Child’s Diary Completely Devoid Of Any Useful Dirt On Other Parent

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Sighing as she shoved the journal back under their daughter’s mattress, local woman Lori Trent reported Monday that her child’s diary was completely devoid of any useful dirt on her soon-to-be ex-husband. “Great, I spent all afternoon reading that drivel for absolutely no reason,” said the 46-year-old in the middle of a contentious divorce, lamenting the fact that her daughter’s new crush, friends, and blossoming eating disorder had little to offer in the way of legal leverage. “Thanks a lot, Heather—what a complete waste of time. There’s absolutely nothing but praise for her good-for-nothing father, yet there’s countless entries about my new boyfriend’s penchant for watching her sleep. It must be written in some kind of code where the words have opposite meanings, but it will be hard to convince the judge that’s what’s going on.” At press time, Trent was reportedly frustrated after finding nothing in her son’s room but drawings of some blond lady and a younger man bleeding out.