What Are the Post-Sex Blues? Here’s How To Deal With This Common Issue
After sex, some people feel a sense of euphoria, relaxation, and closeness to their partner. But that’s not the case for everyone.
According to a 2019 study, almost half of men report feeling sad, distant, or irritable after sex. This is often called “post-coital dysphoria” (PCD), or the post-sex blues. But why does it happen? And are there ways to treat it?
First things first: PCD is nothing to be ashamed of. As previously noted, it’s super common. More importantly, experts say it’s nothing to worry about, and often just goes away on its own with time.
That said, if this condition is negatively impacting your sex life, relationship, or overall mental well-being, know that there are things you can do to cope — starting with pinpointing what’s driving your PCD.
Here’s what to know about the common signs and causes of PCD, and how to treat it.
What Are the Signs of Post-Coital Dysphoria?
Experts say PCD can manifest in different ways. You may be experiencing this condition if you feel any of the following after sex:
Aggravated
Sad
Apathetic
Restless
Uneasy
These feelings may set in immediately after sex, or up to an hour or two after you finish.
Depending on personality and history, a person experiencing PCD may start crying or seem easily annoyed, says Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert.
“Some people with PCD may feel the need to leave the room or the situation altogether,” she explains.
What Causes Post-Coital Dysphoria?
A 2019 study found that PCD is linked to:
Psychological distress
Childhood sexual abuse
Sexual dysfunctions
If you’ve had traumatic sexual experiences or are currently dealing with sexual dysfunction, then intimate situations can trigger all kinds of negative emotions — like fear or shame.
There are many other possible causes, too.
Since you have higher levels of the feel-good chemical dopamine during sex, your body releases the hormone prolactin afterward to bring you back to your baseline.
In other words, you go from a major high to a sudden crash. According to Tufts University, that post-coital drop in dopamine may contribute to a low mood or other symptoms of PCD.
“For example,” she explains, “if a person is already sad or depressed, the feelings can be magnified if the sexual intimacy was not connective or fulfilling. As well, if other stressors such as arguments, financial unrest, body issue images, etc. are at play these issues can be exacerbated given the vulnerability involved in sexual intimacy.”
How PCD Can Impact Your Sex Life & Relationship
“Post-coital dysphoria is unlikely to have a major impact on your sexual and romantic life if it’s experienced rarely,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist, research fellow at The Kinsey Institute and founder of Sex & Psychology. “However, if it’s a common occurrence, it can potentially be distressing — especially if you have a partner who does not understand it or takes it personally, in which case it may become a source of conflict.”
According to Manly, PCD can create ongoing feelings of disconnection, particularly if your partner notices that you seem cold or distant after sex.
Bisbey notes that PCD can also lead you to avoid sex and the negative feelings associated with it. Over time, this avoidance can begin to take a toll on your overall intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
“You may choose to use pornography instead of intimacy with a partner as solo sex often feels emotionally safer due to the lack of vulnerability,” adds Manly. “Over time, unaddressed PCD can actually tear a relationship apart due to the lack of emotional and sexual intimacy.”
How to Treat Post-Coital Dysphoria
If PCD is something you only experience once in a while, Lehmiller says it’s nothing to worry about.
“Psychologists think this may be a normal variation that sometimes happens following sex and that we shouldn’t pathologize it,” he explains.
On the other hand, if PCD is a persistent issue for you, and is triggering feelings of anxiety or depression, or negatively impacting your sex life or relationship, Lehmiller suggests consulting with a sex therapist. A licensed provider may be able to help you get to the root cause of the issue, whether it’s related to a mood disorder, an underlying sexual dysfunction, or a history of trauma.
Bisbey notes that it can also be helpful to tell your doctor about your symptoms of PCD, as they can help rule out any physical health issues that may be causing it.
While psychotherapy can be tremendously helpful, Manly notes that there are many other ways to address PCD — such as through support groups, self-help books, or journaling.
Manly also highly recommends being open and honest with your partner about the symptoms you’re experiencing. By openly discussing your feelings before, during, or after sex, you’re giving your partner an opportunity to be more supportive and accommodating.
“When partners work together to face PCD and address the issues with compassion, the relationship can actually become stronger and more loving,” adds Manly.
Dec. 21, 2022 — A year ago in December, mapping specialist Whitney Tyshynski, 35, was working out 5 days a week with a personal trainer near her home in Alberta, Canada, doing 5k trail runs, lifting heavy weights, and feeling good. Then, in January she got COVID-19. The symptoms never went away.
Nowadays, Tyshynski needs a walker to retrieve her mail, a half-block trip she can’t make without fear of fainting. Because she gets dizzy when she drives, she rarely goes anywhere in her car. Going for a dog walk with a friend means sitting in a car and watching the friend and the dogs in an open field. And since fainting at Costco during the summer, she’s afraid to shop by herself.
Because she lives alone and her closest relatives are an hour and a half away, Tyshynski is dependent on friends. But she’s reluctant to lean on them because they already have trouble understanding how debilitating her lingering symptoms can be.
“I’ve had people pretty much insinuate that I’m lazy,” she says.
There’s no question that COVID-19 cut people off from one another. But for those like Tyshynski who have long COVID, that disconnect has never ended. It’s not just that symptoms including extreme fatigue and brain fog make it difficult to socialize; it’s that people who had COVID-19 and recovered are often skeptical that the condition is real.
At worst, as Tyshynski has discovered, people don’t take it seriously and accuse those who have it of exaggerating their health woes. In that way, long COVID can be as isolating as the original illness.
“Isolation in long COVID comes in various forms and it’s not primarily just that physical isolation,” says Yochai Re’em, MD, a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City who has experienced long COVID and blogs about the condition for Psychology Today. “A different yet equally challenging type of isolation is the emotional isolation, where you need more emotional support, connection with other people who can appreciate what it is you are going through without putting their own needs and desires onto you — and that can be hard to find.”
It’s hard to find in part because of what Re’em sees as a collective belief that anyone who feels bad should be able to get better by exercising, researching, or going to a doctor.
“Society thinks you need to take some kind of action and usually that’s a physical action,” he says. “And that attitude is tremendously problematic in this illness because of the post-exertional malaise that people experience: When people exert themselves, their symptoms get worse. And so the action that people take can’t be that traditional action that we’re used to taking in our society.”
Long COVID patients often have their feelings invalidated not just by friends, loved ones, and extended family, but by health care providers. That can heighten feelings of isolation, particularly for people who live alone, says Jordan Anderson, DO, a neuropsychiatrist and assistant professor of psychiatry in the School of Medicine at Oregon Health & Science University in Portland.
The first patients Anderson saw as part of OHSU’s long COVID program contracted the virus in February 2020. Because the program addresses both the physical and mental health components of the condition, Anderson has seen a lot of people whose emotional challenges are similar to those Tyshynski faces.
“I think there’s a lack of understanding that leads to people just not necessarily taking it seriously,” he says. “Plus, the symptoms of long COVID do wax and wane. They’re not static. So people can be feeling pretty good one day and be feeling terrible the next. There’s some predictability to it, but it’s not absolutely predictable. It can be difficult for people to understand.”
Both Anderson and Re’em stress that long COVID patients need to prioritize their own energy regardless of what they’re being told by those who don’t understand the illness. Anderson offers to speak to his patients’ spouses to educate them about the realities of the condition because, he says, “any kind of lack of awareness or understanding in a family member or close support could potentially isolate the person struggling with long COVID.”
Depending on how open-minded and motivated a friend or relative is, they might develop more empathy with time and education, Re’em says. But for others, dealing with a confusing, unfamiliar chronic illness can be overwhelming and provoke anxiety.
“The hopelessness is too much for them to sit with, so instead they say things like ‘just push through it,’ or ‘just do X, Y, and Z’ because psychologically it’s too much for them to take on that burden,’ he says.
The good news is that there are plenty of web-based support groups for people with long COVID, including Body Politic (which Re’em is affiliated with), Survivor Corps, and on Facebook. “The patient community with this illness is tremendous, absolutely tremendous,” Re’em says. “Those people can be found and they can support each other.”
Some long COVID clinics run groups, as do individual practitioners such as Re’em, although those can be challenging to join. For instance, Re’em’s are only for New York state residents.
The key to finding a group is to be patient, because finding the right one takes time and energy.
“There are support groups that exist, but they are not as prevalent as I would like them to be,” Anderson says.
OHSU had an educational support group run by a social worker affiliated with the long COVID hub, but when the social worker left the program, the program was put on hold.
There’s a psychotherapy group operating out of the psychiatry department, but the patients are recruited exclusively from Anderson’s clinic and access is limited.
“The services exist, but I think that generally they’re sparse and pretty geographically dependent,” Anderson says. “I think you’d probably more likely be able to find something like this in a city or an area that has an academic institution or a place with a lot of resources rather than out in a rural community.”
Tyshynski opted not to join a group for fear it would increase the depression and anxiety that she had even before developing long COVID. When she and her family joined a cancer support group when her father was ill, she found it more depressing than helpful. Where she has found support is from the co-founder of the animal rescue society where she volunteers, a woman who has had long COVID for more than 2 years and has been a source of comfort and advice.
It’s one of the rare reminders Tyshysnki has that even though she may live alone, she’s not completely alone. “Other people are going through this, too,” she says. “It helps to remember that.”
You have hepatitis C, a disease caused by a virus that’s contagious and attacks the liver. Maybe you know how you got it. Maybe you don’t.
Whatever the case, the virus could be just part of the problem. Now that the doctor has told you that you have hep C, get ready to battle a range of head-spinning emotions that often can be as difficult to deal with as the virus itself.
There are ways to calm your nerves and ease your mind.
What You’re Facing
Fear and anxiety: Most people with hepatitis C don’t have any symptoms. Even if you’ve had it for years, you may not have the fever, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and other things that some folks with the virus have.
Still, doctors will tell you that hepatitis C is a serious disease that can cause lasting damage to the liver, including cancer and a scarring of the liver (cirrhosis). Hepatitis C is, in a word, scary.
“I think fear is probably the first thing: ‘What does it mean?’ ” says Lucinda K. Porter, RN, author of two books about her experience with hep C.
“If you don’t know anything about hepatitis C, and you go on the Internet — which a lot of people seem to go to before they go to their physicians — you might see a full variety of outcomes, including death. Or see that this is an infectious disease and get the fear you might infect someone else. That’s a huge fear.”
The fears keep coming:
Is it going to be debilitating?
Can you infect someone else?
Will you be able to work?
How are you going to pay for your treatment?
How are you going to take care of your family?
How are you going to pay the mortgage?
“Once you learn more, you find out that hep C doesn’t work like that,” says Porter, who works as a hepatitis C advocate, writing for hepmag.com and hcvadvocate.org. “If you find out about it in an early stage and get some good, solid information, you find out that those fears don’t usually get realized.”
Remember: In many cases, the medicines that your doctor prescribes can pretty much wipe the virus out of your body.
“There is nothing to be afraid of. No matter how you got the infection, now we have a group of different, good therapies that can get rid of this infection,” says Victor Machicao, MD, a gastroenterologist with McGovern Medical School at UTHealth-Houston.
“I usually tell [people] there’s a good chance that, you start taking the treatments, you’re going to start feeling better, and by the time that we complete the therapy, you’re going to feel almost like a new person.”
Embarrassment and shame: Hepatitis C gets spread through exposure to an infected person’s blood. That’s the only way. Often, that’s how intravenous drug users, sharing needles, spread the virus. Sometimes, it gets passed down through high-risk sex. Before 1992, when blood wasn’t screened for hepatitis C in the U.S., it often was passed along through transfusions and organ transplants, too.
Some of those activities — drug use and high-risk sex, especially — are what many people associate with hepatitis C. That thinking creates a stigma that makes people who have the disease not want to tell others about it.
“So many of [the people I treat] are those baby boomers who did have a brief period of experimentation with drug use. Or maybe they did use drugs for a year or two of their adolescence. But now, that’s like 30 years ago,” says Andrew Muir, MD, a hepatologist who is chief of the Division of Gastroenterology at Duke Clinical Research Institute in Durham, NC.
“Often, they’re not married to somebody that they knew back then … it’s embarrassing, then you’re worried about what that person is going to think of you, and then when you realize that there may be a chance that you’ve passed on the virus through sex. … All these things are spiraling around in their heads.”
Guilt: “There’s a lot of guilt, especially in someone who has a remote history of IV drug use, or got a tattoo at an unregulated parlor, or had a high-risk sexual encounter,” says Nancy Reau, MD, section chief of hepatology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.
People feel guilty about the possibility that they’ve infected others unknowingly. They feel guilty about putting loved ones in a situation that is often financially and emotionally costly. Sometimes, it can be too much for a person to handle.
Regret: People with the disease often beat themselves up for not making better choices when they contracted the virus.
“At that point, I tell every single one of my [folks] that there’s not a single one of us that wouldn’t go back and change a decision that we’ve made,” Reau says. “To some extent, looking back isn’t going to help us. We have to look forward.”
Anger: “Anger is not an uncommon one. Anger is one of those emotions that make us feel like we’re empowered,” says Porter, who got hepatitis C in 1988 through a blood transfusion.
For some, it comes from the fact that they had nothing to do with what gave them the virus.
“I didn’t react with anger because in my case, that blood transfusion saved my life. But other people … can feel quite angry, and they feel quite victimized by that. I find [this] one is probably the hardest to address. Sometimes I just acknowledge that they feel angry.”
Depression: The virus, the symptoms that may accompany it, all the emotions — it can be difficult to handle.
Muir says a common scenario, in his experience, is a drug user who addresses the problem of addiction, goes in for treatment, and just as things start looking better, finds out they have hepatitis C.
“I find a lot of them are really down on themselves: ‘I’m a bad person, I did this, I’m being punished for it.’ We really need to try to change the way they feel about that,” Muir says.
“I was a mess. I felt dirty. I was hard on myself,” says Stella Armstrong, a Las Vegas office manager who got the virus through drug use. Armstrong is now virus-free and is a hepatitis C advocate and member of the National Patient Advisory Committee for the American Liver Foundation. “I had to seek counseling. I had to see a psychiatrist. I was taking depression and anxiety medicine.”
How to Get Help
Talk to your medical team. Meet with your doctor and anyone else you might need (a hepatologist or pharmacist, for example). Get a plan. Follow treatment.
“You start there. Always,” Porter says.
Don’t underestimate the power of feeling physically better. It’s good for your mind, too.
Once again, the virus can disappear in many of those who have hepatitis C.
“People are surprised. They ask you, ‘Doctor, did you mean ‘cure’?” Machicao says. “They come to the office and say, ‘Doctor, that means I don’t have the infection anymore?’ I tell them, ‘For practical purposes, you’re cured.’ They are in total disbelief. It is amazing.”
“The success of being cured of hepatitis C is really powerful,” says Muir.
If you feel depression or anxiety, the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that you talk to your primary doctor or go to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Depression is a real illness and, even in the most severe cases, it’s treatable with medication or other means.
Get educated. Find trusted sites online. Ask your doctor questions. Know what the virus is all about. Separate fact from fiction.
“Education is how we start breaking down the stereotypes. How we find out we don’t need to be afraid anymore,” Porter says. “It can release the chains of anger.”
Find some support. It can help to talk with other people who have been through what you have. Your doctor can point you toward online groups filled with people who are going through the same process. In some places, you can meet with people in person. Social services through government agencies or hospitals can help, too.
“When you start to see other people who have a history of drug use, that regret and shame starts to diminish. ‘OK. I’m not a bad person. I can deal with this,’ ” Porter says.
“I’ve always been open and have discussed my addiction with drugs. I think it’s the best thing. We only stay as sick as our secrets,” Armstrong says. “It was better for me to share my story. It’s still the same thing. It’s still hepatitis C, and we have to get through it.”
Lean on family, friends, clergy, whomever it takes. Whether it’s someone else who has been through hepatitis C, or a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or your best friend — even if it’s a complete stranger — sometimes you just need a shoulder or a sympathetic ear. Search them out. Use them.
“No matter how much positive you can hear about it, you still have to go home, you still have to be at a point by yourself, thinking these bad thoughts and you’re worried and you’re scared and you’re scared of the unknown,” Armstrong says. “Those are the times you have to call somebody and talk to them.”
Take care of yourself. Once you get your medical plan in place, once you have your support in line, once you’re educated and know what you’re facing, taking a little “me” time is in order.
“Having a chronic illness is hard,” Reau says. “Start by looking at the things you can change easily.”
Eat well. Exercise. Get your sleep. Some people like to meditate. Nap if you need to nap. Make sure you’re around people you like. Enjoy a good book or a movie. All these can help you deal with the stress and emotions of hepatitis C.
“Even at my lowest point and when I was feeling really sick, you just gotta keep moving. You have no other choice,” Armstrong says. “You have to keep moving forward and treating yourself well.”
By James Giordano, PhD, as told to Kara Mayer Robinson
Over the last 20 years, we’ve seen major strides in the treatment options for major depressive disorder.
We now understand that depression isn’t the same for everyone. The idea is to identify and diagnose what’s happening in a person’s neurochemistry so we can target our treatment in a way that works specifically for them.
Advances in Evidence-Based Treatment
Drug therapy has come a long way in recent years. We’ve improved the scope and focus of drug therapy by developing more selective or specialized antidepressants and combining them in new ways, with fewer side effects.
Drug therapy today may include newer medications like citalopram (Celexa) and escitalopram (Lexapro) as well as existing medications like fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft).
It tends to work best when combined with psychotherapy, as supported by ample evidence. We now know the most effective and efficient types of therapy appear to be cognitive-behavioral and psychodynamic therapy.
For people whose depression is resistant to psychotherapy and drug therapy, doctors may use electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). Today’s version of ECT is much more specific, with lower side effects. It’s usually reserved for people who have severe, drug-resistant depression with bipolar characteristics.
Newer Treatments
Many new therapies have been introduced that have led to major improvement for patients.
Ketamine
A newer therapy involves the drug ketamine, which has been used in the past as an anesthetic and has robust benefits. It’s a relatively new approach. It’s been around for about 5 years.
Ketamine therapy resets your brain node and network connectivity to reduce, if not abolish, many depressive signs and symptoms. Many patients have longstanding relief, and in some cases, recover.
Ketamine therapy may involve as little as a single dose. Or it could be multiple doses over a short period of time. But it must be done under medical supervision. While it’s usually outpatient therapy, proper dosing and support of a patient using ketamine is critical.
It’s not the first drug of choice because it has fairly profound effects on the brain and has to be used with caution. Right now it’s used for severe treatment-resistant depression. But there’s an ongoing discussion that people with severe depression may do well using it earlier in treatment.
I think you’ll see an increased use of ketamine in the future, particularly for those who don’t get help from other treatments.
Psychedelics
There’s building evidence for the use of psychedelic drugs to treat major depression.
Drugs like psilocybin, commonly known as mushrooms, and LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) can change the properties in your brain chemistry that are involved in depression.
Microdoses or millidoses of these drugs can be very effective, either by themselves or when used with antidepressants. They can improve symptoms, behavior, and function. They tend to be fast-acting, but for some people the effects don’t last long.
Psychedelics are still viewed with relative stigma and they’re a controlled substance. It’s necessary to find the right microdose and schedule for the best effect. Not all clinicians are skilled, comfortable, or willing to provide psychedelic drugs.
Another drawback is that people may try to self-medicate, which is very difficult. This is a very specific method that requires clinical skill.
More research is needed. We need medicine-based evidence for the use and value of psychedelics in treating certain types of depression.
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS)
TMS, which involves passing a very weak magnetic current through your skull, is interesting. It works like a dimmer switch to change the electrical activity of your brain and reduce signs and symptoms of depression.
There’s very promising research that repetitive TMS can be very effective in treating certain forms of treatment-resistant depression. It’s very easy to do, can be tailored to each patient’s needs, and often has a rapid and durable response. It can be used by itself or combined with psychotherapy or drug treatment.
But while the effects of TMS are robust, they may taper over time. It may require multiple sessions, and you have to find a clinician who’s trained and skilled to administer TMS.
Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS)
Deep brain stimulation is a new, emerging treatment that involves implanting electrodes to target specific areas of the brain. It can be adjusted for each individual patient to most effectively control their symptoms and signs of depression.
DBS was first tried in 2005. Since then, the science has advanced considerably with the help of the BRAIN Initiative, an NIH program aimed at revolutionizing our understanding of the human brain. Now we have a better understanding of how to target the brain more precisely, which may lead to better results. More research will help even more.
DBS appears to reset the network activities of the brain. Over time, the brain activity involved in depression may be turned off, which means patients stay in remission. There’s evidence to suggest DBS has long-lasting effects.
An interesting effect we’ve seen with some patients is how significantly it changes their outlook. Some people appear more outgoing and ebullient, with a newfound vigor and even changing interests. It’s hard to tell if these changes are a side effect of DBS or if it’s the result of feeling the burden of depression lifted. It’s very interesting.
A downside of DBS is that it’s neurosurgery, so there’s the risk of infection and hemorrhage. It’s rare, but there’s also a risk of misplacement, or electrode drift.
Other cons include side effects and cost. Insurance companies don’t uniformly cover DBS. As the technology gets better, there will be a need for maintenance and upkeep that may be costly.
I believe DBS is the future. When it works, it really works.
On the Horizon
The emerging technology is moving toward minimal or noninvasive DBS.
There’s cutting-edge technology involving nonsurgical implantation of electrodes. A program at DARPA, an agency that supports the BRAIN Initiative, is looking at small transmitters and stimulators that can be delivered into the bloodstream, inhaled, or even swallowed, then guided to the brain.
Other groups are looking at minimally invasive approaches that can be done in a doctor’s office. All it requires is a very small hole in your scalp, where doctors insert fluid electrodes, then guide them to the brain electromagnetically. When they get to the brain, they harden.
I believe this is the future. It may be ready in some form in 5-10 years.
I’ve been living with depression for almost 12 years. I’m 31 now and I found out I had major depressive disorder when I was 19.
I had a miserable freshman year of college, but I didn’t really know what was wrong. I saw a therapist and the following summer, I was diagnosed with major depression. Looking back, I can see I was also depressed in high school.
Coming to terms with my diagnosis was a process. I had a hard time understanding why I was depressed and where it came from. In my mind, I hadn’t been through anything bad enough to warrant having major depressive disorder.
Therapy helped. My therapist normalized and validated my experience. At one point, she told me, “You have depression because you have it.” That’s something I’ve never forgotten.
I realized I needed to accept my diagnosis and take steps to help me.
Managing Symptoms
I’ve been in therapy fairly consistently over the years. That’s helped me the most.
I’ve also taken various medications. I took one SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) for about 2 years when I was first diagnosed. The effects wore off, but it helped me so much initially.
I tried other medications for short periods of time, like other SSRIs and SNRIs (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors). They helped when I needed them. I’m 100% a supporter of medication for mental health, but it’s not something I feel I need right now. If that changes, I’ll probably try it again.
I’ve also made many lifestyle changes. Two years ago, I started working with a personal trainer because I was hardly active. I feel stronger and have more energy. I still work with the same trainer 4 days a week.
With exercise, I try to take care of my body in a way that feels good for me. I also focus on getting enough sleep. I hardly drink alcohol. I focus on keeping a routine in my day and taking care of my spiritual health.
Friends and Family Support
I feel fortunate to have the support that I do. I’ve done a lot to maintain close relationships because relationships are so important to me.
My husband is fantastic and has also lived with depression. Many of my friends and family have experienced depression or other mental health issues, so they have a lot of understanding.
It helps to have someone listen, care, and take the time to talk with you about what’s going on. Social support is huge. I believe human connection is so important for growth and healing.
Managing Triggers
I’m not consistently experiencing depressive episodes right now, but I find them easy to slip into. It’s interesting because my brain really knows how to be depressed. In a way, it’s so familiar and comfortable.
I sometimes struggle with feeling like a failure. It most often comes up in relation to my work. I’m a mental health counselor. Owning a private practice and trying to help others can sometimes be overwhelming and bring up depressive thoughts and symptoms.
I have to do a lot to manage my thoughts and not start shaming myself. To release my emotions, I write them down or talk them out with someone. I also reframe my thoughts to more compassionate ones like, “I’m enough,” “I’m trying,” or “It won’t be like this forever.”
I still spiral sometimes when there’s too much going on. My main trigger is being overwhelmed by personal events and world events. World events in the last 2 years have definitely had an impact. It’s so easy for anyone to feel hopeless and despair these days.
I know my triggers and I try to be proactive. I do best when I sleep enough, stay active, manage my schedule effectively, and show myself compassion. Depression likes to latch onto doubt. Thoughts of “You’re a failure” or “It’ll never get better” can grow pretty quickly.
My Biggest Hurdle
My biggest struggle was in my early- and mid-20s, when I was suicidal. Many times, I felt out of control and didn’t know if I could keep myself safe. My symptoms were bad, and I needed more support. I feel like therapy saved my life. Medication was important too. I overcame it then, but passive suicidal thoughts can still come up.
Living With the Ups and Downs
My ups and downs were much more intense and severe in my early 20s. The roller coaster can still be very hard, but I do generally experience a lot more peace at this point in my life.
When I feel great, I feel great. Sometimes I feel just OK.
To manage the ups and downs, I rely on what I know helps me, like going to therapy, getting support from my friends and my husband, and staying active.
What I Know Now
The most important thing I’ve learned is that I’m not my depression. It’s something I experience and live with, but it’s not me.
Depression has helped me grow and expand in ways I maybe wouldn’t have otherwise. I don’t wish it for anyone and if I had the choice, I wouldn’t pick it for myself either. But it’s the hand I was dealt and it’s OK to see how it has shaped me.
It made me more compassionate. It inspired me, along with a powerful therapist I once had, to become a therapist myself. It led me to support others.
I used to resent my depression a lot, but I don’t anymore. As awful as it’s been over the years, it’s an important part of my life and it’s helped me in many ways.
When it comes to talking about how depression affects relationships, I’m the expert. And it’s not just because I’m a psychologist. I’ve lived with major depressive disorder since I was 19. I not only work on this issue with my patients, but I encounter it in my own life every single day.
There’s no doubt that strong relationships can help provide a buffer against depression and lessen the severity of depressive episodes. One study, for example, followed American adults aged 25-75 for 10 years and found that people who reported poor relationships with their spouse or other family members were at higher risk of depression.
But it can be hard to maintain relationships when you’re hurting so much yourself. Here’s what I tell my patients and what I want everyone who experiences depression, and those who care about them, to know.
Depression can be hard to understand because it’s an “invisible” illness. This is especially true if you struggle with it yourself. Most of us “get” that a broken leg is an injury, for example, and that we need a cast and crutches so we can move around. But if you have symptoms of depression such as moodiness, difficulty concentrating, trouble sleeping, and just generally feeling sad and uninterested in anything, it can be hard to resist the temptation to just tell yourself to snap out of it.
But if you don’t accept the fact that your depression is real, and just as much of a chronic illness as high blood sugar or arthritis, you’ll be setting yourself up for relationship trouble. Why? You’re setting unrealistic expectations for yourself.
Your loved ones want to help you and make your life easier. They need you to tell them what you’re up for, and when you need help, or a break. Spouses and other family members tend to over-worry. You can make their lives and yours easier if you’re simply upfront about how you feel.
Make clear that depression isn’t your everything. It’s easy for loved ones to mistake real, authentic sadness or irritability for depression. You might be upset about the situation in Ukraine, or worried about COVID-19, and a loved one will mistake these genuine emotions as just a relapse of symptoms.
Again, they’re just looking out for you and your health. I recommend that you be upfront with them and say, ‘No, it’s not that I skipped my medicine, or that my depression is worsening. I have a real legitimate reason to be upset, and it’s X, Y or Z.’ Then talk to them about it. You’ll feel better for sharing your thoughts and they’ll feel better knowing that you’ve got a handle on your symptoms.
This is especially true when it comes to children. My daughter, who is now in her 30s, is used to having a mom with depression. When she was little, I could tell that she worried about me when I seemed quiet or moody. I’d at times have to reassure her that mom was fine.
Kids who have parents with depression tend to feel like they need to walk on eggshells, that they don’t want to upset that parent. They want to be caretakers, and they forgo their own needs because they want to make sure that they don’t set up a row of collapsing dominos for their mom or dad with a chronic illness.
It’s important that both you and your partner reassure them that they don’t need to feel that way. Let them know that yes, you’re OK, but you might need some time in the sun or to go for a walk outdoors to regroup and begin to feel like yourself again. Just as it’s important for you to check in on your own mental health, check in on theirs.
Be selective about who you share your depression diagnosis with. It might seem that you “should” be open about your depression and let your boss and co-workers know. But think carefully before doing so. Yes, we’ve come a long way in understanding mental illness, but it’s still stigmatized. Employers view depression differently than other chronic conditions like heart disease.
I’ve found this to be true in my own professional life. Yes, I’ve found that it helps patients to know that I also have days when I struggle to get out of bed, or that I’m well acquainted with the side effects of certain antidepressant medications. The stigma I’ve faced has been, surprisingly, from other therapists, who feel that I’m oversharing.
As a result, I’ve learned to be very careful about whom I share personal struggles with. You can have depression and be a wonderful parent and have a stellar career. But there’s still this misconception that if you have this condition, you’re flawed as a person. It’s very sad, but unfortunately, it’s a reality.
Check in with yourself frequently. It won’t just help you; it will help your relationships. I ask patients to ask themselves these three questions at least once every few weeks:
Has your partner commented that you seem more moody, sad, or irritable lately?
Have you found yourself struggling every day for at least 2 weeks in more than one situation? (For example, feeling overwhelmed with both your work and your kids.)
Are you finding it hard to do things with family and friends that you usually enjoy, like seeing a movie or going out to eat?
If at least one of your answers is yes, then check in with your therapist. And if you don’t have a therapist right now, consider getting one. You may also be due for a medication check, whether it’s to change drugs or up your dose.
Make it a priority to have some self-care time, too. It may seem like a luxury you can’t afford, either financially or time-wise. But if you take just a few minutes a week, whether it’s going to the gym or taking a relaxing bath, you’ll feel better about yourself and be more willing to give in your relationships. Trust me. Your partner, kids, friends, and other family members will thank you.
I’m a mental health advocate living with major depression.
I speak with Fortune 500 companies, women’s prisons, firefighters, police officers, drug rehabilitation centers, nonprofit organizations, and media outlets about the importance of mental health.
My hope is to break the stigma and let people know they’re not alone and can live a beautiful life despite having mental health challenges.
Common Misconceptions About Major Depressive Disorder
An important part of destigmatizing depression is breaking down common misunderstandings. While the perception of major depressive disorder is changing, many misconceptions linger.
For example, people often think depression is something you can brush off or flip like a light switch. They may say things like “cheer up” or “just be happy.” But depression isn’t a choice. It’s a feeling and it’s real.
Another misunderstanding is how it appears on the surface. Just because someone looks happy doesn’t mean they’re not struggling. Often, people with depression put on a happy face to hide it from others.
People sometimes think someone who’s struggling with depression is trying to get attention. But no amount of attention is worth the painful feelings of major depressive disorder.
The problem with the ongoing stigma is that it may prevent you from speaking up and getting the help you need. The stigma can even be triggered by your own feelings. In the past, I often felt I wasn’t worthy of help or I had no value because of my depressive disorder.
But people with major depressive disorder are some of the most resilient and hard-working people I know. It takes courage to face this condition day in and day out.
People with chronic illnesses like cancer or diabetes are often told they’re brave, courageous, and inspiring. People with major depression should be told the same.
How It’s Changing
The perception of major depression is changing. People are talking more about mental health, which helps.
COVID-19 has brought depression to the forefront. Studies report that the number of people experiencing depression has increased. For people with lower income and more stressors, the rate has tripled since the beginning of the pandemic.
As depression becomes more prominent, we’re having more critical mental health conversations. There’s a better understanding that people from all walks of life are experiencing depression. These honest conversations not only make people feel they’re not so alone, but also encourage people to speak up.
It’s also helpful that therapy is more common now. More people are going to therapy to improve their lives, even if they’re not struggling with mental health issues. This has reduced the stigma for getting therapy tremendously.
But there’s still stigma associated with taking mental health medication. It’s stigmatized to the point that many people who need it refuse to take it, even though it would help them improve their life greatly.
Accepting Your Diagnosis
It may be challenging to learn you have major depressive disorder.
When I got my diagnosis, my whole soul rebelled against it. I felt like my doctor was handing me a life sentence. I felt hopeless and helpless. I couldn’t see how I could live a normal life with depression as my constant companion.
But that changed. I’m grateful for my doctors, medication, DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), and therapists who taught me I can have a life worth living despite my depression. Through medicine and learning new skills, I now have a very beautiful and full life.
When you learn you have a diagnosis of major depressive disorder, the first step in the healing process is radical acceptance. When you fight depressive emotions, it only gives them more fuel to thrive.
When I stopped fighting my diagnosis and started embracing it, that’s when the quality of my life improved. Of course, I still have hard days that I have to accept and manage, but the magic of acceptance is that it stops unnecessary suffering caused by resisting it.
Try to remember that there are millions of people who successfully live with difficult illnesses of every kind. You’re not alone. Chronic illnesses aren’t fun and they take daily management, but there’s power in acceptance. It’s the only way to move forward.
You may live your life differently than someone else without a depressive disorder and that’s OK. But it doesn’t mean you can’t have a full and meaningful life. Try to use self-help, self-love, and patience.
How You Can Help Break the Stigma
It takes everyone to break a stigma: celebrities, public figures, families, friends, schools, government leaders, news outlets, advocacy groups, doctors, therapists, and individuals.
One of the best ways you can help break down the stigma is to allow and participate in mental health conversations. Educate yourself. Be aware of the language you use. Show equality between physical and mental illnesses. Be compassionate.
Talk about it at work, with friends, and with family. Post on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook about things related to mental health awareness. Be one of the drops in a bucket. Each person’s voice matters.
The concept of the dark night of the soul was first coined in a poem by Saint John of the Cross, a 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet. The idea of a spiritual depression, however, is a part of many different spiritual and religious traditions, including Buddhism, where it’s referred to as “falling into the pit of the void.”
Yusim adds that the dark night of the soul will often involve suffering, setbacks, and obstacles. Nevertheless, she says, “Oftentimes, a dark night of the soul is a necessary part of people’s spiritual evolution.”
As Shannon Kaiser, spiritual teacher and author of Return to You, tells mbg, “It often happens to guide us to find our purpose in life, pay back or balance karma, and understand deep karmic and spiritual lessons. The dark night of the soul is a breaking away from the illusions of fear and ego to shift our alignment and values to what is real and true, the connection to the divine, and ultimately pave the way for your life purpose and mission here on Earth.”
Whether you’ve personally dealt with these neuropsychiatric disorders or have witnessed a family member, friend, or peer fight their own mental health battles, everyone is affected by depression and anxiety in some shape or form.
Whole foods and nutrients like fish, coffee, tea, berries, omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants (e.g., lycopene, resveratrol, selenium), and even dietary fiber have been found to play a critical role in the prevention and management of depression and anxiety.
These nutrients and foods help promote mental well-being by:
By Gonzalo Laje, MD, as told to Kara Mayer Robinson
I’m a psychiatrist, board certified in child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry. After my own personal experience with depression during my 20s, I’ve been on a lifelong quest to both understand and help others.
I spent almost a decade at the National Institutes of Health searching for ways to predict which depression treatments may be most effective for different people. Today, I manage Washington Behavioral Medicine Associates, a group practice in Chevy Chase, MD, where we help patients of all ages with treatment-resistant depression, or TRD.
Here’s what you should know about TRD and advances in treatment.
How do you know it’s TRD?
Most experts would agree the definition of treatment-resistant depression is the failure of two or more antidepressants, prescribed and taken at maximum dose, for at least 6 weeks each.
What can you do if you have TRD?
There are many options for successfully treating TRD. However, this doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy to find successful treatment.
My approach to TRD involves offering support from multiple angles. I don’t just focus on depression meds, but on an overall strategy that includes:
Dietary changes
Exercise
Medical evaluation with comprehensive bloodwork
Medication
Neuromodulation
Psychotherapy
Restorative sleep
Supplements and vitamins, especially if we find a deficit
First, I find out the details of previous treatments. It’s important for your doctor to understand how your symptoms evolved and how you responded to previous treatments. Your doctor may ask which medications you tried, the doses, how long you used them, and if you had side effects.
Then I look at the broader medical picture. Could there be other factors at play? Do you have good sleep habits, diet, and exercise?
I may recommend supplements, vitamins, and medication to improve day-to-day life. For example, vitamin D or omega-3s may help with mood improvement. I also address the constant negative self-talk that comes with depression.
Finally, I look for a combination of medications and neuromodulation to help your brain function in a more harmonious way.
Which treatments are best for TRD?
In the last 15 years, we’ve had a welcome introduction of different evidence-based strategies to treat TRD. They involve medication and techniques involving brain stimulation or inhibition, which is called neuromodulation.
Medication. For TRD, we go beyond classic depression medications like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs).
We may use medications like tricyclic antidepressants, lithium, thyroid hormone, and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). We may combine these with other medications, like atypical antipsychotics, buspirone, or other mood stabilizers. The combination of options is enormous.
Ketamine is an old anesthetic drug that’s been shown to help relieve TRD within hours. This is a big difference from typical depression meds, which may take weeks. There’s been some controversy around ketamine, but it offers hope for severe cases with limited options.
Neuromodulation. This is a treatment strategy that uses physical methods, like electric currents, to stimulate your brain.
One type is electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). It’s been poorly portrayed in movies and has fueled misinformation and distrust, but it’s a very safe and effective method to treat depression. ECT sends a small dose of electricity through your brain to change your brain chemistry and reverse your symptoms.
Another type is repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS). This is an FDA-approved treatment that delivers a magnetic pulse through a coil placed in your scalp. The pulse may stimulate or inhibit nerve cells in the part of your brain that involves mood control.
rTMS has minimal side effects and results have been positive. It’s my preferred method, and I often pair it with other treatment strategies.
What other treatments might doctors try for TRD?
Light therapy is a well-established treatment option for people whose depression may be seasonal. If your mood deteriorates in the fall months, it may have a seasonal component.
Light therapy can ease symptoms, improve sleep, and increase energy. It depends on the device, but your doctor may recommend using light panels or goggles every morning for about 20-30 minutes, starting in the fall.
Psilocybin, or “mushrooms,” has been studied as a possible depression treatment for many years. It’s not clear if it’s better than traditional antidepressants, but it may have fewer side effects. It may be an option if you’ve tried other things and they didn’t work. Talk to your doctor to see if it’s a good option for you.
Nitrous oxide (N2O), commonly known as “laughing gas,” may help with depressive symptoms. It’s fast-acting and may be similar to ketamine. But there’s no clear strategy yet for how to use N20 for depression. This may change in the near future as more research is being done now.
Does psychotherapy help TRD?
Psychotherapy is an important part of your treatment strategy.
In most cases, I favor talk therapy strategies that focus on the here and now. Therapies that help you solve problems, understand why you feel stuck, promote a healthy mind-body connection, and help you recognize and handle emotions are often the most effective.
Depending on your situation, one type of therapy may be better than another. In many ways, I think of the different types of therapy through the same lens as different medications: Some work better for one kind of problem and some work better for others.
What are common challenges in treating TRD?
The first challenge is getting the right diagnosis. To find the best treatment, it’s important to understand other conditions you may have, like anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, personality disorder, or other medical problems.
Since we don’t yet have very good predictors to know if we should pick one strategy over another, it’s a process of trial and error. This can be challenging and may fuel anxiety and frustration.
What can you do to improve your chances of finding a treatment that works?
Work with your primary care provider and a therapist to try different strategies. It may be helpful to consult an experienced psychiatrist or psychopharmacologist.
There are many treatment options. I’ve had many patients say, “I’ve tried them all,” “Nothing is going to help me,” or “You don’t know what it’s like.” But depression is an illness like any other. If your treatment doesn’t seem to work, it may be time to discuss other strategies with your provider.
For most her life, Christina Suchon has lived with depression. Through the ups and downs, one thing that’s helped her is writing in a journal.
“Even if it’s just total negative, garbage nonsense that I’m scribbling on a page, it helps clear my mind and figure out what is exactly bothering me,” says Suchon, who lives in Tijuana, Mexico.
Many mental health experts recommend journaling because it can improve your mood and manage symptoms of depression. Studies support this and suggest journaling is good for your mental health. It may also make therapy work better.
“Journaling is not a cure-all,” says licensed professional counselor Jill Howell, but there are plenty of benefits.
How Journaling Helps With Depression
There are several key ways that keeping a journal can help when you’re dealing with depression.
Makes you more aware. Journaling helps you get to know yourself better.
Expressing yourself in a journal can bring your thoughts and feelings to the surface. Many people are surprised by what they write, says Denver psychotherapist Cynthia McKay. You may discover you’re worried about something you didn’t know was upsetting you until you wrote it down.
You can keep your journal private or share it with your therapist. They can help you see what’s important and use it to help you move forward.
Lets you take control. When your thoughts and worries swirl around, putting pen to paper can cut down the chaos. “When we write things down, they feel more manageable,” says clinical psychologist Perpetua Neo, PhD.
Suchon agrees. She says writing helps her get things into perspective and puts a damper on feelings of worthlessness. “It brings me back to reality.”
Journaling helps you take an active role in your treatment. It empowers you to do something to help yourself feel better. It also helps you recognize when you feel worse and need extra help.
Shifts your viewpoint. Keeping a journal gives you a chance to use positive self-talk.
“I like to use gratitude journals and affirmation journals with my clients,” says Charlynn Ruan, PhD, a licensed clinical therapist. Ruan says writing about happy memories is especially powerful because depression tends to bring up negative feelings. “It’s like retraining your brain.”
Lets you notice patterns. A journal can help you track your symptoms. If you log how you feel every day, you may spot things that trigger your depression.
For example, you may notice symptoms get worse at a certain time of day, when you’re under stress, or when you’re in a challenging relationship. If you know your triggers, you can avoid them in the future.
Journaling may give you insight on how you’re doing over time. If you look back at older entries, you may notice trends. You’ll see if you’re feeling better, worse, or the same.
It can be a red flag that you need more help or reassurance that you’re doing OK. “It has helped me to go and look back at past entries and realize at how far I’ve come in treatment,” Suchon says.
Journaling Tips
Let it all out. Write about anything. Let your thoughts flow freely.
“I often tell my patients to write and rip,” Howell says. “When you know that no one will ever read what you’re writing, you’re much less inclined to edit or worry about spelling, grammar, or bad language.” The less you worry about writing, the more you benefit.
Write regularly. Try to journal on a regular basis. Every day is ideal. Aim for 20 minutes.
Look for a time and place when it’s quiet and you’re relaxed. You may find it’s easy to write in bed, before you go to sleep. You may have fewer distractions and can look back on your whole day.
Try new things. Write letters to yourself. Write to loved ones who are no longer with you. You can even write comforting words to yourself that you think your loved ones might say to you, Howell says.
Don’t get too negative. If you find yourself jotting down only negative thoughts, try to shift your writing in another direction.
It’s OK to write about things that aren’t positive, but put a limit on it. Don’t do it longer than 20 minutes, Ruan says.
Avoid rereading your negative writing. “Maybe even make a symbolic gesture of wadding up the page and throwing it away after writing it, as a feeling of emotional cleansing,” she says.
Make it easy. Set yourself up for success. Keep a pen and paper handy. Put your journal near your bed, in your bag, or in your car. Or write on your computer. phone, or tablet.
“It’s taken practice to remind myself,” Suchon says, “that no matter what I write, I know I feel better after I do it.”
Depression is a clinical diagnosis that requires a licensed professional to test for. It’s important to note that depression isn’t just one thing. It’s not just immense feelings of sadness or emptiness. There are many factors that professionals consider before providing a final diagnosis.
“Feeling empty alone does not automatically mean it is depression,” says board-certified psychiatrist Pia Quimson-Guevarra, D.O. “However, if you feel empty along with other symptoms such as having a sad or depressed mood, feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt, decreased interest or pleasure in activities, weight changes, fatigue, concentration difficulties, sleeping difficulties, subjective feelings of moving or thinking slower or faster, or thoughts of death or suicide, it could be depression.”
If you suspect you may be dealing with depression, consider finding a therapist who can support you in managing your symptoms. If you are considering harming yourself or someone else, call 9-8-8 (in the U.S.) to be connected with confidential support from the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or text HOME to 741741 to get connected to Crisis Text Line.
FRANKENMUTH, Mich. (WNEM) – Family and friends of those lost to suicide gathered at Bavarian In for the “Hope Starts Here” conference.
“it’s just a beautiful day, a wonderful event, where you’re surrounded by love and hope and caring and so much empathy in the room,” says Julie Hart who lost her nephew to suicide.
The event was held for International Day Survivors of Suicide Loss.
Hope Starts Here conference chair Barb Smith says, “there are events just like this all over the world being held. So this is our local event called Hope starts here is for anyone who has been impacted by suicide in a place to bring people together to let them know that they’re not alone in their grief journey.”
The annual event hosted by the Barb Smith Resource and Response Network brought guest speakers and more than a dozen vendors offering resources to help those grieving or struggling with the loss of their loved ones.
“We have a panel of families who have lost someone to suicide to talk about what their grief journey looked like and really the message of hope,” says Smith.
Organizers say suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in people between the ages of 10-22. And for every death to suicide there is 120-135 people who have been exposed to someone who has died by suicide.
“We have 1400 deaths to suicide in Michigan, you know, that’s a lot of people who’ve been impacted that struggle alone. And suffer alone because, you know, we don’t want to talk about it because sometimes it can bring shame or guilt or you know, just kind of that lack of understanding,” says Smith.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 2020, more than 45,000 people died by suicide in the United States; that is 1 death every 11 minutes, and in the same year 1.2 million adults have attempted suicide.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide you can call the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988.
The naturally occurring psychedelic compound psilocybin can significantly reduce symptoms of depression, according to data from the largest trial of its type ever conducted.
David Buzzard – media-centre.ca / Getty Images
LONDON — The naturally occurring psychedelic compound psilocybin can significantly reduce symptoms of depression, according to data from the largest trial of its type ever conducted.
Psilocybin was given to 233 patients who had already tried at least two antidepressants in the past with little success, suggesting the compound could have huge benefits for those suffering with hard-to-treat depression.
After receiving the psilocybin, patients entered a “walking dream-like” state for between four and six hours and then left the clinic once they had returned to their normal state.
The trial found that a 25mg dose of psilocybin, given alongside psychological support, triggered a reduction in levels of depression three weeks after treatment.
The study, published Thursday in the New England Journal of Medicine, was carried out internationally by London-based COMPASS Pathways.
Around 100 million people worldwide suffer with depression that is resistant to treatment, and so the findings of the study are a step in the right direction, according to James Rucker, consultant psychiatrist and senior clinical lecturer at King’s College London, who was involved in the study.
“Our task now is to investigate psilocybin for treatment-resistant depression in larger trials with more participants, comparing it both to placebo and to established treatments,” Rucker said, according to a King’s College London press release.
The drugs were trialed in doses of 1mg, 10mg and 25mg and adverse effects recorded across all groups included headaches, nausea and thoughts around suicide.
There was not, however, an equal number of “severely depressed” participants in each dosage group, according to Ravi Das, an associate professor at the University College London Institute of Mental Health, which “does not appear to be acknowledged in the paper,” as reported by Reuters.
Critics have also expressed concern that this could lead to a rise in usage of magic mushrooms in non-pharmaceutical settings.
No, I don’t mean the emotion (although that’s part of it).
I’m talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Luckily, we have some tips and tricks for treating SAD that our Online Coaching Clients use. Today, we’ll share them with you too.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
Disclaimer: We’re going to be discussing some issues that may be difficult for some going through a tough time. If you (or someone you know) aren’t coping so well, PLEASE see the links at the bottom of this article with some resources from all around the world. Obviously, we recommend discussing this information with your health professional – none of this is a diagnosis, but rather a starting point for discussion.
BUT, armed with the right weapons, we can ward off the winter monster, or even keep it in full hibernation.
From here, mental health wizard and resident NF Family Rebel Correspondent, Dan Schmidt, will take it away:
Most of us feel a little glum in winter…it’s natural to feel a little down.
Cold mornings, less time outside, and often it’s not as easy to get out and do our favorite things:
So for a lot of us, winter just sucks a little.
We’ve known something was up since the 6th century, but SAD remained a mythical creature until the 1980s in the West when it became officially recognized as a mood disorder. While we’re still not 100% sure of how it works; it’s pretty clear to see that SAD especially thrives in cooler, darker climates.
For example, studies show[1] SAD’s prevalence in the U.S. ranges from around 1% in Florida to 9% in Alaska. Looking around the world, in Oslo, Norway, around 14% of the population will be impacted by SAD,[2] while us lucky buggers Down Under are barely impacted at all, with estimates that only around 1 in 300 Aussies (0.33%)[3] will experience SAD during the “winter.”
Yes, SAD can occur for some people during summer and other seasons, but this is particularly rare compared to winter prevalence.
Common SAD symptoms include:
low mood for most of the day.
loss of interest in your usual activities.
drowsiness and low energy (lethargy).
fatigue, irritability, and severe mood swings.
Irregular sleep patterns (too much and/or too little)
eating more than usual, especially craving sugar and carbohydrates, leading to weight gain.
loss of interest in things you normally enjoy doing.
intrusive or disturbing thoughts.
Depression is not just a fancy word for feeling “bummed out”, and SAD is just as serious as any other depression and needs to be dealt with promptly and effectively. (See the end of the article for a list of mental health services links.)
“But how do I know the difference between general winter glumness, or if I’m being mauled by the SAD beast like Leo in the Revenant?”
Ask yourself these questions:
“Do you feel like you can’t get yourself out of this rut?”
“Have you lost an interest in things that you usually enjoy?”
“Have you felt this way for more than two weeks?”
If so, then it could be time to have a chat with a professional and perhaps seek treatment. Once again, SAD is just as real and can be just as devastating as Major Depressive Disorder; the only difference is the yearly regular onset.
This bitter beast can take over someone’s entire well-being, and if left untreated, the consequences can be devastating.
So let’s learn how we can slay the SAD, or even better, keep it in hibernation this year, so we nerds can continue to conquer all year round.
As with any injury or illness boss battle, you need to use the right medicine weapon to save the day. And there are many weapons you can equip yourself with to slay SAD.
Here is how to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder:
#1) GET SOME LIGHT
Light helps the body produce serotonin (hormone that affects mood) and reduces the production of melatonin (hormone that makes you sleepy).[4]
Starting with natural light is best, even though it’s not always easy.If the sun happens to be peeking out from the clouds, try and get outside for a nice walk. Even on cold or cloudy days, outdoor light can help, particularly in the morning. Just make sure you bundle up properly. The Norwegians have a saying “There is no bad weather, only bad clothing!”
Also, making your work and home environments as light and airy as possible and sitting near windows can help too.
If you feel you’re just simply not able to get enough natural light, ‘Light Therapy’is generally one of the first weapons picked up to slay SAD.[5] It can start alleviating symptoms in just a few days. It’s incredibly simple, and sitting under bright fluorescent globes or in front of a therapy lamp (again, particularly in the morning) has shown to be effective against SAD[6] (Anecdotal, but I once met a young woman who started to feel better just by increasing the wattage of her bedroom light globes).
Be forewarned that Light Therapy is not appropriate for everyone, including people with bipolar disorder – talk to a professional if this is a route you want to take.
#2) EXERCISE AND DIET
Surprise, surprise, our old friends come to the rescue once again. It’s clear[7] that exercise is key in keeping the blues at bay, so rug up and take a long walk, and be sure to work out when possible.
Exercise and other types of physical activity help relieve stress and anxiety, both of which can increase SAD symptoms.
If you’re really keen to take on winter, try the Winter Is Coming Workout, and start building that summer body early. For those who don’t like the freezing weather, that’s cool (get it?), you can always do Steve’s 20-minute hotel room workout (pro tip: you don’t actually need to be staying in a hotel room to do the workout… that was $250 I’ll never get back).
As for nutrition – while there is no well-established link between healthy nutritional practices and a reduction in SAD symptoms. BUT, studies HAVE shown links between healthy eating – like the Mediterranean diet – and a decrease in general depression.[8]
So anything we can do to eat healthy this time of year may certainly help.
Plus, Steve has already highlighted that if you’re going to eat unhealthy foods during winter, let’s at least be smart about it and negate the impact the holidays have on our waistlines. Try your best to provide a counterbalance to those comfort foods, and keep your diet as close as you can to what it is the rest of the year.
#3) GET SOME VITAMIN D
When exposure to sunlight is low, your body makes less Vitamin D.[9] According to this study,[10] Vitamin D deficiency affects nearly HALF of the world population. It is important for overall health. Our friends over at Examine say that if your diet is decent and there’s only one supplement you’re taking, it should probably be Vitamin D during these upcoming months.
The research is a little mixed when it comes to Vitamin D’s effectiveness in battling SAD,[11] but some studies[12] do show an improvement to everyone’s depression scale scores (those with or without SAD). Overall, if you aren’t getting enough sunlight in the winter, consider picking up some Vitamin D!
Recommendations differ for the amount of Vitamin D needed – or if you even need it – so further blood work and a talk with your doctor is a good choice here.
Meditation has been shown to help alleviate symptoms of depression.[13] Now, you don’t have to shed all your worldly possessions and go live in the mountains:
But if you’re suffering from the winter blues, a simple mindfulness practice may help. Even just a few minutes a day can go a long way.
If you want, Nerd Fitness Journey has a meditation adventure to help you build up the habit.
It’s free to try, right here:
#5) EMBRACE THE SEASON
Going back to foreign sayings – there’s a Danish concept of “hygge.”
While there’s no direct English translation, it essentially means coziness and comfort
Things like:
Wrapping yourself up in a blanket.
Enjoying a good book.
Or sitting by a warm fire.
So instead of lamenting the change of seasons – EMBRACE these other experiences that we get to enjoy.
#6) THERAPY
Talk Therapy (Psychotherapy) and cognitive behavioral therapy sound scary but really aren’t.
Psychotherapy focuses on helping you to build skills to deal with the stresses in your life, along with identifying and changing negative thinking patterns.
Therapies such as these assist with relearning some of the patterns and thoughts in your life that aren’t doing you any good.
It can feel daunting and really weird ‘opening up’ to a stranger at first.
But having a coach to talk through your negative thoughts and feelings, someone who can teach you to manage those better, is generally quite effective.
Most people will notice an improvement in as little as two weeks. Really, the “weird” stigma is usually the biggest barrier to even doing the thing in the first place!
#7) MEDICATION
Finally, some people with SAD benefit from antidepressant treatment, especially if symptoms are severe. We’re not here to offer any medical advice, so please see your doctor if you think medication may assist you.
It’s normal to have some days when you feel down, and the holiday season can be especially hard for some.
When short days and miserable weather are piled on top of this, it’s easy to see why ‘winter blues’ is so common. But if you feel down for days at a time and you can’t get motivated to do activities you normally enjoy, please speak to someone and see your doctor. This is especially important if your sleep patterns and appetite have changed, you feel a sense of hopelessness, you have intrusive thoughts, or you turn to alcohol/substances for comfort or relaxation.
Above all, take care of yourself this winter:
Be sure to get enough rest, and take the time to relax.
Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or health professional if you feel you’re having a tough time.
And if someone reaches out to you, remember: We are Rebels, we fight conventional wisdom and smash stigmas. Never leave a fellow nerd behind.
If you feel the bitter, arctic beast starting to rise from its summer slumber, remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to slay the frosty fiend. You are strong enough to beat this, and the entire Rebellion has your back.
Want a little more from us?
If you want to continue your journey with Nerd Fitness, we have three great ways for you to do so:
#1) Our Online Coaching Program: a coaching program for busy people to help them make better food choices, stay accountable, and get healthier, permanently.
You can schedule a free call with our team so we can get to know you and see if our coaching program is right for you. Just click on the button below for more details:
#2) If you want an exact roadmap for getting fit, check out NF Journey. Our fun habit-building app helps you exercise more frequently, eat healthier, and level up your life (literally).
Plus, we have Missions specifically designed to help you stay active, no matter what the weather is like outside.
Try your free trial right here:
#3) Join the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.
Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out at home” guides, the Nerd Fitness Diet Cheat Sheet, and much more!
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Alright, that does it for me. Rebels, take care of yourself and each other.
Do you have your own secret weapon to slay the SAD? We’d love to hear from all you Rebels about how you keep your mind healthy during winter; the more ideas we all have, the better! Let us know in the comments!
– Dan
PS – If you, or someone you know, would like further support, here are some excellent links and services that will get you started in the right direction:
You have hepatitis C, a disease caused by a virus that’s contagious and attacks the liver. Maybe you know how you got it. Maybe you don’t.
Whatever the case, the virus could be just part of the problem. Now that the doctor has told you that you have hep C, get ready to battle a range of head-spinning emotions that often can be as difficult to deal with as the virus itself.
There are ways to calm your nerves and ease your mind.
What You’re Facing
Fear and anxiety: Most people with hepatitis C don’t have any symptoms. Even if you’ve had it for years, you may not have the fever, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and other things that some folks with the virus have.
Still, doctors will tell you that hepatitis C is a serious disease that can cause lasting damage to the liver, including cancer and a scarring of the liver (cirrhosis). Hepatitis C is, in a word, scary.
“I think fear is probably the first thing: ‘What does it mean?’ ” says Lucinda K. Porter, RN, author of two books about her experience with hep C.
“If you don’t know anything about hepatitis C, and you go on the Internet — which a lot of people seem to go to before they go to their physicians — you might see a full variety of outcomes, including death. Or see that this is an infectious disease and get the fear you might infect someone else. That’s a huge fear.”
The fears keep coming:
Is it going to be debilitating?
Can you infect someone else?
Will you be able to work?
How are you going to pay for your treatment?
How are you going to take care of your family?
How are you going to pay the mortgage?
“Once you learn more, you find out that hep C doesn’t work like that,” says Porter, who works as a hepatitis C advocate, writing for hepmag.com and hcvadvocate.org. “If you find out about it in an early stage and get some good, solid information, you find out that those fears don’t usually get realized.”
Remember: In many cases, the medicines that your doctor prescribes can pretty much wipe the virus out of your body.
“There is nothing to be afraid of. No matter how you got the infection, now we have a group of different, good therapies that can get rid of this infection,” says Victor Machicao, MD, a gastroenterologist with McGovern Medical School at UTHealth-Houston.
“I usually tell [people] there’s a good chance that, you start taking the treatments, you’re going to start feeling better, and by the time that we complete the therapy, you’re going to feel almost like a new person.”
Embarrassment and shame: Hepatitis C gets spread through exposure to an infected person’s blood. That’s the only way. Often, that’s how intravenous drug users, sharing needles, spread the virus. Sometimes, it gets passed down through high-risk sex. Before 1992, when blood wasn’t screened for hepatitis C in the U.S., it often was passed along through transfusions and organ transplants, too.
Some of those activities — drug use and high-risk sex, especially — are what many people associate with hepatitis C. That thinking creates a stigma that makes people who have the disease not want to tell others about it.
“So many of [the people I treat] are those baby boomers who did have a brief period of experimentation with drug use. Or maybe they did use drugs for a year or two of their adolescence. But now, that’s like 30 years ago,” says Andrew Muir, MD, a hepatologist who is chief of the Division of Gastroenterology at Duke Clinical Research Institute in Durham, NC.
“Often, they’re not married to somebody that they knew back then … it’s embarrassing, then you’re worried about what that person is going to think of you, and then when you realize that there may be a chance that you’ve passed on the virus through sex. … All these things are spiraling around in their heads.”
Guilt: “There’s a lot of guilt, especially in someone who has a remote history of IV drug use, or got a tattoo at an unregulated parlor, or had a high-risk sexual encounter,” says Nancy Reau, MD, section chief of hepatology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.
People feel guilty about the possibility that they’ve infected others unknowingly. They feel guilty about putting loved ones in a situation that is often financially and emotionally costly. Sometimes, it can be too much for a person to handle.
Regret: People with the disease often beat themselves up for not making better choices when they contracted the virus.
“At that point, I tell every single one of my [folks] that there’s not a single one of us that wouldn’t go back and change a decision that we’ve made,” Reau says. “To some extent, looking back isn’t going to help us. We have to look forward.”
Anger: “Anger is not an uncommon one. Anger is one of those emotions that make us feel like we’re empowered,” says Porter, who got hepatitis C in 1988 through a blood transfusion.
For some, it comes from the fact that they had nothing to do with what gave them the virus.
“I didn’t react with anger because in my case, that blood transfusion saved my life. But other people … can feel quite angry, and they feel quite victimized by that. I find [this] one is probably the hardest to address. Sometimes I just acknowledge that they feel angry.”
Depression: The virus, the symptoms that may accompany it, all the emotions — it can be difficult to handle.
Muir says a common scenario, in his experience, is a drug user who addresses the problem of addiction, goes in for treatment, and just as things start looking better, finds out they have hepatitis C.
“I find a lot of them are really down on themselves: ‘I’m a bad person, I did this, I’m being punished for it.’ We really need to try to change the way they feel about that,” Muir says.
“I was a mess. I felt dirty. I was hard on myself,” says Stella Armstrong, a Las Vegas office manager who got the virus through drug use. Armstrong is now virus-free and is a hepatitis C advocate and member of the National Patient Advisory Committee for the American Liver Foundation. “I had to seek counseling. I had to see a psychiatrist. I was taking depression and anxiety medicine.”
How to Get Help
Talk to your medical team. Meet with your doctor and anyone else you might need (a hepatologist or pharmacist, for example). Get a plan. Follow treatment.
“You start there. Always,” Porter says.
Don’t underestimate the power of feeling physically better. It’s good for your mind, too.
Once again, the virus can disappear in many of those who have hepatitis C.
“People are surprised. They ask you, ‘Doctor, did you mean ‘cure’?” Machicao says. “They come to the office and say, ‘Doctor, that means I don’t have the infection anymore?’ I tell them, ‘For practical purposes, you’re cured.’ They are in total disbelief. It is amazing.”
“The success of being cured of hepatitis C is really powerful,” says Muir.
If you feel depression or anxiety, the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that you talk to your primary doctor or go to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Depression is a real illness and, even in the most severe cases, it’s treatable with medication or other means.
Get educated. Find trusted sites online. Ask your doctor questions. Know what the virus is all about. Separate fact from fiction.
“Education is how we start breaking down the stereotypes. How we find out we don’t need to be afraid anymore,” Porter says. “It can release the chains of anger.”
Find some support. It can help to talk with other people who have been through what you have. Your doctor can point you toward online groups filled with people who are going through the same process. In some places, you can meet with people in person. Social services through government agencies or hospitals can help, too.
“When you start to see other people who have a history of drug use, that regret and shame starts to diminish. ‘OK. I’m not a bad person. I can deal with this,’ ” Porter says.
“I’ve always been open and have discussed my addiction with drugs. I think it’s the best thing. We only stay as sick as our secrets,” Armstrong says. “It was better for me to share my story. It’s still the same thing. It’s still hepatitis C, and we have to get through it.”
Lean on family, friends, clergy, whomever it takes. Whether it’s someone else who has been through hepatitis C, or a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or your best friend — even if it’s a complete stranger — sometimes you just need a shoulder or a sympathetic ear. Search them out. Use them.
“No matter how much positive you can hear about it, you still have to go home, you still have to be at a point by yourself, thinking these bad thoughts and you’re worried and you’re scared and you’re scared of the unknown,” Armstrong says. “Those are the times you have to call somebody and talk to them.”
Take care of yourself. Once you get your medical plan in place, once you have your support in line, once you’re educated and know what you’re facing, taking a little “me” time is in order.
“Having a chronic illness is hard,” Reau says. “Start by looking at the things you can change easily.”
Eat well. Exercise. Get your sleep. Some people like to meditate. Nap if you need to nap. Make sure you’re around people you like. Enjoy a good book or a movie. All these can help you deal with the stress and emotions of hepatitis C.
“Even at my lowest point and when I was feeling really sick, you just gotta keep moving. You have no other choice,” Armstrong says. “You have to keep moving forward and treating yourself well.”
FRIDAY, Oct. 21, 2022 (HealthDay News) — Just about anyone who’s ever dealt with a toxic work environment can tell you about the toll it takes on your physical and mental health.
Now, the U.S. government is backing that perception up with some evidence.
U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released a report on Thursday that links low wages, discrimination, harassment, overwork and long commutes to physical health conditions, including cancer and heart disease. Depression and anxiety can also result from these toxic workplaces.
“The COVID-19 pandemic has changed the nature of work, and the relationship many workers have with their jobs. The link between our work and our health has become even more evident,” Murthy said in the report.
He cited five components of a healthy workplaces, which are protection from harm, connection and community, work-life harmony, mattering at work and opportunity for growth.
Growing a work culture to emphasize these principles can help promote inclusion, fair wages and opportunities for employees to advance, the Surgeon General’s office said.
Instilling those values “will require organizations to rethink how they protect workers from harm, foster a sense of connection among workers, show them that they matter, make space for their lives outside work, and support their long-term professional growth,” Murthy said. “This may not be easy. But it will be worth it, because the benefits will accrue to both workers and organizations. A healthy workforce is the foundation for thriving organizations and a healthy community.”
The report comes at a time when the pandemic and shifts to working at home helped workers find a work-life balance.
“These [work and home] role conflicts can magnify psychological stress, increase the risk for health behaviors such as smoking, unhealthy dietary habits, alcohol and substance use, and medication overuse, and cause disruptions to relationships both at work and at home,” the report found.
“When people feel anxious or depressed, the quality, pace and performance of their work tends to decline,” the report said.
Gabriella Kellerman, chief product officer at corporate coaching platform BetterUp, agreed with the theory that employee well-being equals good business, CBS News reported.
“In this day and age, given the nature of work, there is a tremendous amount of uncertainty from companies and the external environment that is inherently challenging to our mental well-being and role, and companies have a role to play in supporting their employees for moral reasons, but also because it’s good for the bottom line of their businesses,” Kellerman said.
“The fact that this is actually recommended by the Surgeon General is extremely important as a statement,” she added. “They are giving employers concrete recommendations on what matters most to support employees’ well-being. Getting this granular and prescriptive is a new level of involvement, and of guidance, that is novel.”
Vincent Macaluso, MD, found out he had multiple sclerosis (MS) when he was in medical school. Today, he treats people who have MS at his clinic in New Hyde Park, NY.
He understands that MS can change the way you think, feel, and act better than most people. He also knows firsthand how hard it can be to explain this to others.
Symptoms like memory problems and depression happen because MS affects the way your brain works. Although these problems can have a huge impact on your life, other people may not always know you have them. Macaluso says it’s common for people with MS to look fine on the outside but not feel fine on the inside.
It can go the other way, too. Tim Vartanian, MD, director of the Judith Jaffe Multiple Sclerosis Center in New York, says family members or co-workers may notice the changes first.
Either way, it’s important to let those closest to you know what’s going on now and what could happen down the road. This helps them better understand any changes they see. They can also offer help when and if you need it.
Cognitive Problems
At some point, more than half the people with MS will have cognitive problems. (Some people with MS call it “cog fog.”) Vartanian says the most common symptoms are:
Slowed thinking
Fuzzy memory
Trouble with executive function — your ability to plan and do things
And sometimes you just might not feel as sharp as you used to.
People with MS can have some or all of these things. But for most, memory problems top the list. Vartanian says MS can affect recent memories or those in the distant past.
For many, though, day-to-day symptoms are often mild. But even minor lapses can be a challenge. (Memory problems are one of the main reasons people with MS stop working.)
To explain how this feels, try putting it in terms others can relate to. You could say, “Remember how upset you were when you couldn’t find your car keys yesterday? As my MS goes on, that could happen to me more often.”
People with MS should work with a doctor called a neuropsychologist who can suggest ways to sharpen the mind. This includes both mental and physical exercises. Things that can affect how well your brain works, like “depression, anxiety, and stress, all need to be addressed head-on,” Vartanian says.
Let your loved ones know things that can help you manage the memory problems that come with MS.
Keep it cool. Damaged nerves don’t work well in the heat. That’s why many (but not all) people with MS think and learn better when it’s cool. To improve focus, spend time with your friends in a cool, quiet place without distractions. (Step away from Netflix!) Let them know that’s the goal in case you forget now and then.
Make to-do lists. Many people with MS say they lose track of bits of paper. Instead, you may use a small recorder you can hang around your neck or the voice recorder on your phone. And let your friends know you’re doing it so they can help.
Set a routine. Put your car keys, phone, and glasses in the same place so you always know where they are. Let your loved ones know where that place is, so if they spot them someplace else, they can put them back.
Sound the alarm. Use bells and whistles on your phone or computer to remind you to do things. Loved ones can set the same alarms so they can remind you in case you forget what the alarm is for.
Put it on repeat. When someone tells you something, repeat it to them. That way, it’s more likely to stick in your mind — and theirs.
Depression
Depression is one of the most common MS symptoms. It can be hard to discuss. Some people see it as a sign of weakness. Others feel embarrassed or ashamed. And when you’re depressed, it’s normal to want to withdraw from others.
But it’s important to share how you’re feeling with people close to you. Explain that depression is a natural part of the process of MS and it needs treatment, just like any other symptom. It isn’t something you can snap out of. And despite their best efforts, your friends and family probably won’t be able to cheer you up.
Jessica Thomas is a social worker in Greensboro, NC. She has MS, as do many of the people she sees. She says that while a counselor can help manage the emotions of living with MS, people who are depressed may need medication, too. She also notes that people need an MS-free zone — “a part of life or a passion that MS may not interfere with.”
Exercise is a crucial piece, too. It’s important for your overall health and well-being. It also helps almost every aspect of MS and may work better for depression than antidepressant medicine. So you can tell a friend that a workout partner can really help you stay on track.
Also tell those closest to you that these things can help keep depression away:
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Fans of Naomi Judd, the late matriarch of the Grammy-winning country duo The Judds, will have a chance to say goodbye and rejoice in their hits in a final tour helmed by daughter Wynonna and all-star musical partners.
The Judd family continues to grieve her sudden death during a year that should have been a celebration. The tour was announced only weeks before Naomi Judd, 76, took her life on April 30, the day before their induction into the Country Music Hall of Fame.
“It’s devastatingly beautiful to go back to the past and relive some of these memories,” said Wynonna Judd this week as she sat on a tour bus after rehearsals. “Yesterday I was in rehearsal and there’s a part in the show where they sync up Mom singing with me. And I turned around and I just lost it.”
The 11-city tour starts Friday night in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and will include stops in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Fort Worth, Texas, and Nashville before ending in their home state in Lexington, Kentucky. Special guests include Brandi Carlile, Ashley McBryde, Little Big Town, Kelsea Ballerini, Trisha Yearwood, Faith Hill and tour opener Martina McBride.
Judd’s husband Larry Strickland, and her two daughters, Wynonna and Ashley, reflected on their mother’s legacy, not only in music, but as a caregiver and an advocate. The red-headed duo scored more than a dozen No. 1 hits, combining young Wynonna’s powerful vocals with Naomi’s family harmonies and stage charm. Reflecting their Appalachian roots with polished pop stylings, their hits included “Why Not Me,” “Mama He’s Crazy,” “Rockin’ With the Rhythm of the Rain,” and “Love Can Build a Bridge.”
Naomi’s husband of nearly 33 years said he hopes that fans feel uplifted to hear their hit songs performed again in arenas. But he knows he will struggle when he sees his wife on the big screens or hears her voice again.
“I’m having trouble now just seeing pictures of her. I don’t know how much I can handle,” Strickland said.
Strickland said his wife was excited to tour again with her daughter because she loved the connection with the fans. The storyline of the single mother supporting two daughters becoming one of the biggest duos in country music history, along with Naomi’s flashy wardrobe and bubbly approachability, made fans identify with her.
“She loved being on the stage and singing,” Strickland said. “She loved people. And she would do her twisting and twirling. She was the harmony singer. She was all about her hair and the little dresses that she would have made. And so that was her world.”
Her family has endless stories of Naomi Judd’s empathy and passion for helping, her love of animals, especially dogs, and her desire to learn. A nurse by trade before her music career, she was on the board of the American Humane Association and was a member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Her daughter Ashley recalled how she walked around with $20 and $50 bills in her bra and would hand them out to people, especially women.
Wynonna Judd said that recently she visited the same hospital outside Nashville where her mom died. And she noticed that on one of the walls in the emergency room were pictures of volunteers who helped assist patients.
“And there’s a picture of my mother in the cutest little wig and she has her name tag, ‘Naomi Judd,’” she said.
Naomi Judd struggled most of her life with depression, which she shared openly in her book “River of Time: My Descent into Depression and How I Emerged With Hope.” Her family said she was also being treated for bipolar disorder and PTSD.
“That’s the complexity of this issue, because my mother, even in her darkest hour, would put on her wig and go down to the emergency room and help other people during their emergencies,” Wynonna Judd said, her strong voice cracking. “So I find it pretty devastating that she got to a point where she was done helping herself.”
Strickland, too, noted how mental illness affected his wife. Despite feeling incredibly excited for the tour, her mental state was deteriorating, he said. Strickland said she was seeing a psychiatrist, but her depression was resistant to treatment, and they were trying different types of medication to help her.
“The lows that she would experience with her mental illness just seemed to get worse,” he said.
Since The Judds debuted in the 1980s, the family has lived under the public eye, headlining awards shows and appearing on magazine covers, in books and TV shows. But Naomi’s death has only intensified scrutiny, to the point where the family is dispelling rumors that there is a dispute over the estate. Strickland, who is Ashley and Wynonna’s stepfather, was named the executor of the estate.
Ashley Judd said it was “obviously natural, good, and proper that Mom’s estate would flow to Pop, her partner of 43 years and then upon his eventual passing, come to her daughters.”
The actor was with her mother when she died and has advocated for the family’s legal request to keep police investigative records relating to her mother’s death from being publicly released. After an appeal, the Tennessee Supreme Court sent the case back to the lower court. Ashley Judd said that privacy should be afforded to any family dealing with suicide.
“We are an open family,” she said. “We’re committed to raising awareness about the walk with mental illness and reducing shame and stigma, guiding people towards resources, and helping families build resistance to and resilience from the devastation. And there’s also a certain dignity and decency that’s necessary around the actual day of the death.”
Wynonna Judd said since her mother’s death, people who have had similar experiences have reached out to her to ask that mental illness resources and information are provided to fans during the tour.
“This is very real to me. This is not just show business. This is an opportunity to help someone out there not end their life,” she said. “We must get rid of the stigma of the words mental illness because people will not reach out for help.”
Wynonna’s relationship with her mother was sometimes filled with drama, but it continues to this day, when she sits under a tree at her home in Tennessee and processes her grief. “I love my mother and she makes me crazy still. Your relationship with your mother never ends,” she said. “I still talk to her and it’s awesome and it’s hard.”
The family wants the fans to remember Naomi Judd as a beautiful, talented, smart and colorfully complex woman, who had highs and lows, and was honest about her journey.
“I want them to see that in adversity, in death, there is life,” said Wynonna Judd.
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The national suicide and crisis lifeline is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org.
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Online: https://www.thejudds.com/
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Follow Kristin M. Hall at https://Twitter.com/kmhall
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