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Category: Dating & Love

Dating & Love | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.

  • This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He’s NOT SERIOUS | Get The Guy

    This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He’s NOT SERIOUS | Get The Guy

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    We’re all familiar with obvious red flags, but some red flags feel so good, they’re easy to miss . . . you know, like when someone is saying the most romantic things, wanting to spend all of their time with us, and making plans for the future . . .

    In this week’s new video, we share a test that can help you tell the difference, so you can weed out the love bombers and focus on someone who shows you genuine interest.

    

    Discover the 4 Secrets for Escaping Casual Dating Traps
    Claim Your FREE PASS for My Dating With Results Training . . .
    TAP HERE

    Audrey:

    Is it appropriate for someone who you’ve met-

    Matthew:

    No!

    Audrey:

    Yeah.

    Matthew:

    No, no, no, no, no. There’s very little about what was just said that’s appropriate.

    So for this week, I thought I’d do something a little different. I have a club called the Love Life Club, and every month, I answer questions of my members. This one caught my attention as something that would be fun to bring to all of you here. It was someone who asked, “How do you know the difference between someone who is love bombing you, and someone who has real intentions?” This was my answer. And by the way, don’t forget to like this video, subscribe to this channel, and hit the notification bell, so that you get notified the next time we do a video.

    Audrey:

    Can we do one final question?

    Matthew:

    Please. Yeah.

    Audrey:

    From someone called Tamila; “How do I differentiate between love bombing and genuine attention? I met a man online,” in brackets, “I’m traveling out of country. He was pursuing me, and is waiting to meet when I’m back in the US. We’re in different states, and he’s organizing a date in his city, San Diego, in a month. In his text, there’s a lot of “us” talk, talk of living together, how many kids I’d want, asking me for my preferences on houses, calling me wifey, et cetera. Help. How do I differentiate between love bombing and genuine intention?”

    Matthew:

    How long has she been speaking to this man?

    Audrey:

    She met him online.

    Matthew:

    But how long ago?

    Audrey:

    It doesn’t say. But is it appropriate for someone who you met-

    Matthew:

    No!

    Audrey:

    Yeah.

    Matthew:

    No, no, no, no, no. There’s very little about what was just said that’s appropriate. That has love bombing written all over it.

    Audrey:

    How do you not get swept up? Because it’s a lovely thing to hear, right? You meet someone you find attractive, whatever, and they’re saying all the right things, and they’re saying all these . . . How do you stop yourself from getting carried away in those kinds of words?

    Matthew:

    Here’s what you hear in your head. Imagine someone just rang your phone, it was an unknown number, and you picked it up, and it was a automated message, and it said, “You have been selected from a random pool of people to collect $2 million. All you need to do to collect your winnings is to speak now with your bank account details, so that we can deposit the funds.” That’s what you imagine being said. Because if that happened, we’d all be like, “Hang up. This doesn’t make any sense, why you’re giving me $2 million right now. I’ve never been that lucky in my entire life. It doesn’t add up. $2 million is not that easy to make. No.”

    If someone, out of nowhere, starts saying “Wifey this, wifey that, we’re going to have this many kids, we’re going to live in this house,” either they are projecting to a scary degree, which means that there’s something unhealthy about them, and they believe they’re this in love with you, and they’re mistaken because they don’t even know you. So that love isn’t real, and you’re dealing with a really unhealthy person. Or you’re dealing with a scammer. What they’re scamming you out of, it might be sex, it might be money, it might be just all of your energy, and they’re not going to give you anything in return. They’re just going to bring you out to San Diego, and have fun with you, and then send you back and be like, “What are you . . . Wifey? What? I didn’t say any of that. I don’t remember any of that.” They’re trying to get something. They’re trying to get something.

    So you have to start seeing it for what it really is. It feels nice to be told you just won a million dollars, but you can’t trust it. And it’s the same with this. How can you feel this way about me? You do not know me. You have no idea who I am. So either take the time to actually get to know who I am and let’s start again, or I’m going to see this for what it is, which is either a gross projection or a manipulation. But someone can only know you over time by asking questions, by taking the time to actually get to know you.

    And by the way, be careful of traveling to see someone who you don’t know. In general, are they willing to make an effort to see you? Could they meet you halfway? Is there a way for the two of you to meet in a way that requires at least some mutual investment? Because the “Fly to be with me in my backyard” is a very easy thing to say to someone. And I’m not saying that means they’re dangerous or evil, but at the very least, it’s a lot of work for you and none for them.

    Audrey:

    I think that’s such a good point. We’ve made it before, but when somebody asks you to fly to see them, it feels like investment, because you go, “Oh my God, they really want to spend all this time with me.” But actually, it’s no investment if the person is thinking, “Well, I’m going to have a nice weekend, I’m going to get sex out of it, and then they fly home and I never have to think about it again, or I certainly don’t have to think about it further than that weekend until I decide.” But we think it feels . . . Because it feels like investment, right? It feels like it’s something serious, because you think, “Oh, this person wants to spend a weekend with me.”

    Matthew:

    Exactly. Exactly.

    Audrey:

    So yeah, I think that’s really interesting.

    Matthew:

    What it is, is you’re depositing a whole lot of money for very little investment on their part.

    Thank you so much for watching. Before you go, if finding love is a priority for you this year, I have something for you that is brand new, I’m really excited about it. It’s a training that’s completely free, that you can do right now, that shows you how to avoid casual situations, how to finally find your person, and how to get the commitment that you deserve with them. It’s called Dating With Results. Thousands of people have now been through this training, and it’s available for you to watch right now, at DatingWithResults.com. Go check it out, I can’t wait to see what you think, and I’ll speak to you soon.

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    Fionnuala Mckenna

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  • Your Guide On Numerology Compatibility – What’s Your Life Path Number And Who Are You Most Compatible With?

    Your Guide On Numerology Compatibility – What’s Your Life Path Number And Who Are You Most Compatible With?

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    Do I have marriage compatibility with my boyfriend? Is my girlfriend ‘the one’? Who is my ideal partner? Am I compatible with my partner? A lot of elements come into play in determining the answers to these questions. For those who believe that our destinies are governed by a higher power, numerology love reading can help find a lot of these answers. Numerology compatibility can unveil secrets about your love life, dating experiences, and marriage prospects.

    In consultation with Aakanksha Jhunjhunwala (Master’s in Counseling Psychology), who is an experienced astrologer with a history of working in the individual and family services industry, we will help you understand everything about love numerology compatibility. As you read this ultimate guide, we only wish you growth, love, and healing!

    What Is Numerology Compatibility?

    Your Life Path Number can tell you a lot about your core values and energies surrounding you. It reflects your innermost values and personality traits. Now, you may be aware that each Life Path Number is associated with a unique set of qualities, strengths, and weaknesses, all of which have a strong influence on your life choices. But, the interesting part is, numerology can also help you understand the relationship compatibility between you and your partner.

    Aakanksha says, “Numerology compatibility is a very useful tool to determine how well suited two people are to each other. This method uses your birth date and your partner’s birth date to check the similarities and differences between you. Every number has its corresponding characteristics and personality and its study or analysis is called numerology.”

    In other words, numerology love reading is a study of numbers to assess the course of your romantic relationships, along with other life events. It has been used for thousands of years, across multiple eras, cultures, and countries.

    Related Reading: List Of Angel Numbers For Love And Relationship

    How To Calculate Your Life Path Number?

    Have you ever met a person for the first time in your life and felt a strong connection with them? Or just a magical spark? These are signs from the universe that love is coming your way. Chances are, there is a Life Path compatibility match at play. Now, the question is: how do you calculate your Life Path Number? Or your partner’s?

    Aakanksha gives us a simple formula, “To figure out your Life Path Number, you need to add the complete date of your birth – the day, month, and year in which you were born, separating all the digits. For example, if your birthday is 5th December 1993, you would add it up the following way: 0+5+1+2+1+9+9+3 = 30. You would then reduce the number down to a single digit: 3+0=3. Thus, your life path number would be 3.”

    Numerology Compatibility – Who Are You Romantically Most Compatible With?

    Of course, your Life Path Number calculation can give you some mind-blowing details on the kind of life you will live. But this love match test does more than that. It can provide a lot of insights into your prospective matches to build a healthy relationship. Yes, it is believed that Life Path Numerology love compatibility between individuals can determine how deep and fulfilling their relationship will be.

    So, do you want to know how your Life Path Number can affect your romantic relationships? Are you interested in exploring your Life Path marriage compatibility? Do you want to understand your perfect match as per the Numerology Life Path Number compatibility calculator? Read on to gain some clarity about your love life:

    1. Life Path Number 1

    Progress is really important for you. You know how to improve communication in relationships. You’re a born leader, and your leadership impresses everyone. You like individualization and are business minded. Aakanksha says, “You are straightforward, bright, and honest, like to be social, are a natural innovator, and seek challenges. You enjoy attention and being in the limelight. On the flip side, you could be dominating and bossy at times. That is why you are compatible with Life Path Numbers 4 and 7.”

    Let us look at the other side of the coin. What if you are in a relationship with Life Path Number 1? Well, expect it to be fun, lively, and exciting. But, since your partner has their way of doing things (and they can be quite rigid about it), you may feel ignored and neglected in your relationship at times.

    2. Life Path Number 2

    Speaking about Life Path Number 2 compatibility with others, Aakanksha says, “You are an emotional person – caring and supportive. You can adapt to almost any situation and are generally diplomatic because you like to lead a peaceful life. Despite being a romantic at heart, you have a clear vision for your life. However, you avoid taking responsibility or making decisions and may also lack confidence. You are compatible with Life Path Numbers 5 and 8.”

    A person who dates you will realize how cooperative and understanding you are. You seek to create a balanced relationship with your SO and are a good mediator. Emotions rule you and you are sensitive. But this also means you may easily get hurt in relationships. Our golden tip for you is to travel more and you’ll find peace and happiness. A career in analytics and investigative roles may also do wonders for you.

    3. Life Path Number 3

    What is the Life Path Number 3 compatibility with others? What does the Life Path Number 3 love life look like? “You are talkative, disciplined, hard-working, strong, organized, enthusiastic, optimistic, and tenacious, and you value independence. But, you also tend to ignore other people’s feelings. This trait can get in the way of Life Path Number 3 compatibility with most others. You are most compatible with Life Path Numbers 6 and 9,” says Aakanksha.

    In relationships, people with Life Path Number 3 tend to be lively and fun-loving, so they enjoy it when things are light and flowy. They can be childlike at times, but that doesn’t keep them from stepping up when needed. Their wisdom and unique ideas contribute immensely to improving the quality of relationships.

    Related Reading: 10 Signs You Are In A Spiritual Relationship With Someone

    4. Life Path Number 4

    You are reliable and blessed with a good sense of humor, a charismatic personality, and a taste for acquiring the finer things in life. But you’re also very selective and introverted and can be impatient and reckless in some situations. For example, you may often find yourself taking up additional responsibilities, which leave you feeling burdened. Based on these characteristics, your numerology love compatibility best aligns with Life Path Numbers 7 and 1.

    People with this Life Path Number value commitment in a relationship and make extremely faithful partners, which is great news for their significant others. At the same time, those in a relationship with a Life Path Number 4 person may feel that the connection lacks romance, thrill, and excitement.

    5. Life Path Number 5

    Those with Life Path Number 5 are super adventurous, and love experimenting in relationships. While it can be thrilling and fun, it may sometimes lead to only short-lived connections. You are all about movement and great communication. And value things like travel and good dressing sense. You are conscious of your appearance.

    Aakanksha tells us, “You are witty, charming, full of enthusiasm, have a way with words, and find it easy to learn new languages. While you have got a great knack for adapting to situations, you also have a quick temper and may not always know how to control anger in a relationship. You are also easily bored. Based on these traits, your perfect match will be Life Path Numbers 2 and 8.”

    6. Life Path Number 6

    Caring, romantic, and protective of your loved ones and family, you can seem like a dream partner at the outset but sometimes, in relationships, you can also be exhausting. Aakanksha shares, “Trustworthy, romantic, sensual, attractive, and cheerful, you’ve got all the traits of a person who likes to wear their heart on their sleeve. But you also tend to be passive in certain situations, which may bring sadness into your life. Your love and marriage compatibility is best with Life Path Numbers 3 and 9, who can perfectly complement your personality and balance out the romantic equation.”

    Related Reading: 25 Ways To Show Someone You Care

    7. Life Path Number 7

    Curious, intelligent, passionate – you seek meaning in everything. You’re guided by your intuition and often go with your gut feeling while choosing your partner. However, your analytical mind may lead you to question your own judgment. You may also be introverted and hide your real self from your partner.

    What does all of this mean for Life Path Number 7 love life? Aakanksha explains, “You are a spiritual, philosophical, and sensitive person with an ability to influence others. However, your shyness and introverted nature make it harder for you to open up to others, which can make you come across as rude or insensitive to some people. You need a partner who can help you let your guard down, and that’s why Life Path Number 7 love compatibility is the best with Life Path Numbers 1 and 4.”

    8. Life Path Number 8

    People respect you for your willpower and hard work. You love being in a position of power. This domineering personality can be overwhelming for your partner. However, you really make up for it with your commitment in a marriage and in intimate relationships.

    Aakansha says, “You are rebellious and unconventional. These characteristics motivate you to move ahead and achieve success in your life. Your willpower is incredible. You are decisive and have great organizational skills but in certain situations, you can be dominating and blunt. You need a partner who can balance you out with their soft energy, and that’s why you are romantically compatible with Life Path Numbers 2 and 5.”

    9. Life Path Number 9

    People with Life Path Number 9 are truly generous and compassionate and capable of building romantic and soothing connections with their significant others. As a number 9, you have an innate ability to get along with people, which can be empowering. At the same time, you can be a little pessimistic and stubborn, making it hard for your partner to be there for you when the going gets tough.

    “Creative, imaginative, and sensitive, you are a fighter who likes to set high and unrealistic goals. You are driven by emotions and can get too intense sometimes, especially during an argument. Life Numbers 3 and 6 are best suited as long-term partners for you, as they can truly bring out the best in you and not be deterred by your flaws and shortcomings,” says Aakanksha.

    Related Reading: 4 Types Of Soulmates And Deep Soul Connection Signs

    10. Life Path number 10

    If you love numerology or love reading about numerology, you know how unique Life Path number 10 is. As a Life Path 10, you enjoy the simple things in life and are intrigued by fresh ideas. You are a born leader and your energy is infectious. Creative, dynamic, romantic, confident, and decisive – you have so much to offer to the world.

    At the same time, you often fear that you won’t find true love. Therefore, you may settle for less in a relationship. However, if you take it slow, you’ll fall in love at the right time and with the right person. Your great sense of humor and your charisma can be super attractive to a partner. You are compatible with many numbers, especially Life Path Numbers 5 and 7.

    Key Pointers

    • There are a lot of elements that determine whether you and your partner are compatible – and numerology is one of them
    • The Life Path Number is derived by summing up a person’s date of birth and the traits associated with your Life Path Number determine what kind of people you’d be most compatible with
    • For instance, Life Path Number 3 is most compatible with numbers 6 and 9, 10 with 5 and 7, and so on
    • Understanding numerology compatibility can help you find healthy, meaningful, and happy love

    Remember that your numerology love compatibility is not set in stone. Yes, you may have some core values and traits associated with your Life Path Number. Through our Life Path compatibility calculator, you may get a fresh perspective on your love life. However, these numbers do not limit you, your desires, needs, and relationships. You always have the chance to evolve, change and explore the best of possibilities. As you navigate these possibilities, your numerology compatibility is only a guide to help you align with healthy, meaningful, and happy love.

    Sexual Soul Ties: Meaning, Signs, And How To Break Away

    11 Signs Of Magnetic Attraction Between Two People

    Twin Flame Vs Soulmate – 8 Key Differences

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  • Jealousy vs. Envy: What’s the difference? – Couples retreats and Online Couples Therapy

    Jealousy vs. Envy: What’s the difference? – Couples retreats and Online Couples Therapy

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    What is the difference between envy and jealousy? Envy and jealousy are often used interchangeably. Nevertheless, they are distinct emotions with different underlying motivations and triggers. While both emotions involve a desire for something someone else possesses, there are key differences between feeling jealous and envious.

    Envy and jealousy differ in their focus and triggers. Envy arises from a desire for something someone else possesses. In contrast, jealousy stems from a perceived threat to something or someone another already possesses. Envy focuses on what others have, while jealousy revolves around protecting what one already has.

    What is envy?

    Envy arises when an individual desires something another person has, whether a possession, achievement, quality, or attribute. You may feel longing, resentment, or bitterness towards a person who has what you want. Envy often stems from a sense of not feeling good enough or a perceived lack in oneself.

    For example, suppose someone covets their friend’s luxurious home and feels resentful about not having one like it. That can be classified as envy.

    Is it normal for spouses to feel envious of each other?

    Spouses can and do envy each other. They might envy material possessions such as inheritance. They might envy their career achievements or personal qualities, such as cheerfulness or natural energy.

    Finally, spouses might even envy others’ attention and affection, including their children, siblings, or family members.

    Is envy unhealthy?

    Envy in a relationship does not necessarily indicate a negative or unhealthy dynamic. It is natural for individuals to compare themselves to their partners and sometimes feel envious of their successes or qualities.

    Healthy admiration vs. crippling envy

    Envy is not the same as healthy admiration or inspiration. A partner’s achievements inspire many happy marriages. They use their spouse’s gains to motivate themselves toward personal growth.

    However, when envy becomes pervasive, it leads to bitterness or can damage the relationship’s trust and harmony. It may require further attention and resolution through honest communication or professional guidance.

    What does feeling jealous mean?

    On the other hand, jealousy occurs when:

    • A valued relationship feels threatened or
    • You fear losing someone or something you already possess.

    Jealousy is rooted in insecurity, possessiveness, or competition. It involves a protective and defensive response to a perceived rival or the perceived attention given to someone else. For instance, you might feel anxious or threatened when your partner spends time with an attractive colleague.

    What is jealous rage?

    Jealous rage is an intense and extreme emotional response triggered by jealousy. It occurs when jealousy feelings become overwhelming and uncontrollable, leading to a destructive and aggressive reaction.

    Jealous rage is a serious issue that can have damaging consequences. Seek professional help to address the underlying causes and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

    How to navigate jealousy and envy in your relationship

    Feelings of jealousy and envy between spouses are influenced by factors such as:

    • Individual insecurities, inadequacy, and low self-esteem
    • Self-comparisons
    • Fear of abandonment
    • The constant need for validation and reassurance
    • Natural outgoingness or flirtatiousness or
    • A sense of competition within the relationship.

    However, it is crucial to address and manage envy and jealousy constructively. Start by encouraging each other’s growth and celebrating successes as a team. You are less likely to feel either if you see a win for one as a win for all. Open communication, empathy, and support prevents jealousy or envy from becoming destructive or causing resentment.

    Managing jealousy and envy is a joint effort. It requires understanding and patience. Focusing on individual strengths and contributions can foster a supportive and secure relational environment. By working together and fostering a supportive and secure environment, couples can navigate envy and jealousy and strengthen their relationship.

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    Dr. K

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  • Why 40% Of The United States Are SINGLE…

    Why 40% Of The United States Are SINGLE…

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    Why 40% Of The United States Are SINGLE…

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    Tripp Advice

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  • 7 Expert Tips To Resolve Conflict In A Marriage

    7 Expert Tips To Resolve Conflict In A Marriage

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    When you’re saying “I do”, it’s with the hope that the “happily ever after” you’ve dreamt up will now come to pass. However, when the nasty fights eventually roll around and you realize that sharing a roof with the person you just fought with can drive you mad, understanding how to resolve conflict in a marriage is a must.

    The causes of conflict in a marriage are influenced by how each couple operates. One thing that remains common is that all couples fight – even the obnoxious friends you have who always claim otherwise (we’re on to you, Marty and Linda).

    In fact, we’d even go as far as to say that arguing in a marriage is healthy, as long as you know the art of understanding each other and resolving marital conflicts. During such fights, you get to know what’s a dealbreaker and what’s not, and just how much your spouse hates shoes in the living room. With the help of consultant psychologist Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), who is a gender and relationship management expert, let’s understand how you can deal with conflict in marriage and feel closer again to one another.

    Common Causes Of Conflict In A Marriage

    As we mentioned, the causes of conflict in a marriage can be as unique as couples themselves. Richard hates how Jolene never rinses her dishes or puts her dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Mariah hates how Jacob always wants to hog down on his food, never even taking the time out to chew. 

    What leads to problems, however, is when Richard and Mariah both let their emotions take over and turn completely manageable fights into ugly episodes. They fight dirty, and the snarky remarks bring about more problems than they intended. It can often signal a lack of respect in the relationship, and that’s exactly why knowing how to resolve problems in a marriage is essential.

    However, before we get to that and understand how spouses can reduce marital conflict, it’s important to take a look at the most common causes of screaming matches and name-calling: 

    • Unmet expectations: As you’ll soon find out, understanding how to resolve conflict in a marriage also largely revolves around voicing your expectations and working around them. Only through communication can issues like these be resolved
    • Money issues: Once you’re married, finances go from being an afterthought to something that determines the health of your relationship. “When there’s no openness about how you’re going to deal with finances and what your plan of action is, it often leads to misunderstanding and miscommunication,” says Jaseena. According to a study, financial hardship is one of the major reasons for divorce
    • Incompatibility under the sheets: Sexual compatibility can so often be the reason for marital conflict and unmet needs. It’s no surprise that unmet needs and sexual dissatisfaction are often cited as the reasons for infidelity as well, so it’s clear to see just how big of a problem this is. How to resolve conflict in a marriage revolves around understanding exactly where the incompatibility lies, so it’s important to know what you two don’t connect on
    • Parenting disputes: It’s something that people do not find out about each other till they’re already parents since nobody asks their partner how they are as a parent (frankly, it’s because most don’t know themselves). “I’ve seen that not agreeing on how you need to parent your child is one of the major causes of conflict in marriage,” notes Jaseena
    • Lack of healthy communication: We get it, understanding how to resolve conflict in a marriage isn’t the easiest thing in the world. However, sweeping a heated argument under the rug is. It’s a lot more tempting to let something go than to talk about it, which can lead to ineffective communication in most marriages

    These are a few of the most common causes of conflict in marriage, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that you’ve fought about something listed above with your partner. But, how to resolve disagreements in a marriage or relationship is about understanding how to resolve conflicts between husband and wife. Let’s take a look at how you can deal with conflict in marriage.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube channel.

    7 Expert Tips To Resolve Conflict In A Marriage

    “I don’t know how to resolve conflict in a marriage, and it often leads to minor fights turning into very, very ugly ones,” notes Macy, adding, “We fought about being late to an event, which somehow led to a fight about how I am as a person and how he could not deal with it. We spend nights apart just because we can’t resolve these heated arguments that come up. Everything turns into a big issue, and we end up stonewalling each other.” 

    When you’re not sure of the steps in resolving interpersonal conflict between husband and wife, it often leads to janky communication. That, in turn, leads to more misunderstandings. Jaseena points out 7 tips on how you can resolve issues with your spouse, so you don’t end up getting a one-way ticket to the sofa:

    Related Reading: 7 Point Ultimate Happy Marriage Checklist You MUST Follow

    1. State your expectations and listen to theirs to avoid conflict

    When asked how to resolve marriage problems, Jaseena was quick to answer with, “Stating your expectations is the first step. Make sure you express what you want from your partner, and that you make them feel heard when they tell you what they need. From there, you can begin finding common ground. 

    “Whether you’re fighting about parenting or finances, the most important thing to do is state what you’re expecting from your partner, and make them understand that you acknowledge what they expect as well. Talk about things like who is going to contribute to what, how you expect to handle the finances or who plays the role of what as parents.

    • Having a healthy dialogue: Make communication your biggest strength in this relationship if you are serious about learning how spouses can reduce marital conflict
    • Don’t just think of your own personal interests: While it is necessary that you lay out your expectations, do manage them in a way to accommodate the other person. Think about your needs, and how they fit in the bigger scheme of things and whether your partner can provide for those or not
    • Give full attention to them as well: Understanding one another is key, and so you will also have to consciously listen to your partner’s demands. Don’t be quick to judge them or dismiss them. Take time to understand what they are asking of you

    “By discussing your expectations in a relationship, you make sure nothing is left to chance.” Perhaps what’s most important about this way to resolve a problem with your spouse is that you make sure you’re not turning the whole thing ugly and that apathy is not your go-to response. 

    2. Approach communication the right way 

    Jaseena explains how you must approach communication while understanding how to resolve a conflict between husband and wife. “Be open minded. When you talk about things like sexual incompatibility, don’t walk into it with a preconceived mindset. Try to listen to your partner’s point of view as well. 

    • Stay composed: Instead of slamming the door open and screaming out, “How DARE you do that to me?”, take a moment to speak calmly to them, as otherwise you would only makes things worse. Understand that screaming and hurling accusations or abuses is not going to do anyone any favors so steer clear of such behaviour
    • Don’t let them disrespect you: If they are they ones being rude, don’t feel frustrated and give in to them. Try to calmly reason with them and enable them to be better
    • Don’t have an accusatory tone: Even if it’s something that’s really bothering you, try not to accuse your partner and point fingers at them or just keep blame shifting. Discuss the conflict at hand, and be willing to look at the bigger picture instead of an isolated incident

    When figuring out how to resolve problems in a marriage, one of the biggest things to keep in mind is that effective communication only takes place when you’re not yelling or making sarcastic comments. 

    3. For resolving conflict in a marriage, you have to take responsibility 

    When you care more about being right, you’re stating that you care more about winning. You keep a scorecard, and you care more about your partner apologizing to make you feel validated. As a result, you’ll see more resentment in your marriage.

    • Your goal is to reconcile: Instead of just making your point of view the sole focus of the argument, try to work on reconciliation instead of whose ego is being stroked and whose isn’t
    • Tell them that you are on the same side: If your partner is feeling threatened by your words and behavior, you must reassure them that you have good intentions, and you two are trying to work towards the same goal and have one purpose, which is to be happy together
    • Be open minded: When your partner points out your flaws, don’t make it about how you feel. Instead, try to think of what is making them feel that way and see if there is any merit to what the other partner is saying to you

    “In the process of understanding how to resolve issues in a marriage, it’s important to also learn to own up to your own mistakes. Even if you are convinced of the fact that you didn’t make any, listen to your partner and own up to how you made them feel,” says Jaseena. 

    4. Stonewalling needs to be avoided at all costs

    While it’s tempting to scream out, “You never listen to me. All you do is always look at your point of view”, and storm out, it’s just going to lead to more arguments and problems down the line. Also, don’t use the words “always” and “never”. You’re supposed to talk about the incident that happened, not a generalized view of the person. 

    • Take space, but not for too long: Coming back to the point of how to resolve arguments between husband and wife, know that avoiding all communication because you’re upset is not going to work. It’s basically like expecting them to know all the right things to say, which is only going to lead to more unmet needs
    • Don’t bring in unrelated issues and sulk: During an argument, all the little things or issues which you brushed aside earlier may also crop up and worsen the situation. Try to consciously avoid bringing in any other disagreements, and try to focus on the one issue or one problem for that time
    • Have healthy body language: Even if you two are not speaking, do not go around banging doors or walking out of a room that they enter. Don’t make angry faces at them if they try to speak to you

    Whether you look at biblical ways to resolve arguments in marriage or go by what your friend told you the other day, it’s clear to see that there needs to be communication to cultivate any reconciliation. Jesus Christ or your best friend can’t always help you. You need to help yourself too.

    Infographic on Ways to resolve conflict in a marriage
    Ways to resolve conflict in a marriage

    5. How to resolve disagreements in a marriage? Compromise 

    You can set new boundaries in your relationship, talk about an arrangement that benefits you both, or even come up with a tolerable system. But if you sink your teeth in and never let go of the “my way or the highway” approach, you’re in for a bumpy ride. 

    • You might have to change your ways: In marriage, you two are trying to make it work for the long haul. This is one of the guidelines for resolving conflicts in marriage that will take you guys a long way. Don’t let your personal struggles overspill into your relationship. You should try to continue to change and be a better partner for the one you love
    • Don’t lose your individuality: There is a fine line between making a compromise to make someone happy and losing your personality. Make sure you are paying attention to what your partner is asking of you, but you do not always have to move mountains for them if it is affecting your core belief system
    • Test your limits: You will be surprised at how much you can change for a person you love, and how it can better your relationship. Show your partner that you have the same mind regarding coming to a conclusion and that you want to be happy together

    Be willing to talk about what works for the both of you but make sure your anger isn’t making you demand unrealistic things. While figuring out how to resolve problems in a marriage, introducing empathy into your relationship is going to help out a lot. 

    Related Reading: 6 Sensible Tips For Getting Through The First Year Of Marriage

    6. Tackle arguments and lead them to discussions 

    Name-calling, sarcasm or snarky remarks will cause lasting damage to your connection. Another thing you must avoid is jumping to conclusions. For example, when your partner says, “I wish we could talk in a more civil manner”, don’t assume that they’re criticizing the way you speak to them. Perhaps they just genuinely wish you’d both calm down and engage in healthy conflict resolution.

    • Find the root cause: “One of the first steps in resolving interpersonal conflict between husband and wife is to get to the root cause of the problem, not to blame each other in a generalized way. Have a conversation without being nasty. The whole point is to reconcile, not to cause more problems,” says Jaseena
    • Stay focussed on the current conflict: If you are upset about how messy you are, don’t bring in how they did not spend time with you last week. That is a conversation for a different time. At present, you already have another disagreement at hand

    When you both approach it in the right way, you’re bound to reach a conclusion pretty soon. If you were to look at biblical ways to resolve problems in marriage, you’re probably not going to be asked to scream at the other person, right? 

    7. Remind each other that you care 

    Even if we provide you with several strategies and tips for resolving conflicts in relationships, they won’t work without this one. When you’re both screaming at each other, calling each other not-so-nice names and when the sarcastic comments don’t stop rolling in, it’s easy to think your partner doesn’t care anymore. When you understand how to resolve issues in a marriage, you understand that making your partner feel cared for is an utmost priority.

    • They need to know you love them: Only once they know that you care about them and they care about you will you both even try to move toward reconciliation and a healthy relationship, instead of focusing on who is “right”. You both wouldn’t be fighting for the future of your relationship if you didn’t think it existed, right? Don’t let any kind of empty conceit ruin your relationship
    • Take a breather: In the middle of the argument, consider pausing or asking for a time out. Compliment them, thank them for something they did earlier or just give them a kiss on the forehead and make eye contact in a loving way. Find some kind of common ground

    In the heat of the moment, understanding how to resolve problems in a marriage is probably something most couples don’t consider. However, to ensure a harmonious union (read: tolerable union), you must try to keep your cool whilst striving toward reconciliation. Show them that you two have the same mind about this and you are not against each other.

    Key Pointers

    • Healthy communication habits are the foremost way to resolve issues in a marriage. Keep an open mind and listen to them while carefully presenting your side of the story
    • Relationships are about compromise and you might have to make a few along the way to keep your relationship going
    • Don’t stonewall your partner or give them the silent treatment as it will further put a dent in your connection

    If constant arguments and animosity are tarnishing your relationship, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists can help you learn the art of conflict resolution, which will effectively improve your marriage and manage conflict. Whether its following five steps or fifteen, what is most important is that you are committed to making these things better with your partner. But for now, these are all the facts you need to know to eventually reconcile with your partner and feel complete joy.

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  • 51 Adventurous Date Ideas To Get Your Adrenaline Pumping

    51 Adventurous Date Ideas To Get Your Adrenaline Pumping

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    Netflix and chill, bonsai gardening, or a BBQ grill – sure, routine date nights can be super enjoyable. But let me spill the beans: once in a while, you need some adventurous date ideas. Especially if you’re a couple that loves a good adrenaline rush. And you know why? These dates can release dopamine in your brain. Yes, the same chemical associated with the early stages of falling in love. Your body also releases oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins – creating a love cocktail that enhances feelings of trust, touch, happiness, and well-being.

    Now, whether you’re up in the sky or scaling rock walls, these adventurous dates are more than just thrilling experiences – they’re an opportunity to tap into the love chemicals that deepen your connection and create sweet memories. So, get ready to create new butterflies and reignite the spark in your relationship.

    51 Adventurous Date Ideas For Daredevil Couples

    How adventurous are you? How far are you willing to dive into the pool of adventurous romance? I’ve curated a list of 51 daring and unforgettable date ideas that will have you soaring through the skies, diving into the depths of the ocean. From skydiving to roller skating, from scuba diving to hiking epic trails, weekend adventure ideas like these are endless. So instead of another what-should-we-watch conversation on your ‘Netflix and chill’ night, try something new from this list. Here are some of the wildest things to do with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

    1. Visit an amusement park

    Here is one of the unique first date ideas: visiting an amusement park or a theme park. After you find one near you, hop on the roller coasters with your partner and boost your endorphins and adrenaline. It doesn’t really matter whether you are a daredevil or you prefer to take things a little slow. These amusement parks will give you many options to have fun, and to come up with spontaneous adventure ideas that you’ll both love.

    Related Reading: 101 Love Riddles To Tickle Your Romantic Side – With Answers

    2. Plan a date to a natural hot spring

    Relax and unwind in natural hot springs, which offer soothing and mineral-rich waters. You can also enjoy the surrounding nature by taking a hike to reach your destination. These are super relaxing yet adventurous things to do for anniversary.

    3. Explore a random point on the map

    A map is basically full of wild dates ideas. Take a spontaneous adventure by closing your eyes, pointing to a random spot on a physical map or Google maps, and exploring that location together. It can be a nearby town or a weekend getaway. If you’re a couple who loves to travel, why not choose a spot anywhere in the world? Dream big and let your imagination run wild!

    4. Play hide-and-seek in an unfamiliar or unexpected place

    Who said it is just for kids? This classic game is one of the most fun ideas for a date. Choose an unexpected location, such as a home furniture store or even a bustling city center, and let the fun begin. Play hide-and-seek with your partner, and if it gets too challenging, you can text each other clues to help in the search. Get ready for laughter, excitement, and playful competition.

    5. Ride bikes together

    A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology states, “People reported high feelings of security (e.g., reliance, trust), in addition to growth (e.g., fun, excitement), when pursuing novel activities with a romantic partner.” So, would you like to hear one of our romantic adventure ideas?

    Discover a new neighborhood together by going on a thrilling bike ride. Trust me, this will inject a fresh breeze into your relationship. To make it even more exciting, go on random late night adventures by riding a tandem bike! It will enhance your teamwork skills while creating a memorable and active date experience.

    6. Go on a hot-air balloon ride

    Looking for outdoor activities for couples or exciting date ideas for your long-term relationship? If a hot-air balloon ride has been on your bucket list, seize the opportunity for an adventurous date night. Enjoy breathtaking views as you float above the world, hand in hand with your partner. It’s an experience filled with romance, tranquility and the thrill of adventure. Create a day that will leave you both in awe.

    7. First date adventure ideas – have fun at an indoor trampoline park

    Let your inner child out to play and get your endorphins pumping at an indoor trampoline park. This energetic and silly date idea is not only incredibly fun but also a great workout. Challenge each other to see who can perform the coolest tricks and flips. Laugh, jump, and create memories that will make your hearts soar.

    8. Play laser tag

    A study by Utah State University talks about the role of play in relationships, “Because we spend so much time acting like adults, we may feel it is childish to play and instead want to act seriously to maintain our dignity. Let your partner know your fears and trust him or her to help you overcome them. Do fun things that you feel comfortable with.”

    In fact, you can relive the excitement of your childhood with a game of laser tag. Engage in friendly competition as you navigate darkened arenas armed with laser guns. Get your competitive juices flowing, but don’t forget to laugh along the way. The loser can treat the winner to ice cream as a sweet reward. Such outdoor adventures for couples bring them closer and are intellectually stimulating as well.

    9. Visit an unusual bar with your partner

    Step outside your comfort zone and visit a bar with a unique theme or atmosphere. Explore tiki bars, retro-themed establishments, or even ice bars for a fun drink before dinner. You can try such adventurous date night ideas for double dates as well.

    10. Go geocaching

    Are you a fan of treasure hunts? Embark on a real-life treasure hunt by trying geocaching. Use your phone or a GPS device to search for hidden caches in your area. It’s an interactive and exciting activity that allows you to discover hidden treasures and leave surprises for others to find.

    Related Reading: The 13 Types Of Crushes You Have Had (Or Will Have) At Least Once!

    11. Visit a haunted house for a spooky adventure

    Who says haunted houses are just for Halloween? Take a spine-chilling adventure any time of the year by exploring a local haunted house. Research the closest one near you, known for its ghostly tales, and see if you can uncover any paranormal activity yourselves. It’s a date night filled with mystery, excitement, and perhaps a few hair-raising moments!

    12. Take your partner on a hiking date

    Escape into the great outdoors with a hiking date. Explore new or local trails and mountains together, and let nature work its magic on your relationship. Not only will you get your endorphins pumping, but you’ll also have the opportunity to strengthen your bond while surrounded by breathtaking scenery. Lace up your hiking boots and embark on an adventure hand in hand.

    13. Don’t plan a destination for your road trip

    A study says, “Couples who engaged in higher levels of shared experiences during their vacations, such as effective communication, showing affection, or experiencing new things together, reported higher levels of couple flexibility and cohesion following their vacations, regardless of the number of vacations.”

    Embrace your sense of adventure by going on a road trip without a predetermined destination. Explore the open road, make spontaneous stops, and discover hidden gems along the way. The freedom to follow your hearts’ desires and the unexpected moments will make for a memorable experience.

    14. Put on your skates

    Enjoy a fun date night by going skating. Whether it’s roller skating or ice skating, embrace the challenge and support each other as you glide across the rink. It’s a playful activity that guarantees laughter. Don’t worry about being ice skating experts – just enjoy the experience and create unforgettable memories.

    15. Go skydiving

    For the thrill-seekers among you, skydiving can be one of the best adventurous date ideas. While you won’t be able to jump at the same time, the exhilaration of soaring through the sky and the adrenaline rush that follows will create a unique bond. Quick tip: Choose a location with a breathtaking view.

    16. Try tandem bungee jumping

    What are some adventurous things to do with your girlfriend or boyfriend? How to set up an extreme date adventure? Well, if you’re a couple with an appetite for extreme adventures, tandem bungee jumping is the perfect date idea for you. It’s a thrilling experience that will test your courage and deepen your bond. Take the leap together, connected by a shared harness, and feel the adrenaline rush as you jump into the unknown.

    17. Pick some books randomly at a local bookstore

    Looking for cheap adventurous date ideas? Visit a local bookstore or library and embark on a spontaneous book adventure. Choose books at random, exploring different genres and subjects. Reading together opens up new worlds of imagination and provides plenty of conversation starters.

    Related Reading: 55 Hobbies For Couples To Feel Closer And Strengthen Their Bond

    18. Get locked in an escape room

    When you are locked in an escape room with your bae, you have to solve a puzzle or mystery to find the key to get out. Get locked in an escape room together and put your problem-solving skills to the test. Work as a team to solve puzzles, crack codes, and unravel the mystery within a set time limit. Such fun adventurous date ideas will keep you engaged and entertained. Quick tip: Try this activity as a double date with your couple friends for all the more fun.

    19. Camp in your own backyard for some fun times

    Are you both camping lovers and outdoorsy people? If a traditional camping trip isn’t your cup of tea, try this: camping in the comfort of your own backyard or living room. Set up a cozy tent, roll out your sleeping bags, and start camping right at home. You’ll still get a sense of adventure without sacrificing the luxuries of modern amenities. Plus, you’re just steps away from your own bathroom – what could be more convenient?

    20. Wake up early to visit a local farmers’ market

    Explore the vibrant atmosphere of a local farmers’ market. Discover fresh produce, unique ingredients, and delicious flavors as you stroll through the stalls. Challenge yourselves to try something new and create a meal using the ingredients you’ve purchased. It’s a farm-to-table experience that will leave you both feeling nourished and inspired.

    21. Test your limits with rock climbing

    Want to spend a few hours with your partner and have some fun? Experience the thrill of rock climbing together. Whether you try outdoor climbing or visit an indoor climbing gym, it’s an adventurous activity that challenges you both physically and mentally.

    22. Let loose and go skinny dipping

    Okay, let’s talk about adventurous date ideas summer edition. Go skinny dipping if you want to spice things up with your partner! Picture this: you find a beautiful body of water – a pool, an ocean, or even a secluded lake, and you both take a plunge. It’s the ultimate freedom and a whole lot of fun. Quick tip: Just make sure you choose a spot where skinny dip’s legal and safe.

    In fact, a study by the International Journal of Criminology and Sociology says, “In order to develop spontaneity, it is necessary to focus on the formation and development of creative abilities, autonomy of the personality, and to develop one’s willingness to be in unusual situations.”

    23. For more adventurous date ideas summer edition, take a boat out

    How about a day out on the water? You don’t need a yacht to enjoy such adventure challenge ideas. Rent a boat (that’s half the fun), whether it’s a motorboat or paddle boat, and spend the day on the water. Pack a picnic and enjoy the sun as you float about and create memories.

    24. Explore your own city like a tourist

    Discover the hidden gems of your own city by exploring its attractions as if you were a tourist. Visit iconic landmarks, take tours of historical sites, and rediscover the beauty of your hometown. Even if they seem cheesy or cliché, give them a chance. Trust me, you’ll be surprised by the adventures that await.

    Related Reading: Does My Husband Love Me? 15 Adorable Signs He Loves You Deeply

    25. One of the most adventurous things to do at night is to sneak into a hotel pool

    Ready for a bit of mischief and excitement? Sneaking into a hotel pool is the way to go! The thrill of getting in will make your hearts race. And once you’re inside, enjoy a date by the pool. As long as it’s safe, stay as long as you want. We’re sure you’ll find plenty of things to do in the pool with your boyfriend/girlfriend. To add an extra layer of excitement, create a fictional backstory that mentions you’re staying at the said hotel.

    26. Purposefully get lost

    Looking for outdoor activities for couples or dangerous fun things to do as a couple? Explore a new city or different part of town without a specific plan, allowing yourselves to wander and discover new things together. Switch off your phone (but keep it with you). If that’s not possible, you can still aimlessly explore anywhere and embrace the adventure of the unknown.

    27. Go zip lining

    Zip lining is an exciting and adventurous date idea. Check if there are any zip lining locations near you and experience the thrill of soaring through the air together. It’s an exhilarating activity that you’ll both enjoy.

    28. Play Truth or Dare

    Have a playful and engaging date by playing Truth or Dare. It’s a light-hearted and entertaining way to connect and learn more about each other. You can also play this game for easy adrenaline rush activities at home.

    29. Gauge your chemistry with paintballing

    Paintballing is a thrilling date idea that can boost your adrenaline and teamwork skills. Engage in friendly competition and effective communication as you navigate the paintball field. Just be cautious of potential bruises or injuries.

    30. Relive your childhoods

    Want to spend some quality time during a romantic evening? Rediscover the joy of your childhood by engaging in active couple activities and introducing each other to your favorite games. Or enjoy hula hoops or swings at the park, blow bubbles, or draw with sidewalk chalk. It’s a nostalgic and playful date experience.

    31. DIY outdoor adventure

    Plan a fun day of DIY activities together, like creating an obstacle course in your backyard or organizing a water balloon fight. Let your creativity shine and have an adventurous time exploring your ideas. Look up different craft projects online, complete a home DIY or restoration, or maybe even set up a herb garden.

    32. Book a wildlife safari

    For romantic adventure ideas, you can choose specially curated outdoor adventures for couples. How about a wildlife safari? From lions to giraffes, observe and learn about animals in their natural habitats. The experience will be both educational and fun.

    33. Treetop walkway

    Do you want a great stress-reliever that involves extreme tree climbing? Here’s an idea: Walk among the treetops on a specially designed walkway and enjoy some stunning views. It’s a peaceful and adventurous way to explore the beauty of trees. This can even be on your list of first date adventure ideas to impress your crush.

    34. Buy a cheap plane ticket

    If you have a few days off, surprise yourselves by booking the cheapest available plane ticket and going on a spontaneous adventure to wherever it takes you. Such fun adventurous date ideas will bring you to beautiful and unexpected destinations, and teach you both how to deal with unfamiliar situations together.

    Related Reading: 25 Fun Long-Distance Relationship Games For Couples To Grow Closer

    35. Cook something different together

    A survey conducted by OnePoll (on behalf of a meal kit company called HelloFresh) found that three-quarters of those polled would prefer to go on a date with someone who knows how to cook. Apart from showing kindness and having a good sense of humor, the respondents considered the ability to cook as one of the most attractive traits in a potential romantic partner.

    So, what are you waiting for? Take your cooking skills to the next level by preparing a dish you’ve never made before. Explore different cuisines or try a favorite recipe like lasagna. Even if things don’t go as planned, it will still be a fun and adventurous experience to share.

    36. One of the most exciting date ideas is to crash a party

    Ready for an unforgettable adventure? How about crashing a party? Find a lively wedding or event, give yourselves fake identities, and see if you can blend in with the crowd. It’s an exhilarating experience full of unexpected twists and turns. Just remember, enjoy the party and it’s all in good fun!

    37. Take a helicopter ride

    Add some excitement to your date night with a helicopter ride. Look for local helicopter ride options and enjoy breathtaking views as you soar through the sky together. You can even consider unique options like flying over a glacier or experiencing an open-door helicopter ride for an extra thrill. It’s an adventure that will create lasting memories.

    38. Attend an improv show

    Get ready for a night of laughter and spontaneity by attending an improv show. Watch as talented performers create hilarious scenes right in front of you. The unpredictable nature of improv will keep you engaged and you’ll have so much fun, especially if they choose to interact with the audience during their performance.

    39. Smash things

    Are you ready to release some pent-up energy? Try a unique and thrilling activity called a ‘smash room’ where you can let loose and destroy things in a safe environment. Remember the scene in Sex Education where they do this in order to deal with their personal frustrations as well as the collective angst of facing harassment? It’s a fantastic way to channel your aggression, get your endorphins pumping after a silly (note: silly) argument in a relationship, and have a smashing good time.

    40. Scare each other on an official ghost tour

    Embark on a spooky adventure by going on an official ghost tour. Explore your town at night while listening to haunted tales and uncovering hidden spots. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, it’s a unique and thrilling experience for a date night. These are some fun things to do in a small town with your boyfriend or girlfriend if you both love adventure.

    41. Go horseback riding

    Saddle up and enjoy a romantic horseback ride through the countryside or along a beautiful beach. Horseback riding is a wonderful way to connect with nature while experiencing the thrill of riding horses together.

    Related Reading: How To Find The One? 13 Tried and Tested Tips

    42. Join a virtual workout class

    Get your hearts pumping and sweat it out together with a virtual workout. Find an online workout class or video that suits your preferences. Exercise together from the comfort of your own home. It’s a great way to stay active and strengthen your bond as a couple.

    43. Build a fort at home

    Looking for cheap adventurous date ideas or dealing with mild relationship anxiety? Tap into your inner child and have a silly and fun date night by building a fort in your living room. Gather blankets, pillows, and cushions to create a cozy space where you can cuddle up together. It’s a playful way to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

    44. Try to beat a world record

    Challenge yourselves by attempting to beat a record from the Guinness Book of World Records. Pick a record that interests you both and you’ll have so much fun trying to break it. Even if you don’t succeed, the experience will be filled with laughter and unforgettable memories.

    45. Try out an unusual dish

    Embrace your adventurous side and try an unusual food item on your date night. It could be something you’ve never tasted before or even something that scares or grosses you out a bit. It’s one of those adventurous date night ideas that gets you out of your culinary comfort zone and might lead to surprising discoveries and shared laughter.

    46. Celebrate a traditional holiday in a unique way

    If you’re both rebels in your own way, you’ll like this idea. Add a twist to a traditional holiday by celebrating it in a non-traditional way. Shake things up and build lasting memories by turning the usual customs upside down.

    47. Sign up for a crazy marathon together

    Bring yourselves closer by participating in a challenging marathon. Working together, encouraging each other, and crossing the finish line as a team creates a powerful bonding experience. Customize your medals as sweet souvenirs of your achievement. These are some of the daring things to do for all the adventurous couples out there.

    48. Relax on a scenic train ride

    Experience a road trip like no other by opting for a scenic train ride. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the picturesque views as the train takes you through stunning landscapes. If you’re looking for impulsive things to do, this is a leisurely way to travel while appreciating the beauty around you.

    49. Have breakfast at home, lunch 200 miles away, and dinner abroad

    Create a memorable culinary adventure by having breakfast at home, traveling 200 miles for a unique lunch experience, and then indulging in a dinner abroad. It’s a delightful way to explore different cuisines and make your date truly special by spending an entire day together. Of course, this idea is for the rich and the privileged.

    50. Stay up all night

    Make a pact to stay awake and see where the night takes you. Embrace your creativity and find entertaining activities to keep yourselves engaged. End the date night by watching the sunrise from a rooftop or the beach for a magical conclusion.

    51. Go picking

    Enjoy the seasonal charm by going on a picking date. Whether it’s apple picking, pumpkin picking, or strawberry picking, this hobby for couples provides a fun adventure and an opportunity to gather fresh produce. Get creative in using your picked items to make delicious treats together. It’s a date idea that combines novelty and culinary exploration.

    Key Pointers

    • Trying out some adventurous date ideas from our list and playing games with your partner can help you tap into love chemicals. It will deepen your connection and create fond memories
    • For some spontaneous fun date ideas, play hide-and-seek in an unfamiliar or unexpected place, sign up for a crazy marathon together, or just explore a random point on the map
    • If you want to go on a romantic adventure and hit your fitness goals, try rock climbing, tandem bungee jumping, roller skating, ice skating, or join a virtual workout class
    • When you’re in a really daring mood and want to make your heart race, sneak into a hotel pool, enter a haunted house for a spooky adventure, or go skinny dipping with your loved one
    • For a mix of adventure and relaxation, enjoy a scenic train ride, explore the seasonal charm by going on a picking date, celebrate a traditional holiday in a unique way, or explore your own city like a tourist

    I hope you enjoyed reading this whirlwind of 51 adventurous date ideas. Trust me, they will set your hearts racing and bring you closer than ever. Pick a date idea from our list, and let the love chemicals flow. These exhilarating experiences will not only reignite the spark in your relationship but also create memories that will last a lifetime. So, grab your sweetheart’s hand and let the adventures begin.

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  • 18 Romantic Long-Distance Relationship Anniversary Celebration Ideas

    18 Romantic Long-Distance Relationship Anniversary Celebration Ideas

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    Maintaining the spark in our long-distance relationship requires spending virtual time together and making time for each other. It is crucial to recognize and cherish small moments with your LDR partner, so it goes without saying that you must celebrate your long-distance relationship anniversary.

    If you can’t be together on that important day and are wondering how to celebrate your first long-distance relationship anniversary, I am here to assist you in finding some of the greatest ways to celebrate. These wonderful suggestions will keep you connected and honor this momentous occasion in a heartfelt and romantic way, I promise.

    Celebrate Your Long-Distance Relationship Anniversary With These 18 Ideas

    The special day is coming soon, and you want to make it unforgettable. Even though you two are in a long-distance relationship, there’s something about an anniversary that makes you want to organize a fun activity, even if it’s just a cozy night in.

    I am sharing some of my all-time favorite long-distance relationship anniversary ideas with you, ranging from cozy and inexpensive to crazy and opulent. I have everything you need to organize your anniversary your way, whether you want to book that once-in-a-lifetime trip or indulge in nostalgia by looking through old photos. These virtual anniversary celebration ideas also involve meaningful presents and intimate experiences. With no further ado, let’s dig in.

    1. Create a full-fledged wine and dine experience

    Nowadays, everyone is so busy in their own world that no one notices if you’re out and about enjoying drinks alone and video-chatting with someone. There are many romantic date ideas but in my opinion, this is a great way to celebrate your LDR anniversary while your partner is away. This will make you feel closer. Plan this in advance, book a table at a good restaurant (in your own cities), and dress well to go on a date like you normally would.

    Don’t shy away from pulling your phone and earphones out. Have a great time with your partner, even when they are thousands of kilometers away. This, I personally think, is one of the best ways to celebrate your long-distance relationship anniversary.

    2. Record a creative video message

    Making a video compilation of your favorite moments of the past as a couple could help you create a genuine and tear-worthy effect on your partner. There are numerous applications and websites which are free and user-friendly. It will hardly take 30 minutes to create such a video of the images and recordings which you have with you.

    • Add music to make it wholesome, pick your special effects, and use your creative side to add your personal touch to it
    • You can write something cute for them and let them know how grateful you are for their love
    • Create paper notes/boards with messages of love, flip them toward the camera, and record
    • Learn their favorite romantic monologue and try to recreate it, or add your own twist to it

    Trust me, and this is one of the best long-distance anniversary video ideas to sweep them off their feet. You can talk about anything and everything from your first date to your first relationship milestone. I would personally suggest this as it is a good way to express your raw emotions in your own words to your lover. On the day of your anniversary, send them this video to let them know how important they are. This will make a wonderful memento for future years.

    3. Writing an old-fashioned letter is a great virtual anniversary celebration idea

    We sometimes overlook the effect that a handwritten, passionate letter may have on your partner in today’s digital age. Personal, handwritten letters where you can pour your heart out will make their whole week. I personally recommend this idea.

    The wonderful thing about letters is that they provide you with the chance to express yourself freely. You can add your unique touch to the writing, the paper, and even the art (if you want to draw something on the letter for them or add stickers). It’s an ideal gift that they will cherish for years to come.

    If it’s your anniversary, you can arrange to mail your letter(s) on the same day. Check your postal services and schedule accordingly.

    Related Reading : How To Write A Love Letter | Tips, Ideas And Examples

    4. Netflix and chill

    If you are wondering how to celebrate a long-distance relationship anniversary, watching a movie together is presumably among the most popular activities for couples. But it can take a bit of organization and creativity when you live apart.

    On the evening of your anniversary, you can schedule a Zoom party and watch romantic classics together. So get those fairy lights out, grab your warmest blanket, make some popcorn, and watch your favorites with your partner.

    Here are a few from my own go-to movie collection:

    • Dear John
    • The Notebook
    • The Other End Of The Line
    • Begin Again
    • Midnight In Paris
    • When Harry Met Sally

    The list is endless. So pick your favorite movie, light a candle, order some food, and enjoy your anniversary with your partner.

    5. Get matching ornaments for each other

    I’ve found a great solution for anyone in a long-distance relationship who wants to feel more connected to their significant other. Buy matching ornaments!

    Typically, these items are a ring or a bracelet that you may touch to remind one another of your presence and love. A simple bead bracelet or a metal ring can do it. Having something that reminds you of them, and them of you, is a beautiful feeling.

    6. Send them flowers with a love note

    Flowers express emotions in ways that we can’t always express with words – whether you give them to someone to celebrate an occasion, or to motivate them, or to show your love. Be it roses or tulips or sunflowers, whatever their favorite is, don’t hesitate to send them across and make your partner smile wide.

    So, if you are wondering what to gift for a long-distance relationship anniversary, you can send them flowers that are appropriate for the season. You can even choose according to their cultural or historical significance.

    Here is a list of a few flowers with their meanings:

    • Roses: Passion and romance
    • Tulips: Perfection and loyalty, long-lasting love, and bond
    • Peony: Beauty and elegance, love, bonding, and care
    • Hydrangea: Unity and togetherness, gratitude, and grace
    • Carnation: Affection and care

    Most flower shops and online flower delivery services may accommodate special requests to remove or include particular blooms. Don’t forget to add a special romantic note to your order.

    7. Document your favorite moments in a notebook

    With all the technology we use every day, like sending snaps of our day or voice clips over a chat, having a physical keepsake becomes special. Combining those two worlds can result in the ideal anniversary gift.

    Create a notebook where you note down small moments or thoughts when your partner crosses your mind. These books, which incorporate text messages, emails, images, and more, are one of the best gifts, in my opinion. This present has the unique advantage of being inexpensive to make and offers priceless memories for many years to come.

    Here is my personal experience. My partner and I do this little PowerPoint presentation every alternate week. It is fun! We put romantic moments and random thoughts that cross our minds about each other in this presentation. Then over our not-so-long but not-so-short weekend FaceTime, we share our screens one by one to display the presentations. It is a fun activity to do with your partner in a long-distance relationship.

    Related Reading : 21 Long-Distance Relationship Gifts For Your Partner | Updated List 2023

    8. Play online games together

    Another best virtual long-distance relationship anniversary idea for a couple who enjoys playing games together is to host a virtual game night. It’s a great way to enjoy yourself and celebrate your first long-distance relationship anniversary. Here are some of the games you can play virtually:

    • Chess
    • Trivia
    • Pictionary
    • Minecraft
    • Cards

    9. Plan an activity for your digi-date

    The name explains it all. It is easy to have a face-to-face date with your lover in a world that runs on technology. Even when they are thousands of kilometers away in a different time zone, you can schedule a hangout session and talk about things on any platform like Zoom, Skype, or WhatsApp. So, if you are looking for the zoom date ideas, I have got you. You can enjoy your time together in the following ways:

    • There are multiple food chains and quick delivery services from where you can order food for each other. Light a candle and create your perfect date atmosphere
    • You can paint something together
    • Have a karaoke night
    • You can also write each other an open letter on call

    10. Book their favorite play or movie tickets

    Let’s plan a fun and eventful day/evening together. Sending your sweetheart a ticket for a play or a movie is a really sweet gesture. Ask them casually if they are interested in watching something over the weekend, and pay attention to their choices.

    Surprise them by sending them a ticket. You can have a virtual catch-up after the event. Their happy face might bring a proud grin to yours.

    11. Send them some cake on your anniversary

    A delicious gift for a long-distance relationship anniversary. Do you and your partner both have a sweet tooth? What better occasion than your anniversary to indulge in something you both love. You can place an order for a sweet treat or customize a cake from a nearby bakery (the internet is your best friend here), and have it delivered to their residence or workplace.

    If they don’t like cake, I would suggest that you select a sweet treat from a bakery that offers distinctive and delectable baked items from various countries. It would be a novel and enjoyable experience for them, and they can eat at their convenience.

    12. Make a playlist for them

    Making a playlist for your sweetheart is a fun and easy activity that you can do together. It’s no secret that music can bring people together and evoke memories. You can each select a song that has a special meaning for you, or that really speaks to you. Make a list on Spotify, and share the link with your partner.

    If you wish to go old school, you can walk down your market area and find CDs. You can listen to the playlist they made especially for you whenever you want to feel more connected to them or when you are thinking of them throughout the day.

    Related Reading : 35 Long-Distance Relationship Activities To Bond Over

    13. Become an artist for a day

    Have you ever heard of ars longa, vita brevis which, when translated, means “Art is long, life is short.” It is a good idea to celebrate your love and take a break from your busy life to sketch together. Get your crayons, watercolors, and sketch pens out, and FaceTime your partner. This is one of the best facetime date ideas according to me not gonna lie.

    You can even play a game like ‘name it, draw it.’ You both name a certain object and paint it alternatively until you make a big picture out of it. It is fun and even helps you show off your artistic side to your partner. You can send a copy to each other later and keep it on your desk as a memory of your first long-distance anniversary.

    14. Ad astra per aspera

    There’s another ancient Latin phrase, ad astra per aspera. It means ‘to the stars through difficulties’ or ‘a rough road leads to the stars’, and I think it’s beautiful. It’s a good reminder for a couple in an LDR that faces multiple hurdles every day.

    This universe is witnessing your longing for your partner so why not stamp your love in the universe forever? Having a star named after your lover is a timeless and sentimental gift for your long-distance anniversary. Or if you don’t want to spend so much money, here’s my next idea.

    Send them a star lamp, with a heartfelt message. Even when you are unable to celebrate in person, it will glow brightly as a reminder of your anniversary and the unique connection you share – right in their room, beside them.

    15. Collage your memories

    Creating a beautiful and heartfelt photo collage is simpler than you think. You can use several pictures you have of yours and your partner’s, print them, and let your artistic side flow as you create your gift. You can frame the collage and ship it to your lover.

    It’s a terrific anniversary present that lets them know you’re thinking about them, that you value your memories together, and helps them feel your presence with them whenever they look at your homemade gift.

    16. Take a walk in the wild to celebrate your anniversary

    Do you want to spend some time in nature to celebrate your first long-distance relationship anniversary? Plan a date by pulling out your trekking gears and going on a date “together.”

    Stop somewhere and share your progress on video calls, show them the beautiful spot you just found, send pictures, and once you’ve finished your day of exploring unique locations, make a video memory of your date amid nature. In addition to providing a fun adventure on your anniversary day, this activity will also be one of the events you will remember in the long run of life.

    Walk in  the wild to celebrate your anniversary
    Walk in the wild to celebrate your anniversary

    17. A walk down your grocery shopping lane is a great idea too

    Who said that an anniversary can’t be celebrated in a simple way? In a world where people work at even 3 in the morning, a day off is hard to come by. So, text them and set a time for some essential shopping.

    Both of you can FaceTime each other while you walk down the grocery aisle and have a cute and unique anniversary celebration. You can ask each other what you should buy, plan your dinner ingredients with them, or what to get for a friend’s birthday. Knowing that your opinion is valued is a good sign of a healthy relationship.

    Don’t forget to grab some ice cream down the lane with your partner, virtually, obviously. In the same way, you can go for a walk around your block and talk to your partner for a long time. Spending quality time with each other is one of the simple yet cute ways to celebrate your long-distance relationship anniversary in my opinion.

    18. Surprise them!

    Here are a few surprise ideas to help you celebrate your long-distance relationship anniversary.

    • Send them some spa day vouchers
    • The best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach – so send them their favorite meals on your anniversary
    • Send them a gift card with a 2-day holiday package prior to your anniversary

    Plan a weekend (or longer) trip together, figure out your holidays or week-offs, and ask them theirs. Decide a common location which is feasible for both of you. Book tickets and meet there to celebrate your anniversary. Now the important thing is to make sure your tickets are refundable in case something unexpected occurs, such as illness or inescapable obligations at work.

    Key Pointers

    • Record a video message or write them an old-fashioned letter
    • Create a wine and dine experience with a virtual twist. Paint or karaoke or watch a movie together
    • Plan a trip and go with them, virtually
    • Surprise them with tickets to their favorite play or concert

    It’s challenging to settle on just one idea for your long-distance relationship anniversary celebration with so many options available. The remaining options can serve as enjoyable date night suggestions for times when you’re stumped. So don’t hesitate to celebrate your love if you are in a long-distance relationship. All the best, and get that smile you wish to see!

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  • 20 Qualities To Look For In A Husband For A Successful Marriage

    20 Qualities To Look For In A Husband For A Successful Marriage

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    What are the qualities to look for in a husband? To answer this question, a study was conducted by Richard A. Lippa. A survey was put out on BBC internet, which ultimately reached around 119,733 men and 98,462 women. The task was simple: pick the top three traits in a mate you look for. This was out of a list of 23 traits running the gamut from intelligence and industriousness to parenting abilities and attractiveness.

    The top picks for women? Humor, intelligence, honesty, kindness, and values. However, it’s worth noting that good looks, facial attractiveness, and fitness were all rather high up on the women’s list as well. Curiously, money, social status, and prosperity were all at the bottom of the list. This is why we need to dive deeper into a woman’s perspective on the qualities of a good groom. This begs the question: What are the signs of a good man to marry? We’re here to help you solve the mystery.

    20 Qualities To Look For In A Husband

    Married life is different from a relationship. Getting married to someone means waking up next to them every day, and not letting the monotony of it all diminish the conscious effort you put into it. More than that, a strong marriage is a shared journey that typically spans decades, and you share a life with your best friend, which brings challenges you can’t even imagine.

    Since you’re going to be spending a better part of your life with your husband-to-be, him having the traits of a good husband can make this journey a joyful and fulfilling one. So, here are 20 things a husband should do. These are not set in stone, but in the long run, they will be beneficial to you so you must pay attention to these admirable qualities while selecting your future husband:

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    1. The qualities to look for in a husband: Is he easy to be with?

    You may have often heard couples talk about how they just “clicked,” a phenomenon often attributed to the chemistry between two people. As aspirational as it may sound, it doesn’t necessarily have to be so in your case. In fact, you need to make sure you:

    • Are not always on your toes around him
    • Don’t go out of your way to impress him
    • Feel safe in his presence and can share secrets with him

    One of the qualities of a potential husband is that he is also your best friend. You can talk to him about anything, joke about different things, and when things get a little rough, you should be able to sail through them with relative ease. Making active efforts to not turn the little fights into daily battles is one of the qualities of a good man to marry.

    2. He is kind and compassionate

    The ‘What I want in a husband list’ was compiled by researchers at the University of Göttingen in Germany and the female health app Clue. The survey polled more than 64,000 people in 180 countries, asking them what makes a good husband — from religious or political preferences to the importance of height. Here are the survey results:

    • Almost 90% of the women ranked kindness highest among desirable qualities
    • This was followed closely by supportiveness at 86.5%
    • 72.3% women ranked intelligence as their favorite quality in a man

    So, healthy communication skills lay the foundation for a happy marriage. That’s why ‘compassion’ makes its way up here in this list of qualities to look for in a husband. Realizing that you have your needs as a separate human being and practicing kindness toward your needs are the most important qualities of a good husband and father.

    Men of good character care about the well being of strangers, children, the elderly, and animals. A man that treats you right but disrespects a waiter in a restaurant or kicks a street dog is not husband material. If he feeds the stray animals, donates to charity, or is generally kind toward the people around him, you have hit the jackpot in the ‘best husband’ department.

    Related Reading: 6 Reasons Why You Should Go With Gut Feel While Choosing Your Partner

    3. If you believe in monogamy, he must too

    Of course, that’s not to say that monogamy is the only way forward. Monogamy is one of the qualities to look for in a husband for people who value the construct themselves. However, if you’re a polyamorous person or practice relationships in any other way, you might be looking for something different. Marital satisfaction fully depends on wanting the same things.

    If he believes in monogamy like you, there is an assortment of activities that you can do to keep the boredom at bay. Before marrying your man, have a long, detailed conversation with him about his views on:

    • Monogamy
    • Polyamory
    • Infidelity

    A shocking research points out that couples lie to each other three times a week. Of course, this includes big ones like cheating but also seemingly harmless white lies such as “I will surely come home on time today”. So, if you’re a single woman looking for the perfect partner, know that dishonesty and lack of self control are ultimate deal breakers.

    4. He has a good sense of humor

    In a study conducted with 3,000 married couples from five countries, both husbands and wives were found to be happier with a humorous partner. This trait was reported to be more important for the marital satisfaction of the wives than the husbands. The research says “spouses may also take humorousness as a sign of motivation to be amusing, kind, understanding, and dependable — as a sign of commitment”.

    A good sense of humor can make your marital journey breezy

    While looking for good qualities in a spouse, you also need to make sure his dry sense of humor is bang on. Sexist, racist, derogatory jokes are funny to no one. Block that man out of your life if you find him making jokes like:

    • My wife belongs to the kitchen”
    • “My wife and her friends are always gossiping”
    • Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake their entire marriage”

    5. Every day is new learning from him

    One of the best qualities to look for in a man is the emotional maturity to learn something from every opportunity. Chances are that you and your future husband work in different places, or you have different skillsets altogether. Your marriage can get very boring if you’re not able to share these skillsets with each other. That’s why a willingness to learn from you and an ability to inspire are the characteristics of a husband that you should look for.

    Your man might know how to make delicious hummus, or he may be well-versed with current affairs. Whatever the expertise be, you both should be able to share it with each other and enjoy the process. The ability to have political debates with him or argue with him about the ideal amount of sugar in a cup of tea is how you can communicate effectively in your long-term relationship.

    Related Reading: 10 Must-Follow Healthy Relationship Boundaries

    6. He makes you a better person

    “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist. If your relationship allows you to grow as a person and doesn’t stun your progress, you’ve set the foundation for a healthy relationship.

    What should a husband do for his wife? Become an ally in her personal development. You might know the person you are going to marry very well, but does he make you want to be a better person? Trust us, people do become better after falling in love! It is very important to tie a lifelong knot with a man who brings out the best in you by:

    • Encouraging you to push your limits
    • Respecting your gut feeling instead of making decisions for you
    • Honoring your space/alone time

    7. He does not restrict you or your relationship

    You don’t need a self-serving partner who gives you a hard time when you assert your independence. Yes, a lot of men tend to be very restrictive toward their wives. Years of patriarchal conditioning make them blind to certain problematic behavior patterns, such as always demanding to know:

    • Where you are
    • Who you are with
    • What you can or cannot wear

    In the 21st century, the 20 qualities of a good man include this ability to treat you as an equal and a partner in true earnest, and not as someone he needs to protect or save from the world. Women need not be told what to do and what not to do. What makes a good husband is him encouraging you to try new things instead of restricting you to a cage.

    A successful relationship is all about trust. Knowing that you’re safe should be enough for him. He should not be confining you from doing anything. If you’re trying to figure out what to look for in a husband, find someone who trusts in you enough to let you make your own decisions and isn’t regressive enough to micro-manage your life. You’re an equal, not his pawn.

    8. He is ready to compromise when need be

    Yes, you’ll live a happy life with pleasant memories. But you’ll also have disagreements. It is impossible that the two of you will be on the same page throughout the day. You might also get into arguments because of the different opinions. Arguments are normal, and in some sense, even necessary. However, things will begin to go downhill if he always expects you to compromise.

    Being convinced that he does no wrong is definitely not among the good qualities in a boyfriend. A healthy relationship calls for both parties to compromise at some point. So, here are the traits of a good husband:

    • Open-mindedness and willingness to take the high road
    • Emotional maturity and good communication for healthy conflict resolution
    • Ability to have meaningful conversations when you’re feeling low

    Certified relationship coach Shivangi Anil emphasizes, “To spot signs of inequality, we need to pay attention to where the decision-making power lies. And by decision, I don’t mean financial or big decisions alone. Decisions about where you stay, what you eat, and whom you both interact with as a couple.

    “Inequality harbors an unequal power dynamic wherein the person in a more powerful position can impose their needs and demands on the other person. In extreme cases, a skewed power dynamic can also pave the way for abuse and violence.”

    9. He is good in bed

    There have been innumerable cases where women find their husbands to be very loving, caring, and understanding. However, they are still not completely happy in their marriage because their husbands are unable to satisfy them in bed. When considering things to look for in a husband, your sexual compatibility as a couple must definitely be factored in. On that note, here are the qualities to look for in a man:

    • He’s sensitive and accepting of your sexual desires and needs
    • He pushes your boundaries of pleasure
    • You can talk to him about what you’re comfortable with, and what makes you happy

    Don’t take this one lightly, it’s one of the most important qualities of a good groom. Studies actually suggest that women cheat in relationships to supplement it, not to end them. Studies also indicate that 80% of women fake their orgasms during sex.

    10. He shares the same values as you do

    Having a difference in opinion is one thing, but if your to-be partner doesn’t share the same values as you do, chances are your marriage will turn into a battlefield. Patty and Jake had been together for over two years, and even though Jake hadn’t popped the question yet, the signs he wanted to marry her were all there. On a Friday night date, Patty broached the topic of future kids, which oddly they’d never discussed during their entire relationship.

    As it turned out, Jake wanted a big family whereas Patty leaned in favor of a child-free lifestyle. This difference of opinion ultimately drove them apart. That’s why discussing values is important when assessing future husband qualities. In case your partner has a difference in values, you need to make sure he at least respects where you stand.

    So, if you’re introspecting on qualities of a potential husband, the coherence of core values is an important thing in real life. Starting from compatibility of family members, these values can include:

    • Religious/spiritual beliefs
    • Stance on joint family (living with in-laws or separately)
    • Lifestyle choices (drinking/smoking/smoking up)

    11. He looks forward to doing new things with you

    You cannot expect your husband to surprise you with new activities every day, but he should be excited to try new things with you. How to be a good husband? Be adventurous. It could be as small as trying out the new restaurant that serves Chinese food, or as big as going paragliding.

    Your significant other should look forward to experimenting and exploring new experiences with you. That’s why a zest for life is among the qualities to look for in a husband. Without it, the monotony of married life can quickly take its toll. If you were wondering how to describe the best husband, “Someone who you can explore the world with” is a good place to start.

    12. You can communicate with him about everything

    qualities to look for in a husband
    Talking to him should be effortless

    You may be upset with your partner, yet you know that you can talk to him about what is bothering you. So, great communication and receptiveness are the qualities of a good partner in a marriage. If your man is the right guy, you will be able to talk to him about difficult issues and not be afraid of his reaction. He will listen to you and address your problems instead of declaring your argument invalid.

    Hence, good listening skills is one of the non-negotiable qualities of a good husband. One study conducted by Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond”. Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others. While people may think they might be listening to understand, what they’re really doing is waiting to respond.

    13. He appreciates your good qualities and accepts the bad ones

    Every single person has flaws. Nobody is absolutely perfect. You just need to look for the right person who can live with your flaws without complaining. An ideal husband would appreciate you for all your good qualities, but will also accept your bad ones. So, he’s definitely husband material if he doesn’t:

    • Berate you when you make mistakes
    • Belittle you every time you’re a bit anxious
    • Ask you to change who you are at your core

    What qualities should husband have? Patience and tolerance. He won’t love you less because you don’t keep your cupboard clean or because you are always late, but he would help you to be a better version of yourself for your own benefit. So, if you’re evaluating whether yours is a strong relationship or not, it is, if you’re feeling appreciated.

    14. He does not always need to “win”

    Not only one of the qualities to look for in a husband but in every relationship that thrives on love. There is no denying the fact that arguments and miscommunication are inevitable. A mature couple has the ability to fix the problems and sort them out instead of:

    An emotionally mature/responsible husband would be willing to clear out the problem and not continue the argument just to win it by any means. On the other hand, a narcissist would only try to bring you down by discouraging you, blaming you and deeming you incapable. You do not want that kind of negativity/bad vibe in your marriage. Hence, the characteristics of a husband should include problem solving skills, instead of the urge to win.

    15. He is supportive of your passions

    He is supportive of your passions
    He cheers you on to pursue your dreams

    What are the qualities of a good man to marry? You need someone who supports the decisions you make and stands by you. Though this may seem like a given, unfortunately, despite the progressive times we live in, a lot of men still expect their wives to play second fiddle in the marriage. For instance, in many marriages, one of the ideal wife qualities is to give up career after the baby if the circumstances demand. However, this does not necessarily work in the modern era.

    Your potential husband needs to be curious about your passions and do everything in his capability to help you pursue those passions. Find a man who raises you up in your field of passion instead of bringing you down. One of the admirable future husband qualities is that he becomes your biggest cheerleader and pushes you to pursue your dreams and goals.

    Related Reading: 10 Ways to Build Your Relation After Getting Engaged and Before Marriage

    16. Traits to look for in a husband: He treats your family right

    A wonderful marriage is not just the union of two people but also of two families. Your partner may have no problems showing affection toward you, but if he doesn’t treat your family the way they deserve to be treated, he is not the right one for you. It’s one of the traits to look for in a husband that most people don’t pay much attention to, which eventually leads to regret later on.

    Behaving sweetly in front of your family, but avoiding spending time with them during festivals, calling them names, arguing with them and just generally disrespecting them at every opportunity is one sign of an immature, hostile man. A responsible husband would not only you but your family too.

    17. He is not entirely dependent on you

    After marriage, spouses start depending on each other for a lot of things. That’s just the natural order of things. However, there is a difference between an interdependent and a codependent relationship. While the former is healthy, the latter is a hallmark of toxicity. It goes without saying that you need a spouse who doesn’t lean on you to an extent that your identity is reduced to being his perpetual caretaker.

    You need to look for a husband who can survive without you being around 24/7. He should be able to manage chores by himself, instead of being a lazy husband. He should be able to:

    • Cook meals when you’re busy
    • Pack his bags for a work trip
    • Take care of the kids while you’re gone

    18. He encourages you to have a life outside your relationship

    future husband qualities
    He gives you space to be your own person

    You are a separate human being, which means you will have different friends/passions/activities to do. An ideal husband would understand that your life does not always revolve around your marriage. Talking about healthy space in a relationship, psychologist Jaseena Backer says, “This space should be comfortable enough for the partners and not big enough for the entry of a third party.” 

    Space in a relationship is not an ominous sign, and a good husband is able to recognize that. What qualities should a husband have? The ability to recognize that you’re an independent person with your own needs, likes, and dislikes should definitely make the cut. So, the duties of a good husband are to encourage you to:

    • Take up new activities
    • Hang out with your friends
    • Spend some time with yourself
    • Try new things without him

    19. He allows himself to be vulnerable with you

    Relationship expert Ridhi Golechha says, “Men and women deal with pain differently. Men end up suppressing their emotional pain, which makes it more intense. They put on a fake mask of courage and are not able to receive the empathy that somebody who shows vulnerability is able to receive. Also, men use other channels to direct their pain (like anger, revenge, aggression, or physical abuse).”

    This brings us to the characteristics of a family man i.e. the ability to cry/express they’re in pain. Married men often struggle with emotional intimacy. On that note, marry him if he:

    • Takes steps to open up to you
    • Doesn’t need to prove how strong/macho he is
    • Spends quality time, wherein he shows his vulnerable side

    20. He is looking forward to starting a life with you

    Being a husband is not everyone’s cup of tea. So, if he is not really willing to get married and is only doing it out of family pressure, your relationship might rock the boat on rocky waters. A man who genuinely wants to get married will know it from the very beginning.

    He might take it slow, but he will gradually make it very obvious. If he asks you to wait while he reaches a certain position in a career or earns a certain amount of money, he will still maintain a level of commitment nonetheless. This desire to see you with him in the future without having you to guess or wonder about where your relationship is headed is a beautiful quality that you can find in your husband-to-be.

    What Makes An Ideal Husband?

    While we’ve listed out what to look for in a husband, the answer to this question is solely yours to answer. Are you looking for someone who loves to live the high life, or are you the kind who just wants to snuggle in with their partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon?

    The qualities that make him marriage material depend on what you’re looking for, but don’t let the mutual attraction you feel make you forget about the absolute fundamentals you need, which are mutual respect, support, unwavering trust, open communication, and of course, love.

    From all the qualities to look for in a future husband, the most important ones are the ones that matter most to you, without disregarding the fundamentals, of course. Make sure you’re with someone who you truly respect, since a growing lack of respect is usually the culprit behind a marriage’s undoing.

    Before you tie the knot with someone, a great way of assessing how good you two will be together is by having a conversation about your expectations and what you want from the future. Do you share the same values when it comes to family? Religion? What your parenting styles are going to be? How you’re going to handle finances?

    Key Pointers

    • Your life satisfaction will heavily depend on your choice of partner
    • Choose a man who supports your personal growth
    • A good man is honest/has self control
    • A happy wife has a partner who treats her like an equal
    • Go for an emotionally mature and vulnerable guy

    A marriage, at the end of the day, is a lot more than loving each other. When you vow to spend a lifetime with a person, you’ll need more than just love to be able to navigate the murky waters you will inevitably come across. When you’ve ticked off most of the qualities to look for in a husband and know that your partner is going to be supportive of you throughout the years, the murky waters get a lot easier to paddle through.

    Finally, choose a man is open to growing and learning. If he is a man who takes therapy, it’s a sign that he wants to re-invent himself and unlearn his childhood trauma. Seeking professional help can also help you resolve past relationship baggage and become a more emotionally available partner. If you are looking for support, our counselors from Bonobology’s panel are just a click away.

    FAQs

    1. How to be a better husband emotionally?

    A husband takes care of his wife but also respects her individuality. Moreover, he listens to her and respects her passions. She definitely doesn’t need a husband who makes everything about himself. Another tip on how to be a good husband is to be the guy her friends love.

    2. Do women prefer older men?

    Psychologists call it the George Clooney Effect. A 2010 study of 3,770 heterosexual adults suggested that women often prefer older men. It was also observed that women with greater financial independence were more inclined to date an older man. Psychiatrist Dr. Shefali Batra says, “Be it psycho-dynamically, emotionally, psychologically, women grow up faster compared to their male counterparts. Hence, women connect better, mentally and emotionally, with men who are older than them. Having reached the peak of their career, older men are more relaxed about their professional goals and are able to give more time to their women.”

    3. Is it a good idea to marry your best friend?

    Yes. A study was conducted on 801 adults across the United States on the question: “Do you consider your partner to be your best friend or do you call somebody else your best friend?” Among adults in a romantic relationship, the vast majority (83%) considered their current partner to be their best friend. Among those who were married, the rate was even higher.

    4. Do women prefer taller men?

    When it comes to good looks, research shows that women overwhelmingly prefer men who are taller than them. In fact, according to a 2012 study from the Netherlands, women are more satisfied with a man who is roughly 21 cm taller than her. Another study points out that the height of the partner is more important to females than to males. Researchers ultimately concluded that women want a man who is tall simply because they feel more protected. One female in the study cited not wanting to look down into a man’s eyes, the ability to wear high heels and still be shorter than her date, and wanting to reach up to hug her date among her reasons for preferring taller men.

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  • 8 Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Ignoring You

    8 Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Ignoring You

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    You have landed on this page because you are in a position where you can’t stop saying, ‘My girlfriend is ignoring me’. Your relationship is on the edge now and you absolutely do not know what to do next. When your girlfriend is ignoring you and you are not sure why, it can be difficult to gauge her emotions and understand what to do next.

    Your girlfriend, who would first get excited to see you or even your text for that matter, is now finding reasons to ignore you as if you are some stranger stalking her.She also gets angry and frustrated easily and you feel that she is just finding reasons to stay away from you or bail on meeting you. As annoying as this may be, there is no need to fret. If you want her to stop ignoring you and get to the bottom of the issue, you have come to the right place today.

    Can A Girl Love You And Still Ignore You?

    Many women and even men, tend to appear distant and aloof in relationships sometimes. And even though it feels like like a big problem or even a sign of emotional cheating, it does not quite have to be. A girl can be madly in love with you but still not be able to give you the attention you want.

    It’s possible that she is upset or disappointed in you, as you are not behaving in a way that she wants. It’s passive aggressive behavior on her part, and does not necessarily mean that she has started talking to a new guy. Perhaps she is unhappy with your actions or is feeling unsure about the relationship and this commitment. Either way, she’s dealing with something on her mind which is why she is unable to give you the affection she used to.

    Why Is My Girlfriend Ignoring Me All Of A Sudden?

    When your girlfriend ignores you and does not act normal, the ‘why’ of it is a question that can baffle the best of minds. Things can get pretty confusing when she acts this way, but finding the reason behind her cold shoulder might give you the clarity you need and take away the anxiety around it.

    Is your partner stonewalling you or giving you the silent treatment? The possible reasons behind it are quite straightforward in nature. So instead of getting angry at her and starting a fight, let’s get to the bottom of the issue. Here are some grounds for when your girlfriend ignores you.

    1. She’s got a lot on her plate

    When your girlfriend does not respond to your text, don’t jump the gun and assume it’s because she hates you and has fallen in love with someone else. Maybe your girl’s just a busy bee and simply caught up with work or her annoying boss. It’s possible that your relationship has taken a backseat because of her hectic schedule.

    A reader from Omaha confirmed this when he wrote to us, “She was constantly on the phone, and that sort of weirded me out. I (wrongly) thought my girlfriend forgets about me and talks to other guys instead. But a straightforward conversation about it cleared things up nicely. It was just a barrage of work problems.” I guess one can say that dating a workaholic ain’t a piece of cake!

    2. When your girlfriend seems uninterested, it could be because things have gotten boring

    One of the top reasons for when your girlfriend ignores you incessantly, is boredom in the relationship. Things get stale after a while when the honeymoon phase wears off and your committed relationship starts feeling like a lot of work. Both partners stop putting in efforts to sustain the romance.

    She might not even be ignoring you per se; perhaps she’s sick of the dreary routine you both have fallen into. It’s not that she doesn’t love you, she’s just not loving this routine.

    3. You’re the culprit

    ‘If your girlfriend is ignoring you what does it mean?’, you ask? In this regard, do think about what and if you could have possibly done something wrong. If you haven’t been a good boyfriend lately, then this is the obvious reason behind her cold vibes. Were you insensitive to her needs? Did you forget something important to her? Have you said something hurtful during an argument?

    Related Reading: 6 Steps To Take If You Are Feeling Trapped In A Relationship

    4. One reason she’s ignoring you is because she needs some me-time

    And that’s natural! Space in a relationship is incredibly important. She’s not trying to shun you, she just can’t help herself because she needs a little more time away from you. At this point, you should try to give her some time and try not to feel uncomfortable by her behavior. Women tend to go into their shell when things get too difficult.

    A relationship can be quite demanding, and many a time, people just aren’t in the right space to give what it takes. Your girlfriend probably needs to be by herself and recalibrate things. A little time with her thoughts is what she’s probably asking for; as a side-effect, you’re thinking, ‘my girlfriend ignores me and talks to other guys.’ Just give her space, and she will come right back to you.

    5. She is no longer interested in you

    This possibility might seem extreme, but you should consider it nevertheless. When your girlfriend is ignoring you, it can be one of the signs your partner is losing interest in the relationship. There could be a number of factors behind this: she’s found someone better, you both have grown apart, there’s no intimacy between you two, etc. She’s stopped putting in the effort because she sees the impending end clearly. Maybe she’s waiting for the right time to break the news to you.

    She may have lost interest in the relationship

    6. She feels misunderstood by you

    For all you know, your girlfriend might be acting this way because she feels disregarded by you in the first place. Maybe she shared her dreams of a new project with you, a vacation she is saving up for or a major life decision that she wants to take. It is possible that you unintentionally dismissed her, which is making her feel misunderstood.

    Is she trying to get a new job that you haven’t taken much interest in? Or has she recently taken up a new hobby that you casually made fun of? When your girlfriend ignores you, it is because she’s cross with you for not taking the time to be invested in her.

    7. You are slacking off in the relationship

    Remember when you two used to go to the movies every Friday? Or that you two had signed up for a baking class several months ago? Is it possible that you were spending more quality time with your girlfriend earlier than you are now?

    One of the top reasons she is not giving you time, is because she is disappointed in how things are going with you. She loves you dearly, but is sad at how complacent you have become. Your date nights are now just Netflix and pizza which makes her feel like you are not putting effort into the relationship.

    8 Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Ignoring You

    Probably all was well and good a few days or weeks ago. Then, she suddenly started ignoring you and you are battling mixed feelings about what is going on. ‘My girlfriend is ignoring me after our last date’, or ‘my girlfriend ignores me every time i try to talk to her’ are concerns that are constantly abuzz in your mind.

    If these are the thoughts that you are having right now, we have the answers to your questions. If she is genuinely interested in you, then don’t worry because she will come right back. Don’t feel insecure and instead do these things to get things back on track:

    1. When your girlfriend might be ignoring you, back off for some time

    You think, ‘what to do when my girlfriend neglects me,’ and you believe that she might be having second thoughts about your relationship. But for all you know, there’s another stressor in her life maker her feel this way. It could be work, her family or just a fight with her best friend. Her frustration shows that something is bothering her and she doesn’t want you to be a part of that right now. You have to draw the line between love and privacy in a relationship.

    To ensure that you don’t spend your time obsessing over why she needs to be away from you, you must keep yourself productively engaged. Use this time to pursue your hobbies and passions. For instance, if you like fishing, this would be a great time to get yourself new fishing gear and try it out.

    Likewise, if you enjoy being in nature, order yourself a camping rig and spend some time in the woods. Cycling, music, reading, gardening, adventure sports…do whatever gives you a sense of fulfillment. And for the time being, leave her alone.

    Related Reading: How To Deal With Being Ignored By Someone You Love?

    2. Don’t do the same thing and make things worse

    When your girlfriend does not respond to your text, don’t try to do the same to her when she actually does try to get back in touch with you.

    If you start ignoring her because she is ignoring you, it will just drive her even farther from you. Don’t get angry at her and start seeing other women to make her feel worse. Being mature is very important in a relationship, especially when you are navigating a rough patch. Following your girlfriend’s footsteps can be quite destructive in this case. Resist the urge to get back at her. Instead, give her more attention if she asks for it.

    3. Perhaps, you are thinking too much about it

    For all you know, there may not be that many reasons behind why your girlfriend may be aloof. So a quick tip is, that you perhaps stop overthinking it and try to see things at face value.

    Sometimes we think too much about things that might not be that big a deal. What appears to be her ignoring you, could just be her focussing her energies on a work project, reconnecting with friends or she is just having a busy month taking care of her mother. What may appear to be mixed signals, might just be her being overwhelmed.

    She might have always been the same but either you are noticing it now or wanting more than usual. Maybe you’re being a needy boyfriend and she doesn’t know how to handle this side of you as she feels overwhelmed.

    my girlfriend ignores me
    Being ignored by your girlfriend can get challenging for sure

    4. What to do when your girlfriend disregards you for days? Be kind to her

    Even though it feels like your girlfriend is being brutal to you by pulling away so much, try to love her despite it all. Let her know that you love her and that you are willing to make this relationship work no matter what. If she’s going through a rough patch, you need to be all the more kinder to her.

    At this point in time, she doesn’t need more confrontations and fights but just some time away perhaps. She needs someone who will take care of her and be there for her as a friend first. In this case, you need to be good to her instead of picking a fight. Make her favorite meal, take her out for a long drive on days she is stressed or just be around her when she is working too hard on late nights, to make her feel less alone. It will help her reconnect with you when she sees how caring you truly are.

    For more expert-backed insights, subscribe to our YouTube channel.

    5. What to do if my girlfriend is ignoring me? Assure her you are and will be there for her

    Even though she may be ignoring you right now, her love for you has not waned. Not only in your actions, but you should also verbally reassure your girlfriend that you love her. It will help bring back her confidence in you and she will open up to you sooner. She needs to know that you are there for her no matter what.

    When your girlfriend neglects you when you two are in a long-distance relationship, then you might blame it for making you both so distant. In such a scenario, go over to her and talk to her instead of playing any silly blame games. Find out what’s wrong and be there for her both physically and emotionally. Knowing that you’ve got her back will make her feel secure in the relationship. It’s always nice to have someone you can fall back on.

    Related Reading: How To Know Your Girlfriend Is Still Not Over Her Ex

    6. Find out if she is depressed or having a rough time

    One of the reasons behind her weird behavior around you could be because your girlfriend might be depressed. Has she not been sleeping lately? Does she appear more tired than usual? Has she stopped ordering her favorite chili lime salad from the Asian place near her house?

    According to the National Sleep Foundation, people with insomnia are 10 times more likely to have depression than those without the condition. When your girlfriend stops talking to you after a fight, don’t just ignore her and wait for her to make it up to you. Do check on her and her mental well-being.

    If she is showing signs of depression, you need to take steps to get her help. Many relationships suffer because of one partner’s mental health problems. Seeking professional help can get you through this difficult time together. At Bonobology, we have a range of counselors and therapists who can support you. Healing is just a click away.

    7. Get her talking again when something is wrong

    “My girlfriend is ignoring me for a week.” “My girlfriend is ignoring me after a fight.”

    If it’s been over a week after a fight and you two have not spoken, then we understand your stress in figuring out what to do next. As annoyed as you may feel, it is important to keep all channels of communication open. Have a serious discussion with her about what’s going on.

    If she does not want to talk about anything serious, then just talk normally. Ask her a simple question like how her dog is doing, if she needs more eggs or other groceries. Tell her about your day or a new movie that you watched. Make the first move, if she is not doing so.

    girlfriend stories on Bonobology

    8. Do not neglect yourself when your girlfriend is ignoring you

    “My gf ignoring me was so harrowing, that I started drinking and partying too much to distract myself from it. Eventually, I got so sick that I had to skip a week of work,” said Josh, a reader from Louisiana. In the midst of navigating the reasons behind your girlfriend acting up, it is easy to lose your own self respect and routine in the process.

    You need to save your relationship, but before that, you need to save yourself first. Think about yourself too and your needs. Not taking care of yourself will make you a mess and you’ll just become more clingy and desperate, not the person she fell in love with.

    Use this time to invest in your physical and emotional well-being. You could start by eating healthy and committing to a new workout regime.

    At the same time, pay attention to your mental health. Listening to a meditation tape for a few minutes a day, or working with a meditation guru one-on-one, can really help calm your mind. Don’t dwell on thoughts of her and just give her some time. Don’t let her mixed signals get to you so much.

    Key Pointers

    • If she is driving you away, it does not mean that she loves you. Maybe a boredom has crept into the relationship or she has other stressors on her mind
    • Don’t dismiss her or give her the silent treatment if she ignores you. Give her the same love and kindness
    • Do not always hover around her and give her some time and space to figure herself out

    A sudden change in behavior from the one you love can indeed feel devastating. But the best action in this case is to stay composed and kind, no matter what. Don’t lash out or give her an ultimatum, as it will only drive her further away. Stand your ground and be ready to support her. If it is true love, she will come back. But if she does not realize your worth and chooses to neglect you, well then perhaps this relationship was bound to end. Now you know what to do.

    This article was updated in July 2023.

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  • Supporting Our Heroes: The Importance of Mental Health Counseling for Veterans

    Supporting Our Heroes: The Importance of Mental Health Counseling for Veterans

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    Veterans are true heroes who have selflessly served their country, often enduring immense physical and psychological challenges in the process. While they may return home as proud individuals, their experiences can leave lasting impacts on their mental health. Counseling plays a crucial role in supporting veterans, providing them with guidance and assistance to navigate the unique challenges they face. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of mental health counseling for veterans and the ways it can contribute to their overall well-being.

    Addressing the Complexities of Military Service:

    The military environment is unlike any other, and the experiences encountered during service can have profound effects on a veteran’s mental health.  Mental health counseling offers a safe space for veterans to discuss their military experiences, enabling them to process traumatic events, adjust to civilian life, and manage the emotional toll of combat exposure. By providing a compassionate and understanding ear, mental health counselors can help veterans navigate the complexities of their military service and how it impacts them today.

    Overcoming Psychological Trauma:

    Many veterans struggle with psychological trauma, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), resulting from their exposure to combat or other traumatic events. Mental health counseling offers evidence-based therapies, including Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Prolonged Exposure (PE), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), to help veterans heal from trauma. These interventions assist in managing intrusive memories, reducing anxiety, and fostering healthy coping mechanisms.

    Supporting Transition and Adjustment:

    Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging for veterans. Mental health counseling provides crucial support during this phase, helping veterans navigate the unique stressors they encounter. Counselors can address issues related to employment, relationships, family dynamics, and reintegration into society. They assist veterans in developing coping strategies, building resilience, and fostering a sense of purpose beyond their military service.

    Suicide Prevention and Awareness:

    Tragically, veterans are at a higher risk of suicide than the general population. Mental health counseling plays a pivotal role in suicide prevention by offering a compassionate and non-judgmental environment for veterans to express their thoughts and emotions. Counselors can provide essential resources, teach coping strategies, and help veterans build a support network to reduce the risk of suicide and improve overall mental health.

    Mental health counseling is an invaluable resource for veterans struggling with the aftermath of their military service. By offering a safe and supportive environment, mental health professionals can address the unique challenges faced by veterans, helping them heal from trauma, navigate transitions, and build fulfilling lives. As a society, we must prioritize and invest in accessible mental health services to ensure that our heroes receive the care they deserve and find the path to recovery and resilience. 

    Greg Myer, Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Marine Corps Veteran

    Hi, I’m Greg, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and military veteran that utilizes a strengths based and trauma informed approach to help clients achieve their goals and overcome barriers. I use mindfulness techniques and help clients explore realistic solutions to manage and cope with current and past trauma, stress, anxiety, and grief. Clients should learn from the first session that they can make positive changes in their life or circumstances if they choose to do so, and I can help them to find realistic and meaningful tools to accomplish their goals.

    For more information about Greg, visit: https://caringtherapistsofbroward.com/staff/gregory-myer/

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  • 9 Expert Tips For Improving Your Odds Of Finding Love After 40

    9 Expert Tips For Improving Your Odds Of Finding Love After 40

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    As humans, our hearts are wired to seek the warmth of another’s embrace, for love is the invisible thread that connects us all and weaves the tapestry of our existence. Age makes no difference to this inherent need. For many individuals, whether they have been single or trying dating at 40 after divorce, the idea of finding love may seem daunting or even impossible because society is so wired to the idea of young love. But the wonderful truth is, the odds of finding love after 40 are high, and the experience can be incredibly fulfilling and rewarding.

    “After years of being alone, I never thought I’d find true love again even when I always knew I needed love in my life. But I met the love of my life 3 years ago while waiting in line at the coffee shop. Our eyes met, and my heart skipped a beat. That chance encounter led to a beautiful romance that proved to me that love knows no age. I live a happy life now,” says Adam, a tech lead, on his chances of finding love at 45 with a 40 years old woman and never married.

    To understand this beautiful ballad of finding and celebrating love in the later stages of life, in this article, Anushtha Mishra (MSc. Counseling Psychology) with a specialization in trauma, relationships, depression, anxiety, grief, and loneliness, sheds light on the statistics of finding love in one’s 40s, misconceptions surrounding it, along with practical tips to maximize your chances of falling in love after 40. By the end of this, you might have the answer to your question, “Is 40 too old to find love?”

    Statistically, What Are The Odds Of Finding Love After 40?

    Let’s delve a little into the statistics of singlehood after 40 before we dive into the numbers of finding love after 40. A Pew research study reveals that 27% of people aged 50 to 64 and 21% of men over 65 are unattached. But wait, there’s more: a whopping 49% of women over 65 are flying solo. These numbers are evidence enough to break the stigma of singlehood and embrace the possibility of finding love late in life. 

    Interestingly, a 2013 national sample of older adults (ages 57 to 85) conducted by Brown & Shinohara found that around 14% of unmarried older adults were in romantic relationships. Men were more likely than women to be in the dating pool, and these couples reported better health, more assets, and greater social connectedness. These findings are significant because they highlight that finding love after 40 is not only possible but can also lead to a happier and healthier life.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

    5 Common Misconceptions About Finding Love And Dating In Your 40s

    Society’s narrative of love is unidimensional with its obsession with young romance characterized by hot passion. After a certain age, the meaning of love we seek in a new relationship changes. When dating at 40 after divorce or dating for the first time after 40, you start to prefer pleasant love instead of a passionate romance, a love that is deep and quiet. It is not to say that the passion fades away completely, it just isn’t the only priority anymore for a committed relationship. There are many misconceptions floating around when it comes to the odds of finding love after 40. Well, bad news for them because we are busting those myths. This has been long overdue. These will help you get over your “I’ll never find love again” apprehension.

    1. All the good ones are taken

    It’s easy to be swayed by the misconception that all the good ones are already taken, so you’ll have to settle for whomever you can find in your 40s. It makes you start wondering, “Is it too late to find love at 40?” However, this is far from the truth. Just because your past life experience has been rough, doesn’t mean you won’t find love and stability in the future or have difficulty dating.

    The dating rules after 40 can be overwhelming, but it’s also essential, at the same time, to be true to what you want and deserve in a life partner, no matter what the rules. High standards are a good thing. It is just a game of patience and taking time to get to know your potential partners who have the qualities you are looking for.

    2. Your baggage will scare potential partners away

    When you are a man dating in your 40s or a woman dating a 40-year-old bachelor, you may believe that your emotional baggage will shoo your potential partners away and you might not find your true love ever. But hear me out, everyone has some sort of baggage. Being open and honest about your experiences will only make you more attractive. Remind yourself that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It deepens connections in a relationship.

    Embrace the whole story, quirks, and imperfections included. Share your journey as well so that they can see the authentic you. This will help you in finding love after divorce at 40. Or if you’ve been single all along as well.

    Related Reading: How To Rebuild Life After Divorce: Handling Kids, Money, Dating, And Self-Love

    3. It’s too hard to date at this age

    Even the idea of getting back on the dating scene after your 40s can be intimidating, especially when you’re a 40 years old woman and never married or a man in his 40s who is a divorcee. But don’t let fear clip your wings. Thanks to modern online dating apps and tools, the process of exploring romantic partners has become smoother than ever. From swiping to texting them, the dating scene has evolved to suit every age group.

    In fact, the abundance of dating options in your 40s can be incredibly liberating and can teach you how to date someone when you are older. You can take the time to explore what you’re truly looking for in a life partner and enjoy the process of getting to know someone new. So don’t let the misconception that dating in your 40s is too hard discourage you – embrace the new tools and possibilities available to you, and start your journey to find the love and companionship you deserve.

    4. It’s only to fulfill your physical needs

    One of the biggest and most common misconceptions about meeting someone in your 40s is that it’s only to fulfill physical desires. This is not true. While physical intimacy is definitely an important aspect of any relationship, it’s not the only thing that drives an intimate connection between two people. In fact, according to research, many people in their 40s look for deeper, more meaningful connections that go beyond physical attraction.

    In this stage of life, people have had time to explore their desires and are mainly looking for someone who can meet their emotional and intellectual needs. So don’t let this myth hold you back, open yourself to the possibilities that dating has to offer and grab your chances of finding love after 40.

    5. It’s too late to find love

    We feel like we missed the love boat when we pass our 40s. But it isn’t too late to set sail and look out for love and go out on your first date. Many people find that their 40s are the prime time for romance since they’re comfortable in their skin and know exactly what they’re looking for in a partner.

    Don’t let this false belief make you feel like giving up on love at 40. Whether you are looking for a companion to share life with or a soulmate you want to grow old with, the possibilities are endless. So go ahead and hoist up that anchor.

    Everyone, including you, deserves to find someone who makes your heart skip a beat and who brings out the best in you. The only requirement is that you keep an open mind and trust that you are going to be finding the right one

    Related Reading: Love Vs In Love – What’s The Difference?

    9 Expert Tips For Improving Your Odds Of Finding Love After 40

    So, do you feel like falling in love after 40 is impossible? Well, think again. Contrary to all the misconceptions, finding love can be the most rewarding experience of your life. Let’s explore some of the best tips to improve the odds of finding love after 40 and building a fulfilling relationship.

    9 Expert Tips For Improving Your Odds Of Finding Love After 40

    1. Focus on building your self-confidence

    The key to meeting someone in your 40s isn’t just about going on endless dates, it’s about building a strong sense of self that makes you irresistible and will help you find the right woman or man for yourself. One of the best ways to improve your odds of finding love after 40 is by focusing on building your self-confidence. This will make it easier to form meaningful connections that can eventually lead to long-lasting love.

    Start by,

    • Focusing on your strengths and accomplishments
    • Take pride in who you are
    • Give a little self-love

    2. Try online dating

    A good piece of advice for single ladies and men over 40 would be to try online dating. Online dating services are an awesome option for meeting new people. With a plethora of dating sites and apps available, you can easily find a platform that suits your needs and increases your chances of finding love after 40. The online dating scene is not only convenient, but it also helps you connect with people outside of your limited social group and expand your horizons.

    However, do remember to stay safe and cautious when meeting someone in person for the first time after connecting with them on online dating websites or matchmaking services. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a leap of faith and give online dating a try – you never know, you just might find someone and finally get over the thought loop of, “Why is finding love so hard?” At the same time, it’s vital to protect oneself from the dangers of online dating.

    3. Take care of your physical and mental health

    Physical health has a substantial impact on your overall well-being, including your love life. To feel energized and confident, which can eventually attract potential partners, you need to eat a balanced diet, exercise often, get enough sleep, and take care of your mental health. Don’t underestimate the power of self-love and self-awareness when it comes to finding love after 40.

    Besides, taking care of your physical health not only makes you feel better from the inside but also helps you shine from the outside helping you attract people as well. A healthy lifestyle can do wonders for you and give you a better chance of finding your true love. So, be mindful and take care of yourself, mentally and physically.

    Related Reading: The Different Types Of Attraction And How To Recognize Them

    4. Attend social events and meetups

    It’s natural to feel tired of swiping left and right on dating apps and not finding any meaningful connection. So, you need to mix it up a little and not rely solely on online dating to find a mate. Go out and attend social events or meetups in your area. It can be a hobby group, a charity event, or a networking function. These gatherings can be the perfect opportunity to expand your social circle and meet new people.

    Not only will this help you meet potential romantic partners and have successful relationships, but you may also find new friends, like-minded individuals, and a support system along the way. Plus, attending these events shows that you are open to new experiences and are willing to put yourself out there, which is an attractive quality for many people.

    5. Be open to new experiences

    When it comes to your life after 40, good dating advice is to break out of your routine and meet new people and spend quality time with them. Being open to new experiences can broaden your horizons and increase your odds of finding love after 40.

    Remind yourself to not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. You might surprise yourself with what you discover and who you meet along the way. After all, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that life begins at 40, why not make the most of it?

    6. Don’t settle for less than you deserve

    Love is a wonderful feeling, and everyone deserves to find the kind of love that sets their soul free. Don’t let the fear of being alone make you settle for a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. Remember that you choose your relationships, and settling for less than you deserve is a choice you don’t need to make. It’s important to trust your intuition and not compromise on your non-negotiables.

    Wait for the right person, even if it’s challenging because it’s worth it and it makes sense. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love, appreciation, and respect. Keep your standards high, and have self-respect; that’s a good thing. True love will come along, bringing happy beginnings. Therefore, your answer to, “Should I date someone I don’t find attractive or compatible?”, needs to be a big NO.

    more on finding love again

    7. Be honest and authentic

    Being genuine and honest is essential when looking for love, at any age. Being true to yourself is more essential than trying to fit into what you believe a possible romantic partner wants. You’re more likely to attract someone who is compatible with you if you are honest and authentic about who you are.

    What does practicing this look like?

    • Being upfront about your goals, values, and priorities
    • Communicating your needs and wants, along with the dealbreakers
    • Having a better sense of what you want
    • Setting your boundaries

    By doing this, you will be able to build a strong foundation for a fulfilling relationship where you will be loved for who you truly are. This will also help you ensure personal growth and will help attract people.

    8. Focus on quality over quantity

    Improving the odds of dating after 40 is not about casting a wide net and seeing what sticks. Rather, it is essential to focus on quality over quantity. Take the time to know your potential partner, who shares your interests and long-term goals. It’s, of course, understandable that you get caught up in the excitement of a new connection and the game of swiping from one particular profile to someone else’s.

    However, it’s important to remember that a successful relationship requires more than just initial attraction. Take your time and don’t settle. It’s not about finding just anyone, it’s about finding the right person who shares similar passions and brings out the best in you. Someone who makes your heart sing.

    Related Reading: 10 Signs From The Universe That Love Is Coming Your Way

    9. Keep a positive outlook

    Looking for love and new relationships can be a rollercoaster ride, but it’s essential to keep a positive attitude throughout the process. Negativity can quickly take over and affect your mood, which can impact how others perceive you. Some of it is natural, but it’s even more important to remind ourselves to look for love with enthusiasm and optimism.

    Finding love takes time, can be frustrating, and make you feel like giving up on love at 40 and not dealing with bumps or setbacks. It might even make you wonder, “What if one does not find love in life?” When this happens, try focusing on the bigger picture and keep moving forward with hope.

    Key Pointers

    • Finding love after 40 is not only possible but can also lead to a happier and healthier life
    • Some of the misconceptions about finding the right person after 40 are that it’s too late, the relationships are centered on physical needs, everyone is already taken, and that the emotional baggage will let you down
    • To increase your odds of finding love after 40, try online dating, work on your physical and mental health, be open to new experiences, and have a positive outlook
    • Try focusing on the bigger picture and keep moving forward with hope and a right mindset

    “Love doesn’t make sense! You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do,” says Ted Mosby on How I Met Your Mother. A series known to explore the theme of love beyond age.

    Is 40 too old to find love? Well, just because you are older doesn’t mean you should limit your options to increase your odds of finding love after 40. The world is full of opportunities to love and be loved. So, go out and grab them with your hands stretched wide enough to catch them all.

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  • How To Start Conversation With A Girl On Text? And What To Text?

    How To Start Conversation With A Girl On Text? And What To Text?

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    Communication is an art that needs to be mastered especially when you are texting a girl. We all know how difficult it is to start a conversation with a girl you like. You want to get to know more about her. At the same time, you don’t want to seem too desperate or breezy as she will start losing interest in you.

    When you start a conversation with a girl on text message, you begin with the usual small talk, discussing each other’s likes and dislikes to find out what you both have in common. But what happens when the small talk ends? You run out of good conversation topics for texting a girl and don’t know what to do next. Fret not, for we’re here to tell you unique ways to start a conversation with a girl. Prepare to say goodbye to your days of being left on read.

    How To Start A Conversation With A Girl On Text?

    Now that you have the tips to start a conversation with a girl on text, let’s talk about actually starting the conversation. It’s one thing to know the best lines to start a conversation with a girl over text, and quite another to hold her interest and keep the back-and-forth of text notifications going.

    If you want to woo a girl online before you take things forward with her IRL, this back-and-forth is the key. It indicates that she is interested in what you have to say and wants to keep talking to you. That will only happen if you’re saying the right things at the right time. To get there and turn around your texting game, pay attention to these pro tips on how to start a conversation with a girl on text:

    Related Reading: 13 Signs A Girl Likes You But Is Playing Hard To Get

    1. Think about who she is

    The nature, tone, and timing of your text messages should depend on who she is to you. Are you trying to start a conversation with a girl who likes you? Is she a coworker you have a crush on? A friend you have developed feelings for? Or a complete stranger whose DMs you’re sliding into? Your equation with her – or lack thereof – determines which unique way to start a conversation with a girl you should choose. 

    2. Don’t lead with just ‘hi’

    Whether you want to start a conversation with a girl you don’t know or learn what to text your girlfriend to start a conversation, a plain ‘hi’ won’t get you far. If she doesn’t know you, you’ll most probably be consigned to the seen zone. And if she is your crush or girlfriend, she will feel underwhelmed by the approach. Instead, you can ask her about her day, or compliment her on something she did when the two of you were together. 

    3. Ask open-ended questions

    When learning how to start a conversion with a girl on text, the idea is to draw her into the conversation, and open-ended questions are your best ally in achieving that goal. After you start a conversation with a girl, the key to keeping it going is making it about her. Not only will this make her see that you’re invested in getting to know her better but also draw her out to talk to you more proactively. It will enable you to lead the conversation somewhere and come across as a person she looks forward to talking to. Remember, nobody likes a dry texter. 

    4. Keep your messages brief

    Whether you want to start a conversation with a girl who likes you already or someone you’re trying to woo, don’t go into overdrive. No one wants to read a mini-essay on text, no matter how skillfully you word it or how earnestly you put forth your feelings. The best lines to start a conversation with a girl over text are the ones that are succinct, to the point, and leave her wanting more.

    5. Don’t inundate her with messages

    How to start a conversation with a girl on text? The answer to that question also lies in how not to text a girl. If she hasn’t responded to your previous message, hold your horses. Don’t inundate her with messages. It’s desperate and no one likes to deal with that. 

    6. Learn to take a hint

    When you start a conversation with a girl on text whom you don’t know keep a note of the timing. If the conversation is starting to feel forced and dragged out, say goodbye on some pretext. Then, wait a couple of days AT LEAST before you touch base again. It keeps the curiosity alive and saves you from an awkward ending. This way, you will leave her wanting more of the conversation because it ended on a happy note. 

    22 Things To Text A Girl To Start A Conversation

    When you like a girl a lot, you want to make her laugh and want her to remember you even when you both are not texting. You want the conversation to be memorable and want to stand out from the others. To be able to do that, you need to know unique ways to start a conversation with a girl

    Don’t worry, we know just the right things to start a conversation with a girl on text so that the next time you ask yourself, “How do I keep a girl interested while texting?”, you know exactly what to do. Use these 22 messages to start a conversation with a girl and watch her swoon over your communication skills!

    1. Hey, busy bee!

    If you are wondering what to text a girl to start a conversation, the simplest thing would be to drop a message that just reminds her of you, with an emoji or two. Sometimes she needs to be reminded that you exist and are waiting for her reply, especially if you are texting each other after a long time. Such a message will remind her that you are waiting for her reply and will make her focus on you more. She will feel good that you’ve been thinking about her. 

    Keep your opening text to a girl simple yet interesting

    2. How was your day?

    Looking to brighten up her evening? Start a conversation by asking about her day and sharing highlights from yours. Engage her further by asking intriguing questions to keep her interested. Note that this approach works well for established connections, but be cautious when initiating a conversation with someone you don’t know to avoid coming across as creepy.

    Related Reading: How To Seduce A Married Woman With Text Messages?

    3. Hey, stop thinking about me!

    If you are looking for a flirty text to start a conversation with a girl, go for this one. This is a good way to start a conversation by bringing a bit of humor into it. It will make her smile and she will see you as a guy who knows how to make people laugh. It is a smart and cheeky line that will bring a smile to her face and you can continue the conversation from there.

    4. This video cracked me up. I think you should watch it

    Videotext a girl to start a conversation but do ensure it is pure fun and not offensive in any way. When the conversation dies or is about to die, you can share a meme or a funny video to refresh things. This will prevent the conversation from getting dull and you’ll be able to talk about something again. It can be a great way to start a conversation with a girl on text and also learn more about her. However, steer clear of sexist jokes, explicit content, or images.

    5. Ignoring me already?

    Reignite a conversation that fizzled out due to busy schedules by addressing the issue directly. Start with a message acknowledging the lack of contact, giving the opportunity to apologize, and picking up where you left off. This approach works well for reconnecting with someone you previously chatted with or as a fresh start to engage a girl you don’t know well yet.

    6. What’s your idea for a Friday night?

    Fridays are the beginning of the weekend and what you do on a Friday night tells a lot about your personality. If she is a party person then it means that she is an extrovert and a social animal and if she prefers staying at home and indulging in some binge-watching, it means that she prefers her own space. Moreover, it’s a great conversation starter!

    7. What kind of music do you like? Any recommendations?

    When compliments run dry, initiate an engaging conversation by discussing music preferences. It’s an ideal approach to connect and share recommendations, allowing for playlist exchanges over platforms like Spotify or Amazon Music. This strategy fosters deeper involvement in each other’s lives, especially during the early stages of a relationship.

    8. Are you mom’s favorite or dad’s?

    Thinking about what to text your girlfriend to start a conversation that includes her family? This is a sensitive topic and will get her to talk more about her personal life. You can begin by asking about who she thinks pampers her the most and go toward talking about her favorite childhood memories. She will be pleased to see that you’re so interested in her life.

    best lines to start a conversation with a girl over text

    9. If you could have one superpower, what would want it to be?

    Everyone dreams of what it would be like if they were a superhero and she will have something in mind too. It will also get you both to use your imaginative skills and talk about the things you both would do if you had the superpower. She will also like it that you’re not the typical guy who is just restricted to hobbies

    10. If you were asked to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?

    At first, she might feel like you are taking an interview of some sort but the trick here is to give funny answers when she asks you the same question. If you’re wondering what to text a girl to start a conversation that makes her smile, this is one you can count on. Your funny replies will make her laugh. Undoubtedly, this is one of the best ice-breaker questions for dating.

    11. What is your favorite combination when it comes to food?

    Food is not just the key to a man’s heart. It is also the key to a good conversation. You can count on such light-hearted and quirky questions to start a conversation with a girl on text whom you don’t know. Since you’re practically strangers,  she may not be comfortable sharing personal details with you. That’s why such conversation starters are the perfect alternative to keep her hooked.

    12. What did you want to become when you were a kid?

    Wondering what to text your girlfriend to start a conversation? This is it! You both can delve deep into nostalgia with this question. There would be so many memories and backstories attached to this question. This is a great conversation starter and can go a long way. She will become more open to you and will start sharing more

    13. Which series are you binge-watching?

    If you want to start a conversation with a girl on text and keep it casual, talking about TV and web series choices is a safe territory that will also help you assess how similar or different your interests are. Besides, there’s so much to talk about when it comes to talking about TV shows and web series. If you haven’t seen the one she is currently watching, then you can ask her more about it and also share the kind of series you like to watch. All in all, this one is a winner among the best lines to start a conversation with a girl over text.

    14. What is the craziest thing you’ve done?

    What to text a girl to start a conversation so that she just wouldn’t be able to resist replying? It’s time to once again delve deep into nostalgia and talk about the crazy things that you both have done. She will share some crazy experiences of hers and you both will get to know each other more. This is one of the best messages to start a conversation with a girl in text because it’ll instantly help you see her adventurous side without coming off as too intrusive.

    Related Reading: 15 Funny Ways To Annoy Your Girlfriend

    15. Would you eat in a restaurant that is dirty but serves amazing food or vice versa?

    If you are a foodie and think about fulfilling your foodie dream with a girl, then this question would be important to you. Knowing how important food is to her will help to ascertain whether she is the one. If she has the same thoughts about food as you do, then you’ll have so much more to talk about and this conversation would not end.

    16. Which was the funniest meme you saw last?

    Looking to start a conversation with your girlfriend? Dive into the world of memes! Discuss your favorite funny memes and even engage in a meme war, responding to each other with hilarious memes. This approach creates a fun and relaxed atmosphere, allowing for easy and uninhibited conversation. Take it a step further by sharing trending memes to keep the laughter going.

    17. Hey! How was the movie last night?

    If it’s been some hours since you both have spoken to each other, you can start a conversation by asking her about something that she has done recently, like a recent movie she has watched. Asking her what the movie was about and how she liked it is a good conversation starter. You can compliment her about her movie choices and include some subtle flirting by asking her if you can join her for a movie next time. One of the best lines to start a conversation with a girl that has the potential to get you the first date. 

    18. Just finished watching a series. Any recommendations?

    One of the best ways to start a conversation with a girl on text is to ask for her opinion to showcase that you value her. And the easiest topic is asking about recommendations for a series. This is a bankable topic to start a conversation with a girl on text when you’re not ready to talk about more serious or intimate things. Who knows, it may lead you to Netflix and chill together.

    19. Which is your favorite foreign country?

    Initiate an engaging conversation with your girlfriend by discussing her travel plans and dream destinations. This topic not only shows your interest in her adventures but also presents an opportunity to suggest planning a trip together, further strengthening your bond and creating unforgettable memories.

    Related Reading: When Should A Man Text After His First Date?

    20. This made me think of you 

    How to start a conversation with a girl on text? Let her know you think about her even when you are not talking. This is one of the best lines to start a conversation with a girl you have been talking to for a while because it will make her feel seen. This is also a great line for when you want to ask her out on a date and make her say yes because, after this text, she will already be swooning over you! 

    21. How’s work treating you?

    Work-life sucks for some and some people actually love their job. You can go about asking her how her job is and how she feels about it. If she hates her job then bickering about your jobs can be a good way to start a conversation with a girl on text. If she sees this as an opportunity to vent, be receptive and listen patiently. Hearing her out will make her see you as someone she can turn to when she needs someone to talk to.

    22. Tell me something you haven’t told anyone yet

    This could be a secret that could be weird, kinky, funny, or maybe embarrassing. Whatever it is, it is a good conversation starter as it gets her thinking and sharing stuff that she hasn’t shared with anyone else before. If she shares it with you then it means that she’s including you in her inner circle.

    23. Hey, what’s the most interesting skill or hobby you’ve always wanted to learn but haven’t gotten around to yet?

    Spark a captivating conversation by asking a girl about the skill or hobby she’s always wanted to learn but hasn’t tried yet. Show genuine interest in her passions and aspirations, fostering a deeper connection and inspiring personal growth. Discover shared interests and create a meaningful connection through shared goals and aspirations.

    24. I’m in the mood for some deep conversation. Is there any topic you’ve been wanting to explore or discuss lately?

    Initiating a deep conversation by asking a girl about the topics she’s been wanting to explore or discuss lately can lead to a meaningful and engaging dialogue. It shows your interest in her thoughts, ideas, and intellectual pursuits, fostering a deeper connection and understanding. This text demonstrates your willingness to engage in thought-provoking conversations, allowing both of you to share perspectives and insights, and potentially strengthening your bond.

    25. If you had the chance to witness any historical event, which one would it be and why?

    Asking a girl about the historical event she would choose to witness opens the door to intriguing discussions. It encourages her to share her interests, knowledge, and perspectives on significant moments in history. This question can spark engaging conversations, providing insights into her curiosity, values, and passions, and fostering a deeper connection through shared interests in history and storytelling.

    Key Pointers

    • Start with a lighthearted joke or funny meme to break the ice and make her laugh
    • Ask about her day or share an interesting observation to show genuine interest in her life and thoughts
    • Discuss common interests or hobbies to find shared ground and potential conversation topics
    • Bring up travel plans, bucket-list destinations, or favorite places to explore her sense of adventure and future possibilities together
    • Engage in deep conversations by asking thought-provoking questions about her aspirations, opinions, or meaningful experiences

    Now starting a conversation with a girl doesn’t seem an ordeal anymore. The above texts are simple yet effective and will help you stand out from the rest of the crowd. She won’t think you to be the typical guy and she’ll soon include you in her inner circle. Moreover, you’ll get to know so much more about her personality. You won’t have to think twice before texting a girl anymore.

    This article was updated in July,23

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  • How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You – 11 Tried And Tested Tips

    How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You – 11 Tried And Tested Tips

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    In the relationship game of thrones, there is nothing worse than being dumped, and the thought of how to make your ex regret leaving you remains foremost in your mind. And who can blame you for these feelings? Maybe, ethically, revenge isn’t right but it is completely natural to think of ways to make your ex regret leaving you, given your intense emotional investment in the relationship. 

    In a survey conducted by a dating website, where 1,400 men participated, 76.5% of men admitted to regret dumping their partner within 60 days post-breakup and 73% admitted they will go back to their ex if given a chance. So, yes, breakup regret is common and your ex could be made to regret breaking up with you. But take care of your dignity, don’t get hurt again, and don’t do something that drives them further away from you.  

    How to Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You – 11 Tried And Tested Tips

    Is this a ‘win ex back’ plan, or just a way to make your ex regret losing you? Be very clear about your objective. Are you sure you are willing to accept them if they come back begging or crawling? Or do you just want a kick out of watching them feel like a fool for letting a person like you go? Recognizing the intensity of your own emotions and the lengths to which you are willing to go is important. 

    Remember that you can make your ex regret hurting you and want you back only when you are in an empowered state. So make yourself the focus even if your target is your former partner. Here are some great methods toward that end.

    1. Get over the emotional lows 

    The first step is to ensure that you are emotionally stable. Of course, it is never easy to get over a meaningful relationship. But if your ultimate goal is to see that your ex regrets breaking up with you and wants you back, you have to remain strong. 

    • Give yourself enough time to mourn because when you are taking the next steps, you need to be in your best shape, physically and emotionally 
    • Seek therapy and the help of friends and close family members if needed
    • Make sure that you are over the worst phase of the breakup and can think with clarity  
    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our Youtube Channel.

    2. How to make your ex regret leaving you – Get out of sight for a while 

    In the initial aftermath of being dumped, it’s best to keep a low profile. Don’t ever disappear completely (read the remaining points to know why) but create a mystery around you while you grieve over them. 

    For instance, if you want to make your ex-girlfriend regret leaving you or your ex-boyfriend repent his actions, make yourself invisible for a bit and increase their natural curiosity. Do this while you are working on yourself and getting a transformation that, when revealed, will blow their mind and make your ex regret losing you. It may even prompt an effort to patch up.  

    Related Reading: How To Break Up With Someone Long Distance

    3. Hit social media with a vengeance 

    This is your time to up your social media game. Unfortunately, social media is all about perception and to win the perception war, you need to be active on your socials. Essentially, use Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook to document the great life you lead.

    • Post pictures of yourself with your friends having a gala time
    • Pose in your new outfits and write engaging and happy captions without referencing your breakup
    • Pique their curiosity by giving just enough details about your activities. Make them want more information

    4. Never contact your ex 

    One sureshot way to make your ex regret losing you is by ensuring they feel your absence. You will never make your ex-boyfriend regret leaving you for someone else if he does not miss you. Same with an ex-girlfriend. Establish a no-contact rule and give them the chance to feel your absence by not engaging with them in any form. Keep them guessing, let them wonder how you are coping. Do not unfollow or block them – that would be detrimental to the plan!  

    Continue to remain MIA in their life but remain somewhere on their radar. So, make yourself overtly visible to common friends and people in your network and go about your life as if nothing has gone wrong, while remaining unavailable for a chat or meetup. 

    5. Get a revenge body or a makeover 

    A ‘revenge body’ is one of the most effective ways to get over an ex. Hit the gym with a vengeance and look hotter and sexier than ever before. Focus on your positive side. Surprise your ex with your smarter and sassier physical appearance so that they know what they’re missing out on. 

    • Get a new wardrobe, invest in a good salon, wear brighter colors
    • How to get revenge on your ex? Work toward being in your best shape – it also boosts your self-confidence 
    • Give yourself a goal on how you want to look. Perhaps your ex liked short hair, so now is your chance to chop your locks and get some bangs – only if you like them too, of course 

    6. Never badmouth them 

    This is one of the surprising ways to make your ex regret leaving you. This is a valuable lesson: Control the temptation to badmouth or speak ill of your ex even if they have walked all over your vulnerable heart. Instead of constantly worrying about how to make your ex regret leaving you, plan to hit back in a way that gets the world on your side.

    Outsiders need not know what went wrong between the two of you. Keeping your silence is a great way to win sympathy from common friends. Even if you are dating someone new, do not offer any explanation. Also, if you’re a guy, your value as a decent and dignified man, who does not speak ill of women, will go up.

    7. Keep calm when you see them 

    In this battle, perception is reality. So you have to maintain the façade of being unaffected even if your pillows are soaked with tears every morning with memories of the times you spent with your love and the pain of being dumped for someone else. 

    • Keep calm if you bump into each other at a social gathering 
    • Don’t appear agitated or too happy when you see them. Instead, give them the cold shoulder
    • Let them know you are over them (even if you are not) and keep your head held high

    8. Hint that there is someone else in your life 

    We are not suggesting you jump into the dating ring on the rebound, but a bit of casual dating with a lot of self-awareness is one of the more effective ways to make your ex regret losing you. 

    For instance, try going out on a date with someone who has had an eye on you for a while. Post a picture on social media in a way you are sure your ex will see it. Reality will hit them hard on seeing someone else enjoy your company, and there is every chance they might question the decision to leave you for someone else. 

    Related Reading: Expert Lists 10 Signs Of Intimacy In A Relationship

    9. Focus on career success 

    Often, love can take over your life and your ambitions about career and financial goals might go off-track. If you have compromised your professional life for your relationship, now is the time to focus single-mindedly on rising in your career. 

    Professional success adds oodles of confidence, which is always a great quality that attracts new love into your life and makes an old flame rethink the breakup. It will be even more impactful if your ex left you for someone else who may not be as successful as you are.

    10. Lead the happy single life 

    Sure, you may be missing the good times you had with your former partner but let’s admit it, there were also the bad times – the fights, the stress, the jealousies. Now that they are out of your life, you can fully focus on becoming the best version of yourself. 

    • Go ahead, do all those things alone that you missed doing while you were in a relationship 
    • Travel alone, meet new people, join a fun class, and give your personality a new dimension
    • Expand your social circle. It will make your ex see how joyful you are without them

    11. Maintain good relations with their friends or family 

    This is a tough act. Often, when a couple breaks up, so does their circle of friends as most people find it difficult to choose between the two of you. Just make sure that you do not lose touch with people close to your ex like colleagues or family. 

    To know how to make your ex regret leaving you, you need to remember that there are people on your side who will carry information about your happy life back to your former flame. Being on good terms with their friends and family is one of the tips on how to make your ex regret leaving you.  

    How Do You Know If Your Ex Regrets Leaving You?

    In 2015, a large study of adults of all ages, including gay men and women, involved 5,705 participants in 96 countries. There was a marked difference among genders in terms of the healing process and long-term impact. Women, though affected more in the short term, tended to reflect and move on eventually. Men tended to remain much more regretful and often mentioned a past partner as the best they ever had.

    Breakup regret is clearly common. But while you may work hard on getting your love back into your life or at least making sure that they regret leaving you for someone else, there is something you should never do – go after them if they are not interested. 

    If, after all of the above efforts, your ex gives no indication that she or he regrets losing you, it is time to well and truly move on. However, if you play your cards right, there is a huge chance that you may win your ex back. But how do you tell? Here are 5 signs that your ex regrets hurting you: 

    1. They engage with you on social media 

    If your ex still has positive feelings toward you, then they would not unfriend or unfollow you. If your ex has even a remote interest in getting back together with you, then they would try to convey the message, subtly, through their social media activity. Liking or commenting or sharing your post is their way of saying “no hard feelings.”

    2. They will attempt to stay in touch 

    You will be on their radar or they will ensure they are on yours. Be it casually bumping into you while you are happily hanging out with your pals or sending you inspirational words of encouragement messages or festival greetings (ostensibly as forwards), they will not completely cut off ties with you. It may not be because they regret breaking up with you and want you back but it could be the first step toward reconciliation. 

    3. They will enquire about you 

    If not directly, at least indirectly, they will want to know what’s happening in your life. More so, if you have followed the above-mentioned steps and piqued their curiosity about your sassier, more confident and successful self. If they have been making inquiries discreetly through common friends, understand that your ex regrets breaking up with you and they may be open to giving it another shot. 

    Related Reading: How Guys Text When They Like You – We Give You 15 Clues

    4. They share past memories with you

    If you are on talking terms with your ex, they may talk about the past or randomly share a Facebook memory of the two of you from two years ago. It’s definitely a huge sign that your ex regrets losing you and is pining over you. 

    5. They try to make you jealous 

    Let’s say you have been casually dating someone after your breakup and make no bones about your new liaison. If your ex has some feelings for you, they will seethe in jealousy. A study conducted on 509 women and 338 men, published in Frontiers of Psychology, suggests that single people reported higher levels of jealousy with their previous partners than people in relationships reported with their current partners.

    A breakup is tough to handle and the temptation to get back with the one you lost is often intense. However, while it is not impossible to win back your lost love, make sure that you are not the second choice for anyone. 

    Key Pointers

    • It is natural to want your ex regret leaving you for someone else, but act responsibly and don’t get hurt again
    • Getting a makeover, staying on their radar without contacting them, developing new skills, and boosting your self-confidence are sureshot ways to attract their attention and have them question their decision to leave you
    • Do not cut off ties with them as it makes you seem childish and immature. It’ll also make them wonder how you’re coping so well
    • Keep track of their social media engagement with you or their conversations with common friends – this may give you an indicator that your ex regrets leaving you

    Dating on the rebound, going too far to seek your ex’s attention, and taking measures that make you seem desperate should be avoided. Ultimately, you deserve the best relationship and a sincere partner. So, don’t let ego be the reason when you chalk up a plan on how to make your ex regret leaving you.  

    FAQs

    1. Can an ex regret leaving you?

    Certainly. An ex can regret leaving you especially if their current relationship is not going well. When they see that the person they left behind is successful, smart, and happy, they may develop deep regrets about leaving them.

    2. What makes an ex regret losing you?

    Problems in their new relationships, guilt about dumping their former partner, and watching their ex be successful, charming, happy, and confidence are some of the factors that make an ex regret losing their love. 

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  • Top 5 First Date Turnoffs (this week :) | Concha Date

    Top 5 First Date Turnoffs (this week 🙂 | Concha Date

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    First dates can be exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. While it’s natural to want to make a good impression, there are certain behaviors that can quickly turn a promising date into a disappointing one. Drawing from my own personal experiences, I’ve compiled a list of the top five turn-offs to avoid on a first date. Let’s dive in and learn from my mistakes, ensuring a smoother and more enjoyable dating experience!

    1. Constant Phone Distractions: There’s nothing more off-putting than when someone you’re on a date with is constantly glued to their phone. It sends the message that they are disinterested and not fully present. In one memorable date, I found myself engrossed in a fascinating story, only to be interrupted multiple times by my date’s incessant phone notifications. It made me feel unimportant and led to a lack of connection. Remember, giving your full attention to your date is a sign of respect and genuine interest.
    2. Oversharing Personal Problems: While it’s important to be open and honest, oversharing personal problems too early in a relationship can be overwhelming. On one particular date, my partner delved into deep emotional struggles and unresolved issues right off the bat. While I appreciated their vulnerability, it created an atmosphere of unease and heaviness. Remember, a first date is an opportunity to get to know each other on a lighter note. Save the deeper conversations for when you’ve built a stronger foundation of trust and understanding.
    3. Being Rude to Waitstaff: How someone treats others, especially those in the service industry, speaks volumes about their character. During a dinner date, my partner’s condescending and dismissive attitude towards the waitstaff left me feeling uncomfortable. Witnessing such behavior made me question their empathy and respect for others. Remember, kindness and respect are fundamental values, and treating everyone with courtesy will leave a lasting positive impression.
    4. Neglecting Personal Hygiene: Maintaining personal hygiene is crucial when meeting someone new, and overlooking it can be a major turn-off. On a coffee date, my partner arrived looking disheveled, with unkempt hair and an unpleasant odor. It made me question their self-care habits and overall consideration for our meeting. Remember, taking the time to look and feel your best shows that you value both yourself and your date.
    5. Dominating the Conversation: A balanced conversation is essential for a successful first date. It’s crucial to listen actively and allow your partner to express themselves. During one particular outing, my date monopolized the conversation, rarely pausing to inquire about my interests or thoughts. It left me feeling unheard and unimportant. Remember, the key to a great conversation is a healthy back-and-forth exchange, showing genuine interest in your date’s perspective.

    Conclusion: By learning from my personal experiences, we can navigate the world of first dates with more finesse. Avoiding constant phone distractions, oversharing personal problems, being rude to waitstaff, neglecting personal hygiene, and dominating the conversation are vital to making a positive impression. Remember, first dates are an opportunity to connect and create a foundation for potential relationships. By practicing respect, attentiveness, and self-care, we can increase the chances of a successful and enjoyable dating experience.

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    Ronnie Giandzi

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  • In the Love Bubble? Mistakes to Avoid

    In the Love Bubble? Mistakes to Avoid

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    And do bubble burst? Of course! Now, that is not saying you can’t stay happily or madly in love and this person becomes your best friend and partner. These bubbles generally occur in the first 1-3 months of a new relationship.

    But here’s the mistakes to avoid along way:

    1. Introducing them to everyone in the first month or two
    It might be your children, your parents, a college or family reunion. It’s too soon. And how about a broad-based introduction on Facebook or other social media announcing you are in a relationship? Uh-Uh.

    2. Forgetting your friends
    Remember just a month ago you had weekly girlfriend lunches? Monthly book clubs? Now, I’m not picking on anyone here, but this tends to be more of a female theme when starting a new relationship—and I’m not into gender stereotypes, but is he giving up his weekly tennis, golf, basketball games to spend 100% of his time with you?

    3. You’re not an executive recruiter
    Where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years? Pointed questions are apropos for a headhunter but not for you in the first month or two of dating. (We know what you are really asking: Do you see you with me? It reeks of desperation).

    4. It’s not about getting there
    …. it’s about the journey, just like in life. Ok, let’s use a real journey. You’ve planned a trip to Istanbul. You bought business class tickets on Turkish Air. You get to go in their famed airport lounge full of treat and delights. You shop at the Grand Bazaar. You have a drink at the Four Seasons which was a prison for centuries. You have luscious spa treatments at the hammam. So, what the best part? All of it, including the journey. Just like dating, it’s not the destination but the entire process of getting there, getting to know someone, over time.

    5. Honesty in the bedroom
    Intimacy is a big part of love. Maybe your past relationships lacked in this department. Be communicative from the very beginning—what you enjoy, what you’d like to try. When you are ready. But don’t bring past baggage into the bedroom—this is a fresh start with a partner who may be long-term for you!

    6. Settling because you don’t want to be alone
    Trust me, you’ll be even lonelier. That also does not mean a long rigid list, but it must be someone that you share common values, communicate well with and can compromise on a daily basis.

    7. Giving them a key
    …. too soon. What’s too soon? Probably a few weeks. After that, it different for each couple. Just based on what I’ve heard and observed over 25 years as a dating coach, it’s usually around the 3–6-month mark.

    So, if you need relationship or dating coaching, call me. It’s what I do. It’s what I love. Helping people. Being an objective person to bounce ideas off. Last night, a client called that I hadn’t heard from in a year (I knew he was in a serious relationship). He’d scheduled the call last week with me and I was totally curious what he wanted to talk about.

    Yes, he’s still in a serious happy relationship, but just like anyone else, occasionally you disagree. So, what we discussed was nothing I’d ever discussed before—but he left the call happy, as did I. Sometimes an outsider without a vested interest is exactly what you need!

    Keep smiling—it just takes one.

    With love,

    Andrea McGinty
    Helping you date efficiently and effectively


    Https://www.33000dates.com
    702-494-7344

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    Andrea McGinty

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  • FDA Makes History by Approving First Over-the-Counter Birth Control

    FDA Makes History by Approving First Over-the-Counter Birth Control

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    The Food and Drug Administration made history today when it approved Opill, a progestin-only birth control pill, for over-the-counter use. When Opill becomes available in pharmacies in early 2024, it will be the first nonprescription daily birth control pill in the United States.

    Opill’s OTC approval is a major victory for advocates and researchers who have pushed for this change for decades. It also catches the United States up to most of the rest of the world, where contraceptive pills have long been more accessible. Experts agree: It’s about time.

    There’s no question that the FDA’s approval of the first birth control pill 63 years ago changed the course of many of our lives. But for too many people—especially low-income people, people of color, and young people—a full range of contraceptive options remains out of reach.

    The FDA’s approval of OTC Opill is an important step forward in access, at a time when the conservative movement is ratcheting up its attacks on birth control. It’s also a major milestone in the long history of contraceptive innovation. What step forward might we see next?

    Ancient history
    For as long as there have been humans, there has been birth control. People in ancient societies—from Crete to Egypt to China—used condoms made from materials like linen and silk.

    People in New Guinea even developed a female condom. Around the world, people always knew that certain plants could be used for contraception or abortion.

    Mid-1800s
    The modern contraceptive era begins with the invention of rubber condoms and diaphragms. Sponges also become a popular method of contraception.

    1873
    Congress passes the Comstock Act, which bans the mailing of “obscene” material, including devices and information related to birth control. Activists work around the law by sneaking contraceptives into shipping containers with other products, among other risky maneuvers.

    1920s
    Two gynecologists, Kyusaku Ogino and Hermann Knaus, figure out that ovulation happens roughly in the middle of the menstrual cycle and introduce cycle tracking, or the “rhythm method,” as a form of contraception.

    1930s
    Animal experiments find that high doses of the hormone progesterone stop ovulation.

    Late 1940s to ’50s
    Chemist Carl Djerassi, known as the “father of the pill,” figures out how to make synthetic progesterone. Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger closely follows these scientific developments and personally funds birth control pill research led by biologist Gregory Pincus.

    1953
    Sanger’s friend Katharine Dexter McCormick—one of the first female graduates of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and heir to a massive fortune—begins funding birth control pill research. Over the next few years, she gives around $2 million to the cause.

    1954
    Catholic gynecologist John Rock, also a friend of Sanger’s, conducts the first human birth control pill trials on 50 patients in Boston.

    1956
    Federal and state Comstock laws make conducting larger trials in the mainland U.S. too difficult, so Rock and Pincus take their research to Puerto Rico. Their experimental pill contains far higher hormone dose than today’s pills, which means more risks and side effects.

    Though the Puerto Rico trials confirm that the pill works, Rock and Pincus dismiss local doctors’ concerns about side effects. Over 200 women are involved in these trials, and are not made aware of all the potential risks. One woman dies. Similar trials are conducted in Mexico and Haiti.

    1960
    The FDA approves Enovid, the first oral contraceptive pill.

    1962
    In Griswold v. Connecticut, the Supreme Court legalizes contraception for married couples.

    1967
    13 million people worldwide are using the pill.

    1972
    The Supreme Court case Eisenstadt v. Baird legalizes contraception for single people.

    1980s
    Scientists confirm that much lower hormone doses are safer and just as effective, so newer and better pills come onto the market.

    1990s to 2000s
    Other hormonal delivery methods like patches, rings, gels, and injections become available, expanding options further.

    1998
    The FDA approves the first hormonal emergency contraceptive pills. Scientists had known since the early 1970s that higher doses of existing birth control pills could prevent pregnancy if taken after sexual activity, but this was an uncommon off-label use until the late 90s.

    2006
    The FDA approves the first over-the-counter (OTC) emergency contraceptive, Plan B, for people 18 and older.

    2013
    The FDA approves OTC Plan B for all ages.

    2022
    Pharmaceutical company Perrigo submits an application to the FDA to bring a progestin-only daily pill, Opill, over the counter.

    May 2023
    FDA advisory committees hold a public hearing on the Opill application and vote unanimously to recommend approval.

    July 2023
    The FDA approves over-the-counter Opill.

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  • She Gives the WORST ADVICE

    She Gives the WORST ADVICE

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    She Gives the WORST ADVICE

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    Tripp Advice

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  • Iowa Is the Latest Example of the Anti-Democratic Post-Roe Fallout

    Iowa Is the Latest Example of the Anti-Democratic Post-Roe Fallout

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    This piece first appeared in our weekly newsletter, The Fallout. Sign up for it here.

    The Supreme Court may be done doing business for the summer, but the anti-democratic fallout from the fall of Roe v. Wade continues.

    Late Tuesday evening, Iowa’s Republican-controlled legislature passed a near-total abortion ban, ending access for Iowans at six weeks, before most even people know they’re pregnant. It was the result of a one-day special session called by Republican Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds, whose only goal in passing the ban was to defy the will of the people and the ruling of the Iowa Supreme Court.

    This is autocracy in action, folks—and it’s been directly inspired by the U.S. Supreme Court’s conservative wing.

    If there’s any good news out of all this, it’s that Iowans are pissed about this latest power grab by conservatives in their state, and showed up in droves to oppose the measure. Given what we’ve seen of voter engagement since the overturn of Roe, this could be a problem for lawmakers later on. Additionally, advocates have already filed a challenge to the six-week ban in state court—the same state court that had previously ruled a nearly identical ban unconstitutional under the Iowa Constitution a month ago. There are plenty of reasons to believe the Iowa courts will also strike this latest legislative abomination.

    No matter what happens in the Iowa courts, it won’t change the reality that dismantling abortion rights in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization has inspired a slow-rolling constitutional crisis. Conservative lawmakers understand that in many ways, the time is effectively now or never to pass whatever piece of nightmare legislation they can dream up—and they’re going for it. They know these bans defy the wishes and interests of their constituents. And they know these bans will cause immense amounts of pain and suffering.

    They just don’t care.

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  • Benefits of Roll-On Perfume Vs. Spray-On Perfume – Morning Lazziness

    Benefits of Roll-On Perfume Vs. Spray-On Perfume – Morning Lazziness

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    Perfumes are the perfect way to add a touch of class and personality to your already-stylish outfits. It amplifies your aura, making people notice you wherever you go- be it for work or play. But with so many different types of perfumes available in the market, how do you choose one that suits your sense of style?

    When it comes to selecting a perfume, there are two popular forms; roll-on perfume oil and spray-on perfume. Deciding between the two can be difficult because each has its own unique pros and cons.

    In today’s article, we will dive deep into the world of perfumes and their benefits so that you can confidently select what’s best for you.

    Benefits of Roll-On Perfume Vs. Spray-On Perfume

    1. Convenient and Portable

    Roll-on perfumes come in small bottles that are easy to carry around in your purse or pocket while on the go. They also take up very little space in your luggage if you’re traveling by air or public transport. This is why they’ve been popular amongst travelers forever! Plus, since they’re compact, they don’t run out quickly, as sprays do!

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    2. Less Wastage

    One disadvantage with spray perfumes is that when sprayed unevenly, sometimes half ends up on clothing which isn’t great, particularly when wearing expensive clothes!! Roll-on perfumes eliminate this problem as their formula doesn’t transfer onto fabrics.

    3. Economical

    Roll-on perfumes typically contain more concentrated fragrance than sprays — so it lasts longer than traditional ones giving them an economic advantage over sprays.

    4. Hygienic 

    Theller ball works exceptionally well for personal hygiene by preventing excess perfume from getting trapped beneath nails where bacteria can grow, leading to unsavory smells!!!

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    5. Positive Environmental Impact

    Another plus point for roll-ons? They’re friendlier towards nature than sprays, i.e., less harmful gasses going into the environment. This may also lead to fewer allergies, particularly those caused by fragrances.

    The Drawbacks of Roll-On Perfume Oil

    1. Less Variety

    Compared to spray perfumes, there are fewer scents available in roll-on form.

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    2. Harsher Chemicals 

    Roll-ons tend to have more alcohol than their spray counterparts, i.e., sometimes making them harsher- not great for extremely sensitive skin!

    Benefits of Spray-On Perfume Vs. Roll-On Perfume

    KYVAN Shei By Kyla Women’s Perfume

    1. Easier Application 

    Spray perfumes can be applied evenly all over your body with just one spritz, compared to rolling over yourself multiple times with a rollerball fragrance oil.

    2. Wide range of Scents Available

    With internationally reputed brands making only sprays, it’s clear that if you’re into designer brands, your better choice would be a spray perfume, particularly if you need a perfume gift set or women’s fragrance gift sets for special occasions.

    3. Long-lasting Formula 

    In general, since they come in pump bottles, the formula used in sprays is more concentrated, leading to longer staying power on the skin throughout the day, and so used by many women’s menopause groups to feel good during this challenging time!

    4. Lesser Amount Used

    With just one pump being enough, even distribution over larger areas helps reduce the amount used, giving you excellent value for money, especially when using regularly, so it’s ideal for everyday use too!!

    The Drawbacks of Spray-On Perfume 

    1. Highly Flammable Liquids! 

    Spray perfumes are highly flammable due to the high concentration of alcohol used in them, which makes them unsuitable for use near open flames like candles and gas stoves etc., making room sprayers an attractive solution instead.

    2. Unpredictable wastage

    More often than not, distributing evenly under clothes or onto necks is not easy, as an overspray can spoil that evening dress!! Plus, if traveling, there’s always a risk of those large bottles spilling onto your clothes.

    In conclusion, choosing between roll-on perfume oil and spray-on perfume is a matter of personal preference. Roll-ons are more portable, convenient to use, hygienic, economical, and environment-friendly. Spray perfumes offer an easier application experience, have more variety, and make lovely designer gift sets. No matter what you pick, just make sure that it makes you feel confident!

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    Shruti Sood

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  • Exclusive: National Abortion Federation’s New CEO Hopes to Be a ‘Stabilizing Force’

    Exclusive: National Abortion Federation’s New CEO Hopes to Be a ‘Stabilizing Force’

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    After a nearly two-year search, the National Abortion Federation has found a new leader. The organization announced today that Brittany Fonteno will become its president and CEO as of September 1.

    Founded in 1977, NAF is the country’s leading professional organization for abortion providers and counts hundreds of providers, clinics, and other facilities as members. The nonprofit offers training, technical, and security support to members, and it creates clinical guidelines for abortion care that are widely considered to be a gold standard.

    NAF also operates the National Abortion Hotline, which connects callers to care and financial assistance, helping to cover abortion costs by pledging funds for a patient’s care directly to the clinic or provider. The NAF Hotline Fund is one of the largest sources of abortion funding in the United States.

    NAF’s previous CEO, Katherine Ragsdale, stepped down in late 2021. This left the organization without a permanent leader in the aftermath of the 2022 Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. Fonteno, who began working in reproductive and sexual health as a peer educator at age 19, will be just the seventh person to lead NAF since its founding. She will be the organization’s first Black CEO, and takes the helm in the midst of unprecedented upheaval in the U.S. abortion access landscape.

    As news of Fonteno’s appointment circulated among NAF members, Rewire News Group was contacted on Wednesday by sources who expressed concern about the fact that Planned Parenthood Arizona is not a member of NAF and was not during her tenure there. Fonteno declined to comment.

    “It’s a really challenging time within the movement, but it’s also a time filled with opportunities,” Fonteno told Rewire News Group in an earlier exclusive interview prior to the public announcement. The conversation has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

    Rewire News Group: So, Brittany, you’re coming to NAF most recently having been president and CEO of Planned Parenthood Arizona. Prior to that, you worked for Planned Parenthood in New England, but I also see that you have some experience more on the grassroots side of the reproductive health, rights, and justice movement, such as being a board member for the New York Abortion Access Fund. What drew you to work in the movement in the first place, and what draws you to this position with NAF now?

    Brittany Fonteno: It’s really my lived experience as a queer, Black woman of faith, and more recently as a mother, that has drawn me to my work in reproductive health, rights, and justice. My family has been in this country for generations and has experienced a cycle of generational poverty, which a lot of Black and brown families have experienced. My parents, luckily enough, were able to break out of that cycle of poverty and give me a different life than what they had. They grew up in the segregated South and in Brooklyn, before it was gentrified. A very different Brooklyn. And they were able to give me access to health care, and education, and opportunities. And I saw health inequities play out in my own family; for example, my cousins who didn’t have the same opportunities that I had, who experienced unintended pregnancies at a young age, or were not able to continue with their education.

    When I went to college in Washington, D.C., that’s where my political activism started. I became a peer educator on my college campus and a campus organizer focused on sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice. I fell so deeply in love with this work, and I knew from a pretty early age that I wanted to pursue this as my career. I would tell my mom that I wanted to be a professional feminist. And she was like, “How are you going to pay off your student loans by being a professional feminist?” Thankfully, I was able to find a way. I started off working at smaller nonprofits that were led by and dedicated to women of color. I worked at the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Justice, and I served on the board of directors for the New York Abortion Access Fund, where I did case management and abortion funding for a couple of years.

    In more recent years, after doing this work for over a decade, I’ve had my own experience with having an abortion in a very hostile environment. Becoming a mother for the first time and then having an abortion really just solidified the work that I had already been doing. It made me an even stronger advocate for abortion access and reproductive freedom.

    As you mentioned, you have a lot of experience working within organizations that are led by people of color. NAF has historically been a white-led organization, which is something it has faced criticism for. What does it mean to you to step in as the first Black leader of NAF?

    BF: It’s such an incredible honor to step into this role as the first Black woman to lead this organization. NAF plays such a critical and essential role in the wider movement by unifying abortion providers, and I feel that it’s a great privilege to be at the helm, representing abortion providers and trying to serve as a unifying force within the NAF federation. It’s a really challenging time within the movement, but it’s also a time filled with opportunities.

    I have been doing this work since I was 19, and to see the change in leadership within this movement start to reflect more people who look like me, as well as people who are most impacted by abortion and abortion bans, has been so incredible. Obviously, the reproductive justice movement really sprung up in response to predominantly white spaces, and predominantly white repro spaces in particular. I try to do my work from a reproductive justice lens. I have always felt very strongly that there’s no decisions about us, without us, and that we are the ones who should lead our communities forward in this historic moment in time.

    The last year has been extraordinarily difficult, to say the very least. This is a big question, but what are a few major priorities that you have for NAF moving forward over, let’s say, the next year?

    BF: First and foremost, my top priority is to work to unify all abortion providers within this space, understanding that we are in this new landscape that is constantly evolving, that is really chaotic. There is no time like now to stand together and fight back by providing and expanding access to abortion care. I can’t think of a more revolutionary thing for us to do as an organization and as a movement. And so, in unifying abortion providers, I really want to make sure that we’re ensuring true abortion access for all people.

    A second priority would be to increase funding for patients on the hotline. After the Dobbs leak and in the direct aftermath of the decision, there was a surge of funding in the form of rage donations. Many organizations have experienced that really decreasing. But the need is greater now than it was a year ago, because more and more states have been continuing to claw back access. And so, I really want to highlight the real stories of devastation that people are experiencing, and be able to increase funding so that people are able to get the care that they need.

    I also want to strengthen the support that NAF provides to people on the front lines through our policy and security work so that they can provide expert and equitable abortion care. The last thing that I’m really interested in is trying to cut through all of the political rhetoric and really center the conversation on abortion, on patients and providers. When we take out all of the politics and we recenter on health care, and people’s bodies, and their lives, we’re able to connect with people in a different way, and really lift up and elevate the real lived experiences that people are having in this crisis moment.

    Photo of abortion rights rally in front of the Supreme Court building
    Rewire News Group

    Speaking of lived experiences, you mentioned that you yourself had an abortion that took place in a hostile environment. Is there anything more that you’re willing to share about that experience?

    BF: Sure. I had an abortion, and it was in Arizona, where I currently live. It was a very much wanted pregnancy. Unfortunately, I went to the doctor for a standard checkup in my second trimester, and there was no heartbeat. And I was completely devastated. I asked the doctor what my options were, and he said my only option was to either induce labor and deliver, or to travel to California to get some sort of vague health care that he would not define. I knew, obviously, from my work that those were not my only options. And so I kept pushing, and specifically asking about a D&E [dilation and evacuation], and he said that that just wasn’t an option in Arizona. I know that it is. After he denied me my right to health care, I was able to access an abortion locally through one of the amazing providers here.

    This was in the direct aftermath of Roe being overturned, and my experience was filled with compassion and expert care, during what was the most heartbreaking time in my life. So I know both from a provider and a patient perspective how critical abortion care is to people who need it.

    Thank you for sharing that. Changing gears slightly, I wonder what you think being a NAF member should mean. What would you want it to signify to patients and to other people in the field, that a clinic or a provider is a NAF member?

    BF: Oh, that’s a really wonderful question. The very first thing that comes to my mind is that, when patients or people in the community see that a provider is a NAF member, they know without a doubt that they can go to that clinic and receive expert, compassionate, evidence-based care. That they’ll be taken care of, that their needs will be met in a way that is patient-centered, and that they won’t have doubts about their decision to go there. I would want for providers to look at NAF and say, “Yeah, they’re using the most recent evidence and information to make sure that this care is not only accessible, but equitable.” And I would want for people in the broader community to see NAF as a strong community of providers and advocates for abortion access. Those are my initial thoughts, but I’m sure that will continue to evolve as I step into the role.

    As you mentioned, one of the really important things that NAF does is create and disseminate clinical guidelines for abortion providers. I know that this can be a sensitive subject, because the anti-abortion movement wants to portray abortion as dangerous, and we know that it is not. But I have reported on situations where there were concerns that certain providers or facilities were not following NAF guidelines.

    I’m not going to ask you to comment on anything that happened before you were working for NAF, but I’ve heard from some clinical workers that they would like for there to be a more formalized process for people to report concerns like this to NAF. Is that something that you would be interested in implementing?

    BF: Since I haven’t quite stepped into my role yet, I would really want to be able to fully understand all of the different perspectives about this concern. What I do know now is that, as you mentioned, NAF’s clinical guideline policies are really a hallmark of a benefit that NAF offers. It’s something that sets our providers apart, being able to provide that evidence-based care. So what I would focus on is making sure that we continue to provide top-of-the-line information to providers so that they are able to serve patients in a way that is expert and compassionate. I would need more time to truly understand all of the different components at play, but that would be my ultimate goal.

    Another word that has come up when I’ve spoken with providers about their experiences working with NAF, especially in the last year, is “dysfunction.” A lot of providers are feeling that there’s been internal disorganization that has resulted in them not always getting the support they need, or not receiving funds that have been pledged to them in a timely fashion. Are there any specific things that you’d like to address or change in terms of how NAF communicates with or supports providers?

    BF: Since I haven’t stepped into the role yet, I can’t speak directly to internal operations and workings of the organization. But what I can say is that this has been a really confusing and chaotic time for everyone who’s working across abortion rights and access. All organizations, including NAF, I know, are trying to just do our best to keep up with a—sometimes on a daily basis—rapidly evolving legal landscape that has a direct impact on our operations. I think my focus would be to make sure that I could be a stabilizing force, both internally within NAF as well as throughout the federation.

    We have an opposition that is incredibly well-organized and very savvy. I hate to give them any sort of compliment, but it’s true. This environment of chaos [is one] that they have created, and that our organizations are reacting to. I think it’s important that we place the blame where it is, and it’s with anti-abortion extremists. So I hope to be a stabilizing force, because we know that this chaos and confusion is only going to continue.

    I’ve heard from so many abortion funds that many of their callers now need thousands of dollars in order to get their abortions, rather than a few hundred. NAF plays a huge role in covering the cost of abortion care, but more money is needed now than in the past, and even more is likely to be needed as more states ban abortion. What does a sustainable funding model for an organization like NAF look like? What are your goals in terms of fundraising?

    BF: That is very much top of mind for me. I think that one of the biggest things that we need to do at NAF, but also across the movement, is continue to share stories of patients and providers. I think that when the media moves on to the next big story, we need to not step back and be okay with that, because we are seeing the real life impact, the devastation, play out on a daily basis, and we should not be the only ones to witness people’s stories if they want to share them. So I think that creating a more strategic and cohesive ongoing fundraising plan will be very top of mind.

    I also want to see if we can tap into more people outside of the movement. Thinking about businesses and corporations, especially after 2020, their employees have demanded that they take a stand in different ways. And taking a stand by saying some nice words is one thing, but taking a stand with your actions is something different. I would also love to get a better understanding from NAF staff and members of what their ideas would be about how we continue to evolve the fundraising model to make sure that there’s financial sustainability both for NAF and for the providers and patients.

    Another thing that NAF does is monitor anti-abortion violence and consult with clinics on safety and security. I’ve reported on clinic violence a lot over the years, and something that I’ve heard from a lot of providers and escorts is that they’re really interested in trying to find ways to address anti-abortion violence that don’t necessarily involve policing, because seeing police outside of clinic doesn’t always make patients, especially people of color, feel safer. There are also a lot of documented instances of police being openly sympathetic to anti-abortion protesters. I know that at one point NAF was working with a committee of abortion providers of color to think about this. Is this something that is a priority for you?

    BF: Absolutely. Safety has always been a top concern in abortion work, even before the overturn of Roe. There’s always been an element of risk and danger in this work. And of course, that has only increased since the Supreme Court’s decision, and even more so in states that have banned abortion. I think that it’s incredibly important to make sure that providers and patients feel safe when they’re providing and receiving health care.

    As a community, NAF is well-positioned to be able to think through what different options could be for safety. I’m excited to be able to collaborate with member providers and staff, and think about what the best solutions could look like. I think it probably looks different for different providers in different communities. I think being responsive culturally, and to the community that providers are in, would be a top priority in thinking about safety concerns.

    Recently, the National Eating Disorders Association shut down its helpline after 20 years of operation, and transitioned to using an AI chatbot called “Tessa” to respond to people who reached out for help. Pretty quickly, there were reports that the chatbot was giving harmful advice, and it was suspended. This story made a lot of people nervous that something similar could happen in the abortion access realm given that NAF and other organizations, like abortion funds, rely heavily on hotlines. Under your leadership, would NAF ever consider using AI to respond to callers?

    BF: Oh, that’s an interesting question. I feel like I am definitely behind on truly understanding AI. Maybe I’m a bad millennial in that respect. But I think that nothing can truly replace the relationship and the connection of two humans trying to help each other access a human right. I know from my own experience with abortion funding that the connection that you have to the person on the other side of the line is not something that I think could be easily replicated by technology. I think technology can help us in a lot of ways, and I’m very interested in and curious to see how technology could help us become more efficient. But I don’t at this time foresee AI taking over the human connection.

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    Speaking of humans, and in particular the workers who power the hotline, those workers formed a union a few years ago. Initially, NAF really fought the unionization effort before ultimately recognizing and bargaining with the union. I will also disclose that, as a Rewire News Group employee, I’m a member of that same union, the Washington-Baltimore News Guild. Are you committed to working with the union?

    BF: Yes, absolutely. I respect workers’ rights to be able to organize and to form unions, and would of course collaborate in the appropriate ways to make sure that union staff and all staff feel good about their work at NAF, and feel that NAF is a great place to work.

    Great. As states have banned abortion, and with more states likely to do so in the next year, there are a number of clinics in ban states that are trying to stay open even though they can no longer provide abortion care. One of the critical things these clinics are providing is follow-up care for people who have to leave the state for an abortion and then return home. Are there any ways that NAF might consider supporting these clinics to try and help them stay around, even though they are not directly providing abortion care anymore?

    BF: Since I haven’t stepped the role yet, I don’t know that I can comment directly on that, but what I can say is that I think we are all going to have to be open to evolving what our practices are, and how we show up and support providers and patients in this new world that we’re living in. As you said, there’s essential care that’s being provided in ban states by experts who may not be legally able to provide abortion care. And so I would definitely want to understand what their perspective is, understand what staff’s perspective is, and then collaboratively come to a decision on that.

    Another thing that NAF came under fire for, particularly after SB 8 went into effect in Texas, was that a lot of providers wanted to defy that law, but were told by NAF that they’d lose their funding if they did. Similarly, many providers and funders were frustrated by NAF’s decisions regarding funding in states where abortion bans were temporarily blocked, as well as other NAF policies they see as unnecessarily restrictive. Is this something you’re interested in looking into as the new CEO? Could NAF consider taking a more legally aggressive stance, so to speak?

    BF: I think that this is an important question, and I don’t have all of the answers because I wasn’t at NAF when [those decisions were made]. What I do know is that NAF, like every other reproductive health organization, has been navigating a really chaotic and cruel patchwork of anti-abortion laws that have been designed to keep people from being able to get the care that they need, and to make providers fearful of providing this essential health care. NAF’s priority has always been to work closely with providers and clinics that are on the front lines to ensure that they can continue to provide essential care to as many patients as possible.

    I think that, overall, we’re going to continue to see a lot of unprecedented events play out legally. And our responsibility is to do our best to navigate this environment that has been created by anti-abortion extremists, keeping at the center the providers that we serve and the patients that they care for.

    I have to assume that, having worked in the movement for a long time, you already know a lot of abortion providers. But it’s a big country. What’s your plan for your first couple of months on the job in terms of talking to people and figuring out what the current needs are among NAF members?

    BF: I think my top priorities are really to listen and learn, first and foremost. I do have a long history in this movement, but I’m coming into NAF new and fresh, in a way, and I want to be able to listen and learn from staff, and from the providers that are on the ground. As an abortion provider, I have one experience, but as I mentioned, with this patchwork of policies across the country, I’m sure every provider is having a different experience. I want to listen and learn from their experiences and expertise. I want to build authentic relationships with people, because that’s how I think that we can best come together, unify, and create this community that I would like to see for NAF.

    I would love to visit the independent health centers and really get a sense of what their day-to-day experiences are like and the challenges that they’re facing. I could also see doing town halls, whether they’re in person or virtual, and, of course, one-on-one or small group meetings just to create opportunities for connection. From there, having hopefully built a strong foundation, my hope is that I will be well-positioned to lead NAF into the future.

    I’m glad you mentioned independent providers, because as I’m sure you know, independent abortion clinics often have a lot less funding and support for the challenges that they encounter. Especially right now, when abortion bans are pushing many people later into pregnancy than they wanted to have their abortions, independent clinics are providing the majority of those later abortions. In terms of clinics that provide third trimester care, it’s only independent providers. Is supporting those independent providers a priority of yours?

    BF: Absolutely. Independent providers play such a unique and critical role in abortion access and provision. I want to make sure that all NAF members feel supported. I think part of using an equitable approach to this work is looking at what those specific and individual needs are, and then being able to respond to them.

    The last question I have for you is about sustainability. We talked about sustainability in terms of funding, but something that a lot of people are talking about right now is burnout. It’s incredibly difficult to have any kind of role in abortion care or abortion access right now, because the work is so hard. People are experiencing torturous things, and workers in the movement are absorbing those stories and those experiences from patients.

    I’m curious about how you hope to care for yourself in this role, and if there are any ideas you have about things you’d like to implement within NAF to help employees, especially those who are answering calls on the hotline, to care for themselves and make sure that they’re not getting burned out and losing their ability to do this work?

    BF: Oh my goodness, this is so real. The past several years doing this work have been so incredibly hard, on a level that I think many people didn’t anticipate. It has really, at times, been traumatizing, especially for those of us who have these personal connections or lived experiences with this work. A lot of people come to this work because they have some sort of intimate connection to it. So I think that it’s really important to try to make abortion work as sustainable as possible, because creating this environment of unsustainability, again, is a tactic of the opposition to drive people away from doing this work.

    It’s very top of mind for me to make sure that NAF staff and members feel that the work is sustainable, that they do feel supported, so that they can do their work on a daily basis. Overall, burnout solutions are not one-size-fits-all. For myself, trying to take intentional time to reconnect with my loved ones and reconnect with the things that fill my cup, like dancing, traveling—things like that help. I would really want to understand what staff and providers feel are the biggest contributors to burnout and hear what meaningful solutions might look like, and then try to try to work in collaboration with people to create some solutions to burnout.

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