Are you ready to moo-ve into a pasture of cow jokes? This herd of udderly hilarious cow puns are sure to tickle your funny bone.
The best cow puns and funniest cow jokes
From witty puns to rib-tickling one-liners, these jokes will have you laughing ’til the cows come home. So without further ado, let’s get moo-ving with some cow-themed humour!
Funny cow jokes
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don’t work.
What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper.
What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline? A milkshake.
What kind of shows do cows like best? Moosicals.
What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
What happens when you try talking to a cow? Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
How did the cow get to the moon? It went into udder space.
What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak-out.
What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini.
Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best mooves.
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaad mooood.
Why did the cow look so confused? He was having déjà-moo.
Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry.
Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night? To the moovies.
What do you call a scared cow? A cow-ard.
What do you call a bad-tempered cow? Moo-dy.
Where do cows get their medicine? The farmacy.
What does the cow band play? Moo-sic.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way.
What do cows say when they apologise to one another? “Sorry, I made a mis-steak.“
More silly jokes about cows
What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humour? Laughing stock.
Where do cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria.
What is a cow’s favourite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
What is a cow’s favourite colour? Marooooooon.
What is a cow’s favourite movie series? Steer Wars.
What happened to the fence when the cow ran into it? It was udderly destroyed.
Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
What has the lone cow been up to lately? Nobody’s herd…
Where would you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
What do you get when you cross a smurf with a cow? Blue cheese.
What do you get when you cross two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.
How would you address the queen of cows? Your Moojesty, or Dairy Queen.
What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef.
What did the farmer say to the lazy cow? “Just give me 2% milk.”
Who’s in charge of the dairy? The cow-ptain.
Can you make money owning cows? Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her? “Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again.”
Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold? To keep each udder warm.
Cow dad jokes
How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
What’s a cow’s favourite school subject? Cowculus.
What maths problems do cows like to solve? Moo-tiplication problems.
What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
How do you make a cow be quiet? Press the moo-te button.
Why did the two cows dislike each other? They had beef.
What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
What would you call a cow wearing armour? Sir Loin.
What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? Milk of Amnesia.
How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down.
What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? “I don’t know about you but I’m Fresian.”
Why did the artist love painting cows? He said they were his moos.
What is a cow’s dream job? Being an udder cover agent.
What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn moo-er.
What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches.
What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen, but not herd.”
What do cows say when they hear a bad joke? ”I am not amoosed.”
What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
Cow knock knock jokes
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly, cows go moo!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh- MOO!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow much longer will you put up with all this knocking?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-a-bunga, dude!
Even more cow jokes for kids
What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail? “How dairy!“
What did the mama cow say to the baby cows? “It’s pasture bedtime.”
What do you call a cow that can’t make milk? A milk dud.
What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
What did one dairy cow say to the other? Got milk?
When is milk the freshest? When it’s still in the cow.
Where do cow farts come from? Their dairy-ère.
What do cows put on pancakes? Moolasses.
What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flaged.
Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
Why don’t dairy cows have money? Because the farmers keep draining them dry.
What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster? Roost beef.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk.
What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow.
What animal goes “oom, oom”? A cow walking backwards.
When one cow said “Moo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”
Why are cows always telling each other jokes? To keep themselves amoosed.
What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught? Don’t moove a moo-scle.
How do you make Swiss cheese? With milk from a holey cow.
Why do cows like to go to the spa? To get some re-hoove-ination.
Why do cows work? To make mooney.
What do you feed a badly behaved cow? Spoiled milk.
Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? They’ve probably herd it before.
The best cow puns
You herd it here first
Quite the cowmedian
An udder day, an udder dollar
Grab the bull by the horns
How dairy
Out for the cow-nt
Born udder a lucky star
Don’t be a cow-herd
That’s laugha-bull
Explore the possi-bull-ities
Beyond my capa-bull-ities
Bull-dly go where no man has gone before
Bully for you
Udder no illusions
Finger on the bull-se
Steer clear
Until the cows come home
Stop me if you’ve herd this before
The last I herd
Err on the side of cow-tion
Throw cow-tion to the wind
Keep it udder wraps
It’s pasture bedtime
Cute cow puns
Seen, but not herd
Udderly in love
For heifer and heifer
Over the moon
Still calf asleep
I’ve got calf a mind to…
Don’t you udder-stand?
Milking it
Udderly hilarious
An udder failure
Don’t do things by calves
Bull yourself together
Bulling strings
Bulligerent
Bull-ieve it or not
Suspend your dis-bull-ief
Daily bull-etin
Bull-dozer
Somewhere in that bull-park
Hanging in the bull-ance
Bull your socks up
Like a lead bull-oon
Bull-ow the belt
Seeing is bull-ieving
Bull-igerent
Dearly bull-oved
Hyper-bull-e
Sustaina-bull
More puns about cows
The steaks are high
I’ve herd it all before
Holy cow!
What a cow-incidence
Cash cow
I’ve got beef with that
Legen-dairy
Miscowculation
Cow-operation
Cow-ercive
Cow-efficient
Cow-existence
Cow-ordinates
Cow-nterproductive
Cow-ardice
Cow-herently
Cow-nteract
Cow-nterpart
Cow-nterfeit
Cow-ntless
Cow-ntenance
Cow-nterbalance
Moo puns
Seize the moo-ment
I’ve got the moo-ves
Not in the moo-d
In a bad moo-d
Off to the moo-vies
What beautiful moo-sic
I am not a-moo-sed
Cow-moo-flaged
Moo-vement
Re-moo-val
Un-moo-vable
Don’t have a cow!
One last funny cow pun…
You might feel like you’ve heard these cow puns before, but it’s probably just déjà-moo!
And there you have it: a herd of hilarious cow jokes. We hope you’re feeling udderly amused and ready to share these cow laughs with friends and family. Remember, a good laugh is always just a moo-ment away…
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