Category: Humor

I have been surprised to find that some people who are in technology
fields don’t have a clear grasp on the difference between RAM and “disk” storage.
Or perhaps more accurately these days, “Direct Access Storage Devices.” I’ve
eventually become accustomed to it from ordinary folks, but
PC World?

An anonymous reader sent in this one, explaining
“Yep. According to PC World Starfield will require 125
GB of available RAM so you’ll need at least 128 GB or more RAM installed to play.
The Steam page correctly list the item as Storage: 125 GB available space
so this is completely on PC World. To add insult to injury the post is titled
Bethesda’s Starfield PC system requirements: An SSD is mandatory
so you’d expect at the very least to get the storage requirements right.
Rush to print, trip and fall flat on your face. Thanks for the WTF, PC World!”

Child prodigy
Colin C.
puzzled
“I’m really not sure how I created files seven years before I was born; maybe I’m just precocious.”

Poet
Paweł Szymański lamented that he can’t squeeze
the word about into a haiku, reciting

“Haiku writers hate

When people use this one

Very simple trick”

Time Lord
Neil G.
declares AWS knows how to do chronological sorting.
“This really made it easy to find the Load Balancer that got created yesterday…”

Convalescing
Adam R. thinks that bad math is an insurance WTF.
“My bill said I owed $146.66 as of 7/5, with one insurance
claim still pending. Now as I go to pay the bill, they
claim I owe $238.77, but clearly something doesn’t add up
here: the math still says I should owe $146.66 from these
numbers. I *presume* this is because the insurance claim
settled during the interim, and they updated the balance,
but not the charges.” I can tell you, bad math is not
even the beginning of insurance WTFs.

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“This photo has baffled my family since it was taken on Easter 1984. When my mom got the photo back, she immediately had me try to pose like this and I couldn’t. We’ve never figured it out. No photoshop, and I assure you I am neither possessed by a demon nor anywhere near that flexible.”

(submitted by Sarah)

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Sources say Barbie is a Chinese agent and may have been the one responsible for stashing cocaine in the White House.

SNN secret undercover correspondent Will Yu Hush reports that just days before the world premier of her summer blockbuster, movie pop icon Barbie has been arrested under suspicion of being a Chinese agent, spying for the government of China.

Mr. Hush reports that agents acted on a tip from Slobovian Secret Service agent Redd Hotte, who went undercover and joined Barbie’s entourage as a shoe wrangler. He says that FBI and American Secret Service agents, along with officers from Homeland Security and a squad of GI Joe troops, all descended on Barbie’s Beverly Hills Mansion at midnight and placed her in custody.

According to Agent Hotte, the Slobovian Secret Service has been investigating Barbie for several years. The investigation was launched when Barbie began pumping Schittzie (The Slobovian Barbie) for Slobovian trade secrets at a celebrity cocktail party.

According to Agent Hotte, while Barbies has maintained the personna of the all-American girl, at some point in the early 1970’s she fell under the spell of famous Red Chinese agent Wo Fat, who, using behavior modification and indoctrination techniques, turned her into a Chinese spy.

Her first assignment for the Chinese Government was to seduce GI Joe and obtain military secrets.

There is also proof that Barbie had a recent affair with Hunter Biden and may have stashed their cocaine in the White House.

When asked about her arrest, Barbie stated, “Redd Hotte is just a jealous bitch who wants my boyfriend Kenny.”

SNN Words to Live By

“She’s the hot sauce on my ribs and the bacon grease in my Collard greens.” — James Evans Jr. (Jimmie Walker), Good Times 1970’s TV series.

“When one uses social media, all the people that one has lied to know where to find one.” — Slobovian philosopher and pickpocket Benny the Backslider, 45 BC.

“I’m a bastard… most of the best people are.” — Lee Van Cleef, “El Condor,” 1970 film.

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.

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SERIAL KILLER WAS
EMPLOYED BY TRUMP!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12316765/Trump-hired-Gilgo-Beach-serial-killer-suspect-Rex-Heuermann-200K-architect-job-prized-NYC-property-Wall-Street.html

Who could have possibly seen this coming?
A partisan Republican serial killer in N.Y.
Named Rex Heuermann who is an architect
Rex worked for Trump. What did you expect?
Rex had a dungeon filled with porn and guns
Rex the Republican got his gross groove on
By hiring and killing young female prostitutes
Then going home and watching Fox “News”
SERIAL KILLER WAS EMPLOYED BY TRUMP!
Is one headline you will never see on Fox
Because the Rapepublican Party sucks!
Donald Trump employed Rex Heuermann
In 2018, and will hire GOP Rex again in 2024
Before Trump will be jailed at Mar-a-Lago
Maybe Rex can do some tacky design work
For his obese “Orange Hitler” Donald Trump
The Jerk whose face looks just like his rump
Get your tiny hands off of your daughter, sir!
Ivanka doesn’t want her daddy touching her

Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USA

P.S. — You can find out more about me and my widely published writings by clicking on the link: https://muckrack.com/jake-pickering-1

John likes to write about all kinds of things. So he does. You’re reading one now – enjoy!

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Signed: Jake Pickering

Hurray! SCOTUS has ruled to forestall the scurrilous influx of so-called minority rights into our society.

By Llib Epot, Conservative Capital Correspondent

At last! The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) has ruled, in their typically reasonable and common sense way — emblematic of the Trump Court — to forestall the scurrilous influx of so-called minority rights into our society. On June 30, the Court ruled unequivocally that businesses can discriminate in rendering services and merchandise to those businesses and individuals whose sexual identity conflicts with their personal or religious philosophies. This is the most important anti-LGBTQ case since Dale, where SCOTUS ruled, sensibly, once again, that homosexual men could be denied scout master positions based on their sexual identities.

Not since the 1850s has such a rich opportunity been available to small businesses in America. Writing per the 6-3 decision, Justice Clarence Thomas hinted that this ruling may be viewed as a model for future, similar rulings. A woman in Salt Lake City this week announced that she would not fill orders for wedding cakes from Black individuals, because of “the sin of Ham against Noah.” Bravo! The New Confederacy, in particular, has embraced this decision, citing it as an opportunity to reestablish chattel slavery throughout the South. Cotton growers are said to be licking their lips.

The owner of a janitorial company in St. Louis, Mo. came forward and said he would no longer clean office buildings owned by Jewish merchants because such individuals are “Christ killers” and that obliging Jews with service would run contrary to his religion.

J.B. Beavis & Sons, a share-a-ride purveyor based in Austin, Tx., said in a statement today that women residing in Illinois, which is a part of Beavis’s territory, would not be provided with rides on the off chance that they would be transported to facilities in search of an abortion. “Baby-killing is legal in the Land of Lincoln,” said the statement, “and we will do nothing to assist in the murder of children.”

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R. GA) said Thursday that she’ll welcome back the age of Jim Crow “with open arms.” She added that the First Amendment, upon which the Court ruling was based, is, after the Second Amendment, the most important part of the U.S. Constitution. Some were outspoken on the recent conservative turn of the Supreme Court.

Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D. CA) said that the conservative majority on the court was “a bunch of assholes.”

When queried on the SCOTUS decision, current House Speaker Kevin McCarthy asked, sheepishly “What does Trump say about it? Because, that’s what I think too.”

Others were even more cagey: Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R. KY) said that a change in the lineup of the Supreme Court was called for. “I think,” remarked McConnell, “that we need at least three more conservatives on the court.” Then he chuckled softly as an old lady slipped on a banana peel and fell on the Capitol steps.

Bill Tope is a retired (caseworker, cook, construction worker, nude model for art classes, and so on) who lives with his mean little cat Baby.

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Today’s an interesting case of code that seems perfectly reasonable at first glance. Sent to us from FinalGuy, this Java code caused no end of problems for him due to its rather unexpected behavior:

public void setCurrentPage(int currentPage) {
    if ( currentPage < 1 ) {
        currentPage = 1;
    }
    if ( currentPage > maxPages ) {
        currentPage = maxPages;
    }
    this.currentPage = currentPage;
}

This code exists in the context of a Java Bean, aka a class that’s just meant to hold data, and gets some bonus features for accessing that data. And this setter clearly is meant to do some validation, and this is validation that seems pretty reasonable: you can’t be on a page of a result set that comes before the first or comes after the last. It’s very much an Object Oriented Programming 101 example of how setters are meant to be used to ensure a valid state of your object.

So where’s the WTF?

Well, one of the requirements for a Java Bean is that it needs to support no-argument constructors. This means that maxPages is set to 0, unless they overrode the default no argument constructor (they didn’t). If you’re configuring the object, this means that you must set maxPages before you can set currentPage, introducing a dependency between two properties in the object. This isn’t just a bad practice because it annoys your developers, it also can break different approaches to serializing/deserializing your Beans.

More than that, though, this code implicitly sets boundaries, which means you don’t know that it changed your input data. The Pythonic aphorism “explicit is better than implicit” is a good practice in any language. A better option would be to have it throw an exception when you send it invalid values, so at least you know they were wrong. The best option, however, would be to follow the single responsibility principle and have a validator object that verifies a correct object state later, after the object has been entirely initialized.

In the end, this code isn’t the eyeball-ravaging-mind-exhausting horror that we usually look for on this site. But I think it’s interesting that this relatively tame looking code, the kind of thing that’s in pretty much any “Introduction to Object Oriented Programming” text, is so very wrong to write.