My daughter shouts at me every day, and sometimes I shout right back.
ADHD gives me plenty of skills I can model for my kids, but good frustration tolerance isn’t one of them. I can make up silly songs on demand, but I’m rubbish at remaining unruffled when my 6-year-old’s temper flares.
My younger child is a lovable ball of brightness, kindness, and fun, but many things short her circuit and invoke her iron will, from unsolicited carrots to socks that won’t reach their requisite height.
She might well be neurodivergent herself. (We’re waiting in line for assessment.) But whatever the root of her proneness to grievance, it feels like we’re peas in a pod. My patience is apt to desert me the second she loses hers.
There are things I can give her directly to help her stay grounded and happy: empathy, boundaries, nutritious meals, plenty of nourishing cuddles, choice where possible, my fullest attention, the conscious uncoupling of me and my phone. But kids need a stable, consistent caregiver who they can watch and copy. If I can’t manage my own frustration, how will she ever handle hers?
Modeling Calm When Anger Strikes
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to model calm when it counts, and it strikes me that there are two things I need to nail if things are to be less shouty around here.
Most of what gives me balance is basic. Exercise, fresh air, and eating well. Walking up hills and through parks. Pilates and painting and learning new things. Time with no screens or voices to allow me to drift and dream.
They’re simple remedies, but my mental health slides if I fail to give them priority. Luckily, my partner has his own list too, so we tag-team to tick off as much as we can.
2. Keeping my cool in the moment
Much harder to master is the consistent deployment of effective strategies when my daughter digs her heels in.
When my child gets stuck in an emotional vortex, reason cannot reach her. I know how that feels myself and I’m often inclined to join her. But some recent therapy has helped me to see that I do have a choice in the moment. I can either hop aboard the resentment express and trot out a pointless monologue that spikes my cortisol and guarantees escalation. Or I can pause and make a conscious decision about how I’d like to proceed.
It’s not easy. The stress in my body is physical and real. I feel it in my chest and my neck. My ears ring and my heart races. But there are ways of letting it go. I can notice the tightness and relax the tension. My mind will often follow. I can focus on breathing more slowly and deeply (if I’m actually breathing at all). I can silently soothe myself in the tone of a grown-up who knows this will pass. When I pull it off, I’m not faking or in toxic denial. I just feel a lot more balanced and able to ride out the storm.
I get a chance to deploy my new tactics in the art of non-reaction on a Saturday, when we fancy a walk in the woods. The little one won’t get dressed, of course. Weekends are for lying down, she declares, as she burrows under our duvet, tucking it in around her to secure her fortress against potential incursion.
We could be here a while, I think. Last week we aborted completely. I implore her to put on some clothes. She kicks off the covers and thrashes around, emitting a grating whine. My chest tightens, my heart rate quickens, and I want to launch into my lecture.
But I stop. I breathe. I remember that calm breeds calm and that staying centred will help us both. She performs a series of loud exhalations, but I say to her softly that we’re leaving. Voices do not get raised. I exit the room and in minutes she’s clothed and skipping out to the van.
She briefly objects to my offensive plan to take a jacket just in case. But I let it wash over me and it burns out fast. Off we go in peace.
The same trick works on Tuesday when I commit a transgression with celery and she CANNOT EAT THIS LASAGNA (she does) and again on Friday when it puts to bed a debate over whether jellybeans constitute breakfast (they don’t).
Modeling Calm, One Little Test at a Time
There are blips involving poached eggs and car seats. I’m tired and hormonal and late – and I yell. But part of my internal deal is that I’m kind to myself when I fail. Improvement is still improvement if it’s only some of the time.
I’m buoyed by how things are going. My girl is more flexible and she’s proud of herself when she lets things go. I’m feeling quite proud of me, too.
So maybe I can crack this. Maybe soon I’ll add “measured response to frustration” to the list of things I can pass to my children. It’s not as fun as singing ditties about teachers or toilets, but it’s arguably a more essential skill that will serve them well in life.
How to Be a Calm Parent: Next Steps
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Losing track of time – while a maddening manifestation of ADHD time blindness – is not a hopeless certainty. From alarms and task chunking to time-estimation exercises, the strategies below can help you develop a more “ACCURATE” sense of time.
8 Ways to Stop Losing Track of Time
Alarms
If you aren’t already, get into the habit of setting alarms (on your phone or other devices) to keep you on track. You can use alarms in multiple ways:
as prompts (like to remind you to check your email at a certain time)
as transition warnings (e.g., “10 minutes to go before your meeting”)
as check-ins (e.g., “Did you check your email when you said you would?”)
as time markers (like an alarm with distinct chimes on the hour)
Place analog/visual clocks in all your spaces so that you can readily see time passing with the hands on the clock. Consider other visual time-keeping tools, like hourglasses and the Time Timer, a clock that shows the passage of time via a disappearing red disk.
Comparison
Come up with a list of activities that you know take 5, 15, 30, 60 and 90 minutes. When you are estimating the length that an activity will take, use your list to compare. Will doing the dishes take longer than….
listening to two songs in a row (5 to 6 minutes)?
listening to five songs in a row (13 to 15 minutes)?
watching an episode of a sitcom (30 minutes)?
watching an episode of a TV drama (45-55 minutes)?
watching a movie (90 minutes)?
Unique Visuals
Take your to-do list a step further by adding your tasks to your calendar as time-blocked activities. Keep your daily calendar as visible and eye-catching as possible, with different colors for each task/activity. Throughout the day, compare what you’re doing to what’s on your visual schedule to see if you are keeping the correct pace.
From morning to evening, routines do an amazing job of keeping us on schedule. Doing the same activities over and over will eventually give you an intuitive benchmark and take the guesswork out of time estimation, at least for part of your day.
Audio Playlist
Use timed playlists as fun cues to signal the passage of time. A study playlist, for example, can subtly remind you that you have 5 minutes left until your break once a certain song starts to play. You can also create playlists that match the length of a task (like a 10-minute bedroom cleanup).
Task Chunking
Avoid getting lost in a large task by breaking it down into smaller parts, which can also help with time estimation. Working in shorter intervals can also help you reset your focus.
Estimation
Not sure how long various task or activities take? Play the estimation game and guess the length of time for a task and then time yourself while doing it. Compare your estimate with the actual time (be honest) and then adjust your expectations accordingly. Doing this often can improve your time estimation skills across the board.
Losing Track of Time? Next Steps
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“Call a dog by a name enough times and he will eventually respond to it.”
I read these words shortly after I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 44. Those 15 words, which appeared in a book meant for ADHD families, left me stunned for weeks. They helped me understand my entire life experience far more than any other sentence – or any person, for that matter – ever had.
Despite all evidence to the contrary and much work on my part to see myself differently, I still identify to some degree with the above labels. And I know that I’m not the only one. I think of the many women today who learn that they grew up with undiagnosed ADHD, and that girls today still struggle to get properly diagnosed with ADHD.
A diagnosis as a child would have been incredible. But beyond that, I wish I had grown up hearing the following words of encouragement – the things all girls with ADHD need to hear to build their self-esteem and avoid viewing their symptoms as character flaws.
1. “You’ll need to stand up for yourself over and over. And that’s OK.” Though things are getting better, ADHD is still stigmatized and misunderstood. What’s more, girls are still socialized and expected to be obedient and compliant. When we push back, it is viewed a lot differently than when boys do it. Assertiveness and self-advocacy, especially for girls with ADHD, are essential life skills that build confidence and self-reliance.
2. “We will stand up for you.” Self-advocacy only works if girls with ADHD know that trusted adults have their backs, too. Girls need to know they’re not alone when they stand up for themselves.
3. “Accommodations are a legal entitlement, not a favor.” Growing up, I had family members who genuinely believed that any accommodations, such as extra time on tests, were a way for lazy students to get out of doing schoolwork. Anything that was different “wasn’t fair” to the other students. What critics don’t understand is that a neurotypical environment is already inherently unfair to individuals with ADHD, and the reason we are chronically dismissed and overlooked is because our disability can be largely invisible. No matter how hard we try, most of us will never succeed without external support.
The reason the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) became law is to equalize the playing field for individuals with disabilities. My customized accommodations aren’t a special favor; they’re what I need.
4. “Other girls with ADHD need you as a friend.”Shame and isolation have a lot to do with why experts miss ADHD in women and girls. Throughout my entire childhood, every adult in my life blamed me for my symptoms, and my father told me that one of the reasons I struggled to make friends was because other kids knew about my poor grades.
But what girls like me need most of all are friendships with other girls with ADHD. Bonding over common problems, social challenges, and struggles at home and at school all reduce shame and stigma while building strong connections. Greater awareness leads to feeling confident in asking for help and support. Most importantly, I wouldn’t have felt so alone for so long.
5. “Other people don’t decide your value.” Throughout my entire life, I let my parents, siblings, teachers, doctors, and bosses decide my value based on their inaccurate and sexist views of me. Now that I know better — that I’m not fundamentally deficient — I want every woman and girl to hear this: No one else decides our value.
Don’t give your power away to someone who doesn’t have any idea about what living with ADHD is like, especially when they don’t care. We all have our strengths, and there are so many different ways for our talents to shine. But we’ll never realize that if we listen to our uninformed critics.
Girls with ADD: Next Steps
Maria Reppas lives with her family on the East Coast. Her writing has been in the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, New York Daily News, Ms. Magazine, and Business Insider. Visit her on Twitter and at mariareppas.com.
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Our descent down the rabbit hole of in-app purchasing started innocently enough. My youngest child, Luca, asked me to let him spend $1.99 of his pocket-money to buy coins in an iPad game.
“It takes forever to get these coins when you’re playing,” he said, showing me the game. “I can spend $1.99 and get 800 coins, but only if I do it now! It’s 90% off, but the deal only lasts for 58 more minutes! Please, Mom?”
“Luca,” I said. “When a game tells you something is 90% off, that’s just marketing designed to make you want to spend money.”
“It’s working,” Luca said earnestly. “I do want to spend my money. And it’s my money.”
I sighed.
Luca’s request had come a few days after my husband and I opened a debit account for him and his older brother, Max, for their 9th and 11th birthdays, respectively.
“We told you your savings was your money,” I said to Luca. “But we also said we weren’t going to let you spend it on just anything, remember?”
“This is not just anything. It’s only $1.99 and I’ve been playing this game for weeks and this is the best deal I’ve ever seen. Ever.”
“OK,” I finally said. “This is a yes.”
I pressed my thumb on the sensor to authorize the purchase and a delighted Luca raced off to show Max, my ADHD-wired firstborn.
This, my friends, is when all the trouble really started.
The Big Business of In-App Purchases
Max quickly appeared to demand a similar purchase in a game. Eager to allow my boys to exercise their decision-making muscles, I said yes. So when the boys showed up repeatedly in the following days with additional purchase requests, I kept saying yes.
Two weeks later, both boys had spent more than $150. I was getting very worried. Though I tried to dissuade or delay them each time they came to me, their interest wasn’t waning, even as they burned through their savings. But while Luca’s spending eventually slowed, Max’s didn’t. If anything, he was picking up speed — requesting more expensive purchases, more frequently.
This was very out of character for Max, who had previously been resistant to spending any money — preferring instead to save it and plot about spending it on completely age-inappropriate things, like spear guns for fishing. After his first in-app purchase, it was shocking to see how quickly he transformed from miser to spendthrift.
When Max came to me for the second time in a single day requesting to spend another $26, I decided I wasn’t prepared to let him spend all his savings.
“I think we need a circuit breaker here — a pause,” I told Max. “I think that I should say ‘no’ to in-app purchases for the next week. What do you think?”
Unsurprisingly, Max did not think we needed a circuit breaker.
We settled on this: Max still had the choice to go through with this particular purchase (which he did) and then we would have a 10-day “no purchases” circuit-breaker.
That original circuit-breaker temporarily slowed things down, but it did not completely quell his willingness to spend money.
I know our family is far from alone in these struggles. In moderation, in-app purchases can be an easy way to have a bit of fun in a game. But in-app purchasing has become a billion-dollar business. Many iPad games are sophisticated marketing machines that use gambling tactics and other predatory techniques to market directly to children. The dopamine rush of leveling up in a game after spending money is addictive and the consequences are profound. Some parents report that their kids have become secretive and deceitful — guessing or stealing passwords, using credit cards without permissions, resetting devices to restore permissions, and finding other workarounds that will enable them to keep clicking “purchase.” Our children with ADHD, who struggle with impulse control and regulation, are far less equipped to resist this powerful temptation.
So what can parents do? What do I recommend as a psychologist, as the mother of a demand-avoidant pre-teen with ADHD, and as someone who’s learned a lot about this the hard way in the last couple of years?
My first piece of advice: Keep this Pandora’s Box closed for as long as possible. If you haven’t yet started down this path, don’t.
Invest in games, gaming systems, and subscription services such as Apple Arcade that don’t offer in-app purchases and/or show ads. They are worth the money.
Make it a family norm early on that you don’t download games that offer in-app purchases.
If and when you do download a game that offers in-app purchases, make it clear that you will never authorize any in-app purchases for this game. Take it a step further and disable in-app purchases on your child’s device.
If you ever do decide to allow your child to make in-app purchases, have some discussions first:
1. Set clear limits – but expect boundary-pushing. Establish how much money they have available to spend and how quickly they can spend it. Even with these limits, brace for fallout, pleas, and arguments when their money runs out, and plan ahead for how you will respond to that fallout.
2. Express your wants. The day that Max came to me twice to make an in-app purchase, I told him I had two wants. “I want to allow you to make your own decisions,” I said. “And I want to help you make wise decisions and teach you how to resist the powerful desire to buy things.”
3. Teach your kid about marketingtactics such as price anchoring, charm pricing, and the scarcity effect. When they come to you about a purchase, challenge them to spot the marketing tactics being used on them.
4. Talk to your child about other dynamics that drive in-app purchasing, such as chasing the dopamine buzz, the social pressure of keeping up with friends, the desire to make progress fast in a game, and so on.
5. Talk to your child about their ADHD brain. They should understand that impulse control challenges come with the territory, which makes it especially hard to resist the temptation to buy.
6. Invite your child to problem-solve when issues come up. Be open with your child about any concerning patterns or behaviors you’ve noticed regarding in-app purchases. Ask for their input as you find a viable way forward.
7. Experiment with different approaches and solutions to limit in-app purchases. Some ideas to get you started:
X-day/week blackout periods
weekly or monthly spending limits
waiting periods for spending (e.g., wait 24 hours before making an in-app purchase)
written agreements that include consequences for circumventing the rules
8. Don’t be afraid to feel your way forward. Just because you’ve agreed to a measure doesn’t mean that you will do things this way and forevermore. In fact, don’t expect any solutions you negotiate to hold for longer than a couple of months. Expecting to revisit this issue regularly will help you be more patient and feel less frustrated.
The other day, I asked Max for advice he thought I should give other parents who are in this situation. “Just say no, and NEVER SAY YES,” he responded. “Basically, be way stricter with them than you’ve been with us.”
“But what about families like ours where we’ve already said yes sometimes?” I said. “What can you do then?”
“Well,” Max said, getting more creative. “Tell your kids that the currency for the game has changed, and you can’t get any of that new currency. So, it’s broken. You just can’t do it.”
“So… lie?” I asked. “Yes,” Max said. “Lie.”
In moments when we may be tempted to lie to our kids, I often wish we had in-parenting purchase options — for upgrading patience, boosting problem-solving skills, or short-circuiting conflicts. Alas, the game we’re playing as parents is a no-shortcuts quest.
In App Purchases: Next Steps
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Just days after multiple states sued TikTok for allegedly designing the app to addict children, new details have emerged about how they say the company does it. Jo Ling Kent reports.
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The Buchinger-modified fasting program is put to the test.
A century ago, fasting—“starvation, as a therapeutic measure”—was described as “the ideal measure for the human hog…” (Fat shaming is not a new invention in the medical literature.) I’ve covered fasting for weight loss extensively in a nine-video series, but what about all the other purported benefits? I also have a video series on fasting for hypertension, but what about psoriasis, eczema, type 2 diabetes, lupus, metabolic disorder, rheumatoid arthritis, other autoimmune disorders, depression, and anxiety? Why hasn’t it been tested more?
One difficulty with fasting research is: What do you mean by fasting? When I think of fasting, I think of water-only fasting, but, in Europe, they tend to practice “modified therapeutic fasting,” also known as Buchinger fasting, which is more like a very low-calorie juice fasting with some vegetable broth. Some forms of fasting may not even cut calories at all. As you can see below and at 1:09 in my video The World’s Largest Fasting Study, Ramadan fasting, for example, is when devout Muslims abstain from food and drink from sunrise to sunset, yet, interestingly, they end up eating the same amount—or even more food—overall.
The largest study on fasting to date was published in 2019. More than a thousand individuals were put through a modified fast, cutting daily intake down to about ten cups of water, a cup of fruit juice, and a cup of vegetable soup. They reported very few side effects. In contrast, the latest water-only fasting data from a study that involved half as many people reported nearly 6,000 adverse effects. Now, the modified fasting study did seem to try to undercount adverse effects by only counting reported symptoms if they were repeated three times. However, adverse effects like nausea, feeling faint, upset stomach, vomiting, or palpitations were “observed only in single cases,” whereas the water-only fasting study reported about 100 to 200 of each, as you can see below and at 2:05 in my video. What about the benefits though?
In the modified fasting study, participants self-reported improvements in physical and emotional well-being, along with a surprising lack of hunger. What’s more, the vast majority of those who came in with a pre-existing health complaint reported feeling better, with less than 10 percent stating that their condition worsened, as you can see in the graph below and at 2:24 in my video.
However, the study participants didn’t just fast; they also engaged in a lifestyle program, which included being on a plant-based diet before and after the modified fast. If only the researchers had had some study participants follow the healthier, plant-based diet without the fast to tease out fasting’s effects. Oh, but they did! About a thousand individuals fasted for a week on the same juice and vegetable soup regimen and others followed a normocaloric (normal calorie) vegetarian diet.
As you can see below and at 2:54 in my video, both groups experienced significant increases in both physical and mental quality of life, and, interestingly, there was no significant difference between the groups.
In terms of their major health complaints—including rheumatoid arthritis; chronic pain syndromes, like osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, and back pain; inflammatory and irritable bowel disease; chronic pulmonary diseases; and migraine and chronic tension-type headaches—the fasting group appeared to have an edge, but both groups did well, with about 80 percent reporting improvements in their condition and only about 4 percent reporting feeling worse, as you can see below and at 3:25 in my video.
Now, this was not a randomized study; people chose which treatment they wanted to follow. So, maybe, for example, those choosing fasting were sicker or something. Also, the improvements in quality of life and disease status were all subjective self-reporting, which is ripe for placebo effects. There was no do-nothing control group, and the response rates to the follow-up quality of life surveys were only about 60 to 70 percent, which also could have biased the results. But extended benefits are certainly possible, given they all tended to improve their diets, as you can see below and at 4:00 in my video.
They ate more fruits and vegetables, and less meats and sweets, and therein may lie the secret. “Principally, the experience of fasting may support motivation for lifestyle change. Most fasters experience clarity of mind and feel a ‘letting go’ of past actions and experiences and thus may develop a more positive attitude toward the future.”
As a consensus panel of fasting experts concluded, “Nutritional therapy (theory and practice) is a vital and integral component of fasting. After the fasting therapy and refeeding period, nutrition should follow the recommendations/concepts of a…plant-based whole-food diet…”
The following is a personal essay, and not a medical recommendation endorsed by ADDitude. For more information about treatment, speak with your physician.
Since October 2022, thousands of individuals with ADHD have faced immense difficulty accessing prescribed stimulant medication – the treatment they need to function and lead healthy lives. No relief is in sight.
Make no mistake that the reason for the ongoing stimulant shortage has much to do with how stimulant medication itself is viewed. After all, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) classifies stimulants as Schedule II drugs for their “high potential for abuse” and sets national drug quotas for these substances based on that classification.12 This drug quota is, arguably, a major factor driving the shortage.3
Like many psychiatrists, I have taken the Schedule II classification of stimulants at face value for most of my career. Prescription stimulants are Schedule II, so they must be very addictive. How do I know? Because they are Schedule II.
This circular thinking has stopped me – and likely others – from noticing the mismatch between this classification and what I observe clinically. And while it may seem like the Schedule II classification is set in stone, it isn’t. In fact, the Controlled Substances Act specifically states that organizations, or even individuals, may petition the DEA to reclassify a substance.4 Shouldn’t we at least question whether these medications belong in Schedule II?
Controlled Substances: What We Get Wrong About Stimulants for ADHD
The DEA classifies drugs into five distinct categories depending upon their medical use and potential for abuse or dependency. Schedule V drugs have the lowest potential for abuse, while Schedule I drugs have a high potential for abuse and no current accepted medical use.
While working as a community psychiatrist, I used to brace myself for the bad outcomes from prescription stimulants. After all, as Schedule II drugs, they sit way up in the DEA’s scale. But what I found was that carefully prescribed stimulants rarely caused issues, whereas other drugs deemed “safer” often did.
Take benzodiazepines, drugs that are used to treat conditions like anxiety and insomnia. With benzodiazepines, tolerance and dependence are common, the withdrawal syndrome is serious, and overdoses can be lethal, especially when combined with opioids. When used long-term, the taper can be rocky and often requires several months to complete.
Comparatively, standard prescription stimulant treatment has minor problems. Withdrawal syndromes are rare and brief. While I have seen occasional misuse, I haven’t seen prescription stimulant overdoses or use disorders. Rather, I’ve seen people gain control of their lives. They graduate college, they hold jobs, and their relationships improve. Early refill requests are rare.
People who are prescribed scheduled benzodiazepines rarely miss a dose and need no reminders. Most of my patients with ADHD, however, struggle to take medications every day and may forget to fill their medications on time.
The stark difference in adherence between benzodiazepines and prescription stimulants likely reflects two things: the symptoms of ADHD itself and the fact that stimulant medications, when taken as prescribed, are much less reinforcing compared to benzodiazepines.
Just ask any child who takes Quillivant, a banana-flavored liquid form of methylphenidate, if they want their morning dose. Many will run, far. Beer and coffee are acquired tastes because the brain pairs their flavors with the good feeling that follows consumption. The ‘drug liking’ effect of alcohol and caffeine reinforces a desire for the taste — a phenomenon that hardly occurs when taking stimulants as prescribed for ADHD. Coffee and alcohol, despite their abuse potential and widespread use, are freely available to most of the public.
Benzodiazepines, for all their dangers, are Schedule IV. Meanwhile, prescription stimulants sit in the Schedule II Hall of Shame, along with fentanyl. Yes, fentanyl – a substance 50 times more potent than heroin and responsible for a majority of the thousands of overdose deaths in the United States in 2023.56 Surely, there must be a classification error here, right?
National overdose deaths involving prescription stimulants is difficult to track because of a coding issue that lumps prescription stimulants with illicit methamphetamines. Fortunately, one study separated the two by looking at substance-related death certificates from 2010 to 2017. Of the 1.2 million total deaths that involved substances, only 0.7% involved prescription stimulants, often used in combination with other substances. Methylphenidate-related deaths accounted for .02% (295) of all substance use-related deaths, or an average of 37 deaths per year. Compared to methylphenidate, there were twice as many deaths involving pseudoephedrine (615), which does not require a prescription, and 160 times more illicit methamphetamine-related deaths (49,602).7
Stimulants Are Safe – and Life-Saving – When Used as Prescribed
The sparsity of stimulant prescription-related deaths may reflect their essential role in treatment. ADHD is associated with greater risk for accidents, injury, premature death, and suicide.8 Multiple studies suggest that treatment with prescription stimulants may lower the risk of these adverse and deadly events.8-11
Unfortunately, the serious risks of illicit methamphetamine use can drive stigma and fear toward prescription stimulants. Many people with ADHD may be hesitant to start stimulants for concerns about heart problems and addiction. While illicit methamphetamine does cause major heart problems and is highly addictive, appropriate prescription stimulant treatment does not carry this risk.12,13 Even in overdose, major cardiovascular events are rare.14 Multiple studies also show that prescription stimulant treatment for ADHD does not increase the risk of developing a substance use disorder (SUD) and may even have a protective effect.15,16
Importantly, there are situations, namely non-oral misuse (e.g., snorting, smoking, or injecting), where prescription stimulants do have high potential for abuse. These routes allow stimulants to enter the brain rapidly and cause a rapid spike in dopamine. The faster and bigger the spike, the more intense the “high” or “drug liking” effect that will reinforce use. Oral routes, on the other hand, more slowly deliver drugs to the brain. This is partly why stimulants, when taken as prescribed, hold a much lower addiction potential.17
Most people with ADHD will never snort or inject their medications. People without ADHD usually won’t, either. Indeed, the Schedule II classification appears to be on behalf of a subset of people, with and without ADHD, who use stimulant medications non-orally. Arguably, a more tailored way to protect this group may lie on the diagnostic side — by taking a careful history, requiring drug screens in adolescents and young adults, and considering non-stimulants when the risks are too high. Many youth will also welcome a matter-of-fact discussion on substance use and harm reduction.
On Stimulant Misuse
A more common issue is oral prescription stimulant misuse — that is, taking someone else’s medication or too much of your own. A 2022 survey showed that 15% of college students reported taking someone else’s prescription stimulant at least once in their lifetime, but most did so less than once a month. Only 0.1% of students reported misusing prescription stimulants more than four times per month.18
Most college students report misusing prescription stimulants for perceived performance enhancement.19 The misuse pattern does not tend to escalate and is lower-risk in nature. This is likely because most students who misuse will only do so orally, which is much less addictive, and they are not using to get high. Some of this misuse may also be an effort to self-medicate. A 2010 study showed that prescription stimulant misusers were seven times more likely to screen positive for ADHD compared to non-misusing students.20
To be clear, it is still a bad idea to misuse prescription stimulants. While the health risks do not appear to warrant schedule II classification, that does not mean “risk free.” All prescription medications carry risks, and risks can vary based on factors like dose, route, and the individual. What is safe for one person can be dangerous for another. For instance, someone with bipolar disorder can become manic from a prescription stimulant. Someone who regularly uses illicit methamphetamine may tolerate high doses of prescription stimulants whereas someone else may become agitated, psychotic or go into renal failure at a much lower dose.14
For those at higher risk for prescription pill misuse, there are also long-acting formulations that were designed to prevent non-oral use. For instance, Concerta (methylphenidate ER) has a hard outer coating that is very difficult to crush.21 This will deter most people. In addition, when studied in a group of adolescents with ADHD and an SUD, Concerta rated only one point higher than placebo in “drug-liking” effect.22
Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine) is another long-acting formulation that deters abuse. Vyvanse comes as an inactive prodrug and won’t activate until it is converted by an enzyme in the bloodstream. Even if someone snorts or injects it, it will still need to be converted to an active form in the body and will not produce a more rapid effect. Two “drug-liking” studies also suggest lower abuse potential with IV doses not differing from placebo.2324 While a supratherapeutic oral dose had some “liking,” it also measured higher on “drug-disliking.”24
Reclassifying prescription stimulants to a lower tier would more accurately reflect real-world data on addictive potential, health risk, and their public health benefit. Still, any reclassification to a lower tier carries the risk of fueling misconceptions about safety. Some may mistake reclassification as a green light to misuse. Misconceptions on safety may also drive the purchase of counterfeit pills. Make no mistake: Counterfeit prescription stimulants – which can be easily purchased online – kill people. These fake pills are made to look just like real prescription stimulants, but instead contain illicit methamphetamine and/or fentanyl, in unpredictable amounts. Taking even one counterfeit pill can be lethal.25
Prescription stimulant misuse, as a whole, is a problem that deserves our attention. Targeted education needs to occur at the individual, family and school levels. This may include dispelling myths on cognitive enhancement, emphasizing the higher risk with non-oral use, and increasing awareness on counterfeit pills. When young people are taught the actual risks and realities of the current drug landscape, they are given a chance to make safer choices. This strategy is rooted in connecting with at-risk youth and can happen without interfering with the treatment of people with ADHD.
Schedule II Drugs: The Case for Reclassifying Stimulant Medication
Ensuring access to stimulant treatment is essential to the lives of millions of people with ADHD, and it benefits the public at large. While there is widespread oral misuse, the use does not tend to escalate. Non-oral use is higher risk, but less common and rarely fatal, making prescription stimulants an outlier in the Schedule II class.
Prescription stimulants are long overdue for reclassification. For those still on the fence, here is a more conservative approach: Start with rescheduling medications that have abuse-deterring properties, such as Concerta, Vyvanse, and their generic equivalents. By releasing these medications from the chains of Schedule II, more people with ADHD can live their lives.
Do you think prescription stimulants should be reclassified? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
Schedule 2 Drugs and Stimulants: Next Steps
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It’s not exactly a secret that vegetable oils aren’t the best type of oil for us to consume. They’re loaded with saturated fats, and they lack the redemptive omega-3 fatty acids in other oils that are actually good for us. And in the case of soybean oil, it may cause changes in the brain that affect conditions like autism, Alzheimer’s, anxiety, and depression.
Less than 10 days after Hurricane Helene made landfall in Florida, the state is bracing for another potentially devastating blow from a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico.
Tropical Storm Milton formed in the western Gulf on Saturday morning just hours after it became a tropical depression, the National Hurricane Center said in a special alert. The 13th named storm, which uses the letter M, is running ahead of pace – it doesn’t usually occur until October 25.
Milton is forecast to strengthen and bring life-threatening impacts to portions of the west coast of Florida next week.
The storm is expected to “quickly intensify while it moves eastward to northeastward across the Gulf of Mexico and be at or near major hurricane strength when it reaches the west coast of the Florida Peninsula mid week,” the hurricane center said. As of Saturday afternoon, it is expected to make landfall in Florida as at least a Category 2 hurricane.
Hurricane watches, as well as storm surge watches, will likely be issued for portions of the Florida coast on Sunday – a dangerous storm surge is expected for some areas that were just affected by Helene.
“Regardless of development, locally heavy rains could occur over portions of Mexico during the next day or two, and over much of Florida late this weekend through the middle of next week,” the NHC said.
The storm threat comes after Helene made landfall September 26 on Florida’s Big Bend as a Category 4 and created a 500-mile path of destruction with catastrophic flooding, damaging winds and power outages. Local authorities have reported more than 200 deaths across six states and fear that number could rise.
Helene was one of the largest storms the Gulf of Mexico has seen in the last century.
The latest storm forecast at this point calls for widespread totals of 4 to 6 inches of rain across almost the full length of the state, from Gainesville down through Key West, with isolated higher amounts up to 10 inches possible through Thursday. Tampa has already already seen more than 20 inches of rainfall above normal for the year. Cities like Melbourne, Jacksonville, Naples and Fort Myers all have more than a foot of surplus rainfall so far this year as well.
There is also an increasing risk of storm surge for the western Florida Peninsula as early as late Tuesday or Wednesday. Damaging winds, tornadoes and waterspouts will also be possible next week.
The hurricane center is warning people in Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula, the Florida Peninsula, the Florida Keys, as well as the Bahamas to closely monitor this system this weekend and early next week for any impacts.
Meanwhile, Hurricane Kirk remained a Category 4 major hurricane, and waves from the system were affecting the the Leeward Islands, Bermuda, and the Greater Antilles, forecasters said. The storm’s swells were expected to spread to the East Coast of the United States, the Atlantic Coast of Canada and the Bahamas on Saturday night and Sunday.
Forecasters warned the waves could cause life-threatening surf and rip current conditions.
Kirk was expected to weaken starting Saturday, the center said.
Though there were no coastal warnings or watches in effect for Kirk, the center said those in the Azores, where swells could hit Monday, should monitor the storm’s progress.
Kirk was about 975 miles (1,570 kilometers) east-northeast of the northern Leeward Islands with maximum sustained winds of 130 mph (209 kph).
(The-CNN-Wire & 2024 Cable News Network, Inc., a Time Warner Company. All rights reserved.)
Less than 10 days after Hurricane Helene made landfall in Florida, the state is bracing for another potentially devastating blow from a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico.
Tropical Storm Milton formed in the western Gulf on Saturday morning just hours after it became a tropical depression, the National Hurricane Center said in a special alert. The 13th named storm, which uses the letter M, is running ahead of pace – it doesn’t usually occur until October 25.
Milton is forecast to strengthen and bring life-threatening impacts to portions of the west coast of Florida next week.
The storm is expected to “quickly intensify while it moves eastward to northeastward across the Gulf of Mexico and be at or near major hurricane strength when it reaches the west coast of the Florida Peninsula mid week,” the hurricane center said. As of Saturday afternoon, it is expected to make landfall in Florida as at least a Category 2 hurricane.
Hurricane watches, as well as storm surge watches, will likely be issued for portions of the Florida coast on Sunday – a dangerous storm surge is expected for some areas that were just affected by Helene.
“Regardless of development, locally heavy rains could occur over portions of Mexico during the next day or two, and over much of Florida late this weekend through the middle of next week,” the NHC said.
The storm threat comes after Helene made landfall September 26 on Florida’s Big Bend as a Category 4 and created a 500-mile path of destruction with catastrophic flooding, damaging winds and power outages. Local authorities have reported more than 200 deaths across six states and fear that number could rise.
Helene was one of the largest storms the Gulf of Mexico has seen in the last century.
The latest storm forecast at this point calls for widespread totals of 4 to 6 inches of rain across almost the full length of the state, from Gainesville down through Key West, with isolated higher amounts up to 10 inches possible through Thursday. Tampa has already already seen more than 20 inches of rainfall above normal for the year. Cities like Melbourne, Jacksonville, Naples and Fort Myers all have more than a foot of surplus rainfall so far this year as well.
There is also an increasing risk of storm surge for the western Florida Peninsula as early as late Tuesday or Wednesday. Damaging winds, tornadoes and waterspouts will also be possible next week.
The hurricane center is warning people in Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula, the Florida Peninsula, the Florida Keys, as well as the Bahamas to closely monitor this system this weekend and early next week for any impacts.
Meanwhile, Hurricane Kirk remained a Category 4 major hurricane, and waves from the system were affecting the the Leeward Islands, Bermuda, and the Greater Antilles, forecasters said. The storm’s swells were expected to spread to the East Coast of the United States, the Atlantic Coast of Canada and the Bahamas on Saturday night and Sunday.
Forecasters warned the waves could cause life-threatening surf and rip current conditions.
Kirk was expected to weaken starting Saturday, the center said.
Though there were no coastal warnings or watches in effect for Kirk, the center said those in the Azores, where swells could hit Monday, should monitor the storm’s progress.
Kirk was about 975 miles (1,570 kilometers) east-northeast of the northern Leeward Islands with maximum sustained winds of 130 mph (209 kph).
(The-CNN-Wire & 2024 Cable News Network, Inc., a Time Warner Company. All rights reserved.)
My 9-year-old son has always been a firework, from the very second of his surprise existence. If my pregnancy test could have displayed two zigzags instead of straight lines, it would have.
He has never followed the path well-trodden. Instead, he has swung from the trees shadowing its path, spinning and tumbling over it like a Ferris wheel free from its hinges. His brain is always busy. It darts and daydreams and never tells him to sit, breathe, and just be.
“I was the same as him when I was a kid,” my husband would say. “He’s just a little boy.”
He often spoke of marked similarities between them, and we thought our son had simply inherited a huge slice of his father’s personality. That this was just “them.” So we attributed his behaviors to that – a child who was beautifully energetic. If he wasn’t spinning or cartwheeling, he was singing or asking questions or making funny little noises. The only time he really rested was when he slept, when dreams took over and his compulsion to “fizz,” as he calls it, quelled.
Father and Son: Drawing ADHD Parallels
Analyzing my child’s behavior, helicoptering his nuances and traits, and researching “ADHD in children” until there was nothing left to Google came easy. Turning the lens to my husband, on the other hand, was trickier.
My husband flitted from job to job, struggled to prioritize, became easily frustrated with any task, and was unfocused. But we had gone through a fair chunk of sadness in the last few years — the death of one of our other sons, the loss of parents, our 9-year-old’s meningitis battle when he was a baby. I put my husband’s erratic nature down to stress and trauma.
All the while, the phone calls from my son’s exasperated teacher mounted, as did the sense that my son’s behaviors in school and at home were indicative of something bigger.
My mother-in-law was a special education teacher for many years. The more I called her to analyze my little boy’s behavior, the more parallels she’d draw between him and my husband. Eventually, the constant joke that they were two peas in a pod became a lightbulb moment for me. I made an appointment with an ADHD specialist – for my son and husband. Sure enough, after a careful evaluation, the specialist diagnosed both of them with ADHD in the same appointment. Their test scores were practically identical, she noted.
Like Father, Like Son
“How do you feel?” the specialist asked my son. She sat next to him on the floor as he clicked LEGOs together and bounced on his knees.
“Exhausted” he said. And my heart sank. Exhausted by trying to concentrate in school and being told off constantly, exhausted by coming home to homework cajoling, exhausted for being reprimanded for his impatience and other behaviors at the outskirts of his control.
I saw my husband’s face crumble a little as he knew that feeling all too well. And I realized that, as a wife and mother, I had failed them. To me, their behaviors were annoying, frustrating, and sometimes inexplicable. I had often said to my son, “Why is it always you? Why are you the one who always gets into trouble?” I sometimes dreamed of an easier marriage to a man who would stick at a job or for a man who would actually listen to me. I had no idea what either of them were going through. It was an incredibly emotional day for everyone.
We walked out of the specialist’s room with a deeper understanding of each other and a feeling that we can all start to be our truer selves.
Our ADHD Family
We’ve only recently entered the neurodivergent universe. We’re perched on a circling satellite looking into a place where words like “disorder,” “impulsivity,” and “disorganization” zoom by. But it’s other zooming words that captivate us — “spontaneity,” “creativity,” “courage.” We are going to run with these as fast as we can.
We’re not alone in entering this universe. We see many other families embarking on this journey, too. Some days we think we have a firm grasp on ADHD – and some days we don’t. And that’s OK, because all we can do is buckle up so the twists and turns don’t jolt the ones we love quite so much.
I would not change my son or husband for anything. We’ll bundle up all of the positives and challenges, stick them into our family jetpack, and navigate the steps, bounces, stumbles, and freefalls of this shared diagnosis together.
ADHD Family Ties: Next Steps
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When I reveal that I have ADHD, I often hear about how “brave” I am for being so “open” and “vulnerable.” Granted, I like hearing that because I’m human and I like compliments. Plus, it’s better than fending off stereotypes about ADHD.
To be totally honest, though, I’m not telling you about my ADHD diagnosis to promote diversity, make you feel more comfortable confiding in me, or whatever other altruistic reason you’re thinking. I’m telling you as an act of self-preservation, often after days of deliberation over whether I will hurt or help my case. Disclosing my ADHD is a carefully calculated risk that’s more about substantive outcomes than feel-good moments.
Explaining ADHD to Someone Who Doesn’t Have It
Disclosing my ADHD is really about showing you the inner workings of my mind. My day-to-day life reminds me of my choir teacher’s advice for onstage performance: “Be like a duck: calm on top and paddling like crazy under the surface.” You can’t see my constant struggles to stay on top of employment, housework, and personal affairs; you can’t hear my every thought scream for my total attention as I fail to hold onto a single one; you certainly can’t feel the smaller effects of ADHD pile on top of each other to create a web of executive dysfunction.
No matter how calm I seem on the surface, underneath I am paddling through constant self-assessments and adjustments.
Without the context of a diagnosis, I’m a mess. I can’t get anywhere on time. My apartment is filled with projects that I dove into, lost interest in, and can’t bring myself to put away. Efforts to reach out are too easily put off and forgotten. And heaven help you if I’m having more trouble with my emotional regulation than usual.
So, in more casual settings, my telling you about my ADHD is to let you know that nothing’s personal. I didn’t show up 10 minutes late and yawn when you were talking because I hate you and want to disrespect your time. While you certainly have the right to boundaries and shouldn’t just put up with certain behaviors, you should also know that my shortcomings do not reflect how I view our relationship. And, hopefully, you don’t hate me as much after I’ve confided in you.
When Disclosing ADHD, Context Matters
From a professional perspective, my honesty about ADHD could mean the difference between remaining employed or yet another job hunt. I’m sure that never occurred to my managers as they went on about my courage and whatnot – that I had actual goals beyond reveling in feel-good honesty. Not that I would recommend that everyone with ADHD should disclose their diagnosis to employers. Most sources suggest not doing so, and for good reason.
Conscious and unconscious biases are inevitable, and anything that could make me stand out as a problem could also be my undoing. Though I have been open about my diagnosis and received ADA accommodations, I will always wonder if my managers are now keeping a closer eye on me for any slip-up that would go unnoticed if made by a co-worker.
Disclosing a diagnosis, especially one like ADHD that forces me to confront some of my deepest insecurities, is unpleasant at best. I don’t do it for fun. My decision to open up to you was difficult and ultimately made in hopes of some sort of action. Maybe that’s just a bit of patience, or some help navigating a world that was not designed for me.
I trust you enough to give you a chance to understand me better, and, in turn, learn how we can grow together. Please take that chance.
Explaining ADHD: Next Steps
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To live with unmanaged ADHD is to face chaotic fires that threaten to burn our sense of self-efficacy and damage our connection with loved ones, and which we spend so much energy trying to extinguish.
But what we often fail to consider is how these fires are sparked.
Before the consequence of unmanaged ADHD blows up in our faces, there is a long progression of unnoticed action that gradually stokes such a blaze. Unchecked ADHD, then, is more of a slow, silent, invisible flame that heats and bubbles under the surface. Everything may appear smooth on the surface, but the hushed activity below tells a different story.
This quiet simmer is a vast collection of kindling – of distractions, impulsive actions, lack of initiation, and other issues that eventually spark and rage into an inferno — a missed deadline, a failed relationship, a lost job, a failed class. To the person with ADHD, simmers are so easy to ignore or miss altogether. Fires are undeniable.
When the fire erupts, everybody runs wild in a panic, which increases our chances of acting upon the situation. The crisis revs up the brain chemistry that provokes fear, which makes us move and do. We run around in circles trying to extinguish the awful thing, engaging serious damage control. This usually includes saying we’re desperately sorry, groaning to ourselves that yet again we’ve screwed up. Sometimes we hide under a rock.
This is one reason why ADHD is so hard for the larger community to accept. “How can you act like this sometimes but not all the time?” If we were blind, we wouldn’t see some of the time. The consensus among all affected by our fires — parents, teachers, spouses, friends, bosses — is that to prevent the next one, we must remain in freak-out mode because that’s the only thing that will keep us in check.
The problem, of course, was never the raging fire. That was only the most obvious consequence of the slow-burn of hundreds of small decisions prior to it, when we decided to do the wrong thing at the wrong time, one on top of the other. That is at the heart of what it means to suffer and struggle with ADHD.
Living with ADHD: The Importance of Self-Awareness
The work of preventing these self-defeating fires is more subtle and consistent than a handful of panic episodes, and more fine-tuned to the specific issue with which we struggle. The solution rests on one thing and one thing only: Self-awareness. You can’t change what you don’t see.
It’s hard to learn how to become aware of those subtle, quiet seconds of mis-decision, especially when there’s panic in the room. Awareness is a quieter practice. It prefers to act on a stage of self-compassion, self-honesty, and wanting to change. It involves figuring out how we’re going to help ourselves to notice in the first place. But how do we build awareness when the landscape seems so unknowable, so unmapped?
When people run from fires, nobody slows down to map the area. Self-awareness happens when we have extra bandwidth to catch ourselves deciding to do the wrong thing at the wrong time. These are those classic moments when we decide “just for now” not to study, or when we “just have to” blurt out a secret, or when we decide we’ll put away our coat or the dinner plate “later.”
It’s true that negative reinforcers are so enticing, and we’ve used them since we were kids. But wouldn’t it be amazing if we could notice when we do the wrong thing at the wrong time without the fire department having to clang its bell next to our ears? That fire department – us or others – works great for fires, but not for lasting, inspired, intentional human change.
How to Build ADHD Self-Awareness
So, how do we build awareness around the decisions we make, especially when they seem to happen reflexively in the background? Bring to the fore in detail an understanding of what happens at the precise moment when we make these decisions. What is the setting? What are we doing? What else is going on? What do we choose to do instead? When will this most likely happen again?
These are the kinds of things we talk about in ADHD coaching, but none of us live in a coaching call forever. These are the tricks and skills we can learn and develop. Learning to become aware might involve visualizing, talking it over with someone or with ourselves, and then asking curious questions about how to put into place support systems to help us pivot and make optimal decisions. The support options are plentiful. It all rests first on building awareness around how ADHD shows up in us.
Then it’s practicing and tweaking so there are fewer, less intense fires — or maybe no flames at all.
How to Be More Self-Aware with ADHD: Next Steps
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A few years ago, I was sitting in an office at Velcro International. They needed a creative ad that would persuade their customers to stop calling their product Velcro.
Yes, you read that right.
I learned the product they sell is actually called Hook and Loop, not Velcro. If people kept calling their product Velcro, they could potentially lose their trademark. So they needed to reach millions of people with this habit-breaking message.
After dropping this bombshell, the executives talked for another 15 minutes about legal ramifications, but I was ZONED out. I know that’s a bad thing most of the time, but for my ADHD brain, it was amazing. My wandering went something like this.
Wait, how funny would it be to write an ad that begs people not to call Velcro “Velcro?”
This is a multi-billion-dollar company. We can’t have its lawyers in a stuffy office doing this ad.
This seems like a pretty ridiculous problem. What if we acted like it was a serious problem?
Oh my gosh, remember “We Are the World?” Everyone was so serious, you know, because it was about starvation in Africa. But what if we did an ad with that vibe, but about something that is clearly a first-world problem?
These lawyers could be making fun of themselves. They could be aware that this is, in fact, a ridiculous thing to ask people!
Ooooh, we could use real lawyers!
Oh boy, here come the lyrics….
It was like a brainstorm session inside my own head.
I am very lucky to have co-workers who have seen this happen to me. They explained to the nice lawyers that I had something cooking, so it didn’t seem rude.
LIVE WEBINAR WITH KIM & PENN HOLDERNESS Register for this free webinar on Tuesday, October 1, and get an opportunity to ask your questions to Kim & Penn Holderness live. Plus, get the replay link to share.
Before I got back to my office, the song was already written in my head. Here’s the final product. (Parental alert: There are some bleeped-out potty words so watch before showing your kids!)
It went viral and got tens of millions of views worldwide.
Still, I know you are probably thinking, “C’mon, Penn. Are you telling me that SPACING OUT sparked the flame of this very good thing?”
Yes, I am. Allow me to explain.
My favorite ADHD doctors are the ones who use creative metaphors to teach me more about my brain. It helps me truly “see” my ADHD. It’s also a fantastic way to explain ADHD to kids.
The Velvet Rope Metaphor
One of my favorite metaphors comes from Dr. Marcy Caldwell of ADDept.org. She was helping me understand how my brain works compared to the neurotypical brain. According to Dr. Caldwell, the neurotypical brain is like a VIP Club with a velvet rope and a bouncer. The bouncer does a great job making sure only elites gain access to the club, while carefully keeping out “less important” partygoers who don’t have a pass. The inside of the club is orderly, a little quieter, and much less cluttered.
The ADHD brain? Well, that is more like Coachella, and everyone gets in! There are countless different sights and noises. Laser lights and fog machines. You can feel the wind and the weather. Sometimes it rains. There are conversations all over the place. You can see, hear, and feel it all; your attention is pulled in countless directions.
Our ADHD brains can eventually learn to put up a velvet rope and a bouncer, but it’s not our default mode; it takes real work.
VIP Club vs Outdoor Festival
When it comes to trying to make breakfast, complete a job, or get through school, the VIP club sounds much better, right? That’s the battle we ADHDers fight every day; we try to get our brains out of the open air and into a room with more order.
But…. and it is a pretty big but… (it’s okay if you just laughed reading “pretty big but”) that Outdoor Festival is the perfect breeding ground for one of the most important qualities a human being can ever have: CREATIVITY.
When your brain feels, sees, and smells everything, it is more likely than the neurotypical brain to notice something no one has ever noticed before. It is more likely to go down a rabbit hole and discover a new path. It’s more likely to see something in a way no one has ever seen it.
Biographers speculated that Thomas Edison, one of the greatest creators of all time, had ADHD. Possibilities came to his Open-Air Brain and he was able to harness them by giving us light (yes, literally invented the lightbulb), sound (invented the phonograph), and sight (yep, the camera too!) He struggled just like we do.
According to thomasedison.com; At age seven – after spending 12 weeks in a noisy one-room schoolhouse with 38 other students of all ages – Tom’s overworked and short-tempered teacher finally lost his patience with the child’s persistent questioning and seemingly self-centered behavior.
Sound familiar? Yeah, schools are mostly VIP Clubs, not Outdoor Festivals or Open-Air Concerts. You may not be Thomas Edison yet, but that same creativity lives within you.
My Open-Air Brain
My Open-Air Brain finds creativity through music. I studied music theory at a very early age, to the point that it became a second language for me.
I stopped learning after two years because my Open-Air Brain was much less interested in being Rachmaninoff and more interested in the brand-new notes, chords, and lyrics popping up in my head. I wasn’t writing Shakespeare; just lines documenting the countless things going on in my world, and in my family. Now just about everything I experience plays like a song in my head.
In the case of the Velcro ad, that Open-Air Brain quickly gave me access to a catalog of every melodramatic music video I’ve ever heard, every lawyer stereotype I’ve ever had, and every funny meme about first-world problems I’ve ever shared. All those ideas were welcome to the party.
Of course, there are times that this is frustrating – it can be hard listening to someone if the story they are telling is turning into a song. I’ve had to do some really hard work to find a VIP bouncer when what a person is saying is important, and I care about that person and their feelings.
But when there’s nothing else going on, no work to do, and no conversations to have, my mind wanders back to that Open-Air Concert. It happens on walks, at night before bed, in the shower, and sometimes in the middle of the day when I have a minute to just sit and let it happen.
Your Open-Air Concert isn’t just a distraction; it could be the key to your success. Now, we don’t have an excuse to get lost in thought all the time; we need to be respectful of our parents, friends, and teachers, and do the best we can to hear what they have to say. But don’t ever discount those wonderfully bizarrely random thoughts coming into your head. Those thoughts are yours and yours alone, they are enormously creative, and believe it or not, they could change the world one day.
The Creative ADHD Brain: Next Steps
SUPPORT ADDITUDE Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
Dogs are as prone to stress, anxiety and depression as we are. Knowing how and why these issues manifest, and the differences between them, will help you better understand your dog’s behavior.
Stress, anxiety and depression are common mental health problems among humans. They can also affect our dogs. When it comes to our canine companions, however, it can be challenging to know exactly how they are feeling, and what their behavior might be signaling. Because your dog can’t tell you he’s stressed, anxious or depressed, you have to rely on other means to figure out what’s going on. For example, does a stressed or anxious dog behave the same way as a depressed dog? How do you tell the difference? Read on to see what Dr. Nicholas Dodman, BVMS, DACVA, DACVB, and CEO of the non-profit Center for Canine Behavior Studies, has to say on this topic.
Q: CAN DOGS EXPERIENCE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION THE WAY HUMANS DO?
A: A 2019 study entitled “Demographics and Comorbidity of Behavior Problems in Dogs” involved 4,114 dogs, 85% of which were exhibiting behavior problems. Almost half of those dogs (44%) were considered by their families to be fearful or anxious.
The contexts in which dogs express anxiety are similar to those that elicit anxiety in people, and may be related to animate, inanimate, or situational cues.
Signs of anxiety in dogs include panting, pacing, vocalizing, salivating, hiding, acting out, and autonomic nervous system signs such as dilated pupils, increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and inappropriate elimination.
Depression is a distinct condition, but may be triggered by anxiety disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, or separation anxiety. Depression can occur in dogs that find themselves in an unresolvable situation, such as bereavement following the loss of a closely-bonded human or canine friend, or the inability to avoid some inescapable ongoing pernicious experience. The latter is often termed “learned helplessness.”
Q: CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE CHEMISTRY OF A DOG’S NERVOUS SYSTEM IN A STATE OF ANXIETY?
A: Anxiety occurs when the emotional brain overpowers the cognitive brain, so instead of being able to reason their way out of a disturbing situation, dogs find themselves in an uncontrollable feedback loop of negative feelings and sensations.
The emotional brain is the more primitive region of the brain, and is located in the temporal lobe, specifically the limbic system. The amygdala is part of the limbic system, and is instrumental in promoting feelings of anxiety.
Several neurotransmitters play a role in modulating anxiety, including norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine, and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA).
Q: ARE DEPRESSION AND STRESS LINKED IN DOGS, AND CAN DOGS EXPERIENCE BOTH AT THE SAME TIME? HOW DO THEY DIFFER WHEN IT COMES TO SYMPTOMS?
A: The effects of stress and depression are similar in both humans and dogs. There are several levels of stress, ranging from mild to severe, and the results are various degrees of nervousness, anxiety, irritability, and even repetitive, self- soothing behaviors.
The effects of chronic or long-term stress may lead to depression, a mood disorder that makes dogs appear sad and disinterested in things they would normally enjoy. Depression also affects appetite and sleep habits, and causes a lack of energy, enthusiasm, and motivation.
Q: WHAT TYPES OF SITUATIONS TRIGGER THESE PROBLEMS?
A: Stress can be triggered by a number of different events and circumstances. It may be short-lived or ongoing, depending on the cause. A change in family (“pack”) structure or a geographic move may cause stress in sensitive dogs. Certain individuals seem more prone to stressful situations while others are more resilient.
Other causes of stress include loud noises (e.g. weather events or a nearby shooting range), inconsistent interactions from the dog’s human, and separation from loved ones. Extremely sensitive dogs with separation-induced stress may lapse into depression and become withdrawn, inactive, and totally inappetant — another example of learned helplessness.
Q: WHAT BEHAVIORAL TREATMENTS CAN COMBAT ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IN DOGS?
A: Eliminating the source of anxiety is key, and may include not leaving the dog alone for extended periods, or removing them from the anxiety-inducing situation. In the case of depression, changing a sad circumstances can be helpful — for example, getting a new puppy as a friend for a dog depressed by bereavement.
General background measures that are likely to quell both stress and anxiety as well as depression include increased exercise (which generates mood-stabilizing serotonin), arranging for pleasurable distractions, and giving the dog consistent care and support.
Q: HOW DO PLAY AND CANINE FRIENDS AT THE DOG PARK AFFECT ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION?
A: Playing with another canine encourages anxious or depressed dogs to come out of their shells, and is generally beneficial, if the depressed dog can be induced to play.
However, dog parks are a mixed bag when it comes to reducing anxiety and depression. Some anxious dogs that previously loved spending time with canine friends at the dog park may find the experience helpful. On the other hand, some don’t enjoy the rowdiness of dog parks and may slink off to the side or even hide under a bench. In this case, especially if anxiety is somehow linked to experiences at the dog park, it is better to arrange play with a trusted canine friend at home in the yard, or some other relatively secluded location.
Q: WHY IS EDUCATION KEY TO LIVING IN HARMONY WITH OUR DOGS?
A: While dogs and humans are separate species with somewhat different biological agendas, we have shared emotions, and there is considerable overlap in much of our mutual understanding of the world around us. Claiming that “dogs are people” is a step too far; on the other hand, assuming dogs are emotionless automatons is a mistake in the opposite direction. This means learning how our dogs think, and what they are or aren’t capable of, is invaluable.
For the overly anthropomorphic, realizing that dogs are dogs and not furry people can help adjust their expectations and behavior in a dog-centric way. For people with less appreciation for canine emotions and sentience, education will improve the way they perceive their canine companions, and thus improve their interactions and behavior toward their four-legged friends.
Q: WHERE SHOULD PEOPLE SEEK HELP FOR DOGS WITH STRESS OR DEPRESSION?
A: Help is available in the form of trainers, non-veterinary behaviorists, and veterinary behaviorists. Trainers are equivalent to human family counsellors; non-veterinary behaviorists are the canine psychologists; and veterinary behaviorists are the dog psychiatrists, who can diagnose and medically treat really serious behavior problems.
Specialists who are qualified in these areas, as opposed to being self-professed, are clearly a cut above. If a trainer or non-veterinary behaviorist cannot fix a problem, then a local vet should be the next port of call because 15% of dogs with intractable behavior problems have been shown to have some contributory or causative medical issue. Veterinary behaviorists can be more challenging to access because there aren’t as many of them, and they’re geographically remote from many dog parents.
Q: WHAT ARE THE LONG-TERM EFFECTS OF STRESS, AND WHAT HAPPENS IF IT’S NOT TREATED?
A: Long-term stress is associated with a number of physical issues, many mediated by elevated blood levels of the steroid hormone, cortisol. Chronic cortisol elevation depresses immune function, increasing susceptibility to infections and cancer.
Catecholamines such as epinephrine (adrenaline) are also chronically elevated by stress, raising blood pressure and causing negative effects such as increased susceptibility to stroke and deteriorating heart function. Digestive issues are also common because of alterations in the blood-gut axis. If untreated, chronic stress can shorten a dog’s life due to any of the above conditions.
Q: HOW CAN WE REDUCE STRESS, ANXIETY, AND DEPRESSION IN OUR DOGS? WHAT ABOUT SHELTER DOGS THAT MAY HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO UNFAVORABLE ENVIRONMENTS?
A: Socialization with people and other dogs is the most important thing a new puppy parent can do. Socialization in early life prevents the development of serious issues such as fear aggression, and equips a dog to be more confident and well-balanced as an adult.
Exposure to sights and sounds is also important to prevent negative reactions to events they will experience as adult dogs. The most sensitive period for such learning is the first three to four months of a puppy’s life.
Of course, this is not possible with shelter dogs adopted later in life. Their early experiences are something of a black box and may have been either good or deficient. All one can do under these circumstances is to work with any shortcomings that become evident, with professional help if necessary. For adult dogs, daily exercise and an enriched environment for mental stimulation are essential for continued health and well-being, and to prevent the stress of loneliness and boredom.
Educating yourself on how and why stress, anxiety and depression manifest in dogs will deepen your understanding of your canine companion while strengthening your bond. It also puts you in a much better position to help him when his behavior suggests his mental/emotional health isn’t up to par.
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Claudia Bensimoun is a freelance writer in West Palm Beach who specializes in writing about dogs and horses.
When my husband and I published a book called ADHD is Awesome we knew we’d have some explaining to do. After all, so much of ADHD is not… awesome. We used the word for its true meaning. Though it’s a writing style cliché to kick off with a definition, I think it’s important here:
Awesome — Adjective — Extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.
It’s safe to say our kids get daily reminders of how much ADHD just plain sucks. The world wasn’t built for their unique brains, which are forced to remain still and focused in long classes, amid constant distractions, and often despite unrealistic expectations from teachers and us, their parents. You don’t need to read one more thing about how hard it is to have ADHD, so I’m here to offer ways to shine a spotlight on the pure sunshine that can spark from an ADHD brain.
Just a reminder: I’m not a doctor or a therapist. Our family is like the lab rat that has undergone rounds of testing. Here are the ways we’ve helped our son find the awesomeness in ADHD:
1. Tell Them What ADHD Is Not
ADHD is not a deficit of attention. In fact, people with ADHD have an abundance of attention and sometimes struggle with how to use it. ADHD is not a shortcoming or a choice. It’s not a result of bad parenting. It’s not a fad or trend. ADHD is a collection of symptoms that vary in every single person.
In our house, ADHD is the explanation but not the excuse. My husband forgot to put his shoes on when going to pick up our carry-out dinner order. He was on a phone call as he walked out the door and I yelled after him to pick up some garbage bags while he was out. He struggles to prioritize and his system gets easily overwhelmed, so he wasn’t even aware he was walking out of the house barefoot. It’s the explanation but he doesn’t get a free pass to roam freely through stores without shoes.
2. Celebrate What Makes Them Different
I sometimes feel frustrated that the things that seem so simple (turning in homework, putting on BOTH shoes, turning off the stove) can be so hard for the ADHD brain. But the things my son’s brain creates leave me in awe. My son was given a writing assignment at the beginning of the school year on a specific topic. He was so hyperfocused that he wrote a 3,000-word essay defending his theory one Saturday morning, in record time. It was so well-researched and well-written. I said to him, “Your brain is pretty special. I wish I was able to dive so deep into a topic and follow the paths of information like you do. Most brains don’t do this. This is amazing!”
It was truly awesome until I noticed the assignment clearly asked for the written portion to be 500 words maximum. His brain skipped a very important detail, but I was in awe of what he created. His brain solves problems in ways mine doesn’t. He sees the world in a different, wonderful way. Every time I spot something that makes him unique, I make sure to tell him how special his brain really is.
3. Stop the Shame Spiral
When my son realized he didn’t read the instructions clearly, I saw the shame drift up his face. His shoulders hunched forward and his head dropped. The shame a person with ADHD feels when they’ve made a mistake can be overwhelming. Even for my husband, regulating his emotions and, especially, feelings of shame is a real struggle.
A crucial piece of advice on shame was given to me by Dr. Emily King. Dr. King is a child psychologist who has worked with neurodivergent children, their teachers, and their families for more than 20 years. When either of my ADHD loved ones makes a mistake, she advises to offer connection not correction.
As a recovering perfectionist, this was really hard for me. When my husband got distracted and left his suitcase at the airport where we were departing and didn’t notice until he walked off the plane for our vacation, my instinct was to say a lot of curse words very loudly in the middle of a very public airport. When my son overlooked very clearly written instructions, my urge was to say “How many times do I have to tell you?! You have to read the directions!” Instead, in both cases, I offered connection.
To my husband, I said, “Wow. That really sucks. I’m sure you were feeling distracted while we were racing to the plane and trying to get snacks for the kids.” To my son, I said, “I know this is tough. That stinks that you will have to re-work this. Remember when I totally misread the written directions on The Amazing Race and got us lost? It happens.”
When the temperature is lowered and moods have stabilized, then we talk about systems and reminders. My husband says this one tool has been the most motivating for him. When I resist the urge to snap, he wants to work harder to never make the same mistake or overlook the same detail. It’s hard to offer empathy when you feel real rage, believe me. But we’re all better for it.
4. Use the Coach Mindset
Every individual with ADHD has a different collection of symptoms on a vast spectrum. I have such respect for every parent and partner who is an ally to the neurodivergent. I struggled not attaching my own ego and emotions to the actions of my child. I was advised to adopt the “Coach” mindset.
Imagine a coach of a Little League game. Does she yell and scream because your little one strikes out? No! (Or hopefully not). The coach doesn’t get embarrassed or shame a player for a bad game and a parent shouldn’t shame a child for normal behavior – even if it doesn’t fit inside our visions of how a child should act.
We had the chance to meet so many wonderful humans at book signings across the country. Sweet families with ADHD kiddos stood in line so we could take pictures and have a quick chat. Because I wanted to hug and talk to EVERYONE, the lines took longer than an ADHD brain could tolerate. Rather than snap and discipline these kiddos for spinning in circles, jumping up and down, and breakdancing (yes, breakdancing – it was awesome), the parents knew this was how their little ones needed an outlet. They didn’t expect more than their children could give. They were awesome coaches and it was inspiring to witness.
5. Remind Without Nagging
I don’t actually enjoy nagging and offering constant reminders. I don’t want to make the lists. I don’t want to hold every single piece of information for my family. That emotional load is too much. And, obviously, the person on the other end doesn’t want to hear the constant bickering. Now on Sunday evenings, we have a family meeting, and we all answer this question: “What will it take for me to have a great week?”
For the kids, it helps them spot future tests and quizzes so they plan ahead. Then, in the mornings when we’re all a little more frantic, instead of barking orders I have been asking, “What do you need to do to be ready for school?” It gives him the power and he can take ownership of his executive functioning.
I am still learning how to be a supportive partner and parent to my two ADHDers. I love their spontaneity, curiosity, and constant creativity. There are days I wish I could take a peek inside their brains to witness how they see the world. I’m imagining they both see us all as cartoon characters in an animated musical, but I wouldn’t change them even if I could.
Find the Awesome in ADHD: Next Steps
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In my first year of college, I found myself with a brand new problem: I was totally unable to write an essay.
My professor had given us clear instructions. I was passionate about (read: hyperfixated on) the subject. I’d been researching for days. But I couldn’t seem to get started — there was too much I wanted to say and, horror of horrors, I couldn’t even use the just-start-rambling tactic that had carried me through high school. The topic was too important, the stakes were too high, and every time I started to write, it came out wrong.
All the same time, in high school, even when I’d make a bulleted outline for an essay and try to follow it, I’d get stuck, delete the outline in frustration, abandon the draft entirely, and write the whole essay in one go. Writing off the cuff produced some beautiful sentences, but I was prone to rambling or leaving things out. When I’d revise, I couldn’t recapture the energy and thought process I had while freewriting. Even with a reverse outline (first draft then outline), I got stuck. My transitions didn’t make as much sense the second time around, my writing seemed clunkier, and I still ended up scrapping everything. For a while, this strategy was workable. My essays, while spontaneous and poorly outlined, were good enough.
Now in college, as the night wore on and my meds wore off – still with no essay in sight – I was frustrated to the point of tears. Then I had an idea: I decided that if I couldn’t write the best version of my essay, or even a good version of my essay, I would write the worst version of my essay. And that’s what I did. I wrote in purposefully irreverent, goofy ways that amused me and kept my attention. In the end, to my surprise, I had a draft that had actually captured my ideas and was fun to read during revision.
Why The Crappy Draft Technique Works for ADHD College Students
The goal of The Crappy Draft is twofold. First, it relieves the pressure to Write Something Good and makes the task that’s been driving you crazy into something lighthearted, with stakes so low they’re in the ground. And you get something done. Revising is tomorrow’s problem; tonight, you can sleep knowing you got started.
Second, The Crappy Draft lets you see the shape of your essay. Yes, this version may be nonsensical, but it also holds great wisdom. One of the great skills of the ADHD brain is making connections even where seemingly none exist. If harnessed correctly, this can be a great essay-writing tool: the ways in which you jump from one topic to another when you’re not thinking about writing a polished draft often allow for your best ideas to come forward.
You may be surprised to find how easy it is to turn something from apparent crap into an eloquent essay! For example, in one Crappy Draft of a history paper, I wrote “We can all talk a big game about war, but maybe we mostly just want everyone to have enough potatoes and not get their stuff stolen.” In the final version of the essay, this became “People want to avoid war more than they want to protect territory or follow orders, and sometimes they can even succeed in avoiding it.”
I’ve since used The Crappy Draft approach to great success every time I feel even slightly stuck on an essay. The Crappy Draft allows me the pleasure of writing in my own voice while capturing all of my ideas without censoring myself or succumbing to anxiety. And because my goofy Crappy Drafts are fun to read, they keep me focused when I go back to revise. The process is more manageable, and the final product is more organized, thoughtful, and in-depth.
1. Type at the top of your document: THIS DRAFT IS CRAPPY ON PURPOSE. I’LL MAKE IT GOOD LATER.
I type this in bold and highlight the words in red, but you do you. The important thing is that by writing this affirmation, you release yourself from the need to write anything presentable.
2. Write the silliest version of your draft you can possibly write.
Hit the points you want to hit but don’t pay any attention to whether you’re hitting them in the right order. Forgo punctuation. Don’t just write from your inner monologue — write from the most informal, personal part of your brain. Put in as many swears and as much Internet slang as you want. Make yourself laugh. Have fun with it.
Don’t forget the “assignment” part entirely, though. Here’s what I wrote one of my Crappy Drafts when I noticed myself going wildly off topic and getting distracted:
Man, do you ever think about the butterfly effe– [I AM HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A COMICALLY LARGE HAMMER. NEXT PARAGRAPH PLEASE !!]
Optional step: Change the font to Comic Sans or some other stupid-looking font.
This is also a neat trick for resetting your brain when you’ve been staring at your words for hours and are starting to hate them. Different font? Ooh, it must be a different task! How new and exciting!
3. Get a good night’s sleep and revise another day.
I’m hopeful that your Crappy Draft will surprise you and make you smile. Read your draft with an open mind. Follow what jumps out at you, and you’ll find the makings of a strong, cohesive essay.
How to Write an Essay in College: Next Steps
SUPPORT ADDITUDE Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
Anxiety is a struggle for many – and Gen Z especially. But this fun habit can make a difference.
Dating can be tough, and not everyone is an expert. While Gen Z is drifting away from apps, most of the rest of the population is still strong. In fact, 349 million people worldwide using dating apps. The vast majority of matchmaking is done on mobile devices. Over 50% of individuals who met someone on a dating app said it led to a romantic, exclusive relationship.
We interviewed the founders of Konvo Dating and discovered the number one complaint from men is frustration over not getting responses to their messages to women. It’s hard to get noticed, especially when most men swipe indiscriminately at women they find attractive. This strategy partly explains why women are inundated with matches, and a man’s message is easily missed. Here are their tips for guys to get a dating app response. Here are tips for for guys to get a dating app response.
A generic “Hey” or “What’s up?” will likely go unnoticed in a sea of similar messages. Women on dating apps receive many such messages, and the key to catching her attention is personalizing your approach. Take the time to read through her profile and find something unique to mention. Maybe she’s passionate about a particular hobby or traveled somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Referencing something specific shows that you’ve paid attention and that your message isn’t just a copy-paste.
Why It Works: Personalizing your message makes her feel seen and appreciated for more than just her appearance. It tells her you’re genuinely interested in who she is, not just looking for a casual match.
Example: “I noticed you love hiking—have you been to [local trail]? I’ve been looking for new places to explore!”
Photo by Westend61/Getty Images
Keep It Light and Playful
When starting a conversation, being lighthearted can help ease any initial awkwardness. Humor is an excellent tool for breaking the ice and creating a relaxed atmosphere. A playful comment or a light joke can set the tone for a fun conversation she wants to engage in. Just be mindful of your humor—keep it respectful and avoid anything that could be misinterpreted.
Why It Works: Playful conversations stand out because they’re enjoyable and easygoing. Women are more likely to respond to someone who can make them smile, especially in the often-serious world of online dating.
Example: “Your profile says you love dogs—does that mean you’ve mastered the art of the perfect dog selfie?”
Compliment Her Interests, Not Just Her Looks
Complimenting a woman’s appearance is fine, but leading with or only focusing on her looks might make it seem like you’re more interested in the surface-level aspects of who she is. To stand out, shift the focus to her hobbies, personality, or achievements. Compliment her based on her passion and show genuine curiosity about those interests.
Why It Works: Complimenting her interests makes her feel valued beyond her appearance, highlighting your interest in a deeper connection. It also allows her to talk more about something she cares about, making it easier to continue the conversation.
Example: “I’m impressed by your photography skills—how you captured [location] is incredible. How long have you been doing photography?”
Instead of Talking About Your Ex, Talk About How You’ve Grown
Bringing up past relationships, especially in a negative light, can be a big red flag in early conversations. It signals unresolved issues and can create an uncomfortable dynamic. Instead of focusing on what went wrong in the past, share how you’ve grown and learned from those experiences. If the topic arises, frame your response positively, highlighting personal growth and looking forward to new opportunities.
Why It Works: Talking about personal growth rather than past drama shows emotional maturity and self-awareness, both attractive qualities. It shifts the focus away from the baggage and toward future possibilities.
Example: “I’ve learned a lot from my past relationships, especially about communication and understanding. I look forward to finding a fresh start and building something meaningful.”
Stay Positive and Optimistic
A positive attitude is incredibly appealing. Women are more likely to respond to someone who seems upbeat and optimistic about dating. Avoid complaining about your previous experiences with dating apps or expressing negativity. Instead, show excitement and a lighthearted attitude toward meeting new people. Positive energy is contagious and makes the conversation feel more enjoyable for both of you.
Why It Works: Positivity sets a welcoming tone and creates a comfortable space for conversation. Women are more inclined to engage with someone who radiates enthusiasm and doesn’t take things too seriously.
Example: “I’m new to this app and excited to meet interesting people. How’s your experience been so far?”
Navigating the world of dating apps can be tricky, but using these five tips from Konvo can set you apart and increase your chances of making a genuine connection. Personalizing your messages, staying playful, complimenting her interests, focusing on growth rather than baggage, and maintaining a positive attitude will improve your chances of a reply and set the stage for meaningful interaction.
Patience and understanding is a essential, KONVOdating.com has more tips.
Anxiety is a struggle for many – and Gen Z especially. But this fun habit can make a difference.
Everyone has anxiety at times, but having it longer term can cause more issues. Insomnia, depression, gastrointestinal issues and more can result. Gen Z is seeing higher stress levels than older generations. 18 to 34-year-olds say their average stress level is a 6 out of 10, compared with a 3.4 among people ages 65 and older. APA’s 2023 Stress in America survey found. Last year, the younger generation shared their average stress was a 5.8. But a fun habit can help calm anxiety and can be done in most places.
Listening to music can relax you and calm you down. Research confirms these personal experiences with music. Current findings indicate that music around 60 beats per minute can cause the brain to synchronize with the beat causing alpha brainwaves (frequencies from 8 – 14 hertz or cycles per second). This alpha brainwave is what is present when we are relaxed and conscious.
Photo by Malte Wingen via Unsplash
Another study, published in the journal Plos One and conducted by a group of Canadian researchers from Ryerson University, utilized music and Auditory Beat Stimulation (ABS), a sound combines tones and plays them in one ear or another, stimulating the brain. ABS is an interesting method, one which seeks to provide anxiety relief in the least invasive form possible, disregarding medications.
The research examined 163 patients who were already taking anti-anxiety medication. They were instructed to listen to relaxing music, ABS sessions, both, or “pink noise,” a sound similar to white noise. Participants listened to these sessions for 24 minutes, with an artificial intelligence device selecting the music depending on the participant’s mood.
Researchers found that participants with moderate levels of anxiety experienced the most benefits after listening to music and ABS. Participants who had high levels of anxiety reaped more benefits from listening to music only when compared to the group who listened to ABS.
“The findings from this research are exciting as they indicate personalized music shows great promise in effectively reducing anxiety in specific segments of the population that suffer from anxiety,” wrote the researchers.
Music has long been associated with anxiety-relieving properties, but there haven’t been many studies that look at it through a scientific lens. Nowadays, when there are so many options for remote and digital treatment, the exploration of auditory stress-relieving tools sounds like something worth investigating, that could provide relief to large amounts of people.
I was 15 when I experienced my first overstimulation meltdown. I was at the mall with my family, fresh out of an argument with my dad over dental pain meds, and tired from the school day, none of which helped my mood.
The mall was chaos. It was December, so everything was decked out in bright lights and brighter colors. The same five cheesy songs played on full blast over the loudspeakers. The halls were packed with loud holiday shoppers who kept bumping into us (and us into them). My sweater, perfect for chilly weather, weighed down on me indoors while my winter coat over my arm made me even more warm and sweaty.
And then, in the middle of the food court that reeked of greasy food and fake pine fragrance, my 3-month-old twin brothers started screaming. Everyone nearby shot us dirty looks, my head hurt from the noise and the smell and the heat and —
I snapped.
“Will you SHUT THEM UP?!”
My dad and stepmom looked at me like I was the jerk, and not the victim.
“Is this about your mouth?” Dad asked. “I told you to ask for more meds.”
ADHD and Overstimulation: My Sensory Meltdowns
That sums up every experience I’ve had with overstimulation or sensory overload: I’m too tired or upset to regulate my emotions, I’m assaulted on all sides with stimuli, I can’t stop anything, and people around me act like I’m crazy when I can’t take it anymore.
From an outside perspective, it probably does look like I’m insane. I appear fine until I’m not, over something small, no less. Nobody likes crowded stores or sharing a busy office, but millions of people deal with the chaos without freaking out. Even if there’s too much going on, a bit of deep breathing and mindful realignment should calm me down, right?
Too bad that doesn’t help. The problem with ADHD is that I not only have trouble paying attention, but I also have trouble shutting things out. I am constantly aware and reminded of every odd little thing around me. Like that one coworker who hits “reply all” just to send a smiley emoji, my mind sends unnecessary alerts to let me know that my left shoe is just a little too loose, that my coworker is loudly eating an apple, that there’s a flickering light way across the room, and other status updates I could really do without.
It’s a feeling of being trapped. I can’t turn the world off, can’t stop thinking, and can’t stop feeling worse thinking about how I can’t stop. The more trapped I feel in my mind and body, the harder it is to communicate why I’m upset or how to fix it.
What a fun Catch-22.
This is partially why I really don’t want help solving the problem in the moment. If I’m overwhelmed, my responses are entirely reactionary. I don’t feel comforted by back rubs or someone asking if I’m OK, it only adds fuel to the fire.
I’ve learned that it’s better for others to approach me when I’m able to articulate my needs. Asking ahead, well before an overstimulation meltdown, is especially touching.
My best coping strategies were planned significantly far in advance for this exact reason. Demanding that everyone else stops isn’t exactly doable. But I’ve learned how to quietly and successfully remove myself from the situation or prevent overstimulation.
I have an extensive toolkit: noise-cancelling headphones, a mini fan, sunglasses, soft sweaters and jackets, quiet rooms, and a handful of other odds and ends. I must look strange to my coworkers, making dozens of adjustments to my area throughout the day. I’m relieved that my workplace allows me to self-accommodate like this.
This is why awareness matters. The next time you see someone snap over something small, or look increasingly uncomfortable with everything, assume that they’re overstimulated (and that ADHD may be in the picture). Perhaps that will stop you from loudly asking why someone is wearing sunglasses indoors or running for the nearest closet or empty room. Give us grace, and you’ll be able to work with the neurodivergent people in your life and make the world a more accommodating place for us. The steps are small, but the results are magnificent.
ADHD and Overstimulation: Next Steps
SUPPORT ADDITUDE Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.
