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Commenters supported a teenager for expecting her uncle, who is her legal guardian, to help her pay for college.
The Original Poster (OP), known as u/KINGJAYTHEG, posted about the situation in Reddit‘s “Am I The A**hole” forum where it received more than 16,000 upvotes and 5,000 comments. The post can be found here.
College Tuition Responsibility
According to Leslie H. Tayne, a New York-based financial attorney and founder of Tayne Law Group, it is typical for parents and guardians to pay for their kid’s college tuition.
A 2022 report from Sallie Mae found that 85 percent of parents pay a portion of their child’s tuition costs.
“Students have options if they do not have any financial support from their parents to pay for tuition,” Tayne told Newsweek. “For those still in high school, taking AP classes can be an excellent way to inexpensively earn college credits. Applying for scholarships can help reduce tuition costs. Apply for the FAFSA to see what types of financial aid you’re eligible for and only consider student loans if necessary.”
Tayne also recommends that individuals contribute to a savings account to help reduce out-of-pocket costs and speak to a guidance counselor at school about potential scholarships.
“Consider a part-time job while in school to cover expenses and minimize borrowing costs,” she recommends.
‘AITA?’
In the post titled “AITA for not paying for my nieces college tuition,” the 45-year-old man says he has three children 18 years and older and also takes care of his 17-year-old niece whose father died.
The OP said he and his wife, 45, treat her like family and try their best to make sure she doesn’t feel left out.
“I honestly really care about her but financially I can’t support her all my life,” the post read. “When my eldest moved away I had more money to spare so I was able to get her more things.
My daughter is now going away to college so my niece was excited and came to my wife and I about colleges she liked.”
The OP recommended that his niece start applying for scholarships now to make it easier for her later, but she laughed and asked why she would need scholarships if he was paying her tuition.
“I told her that no I wouldn’t, I only had money to pay for my kids but I would help her out with basic necessities,” the post read. “She was silent after that then went to her room. Apparently she spoke to my father because he called me in a rage and said I was being cruel to her.”
The OP’s father also said that if he cared for his niece he would have started saving money as soon as he brought her in.
“My brother died very young so he didn’t have much saved and my niece’s mother’s side isn’t offering anything,” the post read. “I admit I could’ve told her earlier that I wouldn’t pay for her tuition but I didn’t. AITA?”
In an update, the OP said he receives some social security and that although he is his niece’s legal guardian he did not adopt her. He also added that he is going to look into FAFSA for options.
Redditor Reactions
More than 5,000 users commented on the post, many defending the man’s niece for expecting him to help her pay but also understanding that the man may be financially unable to.
“I don’t understand how this is just now coming up,” one user said. “You’re telling me you have never had a discussion with this child about her future? What were you planning to do when she turned 18 if she didn’t leave for college?”
“If you have guardianship but didn’t adopt your niece, she will be considered an independent student when she applies for financial aid,” another user said. “She doesn’t have to report your income on her FAFSA. That should significantly reduce her cost of attending college and make her Pell Grant eligible.”
“YTA for the way you phrased it and the way you view it,” another user said. “If you’d said to her––and earlier would’ve been better––I want to help you go to college––I don’t have the money to pay for all of it but we’ll find a good option through scholarships And however else I can help.”
“You’re not an a**hole for not being able to pay for someone to go to college,” another said. “But feeling like you don’t have a duty to treat her like an actual equal makes you TA (And then claiming to treat her like an equal is the a**hole shaped cherry on top).”
“If you can’t afford tuition for her, then you can’t afford tuition,” another user said. “But I really think you should have told her this when she was 14 or 15 so that she could have planned better.”
Newsweek reached out to u/KINGJAYTHEG for comment.
If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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