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Have dating apps lost their spark? About 80 million people use them, according to an eHarmony survey, but a Forbes Health study found most people feel “emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted” by them.
Dating apps aren’t bad, but the highs and lows that come with trying to find your perfect match can take a toll on your mental health. A study published in “Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking” found that excessive dating app use is linked to higher anxiety, depression and even lower self-esteem. That’s not how you want to feel before a date!
The causes include decision fatigue when those endless profiles start to blur together and genuine connections feel harder to spot. Also, there’s something that happens called intermittent reinforcement, when those occasional matches trigger dopamine spikes in the brain. It causes you to chase the high of more matches and messages, instead of a deeper connection. It can all be very exhausting and emotionally draining.
There are ways to enjoy a healthier digital dating experience:
- Set clear time boundaries: Try 20 to 30 minutes per day to reduce scrolling and the anxiety that can come with it.
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Prioritize quality over quantity: Rather than chasing endless matches, focus on building one or two meaningful conversations at a time.
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Practice self-compassion: Remember that dating, especially in today’s digital-first world, can be emotionally taxing. Be gentle with yourself through the highs and lows of it.
The healthiest way to date today may not be to swipe faster or smarter but to swipe more mindfully, recognizing that real emotional health and meaningful connections are the priority.
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Nicole Clark, PhD
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