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Although a natural continuation of her wrathful “Tit For Tat,” the latest single from Tate McRae, “Nobody’s Girl,” is also a timely “companion piece” to Chanté Joseph’s viral Vogue article, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” (a question that even Carrie Bradshaw answered in the affirmative via the series finale of And Just Like That…). McRae seemed to understand this to its fullest extent after her breakup with The Kid Laroi, also arriving at the conclusion that, sometimes, the only thing more embarrassing than a boyfriend is an ex-boyfriend—and the lengths he’ll go to sully a woman’s good name. As The Kid Laroi did by releasing “A Cold Play” in September of ‘25, a song that is filled with passive aggressiveness, including and especially his assertion of the idea that he tried to love someone he couldn’t “fix.” That kind of statement highlighting a key issue in the dynamic, which is that he couldn’t accept her as she was in the first place (like Mark Darcy with Bridget Jones). Because it’s true that if you “love” someone, you shouldn’t feel like there’s something “broken” about them that would allow you to love them more genuinely if you could just “fix” it (this being the reason why women with the “I can fix him” philosophy usually end up so burned by the “him” in question).
In any case, The Kid Laroi paints himself as the victim throughout the song, having the audacity to sing a verse like, “Just understand it’s not like me to give my heart away, ayy/Now you takin’ distance and it’s hard to take, ayy/I tried everything to get your thoughts to change, ayy/I tried not to listen when they all would say, ayy/This was temporary and you’d walk away/It’ll always be easy to blame you/But it’s my fault for thinking I could/Fix you, fix you, fix you, fix you” (that last repetition being part of the reason why the song is seemingly a reference to a certain band’s name).
Hence, a standout lyric from “Tit For Tat” being, “Fix your fuckin’ self/Kiss my ass for that.” But McRae wasn’t done saying her piece there—as “Nobody’s Girl,” the lone song from the deluxe edition of So Close to What (billed as So Close to What???) to have an accompanying music video thus far, makes very clear. Still rehashing her own heartbreak-turned-“in my best self” era (see also: Lily Allen with West End Girl), McRae sings, “And my heart was like an open sore/Saw like twenty healers when I was on tour/Told me everything I need I got/And the cherry on top/I am nobody’s girl.” In other words, she no longer has to deal with the embarrassment/general cross-bearing of having a boyfriend. And to convey that message of her general sense of “unburdenedness,” the video for “Nobody’s Girl” showcases McRae dancing in lingerie with an especial “spring in her step,” as though she’s finally been freed from the prison of her former relationship.
Directed by photographer Thibaut Grevet, the video starts with a focus on McRae’s cherry-red lips (this emphasizing Grevet’s photography background) as she repeats (in a warped, almost drug-addled-sounding way), “Love it so so much/Love it so so much/Does it mess you up?/Does it mess you up?” What she loves, of course, is her newfound sense of independence in singledom, adding, “Got my career on my mind/Money drop in New York City/Look in the mirror and I’m like, ‘So hot! So smart! So witty!’” This ability to relish the traits she loves about herself, sadly, did not feel as prominent while in a relationship. Indeed, more often than not, many hetero women find that being with a man only increases their sense of insecurity, rather than fortifying their self-esteem. Because without the negative voice of a man constantly in one’s ear to tell her she’s somehow not measuring up in a certain way (e.g., The Kid Laroi saying he thought he could “fix” her), she can actually start to hear her own voice again—and the result tends to be much more encouraging.
So it is that McRae triumphantly declares, “I am nobody’s girl (I love it so much)/It’s exactly what I wanted (oh oh)/I am nobody’s girl/Does it mess you up?/That you had it and you lost it (oh, oh).” And, talking of songs that start with the word “Nobody’s,” there is a kind of parallel to “Nobody’s Girl” and Sabrina Carpenter’s “Nobody’s Son.” For the latter speaks to a woman’s realization that, “Probably should have guessed/He’s like the rest/So fine and so deceiving/There’s nobody’s son/Not anyone left for me to believe in.” Except, of course, in oneself. And for women, the power of finally seeking validation and comfort from within rather than from a relationship is something that’s become a rediscovered phenomenon (for it all technically started with women finding their voice [and absolute need for independence and autonomy] as never before during the 1960s). Having unearthed this wisdom already at such a young age (sort of like Britney having the epiphany, “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman”), McRae makes deliberate mention of her twenty-two years—along with being fed up with trying to “man please” (a far more nuanced version of people pleasing)—in the verse, “How many times can I/Shapeshift into someone else?/No, there’s no line/When art turns to need serious help/And when the job calls/Gotta get it done/Gotta put myself second to none/And at twenty-two it’s a little sad/But it’s fun.”
And, finally understanding that it’s “okay” to have fun rather than being so focused on “finding another person” to somehow “sanction” that fun or make it more “worthwhile,” there are certain moments in the “Nobody’s Girl” video where McRae appears as two—like she’s a twin—literally leaning on herself for comfort. A strong metaphor for the old Beyoncé adage, “Me, myself and I/That’s all I got in the end.”
Perhaps that’s why, in another scene, McRae is featured wearing in bridal-esque attire (once again, Madonna’s Like A Virgin era is forever omnipresent and relevant), as though to emphasize that, like Carrie Bradshaw, she’s opted to marry herself (see: “A Woman’s Right to Shoes”). And the best part of that is, “Nobody’s in my head tonight/Nobody’s saying wrong or right.” Of course, all of this isn’t to say that McRae has turned her back on the idea of a relationship entirely. In fact, she eventually echoes what Joseph says in her follow-up article to “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?,” which is,
“What’s funny in all of this is how much I’ve been accused of demonizing people for seeking love. That couldn’t be further from the truth. So many of us, myself included, yearn for companionship. I am not completely hopeless; part of me wants to believe things can get better. I wonder whether the original piece touched such a nerve because our obsession with straight coupledom—what it means, the ways in which it’s for so long been positioned as aspirational—conceals a lot of the unsavory things we’d rather not address, mostly because they’re too sticky and complicated to fix all at once.”
As though to align with that sentiment, McRae appears in the final scenes dressed like a Victoria’s Secret Angel model—as in, wearing lingerie and angel wings—to say, “And when I ask/The angels sing/They say/Real love doesn’t clip your wings [this going back to the abovementioned douchebag move of The Kid Laroi saying he thought he had to “fix” her in order for her to be “acceptable”]/I love love and affection and fancy things/But I think I like me more [or, as MARINA once said, “I love you, but I love me more”]/And when I cry, gotta wonder why/Every tear’s in the shape of mankind.”
In effect, so many women are on the same wavelength at this moment in time about the ways in which men consistently disappoint, and so it hardly seems worth the tradeoff of enduring them in an insufferable relationship just for the sake of being able to say you’re in a relationship. Which is, as Joseph pointed out, not really “the dream” or “the main goal” for women anymore.
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Genna Rivieccio
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