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How Thanking Your Past Self Yields a High ROI in Leadership

I found a habit hack that takes two seconds, feels silly, and has become one of the most reliable mindset tools I use. After an air-travel-heavy fall speaking season, I was seated at one of my last events of the year, sipping coffee before heading onstage. I opened my phone to check the week ahead and spotted something in my calendar that made me squeal in delight. “I scheduled a massage on Monday. Hell, yes, Past Henna! Smashed that.” 

The two women next to me at breakfast burst into giggles. “Do you always thank ‘Past Henna’ when you see stuff like that?” I paused and realized, yes. Yes, I do. I realized I’ve been doing it for years without ever hearing anyone talk about it. 

This silly ritual—thanking my past self for making a good decision—might sound like cute self-talk, but it’s not fluff. It’s a surprisingly powerful mindset tool with real scientific muscle behind it. Recent research shows that when you acknowledge a smart prior choice, you strengthen three internal drivers that shape how you plan, follow through, and make decisions in the future. Think of it as habit architecture with a personal twist. 

You strengthen your sense of future-self continuity 

Most people assume their future self is simply them, but older. The research suggests something different. Studies at UCLA have shown for more than a decade that many people relate to their future selves the way they relate to a stranger: vaguely, abstractly, and without much emotional investment. 

Newer research deepens that insight. A 2022 study found that short rituals that emphasize the connection between past, present, and future selves tighten this “identity bridge.” When that bridge feels solid, you make clearer long-term choices and delay gratification more easily. Thanking my past self for scheduling that massage, finishing a deck early, or prepping travel details ahead of time creates a loop: past me, present me, and future me. That loop is a continuity cue, and continuity cues reduce the psychological distance that usually sabotages long-view thinking. 

You reward identity, not just behavior 

Most habit frameworks focus on a cycle of cue, routine, and reward. Helpful, yes, but the thing that truly takes root is identity-based reinforcement. “I’m the kind of person who follows through.” 

A 2020 study found that small internal acknowledgments strengthen what researchers call self-congruence rewards. In summary, when your actions align with the type of person you believe you are, the brain treats it like a meaningful win. 

When I say, “Thanks, Past Henna!” I’m not patting myself on the back. I’m reinforcing the belief that I am someone who plans. Someone who reduces friction for future me. Someone whose decisions line up with her values and goals. Identity rewards carry far more motivational weight than behavioral rewards. They shape how you act next time without needing a pep talk. 

You reduce the mental drag of regret 

Regret is a sneaky tax on your cognitive bandwidth. Not the dramatic kind—more the low-grade, “ugh, I wish I had set this up sooner” version that slows you down. When you acknowledge something past you did well, you’re sending a message to your brain: This kind of prep pays off. That tiny internal nod feels good, but more important, it reinforces the mental association between foresight and relief. Your mind starts keeping a friendlier scorecard, “Good planning helps me.” That kind of reinforcement is what people actually repeat. 

You build self-compassion that improves follow through 

Most of the time, the way you talk to your past self is unkind. Why didn’t I do this earlier? Why did I make that choice? Why wasn’t I more disciplined? 

Flipping the script builds a soft skill with hard benefits. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion continues to show that treating yourself with care (even retroactively) strengthens resilience, increases follow-through, and protects against burnout. Gratitude toward your past self reinforces capability rather than deficiency.  

Why this matters right now 

In a world of compressed timelines, more change than clarity, and competing demands on your attention, anything that reduces mental friction is a strategic advantage. As planning horizons shrink—especially for Millennials and Gen-Z—tools that reinforce long-view thinking become even more valuable. 

Even tech platforms are experimenting with this idea. New studies in human-AI interaction show that prompting people to message a future-self avatar increases feelings of calm, improves planning, and reduces anxiety spikes during tough decisions. Translation: Your brain loves continuity, and you don’t need an app to build it. 

A quick example in practice 

Earlier this year, I made a call six months ahead to decline a low-paying speaking engagement so I could free up space for a project that mattered more. When that project paid off, I whispered to myself, quietly but sincerely, “Thanks, Past Henna.” 

That moment did three things: It affirmed the identity. It reinforced the timeline bridge, and it reminded me that caring for my future self is a high return-on-investment habit. 

Find one thing—just one—that past you set in motion. Maybe you prepped for a meeting, blocked your calendar, saved a lead, or declined an invitation that would have drained your focus. Pause for a second, acknowledge it, and say thanks. It may feel a little awkward at first, but you’re doing it for clarity, not comedy. (It doesn’t hurt that it makes people smile, though!) 

Try it once and watch what happens: Your past self might be the teammate you’ve needed all along. 

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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Henna Pryor

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