ReportWire

Tag: jokes

  • 60 barbeque puns and jokes for grilling giggles – Growing Family

    [ad_1]

    Get ready to turn up the heat and the humour! This sizzling list of barbeque jokes and puns is packed with tasty one-liners, cheesy grill gags, and clever wordplay that’s perfect for all ages.

    Turn up the heat on humour with this ultimate list of barbeque puns and jokes. Designed for family fun, filled with laughs, and loaded with clever wordplay, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike.

    The best barbeque puns and jokes

    Whether you’re hosting a backyard cookout or just love a good food pun, these BBQ laughs are guaranteed to be well done.

    Funny bbq jokes

    Why should you never barbeque on your roof? The steaks are too high.

    Why are cows scared of cars? They’re afraid they might end up on the grill. (More car puns here)

    Why does BBQ sauce always win the race? Because the other competitors are always plain Ketchup.

    Why did the steak file a police report? It got grilled too hard.

    Why do BBQs make great parties? Because the grill is always lit.

    What did the burger say to the bun? “You complete me.”

    What do you call three Barbies in a line? BBQ.

    Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib. (More skeleton jokes here)

    What do you call fake BBQ? A mis-steak.

    More barbeque jokes

    How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space? It’s a little meteor.

    What’s a librarian’s favourite thing to bring to a BBQ? A shhhhh-kebab.

    Why do BBQs make great friends? They always bring the heat.

    Why was the man at the cookout so happy? He met the grill of his dreams.

    What’s a hot dog’s favourite game? Catch-up.

    What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.

    What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face? Too close for comfort food.

    Why did the steak cross the road? To meat its friends.

    What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese.

    Today my dinner plans were foiled… Potatoes on the BBQ.

    food cooking on a barbecuefood cooking on a barbecue

    Barbeque dad jokes

    I can’t decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs. I guess I’ll just wing it.

    Nobody throws a BBQ as good as me. My record is 21 feet.

    I accidentally burned dinner on the grill. Missteaks were made.

    My grammar may be poor, but my grilling is impeccable. I’d steak my reputation on that.

    For sale: Muhammed Ali DVD set and George Foreman Grill. Both boxed.

    You’re probably familiar with Murphy’s Law, but do you know what Cole’s Law is? It’s a cabbage salad, often served as a side dish at a BBQ.

    Just finished cleaning my grill. It was grate.

    What’s the difference between a dad and a grill? A grill runs out of gas.

    Funny bbq puns

    Having a grill-iant time at the BBQ

    Licence to grill

    This BBQ is smokin’

    Grillin’ and chillin’

    Grill-ty as charged

    Grill power

    You go grill!

    Grill thrill

    So grilled to see you

    Meat me by the grill

    Bun intended

    Sun’s out, buns out

    My happy plate

    Tong in cheek

    Flame game

    Fry me to the moon

    Seariously?

    a person cooking on a barbecuea person cooking on a barbecue

    More BBQ puns captions (perfect for Instagram)

    Fire up the fun

    Feeling grate

    Raise the steaks

    Don’t go bacon my heart

    Don’t brisket

    Mustard up the courage

    Steak it easy

    Steak your claim

    Ketchup with me later

    Things could be wurst

    Weiner takes all

    Relish the opportunity

    This grill has beef with me

    Flippin’ fantastic

    Up in smoke

    This pic is well done

    One last barbeque pun…

    What’s another name for a BBQ pun? A meataphor.

    Great barbeque isn’t just about the food – it’s about the memories you make together. With these family-friendly barbeque puns and jokes, you’ll have everyone smiling from the first spark to the last bite!

    Explore more jokes and puns

    Pin for later: barbeque puns and barbeque jokes

    Turn up the heat on humour with this ultimate list of barbeque puns and jokes. Designed for family fun, filled with laughs, and loaded with clever wordplay, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike. Turn up the heat on humour with this ultimate list of barbeque puns and jokes. Designed for family fun, filled with laughs, and loaded with clever wordplay, these jokes are perfect for kids and adults alike.

    [ad_2]

    Catherine

    Source link

  • 50 Baseball Jokes That Hit It Out of the Park

    [ad_1]

    Baseball, the all American sport, is also great for thinking about the multiple meanings of words and playing around with language. These baseball jokes can be incorporated into morning meeting, ELA, or even math to challenge students. Give them as many at-bats as you can with these 50 jokes!

    We Are Teachers

    FREE DOWNLOAD

    Baseball Jokes Google Slides

    Share all the baseball jokes below with your students using our free Google Slideshow. Just fill out the form on this page to get them.

    Jump to:

    General Baseball Jokes

    Why do baseball games take place at night?

    Because bats sleep during the day.

    Which superhero is the best at baseball?

    Batman.

    How much time did the baseball player spend in the library?

    Five minutes. It was a short stop.

    Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?

    Because she ran away from the ball.

    What did the baseball glove say to the ball?

    Catch ya later!

    Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?

    If he raised both legs, he would fall down.

    What animal is best at baseball?

    A bat!

    Why were there cattle on the ball field?

    They were looking for the bull pen.

    What position does Dracula play on the baseball team? 

    Bat boy.

    Why is a baseball stadium hot after a game?

    Because all the fans have left.

    Where do catchers sit at lunch?

    Behind the plate.

    A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball was getting bigger and bigger.

    Then it hit him.

    Which takes longer: running from first to second base or from second to third base?

    From second to third base, because there is a short stop in the middle.

    Why did the pitcher bring string to the baseball game?

    He wanted to tie the score.

    How many baseball players does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.

    Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC?

    Yankee Stadium.

    What has 18 legs and catches flies?

    A baseball team.

    Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?

    Forget it—it went over your head.

    Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?

    Because someone stole second base.

    Did you hear the one about the fast pitch?

    Never mind, you missed it.

    Baseball Riddles

    What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?

    Pitching like no one has seen.

    A man leaves home, makes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they?

    The catcher and the umpire.

    What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?

    A fence.

    What is the difference between a boy who is late for dinner and a baseball hit over the fence?

    One runs home and the other is a home run.

    Two baseball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team has touched a base. How can this be?

    The teams were all women.

    Baseball Wordplay Jokes

    What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

    One steals watches and one watches steals.

    Where do coal diggers play baseball?

    In the miner leagues.

    When should baseball players wear armor?

    During knight games.

    What is a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie?

    “The Umpire Strikes Back.”

    Why is Dodger Stadium the coolest place to be?

    It is full of fans.

    Where do you keep your mitt while driving?

    In the glove compartment.

    Which baseball player holds water?

    The pitcher.

    Which famous baseball player loved fireplaces?

    Mickey Mantle.

    How do baseball players keep in contact?

    They touch base every once in a while.

    Where does the baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?

    New Jersey.

    Why are frogs good baseball players?

    They are good at catching flies.

    What do baseball players eat on?

    Home plate.

    What do baseball players use to bake a cake?

    Mitts, Bundt pans, and batter.

    Where did the baseball player wash his socks?

    In the bleachers.

    Why can’t you play baseball on the savanna? 

    There are too many cheetahs.

    Which animated character is the best at baseball?

    Homer Simpson.

    What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?

    The swings!

    Why are singers good at baseball?

    Because they have perfect pitch.

    What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?

    A double header.

    Why don’t matches play baseball?

    One strike and they’re out!

    Why did the baseball player shut down his website?

    He wasn’t getting any hits.

    How is baseball like baking?

    They both need a batter.

    Why is it smart to bring a baseball player when you go camping?

    He can pitch the tent.

    What’s a home run hitter’s favorite type of music?

    Swing.

    What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?

    They are both sluggers.

    Get your free baseball jokes Google Slides!

    an image of a computer and ipad screen featuring two baseball jokes slides
    We Are Teachers

    Your students will love these funny baseball jokes for kids! Just fill out the form on this page to grab your free baseball jokes Google Slides.

    Plus, check out these math jokes and puns to keep the laughs coming.

    [ad_2]

    Samantha Cleaver, PhD, Special Ed & Reading Intervention

    Source link

  • 100+ Best Guess What Jokes for Kids

    [ad_1]

    If you were a kid in the 1980s, you know there’s only one right answer to “Guess what?” Chicken butt! Kids today may not know that one, but they still enjoy good Guess What jokes and riddles. Our collection is full of funny quips you can share in the classroom or at home. Plus, we’ve got free slides of all of them to make it easy to share in the classroom!

    We Are Teachers

    FREE DOWNLOAD

    Guess What Jokes for Kids Slideshow

    Grab your free Google Slides to share these witticisms as a Joke of the Day, to kick off class, or as a fun way to fill in a few extra minutes during class. Just fill out the form on this page for instant access.

    Jump to:

    Classic Guess What Chicken Jokes

    These silly jokes were incredibly popular among Gen X kids in the 1980s. Have fun sharing them with a whole new generation.

    Guess what?

    Chicken butt!

    Guess why?

    Chicken thigh!

    Guess where?

    Chicken hair!

    Guess when?

    Chicken hen!

    Guess who?

    Chicken poo!

    Best Guess What Jokes for Kids

    1. Guess what happened when I told the egg a joke?

    It cracked up.

    2. Guess what the ocean said to the shore?

    Nothing—it just waved.

    3. Guess what you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?

    Lazy bones.

    4. Guess what kind of dinosaurs make the best police officers?

    Tricera-cops.

    5. Guess what’s as big as the Golden Gate Bridge but doesn’t weigh anything?

    The Golden Gate Bridge’s shadow.

    6. Guess what one hungry vampire said to the other?

    Let’s grab a bite.

    7. Guess what kind of school surfers go to?

    Boarding school.

    8. Guess what time it is when Godzilla comes to school?

    Time to run!

    9. Guess what school supply is king of the classroom?

    The ruler.

    10. Guess what the triangle said to the circle?

    You’re pointless.

    11. Guess what you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?

    A ferrous wheel.

    12. Guess what a thesaurus eats for breakfast?

    A synonym roll.

    13. Guess what computers do at the end of a long week?

    They crash.

    14. Guess what a hamburger’s favorite day is?

    Fry-day.

    15. Guess what condiments do on the weekend?

    Ketchup on their sleep.

    16. Guess what type of earrings basketball players like to wear?

    Hoops.

    17. Guess what kind of key can’t open doors?

    A tur-key.

    18. Guess what you call a witch at the beach?

    A sand-witch.

    19. Guess what the sweet potatoes said to the corn?

    I yam what I yam!

    20. Guess what has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing?

    A cornfield.

    21. Guess what kind of exams vampires take at school?

    Blood tests.

    Put me in coach.

    23. Guess what one boulder said to the other?

    You rock!

    24. Guess what you call an amazing day on top of a mountain?

    A peak experience.

    25. Guess what you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta.

    26. Guess what state has the most streets?

    Road Island.

    27. Guess what you call cheese that isn’t yours?

    Nacho cheese.

    28. Guess what one wall said to the other?

    Meet you at the corner!

    29. Guess what kind of car an egg drives?

    A Yolkswagen.

    30. Guess what one plate said to the other?

    Dinner’s on me tonight!

    31. Guess what a librarian uses for bait?

    A bookworm.

    32. Guess what the earthquake said after it was over?

    Sorry, my fault!

    Funny Guess Why Jokes for Kids

    33. Guess why the math book became a gardener?

    It had so many roots.

    34. Guess why the pencil quit school?

    It seemed pointless.

    35. Guess why the tomato turned red?

    It saw the salad dressing.

    36. Guess why the scarecrow got an award?

    It was outstanding in its field.

    37. Guess why the banana went to the doctor?

    It wasn’t peeling well.

    38. Guess why the mushroom was always invited to the party?

    Because he’s such a fungi.

    39. Guess why the coffee filed a police report?

    It was mugged.

    40. Guess why the teddy bear didn’t eat at the picnic?

    He was already stuffed.

    41. Guess why the musician broke up with the violin?

    It came with too many strings attached.

    42. Guess why the astronaut broke up with her boyfriend?

    She said she needed some space.

    43. Guess why the broom was always late?

    It over-swept.

    44. Guess why the teacher was wearing a helmet?

    She was teaching a crash course.

    45. Guess why an obtuse angle is always upset?

    It can never be right.

    46. Guess why the math book was sad?

    It had too many problems.

    47. Guess why the music teacher brought a ladder to class?

    To help students reach the high notes.

    48. Guess why you can never trust atoms?

    They make up everything.

    49. Guess why the chemistry teacher never had bad breath?

    Because of all the experi-mints.

    50. Guess why the clock got kicked out of the library?

    It tocked too much.

    51. Guess why pirates can’t learn the alphabet?

    They keep getting lost at C.

    52. Guess why students don’t trust math teachers?

    They’re always plotting something.

    53. Guess why the balloon wouldn’t turn on the radio?

    It was scared of pop music.

    54. Guess why the drum went to bed early?

    It was beat.

    55. Guess why the police showed up at Thanksgiving dinner?

    They heard there had been fowl play.

    56. Guess why ghosts like to be cheerleaders?

    They have so much school spirit.

    They always put their best foot forward.

    58. Guess why the bicycle fell over?

    It was two tired.

    59. Guess why Peter Pan is always flying?

    a navy blue square with light blue, yellow and red pop out graphics with the following guess what joke for kids: Guess why Peter Pan is always flying?

    He can Neverland.

    60. Guess why the roofer went to the doctor?

    He had shingles.

    61. Guess why the doctor went out of business?

    She lost all her patience.

    62. Guess why the golfer brought two pairs of pants?

    In case he got a hole in one.

    Animal Guess Why and Guess What Jokes for Kids

    Love animal jokes? Check out our big roundup here!

    63. Guess why the cat auditioned for the play?

    It wanted to purr-form.

    64. Guess what the spider liked to do on the internet?

    Create web sites.

    65. Guess what’s black and white and red all over at the zoo?

    A sunburned zebra.

    66. Guess what kind of dog can always tell you the correct time?

    A watch dog.

    67. Guess why the snake crossed the road?

    To get to the other ssssssside.

    68. Guess why the oyster refused to share?

    It was feeling shell-fish.

    69. Guess what happened when the frog’s car broke down?

    It got toad away.

    70. Guess what the dog said when he sat on some sandpaper?

    Ruff!

    71. Guess why sharks live in salt water?

    Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

    72. Guess why the snake was on the car?

    It was a windshield viper.

    73. Guess what kind of bird works at a construction site?

    A crane.

    74. Guess why fish are so smart?

    They live in schools.

    75. Guess what the lion said to the wildebeest?

    Pleased to eat you!

    76. Guess what fish only swims at night?

    A starfish.

    77. Guess what you call a puppy with a fever?

    A hot dog.

    78. Guess what makes an elephant float?

    Root beer, ice cream, and an elephant, with a cherry on top.

    79. Guess what you call an alligator that solves mysteries?

    An investi-gator.

    80. Guess why leopards don’t play hide-and-seek?

    They’re always spotted.

    81. Guess what sound porcupines make when they kiss?

    Ouch!

    82. Guess why a fish is easy to weigh?

    It has its own scales.

    Winter Guess What and Why Jokes

    Warm up the chilly months with all of our winter jokes—click here!

    83. Guess what one snowman said to the other?

    Can you smell carrots too?

    84. Guess what snowmen eat for lunch?

    Ice-bergers.

    85. Guess why Frosty went to the middle of the big lake?

    Because snowman’s an island.

    86. Guess why the kid only wore one snow boot?

    There was only a 50% chance of snow.

    87. Guess what’s the best part of school during winter?

    Snow-and-tell.

    Spring Guess What and Why Jokes

    April showers bring springtime giggles! Check out our full collection of spring jokes here.

    88. Guess what the tree did in the spring?

    It turned over a new leaf.

    89. Guess what gardens do in the spring?

    They get May-kovers.

    90. Guess why birds fly north in the spring?

    Because it’s way faster than walking.

    91. Guess what spring said to winter?

    Time to break the ice.

    92. Guess why people are so tired on April 1?

    They just finished a 31-day March!

    Summer Guess What and Why Jokes

    Chill out in summer’s heat with a cool laugh or two. Find all our summer jokes for kids here.

    93. Guess what you call a snowman in summer?

    A puddle.

    94. Guess why basketball players don’t go on summer vacation?

    They’re not allowed to travel.

    95. Guess why the teacher jumped into the swimming pool?

    To test the water.

    96. Guess what you call a sunburned librarian?

    Well red.

    97. Guess why the skeleton wouldn’t dive off the high board at the pool?

    It didn’t have the guts.

    Fall Guess What and Why Jokes

    98. Guess what one autumn leaf said to the other?

    I’m falling for you!

    99. Guess what you use to fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?

    A pumpkin patch.

    100. Guess what happens when winter arrives?

    Autumn leaves.

    101. Guess what fall leaves travel in?

    An autumn-mobile.

    102. Guess why Humpty Dumpty loves autumn?

    He always has a great fall.

    Get your free slides with all of these Guess What jokes for kids!

    an image of a computer and ipad screen featuring guess what jokes for kids Google Slides
    We Are Teachers

    Just enter your information in the form on this page for immediate access to our set of Google Slides. They’re perfect for a Joke of the Day, morning meetings, and time fillers at the end of a lesson or school day!

    Plus, check out 300 Cheesy Dad Jokes Kids Will Love.

    [ad_2]

    Jill Staake, B.S., Secondary ELA Education

    Source link

  • 115 Clever Riddles for High School Students

    [ad_1]

    Good riddles can leave high school students both stumped and laughing. Trying to solve them and find the answer encourages creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving. It’s also a lot of fun! Want to share some riddles with your class? Here’s a list of riddles for high school students to bring some energy to the classroom.

    We Are Teachers

    FREE SLIDES

    Riddles for High School Google Slides

    Bring critical thinking and laughter into your classroom with our free Riddles for High School Google Slides! Just fill out the form on this page to download your copy.

    Jump to:

    Classic Riddles for High School Students

    1. Which month has 28 days?

    All months have 28 days!

    2. What do you break before you use it?

    An egg.

    3. Trees are my home, but I never go inside. When I fall off a tree, I am dead. What am I?

    A leaf.

    4. I have hands, but I cannot shake your hand. I have a face, but I cannot smile at you. What am I?

    A clock.

    5. I have no doors, but I have keys. I have no rooms, but I have space. You can enter, but you cannot leave. What am I?

    A keyboard.

    6. If you drop me on the ground, I survive. But if you drop me in water, I die. What am I?

    Paper.

    7. What has a bottom at the top?

    Your legs.

    8. You can hear me, but you cannot see or touch me. What am I?

    A voice.

    9. What is black and white and read all over?

    A newspaper.

    10. How can a man go for eight days without sleeping?

    He sleeps at night.

    11. You live in a one-story house made entirely of redwood. What color are the stairs?

    There are no stairs—it is a one-story house.

    12. What do you find at the end of a line?

    The letter “e.”

    13. Name three consecutive days that aren’t the days of the week.

    Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

    14. There are two fathers and two sons in a car. How many people are in the car?

    Three people—a grandfather, a father, and a son.

    15. Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it, you die. What is it?

    Nothing.

    16. What five-letter word reads the same right side up and upside down when written in all caps?

    SWIMS.

    17. What has a thumb and fingers but is not alive?

    A glove.

    18. What is full of holes but still holds water?

    A sponge.

    19. A man shaves throughout the day, yet he has a beard. How?

    He is a barber.

    20. What has a head and a tail but no body?

    A coin.

    21. What gets wetter the more it dries?

    A towel.

    22. What has a neck but no head?

    A bottle.

    23. What can’t be kept until it is given?

    A promise.

    24. What goes up but never comes down?

    Your age.

    25. When I am young, I am tall. I grow shorter as I become older. What am I?

    A candle.

    26. What has a mouth but cannot eat and runs but has no legs?

    A river.

    27. What has branches but no leaves or fruits?

    A bank.

    28. What has 13 hearts but no brains?

    A pack of playing cards.

    29. What speaks but has no mouth and reproduces but has no body?

    An echo.

    30. What has no beginning, end, or middle?

    A circle.

    31. What grows bigger the more you take away from it?

    A hole.

    32. What do you place on the table and cut but never eat?

    A pack of playing cards.

    33. What breaks the moment you say its name?

    Silence.

    34. During which month do people sleep the least?

    February—it has the fewest days.

    35. The person who buys me cannot use me, and the person who uses me cannot buy or see me. What am I?

    A coffin.

    36. You can hear me but cannot see me. I don’t speak until you do. What am I?

    An echo.

    37. I am hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. What am I?

    A friend.

    38. I have seas with no water, mountains with no land, and towns with no people. What am I?

    A map.

    39. What can be caught but is impossible to throw?

    A cold.

    40. When you have me, you want to share me. But if you share me, you don’t have me any longer. What am I?

    A secret.

    41. What goes all around the world but stays in one place?

    A stamp.

    42. What has one eye but cannot see?

    A needle.

    43. Everyone has me but nobody can lose me. What am I?

    A shadow.

    44. There was a plane crash and every single person died. Who survived?

    Couples.

    45. What invention lets you look right through a wall?

    A window.

    46. They come out at night without being called and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?

    Stars.

    47. What has four legs but can’t walk?

    A table.

    48. What goes up when rain comes down?

    An umbrella.

    49. I am your mother’s brother’s brother-in-law. Who am I?

    Your father.

    50. What has a tongue but never talks and has no legs but sometimes walks?

    A shoe.

    51. Born in an instant, I tell all stories. I can be lost, but I never die. What am I?

    A memory.

    52. With shiny fangs, my bloodless bite will bring together what’s mostly white. What am I?

    A stapler.

    53. A plane crashed on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors?

    Nowhere—the survivors are alive.

    54. What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left hand?

    Your left hand.

    55. What’s always in front of you but can’t be seen?

    The future.

    56. What can’t bite you even though it has many teeth?

    A comb.

    57. Two boys are born at the same time to the same mother, but they are not twins. How is this possible?

    They’re two triplets.

    58. What is purple and smells exactly like green paint?

    Purple paint.

    59. Veronica’s birthday is on February 3, but her birthday falls in summer. How is that possible?

    She lives in the Southern Hemisphere.

    60. The more of this you encounter, the less you’ll be able to see. What is it?

    Darkness.

    61. I grow richer with alcohol but die with water. What am I?

    Fire.

    Food & Drink Riddles for High School Students

    62. I’m layered and if you peel me, I’ll make you weep. What am I?

    An onion.

    63. You throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?

    Corn on the cob.

    64. My first letter is in chocolate but not in ham. My second letter is in cake and jam, and my third is in tea but not in coffee. What am I?

    A cat.

    65. You are alone at home and sleeping. Your friends ring the doorbell. They have come for breakfast. You have cornflakes, bread, jam, a carton of milk, and a bottle of juice. What will you open first?

    Your eyes.

    66. How can you drop a raw egg from up high onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

    Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

    67. I am made of water, but I die when you put water on me. What am I?

    Ice.

    68. When do you go at red and stop at green?

    While eating a watermelon.

    69. I am a bird, I am a fruit, and I am a person. What am I?

    A kiwi.

    70. I am a fruit with seeds on the outside. What am I?

    A strawberry.

    A gingerbread man.

    Math & Science Riddles for High School Students

    72. If you multiply this number by any other number, the answer will always be the same. What number is it?

    Zero.

    73. An apple is 40 cents, a banana is 60 cents, and a grapefruit is 80 cents. How much is a pear?

    40 cents. The price of each fruit is calculated by multiplying the number of vowels by 20 cents.

    74. Find the number less than 100 that is increased by one-fifth of its value when its digits are reversed.

    45 (1/5*45 = 9, 9+45 = 54)

    75. Which weighs more, a pound of iron bars or a pound of feathers?

    They both weigh the same.

    76. An electric train is traveling from east to west, and the wind is blowing from north to south. In which direction does the smoke go?

    None—electric trains don’t produce smoke.

    77. It is lighter than a feather, but you can’t hold it for more than two minutes. What is it?

    Your breath.

    78. I can fill up a room but take no space. What am I?

    Light.

    79. I am easy to lift but hard to throw. What am I?

    A feather.

    80. I am smooth as silk and can be hard or soft. I fall but cannot climb. What am I?

    Rain.

    81. If you are running a race and you pass the person who is running second, which position are you in?

    Second.

    82. Forwards I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?

    Ton.

    83. I can be hot, I can be cold, I can run, I can be still, I can be hard, and I can be soft. What am I?

    Water.

    84. Feed it and it will live. Give it water and it will die. What is it?

    Fire.

    85. Born in the ocean and white as snow, when I fall back to water I disappear without a trace. What am I?

    Salt.

    86. What can eat a lot of iron without getting sick?

    Rust.

    87. A word I know, six letters it contains. Remove one letter and 12 remain. What is it?

    Dozens.

    Animal Riddles

    88. A woman builds a house with all four walls facing south. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?

    White. It is a polar bear since this must be the North Pole if all walls face south.

    89. I have a head like a cat and feet like a cat, but I am not a cat. What am I?

    A kitten.

    90. A farmer walks toward his field and he sees three frogs sitting on the shoulders of two rabbits. Three parrots and four mice run toward him. How many pairs of legs are going toward the field?

    One pair—the farmer’s.

    91. How do you spell “cow” in 13 letters?

    CEE O DOUBLE YOU.

    92. What jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?

    A kangaroo.

    93. I sleep by day and fly at night, but I have no feathers to aid my flight. What am I?

    A bat.

    94. I am an animal named after the animal that I eat. What am I?

    Anteater.

    95. My wings are used as flippers, so in water I can swim. Sometimes when on land I slide on my belly in the snow. What am I?

    A penguin.

    96. The strangest creature you’ll ever find: two eyes in front and many more behind. What am I?

    A peacock.

    School & Learning Riddles for High School Students

    97. How many books can you pack inside an empty backpack?

    One. It is no longer empty after that.

    98. What is the longest word in the dictionary?

    Smiles, because there is a mile between each “s.”

    99. Where does divorce come before marriage?

    In the dictionary.

    100. What starts with a P and ends with an X and has hundreds of letters in between?

    A postbox.

    101. What can be found at the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, and the beginning of every end?

    The letter “e.”

    102. What vehicle is a palindrome?

    Racecar.

    103. There is only one word spelled wrong in the dictionary. What is it?

    W-R-O-N-G.

    104. What begins with T, finishes with T, and has T in it?

    A teapot.

    105. What gets sharper the more you use it?

    Your brain.

    106. Which English word has three consecutive double letters?

    Bookkeeper.

    107. What becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

    The word “short.”

    108. What can you find in a minute or an hour but never in a day or a month?

    The letter “u.”

    109. What is the only English word with “ii” in it?

    Skiing.

    110. What is the only English word with “uu” in it?

    Vacuum.

    111. Kate’s mother has four daughters: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and _____. What is the name of the fourth daughter?

    Kate.

    Holiday & Seasonal Riddles

    A gingerbread man.

    113. I am opened each day and have many doors. Inside each is a small surprise. What am I?

    An advent calendar.

    114. I’m covered before I’m seen and torn open to be used. What am I?

    A wrapped present.

    115. I arrive at midnight without footsteps, and my first act is to change every calendar. What am I?

    New Year’s Day.

    Get your free Riddles for High School Students Google Slides!

    an image of a computer and ipad screen featuring riddles for high school students with two example slides
    We Are Teachers

    Ready to challenge your high school students with clever, brain-twisting riddles? Grab these free Google Slides by filling out the form on this page!

    Share your favorite riddles for high school students in our We Are Teachers HELPLINE group on Facebook!

    For more laughs, check out our favorite grammar jokes and science jokes!

    [ad_2]

    Jeanne Croteau, M.S., Psychology, Master TEFL Certified

    Source link

  • Norm Macdonald Jokes That Prove He Was One of the Best Ever

    [ad_1]

    Norm Macdonald always played the long game.

    He was never chasing applause or looking to land a quick punchline. He trusted the joke, his delivery, and trusted that if you were paying attention, you’d get there with him.

    He’s a legend in the art form.

    That’s why other comedians revered him. Norm zigged when everyone else zagged, dragged jokes out until they became absurd, and somehow made the dumbest ideas feel smart, and the smartest jokes feel effortless.

    These jokes are a reminder of why Norm is still held up as a comedian’s comedian, as timeless and funny as ever.

    [ad_2]

    Ty

    Source link

  • Bo Burnham is Funny

    [ad_1]

    Bo Burnham is one of those rare comedians where every layer of what he does is a joke; the writing, the timing, the meta-commentary, and even the discomfort. He’s funny in ways most comedians aren’t even trying to be.

    He’s also interesting. He plays a character… which is also himself… whish is also a parody of himself.

    He’s always juggling between the persona, the real guy, the critique of the persona, and the critique of the critique.

    His comedy is very layered. It can be a mix of very funny but then also thought-provoking. He mixes high IQ and low IQ humor effortlessly, which makes his performance a rollercoaster — never quite sure what to expect.

    Bo Burnham is very original and his musical comedy encompasses all of these elements. I highly recommend watching Inside or Make Happy (both on Netflix) or any of his OG stuff on his YouTube channel.

    His musical jokes are too tough to transfer into visuals, but these snappy one-liners work just fine.

    Have at it:

    [ad_2]

    Ty

    Source link

  • 100 Friday Jokes for Kids To Start the Weekend Off Right

    [ad_1]

    Is there any better feeling than when Friday finally arrives? No matter how much you love teaching and learning, everybody loves getting a couple days off. These Friday jokes will help you and your students count down the moments until everyone is free at last! (At least until Monday rears its ugly head once again. …)

    We Are Teachers

    FREE DOWNLOAD

    Friday Jokes Google Slides

    Our free slides make it easy to share these jokes with your students! Just enter your info in the form on this page for immediate access to the full set.

    Jump to:

    Friday Jokes About School

    1. Why did the student bring a ladder to school on Friday?

    Because it was the last step before the weekend.

    2. What’s a teacher’s favorite day of the week?

    Fri-yay.

    3. Why shouldn’t tests happen on Fridays?

    Because even questions need a break.

    4. What did the pencil say on Friday?

    “I’m totally drawn out!”

    5. Why was the math book happy on Friday?

    It finally solved all its problems.

    6. Why did the kid eat his homework on Friday?

    Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

    7. How do you know the school week is over?

    Students start smiling again.

    8. Why was the ruler so excited on Friday?

    It finally measured up to the weekend.

    9. Why did the student toss a clock out the window on Friday?

    She wanted to see time fly.

    10. What’s a teacher’s favorite part of Friday?

    Recess for everyone—including them!

    11. Why was the computer so tired on Friday?

    It had too many tabs open all week.

    12. What did the computer plan to do over the weekend?

    Crash.

    13. Why did the eraser celebrate Friday?

    It made all the week’s mistakes disappear.

    14. What did the backpack say on Friday afternoon?

    “Let’s pack it up!”

    15. Why did the student cross the playground on Friday?

    To slide into the weekend.

    16. Why did the school bell get promoted on Friday?

    It always rings in good news.

    17. What did the art teacher say on Friday?

    “Let’s paint the town!”

    18. Why was the science lab so happy on Friday?

    It finally got a reaction.

    19. Why is Friday your laptop’s favorite day?

    It gets to sleep through the weekend.

    20. Why did the dull pencil leave early on Friday?

    Sticking around felt pointless.

    21. Why is it so hard to get an appointment at the library on Friday?

    It’s always booked up.

    22. What does it mean when you arrive late to school for the fifth time this week?

    That it’s Friday!

    23. Why did the student bring a ruler to class on Friday?

    To find out how long until the weekend.

    24. Why did the student put their homework in the freezer on Friday?

    They wanted to chill over the weekend.

    Weekend Countdown Friday Jokes

    25. What’s Friday’s favorite exercise?

    The weekend stretch.

    26. Why did the calendar look forward to Friday?

    Because it had a date with the weekend.

    27. Why do people love Fridays so much?

    Because they come with a side of weekend.

    28. What do you call Friday afternoon?

    Saturday Eve.

    29. Why did the kid dance on Friday?

    Because the weekend’s got the beat.

    30. How does Friday stay cool?

    By hanging out in the weekend breeze.

    31. What’s Friday’s favorite subject?

    Recess!

    32. What’s the shortest day of the week?

    Friday—because time flies when you’re having fun!

    33. Why were the chefs so happy on Friday?

    Because they could smell the weekend cooking.

    34. Why did the kid call Friday “Magic Day”?

    Because homework disappears on Friday.

    35. What do you call a Friday that comes after a long week?

    A miracle.

    36. Why was the traffic light late for its Friday night date?

    It took too long to change.

    37. Why should you ride a roller coaster on Friday?

    To coast into the wheeeee!-kend.

    Animal Friday Jokes

    38. What did the dog say on Friday?

    “Finally, paw-ty time!”

    39. Why do fish get sad on Fridays?

    There’s no school on weekends.

    40. What do cows do on Friday night?

    Go to the mooo-vies!

    41. What do birds do on Fridays?

    Tweet about their weekend plans.

    42. Why do horses love Fridays?

    Because it’s neigh-ver too early to celebrate.

    43. What’s a frog’s favorite part of Friday?

    The leap to the weekend.

    44. What do cats do on Friday night?

    Watch a meow-vie marathon.

    45. Why was the turtle excited for Friday?

    It was ready to shell-ebrate.

    46. What do elephants do on Friday nights?

    Pack their trunks for weekend trips.

    47. What’s a flounder’s least favorite day of the week?

    Fry-day!

    48. Why do baby birds wait until the end of the week to leave the nest?

    It’s fly-day!

    49. What do penguins do on Friday?

    Slide into Saturday.

    50. Why did the cow dance on Friday?

    It was in the moo-d.

    51. What do squirrels do on Fridays?

    They go nuts!

    Food and Drink Friday Jokes

    52. Why did the pizza get a promotion on Friday?

    It delivered all week.

    53. What’s a hamburger’s favorite day?

    Fries-day.

    54. Why was the fruit upset on Friday night?

    It had a bad date.

    55. What did the salad say on Friday?

    “Lettuce celebrate!”

    56. Why did the banana smile on Friday?

    It was peeling great!

    57. What did the french fries say to the ketchup on Friday?

    “Want to go for a dip this weekend?”

    58. Why do donuts love Fridays?

    Because they’re hole-hearted about weekends.

    59. What’s Friday’s favorite breakfast?

    Friday-ggs and ham.

    60. What type of pasta is best for Friday the 13th?

    Fettuccine Afraid-o.

    61. Why did the bread cheer on Friday?

    It was toast-ing the weekend.

    62. What kind of dessert should you serve on Friday the 13th?

    I scream.

    63. What do condiments do on the weekend?

    Ketchup on their sleep.

    It had a really crumby week.

    65. What did the burrito say to the gyro on Friday?

    “That’s a wrap on this week!”

    Knock-Knock Jokes About Friday

    66. Knock knock. Who’s there? Weekend. Weekend who?

    Weekend totally sleep in tomorrow!

    67. Knock knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who?

    Gladys almost the weekend!

    68. Knock knock. Who’s there? A herd. A herd who?

    A herd it’s Friday, so let’s party!

    69. Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who?

    Noah good movie we can watch on Friday night?

    70. Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who?

    Orange you glad it’s Friday?

    More Friday Jokes for Kids

    71. Why was the car excited for Friday?

    It could finally take a brake.

    72. Why did the ghost love Friday?

    Because it was a boo-tiful day.

    73. What did the calendar say on Friday night?

    “I’m booked for fun!”

    74. Why did the lamp get excited on Friday?

    It was ready to light up the weekend.

    75. What did the shoes say on Friday?

    “Let’s kick back!”

    76. Why did the bike stop on Friday?

    It was two tired!

    77. When does Monday feel better than Friday?

    Never.

    78. What’s Friday’s favorite bedtime story?

    “The Little Weekend That Could!”

    79. What did Friday say to Saturday and Sunday when they were about to give up?

    “Weekend do it!”

    80. Why did the balloon giggle on Friday?

    Because it was feeling lighthearted.

    81. What kind of music does Friday love?

    Pop—because it’s ready to burst into the weekend.

    82. What does the ocean do on Friday?

    Wave goodbye to the week.

    83. Where does Friday come before Thursday?

    In the dictionary.

    84. What does a watch do on the weekend?

    It unwinds.

    85. Why don’t people like jokes about Friday?

    Because their sense of humor is week.

    86. What will ruin your Friday?

    Finding out it’s only Tuesday.

    87. When does Jason Voorhees wear a T-shirt and shorts with his hockey mask?

    On Casual Friday the 13th.

    88. Why did the drum go to bed early on Friday?

    It was beat.

    89. What do cavemen like to do on Friday nights?

    Go clubbing.

    90. Why wasn’t Friday serious about anything?

    It was a casual Friday.

    91. Why did the iron sneak out early on Friday?

    It ran out of steam.

    92. What did Friday say to Saturday?

    “I’ve been waiting all week to meet you!”

    93. Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week?

    Because Monday through Friday are weak days.

    94. Why does the ice cube love Fridays?

    It’s time to chill.

    95. What do biologists wear to work on casual Fridays?

    Genes.

    96. Why was Friday always invited to parties?

    Because it brought the weekend with it.

    97. Why wasn’t the skeleton excited about the party Friday night?

    He had no body to go with.

    98. Where does Lancelot go to dance on Fridays?

    A knight club.

    99. What did the tree say when Friday finally arrived?

    “What a re-leaf!”

    100. How does every Friday end?

    With a “y.”

    Be sure to download your free Friday Jokes Google Slides!

    an image of a computer screen and ipad screen feature two Friday joke slides
    We Are Teachers

    Click the button and enter your email address in the form on this page for instant access to our entire set of free Friday Jokes slides, full of Friday humor that’s perfect for kids of all ages.

    Plus, check out Cheesy Dad Jokes Kids Will Love!

    [ad_2]

    Jill Staake, B.S., Secondary ELA Education

    Source link

  • 120 Entertaining Riddles for Kids of All Ages (Answers Included)

    [ad_1]

    Ready for some brain-teasing fun? Get your students thinking (and laughing) with this great list of riddles for kids. We’ve got easy ones for younger kids, plus some downright tricky hard riddles (with answers!) for older students. Plus, find riddles about animals, math, science, and some that are just for fun!

    Jump to:

    We Are Teachers

    FREE SLIDES

    Riddles for Kids Google Slides

    Grab these free Google Slides that make it easy to share these riddles with your students! Just enter your information in the form on this page for instant access.

    Easy Riddles for Kids (K-3)

    These riddles involve a little wordplay and logic, but the answers are fairly straightforward. They’ll challenge younger students but won’t feel downright impossible.

    1. What has a head and tail but no body?

    riddle for kids: What has a head and tail but no body?

    A coin.

    2. What goes up and down but doesn’t move?

    A staircase.

    3. What has a neck but no head?

    A bottle.

    4. What has many teeth but can’t bite?

    A comb.

    5. I have a face and hands but no legs. What am I?

    A clock.

    6. What has a ring but no finger?

    A telephone.

    7. What gets wetter when it dries?

    A towel.

    8. What has to be broken before you can eat it?

    An egg.

    9. What has words but never speaks?

    A book.

    10. What is always coming but never arrives?

    Tomorrow.

    11. What month of the year has 28 days?

    All months have at least 28 days.

    12. What is always answered without being questioned?

    A doorbell.

    13. What has legs but cannot walk?

    A stool.

    14. What has a thumb and four fingers but is not alive?

    A glove.

    15. What two things can you never eat for breakfast?

    Lunch and dinner.

    16. What goes up but never comes down?

    Age.

    17. What is used by others but only belongs to you?

    Your name.

    18. Where will you find Friday before Thursday?

    In a dictionary.

    19. What can you catch but not throw?

    A cold.

    20. What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

    Your right elbow.

    21. Bobby’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle, and ___?

    Bobby.

    22. What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never thinks, and has a bed but never sleeps?

    A river.

    23. What gets bigger the more you take away?

    A hole.

    24. If you threw a black stone into the Red Sea, what would it become?

    Wet.

    25. What four-letter word can be written the same forward and backward, as well as upside down?

    NOON.

    26. What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

    The future.

    27. What’s black and white and read all over?

    A newspaper.

    28. What has keys but opens no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in?

    A keyboard.

    29. When the water comes down, I go up. What am I?

    An umbrella.

    Hard Riddles for Kids (Grades 4-6)

    As kids get older, they can tackle more challenging brainteasers that require a little more knowledge. This roundup of hard riddles (with answers) is perfect for pushing them to think creatively!

    30. What begins with “p,” ends with “e,” and has thousands of letters?

    The post office.

    31. I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. What am I?

    A barber.

    32. I am easy to lift but hard to throw. What am I?

    A feather.

    33. I will fill a room but take up no space. What am I?

    Light.

    34. I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

    Your breath.

    35. Everyone has one, but no one can lose it. What is it?

    A shadow.

    36. If you don’t keep me, I’ll break. What am I?

    A promise.

    37. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?

    Footsteps.

    38. What loses a head in the morning, but gets it back at night?

    A pillow.

    39. What would you call a man who does not have all fingers on one hand?

    Normal, because humans have fingers on both hands.

    She was standing on the bottom rung.

    41. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?

    Zero. Noah took them.

    42. Amy threw the ball as hard as she could and it came back to her, without anything or anyone touching it. How?

    She threw the ball upward into the air.

    43. What has one eye but can’t see?

    A needle.

    44. You walk into a room that has a match, a candle, and a fireplace. Which should you light first?

    The match.

    45. A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed for three nights and rode out on Friday. How is this possible?

    His horse’s name is Friday.

    46. A woman called her horse from the opposite side of a river. The horse crossed the river without getting wet and without using a boat or bridge. How?

    The river was frozen.

    47. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

    The letter “m.”

    48. You see a boat filled with people. It has not sunk, but when you look again, you don’t see a single person on the boat. Why not?

    They’re all married.

    49. What comes at the end of everything?

    The letter “g.”

    50. What is so fragile that saying its name will make it break?

    Silence.

    51. What has many keys but cannot unlock a single door?

    riddle for kids: What has many keys but cannot unlock a single door?

    A piano.

    Very Hard Riddles for Kids (Grades 7+)

    These super-tricky riddles are bound to stump at least some of your students. They’ll need a strong vocabulary and the ability to think flexibly about the words involved. Don’t worry—these are very hard riddles, but we’ve provided the answers too!

    52. What English word has three consecutive double letters?

    Bookkeeper.

    53. What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

    Short.

    54. What word begins and ends with “e” but only has one letter?

    Envelope.

    55. You won’t see me at all in March, May, or January, but catch me once in June and twice in November. What am I?

    The letter “e.”

    56. Which word in the dictionary is always spelled incorrectly?

    Incorrectly.

    57. What 7-letter word is spelled the same backward and forward?

    Racecar.

    58. I start with “t,” end with “t,” and have “t” in me. What am I?

    A teapot.

    59. Kids can make it but never hold it or see it. What is it?

    Noise.

    60. I go around the world but never leave the corner. What am I?

    A stamp.

    61. My life is measured in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?

    A candle.

    62. Is it possible for a woman to go 10 days without sleeping?

    Yes, she will sleep at night.

    63. Three men jump into the water, but only two come out with wet hair. Why?

    The third man is bald.

    64. If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it?

    A secret.

    65. People buy me to eat, but I cannot be eaten. What am I?

    A plate.

    66. In a single-story house, there is a green chair, green bed, green computer, green couch, green flowers, green carpet, and green table. What color is the staircase?

    There is no staircase—it’s a single-story house.

    67. What has holes all over but still holds water?

    A sponge.

    68. What question can you never answer yes to?

    riddle for kids: What question can you never answer yes to?

    Are you asleep yet?

    Animal Riddles for Kids

    These silly but fun riddles are all about animals—and kids love animals! Try these brainteasers with kids of any age. Plus, check out 101 Hoot-larious Animal Jokes and 40 Paws-itively Hilarious Dog Jokes for Kids.

    69. What happens when a sheep studies karate?

    Lamb chops.

    70. My teddy bear is never hungry. Why?

    He’s stuffed.

    71. Which fish costs the most?

    A goldfish.

    72. What two keys cannot open any doors?

    Monkey and donkey.

    73. What’s a frog’s favorite game?

    Leapfrog.

    74. How do you catch a school of fish?

    With a bookworm.

    75. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

    An elephant’s shadow.

    76. What is it called when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal?

    A dino-score.

    77. Who wears shoes while sleeping?

    A horse.

    Math Riddles for Kids

    These riddles put a clever spin on the usual word problem—by playing around with words! Want more math laughs? Try these 125 math jokes and puns for kids!

    78. I add 5 to 9 and get 2. The answer is correct, so what am I?

    A clock. When it is 9 a.m., adding 5 hours would make it 2 p.m.

    79. Which number stays the same no matter what number you multiply it with?

    0.

    80. An electric train is heading east at 400 mph. How fast will the smoke blow?

    Electric trains do not produce smoke.

    81. How many times can you subtract 10 from 25?

    Once. After you subtract 10 from 25 the first time, it becomes 15.

    82. What are eight 8s that add up to 1,000?

    8 + 8 + 8 + 88 + 888 = 1,000.

    83. Rachel goes to the supermarket and buys 10 tomatoes. Unfortunately, on the way back home, all but 9 get ruined. How many tomatoes are left in good condition?

    9.

    84. When my father was 30 years old, I was 9 years old. Now I am 40 years old, so what is my father’s age now?

    61.

    85. How do you make the number 7 even without adding, subtracting, multiplying, or dividing?

    Delete the “S.”

    86. What comes before 11 and after 15?

    10 and 16.

    87. When Rebecca was 8 years old, her little brother, Bob, was half her age. If Rebecca is 20 years old today, how old is Bob?

    16.

    88. What can you put between 4 and 5 so that the result is more than 4 but less than 5?

    A decimal.

    89. If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?

    9.

    90. When is 1500 plus 20 and 1600 minus 40 the same thing?

    When it’s military time.

    Science Riddles for Kids

    These riddles are the perfect formula for fun. Keep the science laughs going with these 125 Cheesy Science Jokes.

    91. What is made of water but if you put it into water, it will die?

    An ice cube.

    92. The more of this there is, the less you can see. What is it?

    Darkness.

    93. What is at the end of a rainbow?

    The letter “w.”

    94. I’m not in Venus or Neptune, but you can find me in Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, and Uranus. What am I?

    The letter “r.”

    95. I have no life, but I can die. What am I?

    A battery.

    96. What has a heart that doesn’t beat?

    An artichoke.

    97. What has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water?

    A map.

    98. What comes down but never goes up?

    Rain.

    99. What has many needles but does no sewing?

    A pine tree.

    100. I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have lungs, but I need air; I don’t have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?

    Fire.

    Funny Riddles for Kids

    These brainteasers will make kids think … and laugh! Find 128 more funny riddles here.

    101. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?

    The “c.”

    102. What kind of room has no walls, doors, or windows?

    A mushroom.

    103. What building has the most stories?

    A library.

    104. How do you make the word “one” disappear?

    Add a “g” in front and it’s gone!

    105. What game is dangerous for your mental health?

    Marbles—you don’t want to lose them.

    106. Where do you take a sick boat?

    To the dock-tor.

    107. Why did the golfer put on a second pair of pants?

    Because he got a hole in one.

    He wanted his quarterback.

    109. How do shells get around the ocean?

    A taxi crab.

    110. Imagine you are trapped in a closet with a locked door. How will you get out?

    Stop imagining.

    111. What did the sea say to the sand?

    Nothing, it just waved.

    112. What is the fastest way to double your money?

    Place it in front of a mirror.

    113. If a red house is made with red bricks, a blue house is made with blue bricks, and an orange house is made with orange bricks, what is a greenhouse made of?

    Usually glass, so plants can grow more easily.

    114. What has a bottom at the top?

    Your legs.

    115. What invention lets you look right through a wall?

    A window.

    116. When things go wrong, what can you always count on?

    Your fingers.

    117. What always tastes better than it smells?

    Your tongue.

    118. Ari asked different people the same question all day long. Each person gave him a different answer, but each one was correct. What was the question?

    What time is it?

    119. What is the richest nut?

    The cash-ew.

    120. What do you call the father of fruits?

    Papa-ya.

    121. How many seconds are in a year?

    12: January 2, February 2, March 2 …

    Download your free Riddles for Kids Google Slides now!

    an image of a computer and ipad screen featuring google slides of riddles for kids
    We Are Teachers

    If you loved our riddles for kids, click the button below and fill out the form on this page to receive your own copy. They’re perfect for classroom giggles!

    Plus, 125 Cheesy Teacher Jokes That Make Us Laugh Out Loud.

    [ad_2]

    Jeanne Croteau, M.S., Psychology, Master TEFL Certified

    Source link

  • Scottish comic Kevin Bridges picks quite the time for his American debut – Houston Press

    [ad_1]

    “At least people need a laugh right now,” the Scottish joker Kevin Bridges sighs when asked why he chose now to make his North American debut.

    “I always considered coming over,” Bridges continues. “I even joked about it a bit on stage on the timing of coming to the US. But usually, I think comedy thrives in times like this when people need some escapism. I give my take as an outsider, and it seems to be well received, so it is fertile ground for comedy with everything that is going on in your country.”

    After 20 years in the business of joke telling, the 38-year-old Bridges has truly reached high highs in the comedy industry of his native United Kingdom.

    “Part of why I came to the state is I’m not that known here,” the warm-voiced comic explains, hyping up his single night at Cullen Performance Hall on Saturday, Nov 8. “So in a way it is quite good to not have immense pressure, where as in the UK, I’m playing in arenas with 10,000 or 11,000 people. It can be hard to improvise. But over here, the venues can be like 800 to 1000.”

    “So for me,” he continues, “it’s a bit like going back in time. But what is good is I have the experience and I can go back to enjoying these slightly smaller rooms, and the show is much more live because I’m trying things out and experimenting. I’m enjoying the fresh crowds and the challenge of being in a brand new country with my own take on everything.”

    While Bridges has proven to be a smash on social media, he prepares the audience to prepare for his thick accent and rapid fire delivery. “The audience is probably initially taken aback by my accent,” he admits. “I’ve tried to soften it a little bit, but not be a fraud. The Scottish people are probably like, ‘why is he talking like that – is he taking elocution lessons?’

    “The challenges have made me, forgive the cliché, really appreciate stand up again: the idea of getting an idea during the day and trying it out at night. American audiences have been very enthusiastic and receptive.”

    YouTube video

    Describing his perspective is tough for the young comic, but he essentially breaks his act along the lines of two types of bits. “My comic style, I try to keep it fairly topical, fairly current – and also personal stuff. I’m always talking about whatever is going on in the world, and also my own life. I started at 17, and I used to talk about being a teenager and being overweight. I lost weight, and my whole life has been documented through stand up. I’m a father to a 4-year-old, and I’m a husband approaching 40.“

    While many U.K. comics approach their stand-up specials from the foundations closer to the one-person show, Bridges sets expectations that this show at least will be closer to traditional stand-up, with bits on all subjects open to him. “I try to find funny angles, I don’t say I need to have a comedy routine about this subject,” he explains. ”Instead, I have this joke about deodorant, so that finds it way into the show. I have a funny joke about my son. So I find the jokes, and I place them. Certainly a theme or overarching narrative begins, [but] it’s trial and error where I work it out in comedy clubs, and there’s an hour or so of stuff coming together, a fairly organic product.”

    One unique distinction that 90 percent of touring headliners might envy, but Bridges has the rare distinction of having had his filmed stand-up specials released in movie theaters. “That’s right, seeing your face up in the cinemas was pretty exciting,” he says of the thrill that few American comics beyond Eddie Murphy or Kevin Hart have had in America. “It was pretty well received, and it was totally different rather than just release it as a [streaming] special.

    YouTube video

    “I think it’s only when you are going to the cinema do you remember how fun going to the cinema is. We’re so saturated by all these streaming services, last night me and my wife say down and are just browsing and browsing for hours – but don’t watch anything! There’s something about going to the cinema and somebody else has decided what you are watching for the night that takes the pressure off!”

    An underrated element too is how much funnier a comic play in a room full of people, be they at a live concert or in the cinema. “People who went, some admitted to being a little anxious since COVID to be going to live events, but they really enjoyed this kind of happy medium where they are still with people, but much smaller setting to see it in this communal experience.”

    YouTube video

    In some ways, this return to smaller venues for Bridges has been like a wish-fulfillment. With the pressure lifted, he discovered his perfect environment for stand up comedy. “When you’re on the way up and you’re playing venues that size, there is a lot of pressure. But as you say, looking back, I don’t know if I enjoyed that stage in my career. So getting back to that experience and actually taking it in? I think between 1,000 and 2,000 is actually the perfect size for stand up. When it gets bigger, it can still be good – but 1,000-2,000 is really that sweet spot.”

    While this North American leg has taken the Scott all over, he’s doing more than bringing laughs – he’s checking off American bucket list items left and right.

    Here’s Bridges Top 4 To-Dos:

    1. Texas-Sized Meal: “I have done BBQ in Austin, Texas and it was 91 degrees. So before the show, I think I gave myself sunstroke and gout in one go.”

    2. Meet an American Icon: “The other [night], there was Steve Van Zandt, from Bruce Springsteen’s band and The Sopranos. My agent has seen them 3 or 4 times, so I would like to walk over and say hello and what a huge fan I am. So meeting Steve Van Zandt was immediately on the bucket list.”

    3. Witness an American Past Time Up Close: “I would quite like to see any American sport, go and watch something live. Basketball? Baseball?”

    4. Test His Endurance: “The Hollywood sign! I don’t know if I can put up with the traffic just to see something. But [if I hike it], I’ll just collapse onstage. Pretty hard to balance being a good tourist and being there for the audience.”

    Bridges performs on Saturday, November 8 at 7:30 p.m. at Cullen Performance Hall, 4300 University. For more information, visit cph.evenue.net. $46-69

    [ad_2]

    Vic Shuttee

    Source link

  • 50 great fire puns and fire jokes to spark giggles – Growing Family

    [ad_1]

    Ready to heat things up with some laughter? These family-friendly fire puns are sure to spark smiles for kids and adults alike!

    Ignite some family fun with these hilarious fire puns and jokes! Packed with clever wordplay and guaranteed laughs, this collection is perfect for kids, parents, or anyone who loves a good giggle. Share them around the campfire or at home and watch the smiles blaze!

    The best fire puns and fire jokes

    Whether you’re gathered around a campfire or just looking to brighten your day, this collection of fire jokes will ignite plenty of giggles.

    Funny fire jokes

    What do you call a woman who puts her credit car statements straight in the fire? Bernadette.

    I bought a friend a fire extinguisher. He was de-lighted.

    What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames? A blazer.

    Someone threw my ’70s records on the fire. It was a disco inferno.

    Which English king invented the fireplace? Alfred The Grate.

    A bread factory caught fire the other day. Now their business is toast.

    Did you hear about the French cheese factory that caught fire? All that was left was da brie.

    bonfire in woodlandbonfire in woodland

    More great jokes on fire

    What happens when wildfire tells you a joke? You get burned.

    I searched online for something to light a fire. It said, “No matches found.”

    Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

    I watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. It was sole destroying.

    What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire? A toasty ghosty. (more ghost puns here)

    Did you hear about the man who set pastries on fire? He was a self-proclaimed pie-ro-maniac.

    What did the firefighter say when she saw the church on fire? “Holy smoke!”

    Jokes about fire

    What did the flame say to his friends after he fell in love? “I found the perfect match!”

    What is fire to a pyrotechnic? Just a warm-up.

    Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intents.

    Why did the match’s house party end in flames? It was lit.

    What’s a flame thrower’s favourite movie? Fast and Fiery-ous.

    What do you call a pirate that likes to set things on fire? An Arrrrsonist.

    toasting marshmallows over a bonfiretoasting marshmallows over a bonfire

    The best fire puns

    Fire away!

    I’m on fire today

    A burning question

    It’s lit

    Feeling burnt out

    Spark a conversation

    Where there’s smoke, there’s fire

    The sparks really flew

    Don’t play with fire

    Fanning the flames

    A hot topic

    Simply un-fire-gettable

    Feeling the burn

    A heated argument

    burning logsburning logs

    More puns about fire

    I’m stoked

    Hot stuff

    You set my heart on fire

    Too hot to handle

    Blaze a trail

    All fired up

    Feeling hot, hot, hot

    Light my fire

    Light it up

    Fight fire with fire

    Fire in my belly

    I’ve met my match

    A match made in heaven

    Flame and fortune

    These fire puns are lit

    One last fire pun…

    My grandfather always said, “Fight fire with fire.” He was a great man, but a terrible firefighter.

    From campfires to cosy nights in, these fire jokes are guaranteed to keep the laughter burning bright. Share them with your family, friends, or anyone who loves a good pun – a spark of humour can light up any moment!

    More fun jokes and puns

    Pin for later: fire puns and fire jokes

    Ignite some family fun with these hilarious fire puns and jokes! Packed with clever wordplay and guaranteed laughs, this collection is perfect for kids, parents, or anyone who loves a good giggle. Share them around the campfire or at home and watch the smiles blaze!

    [ad_2]

    Catherine

    Source link

  • No Joke: Experts Say You Shouldn’t Be Funny at Work

    [ad_1]

    There’s always one office joker, isn’t there? The person who can reliably stump up a pun like “I got a career through learning lock picking. It’s opened up so many doors…” when you need a pick-me-up on a humdrum work day. But according to a new report from marketing and management academics — experts who study humor in the workplace — you need to be careful if you’re in the habit of being funny at the office. Because it might backfire, and much of the time the effort isn’t worth the payoff.

    The researchers, from the Universities of Colorado, Arizona, and Melbourne, Australia, write in Phys.org advising that their research, as well as a “growing body of work by other scholars,” shows that it’s actually much harder to be genuinely funny than people think. And in a workplace setting, the downside of a joke landing badly may be larger than the upside you’d get from telling a real corker. 

    One big issue, the researchers point out, is that for a joke to be funny, it has to break certain social rules while simultaneously seeming harmless: jokes that are too lame “get yawns,” but jokes that violate too many rules may end up “triggering outrage.” Landing a joke is hard enough in a comedy club, they note, but in an office environment, the “razor-thin line” between hilarity and upset “becomes even harder to walk,” and what makes one colleague laugh may cross a line for someone else.

    All of this makes great common sense, of course. We all know that shifting social norms mean that some jokes thought funny and clean enough for the TV shows of yesteryear can make us cringe today. Meanwhile, the currents of today’s social norms are blowing in some challenging directions at the moment, meaning edgy jokes may be even more out of place. And while dirty jokes can work well among friends in a bar at night, they really don’t belong in the office because they dance right on that “razor-thin line” of distastefulness. 

    So what’s the problem with telling jokes at work? 

    The report highlights one issue, for example: the difference between women telling jokes and men — simply because women face “harsher backlash than men for behavior seen as offensive or norm-violating,” meaning the impact of trying but failing to be funny may be bigger for women. 

    And while some evidence shows funny managers were seen as having more confidence and being more competent, if their jokes flop, then their their status and credibility can take a hit. Worse, bad jokes can make staff lose trust and respect for a manager, harming their ability to give out advice. This may have bigger business impacts than you realize, as a recent report showing how much staff rely on middle-level managers proves. Plus bosses who are known to be jokers can risk pushing their staff into a position where they feel they have to act amused, even if the jokes are reliably bad. This can sap workers’ energy, sour the working atmosphere and even increase burnout.

    If this sounds like so much gone-off wine (sour grapes….get it?!) to you, and you feel humor really does have a place in your office, then read on. 

    The unfunny team does think humor has an important role to play in business. But it’s more of a backstage part, versus cracking “knock knock” jokes in the spotlight. Comedians often flip the script, the report says, with the audience thinking a shaggy dog story is going to have a certain ending, but then the punchline is a dramatic and funny pivot. Thus while telling jokes may not be worth it in the office, thinking like a comedian may be a valid business habit, the report suggests, because you may end up “reversing assumptions, cooperating to innovate, and creating chasms” which may lead to fresh perspectives, or innovative solutions.

    Of course, like many efforts to change company culture, that’s easier said than done. (And what’s easier done than said? Nothing!)

    [ad_2]

    Kit Eaton

    Source link

  • 123 Hilarious Basketball Jokes To Score Some Laughs

    [ad_1]

    Whether you are a player, a coach, or a fan, basketball can be a stressful sport. That’s why it’s good to lighten the mood sometimes. How? Tell a few basketball jokes! Because who doesn’t love a good joke or pun, especially when they’re about your favorite sport? Check out the best basketball jokes to share with anyone who loves the game.

    We Are Teachers

    FREE DOWNLOAD

    Basketball Jokes Google Slides

    Grab your free Google Slides featuring all of the basketball jokes listed below. Just fill out the form on this page!

    Our Favorite Basketball Jokes

    Which Star Wars character is the best basketball player?

    Which Star Wars character is the best basketball player?

    Kobe-Wan Kenobi. 

    What do basketball centers dance to at prom?

    basketball jokes example

    POST Malone.

    What’s a pirate’s favorite type of basketball shot?

    basketball jokes example

    A jump hook.

    I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed fast-food restaurant.

    basketball jokes example

    I’ll call it Shake-Shaq.

    Why did the basketball player go to jail?

    basketball jokes example

    He shot the ball.

    Why do basketball players love astronomy?

    basketball jokes example

    They are shooting stars.

    What do you call an NBA basketball player that misses dunks?

    Basketball jokes example

    Alley Whoops.

    What role does a Dalmatian fill on a basketball team?

    basketball jokes example

    “Spot” shooter.

    Why are spiders great at basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they’re eight-footers.

    Where do point guards take their dates to dance?

    basketball jokes example

    Basket balls.

    How do you beat the Heat in the summertime?

    basketball jokes example

    Score more points than them. 

    What do you call a shrimp that is good at basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    LePrawn James.

    What do the band Lynyrd Skynyrd and the 1980s Boston Celtics offense have in common?

    basketball jokes example

    Free Bird.

    Why did the basketball player always use a pay phone?

    basketball jokes example

    He loved dropping dimes.

    What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?

    basketball jokes example

    To travel more.

    Why did the anti-vax basketball team lose every game?

    basketball jokes example

    They never take any shots.

    What do Karl Malone, Santa Claus, and the mailman have in common?

    basketball jokes example

    They always deliver.

    What is the worst basketball warm-up song?

    basketball jokes example

    Another Brick in the Wall. 

    Why are ghosts best at defense in basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    They are great at getting through screens. 

    What is Santa’s favorite basketball play?

    basketball jokes example

    The give-and-Go! Go! Go!

    What do you get when you cross a basketball player with a monster?

    basketball jokes example

    A double header. 

    How did my tennis career teach me I could be a great basketball player?

    basketball jokes example

    I’m great at nothing but net.

    What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?

    basketball jokes example

    Swiss.

    Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to music?

    basketball jokes example

    Because he broke the record.

    What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?

    basketball jokes example

    A tall tale.

    What was the alligator’s favorite basketball move?

    basketball jokes example

    The alli-oop.

    Why did Cinderella fail at basketball? 

    basketball jokes example

    Because she ran away from the ball.

    Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? 

    basketball jokes example

    They dribble all the time.  

    What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight? 

    basketball jokes example

    Become a referee.

    What happens when your basketball team loses in March?

    basketball jokes example

    You get March Madness sadness.

    Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the game? 

    basketball jokes example

    Because he traveled a lot.

    What is a heart surgeon’s favorite basketball team of all time?

    basketball jokes example

    The 1983 N.C. State NCAA Champions because they were nicknamed the Cardiac Pack.

    Why do so many basketball players fail their tests in school?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they don’t want to pass.

    What are basketball players’ favorite snack?

    basketball jokes example

    Dunk-Aroos.

    Why was the basketball coach wearing sunglasses to school?

    basketball jokes example

    He had bright players.

    If Shaquille O’Neal was a shade of blue, what shade would he be?

    basketball jokes example

    Shaquille O’Teal.

    What type of earrings does a basketball player wear?

    basketball jokes example

    Hoops.

    What are basketball players’ favorite type of firework?

    basketball jokes example

    A flare (screen). 

    What’s the first meal of the day called for basketball players?

    basketball jokes example

    Fast breaks! 

    What sports team is hated by all beard lovers?

    basketball jokes example

    The LA Clippers.

    basketball jokes example

    Missile toe.

    Why did the Harlem Globetrotters have a ghost on their team?

    basketball jokes example

    To add a little team spirit.

    Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?

    basketball jokes example

    It’s always getting tentacle fouls.

    Why is playing basketball with vampires tough?

    basketball jokes example

    No blood, no foul!

    Did you hear about the ghost’s basketball team?

    basketball jokes example

    They can’t shoot or defend, but they have a lot of team spirit!

    Why was the mummy a great sixth man?

    basketball jokes example

    Because the coach knew once he sent the mummy in, the game would be all wrapped up.

    What do you call a 3-pointer during a heat wave?

    basketball jokes example

    A hot shot.

    Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the basketball game?

    basketball jokes example

    Because he had no body to go with.

    What do you call a pumpkin that plays basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    A jock-o’-lantern.

    What position did the pumpkin play on the basketball team?

    basketball jokes example

    It was a point gourd.

    What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Ghoul tending.

    What do an angry bunny and an NBA dunk champion have in common?

    basketball jokes example

    Mad hops.

    A granddaughter was visiting her grandma at the nursing home. When the girl walked into the room, the grandma smiled. The girl enthusiastically said, “Grandma you have March Madness teeth! You are down to your Final Four!” 

    basketball jokes example
    A kid can’t believe her friend isn’t hyped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?” “Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the friend. “Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the kid. “What if your parents don't know a good sport when they see it? What would you be then?” “Then I’d be a football fan.” 

    Who was the poet of basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Longfellow.

    What is Santa’s favorite basketball team?

    basketball jokes example

    The Milwaukee Bucks.

    Why couldn’t the basketball addict recover?

    basketball jokes example

    He rebounded.

    If the Pilgrims were alive today and played basketball, what would they be most famous for?

    basketball jokes example

    Their age.

    What sound does a limping turkey make after a sprained ankle at a basketball game?

    basketball jokes example

    “Wobble, wobble!” 

    What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time?

    basketball jokes example

    Time passes.

    What do you call a pig who plays basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    A ball hog.

    What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?

    basketball jokes example

    One drools and the other dribbles.

    What do scrambled eggs and a losing basketball team have in common?

    basketball jokes example

    They both have been beaten.

    In what sport does a basket get filled but is never full?

    basketball jokes example

    Basketball.

    Why do basketball players love cookies?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they can dunk them.

    Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team?

    basketball jokes example

    It didn’t get picked.

    What does a hunter do with a basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    He shoots it.

    How do basketball players stay cool during a game?

    basketball jokes example

    They stand near the fans.

    What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?

    basketball jokes example

    A basketball coach.

    Why was the basketball court wet?

    basketball jokes example

    Because people were always dribbling on it.

    Why did people think Michael Jordan was conceited?

    basketball jokes example

    Because he was always putting on Airs.

    What happened when basketball sued tennis?

    basketball jokes example

    They had to go to court.

    Which basketball team always donates blood?

    basketball jokes example

    The Hemoglobe-trotters.

    I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger.

    basketball jokes example

    Then it hit me.

    Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they are aren’t alive.

    Why are basketball players the most upstanding members of society?

    basketball jokes example

    Because people look up to them.

    Why did the basketball team join a craft club?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets.

    Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?

    basketball jokes example

    They aren’t allowed to travel.

    Why was the basketball player scared of himself?

    basketball jokes example

    He’s afraid of heights.

    What was the new sci-fi basketball show called?

    basketball jokes example

    Hooper Natural.

    Why don’t fish like basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    They’re afraid of the nets.

    What do you call a sad basketball player? 

    basketball jokes example

    A bawler.

    What do basketball players say when they miss a basket? 

    basketball jokes example

    Shoot.

    Why did the basketball player bring pencils to the NBA game? 

    basketball jokes example

    He wanted to draw fouls.

    Which dinosaur was the best at playing basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    The LeBrontosaurus.

    Why was Cinderella a bad basketball player?

    basketball jokes example

    Because her coach was a pumpkin.

    Which animal is best at basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    A score-pion.

    Why are basketball players good at handling breakups?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they can always rebound.

    Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and begin sketching pictures of chickens?

    basketball jokes example

    He was learning how to draw fowls.

    Why is it a mistake to play basketball with pigs?

    basketball jokes example

    They hog the ball.

    Why can’t you get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle?

    basketball jokes example

    Because cheetahs are all over the place.

    When is the only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team?

    basketball jokes example

    Five after nine.

    Which basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn?

    basketball jokes example

    Tacko Fall.

    What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?

    basketball jokes example

    Hive scored!

    What are the favorite video games of basketball players?

    basketball jokes example

    Shooting Stars.

    What do you call a basketball player with allergies?

    basketball jokes example

    Scottie Epipen.

    What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Get out of the way.

    Why don’t basketball players like to leave their hometowns?

    basketball jokes example

    They hate traveling so much.

    What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?

    basketball jokes example

    Kevin Deodurant.

    What did March say to all the madness?

    basketball jokes example

    “What’s all that bracket?”

    Why are frogs so good at basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Because they always make jump shots.

    What did the triangle offense say to the ball?

    basketball jokes example

    “You’re pointless.”

    Why has Europe never won Olympic gold in basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Because Europe is not a country.

    How do you know when a basketball coach loves dogs?

    basketball jokes example

    He has 3-pointers.

    What was the name of the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?

    basketball jokes example

    Scottie Slippen.

    Legend has it that basketball used to be played with glass beads, and we only started using rubber balls in the 1800s. Switching was indeed a marbleless idea.

    Legend has it that basketball used to be played with glass beads, and we only started using rubber balls in the 1800s. Switching was indeed a marbleless idea.

    What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?

    basketball jokes example

    Michael Gourdan.

    I saw a man walking through the airport holding a basketball. He must have been traveling.

    basketball jokes example

    Why was the basketball player arrested?

    basketball jokes example

    He was caught dunk-driving.

    Why is basketball such a messy sport?

    basketball jokes example

    Because the players are always dribbling everywhere.

    Which member of a basketball team has the biggest sneakers?

    basketball jokes example

    The one with the biggest feet.

    What did the sports announcer say about the basketball team that kept losing?

    basketball jokes example

    They’re a team in transition—they’ve gone from bad to worse.

    Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat?

    basketball jokes example

    Dunkin’ Donuts.

    Why did the basketball player visit the bank?

    basketball jokes example

    His checks were all bouncing.

    What do you call a monkey that wins back-to-back basketball titles?

    basketball jokes example

    A chimpion.

    What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?

    basketball jokes example

    A bouncing baby boa.

    Why were the basketball team’s jerseys so full of static?

    basketball jokes example

    The team was out of Bounce.

    Who is the best basketball player in the Hundred Acre Wood?

    basketball jokes example

    Tigger, because he loves to bounce!

    Why didn’t the lousy basketball team have a website?

    basketball jokes example

    They can’t string three W’s together.

    Two basketball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team scored a basket. How can this be?

    basketball jokes example

    They were women’s basketball teams.

    Hanging in the trophy chest at the high school were basketball team photos from past school years. A player in each photo held a basketball identifying the year—72-73, 73-74, 74-75, etc. One day, a freshman was looking curiously at the photos. Turning to a teacher, he said, “Isn’t it weird how every team lost by just one point?”

    Hanging in the trophy chest at the high school were basketball team photos from past school years. A player in each photo held a basketball identifying the year—72-73, 73-74, 74-75, etc. One day, a freshman was looking curiously at the photos. Turning to a teacher, he said, “Isn’t it weird how every team lost by just one point?”

    How many bad basketball players does it take to change a tire?

    basketball jokes example

    One. Unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

    What do you get when you cross a baker and a basketball player?

    Basketball jokes for kids example

    Someone who knows how to dunk cookies!

    Get your free basketball jokes Google Slides!

    We Are Teachers

    We created a free set of Google Slides featuring all of the basketball jokes listed above. Just fill out the form on this page to grab them!

    If you liked these basketball jokes and want more humor, we’ve got school jokesmath jokeshistory jokesscience jokesgrammar jokes, and music jokes.

    Plus, sign up for our newsletters to get expert teaching tips, ideas, and advice sent directly to your inbox!

    [ad_2]

    Kristy Zamagni-Twomey, B.S., ELA and Fine Arts

    Source link

  • 120 best car jokes and puns to fuel lots of laughs – Growing Family

    [ad_1]

    Buckle up for some family fun with these hilarious car jokes! This collection of car puns will fuel lots of laughs for kids and parents alike.

    Buckle up for family fun with these hilarious car jokes and puns! From silly one-liners to clever wordplay, this collection will fuel endless laughs for kids and parents alike. Perfect for road trips, game nights, or just sharing smiles at home.

    The best car jokes and car puns

    From silly one-liners to playful puns, these kid-friendly car jokes are perfect for road trips, game nights, or just sharing smiles at home.

    Funny car jokes

    What sound does a witch’s car make? Broom broom.

    What happened to the frog who parked on double yellow lines? His car got toad.

    If you drive a Subaru in reverse, what are you? U r a bus.

    Why did the man working at the Land Rover factory find it so interesting? Because he made a new Discovery every day.

    Did you hear about the car that was made of sausages? It was a banger.

    Why does it cost so much to put air in your car tyres? Inflation.

    What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack.

    What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

    Why do the penguins make good F1 drivers? Because they’re always in the pole position.

    What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

    What snakes do you find on cars? Windscreen Vipers. (more snake puns here)

    Why did the man throw his spare tyre into the woods when he got lost? Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way.

    What do you call a Ford Fiesta that’s run out of petrol? A Ford Siesta.

    What car did the successful sushi chef buy? A Rolls-Rice.

    Why did the robot sleep under a car? He wanted to wake up oily.

    What’s a car’s favourite genre of music? Heavy metal.

    Who does a foot call when his car breaks down? A toe truck.

    What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park in it, dude!

    closeup of car headlightcloseup of car headlight

    More great jokes on cars

    What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.

    What car does a snake drive? An Ana-Honda.

    What kind of car does a frog like to drive? A Beetle.

    What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamb-orghini.

    What’s a cowboy’s favourite make of car? Audi.

    What’s a cowboy’s least favourite car? A cattle-lack.

    What’s a car’s favourite meal? Brake-fast.

    Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive? Because it wanted to go for a spin.

    What does a VW run on? Beetle juice.

    What’s the best part of Audi’s customer service? They answer within four rings.

    Why should you always carry bread in your car? In case there’s a traffic jam.

    What did the tornado say to the car? “Fancy going for a spin?”

    Why do pistons make such bad employees? They only work after they’re fired.

    What’s the best car to drive on May 5th? A Ford Fiesta.

    “What did you do with all those old car batteries?” “I gave them away, free of charge.”

    How do you get four dragons into a car? Open the doors.

    Why couldn’t the car play football? It only had one boot.

    Why did the taxi driver lose his job? He kept driving his customers away.

    small child in ride-on carsmall child in ride-on car

    Funny jokes about cars

    What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

    What happened when the frog’s car broke down? He jump started it. (more frog jokes here)

    Why did the car go to therapy? It had too many breakdowns.

    What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look, I’m about to change.”

    What do you call a car that never stops? Exhausting.

    Why don’t cars work after you change their wheels? Because they are retired.

    What did the spider do when he got a new car? Took it out for a spin.

    Why is Miss Piggy such a bad driver? Because she hogs the road.

    Why do cars love to party? They know how to brake-dance.

    Why was the car always tired? It never took any brakes.

    What did the car say to the stop light? “You’ve changed, man!”

    Why should you check your tyres for punctures? In case there’s a fork in the road.

    What make of car do people in Norway drive? Fjords.

    What do you say to a frog that needs a ride? Hop in.

    What type of car does an egg drive? A Yolks-wagen.

    What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car? “Disney matter.

    What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson. (more Santa jokes here)

    What happened when they shut down the robot motorway? Everyone had to take the R2-Detour.

    What was wrong with the wooden car? It wooden go.

    toy car with lego peopletoy car with lego people

    Electric car jokes

    What’s a Tesla’s favourite dance move? The electric slide.

    I walked into an electric car dealership. I asked them how much they charge.

    “Can I use cash to pay for a new electric car?” “No, you have to charge it.”

    Did you hear about new electric car from Germany? It’s called a Voltswagen.

    Why did the electric car finish the race early? It had a short circuit.

    What’s the difference between Elon Musk and Lemurs? Elon Musk made electric cars, but lemurs Madagascar.

    If Apple makes an electric car, will it have windows?

    Do you need a current licence to drive an electric car?

    Car dad jokes

    People laugh at my car because it’s ugly and green. But at least I avocado.

    I just finished building a car using a washing machine motor. I’m going to take it for a spin later.

    What do we want? Race car noises! When do we want them? Neeeooowwwww!

    Someone complimented me on my driving the other day. They left a note on the windscreen – Parking Fine!

    I invented a car that only moves when the driver is silent. It goes without saying.

    My friend was thinking of buying a car with a transparent steering wheel. I told him to steer clear.

    My great-grandad invented the rearview mirror for cars. After that, there was no looking back.

    My sister said I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove it pasta.

    My car failed its emissions test today. I’m fuming.

    small child surrounded by toy carssmall child surrounded by toy cars

    The best car puns

    Couldn’t car less

    All car none

    A car is born

    Give me a brake

    Brake it or leave it

    Brake it ’til you make it

    You’ve got what it brakes

    Let’s park that idea

    Wheel be the judge of that

    I’m wheely excited

    Having a wheely good time

    A wheel of a time

    Wheel good factor

    I’m so tyred

    That’s very tyre-some

    Down to the tyre

    Tyre consequences

    Don’t be fuel-ish

    Fuelling around

    Fuel throttle

    Fuel, calm and collected

    Gas who?

    A real gas act

    Let’s steer this conversation onto another topic

    Blow a gasket

    More puns about cars

    That grinds my gears

    Gear pressure

    Go out on a rim

    Rim and proper

    This is exhaust-ing

    Living life in the fast lane

    I auto know better

    What a ride

    Ride and seek

    Ride and joy

    Look on the bright ride

    Ride and tested

    Driving force

    Drive a hard bargain

    In pole position

    On track for a good time

    Full throttle fun

    Steer clear of it

    I’m auto-ly delighted

    As a motor of fact

    The heart of the motor

    To make motors worse

    Mind over motor

    RV there yet?

    One last car pun…

    Why don’t cars play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding 4 tonnes of metal!

    We hope you’ve enjoyed this roundup of silly car jokes and car puns. Share them with your kids, friends, or even on your next road trip to keep the good vibes rolling!

    More family-friendly jokes and puns

    Pin for later: car puns and car jokes for kids

    Buckle up for family fun with these hilarious car jokes and puns! From silly one-liners to clever wordplay, this collection will fuel endless laughs for kids and parents alike. Perfect for road trips, game nights, or just sharing smiles at homeBuckle up for family fun with these hilarious car jokes and puns! From silly one-liners to clever wordplay, this collection will fuel endless laughs for kids and parents alike. Perfect for road trips, game nights, or just sharing smiles at home

    [ad_2]

    Catherine

    Source link

  • Jiaoying Summers Wanted To Be A Comedian, So She Bought A Comedy Club

    [ad_1]

    In a true tale of self-determinism, viral comedian Jiaoying Summers made her career in comedy happen through sheer force of will.

    “It was a lot of struggle in the beginning,” the digital content producer recalls. “I bought the club but I had zero experience in running a comedy club. I bought it for myself to get on stage.”
    “It was my first week after the open mic, that I realize it will take me 20 years to get [enough] hours under my belt. I was like, I do not have time to waste. So I bought a comedy club on Melrose like one week after I started doing comedy. It’s crazy – it was a clothing store! It was a for lease on Melrose, and I’m like, this is Melrose, it’s a good location. I went in and they had ugly clothes. I was like, ‘Oh bitch, you should not be selling clothes. I’ll take your lease.’”

    The funny risk taker says the gambit paid off, and her now club The Hollywood Comedy is surviving and thriving.

    “It took me a week to hire some Chinese people to renovate it into a little black box theater,” Summers jokes. “And I start hosting open mics, and back then, we had eight open mics a day. Every hour we have open mic. I host every hour.”

    “Then pandemic came, four months later, everything close down. But I did not feel like I’ll give up comedy after pandemic. So I keep it. I keep selling my jewelry, my purse, to pay the rent. I go there every day to talk to the empty room. But then I get on stage and film myself doing my jokes. I posted them on Instagram, and TikTok, which wasn’t really popular so the [clips] never really did anything. But I realize all this material is about my life, and reliving the pain and vulnerability – and those are the jokes that worked. Those are the jokes that went viral for me.”

    “I got to a million followers on TikTok during the pandemic, and I kind of build my audience. It makes it easier to go out and I start to get in the big clubs because I can sell tickets. I have gotten funny because of the amount of crowd work and stage time I have amassed under my belt. Even in pandemic, I was able to go on stage and post my jokes. I was very lucky to use social media and the social media audience helped me find my voice. They show me what is funny by making clips go viral.”

    Now a headliner, Summers is returning for two nights at Punchline Houston on Friday, September 26 and Saturday September 27. “I love Houston!” the comic exclaims. “I played the Punchline last year around October, and I imported my boyfriend from Austin TX to Los Angeles, so Texas gave me a man. I love Texas.”
    The newest hour for Summers entitled What Spesie Are You? is an exploration of subjects that helped her climb the ranks on TikTok. “It will be my origin story including how I grew up in China and lots of religious trauma but we’ve made it into comedy gold! We laugh about all the things that have happened and what I’ve been a victim of. We use it to showcase my skills and resilience. I think it is going to be really fun to share a lot of things I haven’t shared before. I wanted to open my heart and be vulnerable. I think that is the best place to find good comedy, to say things you are embarrassed of and ashamed of and make it funny. People can connect with me, I think.”

    Turning out new jokes is hard, but turning out new jokes from childhood trauma must be harder. However, for Summers, the gamble of people not connecting with new material is worth the risk of putting herself out there. “It is all how you say it, and the willingness to take that kind of risk,” she surmises. “Because I, unfortunately, am not perfect. You want to showcase yourself as a person who is successful and who has their shit together – but I have two DUIs. I have two divorces. I have two kids and I’m a single mother. I suffer from a bipolar disorder. And I also own a comedy club, that is a mess, but it just keep going. I don’t know when the toilets are broken and I’m paying nine times the water bill. So you try to find beauty in chaos, try to find funny in all this pain.”

    “I think that is where you find the best stuff – when you are bravest to share with your audience. That’s when they know you are also human. They can feel like they can not be so judgmental of themselves and the mistakes they have made. If there is a second chance to make it right and be like, ‘Oh my God, I fucking suck.’ We all suck.”
    While Summers is embracing the suck of being imperfect – she also warns against others trying to turn their tragic backstories into stand-up material too quickly. “I think when I do materials about something traumatic, I have to make sure I have overcome that trauma,” she says. “If I have not overcome that trauma, the audience can feel it. They won’t laugh, they’ll be concerned about you. They know when you are not over it. You can’t talk about it, because you are still grieving inside. Your body is still carrying that pain. You have to go to therapy to really make your peace with it. Onstage, you have to make it funny.”

    Summers speaks with clarity and confidence about her craft, despite her young age. She’s mostly self-taught, and unafraid to suggest that’s the only way to develop as a stand-up. “I tried to take a class,” she says, followed by a slight pause. “There’s something that I should not say, because it makes me a villain but… the best comedians are working. They’re not teaching anyone. I don’t want to be the person who said it, but I’m a Chinese savage, I’m gonna say it!”
    “The best advice I got, the advice I hear from people like Nikki Glaser or Tom Segura or Bobby Lee, the people who are working comedian legends, that was the best advice I got. But in the comedy clubs, [those that] taught, were like these angry comedians who never made it, saying you’ll never make it with an accent, or you can’t wear a dress on stage. If people think you are pretty, they will not listen to your jokes. You need to wear thick glasses like a nerd. They would just give you the most outrageous dumb advice. Are you kidding me? It was like everything that I am is wrong.

    “But every real comedian would just tell me: just be you. Don’t pander to anyone and if they don’t like you, they don’t like you. They won’t like you if you are fake. They may if you are true. Don’t copy other people. If you don’t have a really good teacher, just avoid it.”

    “The best way to be a good comedian is to get on stage. You can just sign up and go on stage every day. You will find your voice because the audience the person who will show you if you are funny or not. Pay attention. Tape your show. Study it. That’s the best advice for young comedians, not the don’t look like this or sound like that. It is very bad for your confidence. For the longest time, I was afraid of myself. My voice, my accent, how big I was on stage. Because I am a very big personality, but I try to make myself small so people can like me. But I never found my voice, I was struggling. Then I was like, fuck everything they said, and that’s when things started happening.”

    Jiaoying Summers’ performances are scheduled for 7:30 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. on Friday, September 26 and 7 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. on Saturday, September 27 at Punchline Houston, 1204 Caroline. For more information, visit punchlinehtx.com. $32-69

    [ad_2]

    Vic Shuttee

    Source link

  • 100 best volleyball puns and jokes to serve up laughs – Growing Family

    [ad_1]

    Love volleyball? Then get ready to bump, set, and laugh! Whether you’re a player, a coach, or just a fan of the game, these volleyball puns and jokes are sure to serve up smiles.

    Looking for ways to add family fun and laughs to your day? Our collection of volleyball puns and jokes delivers clever wordplay and playful humour for everyone. Perfect for teammates, kids, or volleyball fans of all ages, these jokes serve up a little extra fun and are guaranteed to keep spirits high both on and off the court.

    The best volleyball puns and jokes

    Perfect for sharing with teammates, family, or at your next match, this list of volleyball jokes and puns will keep the fun in play long after the final point. Let’s serve up some giggles!

    Funny volleyball jokes

    What do you call something you can serve but can’t eat? A volleyball.

    Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.

    Why do volleyball players make such good waiters? Because they really know how to serve.

    What do you call a dog who’s really good at volleyball? Spike.

    How do volleyball players avoid arguments? They just set things straight.

    How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.

    What do you get when you cross a volleyball server with a ghost? A serve like you’ve never seen.

    When is a volleyball player like a judge? When they sit on the bench.

    Why didn’t the server blame his hand for the poor service? Because it was the foot’s fault.

    Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.

    Why couldn’t the volleyball player cross the road? There were too many bumps.

    Where do ghosts play volleyball? On a volleyball corpse. (More ghost jokes here)

    Why can’t Cinderella play volleyball? Because she keeps running away from the ball.

    What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the volleyball court? Annette.

    Why can’t fish play volleyball? They’re afraid of the net. (More fish jokes here)

    Where do good diggers play volleyball? In the miner leagues.

    Why did the volleyball player bring a shovel to the game? So he could dig deep.

    people playing volleyball on an indoor courtpeople playing volleyball on an indoor court

    More great jokes about volleyball

    How many middle-hitters does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the setter has to place the light bulb in the exact right location.

    Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin. 

    What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave. 

    What type of stories do volleyball players like to share? Tall tales.

    Why is it not good to play volleyball in a court?  Because you might get arrested.

    Why did the volleyball player go to her financial adviser? She wanted to know her net worth.

    How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbours? With a block party. 

    Why didn’t the volleyball player want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.

    Did you see the movie about volleyball? It was directed by Spike Lee.

    Why was the stegosaurus so good at volleyball? Because he had fantastic spikes.

    Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in service.

    Why don’t volleyball players ever tell secrets? They’re afraid of getting blocked.

    Why was the volleyball court so crowded? It was a net-working event.

    What’s a volleyball player’s favourite Star Wars movie? The Empire Spikes Back.

    a volleyball on an indoor courta volleyball on an indoor court

    Volleyball dad jokes

    Why did the volleyball player bring an extra pair of shoelaces? They wanted to tie the score.

    why did the table love playing volleyball? Because it was always getting set.

    How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.

    What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? “May the spike be with you.”

    Why did the geese always beat the ducks in volleyball? The goosebumps were amazing.

    What was the volleyball player’s alibi in the courtroom? “I was set up.”

    Is it dangerous to play volleyball on a full stomach? Yes, it’s better to play on a volleyball court.

    Why are volleyball players bad at social media? They just keep blocking everyone.

    Why do archaeologists always get a spot on the volleyball team? Because they’re great at digging.

    Why do volleyball players make great party hosts? They know how to set the mood.

    Why are policemen great at volleyball? They like to serve and protect.

    Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.

    How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.

    How did the volleyball player like her eggs? Sunnyside out.

    How are lawyers like volleyball players? They both try to avoid faults and pass the blame.

    volleyball team on an indoor courtvolleyball team on an indoor court

    Best volleyball puns

    Spike-tacular

    Spike-tastic

    Volley-wood star

    I dig volleyball

    Having a volley good time

    Set for success

    Volley good show!

    I’m a total net-ural at this

    That’s a volley good idea

    Ace-ing life, one serve at a time

    My volleyball skills are net-orious

    Always ready to dig deep

    A smashing success

    Setting the bar high

    Court-ing success

    Ace the day

    Holy Blockamole!

    Serve up some fun

    Spike it like it’s hot

    Spike like you mean it

    Serving up good vibes

    Eat, sleep, spike, repeat

    Keep calm and spike on

    More funny volleyball puns

    You’ve been served

    Net-flix and serve

    Dig it or leave it

    Rise above the net

    Spike-tacular game

    Volleyball is my net worth

    Love at first spike

    Volley-tastic vibes

    I’m diving into victory

    You just got served

    Netting the good times

    May the spike be with you

    When you play volleyball, your net worth really shows

    Setting the mood for victory

    Having a smashing good time

    Volleyball: Can you dig it?

    Saved by the ball

    Ball in a day’s work

    Believe it or net

    Don’t net on it

    Net gains

    As good as it nets

    Game, set, match

    I’m a serve-vivor

    If you want a soft serve, go get ice cream.

    Are you wearing SPF 30? Because that was one serious block!

    One last volleyball pun…

    My volleyball opponent wasn’t happy with my serve. He kept returning it.

    And that’s game! We hope these clever volleyball puns and jokes set you up for plenty of laughs and helped spike a little extra fun into your day. Whether you share them courtside, in the locker room, or just for a quick smile, they’re always a win!

    More cool jokes to enjoy

    Pin for later: best volleyball jokes and volleyball puns

    Looking for ways to add family fun and laughs to your day? Our collection of volleyball puns and jokes delivers clever wordplay and playful humour for everyone. Perfect for teammates, kids, or volleyball fans of all ages, these jokes serve up a little extra fun and are guaranteed to keep spirits high both on and off the court.

    [ad_2]

    Catherine

    Source link

  • Michael Yo Talks Taking His Comedy Clean and Living His Game Show Dreams

    [ad_1]

    It’s really all coming together for stand-up Michael Yo as he hits the big 5-0.

    “I released a special [Snack Daddy], I just shot another Dry Bar special that’s gonna come out and I’m 50 – yes, I’m 50!” the Houston-born comedian says with zeal. “People can’t tell ‘cause I’m half black and Asian – Black don’t crack, and Asian don’t raisin! I tell people I’m 137 years old.”

    “But yeah, the 5-0,” Yo says wistfully ahead of Friday September 13 date at House of Blues. “Not to get too deep, but it’s a weird thing, because I am 50 but if we were to hang out, you would never think I’m 50. I don’t feel it! Literally I feel like I’m in my 20s. It’s a weird thing where I don’t even feel my age. I think when we were growing up, when you say someone who is 50 – they LOOKED 50. Even go back to look at old sitcoms, where the parents are supposed to be 35 but they look like 60? Now we know how to take care of ourselves, we eat healthy and all this. But I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my life: mentally, physically, in material and family. It’s all clicking together.”
    Despite his rapid fire recording pace, Yo promises new stories and jokes for his Issa Truuue! Tour. “100 percent new material,” he affirms. “and that’s the stress of it. Stand up is just part of me. I tell me I can’t live without my family, or stand up. Like literally it is my right arm. No matter how tired I am, if there is a comedy club around, I will go to it. Me and my wife will go on vacation, and if the kids go to sleep early, I will look for the closest comedy club. Just to go up – which annoys my wife a lot! It is just part of me. There is no pressure because I love it. If you love what you do.”

    “Now I will admit, unlike a singer who can sing a couple of hit songs for the rest of their life – [with comedy] after they see it once live, they don’t want to see it again. That’s what makes it so hard to be a stand up comedian. But since I talk about my life so much, it has become so easy to find my voice and different angles on things. Crazy things happen every single day – between my kids, my wife, my parents are ridiculous, you know? I talk to them all the time, so I always got material coming in.”

    Speaking of family, Yo’s young family is growing up – and the lingering thought remains: what happens when his kids are old enough to watch the jokes he’s told about them? “Now more than I ever, I have to be more careful because they actually understand what I am saying,” he explains, charting his thinking on the looming subject and explaining an announcement for his upcoming material. “I’m more of a family comedian now, I’m going the clean route and not cursing and all that, because I want my kids to be able to watch my comedy. But at the same time – you still gotta be able to make jokes about them.

    “So how do you do that where if they see it, but don’t totally understand it yet? So you kinda make a choice that they’ll understand it later in life, and get over it. It’s that weird things because I talk about the balance between my daughter and son, and the different things they do. But I don’t want them to ever see it and say, ‘aw, my dad thinks I’m this’ because it is just jokes. So even though I don’t curse in my stand up, I still don’t really let them watch anything I do because they won’t understand it – but probably when they’re teenagers like 15 and 16 is the first time they’ll see my stand up.”
    Some may call it re-branding, other may merely observe it as a natural evolution: but Yo pivoting to a clean-only perspective may not surprise longtime followers of his work. “The thing is – I’ve never cursed that much.”

    “[Not to say] this is a religious moment in my life, but eight months ago I was just like: I’m gonna dedicate my stand up, and really everything I do, because I’ve always been a believer in God, but I just said that I don’t need to curse. I’m just gonna make this change that going forward, all my comedy is gonna be clean. Right now, I have people who are 40 or 50 years old, bring their 21 or 22 year old kids to my shows. And it’s always been like that because I don’t really curse, but man, I want to be open to everybody coming.”

    As if the universe desired to affirm his shift in direction, Yo says it was nearly instant when a new door opened that led to the realization of a life-long dream. “Right when I started doing [clean material] 8 months ago, literally 3 months later, I got the call for Scrambled Up, a game show. I’ve been wanting to host a game show all my life! They told me, and I was so excited I hung up and told my wife and started crying. But then he called back and said I forgot to tell you, but you’re shooting 160 episodes! In 4 weeks! So I’ve been shooting 8-9 episodes per day. [And] after doing that for 12 hours, to still go up onstage and practice has been a lot. But great things are happening.”

    “They say it’s really not on your time, it’s on God’s time. I really believe that. I’ve worked so hard, like I was the person who would shoot all the pilots and be told that you’re not famous enough – you may be great or the best host, but you’re not famous enough. But now I’ve got my shot and I feel like everything is happening for a reason. 5-6 years ago, when I had the opportunity, I wasn’t as good as I was now.”
    Dreams fulfilled begat more dreams it seems, as Yo is forthcoming about another bucket list item for his career: the classic American sitcom. “My dream, since my stand up is so successful right now, I would love to do my own sitcom about my life. People know that. I see the reaction live, they love the stories and I would love to bring that to a sitcom.

    “But it’s a thing where I’m really trying to break more into acting but also balance it with family. On this game show, I’ve been away from my family for like 6 weeks. I’ll fly from Atlanta to Las Vegas every weekend to see them. It’s a lot, but it’s also, you have to do what you have to do. So I have to balance everything with family first and those opportunities go around them. Because even if your kids say they understand, all they’re going to remember the times you were gone. Not the time you’re there. I try to limit that as much as a possible.”

    While other passions come and go, Yo stands strong with his true professional love: stand-up. “My friend told me the greatest thing,” he says. “If you tell a joke about your family and they laugh, that means they’ve identified with it because they’ve got through exactly what you’ve gone through. If you say a joke nobody laughs to, you’ve not related to anybody. That’s why I love comedy, man. It’s a superpower! Just you on stage making somebody laugh for an hour. It’s the best job. If I had to rank it, it would be comedy, by far. Above acting, above hosting a game show, because without comedy, professionally I would be so miserable. I love it that much.”
    With this tour, Yo says he aims to honor his parents – and even gave his mother the title quote. “My mom is ruthless and so blunt and will just say the most cruel things to people, then say ‘Issa true!’ I remember I was hanging out with my mom, and this was like two weeks ago, and she was looking at a person and she said ‘Wow, they have nice teeth and a long face.’ And I just said, ‘Oh my God mom – you can’t say that!’ And she says, ‘Why? Issa true.’ So that’s my mom, she keeps saying things she should not be saying and this whole tour is dedicated to my parents and my mom especially.”

    “But the great things is everybody has a person in their family, whether they’re white, Asian, black, Hispanic, that talks like that. I think that’s why my comedy relates – because yes, my mom is Asian and my dad is black, but so many people after the show go: my Dad is like your dad, or my Mom is like your mom? When it comes down to it, we all got crazy people in our family.”

    Fans of Yo should be eating well for the foreseeable future. Between his tour, his game show, and his most recent specials dropped on YouTube, there is plenty of content to fill the hours. “People can watch Snack Daddy and my last one (I Never Thought) now. I never thought I’d self-produce it, but I got tired of waiting for people to say yes, and to give me a platform, so I did it myself.

    On the trend of comedians turning to self-distribution over waiting for Netflix money, Yo has powerful insights. “Why wait for someone to give you an opportunity when you can make it yourself? Now with cameras and stuff – before it would take $200,000 or $300,000 to shoot a special. You can shoot a special now that is the same quality for 15 grand. And you own it! And you license it! And you make money from everything. So yeah, I think it’s great comedians can control their own destinies. When it comes down to it, there will always be people that will say no. But what got me through the tough times were those 300 or 400 people in the audience who laughed and said yes.”

    Yo’s performance is scheduled for 7 p.m. on September 13 at House of Blues, 1204 Caroline. For information, call 888-402-5837 or visit houseofblues.com/houston. $29-49.

    [ad_2]

    Vic Shuttee

    Source link

  • 90 pirate jokes and pirate puns to shiver your timbers – Growing Family

    90 pirate jokes and pirate puns to shiver your timbers – Growing Family

    [ad_1]

    Ahoy, me hearties! Are you ready to set sail on an ocean of giggles? We’ve gathered the best pirate jokes and pirate puns to keep you chuckling from starboard to port.

    Looking to bring some family-friendly laughs to your day? Check out this fun list of pirate jokes perfect for all ages! Packed with lighthearted pirate humor, it’s sure to get everyone smiling, whether you're sharing with kids or just love a good chuckle yourself. These clever jokes and puns make for an entertaining read that’s great for parties, road trips, or any time you need a laugh. Click to read the full article!

    The best pirate jokes and pirate puns

    Whether you’re a fan of classic “Arrr” jokes or clever wordplay, this swashbuckling list of pirate jokes has a little something for everyone – and there are no sea legs required.

    These clever jokes and puns make for an entertaining read that’s great for parties, road trips, or any time you need a laugh. So take a break from the serious stuff and let’s dive into some lighthearted, high-seas humour!

    Funny pirate jokes

    Why did the pirate put a chick on top of his treasure chest? Because eggs marks the spot.

    What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school? Captain Hook-y.

    Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?  Because they can spend years at C.

    What do pirates wear in the winter?  Long Johns.

    How do pirates like to cook their steaks?  On a barrrrbecue.

    What do you call a pirate with three eyes? Piiirate.

    How do pirates communicate? Aye to aye.

    How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.

    What kind of phone does a pirate have? An aye phone.

    When do pirates get to eat cake? When they reach a dessert island.

    Why do pirates love binge-watching TV shows? They get hooked.

    What do you call a pirate mutiny? A conspira-sea.

    What did the pirate say about his girlfriend? “She had me at ‘Ahoy!”

    Why can’t you call a pirate? Because they always leave their phones off the hook.

    Why are pirates called pirates? Because they just arrrr!

    pirate skull and crossbones decorationpirate skull and crossbones decoration

    More great pirate jokes for kids

    What’s a pirate’s favourite doll? Barrrrbie.

    What’s a pirate’s favourite part of a song? The hook.

    What’s a pirate’s favourite type of music? Arrr & B.

    What’s a pirate’s favourite musical instrument? The guit-arrrr.

    What’s a pirates favourite fish? Pieces of skate.

    What’s a pirates favourite vegetable? Arrrtichoke.

    What’s a pirate’s favourite letter? R.

    What’s a pirate’s favourite school subject? Arrrrrr-t.

    What’s a pirate’s favourite type of exercise? The plank.

    What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Robin Hook.

    Why did the pirate go to the Apple store? He needed a new iPatch.

    How do pirates know they exist? They think, therefore they arrrrr.

    What does a pirate name his dog? The Plank – that’s why he’s always walking The Plank.

    How did the pirate find out he needed glasses? He took an aye exam.

    Where do pirates go for a drink? The sandbar.

    Why are pirates so good at solving maths problems? Because they’re always trying to find out where X is.

    Which pirate makes the best dinners? Captain Cook.

    How did the pirate get such a good price? He bought it on sail.

    How do you save a dying pirate? With C-P-Arrrrr.

    man and child wearing pirate hatsman and child wearing pirate hats

    Hilarious pirate dad jokes

    Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground? Because booty is only shin deep.

    What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in a snow bank? “Shiver me timbers.”

    What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned.

    What do you call 3.14 men out at sea? Pi-rates.

    How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buck-an-ear.

    Why did the pirate get lost? He wasn’t shore which way to go.

    Why was the pirate sad when his parrot left? It gave him the cold shoulder.

    Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.

    How do you make a pirate furious? Take away the “p”.

    Do pirates enjoy fighting? Sword of…

    Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden leg? Right where you left him.

    Why are pirates always healthy? They get such a good dose of vitamin sea.

    Did you hear about the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie? It was rated Arrrr.

    Why do pirates live life to the fullest? Because they know how to seas the day.

    brass skull and crossbonesbrass skull and crossbones

    More pirate jokes to make you smile

    What did the pirate wear on Halloween? A pumpkin patch.

    What do you call a selfish pirate? Extremely arrrr-ogant.

    What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Aye matey years old!

    How does a pirate know when the sea is friendly? It waves. (more ocean puns here)

    Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed a little arrrr and arrr.

    What do you call it when two pirates call it a draw? A stale-matey.

    Where do pirates keep their valuables? In a jarrrrr.

    Why do pirates make the best singers? Because they can hit the high sea notes.

    Why did the pirate join the gym? To improve his booty.

    What grades did the pirate get in school? High Cs.

    What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer? “Shiver me timbers!”

    pirate shippirate ship

    The best pirate puns

    I’m so p-irate

    No holds b-arrrr-ed

    How biz-arrrr-e

    Here we arrrrr-e

    An aye for an aye

    I’ve got my aye on you

    Making ends mate

    I’ve mate my match

    More than mates the eye

    After me own hearty

    Don’t go breaking me hearty

    I’ve set me hearty on it

    Tough as old bootys

    Bet your bootys

    Getting my booty sleep

    Booty is in the eye of the beholder

    A loot of fuss about nothing

    That leaves a loot to be desired

    Better loot than never

    Hook, line and sinker

    Let me off the hook

    Take them down a pegleg or two

    Shake a pegleg

    Turn a blind eyepatch

    Parrot fashion

    A plank look

    Plank canvas

    Fill in the planks

    Plank your lucky stars

    It’s a plunder-ful life

    One last pirate pun…

    Have you heard any more good pirate jokes? Neither have ayeeee!

    And there you have it, mateys – enough pirate jokes and puns to keep you chuckling all the way to the next port! Whether you’re sailing solo or sharing laughs with your crew, we hope these jokes brought a bit of high-seas humour to your day.

    More fun jokes and puns

    Pin for later: best pirate jokes and pirate puns

    Looking to bring some family-friendly laughs to your day? Check out this fun list of pirate jokes perfect for all ages! Packed with lighthearted pirate humor, it’s sure to get everyone smiling, whether you're sharing with kids or just love a good chuckle yourself. These clever jokes and puns make for an entertaining read that’s great for parties, road trips, or any time you need a laugh. Click to read the full article!Looking to bring some family-friendly laughs to your day? Check out this fun list of pirate jokes perfect for all ages! Packed with lighthearted pirate humor, it’s sure to get everyone smiling, whether you're sharing with kids or just love a good chuckle yourself. These clever jokes and puns make for an entertaining read that’s great for parties, road trips, or any time you need a laugh. Click to read the full article!

    [ad_2]

    Catherine

    Source link