Losing a loved one is an extremely painful and difficult experience. If the death of a family member is caused by the intentional actions or negligence of an entity or another person, it is considered wrongful death. The surviving family can file a lawsuit against the negligent party and claim compensation for their losses. Wrongful death cases can be filed against a company, individual, government agency, or employee.
By filing a claim, the family can recover the losses they incurred due to the death of their loved one. However, according to the law, the person who files the claim bears the burden of proof. It means you have to prove the defendant’s negligence. But is proving negligence challenging? Kind of. If you get the help of wrongful death attorneys, it can be quite easy. A lawyer can significantly improve your chances of proving negligence and obtaining fair compensation. Proving negligence is hard if you don’t have an attorney by your side.
There are various factors that need to be considered when claiming financial compensation. Surviving families can get compensation for economic and non-economic losses.
Below are various types of compensation that can be recovered in a wrongful death case.
Medical Expenses
The family may get compensation for the medical treatments the victim received before passing away. It covers surgery expenses, emergency room costs, hospital bills, medication expenses, and other medical care directly associated with the incident. It is necessary to collect and document all the relevant medical bills and records to support your wrongful death claim process.
Pain and Suffering
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Pain and suffering are also called “survivorship claims.” It covers compensation for the physical pain and emotional suffering experienced by the victim before passing away. In addition, family members can recover damages for the suffering, pain, and mental anguish caused by the death of their beloved one. This type of compensation can differ depending on several things, such as the nature of the death, the relationship with the deceased, and the impact on the life of the surviving family member.
Funeral and Burial Expenses
Due to someone else’s intention, actions, or negligence, suppose your loved one passed away. Then, the family can claim compensation for the funeral expenses. It covers expenses such as burial plots, funeral home services, transportation, markers, headstones, urns, or caskets, and other cremation expenses.
Punitive Damages
Punitive damages may be granted if the responsible party’s conduct is considered egregious, malicious, or reckless and also represents a willful disregard for the safety of others. As compared to other compensation types, punitive damages are not only designed to compensate the family for their losses. Rather, they are implemented to punish the wrongdoer and prevent the same behavior in the future.
The surviving family members may experience a huge loss of economic support if the deceased person is the only person who contributed economically to the family. The family may be entitled to compensation for the benefits and lost income. It covers the retirement benefits, bonuses, salary, wages, and other economic contributions that the deceased person would have offered to the family during their expected lifetime.
The type and amount of compensation that can be recovered in a wrongful death lawsuit are based on several factors, such as income, health, age, and relationship with the deceased. The liability of the defendant and the degree of fault, the impact and extent of the damages suffered by the surviving family, the statute of limitations, and applicable state laws.
Proving a wrongful death case can be a challenging and complex task that requires negotiation skills, evidence collection, and courtroom experience. Dealing with a wrongful death lawsuit alone could be difficult. That’s why it is necessary to consult with an experienced wrongful death attorney in order to get a better understanding of the compensation that can be claimed in your particular situation and to make sure that your rights are well protected in every part of the legal process.
The older you get, the more likely the people you meet while online dating are to have children from a previous relationship. While this dynamic can require extra patience, understanding and a willingness to adapt, it can also be hugely rewarding. To help you navigate this unique journey, here are six rules for dating a single parent…
Open communication is vital
Clear and honest communication is vital when dating a single parent. You should discuss expectations, boundaries, and concerns openly and early on. This will help establish a solid foundation of trust, ensure that both partners are on the same page and stop any resentment building up.
Respect Their Parenting Responsibilities
Single parents are super busy and their primary commitment is to their child, so you need to be aware of this and prepared to fit in where you can. Plans may change or be cancelled at the last minute, which might be frustrating, but getting cross about it won’t help. On the flipside, you know you’ll know your dating a committed and kind person, which will only be good for your relationship.
Be Flexible and Understanding
Flexibility is key when dating a single parent. Understand that their schedule will revolve around their children’s activities, appointments, and school commitments. This could work really well if you’re often busy yourself, value time alone, or enjoy spending lots of time with your own friends and family. There are positives to be found in every situation.
Develop a Connection with the Children
When dating a single parent, it’s important to establish a positive connection with their children. Take an interest in their lives, engage in activities together, and be supportive and understanding. Building a bond with the children can strengthen the overall relationship. However, it’s also important that you…
Avoid Rushing into a Parental Role
While developing a connection with the children is important, it’s crucial to avoid rushing into a parental role. Give the parent-child relationship space to grow naturally. Let the single parent take the lead in parenting decisions, and offer support and guidance when appropriate.
Practice Self-Care and Patience
Dating a single parent can be demanding at times, so practicing self-care and patience is crucial. Find ways to maintain your own well-being and emotional balance. Understand that blending families takes time and that building a strong, lasting relationship requires patience and understanding from both partners.
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U.S. District Court Judge Robert Hinkle didn’t mince words in his barnburner of an opinion striking down Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ draconian anti-trans bill. In his opinion for Doe v. Ladapo, Hinkle wrote: “Pushing individuals away from their transgender identity is not a legitimate state interest.”
On a new episode of Boom! Lawyered, Jess and Imani break down the decision and what’s next for trans rights in the Sunshine State.
Rewire News Groupis a nonprofit media organization, which means that Boom! Lawyered is only made possible by the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donatinghere.
And sign up forThe Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.
My parents were married for over 50 years. Although the length of their marriage may cause some to think it must have been easy for them, it couldn’t be further from the truth. It was a struggle, and even though my Dad was a pastor, it didn’t keep him and my Mom from experiencing conflict throughout their married lives, even looking once like their marriage was ending. Thankfully, Mom and Dad stuck it out for the long run, and we, their family, are deeply grateful to God for helping them. 1 Timothy 6:12 describes what my parents accomplished and, as a pastor and wife, the many witnesses they had outside our family:
My purpose in discussing their struggles is not to expose their weaknesses or failures but to encourage struggling couples to hang in there. I also hope it encourages children to be compassionate and understanding concerning their parents’ failures rather than despising them for their shortcomings and faults. Ephesians 4:2 urges us to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Although my parents struggled in their relationship with each other, it didn’t keep them from being wonderful parents. Mom and Dad were faithful in teaching me to love God, loving and caring for me, and generously providing for my needs.
No finger-pointing, please.
There are different ways to view my Mom and Dad’s marriage issues. One perspective is to be critical of them because they struggled in their relationship, making life extremely difficult for their family and easy to point fingers at their failures. Still, too many adult children are unforgiving towards their parents for several reasons, including marital conflict. Still, Colossians 3:13 urges,
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Another way to look at my parents’ marital struggles is that they were fighters, not only literally in conflict with each other but also in fighting the temptation to give up on their marriage. So, rather than focus on ways they disappointed and let us down, we can look at their strengths, such as enduring their marriage amid personal suffering. Whereas many couples succumb to the pressures, distress, and weariness of a trying marriage, my parents stuck with it, an accomplishment worthy of their family’s respect for hanging in there.
God works all things together for good.
Although it seems like life would have been much better for us all if there had not been conflict between my parents, perhaps seeing them work out strife in their marriage has, in the long run, helped us in ways to face our own marital challenges, ones we might not otherwise have had the fortitude to face. Gratefully, like my parents, we can trust God to work through our difficulties in a way that brings benefits and blessings into our lives. Romans 8:28 assures us,
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
4 things we learned through their struggles:
Below are four things God taught us through my parents’ struggles about not giving up and fighting the good fight of faith in marriage.
1. Difficulty isn’t a reason to quit.
Amid my parents’ marital struggles, they taught their children how to stay the course in marriage even when it’s hard. Seeing their struggles and how they worked through differences helped prepare and strengthen our family to commit to our own marriages, especially during tough times. Although most individuals want to point fingers at the wrong actions in their spouses as reasons to divorce, Matthew 19:8 pinpoints the heart of the matter, explaining, “Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.” In life and especially in marriage, God urges us to,
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).
It’s too easy to let our hearts grow cold and hard, but as painful as it can be to suffer in our marriages, God tells us, “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). Mom and Dad taught us that with God’s strength, we could resist hardening of the heart as a couple.
2.Longsuffering for the faith of our family is worth it.
Although it may seem like my parents weren’t thinking of us on the surface, they ultimately put their family’s well-being and future ahead of their own happiness. By being longsuffering in their marriage, they were able to reap the reward of seeing a family intact, of gathering to celebrate their 50+ years together. We witnessed “for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and till death do us part” triumphantly played out in life. When I think of my parent’s marriage, I don’t think of their failures but of their success in running the race, even if, at times, they stumbled and tripped up a bit. 2 Timothy 4:7 explains,
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
3.This life is just the beginning.
As much as my Mom and Dad struggled with living together on earth, they believed in the life to come with Jesus. Instead of thinking they had to chase after earthly happiness before it was too late, they realized that their actions lead to eternal results. 1 John 2:25 explains what we as believers in Jesus Christ have to look forward to, “And this is what He promised us—eternal life.” Likewise, following God’s will ultimately brings lasting joy in this life and the life to come. To chase after temporal happiness on earth is to throw away the eternal.2 Corinthians 4:18 encourages us,
“So fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
4. Reconciliation brings long-term rewards.
Sadly, my parents went through a time of separation. Although I was grown, married, and with children of my own during it, it felt devastating. Adulthood does not shield children from the suffering of their parents’ broken relationship. The breakdown of a marriage shakes a family to the core. Family members begin questioning their parents’ foundational teachings growing up, wondering if they are true. During the separation, my parents experienced the hurt it brought to our family, the loss of togetherness, and the absence of joy and peace. As much as they struggled with their relationship, Mom and Dad believed God’s words about marriage. They wanted to honor Him and not take His word on divorce lightly.
“’ The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful” (Malachi 2:16).
It was important for them to fulfill their covenant with God and to keep their vows to Him. Even though it was difficult, they put His will for their marriage over their own, staying with each other and being faithful to one another and God. With their decision to reconcile came relationship restoration and a renewed commitment to love one another regardless, no matter what, to stick together through thick and thin. 2 Corinthians 5:18 describes,
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
There’s no question that we are in the end times and that things are more and more difficult for kids these days. Just when you think one generation has had it tough, the next one faces more societal problems. Kids today have to deal with the effects of a worldwide pandemic, drugs that are much easier to access, racial and political tension, discussions in the classroom of gender and sex as young as kindergarten, exposure to transgender and homosexual ideas on television (even children’s channels), brands that promote anti-Christian lifestyles, easier access to pornography, greater homelessness and violence. And that’s on top of dealing with the everyday pressures that the enemy brings against our kids that cause anxiety and depression.
It’s difficult enough to navigate these waters when our kids and grandkids walk with the Lord. But what can a grandparent do when their children don’t share their Christian faith, and as a result, your grandchildren have no hope of the gospel?
How Did Your Kids Get Where They Are?
Whether your children are non-believers now because you didn’t lead them to faith in Christ when they were younger—or they fell away, you need to know the story. In conversation with them, siblings, or other family members, you can get an idea of what they believe and why. Is there a way that you can minister to them if you uncover a hurt? Was there an experience that soured them on God and church? Was it your own hypocrisy when raising them that turned them away? Confess that sin to God and your child and ask for their forgiveness.
Next, how do they feel about you talking about God in front of their children? Are they okay with it, or are they militantly against it? This will give you a basis for how you will be able to talk to your grandchildren.
It’s easy to be vocal about their faith because you know what is at stake. But ask the Holy Spirit to keep you humble and give you the words to speak. Too often, as believers, we can come across as a steamroller, and we need to leave room for how God wants to work in these people’s lives.
What Are the “Universals” That You Can Always Talk About?
I have a sibling who is an atheist, and yet we still can agree on many things (even though she doesn’t realize yet that all of these things have to do with God). Most people can agree on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness/loyalty, and self-control (the Fruit of the Spirit). I would also add honesty and fairness to that list. These are always topics to speak with your grandchildren about, and you can begin to weave Jesus into the conversation as the creator of all these good things.
Know the Parents’ Boundaries
I know a family where the grandparents can talk about God all they want, but when it comes to Christmas and Easter, a line is drawn with the parents. They insist that Santa and the Easter Bunny are practically worshiped, perhaps because it drowns out the holiness of the holiday. But there are still ways to talk about Santa being a man named Nicholas who gave generously to the poor and sick (he loved children almost as much as Jesus) and became Saint Nicholas, who is recognized every year for his care and concern. If the parents are open to it, you can invite the family to your church’s nativity story (put on by the children) and Easter egg hunt if you have one. Our church does a Christ-centered hunt that promotes the gospel and draws in non-believers.
Volunteer to Babysit and Do Outings As Much As Possible
More time spent with your grandchildren gives you greater opportunities to talk about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, especially concerning whatever problems the kids may be having. Talk about what’s going on in their lives and say, “When I deal with something like that, I remember that God said/did X.” Share Scriptures of hope to back it up. Kids and teens are so used to seeing “positive” messages that are self-focused, so sharing Scriptures of hope shouldn’t seem weird to them. Isaiah 41:10 is my favorite!
With little ones, you can buy Christian games or Sunday school materials to have at your home and participate with them. My granddaughter loves a board game called “Noah’s Animal Rescue” that emphasizes working together to reach a goal.
Teenagers have so many more things they are dealing with, and work and friends take up much of their time. But show your support by connecting with them and asking if they can hang out with you over a meal. If they make time for a free dinner, you have an opportunity to share the truth. They may not appreciate it now, but in future years they will treasure this positive, loving time they spent with you and how you were like Jesus to them.
If your children have relied on you to take care of their children for an extended period (maybe because of their work schedules), you have relieved their stress to a great extent. You’ve done them a great favor and have shown love to their child, so they may be much more open to you inviting your grandchild to church, Vacation Bible School, Youth Group, or another special church event.
Make Sure Your Walk Matches Your Talk
You can say all you want about the good news of Jesus Christ, but if your grandchildren don’t see you living out your faith, you may as well be mute. On the other hand, if they see that you act on your faith, they will be more likely to listen to what you share with them. Teens will be more likely to absorb some of that faith for themselves, even if they don’t know that’s what’s happening. I’ve heard it said, “You may be the only Jesus anyone will ever meet.” If that’s the case with your grandchildren, you have a very great responsibility, “for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” Matthew 10:20.
Let them see you reading the Bible and Christian books, listening to Christian music, giving to the poor, and helping the sick. Tell them why you do all of these things. This will surround your grandchildren with the gospel’s truth and show them how it changes every life it touches.
Enlist Another Family in Your Church To Pray and Influence
Perhaps your teenage grandchild goes to high school with one of the kids in your youth group. Can that student invite your grandchild to an event at church? Your grandchild may be more likely to go if they know someone there. And definitely ask this family to pray for your grandchild, and see how their home can be another place of sanctuary and witness when your grandchild is hanging out.
Don’t Let the Enemy Keep You From Leading Them to Christ
It’s hard work to influence your children and grandchildren if there is opposition. But remember that it’s not you they are rejecting. In her article, “How to Share the Gospel with Your Grandkids if the Parents are Non-Believers,” Annie Yorty said, “Your non-believing children, or even your grandkids, may tease you or mock your faith. Take on the humility of Christ (Philippians 2:5) rather than taking offense. Forgive and love rather than defending and arguing. God may use your meekness to prick their conscience.”
Most Importantly, Pray For and With Your Grandchildren
Never stop praying! Today may be the day your grandchild makes a decision for Christ, or their heart may be changing bit by bit. Either way, God placed this child in your family for a reason, and God is enlisting you in an effort to bring another into the kingdom. You bring Him honor and glory by trusting these children to Him in your consistent prayers and gospel actions.
Don’t give up, and don’t lose hope. Raising children to love the Lord may not be easy, but the eternal reward will be beyond your wildest expectations. Don’t believe that anyone is beyond salvation; with God, all things are possible!
Mary Oelerich-Meyer is a Chicago-area freelance writer and copy editor who prayed for years for a way to write about and for the Lord. She spent 20 years writing for area healthcare organizations, interviewing doctors and clinical professionals and writing more than 1,500 articles in addition to marketing collateral materials. Important work, but not what she felt called to do. She is grateful for any opportunity to share the Lord in her writing and editing, believing that life is too short to write about anything else. Previously she served as Marketing Communications Director for a large healthcare system. She holds a B.A. in International Business and Marketing from Cornell College (the original Cornell!) When not researching or writing, she loves to spend time with her writer daughter, granddaughter, rescue doggie and husband (not always in that order).
Having three daughters of various ages, all with their own unique make-up, personality, and set of skills, the emotional energy in our home is high and rather colorful. But don’t get me wrong. I love being a “girl mom.” God has slowly been working on my heart, giving me a fresh perspective with each new and emerging season. Thankfully, in time, I’ve not only grown in this role and learned to embrace it, but I can say that I truly appreciate it as well.
Even still, I must admit I have much more to learn. Especially when my words fall short, my actions don’t always demonstrate my love for them, creating distance and tension. Sigh. Longing to have a special bond with them but knowing our relationship is naturally fragile, it often encounters a tidal wave of highs and lows.
As I scroll through endless pictures on my phone and relive the past, I also notice they are growing up right before my eyes. When I glance at my oldest, I realize just how quickly time gets away from us, and I wonder how to seize these moments. I find myself asking, how can I etch truth in their hearts before they leave and make an imprint on this world?
Maybe you also find yourself wishing you could freeze time and place precious truths into the pockets of your daughter’s heart. Oh, friend, you are not alone. Maybe together, we speak truths over our darling daughter’s hearts while slowly (and tearfully) releasing them into a world that desperately needs their shining and radiant light!
So, when you are sitting on her bed at night, and she wants to spill the tea on her day, share your heart too. When you are traveling in the car, and she is catching up on her social life, casually work truths in. When you are eating dinner, shopping for a new dress, curling her hair, or have a spontaneous moment when she is receptive and listening, let her know, and tell her…
1. You are SO Loved
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” – John 15:9
Sweet girl, you will come into dark seasons where you may forget your worth. You may even feel unlovable. People will hurt or disappoint you, leaving you to feel used or forgotten. Please know that where people will fail you, Jesus never ever will! His love for you is indescribable; you can always depend on Him! There is nothing you can do to make Him stop loving you! And just so you know, the same goes for me, dear daughter. I will always love you, no matter what.
Unfortunately, our plans don’t always pan out. We can pray about them, talk about them ad nauseum, hope, and dream about our heart’s desires, but sometimes that isn’t what God wants for us. Just remember God’s plans are always better. They may not make sense or even come with disappointment or pain, but His will and ways are always for our own good. Remember, His timing is perfect. His way is perfect, and His will for you is what you need to pray for. Let God lead your dreams, hopes, and desires, and watch what He does!
3. Your Choices Matter
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Every choice you make (big or small) will have some sort of impact on your life. You choose to play from the friends you allow in your life to the sports. Sometimes you will make good choices, and unfortunately, there will be times that you do not. Guilt and shame will be wrapped in those decisions. Eventually, they can lead you to believe things that aren’t true. This is where you must get in tune with discerning the pull of the Holy Spirit. Think and pause before you make a decision. Most importantly, allow God to lead you to the right paths and trust Him with every decision you make.
4. You Will Fail…And That’s Okay
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
This may be hard to hear, but you will fail and mess up. You will make a decision that goes against the foundation set before you. You will know and feel it, yet may still choose to do it. This will break my heart. I may even grow angry or upset. But the truth is, you may fall and even fail, but that is not where you have to stay! You always have the choice to get back up and take ownership of your choice with grace and dignity. The point is you may fail, but you don’t have to be defeated. Grace, forgiveness, and freedom come with letting go and giving it to God.
5. Your Beauty Will Radiant from Within
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the world’s standard of beauty, especially as it is plastered everywhere and easily found by scrolling your phone. Not to mention quickly falling into the comparison trap as you notice pretty girls at school or take notice of celebrities and their traits, wondering if you can somehow achieve the same. Pinterest may offer a slew of information on enhancing your eyes or clearing your skin, but it’s not the form of beauty you should be chasing after. It will never be enough at some point, so please don’t fall for it! Beauty is found in the girl that takes care of her heart. The one that shows compassion and gentleness to others. The one that embraces her femininity and honors her body with modesty. The one that takes care of herself from the inside out. You are so beautiful, sweet girl, always remember that!
6. You Are Meant to Stand Apart
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
The world is so loud! Many lies will come after your fragile heart. It will declare things that go against God and His Word. If you are unsure of right or wrong, stay tuned in by getting involved in a Bible study, seek fellowship, and search out mentors who can walk beside you and lead and guide you. You were not meant to be a part of this world or conform to its radical ways. Rather, you were made to be set apart! You were bought with a price and therefore serve a valuable purpose. So, your life will look and feel different, and it’s supposed to. Don’t fear standing alone or standing up for what is noble, true, good, and righteous. Seek God first and His will; from that, let your love for Him shine through as you love others.
A Prayer for My Daughters
Faithful Father, Thank you for the precious gift of each of my daughters. Please come alongside each of us as we grow in our relationship with You and bond with one another. Help lead and guide me as their mom to offer sound wisdom with strong conviction and carry that out with gentleness and compassion.
Lord, I ask that You be with my daughters as they grow into the women You call them to be. Etch in their heart the unwavering love You have for them. Help them seek Your will and way, offer discernment, and remind them who they are in You alone. Give them a passion to live boldly for You, and always to remember who they are as Your beloved daughter. Amen.
Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy. Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
Over the last few years, especially since the Covid pandemic, the amount of abuse that happens behind the scenes at Chicago’s nursing homes has become much more widely known. For this reason, family members of Chicago nursing home patients must be vigilant about reporting any abuse-signaling issues that happen at their loved one’s nursing homes.
There are six common injuries at abusive nursing homes in Chicago, IL that family members should be especially aware of:
1. Slip-and-Fall Accidents
Slip-and-fall accidents are some of the most common and dangerous types of accidents that occur in Chicago nursing homes every single year. The severity of the injuries that are caused by elderly folk falling is often severe, and can even lead to death in many cases (as well as life-threatening injuries). For this reason, those involved in slip-and-fall accidents at their nursing homes must contact a nursing home lawyer ASAP. This situation is impacting aging citizens throughout Chicago, so you’re not alone if you find yourself in this unfortunate scenario. By speaking up, you will ensure that you and other nursing home residents are properly protected from behind-the-scenes abuse at Chicago nursing homes in 2023.
2. Bedsores
Bedsores are often seen as a major red flag in nursing home patients. After all, there are specific guidelines set out for nursing home staff members that are meant to minimize the chances of (and severity of) bedsores occurring. Bedsores can lead to severe infections and can take a long time to heal. Additionally, they cause severe pain in elderly patients. For this reason, many people assume that neglectful management may be occurring at a nursing home if several residents begin developing bedsores. Being vigilant about correcting the problem is key, so if you or a loved one are experiencing bedsores in a Chicago nursing home, you should contact that nursing home’s director about the problem immediately.
3. Spinal Injuries
Another severe injury that’s unfortunately fairly common in nursing home settings, spinal injuries often lead to some of the largest lawsuits against neglectful nursing homes. Whether these injuries occur from a fall, or some other type of preventable injury, does not matter. What matters is whether these physical injuries can be linked to abuse or neglect from the nursing home and its staff members. Investigating nursing home injuries can be tricky, but with the right guidance, you can get down to the bottom of any suspicious or unexplained injuries that have harmed your elderly loved one. Nursing home lawyers are experts at navigating this strange, complex, and intense process, however, so entrusting them with your loved one’s legal future is recommended. When visiting
4. STDs
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Many people wrongfully assume that elderly nursing home patients completely forsake their sex lives. The reality is that many elderly people across America (including those in Chicago’s nursing homes) lead fairly active sex lives. Because they are not always as safe with their sex practices at an advanced age, STD rates among the elderly are actually fairly high. The fact that they are more likely to have an active STD at this advanced age only adds to the problem. That aside, an unexplained STD diagnosis in an elderly nursing home patient is cause for concern and could be a sign of abuse happening behind the scenes. If your elderly loved one develops an unexplained STD suddenly, be sure to gain their trust, and get to the bottom of this sensitive situation in a caring, but effective, way.
5. Malnutrition
Malnutrition is a serious ailment, especially when it comes to the elderly. In a nursing home setting, there are absolutely zero excuses for any patient ever becoming malnourished. After all, part of the staff’s responsibility is to ensure their patients are on healthy, life-sustaining diets year-round. If your elderly loved one becomes malnourished during their time at a nursing home, you should report this oversight to the home’s director, and other authorities, immediately. Doing so can save lives, as there are likely other victims becoming malnourished due to that nursing home’s behind-the-scenes neglect. The faster you are to respond, the more likely you are to save your elderly loved one from the horrific complications that malnourishment poses for the elderly.
6. Dehydration
Lastly, dehydration is a common injury at abusive nursing homes in Chicago, IL. Dehydration, like malnutrition, can lead to serious and even life-threatening health complications for elderly patients. These two conditions will often go hand-in-hand behind the scenes at neglectful and abusive nursing homes. The better your emotional connection and trust are with your elderly loved one, the more effectively you can help them avoid, and deal with, any abuse issues at their nursing home. Taking care of our elderly citizens is the responsibility of every US citizen.
It is usual for babies to “spit up” milk during their daily routine. Spitting up milk is also known as gastroesophageal reflux (GER). Infants often experience reflux, which is perfectly normal.
Causes
The lower esophageal sphincter is a muscle at the lower end of the food pipe. During digestion, this muscle relaxes to let food into the stomach and contracts to prevent food and acid from entering the food pipe. There is a risk of liquid flowing back into the food pipe if the muscle does not completely close. The sequence occurs in all people, but it is more prevalent in infants under one year of age.
Regurgitation, or reflux, is common in infants between 3-4 months of age. Some infants regurgitate at least once a day, and some infants regurgitate with all or most feeds. After an infant reaches the age of 18 months, the muscle controlling food flow matures, thereby decreasing regurgitation rates.
It’s possible for infants to suffer from reflux due to a more serious condition, including:
Intolerance of certain foods
Eosinophilic esophagitis: A buildup of white blood cells inflaming the tissues of the esophagus
Pyloric stenosis is a medical condition affecting babies that prevents food from reaching the small intestine
GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease)
Helping your baby cope with reflux
Changes in your baby’s feeding routine can reduce reflux symptoms. You might try the following:
If possible, continue breastfeeding since breastmilk is easier to digest.
During a feeding, make sure your baby takes breaks. Consider having a responsive/paced feeding approach if you’re bottle-feeding.
Gently burp your baby throughout the feeding.
Feeding your baby more frequently but shortening the feeding time.
Lifting your baby’s head up above his or her bottom during feeds.
Keep your baby upright for a few minutes after feeding.
If you can, change your baby on their side so that their legs aren’t lifted up toward their stomach.
Getting your baby off dairy might be necessary if your baby is allergic to cow’s milk protein. Your doctor may recommend that you use a special formula that partially breaks down cow’s milk if you are formula feeding.
If your baby is formula-fed, your healthcare professional may suggest using a thickened or anti-reflux formula.
Treatment and diagnosis
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Reflux can usually be diagnosed based on a baby’s symptoms, and no tests are needed. Reflux in babies does not usually require any specific treatment, though you may find the feeding suggestions above helpful. If a baby cries uncontrollably or is in obvious pain, an anti-reflux medication may be prescribed.
Symptoms that don’t improve with these adjustments may need a feeding assessment to rule out other causes. If a healthcare professional believes they could be helpful, an endoscopy, pH monitoring, or barium swallow test can be performed. Some babies with underlying medical conditions, like cerebral palsy, may also require surgery.
Final thoughts
It can be very frustrating for babies to experience reflux, and rarely one step is enough to resolve the issue. Each baby is different, so some of these tips may work better for some babies.
There are various treatment options for babies experiencing reflux, and it usually improves as they get older. Always consult your pediatrician if you have any questions about your baby’s health, no matter how seemingly small.
Spirituality plays a vital role in marriage, providing a strong foundation for the relationship and deepening the connection between spouses.
One of the fundamental aspects of spirituality in marriage is the shared pursuit of a deeper relationship with God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” When both spouses actively seek God and align their lives with His principles, they create a strong bond that can withstand the challenges and storms that may arise in their marriage. Shared spirituality encourages mutual support, encouragement, and accountability as both partners grow in their faith journey.
Engaging in shared spiritual practices, such as prayer and worship, enriches the marital bond. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Praying together as a couple allows you to invite God into your marriage, seeking His guidance, strength, and blessings. It fosters unity and intimacy as you share your hopes, dreams, and concerns with each other and with God. Likewise, participating in worship together, whether it be attending church services or engaging in devotional activities, strengthens the spiritual connection between spouses and deepens their sense of belonging to a larger faith community.
The Power of Effective Communication
Effective communication is essential in expressing one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to faith. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” By communicating in a loving and uplifting manner, spouses can encourage and inspire each other in their spiritual growth. They can openly share their prayers, reflections, and insights, creating a safe space where their faith journeys can flourish.
For effective communication in shared spiritual practices, couples must be mindful of potential barriers that can hinder their connection. James 1:19 reminds us, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” It is crucial to be attentive listeners, allowing each other free expression without interruption or judgment. Couples should also be aware of their emotions and avoid responding in anger or defensiveness, fostering an atmosphere of understanding and empathy.
Active listening is another crucial aspect of effective communication. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” By actively listening to one another, couples demonstrate respect and validation for their partner’s thoughts and experiences. They can ask open-ended questions, seek clarification, and reflect on what was shared, ensuring a deeper understanding and fostering a sense of connection.
Using words of encouragement and affirmation uplifts the spiritual journey of both partners. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” By expressing appreciation, acknowledging growth, and affirming each other’s faith, couples can strengthen their spiritual bond and create an atmosphere of love and support.
Identifying Spirituality in Your Marriage
Self-reflection begins with examining your own beliefs, values, and practices. Psalm 119:59 reminds us, “I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies.” By taking the time to reflect on your spiritual journey and the role of faith in your life, you can gain insight into how it influences your marriage. Ask yourself questions about your personal relationship with God, your prayer life, and your engagement with Scripture, allowing you to understand your own spirituality more deeply.
Observing the dynamics of your marriage and evaluating how spirituality manifests are additional aspects of introspection. Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us of the fruits of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” Ponder how these fruits of the Spirit are present in your interactions with your spouse, examining whether your marriage reflects the love, joy, and peace of a shared spiritual foundation.
Engage in regular times of solitude to seek God’s guidance and wisdom, allowing His Word to illuminate your path and reveal areas where spirituality can be strengthened within your marriage.
Incorporating Spiritual Activities into Your Daily Life
Starting the day with prayer, meditation, or reading Scripture sets the tone for the entire day and allows us to align our hearts and minds with God’s presence. Setting aside dedicated time each day, even if it is just a few minutes, demonstrates our commitment to deepening our spiritual relationship as a couple.
Consistency in spiritual practices is also vital to developing a firm foundation of faith. By consistently engaging in spiritual practices, we create a rhythm that nurtures our connection with God. It becomes a daily reminder of His presence in our lives and helps us cultivate spiritual discipline in our homes.
For spiritual practices to become a habit, it is essential to prioritize and create a conducive environment. Prioritizing God in our lives means intentionally carving out time for Him amidst the busyness of our schedules. It may require adjustments to our routines or boundaries with other activities to make room for spiritual practices.
Creating a sacred space can also enhance our spiritual activities. Mark 1:35 reveals that Jesus often found a solitary place to pray. Designating a specific area in our homes or finding a quiet place outdoors can help us enter into a mindset of reverence and focus during our spiritual practices. By eliminating distractions and creating an atmosphere of peace and tranquility, a couple can fully engage with God.
Strengthening Emotional Connection through Shared Spiritual Practices
Engaging in shared spiritual practices creates more profound love and compassion within the marriage. 1 Peter 4:8 says, “And above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves, for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” By coming together in prayer, meditation, or acts of service, couples demonstrate love and care for one another and develop a shared understanding of God’s love and compassion. This shared experience of seeking God’s presence fosters a higher level of empathy and compassion toward each other’s struggles and joys.
Engaging in shared spiritual practices also enhances trust and intimacy in the relationship. As couples engage in prayer and seek God’s guidance together, they develop a shared reliance on His wisdom and direction. This shared trust in God strengthens their confidence in each other, creating a safe and secure environment for vulnerability and intimacy to flourish.
Shared spiritual practices provide a powerful tool for relieving stress and anxiety within the marriage. By joining in prayer, couples can pour out their worries and concerns to God, finding solace, comfort, and peace. This allows them to support and uplift each other during challenging times, alleviating stress and fostering emotional well-being.
Nurturing Your Marriage through Shared Spiritual Practices
Engaging in shared spiritual practices fosters a sense of shared purpose within your marriage. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” By coming together in prayer, worship, or studying Scripture, you align your hearts and minds toward a common goal: growing closer to God and living out His purpose for your lives. This shared sense of purpose creates a strong foundation that unites you and gives your marriage deeper meaning.
Shared spiritual practices also renew appreciation and gratitude for each other. Ephesians 5:20 says, “Give thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” As you engage in acts of worship and gratitude together, you develop a greater awareness of God’s blessings in your lives and an appreciation for the unique qualities and contributions of your spouse. This joint practice of gratitude fosters a spirit of thankfulness and contentment within your marriage.
Connecting with God as a couple is a profound source of strength and unity. Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” By intertwining your hearts with God’s presence, you create a sacred bond that sustains and strengthens your marriage. Praying together, attending church services, or participating in spiritual retreats or conferences together also allows you to experience the transforming power of God’s love and grace as a couple.
Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.
The Audacious Project, a “collaborative funding initiative” under the umbrella of the “big ideas” nonprofit TED, recently announced this year’s grantees. Among them was a contraceptive initiative called Upstream USA.
While the Audacious Project didn’t offer specifics on the amount of its grant, Upstream appears to be raising significant funds to support a national expansion. In a statement provided to Rewire News Group, the organization said it plans to “transform contraceptive care in more than 700 health centers across the United States by 2030, reaching 5 million women.”
Here’s how: Upstream offers training for medical providers and front desk staff on contraceptive education and counseling, and practical skills like intrauterine device (IUD) insertion. The organization also offers technical assistance, such as medical coding and billing guides. According to its statement to RNG, Upstream’s programs have already helped “nearly 1 million women access their preferred birth control method” since 2014, in states including Delaware, Massachusetts, North Carolina, Rhode Island, and Washington.
Sounds good, right? After all, barriers to contraceptive access in the United States are immense.
But Upstream has repeatedly faced criticism from experts, particularly advocates, researchers, and clinicians who approach their work through the lens of reproductive justice. Specifically, Upstream has come under fire for its claims that access to contraception can reduce or end poverty, and its prioritization of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) over other methods.
Credit: Unsplash
From Upstream’s inception, “many of us were concerned about the narrative that they were basing their entire work on,” said Dr. Christine Dehlendorf, a family physician, researcher, and director of the Person-Centered Reproductive Health Program at the University of California, San Francisco, referring to Upstream’s anti-poverty message.
“They’ve kind of elided that down the road, at least within the [reproductive health and justice] community, because they heard loud and clear that that was not something that our field felt was appropriate,” she said.
In its statement, Upstream said its programs have “evolved” over time. And it may well have changed the way it trains health professionals to provide care—but from the outside, it’s impossible to know.
Liza Fuentes, a researcher who served on Upstream’s Medical Advisory Committee from 2014 through 2019, said she never saw the full training curriculum. In total, RNG spoke with seven experts for this story, all of whom have worked or interacted with Upstream at some point between 2014 and the present. None of them were ever allowed to see Upstream’s complete training curriculum.
“What makes me very nervous about them as an organization in this space is their reluctance—or complete refusal—to be transparent about the details of how they do things, and most importantly, about being fully open about their results,” one researcher said.
The researcher spoke with RNG on the condition of anonymity because they “fear angering the very foundations and funders that all of us look to to fund this incredibly vital research.”
“They’re putting the cart before the horse”
Upstream was co-founded in 2014 by Mark Edwards and Peter Belden. Edwards, who remains the organization’s CEO, previously founded and ran the anti-poverty organization Opportunity Nation and served on the board of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy (now called Power to Decide).
At a 2015 Brookings Institution event, Edwards said, “I will admit my bias: I think that helping women achieve their own goals and become pregnant when they want to is one of the most powerful things we can do to increase opportunity and economic mobility.”
Certainly, no one in the reproductive health and justice space would take issue with the idea that people should have control over their own reproduction. Their problem is with the assertion that reducing “unplanned” or “unintended” pregnancy is a poverty cure.
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on contraception to solve one of society’s major ills,” said the anonymous researcher, who heard Edwards give a similar pitch. “The idea that contraception is a cure for under-privilege is ignorant at best and offensive at worst.”
Such claims—which are often repeated, and not just by Edwards—are usually based on historical data or estimates. The idea that providing better access to contraception could lift people out of poverty now has not been proven, whereas other interventions, such as giving low-income families more money, are known to work. Plus, suggesting that poor people are poor because they have more children ignores the numerous societal causes of poverty.
“People who have more money have fewer babies, not the other way around,” said Dr. Joia Crear-Perry, an OB-GYN, founder and president of the National Birth Equity Collaborative, and a founding steering committee member of the Black Mamas Matter Alliance. “They’re putting the cart before the horse.”
In a 2019 op-ed in Essence, members of Black Mamas Matter Alliance called on Upstream to “conduct research on Black Mamas to hold structural systems and social policies accountable for poverty, instead of developing and advancing mechanisms for controlling and limiting pregnancy and childbirth for low-income people.”
As Upstream pursued partnerships with one state after another, Crear-Perry said she and other Black women reproductive justice advocates asked policymakers in those states not to work with them.
“We’d have to come in and try to undo the harm that they were doing,” she said. Crear-Perry said she had many direct conversations with Upstream in an effort to convince them to change their messaging.
“It was always circular, so at some point I just stopped talking to them,” she said.
The focus on LARCs
Upstream’s mission, it says, is to increase “equitable access to the full range of contraceptive options.” However, in the organization’s early years, there was a clear focus on LARCs. That, in combination with Upstream’s anti-poverty message, evoked the long history of eugenics and reproductive coercion of low-income people, especially those who are Black, Latinx, Indigenous, and disabled, the anonymous researcher said.
“Our greatest fear is that this is the same old coercion wrapped up in modern-day clothing,” they said.
However, it’s important to understand that, at the time of Upstream’s founding, a so-called “LARC-first” approach was considered the gold standard by many. For example, in this 2015 YouTube video, Edwards references a study which found that “when women were offered the full range of methods, same-day, in an environment where they’re counseled really well about what was most effective … they overwhelmingly chose IUDs and implants.” The research he’s citing came from Washington University in St. Louis, and was widely celebrated at the time.
Upstream’s first major initiative was a public-private partnership with the state of Delaware called DelCAN. In its statement to RNG, Upstream said the goal of DelCAN was “to increase access to the full range of contraceptive methods, particularly those methods that were the farthest out of reach, which, at that time, was LARCs.”
Many people do prefer LARCs. But insertion and removal can be extremely painful, and people often have trouble getting them removed.
And this is true: For decades, providers in the United States had been hesitant to place LARCs, due largely to past disasters such as the Dalkon Shield, a poorly designed IUD that killed at least 18 women and injured hundreds of thousands of others. The first contraceptive implant, Norplant, also had serious side effects and was promoted in a coercive manner, including by giving people the supposed “choice” of using Norplant rather than serving time in jail.
As a result, an entire generation of medical providers received little training about LARCs, and if they did offer them to patients, they typically did so only for those who had already given birth. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, only 1.5 percent of women ages 15 to 44 in the United States were using LARCs in 2002. Thanks to research, training initiatives, and public awareness campaigns, that increased to 18 percent by 2016.
In fact, at the time of Upstream’s founding, the World Health Organization, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention all endorsed a “tiered-effectiveness” contraceptive counseling model, meaning that patients were to be presented with the most effective methods—i.e. LARCs—first, with other methods introduced in descending order of effectiveness.
“Our technical assistance is rooted in the new Quality Family Planning guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Office of Population Affairs,” reads an archived version of Upstream’s website from 2015. Those guidelines endorsed the tiered-effectiveness model.
The shift to shared decision-making
Many people do prefer LARCs. But, to name just a few drawbacks, insertion and removal can be extremely painful, and people often have trouble getting LARCs removed—in some cases encountering a flat-out “no” from their doctors. Plus, effectiveness simply isn’t the only thing that people care about when it comes to birth control. Based on these factors, as well as the alarming echoes of the eugenics movement in the way many organizations were promoting LARCs, researchers and advocates began to push back.
In an influential 2014 paper, Anu Manchikanti Gomez, Amy Allina, and Fuentes wrote:
“Efforts to increase LARC use have historically been mired in racial and class biases about who is capable of managing the ‘hazard’ of fertility and who is valued as a mother in American society. When LARC use is the ‘default outcome’ specifically for women who tend to have the fewest choices in life, reproductive autonomy may be inadvertently restricted compared with the autonomy of women who are not perceived as being at high risk for unintended pregnancy.”
And the field has changed: ACOG now encourages the use of a “shared decision-making model” and considers the tiered-effectiveness approach to be inappropriately directive.
“Shared decision-making is when there is a partnership between patients and their providers, whoever that may be—a counselor, physician, a nurse,” Dehlendorf said. “It’s about supporting patients to make decisions for themselves that are best aligned with their own needs, values, and preferences.” In other words, in a shared decision-making model, the doctor or counselor doesn’t have an agenda, and doesn’t think one option is better than another.
In its statement to RNG, Upstream said it currently utilizes a shared decision-making model. The organization has also signed on to the LARC Statement of Principles written by the reproductive justice organization SisterSong and the National Women’s Health Network.
“We train our health-care partners on insertion of LARCs, as well as removal,” Upstream Chief Operating Officer Ann Quandt said in a follow-up statement. “Both services should be equally accessible at a given health center. Upstream’s Monitoring, Evaluation and Learning (MEL) Team reviews each health center’s data alongside the center, to confirm that both insertions and removal services are being provided at their health center.”
However, when asked to provide materials or information related to its trainings for providers, Upstream instead provided its patient education materials. One of them, a one-page summary of birth control options, displays the methods in alphabetical order, which one expert said is consistent with recommendations for non-directive counseling. Another, an interactive decision making wheel, still groups methods according to effectiveness, though it does contain additional information about other benefits and potential side effects.
Three different experts reviewed the materials for RNG. They all agreed that, without knowing how Upstream directs providers and clinic staff to counsel patients, it’s impossible to know whether they are encouraging directive—and therefore potentially coercive—counseling.
“Put contraception in the drinking water”
Evidence from Upstream’s own programs also raises alarms about potential bias and coercion. For example, Jamie Manzer and Ann Bell, who interviewed providers trained by Upstream as part of an external evaluation of DelCAN, found that some of them expressed alarming attitudes toward their patients.
“Put contraception in the drinking water, put it into the ventilation systems,” one white doctor said. “If you knew that 100 percent of unintended pregnancies took place in [these two low SES, urban ZIP codes], then yes, I would say target [those two ZIP codes],” he continued.
Credit: Unsplash
Some openly admitted steering certain patients toward LARCs or making it difficult for those patients to get LARCs removed.
In another study that was part of the same evaluation, Manzer and Bell interviewed the patients at Upstream-trained health centers. One element of the training encouraged providers to ask patients who don’t want to become pregnant about contraception at every visit, even if that wasn’t related to their reason for being there.
“I came here for, like, a hurt hand and you’re asking me, ‘Did [I] choose a birth control method yet?’” said one patient, adding that the approach made her “uncomfortable.”
DelCAN began in 2014, so it’s possible Upstream’s methods have changed significantly since then. However, Upstream’s own data from more recent initiatives, published in the journal Contraception this year, show significant racial disparities in patient-reported satisfaction with “provider respect, consideration for patient preferences, and informativeness.”
What’s more, researchers take issue with what they say is a pattern of misleading use of data by Upstream and Edwards. For example, the “Results” page on Upstream’s website touts a “25% reduction in births from unintended pregnancies in Delaware.” But this is based on what researchers call “pre-post data,” meaning it’s a comparison of demographic data from before and after Upstream’s presence in the state. It does not establish causation.
In a TED talk just months ago, Edwards claimed that “over the span of ten years, it’s been estimated that six out of ten typical birth control pill users will become accidentally pregnant.” Quandt confirmed that this figure came from a 2014 New York Times article, which used first-year birth control failure rates to extrapolate the methods’ failure rates over ten years.
But this is a “complete misuse of the data” on birth control effectiveness, Dehlendorf said. First, researchers generally look at the effectiveness of birth control methods over the first year of use to ensure they’re “comparing apples to apples.” But many methods actually become more effective over time. For example, a longtime birth control user is probably better at taking their pills regularly than someone who just started. And people who feel a particular method isn’t working for them will typically switch, so the projected ten-year effectiveness of one method isn’t especially meaningful, anyway.
Comments like this call into question whether Upstream has truly shifted away from a LARC-first approach. Given the organization’s stated goal of scaling up “especially in states where access to abortion is restricted,” sources who spoke with RNG say they worry a coercive counseling model could add to the tremendous pressure people are already feeling around contraception in states that have banned, or are likely to ban, abortion.
Regaining trust
Upstream says its mission is to “expand opportunity by reducing unplanned pregnancy across the U.S.,” according to its most recent 990, the public disclosure that nonprofit organizations are required to make every year. In other words, the linkage between poverty and contraception is still there. The organization’s financial backers are even more explicit about this.
For example, one of Upstream’s major funders is Blue Meridian Partners, an anti-poverty philanthropic collaborative that counts the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and MacKenzie Scott among its donors.
“Upstream’s model presents a clear way to disrupt the link between unplanned pregnancy and intergenerational poverty by putting reproductive choice in a woman’s hands,” Blue Meridian’s website reads. According to that page, Blue Meridian’s investment in Upstream so far totals $60 million over seven-and-a-half years.
Even the idea that reducing unplanned pregnancy is an inherently desirable goal is outdated, experts who spoke with RNG said. While people who want to prevent pregnancy should absolutely have access to whatever contraceptive method they want to use, “you don’t actually want to prevent every unintended pregnancy … sometimes leaving things up to chance and being ambivalent is the right way to go for someone,” the anonymous researcher said.
Dehlendorf agrees.
“The goal shouldn’t necessarily be more planned pregnancies. It should be more pregnancies people are happy with,” she said, which would require policy solutions beyond contraception that “meet people’s needs as they themselves define them.”
However, all of the experts who spoke with RNG acknowledged that it’s clear Upstream is here to stay. One even said members of their staff have begun appearing routinely in federal policy meetings.
“They have more money than anybody in this space other than Planned Parenthood,” Crear-Perry said.
But to regain trust in the sexual and reproductive health space, Dehlendorf said, “I think it would have to take real, authentic accountability for the harm that they’ve caused, and transparency moving forward.”
Most people have a little bit of codependency going on. However, if you have a relationship that is based on codependency, you’re probably feeling insecure and frustrated.
In this episode, Jayson covers the signs and symptoms of codependency, the history of the term, how it “works” and what to do about it. You’ll want to check this out! To sign up for our next Masterclass clickHERE.
Timestamps:
4:03 – What is codependency?
11:36 – Signs you might be experiencing codependency
16:21 – What are you getting out of hurtful relationship patterns?
Meeting a beautiful Polish lady without leaving your comfort zone is so easy and real in our modern world. Poland has millions of the most beautiful women in the world and you deserve to be partnered with one of them. Their perfect appearance fascinates, and their kind nature pulls men from all over the world into their web of love. Do you want to start dating a Polish girl but don’t plan a trip to Poland? Then read this guide right now.
The modern world of online dating can provide a happy relationship for those who are hungry for love. Have you ever imagined that you could plunge into romantic adventures without even leaving your home? Where to find a Polish bride? How to succeed in dating and be successful while avoiding scams? You came here precisely because fate is preparing a wonderful gift for you – soon you will become the owner of the heart of a beautiful Polish princess! And I, as a dating coach and a love psychologist, will tell you how to take the path of finding your happiness and falling in love once and for all.
Polish Dating Apps: Top of Effective Love-Making Services
The most common way to find love is through online dating apps and dating sites. This option is suitable for those who want to find the perfect bride according to their parameters easily, quickly, and most importantly – on a budget. Modern matchmaking services offer many different features and functions that will make your communication with girls unforgettable. For starters, you should choose the site where you want to start a romantic date. I have prepared for you top six popular dating sites and applications that will not leave you indifferent and will give you love.
🧡 Victoriyaclub.com
Victoriyaclub is a loving platform that starts our top list of the best dating services for a reason. It is a matchmaking site that is also available in its mobile version, which is not far behind the applications. This multifunctional service has been running for 10+ years and has become almost an ideal tool for those who are looking for a serious relationship. Convenient functionality, a lot of opportunities for modern dating, customer support system – these are only a few good advantages of the site. You should try it if you want to be successful with Polish women for marriage.
🧡Loveinchat.com
Loveinchat.com completes our top services, as this site has already helped thousands of men and women find a happy marriage. It has been working on the Internet for 11 years. I will not stop recommending this site to my clients, as it is a professional dating service that offers a real opportunity to find a partner. In addition, this website stands out among others for its security system, concise interface, interesting features, and advanced search. Low costs but effective results are the main features of loveinchat.
🧡 Badoo
Badoo is probably the most popular and best Polish dating app, where millions of single people are looking for communication and new acquaintances. Just imagine – every day Badoo meets about 300 thousand new users. Registration is open to anyone over the age of 18. After authorization, you will be shown several sections: “People nearby”, “Search”, and “Meeting”. You flip through the photos of the brides and like or reject them, with mutual sympathy it is recommended to start a chat. The application is available in a free version.
🧡 Tinder
This is a mega-popular online marketplace where you can also find a Polish bride. Tinder is available in over 190 countries and is offered in 40 languages. Therefore, here, you can forget about the complexity of the language barrier. This application is an analog of Badu; the principle of use is similar. You register, add a photo and basic information about yourself. Swipe Right – like the girl, if the interest is mutual, then – “It’s a Match!”. Then you start a correspondence with a girl and you start a relationship.
🧡Kismia
According to statistics, Kismia is included in the list of the top most-used dating apps in Poland. To use the service, you do not need to pay for registration. It is very attractive that the application itself selects options for a suitable partner for you based on the results of a psychological test. There are also paid services, which, for example, allow you to see who likes your profile, who is online, and so on.
🧡 Kiss Kiss
Kiss Kiss is an unusual dating app for singles all over the world. The service offers chats and communication through the game Spin the Bottle. Just spin the bottle and try your luck! For those who want to have a fun and exciting time and plunge into the world of dating – Kiss Kiss will be an ideal option. You can even play with friends, get to know those who are close and on the other side of the world from you. It’s a great idea to find love in a casual game format!
How to Get Sympathy on a Free Polish Dating App?
Choosing a dating app or site is only half the battle on the road to building a relationship. Having found a good platform for love, you should think about how to find the right approach to girls and win their sympathy and trust. There are some rules for successful online dating that I am ready to share with you right now.
1️⃣ Register on several dating services
Choose 2-3 popular reliable resources. This way you will increase the chances of a successful acquaintance because in this case, the choice of applicants will expand. Before registering on the site, look at the profiles of girls who are in the top positions there. Pay attention to how and what is written in the profiles of popular young people, and what photos they post.
2️⃣ Study profiles of girls
You should start communication with the girls you like only after a detailed reading of their information about yourself, and viewing photos. So you will know whether a girl suits you or not, and knowing everything about her, you will have more ideas on what topic to start a dialogue with the lady. By profile, you can find out what she likes, what her hobby is, her goals in life, and what she wants to find on a dating site.
3️⃣ Take the first steps
This is perhaps one of the most important rules for men who want to get the attention of brides on a dating site. Polish ladies love men who know how to take the initiative and take matters into their own hands. Write to girls first, show reactions that you like them; just don’t overdo it.
4️⃣ Compliment her
Don’t know where to start chatting with a girl? Compliment her, and I’m sure she can’t refuse you. Just let it not be banal words, come up with something special. To do this, carefully consider her photo, maybe she will hook you with interesting things. And besides, there are a lot of examples of beautiful original compliments on the Internet.
5️⃣ Have a sense of humor
Don’t take the situation too seriously, let online dating be a fun romantic adventure or game for you. You can safely joke while talking with girls, this will defuse the situation and make you closer. The girl will see that you are sincere, and you can relax with her. Just keep in mind that jokes are different, and you should think about it so that it does not offend your partner.
Safety Dating: 5 Rules to Avoid Scam On Polish Girl Dating App
Dating online provides all the opportunities to find a soul mate, but it also puts you at risk. Many people have already become victims of scammers. To stay safe when dating online, follow these simple rules.
✅Do not disclose your geolocation data in correspondence
Do not give out information about where your home or work is located, and do not give out the addresses of friends and relatives.
Why it’s dangerous? If you start a correspondence with a stalker, he can follow you, getting information about your location and the addresses of loved ones.
✅Do not share personal information
Under no circumstances give out your phone number in combination with the card number where your finances are stored.
Why ⁉️ Fraudsters can use this data to steal money from your account.
✅Be careful when sending photos
If you decide to exchange photos with your interlocutor, take them against a neutral background or in a public place. So another user will not be able to calculate your address.
Why ⁉️ Having learned the details about your place of residence, an attacker can fix them. As soon as you mention a vacation or a long business trip in a conversation, a criminal can take advantage of your absence to rob an apartment or cottage.
✅ Do not share your social networks
Do not link to your social media accounts. Keep correspondence on the site where you registered and found an interlocutor, as in this case you can easily interrupt communication and remain incognito.
Why ⁉️ If you provide a link to your accounts, the interlocutor may find out more information than you are ready to provide him, for example, about relatives, place of work or study, and family income level.
✅ Do not use personal or work email
Better get a separate mail – only for the dating site. So you will be calm and will not be in danger.
Why ⁉️ Many users have social media accounts, and virtual offices on public service websites linked to their mail. Having gained access to these resources, fraudsters can steal personal correspondence, financial data, and scanned copies of important documents.
Conclusion
As you can see, without much effort and expense, you can meet a beautiful Polish lady and become her partner for a serious relationship. Dating online is available both on dating sites and in applications. You have an idea about the most popular Polish dating services, so choose what you like best and start your effective and safe search for love.
FAQ:
Which dating app is used in Poland?
As statistics say, the most famous Polish app for dating is Badoo. But it has many doubts from my side. I recommend you use a trusted dating site like, for example, Victoriyaclub or Loveinchat. It has a convenient safety system and rich functionality.
Does Poland use Tinder?
Yes, Tinder takes second place at the top of the most popular apps for dating in Poland. It has millions of users and attracts people from all over the world.
What is the app like fotka?
Fotka is also one of the Polish dating apps, that gives you a chance to find love online. The principle of using it is simple – just register and start meeting girls.
What is the best dating app for Polish people in the UK?
If we talk about the best dating app for people who don’t live in Poland but want to try meeting Polish ladies, it is Badoo. It has great popularity and the possibility of free dating. But a better way to find love effectively and safely is to use a dating site.
Tim Denning is a renowned dating expert and coach with over a decade of experience in the field. He has helped countless individuals around the world find love, improve their relationships, and develop the skills and confidence needed to navigate the modern dating scene. Tim’s approach is grounded in honesty, empathy, and a deep understanding of human behavior. He believes that everyone has the potential to find happiness and fulfillment in their romantic lives, and he works tirelessly to help his clients achieve those goals. Whether you’re struggling with online dating, trying to reignite the passion in a long-term relationship, or simply looking to improve your communication skills, Tim Denning is the expert you can trust to guide you towards success.
When it comes to my wife, I have no shame in affirming the wisdom of Solomon who wrote:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Proverbs 12:4).
“An excellent wife, who can find her? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10).
Unfortunately, not everyone holds marriage in such high regard or treasures their wife with such esteem. It’s no secret to say that our society has developed a serious marriage problem. An institution once considered sacred is now treated with scorn.
Marriages around the world are falling apart at record pace, and even the ones that have remained intact are often broken, loveless, or weak. Divorce is also seen as a normal quick-fix and easy-way-out of marriage when things get too difficult or the fire and passion of young love flickers. To be clear, I am not shaming or condemning anyone who’s been forced to flee or break away from an abusive or adulterous relationship.
But if anyone knows what it feels like to be cheated on and betrayed by an unfaithful bride, it’s God.
However, while Scripture conveys God’s disdain for divorce (Malachi 2:14-15), it also makes clear the love God has for those who’ve been betrayed, hurt, or abused by an unloving or unfaithful spouse.
God gave marriage to mankind as a blessing, and it is His purpose to see marriages thrive in love, in faith, and in unity. God hates divorce because it breaks His heart to see His children hurt and the covenant He brokered for their benefit dissolved.
That being said, as the divorce rate climbs, the marriage rate has been in decline for the last few decades. Young people are waiting longer and longer to get married and start a family these days, if at all. Some of this is for financial reasons. Other times, it is born out of fear. Furthermore, many young adults would rather focus on their careers or cohabitate and engage in sexual relationships outside of the covenant of marriage altogether.
Being single is not the problem. The tragedy, however, is that fewer people see marriage as a treasure even worth pursuing.
Needless to say, Satan has wreaked havoc on the institution of marriage, both in how it is viewed from the outside and how it is treated on the inside. And as marriages continue to fail, so also does the health of the family, the church, and society continue its steady decline.
However, what society views as frivolous and inconsequential, God treats as sacred, glorious, and worth fighting to preserve. Why? Because He created it.
As a solo traveler, you have the freedom to explore the world on your own terms and create unforgettable experiences. Here’s a guide to the top three places to visit while you’re in your Dora the Explorer era:
Monaco
Monaco is a tiny country, making it easy to navigate and explore independently. You can easily walk around and discover its attractions without feeling overwhelmed or lost. What’s more, the city-state boasts the best internet download speed per capita, as shown by ExpressVPN. This makes it ideal for traveling digital nomads who are heavily reliant on visiting areas with a strong internet connection to get their work done with no problems.
Be sure to stop by Larvotto Beach when in Monaco. This public beach offers crystal-clear waters and a vibrant atmosphere where you’re likely to meet other friendly locals. Once you’ve finished relaxing, head to Monaco-Ville (the old town) for your evening meal and explore the charming streets along the way. The Saint Nicholas Cathedral, where Princess Grace and Prince Rainier III are buried, is always an exciting visit to add to your itinerary.
Finally, Monaco is renowned for being a city-state of great luxury in the form of boutique casinos, hotels, and high-profile sporting events such as the Grand Prix. This makes this charming destination a very appealing place for solo travelers who like a taste of the finer things in life.
Japan
Second on our list is Japan. Japan is widely recognized as one of the safest countries in the world, making it an ideal choice for solo travelers. You can explore cities, towns, and even remote areas with a full sense of security.
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What’s more, Time Out reports that Tokyo was ranked one of the best cities in the world to find your soulmate. Whether or not you’re looking for love, Tokyo is arguably one of the best places to visit for single travelers who don’t want to miss out on any fun.
A noteworthy place to visit in Tokyo is the famous Shibuya, a vibrant district filled with shops, restaurants, and entertainment venues. Shinjuku is another bustling district known for its skyscrapers, neon lights, and wilder-than-life nightlife. Here, you’re sure to find plenty of bar crawls aimed toward single travelers looking to meet other like-minded singletons wanting to immerse themselves in everything that Japan’s crazy capital has to offer.
With the fascinating blend of ancient traditions and modern innovations, there’s plenty to discover in terms of culture and history within Japan. Solo travelers can visit historical sites such as Kyoto’s temples, Nara’s ancient shrines, and Hiroshima’s Peace Memorial Park. Japan offers a wide range of attractions, making it an unforgettable destination for every solo traveler.
New Zealand
Finally, this list of solo traveling hotspots wouldn’t be complete without mentioning New Zealand. NZHerald highlights that New Zealand was ranked the second most beautiful country globally, and it’s not hard to see why. The breathtaking landscapes are enough of a reason alone to take the trip to this gorgeous country down under. From snow-capped mountains to pristine lakes, lush forests, and stunning coastlines, solo travelers can embark on epic hikes to take in all of the natural beauty and wonder that New Zealand has to offer.
Specifically great for solo travelers is Auckland. Auckland is often considered one of the best places to visit in New Zealand for solo travelers due to its diverse range of attractions and vibrant urban scene. If you’re interested in art and culture, the Auckland Art Gallery is a must-visit. It houses an extensive collection of local and international artwork, including Mãori and Pacific Island art.
Moreover, New Zealand is also known for its safety and friendly locals, making it an ideal choice for those who prefer to travel alone. New Zealand has a well-developed tourism infrastructure, which makes it easy to navigate and explore independently. The country has an extensive network of buses, trains, and domestic flights, allowing you to easily move between destinations stress-free.
Travel Safe
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If you vacation solo regularly but haven’t ever thought of adding this small city-state to your travel checklist, now’s your time to do so. Located on the French Riviera, this little principality is one of the most ideal places to visit for solo travelers across the globe.
Monaco, New Zealand, and Japan are excellent choices for solo travelers, each offering unique experiences and attractions.
Whether you’re seeking luxury and glamour in Monaco, awe-inspiring beauty in New Zealand, or an immersion into a captivating culture in Japan, these destinations offer incredible opportunities for solo travelers of all tastes and preferences.
You may be able to deduct your rent from your taxes if you’re self-employed and work from home. Even while this is great news for independent contractors, it may be challenging to navigate the myriad tax deduction restrictions. Tax calculators can come in handy, like the 1099 tax calculator and the quarterly tax calculator.
Even if office lease prices are among the biggest expenditures for many independent contractors, you should still double-check the figures since you may be able to use a tax calculator for certain things but not for others, like these. You could be eligible to deduct the cost of leasing an office, a co-working space, or a sublease space depending on your taxable income for the year.
The facility must only be utilized for business activities in order to qualify for a rent deduction. Make sure it’s a designated space used for business if you’re using your home office as a workstation. You may need to adjust the deduction amount based on any personal use.
The kind of rental is another consideration. Make sure you have a documented agreement outlining the rental terms if you are subletting or sharing office space. You may be able to support your claim and make sure you are handling the problem properly by having a written agreement.
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Depending on how your business is structured, there are many laws and regulations that you should be aware of. Regarding the deductibility of office leasing expenses, there are distinct rules for single proprietors, LLCs, S companies, and partnerships. To be sure you are using the right procedures, do your study on the specific needs associated with your company structure.
Self-employed people may deduct other costs in addition to office lease costs. You may add expenses for your home office, including phone, internet, and power costs, as well as costs associated with business travel.
Keep in mind that in order to deduct these costs, you must have correct records and invoices. Rent and other expense deductions may dramatically lower your taxable income, but if you don’t have the supporting evidence, the IRS may object when reviewing your 1040 form.
It may be difficult to maximize your tax savings as a self-employed person while making sure your tax returns are filed appropriately. Working with a tax expert or accountant who has knowledge in dealing with independent contractors and self-employed people is one option. They can guide you through the intricate procedures and laws governing tax deductions and ensure that your documentation is completed properly.
Tax preparation software, like that from H&R Block or TurboTax, is another useful resource for self-employed people. With the aid of these apps, which provide comprehensive instructions and prompts, you can file your taxes properly and promptly.
Finally, if you work for yourself, you may be able to deduct the cost of renting an office from your taxes. It’s crucial to show that you are only utilizing the space for business-related activities, to have a formal sublease agreement, and to have precise documentation and documents to support your claims. To maximize your tax savings and make sure that your taxes are done correctly, it may be helpful to use tax software tools or to consult with a tax expert.
Sometimes it feels as though love and attention come easy to everybody else, meanwhile, for us, dating feels like a string of painful rejections or endless cycles of feeling used and overlooked.
If you relate to this, today’s new video will provide a much-needed boost. It will help you overcome the pain of frequent rejection and reframe the situation you’re in so you can feel hopeful again.
Transform Your Relationship With Life in 6 Magical Days Learn More About The Matthew Hussey Retreat . . . TAP HERE
Matthew:
You’re not supposed to be for everyone. If you are for most people, you’re doing something wrong. You’re chameleonizing yourself, people-pleasing, being an inauthentic version of you.
How do we continue with the search for love when it feels like it’s so fruitless for us? When we feel invisible, when we feel like we keep going on dates that don’t go anywhere, maybe even dates with initial promise, where it felt like someone liked us, but then they never spoke to us again afterwards, it never materialized into another date.
Rejection hurts. And when we get too many rejections, it starts to make us want to quit altogether, because we feel hopeless. We think, “What’s the point?” And each new rejection just reiterates and reinforces this belief that we are not good enough, that we are not desirable, that we are not worthy. And when we feel that way, we will insert whatever is our biggest insecurity into that, “It’s because of my age. It’s because I’m not attractive enough. It’s because I’m not smart enough. It’s because I’m not successful enough. It’s because of my body.” We all have our insecurity that rejection attaches itself onto, but the painful part is the rejection. We would be unlikely to be insecure about that thing in the first place if we didn’t have rejection to attach it to.
So I wanted to talk today about how you could overcome that fear of rejection and continue putting yourself out there to find love. Because the greatest tragedy is when we quit, when we throw in the towel and we say, “I just can’t do this anymore,” then we deprive ourselves of the beautiful relationship that we could have. We also, by the way, deprive someone else out there who’s right for us of the beautiful relationship that they could have with us if we had just kept going.
Now, before I go any further, I’d love for you to like this video, subscribe to this channel if you haven’t already, and hit the notification bell, so that the next time I release a video, you get notified first.
Now, while we’re on that subject, let’s talk about a comparison that’s really relevant to you and your love life. Every time I make a video, there are people who will see the thumbnail for that video in their recommended feed, and they won’t click on it. Maybe they don’t like the title. Maybe they see my face and don’t like my face. Maybe they just think, “This guy’s not for me.” Maybe they think that any form of dating advice or help with their confidence isn’t for them. But they don’t click.
There are other people who click on it and within the first 10 seconds go, “Nah.” Or they get distracted by something else and they never come back. Some people watch to the end of the video and say, “I didn’t like it.” There are other people who get to the end of the video and think, “That was cool. I’m not going to watch anymore, but that was pretty good.” And then, there are all sorts of other people that continue the journey with me. Some of them hit like on the video, some of them subscribe to the videos. Some people become part of my Love Life Club, to be coached by me on a more intimate level. Other people decide, “You know what, Matt? I’d really love to come and spend six days with you in Florida on your Retreat.” Those are the people that really value me and what I have to say. Most people don’t get that far, and that’s okay.
When I make a video, I’m not trying to make it for everybody. I hope that whoever engages with it and watches it gets something out of it. I hope I leave people better than I found them, but I also know I’m not going to be for a lot of people, maybe even for most people, but that doesn’t matter. The goal isn’t to attract most people. The goal isn’t to attract everybody. The goal is to attract the right person.
Our love life is no different. I want you to get out of the mindset of wanting people to be attracted to you and get into the mindset of wanting to find the person who is right for you. And by definition, because you are rare and unique and special and nuanced, the person who’s right for you is going to be rare and special and unique and nuanced, and it’s going to work because the two of you value each other’s unique way of thinking, unique approach to life, the way that you enjoy life or go through life, your energy.
You are not supposed to be for everyone. If you’re for most people, you’re doing something wrong. You’re chameleonizing yourself to whoever comes along, adjusting to suit the needs of the person in front of you, people-pleasing, being an inauthentic version of you. If you’re doing things right, a lot of people, and I mean a lot of people, won’t want you, and that’s kind of a liberating thought.
Trent Shelton, shout out to Trent, a coach, I heard him recently use this example, that when it comes to success and selling people on your vision, your vision is seen through lenses that you wear. It’s a prescription that’s yours. So sometimes when someone else in life, be it for a business idea or somewhere we want to go in life, when they try on our glasses to see our vision, they’ll struggle to see it, because they’ll be like, “I can’t see clearly.” And his point is they’re not supposed to be able to see that clearly, it’s your vision. Those are your glasses. That’s your lens. That’s what makes it yours.
I kind of think that the same is true in dating, that most people aren’t going to be able to see all of the things that are really special about you, but someone will come along who will see your specific way of being, operating, viewing life and going through the world, and think, “That’s for me.” Most people won’t, which is why, by the way, I almost feel like we think that the more people get to know us, the more they should like us. But in some ways, the more people get to know us, the more they should get to a point of going, “I don’t know if this person is for me in a relationship,” because we’re revealing more and more and more about ourselves and we’re looking for that person who fits with that and vice versa.
So I actually think that we’re looking for a very specific kind of human being in this world, that wants to go through life with us. Why do we expect that to be easy? That shouldn’t be easy. I once had a person that I worked with who, at the end of a tough breakup, where I felt a sense of disappointment that this person wasn’t for me, I remember him saying to me at the end of this relationship, “Matt, I don’t think it gets to be that easy for you.” He said, “You’re a specific kind of person. I don’t think it gets to be easy for you.” And there was something liberating about that thought.
You know what, if I was truly going to find my soulmate, and I don’t believe in the one, but I do kind of believe in this idea of soulmate, someone who you just, on the deepest level, it feels right with them. I don’t think that finding that person shouldn’t necessarily be easy. And I kind of want to get you off the hook of thinking that that should be easy. I want to give you permission to go and get rejected, and that rejection is going to be worth it.
Because if you get rejected 50 times and the 51st person is that person, you’re going to be so glad that you got rejected 50 times. And more than that, you almost certainly needed to go and get rejected those 50 times in order to meet that person. Because if you go through your dating life hoping to be this assassin, you have a sniper rifle, you have one bullet in that gun, and your job is just to find the right person and fire, your odds are tiny. In order to get to that 51st person, you actually have to go through a bunch of things that are wrong. You have to go through a bunch of rejections.
And think about it, to find my people on YouTube, I have hundreds of thousands of people bouncing off of my videos and deciding it’s not for them. So in our dating life, where most of us have a handful of relationships in a lifetime, or maybe go on a handful of dates in a year, why do we think that we are going to get so lucky that it’s going to happen in one of those handful? For some people, it does, but for a lot of people it doesn’t. And that’s not because they’re awful and it’s not because they’re invisible and it’s not because no one wants them, it’s because they’re giving far too much weight to the rejections in their life and they’re allowing the rejections to make them go into their cave and just check out of the game altogether. You can’t do that because what is coming for you is too special.
Now, what I believe is that this isn’t just a numbers game. We actually have a high degree of influence. We can’t control everything about when we meet the right person and when it’s going to happen. But we have a high degree of influence. If we really believe in our vision, you know what Trent says about someone putting on your glasses may not be able to see your vision, that’s true. But if we really believe in our vision and we’re excited about it, and in dating, it’s your vision for your own value, your vision for where your life is going, your vision, your lens for how great life is and how happy you are, the more you connect to that and the more you believe in it, really believe in it, the more you are able to transfer that energy to somebody else.
It’s like me right now. If I connect deeply to what I’m saying, why is it that I have not . . . My videos aren’t for everyone, but why is it I have a big audience? I believe it’s because I really, really, really care about what it is I have. I really believe it’s valuable and I’m really connected to it. And I believe that when people like yourself watch these videos, you can feel that, and that’s why you stay, and that’s why people join me on bigger journeys.
And that’s something that I’ve had to work on in my life because I wasn’t always this sure of myself. I wasn’t always this confident. I didn’t always believe in my vision to this extent. And I know that if you’re getting rejected so frequently, you can get to a point where you feel like, “No one can even understand how hard this is for me, to keep putting myself out there.” And when we feel that what happens is we feel unattractive, we feel worthless. And so, we start to treat ourselves like that. We don’t go to the gym or we don’t take care of ourselves anymore because we think, “What’s the point?” We don’t do the things that love ourselves, that keep us feeling good, and then we start to become a worse version of ourselves because we’re not loving ourselves and we’re not taking care of ourselves. And that feeds back into dating again, and it becomes this spiral.
And that’s how people get a long way from feeling like their best selves anymore. They get so detached from their own value and their own confidence that it can be hard to find a way back. And the shame about that, and I say this with 15 years of doing this with people, and not one kind of person, not one demographic, not one age group, and seeing the results that happen for people if they can just stay in the game and if they can just bring the right energy to it in spite of all of that pain. And I know for some people that takes a whole different level of resilience than it does for other people, I know that. But when you do stay in the game, magical things do happen. You can find a relationship that is better than any relationship you’ve ever had in the past. You can find someone who actually is right for you, and you don’t need everyone to be right for you, you don’t. You don’t even need 99.9% of people to be right for you. You just need one.
The saddest part is that if we ever come across that one and our energy isn’t in the place where they can see our light, where they can see how great we are, we can lose out on the person that’s right for us.
So here’s my invitation to you. I want you to, in the face of all rejection, in the face of all pain, to still say to yourself, “I’m going to invest in making myself the most confident, happy version of me. And I’m going to accept that I’m going to be wrong for a lot of people. I’m going to accept that there’s more rejection on the horizon for me. I’m going to accept that I’m still going to have to go through some challenging situations. But I’m also going to keep in my mind the entire time that if I get my happiness to the right place and if I get my confidence to the right place, then I’m going to be able to move through all of that. And part it to the side, so that I can meet my person, the person that’s going to make it all worthwhile.”
Now, this October, I’m spending six days with an exclusive group of people that I’m going to be doing this with. I’m going to be working with them on transforming their confidence from the inside out, so that they have a completely different relationship with themselves, so that they fundamentally see themselves differently than they ever have before, so that they can bring a powerful energy to their love lives, and so that they can finally attract the relationship they’ve always wanted to attract.
And if you’d like to be a part of that, this moment right now is my invitation to you to apply. You can go to MHRetreat.com, you’ll find all of the information there. I hope you go and look into it. It’s my favorite thing in the world that I do, and I know that if you do this, it will be one of the greatest decisions you ever make in your life, and you will never stop thanking yourself for it. So I’ll see you over there, MHRetreat.com is the link. Thank you for watching this and thank you for being brave enough to not give up.
How can different types of play be a means of developing important lifelong skills for your young child? Turns out, science has discovered that the kind of play traditionally associated with “rough- and- tumble dads”, has clear connections with better school achievement, greater impulse control and focus, improved emotional intelligence and even better peer relations. Anyone of any gender – parent or not – can engage in this type of play with the kids in their life.
As adults, we know intellectually that play is important, but as we grow up it’s so easy to relegate that to another data point, instead of action. Play, after all, is serious business. Play is how kids learn about the world around them and about themselves. It is how they communicate and interact with the people around them.
There is a profound and often underestimated value to having playful adults around as kids grow up, too. Research by Ross Parke and Michael Lamb has also revealed some surprising things about play styles, and a sometimes-undervalued style of interacting with kids can be essential for helping children develop emotional regulation and impulse control.
Differing Approaches to Play
Research has identified two general styles that adults use when playing with kids. One is a gentle type of play that focuses on visuals, learning, and verbal communication. This more gentle play style also tends to include encouraging kids to stick with something that they do not find immediately interesting. Think arts and crafts, storytime, learning to bake together, or doing giant puzzles on the floor together.
The other is a more rough-and-tumble, energetic style of play that tends to switch directions more often. This is a type of play that focuses on physicality and changes as soon as the child is no longer interested. This could be “who can hula-hoop the longest” competitions, games of tag in the yard, or carrying kids around the house upside down for as long as they’re laughing about it.
While the research was done in a gender-linked way, and each style can be stereotyped as “mom’s play” or “dad’s play” the reality is that anyone of any gender – parent or not – can engage in either type of play (or both types!) with the kids in their life.
The Real-World Impacts on Children
While the more energetic type of play can sometimes be seen as less educational, the research disagrees. Instead, by having to follow a period of intensely exciting play with sudden boredom, and then switch gears again, kids learn to regulate their emotions more effectively. They also learn patience, and to control their impulses. This leads, according to research, to a laundry list of great outcomes for children. In other words, the “less educational” type of play can, in fact, be just as educational and essential.
In our forthcoming parenting newsletter, you’ll gain access to a wealth of knowledge and science, solutions to common and uncommon parenting problems, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Because every parenting journey deserves a roadmap.
Ways to Inject Energetic Play Into Your Day
As a parent, or as any adult in a kid’s life, there’s a few easy ways to inject energetic play into their life, and it doesn’t have to be a big production or trip to the park. Instead, try taking just a few minutes to:
Jump across the cracks in the sidewalk.
If you physically can, carry the kid around and help them pretend that they’re flying.
Take a 2 minute dance break when switching tasks.
Get on the floor with the kid and imitate their every move. It will get them giggling, and encourage them to explore movement in new ways.
Want research-backed tips on parenting delivered straight to your inbox?
Soon we’ll be launching a parenting newsletter. It will have a wealth of knowledge and science, solutions to common and uncommon parenting problems, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Because every parenting journey deserves a roadmap.
