I can now recognize them for what they are and apologize where it is called for.

    At 90, I am now physically slow and creaky, but mentally alert. I live on my own and still drive my car. My messy house worries no one, though I manage to keep the living room relatively tidy for visitors. I embrace my neurodivergence, happy with who I am. I revel in my vivid imagination and use it to fuel my creative writing. I play the music I enjoy, singing along with it, although my voice may be cracked. I can no longer dance to the music, but I can sway to its rhythm. Now, if I forget something, or I’m late for an appointment, or I make too many typos, I can always apologize and blame my lapses on old age if I choose.

    I have discovered the key to living happily with ADHD, and that is self-knowledge coupled with acceptance. That is why, after my ADHD evaluation, I walked out with a happy smile, and rejected the psychiatrist’s offer of medication. No, not for me. I’m ready to enjoy being who I am.

    ADHD Later in Life: Next Steps


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  • “6 Emotional Regulation Activities for Creative Kids with Big Feelings”

    “6 Emotional Regulation Activities for Creative Kids with Big Feelings”

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    What if dancing, coloring, and painting could be part of the parenting toolkit you use to regulate your child’s big, intense emotions?

    For children with ADHD who have challenges with emotional dysregulation – everything from meltdowns to overwhelming feelings – creative expression can serve as an effective outlet for powerful emotions. Through creative expression, children with ADHD can tap into stress relief and mindfulness while building on their interests and talents. Creativity can also be a neurodivergent-affirming way of facilitating healthy expression for children with verbal communication challenges.

    Along with other tools to help your child manage emotional dysregulation – like medication, counseling, occupational therapy, and coping skills – try the following creative activities that bring calm.

    [Get This Free Download: 5 Ways to Improve Emotional Control at Home]

    • Make sculptures using clay, Play-Doh, textured slime, and/or craft materials. Tactile activities like these are great for children who seek deep pressure input to the hands and upper body.
    • Make simple puppets, like sock puppets or ice-pop-stick puppets, and recreate a favorite story.
    • Color or draw mandalas, an activity that can improve focus and attention in children with ADHD.1 Coloring and freehand drawing are also fantastic activities for practicing fine motor skills.
    • Take movement breaks with guided dance music videos, like “Silly to Calm” by Yogapalooza with Bari Koral and “Move Your Body” from Danny Go! , both on YouTube.
    • Make a mixed-media mood board with scrap paper, markers, crayons, pictures, stickers, and other art supplies.
    • Older children and adolescents can use their phone or tablet’s built-in apps to make movies and sharpen photography skills, among other creative projects. There are plenty of free creative apps, like Canva or Shuffles, for creating fun digital collages.

    Emotional Regulation Through Creative Expression: More Tips for Parents and Caregivers

    As you explore the right creative outlet(s) for your child, consider their sensory needs and sensitivities along with their current emotional state. You may want to hold off on certain activities that can aggravate your child (like dancing to loud music) if they’re in a dysregulated state.

    Support your child’s creative expression with intentional feedback that focuses on their efforts and encourages intrinsic motivation. Instead of saying, “Your drawing is so good,” say, “You spent so much time on this project; I can tell you put lots of intention into it.”

    As you help your child develop emotional regulation skills, keep these words in mind from Alysson Goodwin, Ph.D., MBA, OTR/L, an occupational therapist, advocate, and educator: “Dysregulation is simply a resource mismatch. Support for children with ADHD is helping them to develop better ways to communicate what they are feeling in their bodies and with their emotions in an objective, open, and nonjudgmental way.”

    Creative Expression for Emotional Regulation: Next Steps


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  • THIRA Health Launches New Residential Treatment Program for Adults

    THIRA Health Launches New Residential Treatment Program for Adults

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    THIRA Health, a mental health treatment center in Bellevue, Washington, is pleased to announce the launch of its Adult Residential Treatment Program. The program is designed to help adults 18 and older who are struggling with severe emotion dysregulation, depression, anxiety, trauma, disordered eating, self-harm, and suicidal behaviors.

    The adult residential treatment program is built upon creative, innovative, and actionable ways of delivering Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to cultivate long-term, meaningful life changes. 

    With a team of experienced practitioners, this program offers targeted and round-the-clock DBT to improve coping and resilience while treating serious and life-threatening psychiatric disorders.

    According to Sarah Skoterro, Business Development Director for THIRA Health, “Our intention is to provide the most researched and validated methods of therapy to adults challenged with suicidal intentions, self harm, depression and anxiety disorders where round-the-clock care and supervision is necessary.” She added, “We welcome referrals from medical professionals in our region and also have licensed intake professionals available to discuss appropriate treatment options with individuals or family members that have concern for their loved ones.”

    The program’s foundation is comprehensive DBT, emphasizing DBT philosophy, treatment principles, and interventions of individual DBT therapy and Group DBT Skills Training.

    Program elements include:

    • Tailored Psychiatric Medication Management from Psychiatrists and expert Nurse Prescribers
    • Comprehensive Nutrition Program overseen by Registered Dieticians
    • Daily Physical Health Support by Registered Nurses and Certified Nursing Assistants
    • Expressive Arts with specialty-trained staff
    • Mindfulness groups (including mindful movement, yoga, and ikebana)
    • Experiential and Community Engagement Activities (including horticulture and animal-assisted activities)
    • Individualized family engagement sessions
    • Milieu-based DBT skills coaching

    For more information about the program, go to https://www.thirahealth.com/adult-residential-treatment-program/.

    About THIRA Health

    THIRA Health was founded by Dr. Mehri Moore with a vision to provide whole person care in a nurturing and supportive environment. Led by Dr. Kathryn Korslund, our programs bring the rigor of comprehensive DBT imparted to her by her mentor and research collaborator of over 15 years, Dr. Marsha Linehan. Our commitment to the fidelity of the DBT model combined with innovative supportive treatments, nutritional care and medication management ensures top-tier treatment. 

    THIRA is a free-standing, mission-driven licensed behavioral health agency in Washington state and fully accredited by The Joint Commission. Directed by a team of experts with a dedication to helping people build lives they define as worth living, the 100+ clinical and support staff provide services across the care continuum of intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization, and residential treatment for women, teens, and gender non-conforming individuals ages 13+.  

    Source: THIRA Health

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