Week 3 NFL straight up, against the spread, and survivor pool picks

Colts (-4) at Titans: I mean…

Jones leads the NFL in YPA (9.3), he’s sixth both in QBR and QB rating, and the Colts are 2-0.

Jets at Buccaneers (-7): Each week in our preview of the Eagles’ next matchup, we try to take a look at their opponent’s offensive line. I’m going to get a little bit of a head start on the Bucs’ offensive line here, since it is a major issue for them at the moment. If everyone were healthy, Tampa’s offensive line would look like this:

Wirfs started the season on the PUP list after having surgery on his right knee. Rather than have swing tackle Charlie Heck fill in directly for Wirfs, they moved Barton from C to LT, and Bredeson from LG to C. At LG, they inserted Michael Jordan, a guy they had originally signed to their practice squad after 53-man cutdowns.

During their Week 2 win over the Texans, Goedeke injured his foot, and Heck filled in at RT. Goedeke is expected to miss “multiple weeks.”

It was reported on Wednesday that Mauch’s season is over with a knee injury. It is unknown who would fill in for Mauch at RG.

In other words, there are likely to be zero spots along the Bucs’ offensive line that will be manned by the player they intended when forming their roster.

I’m still picking them to win because the Jets stink, but I will take the Jets plus the 7 points, even with Tyrod Taylor replacing Justin Fields at quarterback.

Falcons (-5.5) at Panthers: The Falcons held the Bucs to 260 yards Week 1, and the Vikings to 198 yards Week 2. They have my attention.

Raiders at Commanders (-3): The wannabe QB gurus were awfully quiet after Geno Smith’s three-INT Monday Night Football performance against the Chargers.Marcus Mariota could start for the Commanders in this game in place of Jayden Daniels, and while I don’t love this Commanders roster, I certainly like it better than the Raiders’.

Packers (-7.5) at Browns: The Packers have probably been the most impressive team in the NFC to begin the season. I don’t like Joe Flacco’s chances of ducking the Green Bay pass rush.

Bengals at Vikings (-3): This will be a battle of backup quarterbacks. The Bengals will start Jake Browning, while the Vikings will start old friend Carson Wentz. I don’t like either backup, but at least Browning is in his fifth season in Cincy and knows the offense, while Wentz is starting a game for the sixth different team in six seasons, and he hasn’t even been a Viking for a month.

Steelers (-2) at Patriots: These are two bad teams. The Pats are at least maybe on the way up with Drake Maye at quarterback, while the Steelers are trying to hang onto mediocrity with Aaron Rodgers for some reason. Give me the team with some hope for the future.

Texans at Jaguars (-2): It just occurred to me that the AFC South has the highest drafted quarterbacks on average in the NFL. Trevor Lawrence and Cam Ward both went 1st overall, C.J. Stroud went 2nd, and Daniel Jones 6th. 

I don’t have any actual analysis of this game, because really, who cares?

Broncos at Chargers (-3): The Chargers defense has been what people thought the Broncos defense would be this season.

Saints at Seahawks (-7.5): The Seahawks aren’t legitimate Super Bowl contenders, but they’ll win 8 or 9 games. This will be one of them.

Cowboys at Bears (-1.5): In their last five quarters the Bears have allowed 73 points.

Cardinals at 49ers (-2.5): Brock Purdy may or may not play in this game, so picking this game on Thursday feels kind of pointless. I think I’m just rooting for Mac Jones to play again, and play well, so that I can watch 49ers fans fight over whether or not they should have given Purdy a $265 million contract.

Barring a tie, one of these very average teams will be 3-0 after this matchup.

Chiefs (-6.5) at Giants: Wait, the Giants got a Week 3 Sunday Night Football game? And last week we got Falcons-Vikings? Who at NBC isn’t fighting hard enough for better games?

Anyway, are we sure the Chiefs are still good? I kinda feel like they might not be, and will miss the playoffs? But for one week they’ll look better. The Giants have a way of making opponents feel good about themselves.

Lions at Ravens (-5): This is the game of the week. The Ravens have put up 40+ points in both of their games so far. They scored 30 or more points in 11 games last year. The Lions 50-burgered the Bears last week, but looked terrible Week 1 against the Packers. I guess I just trust the Ravens’ ability to consistently score a lot of points, especially when the stakes aren’t really that high yet. 

Survivor pick ☠️

The Bills are the chalk pick this week, and, well, I’m going chalk, just like I did Week 1 and Week 2. 🤷‍♂️

1. Week 1: Eagles
2. Week 2: Ravens
3. Week 3: Bills

Call me a coward if you will, but I’m still alive.