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Tag: Working mothers

  • If You’ve Ever Wondered How High-Profile Moms ‘Do It All,’ Here’s Your Answer.

    If You’ve Ever Wondered How High-Profile Moms ‘Do It All,’ Here’s Your Answer.

    Celebrity moms seem to have more hours in their day than the rest of us. They appear to be loving parents with highly successful careers and tidy homes. Somehow they manage to find time for socializing and self-care, too.

    You wonder how you’re barely holding it together while these moms are getting it all done — and then some. There’s an essential but under-discussed key to their success at home and at work: great child care.

    Recently, a few high-profile mom have peeled back the curtain to bring this conversation to light. Stars like Chrissy Teigen, Busy Philipps and Kaley Cuoco thanked their nannies and other caregivers on social media for allowing them to work and be the kind of parent they strive to be.

    “Grateful for all the people who make it possible for me to be the best mother I can possibly be,” Teigen wrote on Instagram on Mother’s Day. “I am endlessly thankful for your presence in this home and all our lives. we love you.”

    The same day Philipps wrote: “I wouldn’t have made it this far as a mom and a human without the incredible women who’ve helped me show up for my kids as my best self. Their love and care for my kids has allowed me to go to work and travel with the knowledge that the two humans most important to me will be taken care of.”

    Danielle Weisberg, co-founder and co-CEO of the digital media company theSkimm, shared a similar message in a June 5 Instagram post, writing that without her “fantastic” child care, “There is no way I could work the way I do — the hours, travel, mental space, stress, etc. — and still try to be the mom I want (/try) to be.”

    Her family’s support system includes a nanny they adore, relatives who live nearby and a part-time babysitter on the weekends. In the post, Weisberg called her care team “the backbone of my ability to work and still feel like a human (on good days).”

    Weisberg was inspired to talk about this after one of her followers commented, “I don’t know how you do it all,” in response to a picture she posted of her sons watching her on the “Today” show.

    “It hit me. I wasn’t transparently sharing what my day-to-day really looks like because if I did there’s no way they could think that I was doing it all,” Weisberg told HuffPost. “I certainly don’t feel like I am. The truth is no one can do it all. And I certainly don’t want to perpetuate the myth that you can or feel like you should have to.”

    It’s impossible to have a discussion about child care in the U.S. without talking about the exorbitant cost. Child care is a necessity for working parents, but many cannot afford it, which pushes people (mostly women) out of the workforce. And yet child care providers are “incredibly underpaid and undervalued,” as Stephanie Schmit, a child care expert at the Center for Law and Social Policy, told The New York Times.

    Recent proposed federal legislation included funding for child care costs, paid family leave and universal pre-kindergarten. But those provisions were cut from the final bill.

    Though some companies offer backup child care, on-site day care and strong parental leave policies, these benefits are the exception, not the rule. More support for families is needed.

    Why Being Transparent About Child Care Matters

    In the comments on Teigen’s, Philipps’ and Weisberg’s posts, many women wrote how grateful they were to see caregivers being recognized for the integral yet often behind-the-scenes role they play in families.

    Amber Noelle, a career nanny and host of the podcast “A Nanny’s Life,” told HuffPost that these posts make her “unbelievably proud.”

    “On one hand, I’m immensely proud of the work we do to both support and empower parents through parenthood,” Noelle said. “More importantly, I am so proud of parents who are transparent enough to acknowledge that raising tiny humans requires a village.”

    Highly visible parents opening up about what it takes to keep their households running helps to “normalize asking for help, hiring support and delegating some responsibilities,” Noelle said.

    Allison S. Gabriel is a professor at Purdue University’s Mitchell E. Daniels Jr. School of Business who studies women in the workplace. She said being transparent about child care arrangements “is so critical to help make the invisible visible.”

    “Often we look to high status or successful people with families, and we may have a knee-jerk reaction that they are just superhuman and able to do it all,” she told HuffPost. “But the reality is it takes a lot of support to raise a family and develop one’s career.”

    But The Onus To Talk About Child Care Shouldn’t Be On Women

    Historically, moms have been the ones tasked with care-taking duties. And even women who work outside the home today are usually responsible for figuring out child care arrangements.

    Moms are also the ones expected to be forthcoming about the support they have. This is a double standard, given that men also benefit from the child care providers in their lives.

    “It is fantastic that women are giving recognition to their care teams, but it is often because we still have societal norms where we ask questions of women such as, ‘Who watches your kids when you’re working?’ or ‘How can you juggle work and family?’ Gabriel said.

    “We often don’t ask these questions of men, despite the fact that they are likely to also be benefiting from having support behind the scenes,” she added.

    Carly Zakin, Weisberg’s business parter at theSkimm, pointed to an article she read recently with a headline “that insinuated women were hiding the fact that they have help — from nannies to housekeepers to chefs,” she told HuffPost.

    “And I had this reaction that this is something you’d never call men out for. Because historically they have leaned on their wives to handle all the child care and housekeeping responsibilities. It really made us stop and think about how women have been shamed and made to feel guilty if they can’t handle balancing their careers with having a family and managing the household.”

    It’s not that women are hiding the support they have, Zakin said, “it’s because no one’s talking about it.”

    Moms are often caught in this double-bind. Either they try to manage work, kids and the household stuff on their own and end up totally overwhelmed, or they get support and feel guilty that they couldn’t hack it alone.

    Weisberg said she’s been on both sides of the equation.

    “I have fallen into two buckets. The first is not having enough of the right support or resources and then feeling the overwhelming weight of responsibility and anxiety because of it,” she said. “The other is feeling guilty or ashamed of the amount of support that I have and then feeling like I’m not doing it all and I’m cheating. Neither of these are good. And it’s not what I want others to feel.”

    For change to happen, it’s crucial for dads to be a part of the child care conversation, too.

    “The more women and men talk about the complexities of child care — and how challenging it can be — the better,” Gabriel said, in order to “nudge organizations” to offer much-needed child care support for their employees.

    Weisberg and Zakin are hoping to start an open dialogue about child care within their community and beyond.

    “We need it as a society, and it hasn’t been made accessible,” they said. “The more transparent we all are, the more we can stop feeling guilty for needing help and start seeing that for women to stay in the workplace, it’s largely unsustainable unless we have some type of child care support.”

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  • Flexible work is feminist–and women won’t return to a system that hasn’t served them well to spare the feelings of powerful men

    Flexible work is feminist–and women won’t return to a system that hasn’t served them well to spare the feelings of powerful men

    For the first 15 years of my career, I commuted into an office every day. This meant that by the time I had children, my workplace contributions were invisible to them. All they noticed was my absence, not my leadership skills at work. I missed a lot, too: Some days I left the house before they woke up to make it to my first meeting, or walked in the door too late to hear the highs and lows of their days.

    Now that I take fundraising, hiring, and sales calls from home a few days each week while my daughters do homework or play in the next room, they have exposure to the reality of my work. I hope the lessons they are learning about work and its place in a full life will have a positive impact on them in the years to come. 

    As the return-to-office movement gained steam over the past few months, bosses don’t understand why people aren’t returning to the office. They’re voicing concerns over productivity, creativity, culture, advancement, and mentoring–and even asserting that the remote and hybrid work experiment of the past few years has reinforced the critical importance of sitting in an office. Wall Street executive Steven Rattner questioned the effectiveness of remote work, relying on statements from Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, and JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon to further his argument. More recently, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman called remote work “one of the tech industry’s work mistakes.”

    It’s probably not a surprise that employees don’t feel similarly–new research shows that employees still aren’t permitted to work remotely as much as they’d like. And it is hardly a coincidence that the demographic which benefited most from the old system has also expressed the most anxiety about changing it. But we shouldn’t confuse the feelings of powerful men with facts.

    Despite all of the efforts of the feminist movement that have spanned generations, the reality is that it still largely falls on women to challenge gender inequities in society. Women are still trying to do it all, despite CEOs preserving work arrangements that are outdated and counterproductive when it comes to modern families and changing gender roles. By reimagining when, where, and even how we work, we can make meaningful progress toward gender equality and address the dramatic underrepresentation of women and people of all genders in our companies, particularly at the most senior levels. 

    We’ve been stuck in the same corporate work norms since the late 1940s when many families could live comfortably on one paycheck and just a third of women worked outside of the home. While so much else has changed (women entering the labor force in record numbers in the late 1960s; the Anita Hill Senate hearing in 1991 that centered the movement around the compounding effects of race and class, the internet revolution, a pandemic that sent millions of workers home and yet didn’t crater the economy), we are being told the only way to work is to return to a schedule invented with the Model T.  

    The case for flexible work has a social and moral imperative. It helps retain women, reduces burnout, and makes it easier to have children and deliver on caregiving responsibilities. According to a recent survey of female hybrid workers that combine in-office and remote work, 88% believe the flexibility of hybrid work is an equalizer in the workplace, and two-thirds say it has had a positive impact on their career growth path. Flexible work provides greater opportunities for career advancement across gender lines and increases the number of women in leadership, which is good for business. Companies with more women in leadership have more engaged workers and are more profitable.

    Ninety percent of women want the ability to work remotely, including fully remote or hybrid-work options, and with it have experienced an increased sense of belonging, greater psychological safety, and, thanks to less unstructured time with colleagues, fewer microaggressions. This is even more pronounced for women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and women with disabilities. Support for flexibility and the ability to work remotely is inextricably tied to gender equality and benefits us all: women, men, and marginalized genders. 

    The primary breadwinner role is disappearing, with 29% of opposite-sex couples earning the same amount of money and women out-earning their husband in 16% of marriages, and yet, women still spend two more hours on caregiving and 2.5 more hours on housework. Whether a stay-at-home mother or one that works outside the home, mothers still take on the lion’s share of caregiving and domestic responsibilities, even though that work continues to be woefully undervalued, underappreciated, and undercompensated.

    For opposite-sex couples with two wage earners, remote work supports gender equality at home by increasing a mother’s paid labor and increasing a father’s domestic labor. Fathers who work from home more frequently perform a greater share of housework and childcare, and their partners are more likely to be employed and work more hours in paid labor. There’s more: Children benefit long term economically and socially when their mother works outside of the home: daughters are more likely to be employed, be supervisors, and earn more, and sons spend more time doing chores around the house and taking care of family members. 

    To be sure, flexibility can go wrong, especially if employers reward the people who spend more time in the office with all of the raises, promotions, and plum assignments. In such a scenario, flexibility could inadvertently contribute to a gender gap in pay and advancement. Proximity bias, the unconscious tendency to favor those that are physically closer to us, is a real pitfall and can lead to two classes of workers that break down by gender and race, with the less favored class being women and workers of color. 

    At the individual level, the benefits of flexibility for employees don’t always hold. When your commute only requires you to walk a few feet and open your laptop, it’s easy to extend your work day, which can have a negative impact on well-being and increase conflict between work and family, particularly for women. Anyone who has tried to work from the middle of their kitchen table knows how challenging it can be to focus when you’re not in a dedicated workplace, especially if you can’t access or afford childcare.

    But these downsides are worth the tradeoffs. The real reason flexible work arrangements haven’t worked or have led to a perception among CEOs of poorer outcomes is that companies haven’t invested in the education, practices, and policies which promote gender equity and improve their workplaces, such as paid leave and mentorship programs. Flexible work certainly isn’t the only key to a more gender-equal society but it’s a hell of a lot better for the most marginalized workers.

    The data on hybrid and remote work arrangements is “at best inconclusive,” which Rattner himself concedes. Flexible work isn’t an excuse for workers to do less work, but rather for them to do more life–more focused work, more family time, and a greater focus on their well-being. It’s not a rejection of work, but a renouncement of a system that hasn’t served us well. 

    It’s within the power of companies and CEOs to recast the “ideal” worker, value workers who shoulder domestic and caregiving responsibilities, support flexible work arrangements and policies and equip managers to lead through the multidimensional challenges of flexible work. 

    However, the onus is not just on CEOs. All workers, when and where possible, can support flexible work by choosing it for themselves and empowering colleagues to work when and where they need to.

    We must destigmatize flexible work and prevent it from becoming another mommy track, a career path for mothers that offers flexible work at the expense of career advancement–or even worse, another version of the tired misogynist trope “women belong in the house.”

    Flexible work will continue to be a win for women as long as it doesn’t come with penalties, like slower paths to promotions or relegating women to pink-collar fields. And like parental leave, men need to take it without consequence, too, in order to support gender equity and make a powerful statement about the value of caregiving.

    Three years ago, flexible work was novel. Two years ago, it was normal. Today, it’s necessary. Our future workplaces–the ones my children and yours will inherit–rely on us to get this right. 

    Erin Grau is the co-founder and Chief Operating Officer of Charter, a future-of-work media and research company.

    The opinions expressed in Fortune.com commentary pieces are solely the views of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Fortune.

    More must-read commentary published by Fortune:

    Erin Grau

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  • What Working Moms at Your Company Really Need This Mother’s Day | Entrepreneur

    What Working Moms at Your Company Really Need This Mother’s Day | Entrepreneur

    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    As the aromatic scent of Mother’s Day roses begins to waft through the air, let’s ponder on a different kind of bouquet we could offer our hardworking mothers. Picture this: a bouquet of flexible work options, wrapped up in the velvety petals of understanding and empathy. Now that’s a gift that keeps on giving!

    The surprising state of motherhood

    The latest State of Motherhood report from Motherly, with almost 10,000 mother respondents, paints an interesting picture. The number of stay-at-home mothers nearly doubled from 2022 to 2023, leaping from 15% to 25%. The pendulum of motherhood, it seems, has swung back to its norm, staying within the typical range of 24% to 28%. Last year was the outlier, a remarkable blip on the radar, with a significantly lower number of stay-at-home moms.

    Why? Because mothers were armed with the magic wand of work flexibility. As more companies are herding their employees back to the office, some mothers find themselves in a tight corner. With no other choice, they take on the full-time job of caring for their kids, triggering an exodus from the workforce.

    According to Jill Koziol, Motherly CEO and cofounder, “In 2022, mothers were riding the wave of flexible or hybrid work arrangements, relics from the pandemic era. With the abrupt return to in-office work, it seems the invoice was sent directly to the mothers.”

    That’s what I tell my clients who are deciding whether to have a flexible or inflexible return to office plan: if they don’t offer mothers flexibility, a large number will leave the workforce. It’s an inevitable consequence of a top-down mandate.

    Related: You Should Let Your Team Decide Their Approach to Hybrid Work. A Behavioral Economist Explains Why and How You Should Do It.

    Who paid the price?

    In our rush to return to “normal,” we may overlook the cost of such transitions. The Motherly survey tells a tale of a quiet, yet impactful departure from the workforce. And the numbers don’t lie. A full 18% of mothers changed jobs or left the workforce entirely last year. Some may read this statistic and shrug, but let’s dive deeper into the why.

    For 28% of these mothers, the desire to be at home with their kids was the driving force. On the surface, this seems like a personal choice, and indeed it is. But underneath, there’s a complex network of factors at play, including the lack of flexible work options.

    For 15% of mothers, the absence of childcare options was the deal breaker. This isn’t a minor inconvenience. It’s a roadblock that slams the brakes on a mother’s career, often with long-term consequences.

    Related: Why Employers Forcing a Return to Office is Leading to More Worker Power and Unionization

    The flexibility factor

    And yet, the solution isn’t as elusive as it may seem. The Motherly survey found that 64% of stay-at-home moms would return to the workforce if offered flexible work schedules. The mere availability of flexible work isn’t a bonus or a perk. It’s a powerful lever that can significantly alter the employment landscape for mothers.

    Imagine the impact. Thousands of mothers re-entering the workforce, contributing their skills, perspectives, and ideas. Thousands of families gaining additional financial security. It’s a win-win situation, and all it requires is a shift in perspective, a reevaluation of our rigid work structures.

    An alternative approach is improving the affordability of childcare. Over half, 52% of the mothers surveyed, would return to work if affordable childcare was available — less so than if offered flexibility, but still a large chunk. The current system, where childcare costs often eat up a significant portion of a paycheck, is untenable for many families.

    But this isn’t an issue that individual families should shoulder alone. Employers, policymakers, and society at large all have a role to play in creating solutions. This might include employer-sponsored childcare, subsidies, or policies that help bring down the cost of childcare. Thus, individual employers who are unwilling to be flexible should offer childcare support: they won’t get the full benefits of flexibility, missing out on 12% of working moms, but they will get most of the benefits.

    Conclusion

    Of course, most companies won’t be able to afford that expense. So here’s a radical idea for this Mother’s Day. Instead of the typical gifts, let’s consider giving mothers something that will truly make a difference: flexible work. It doesn’t cost the company more money — instead, flexible work saves money, to the tune of up to $11,000 per employee. This isn’t a gift that’s given once and forgotten. It’s a gift that keeps on giving, day after day, month after month. It’s a gift that acknowledges the realities of motherhood and the value of a mother’s contribution to the workforce. Let’s make this Mother’s Day the start of a new era. An era where we don’t just pay lip service to the importance of work-life balance, but actively create the conditions that make it possible. An era where flexible work isn’t an exception, but the norm.

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    Gleb Tsipursky

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