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  • Reviews For The Easily Distracted: The Fall Guy

    Reviews For The Easily Distracted: The Fall Guy

    Title: The Fall Guy

    Heather Thomas or Heather Locklear? Heather Graham

    Brief Plot Synopsis: He’s not the kind to kiss and tell, but he’s been seen with Emily.

    Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 3.5 praying hand emojis out of 5.

    Tagline: “Fall hard.”

    Better Tagline: “Fun, dumb, and full of stunts.”

    Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Colt Seavers (Ryan Gosling) had it all: a flourishing career as stunt double for action star Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnston) and a relationship with cameraperson Jody Moreno (Emily Blunt). But after breaking his back during a stunt gone awry, he abandons both. That is, until mega-producer Gail Myer (Hannah Waddingham) tells him Jody is now a director, and wants Colt to come join the production of her new movie in Australia. Two problems: Jody didn’t *actually* ask for him, and Ryder — the star of the picture — has disappeared.
    “Critical” Analysis: Gosling and Blunt have finally buried their Barbenheimer hatchet by appearing in a movie together. The Fall Guy, directed by former stunt dude David Leitch, is an action-comedy in the truest sense of both words. The stunt sequences are suitably pants-dampening, and the jokes are unforced and effective, thanks in large part to the chemistry between our leads.

    Though it’s a little dicey at the outset. The opening titles kick off with the extremely disagreeable “I Was Made For Loving You” by Kiss. And if that wasn’t a bad enough omen, it’s the signature tune of the film, with remixes popping up alongside songs like “Thunderstruck,” a karaoke version of “Against All Odds” (performed by Blunt), and other selections likely to appeal to people in Leitch’s age group.

    *cough*

    Butt-rock selections aside, Leitch deftly weaves Colt’s onscreen punishment with a surprisingly satisfying romantic arc. It’s easy to chalk it up to the snappy dialogue between Gosling and Blunt, but it’s more likely they’re just naturally charismatic people. Blunt was able to convincingly portray being in love with *John Krasinski*, for crying out loud. And Gosling’s greatest onscreen romance was clearly with Russell Crowe.

    Speaking of bad ’80s decisions, calling Jody’s breakthrough movie Metalstorm has to be an in-joke for Reagan era nerds, right? Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (spoiler!)? Not to be confused with Megaforce? Fun fact: in my rabbit-holing for this review, I learned that Jared-Syn was played by Michael Preston, who was Pappagallo in The Road Warrior! Maybe five of you care, but I thought that was pretty rad.

    This version of Metalstorm sounds distinctly dumber than the original (if you can believe that), but that’s part of The Fall Guy’s charm. This movie-inside-a-movie approach allows Leitch to wink at the camera in a slightly less meta way than he did in Deadpool 2. Or almost, such as when Colt ruminates on why there’s no Academy Award for stunt performers

    It’s also a bit of an insulting premise that Gosling isn’t good looking enough to be a lead (and hence, is eclipsed by Tom Ryder). Then again, Taylor-Johnson is quite the hunk.

    And it’s just as well that The Fall Guy doesn’t take anything too seriously, because the key romantic conflict — Colt’s failure to reach out to Jody after his accident — is hardly “cheating on her with her best friend” territory. The guy was going through an existential crisis, for pity’s sake. So let he who hasn’t ghosted someone after 18 months cast the first stone.

    Also: 18 months? Didn’t Batman heal his own broken back in, like, six weeks?

    The Fall Guy is a rarity these days: a mainstream popcorn flick that appeals to just about everyone. With some brains, a lot of heart, old school stunt work, and an authentic romance, it’s some real old-fashioned moviemaking, and a less maudlin look at the industry than Hal Needham’s Hooper.

    Could’ve used more bar brawls, though.

    The Fall Guy is in theaters today.

    Pete Vonder Haar

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  • Things We Saw Today: We Have Lost the Green Ranger

    Things We Saw Today: We Have Lost the Green Ranger

    Jason David Frank as the Green Ranger

    In heartbreaking news, Jason David Frank, the original Green Power Ranger (and subsequently White Ranger) passed away this morning. According to reports from TMZ and Facebook posts from people close to him and his family, he took his own life. Millennials and Gen Z have been mourning the loss of one of their earliest childhood heroes today. Remembering their favorite Power Rangers episodes and celebrating a fallen icon. Rest in peace, Jason David Frank. We will miss you. – TMZ

    Transgender flags fluttering in the wind at International Transgender Day of Visibility.

    It is also Trans Awareness Day (and week) which is always a somber time for reflection and remembrance of those in our community that we have lost to violence and suicide. It hits especially today after Club Q, an LGBTQ bar and safe space, was attacked last night. The shooter, Anderson Lee Aldrich, murdered five people and wounded eighteen others. Hug your friends and chosen family and tell them that you love them. Those that have been lost will always rest in power. – CNN

    For your daily dose of WTFery, please look at this pie chart that has Twitter up in arms. Please look at the bottom row. Please answer me this, what the HELL is “moosemeat pie.” I feel like Canadians are to blame for this somehow. Also they left the best pie, Blackberry Pie, off the list entirely so the whole thing is a sham!

    Winston Duke, star of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, delighted anime fans by revealing that he too is a confirmed weeb. There was much rejoicing.

    And finally, Peter Weir, the director of classics like Dead Poets Society, Witness, and The Truman Show, was awarded an honorary Oscar at this year’s Governor’s Awards. Oh captain, my captain! It is about damn time.

    (Image: 20th Century Fox)

    Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

    Brittany Knupper

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  • Rihanna, Johnny Depp and Savage X Fenty Vol. 4

    Rihanna, Johnny Depp and Savage X Fenty Vol. 4

    Although Rihanna has seemingly side-stepped attempts at cancelling her existence after reports revealed that Johnny Depp would be in the Vol. 4 edition of the Savage X Fenty fashion show, some will still find it difficult to stomach Depp’s appearance. Which is somewhat ironic considering how much the public relished the schadenfreude of lambasting Amber Heard for being a “liar and a fraud” during the Depp v. Heard defamation trial that concluded back in June of this year. When, suddenly, Depp looked all shiny and new (read: employable) again upon winning the trial. It didn’t take long, however, for many to understand that vilifying Heard was largely to the benefit of misogynists (which, sadly, also includes many women).

    Ones who continue to wield this case as a key example of women being “cunts” not to be trusted or believed. And, to be clear, those touting Depp v. Heard as a “much-needed” beacon of light for men who are abused by women, one ought to consider that a five-foot-eight, one hundred sixty(-plus)-pound man can’t really get all that “hurt” (at least not without weaponry) by someone of Heard’s stature. This isn’t to say women aren’t capable of kicking an ass when necessary, it’s just that one gets the impression Heard was engaging in the same type of maneuvers as Katie (Soleil Moon Frye) in that Friends episode, “The One with the Girl Who Hits Joey”—wherein Joey (Matt LeBlanc) keeps insisting Katie punches him too hard when doing it “playfully.” A claim that, what a surprise, gets validated in Joey’s favor.

    In any event, let’s rewind to 2009, when Rihanna herself was the victim of an abusive relationship (and yes, regardless of what people say, Depp was abusive toward Heard, even if “only” verbally…since the physical abuse revealed wasn’t deemed “enough”). Her then-boyfriend, Chris Brown, smacked the shit out of her to such a degree that she couldn’t even pretend to carry on for a scheduled appearance at the Grammys. Cut to 2012-2013, when Rihanna decided to give Brown another chance (resulting in a very uncomfortable musical collaboration on Unapologetic called “Nobody’s Business”). In many ways, that’s what putting Depp in Savage X Fenty Vol. 4 feels like. Another conduit through which to “forgive.” Though, of course, Rihanna apologists would like to say that being a “true” survivor of domestic abuse, she can recognize who has actually been an abuser versus who has suffered abuse. With some (okay, many) saying Depp is the real victim in the scenario. In other words, whatever one needs to tell themselves in order to “comfortably” watch Depp participating in new projects.

    Brief though this particular appearance from Depp may be, perhaps the most disturbing element about it is the fact that Rihanna opted to soundtrack his arrival to Outkast’s “So Fresh, So Clean.” For those who might have forgotten the arrogant, “dapper” lyrics, they boast, “Ain’t nobody dope as me/I’m just so fresh and clean/Don’t you think I’m so sexy?/I’m just so fresh and clean.” Obviously, Depp is anything but these two descriptors, which is why Rihanna trying to help “rebrand” him as such feels so cringe. The placement of his “cameo” also seems tailored in such a way as to make viewers largely gloss over it, as it comes neither too close to the beginning nor near the end. Instead, Rihanna wastes no time in announcing that she’s the star of the show as she makes her grand entrance to the very problematic ASAP Rocky song, “D.M.B.” (in case you couldn’t guess, the abbreviation stands for “dats my bitch” or, if you must, “DAT$ MAH B!*$H”). In addition to such gross (and, yes, misogynistic) lyrics as, “Roll my blunt, fill my cup, be my bitch, rub my gut/Rub yo’ butt, be my slut, be my cunt, yeah, so what?,” ASAP also declares, “Bad girls wanna have fun.” This being repeated in remix form as Rihanna does her “dance”/strut against the forest tableau that takes up most of the show. Through this not-so-subtle act of including the theoretically “Bonnie and Clyde”-oriented tone from the outset, Rihanna makes it clear, once again, what her taste in men tends to favor (extending toward none other than Depp).

    With that performance out of the way, Rihanna allows room for Precious Lee, who models one of many patterns to the tune of “Lick It N Split” by Zebra Katz and Shygirl. Upon Precious being thrust up against a tree, the song then transitions to the chaotic “Crazy” by Doechii. Men running through the forest with women slung under over their backs seems, evidently, the best way to match this track’s energy. And yet, it also offers more symbolism about what appears to be Rihanna’s own internalized sense of misogyny as women come across as being utterly disposable playthings in such a scene. The pendulum of that sentiment, however, shifts when Missy Elliott’s “Hot Boyz” starts to play—or rather, the sentiment would shift if Damson Idris didn’t materialize in purple pajamas at the center of a group of harem-like women. For “Hot Boyz,” the inverse permutation would be required, with a woman at the center of multiple men instead.

    The intent to make every scene of the spectacle present itself as visceral and exotic persists with Anitta. And it only takes about six minutes for the sex-positive Brazilian pop singer to offer her ass to the camera as she sings “Practice” (usually featuring another ASAP, Ferg). The song in question undeniably includes the ideal lyrics for promoting lingerie: “We don’t make babies, but we practice.” She then segues into “Envolver” before more animation (complete with a woman being “enfolded” into a tree) appears to transition us into the next batch of designs to parade. This time, with Cara Delevingne at the center of it all as Nas’ “Oochie Wally” fades into 50 Cent’s “Just A Lil Bit.” It’s here that Taraji P. Henson then leads a line of cavorting women with interconnecting braids (it’s all very elaborate).

    Don Toliver subsequently enters into the “majestic forest” with a performance of “Take Your Time,” another lingerie-appropriate track that urges, “Let’s do it baby/Let’s do it tonight/Take me to your crib and we can party all night.” Like Anitta, Toliver also gets to promote two songs, opting for “Way Bigger” as the second one, during which he provides more salacious lyrics tailored to shilling bras and panties. Case in point, “With a bad bitch through the whole pandemic/Lemme hit the hole through the whole ninth inning/Eatin’ and beatin’ the whole night swimmin’.” And this, unfortunately, is what takes us to the Depp part of the show. Which comes at a strategic moment in that Rihanna has already stacked the “fashion parade” with plenty of other cameos, including Taylour Paige, who offers a very memorable monologue before sauntering in “bad bitch mode” to Dave featuring Stormzy’s “Clash.”

    Following that, at the twenty-minute mark (halfway through it all), Depp is “blessed” with his screen time. As previously mentioned, Rihanna ill-advisedly opted to soundtrack Depp’s entrance with Outkast’s “So Fresh So Clean”—and yes, even Depp has a look on his face that seems to say, “What am I doing here?” After he does a reluctant “catwalk” through the forest and concludes with hugging a tree (perhaps dendrophilia is his latest flame), another animation sequence arrives. One that fittingly displays some kind of rupture in the universe—this being precisely what has happened with the verdict of the Depp v. Heard trial. After we’re shown the formation of some crystals in cartoon form that become the real-life backdrop of the next set, the scene gives way to a portion of Vol. 4 that does a better job of accenting bombastic maquillage than it does lingerie.

    The mood shifts thanks to more animation that provides a cartoon version of Maxwell underwater trying to get his hands on a yellow ball that bursts as he’s then sucked from one hole into another (interpret that metaphor how you will). He then emerges from the next water realm inside that very yellow ball now scaled to a far more massive size. It then shoots up into the sky like a comet so that the real Maxwell can serve as the penultimate performer (of “Whenever, Wherever, Whatever”) amid a backdrop of some very phallic cacti.

    The seductive, “drop them panties” attitude continues with Janet Jackson’s “Would You Mind” as a dancer very orgasmically quivers right when Janet utters that very word (“quiver”). Afterward, Jackson’s “Throb” leads us into one of the most flagrantly suggestive animation sequences involving rocket ships and explosions. The wildin’ out choreography continues almost as a means to distract from how this season’s collection isn’t quite as impressive as the one in Vol. 3 (replete with Busta Rhymes songs, to boot). Nonetheless, the choreography is admittedly fire—and continues to be as DJ Blue’s “Look Like You,” Konshens and J Capri’s “Pull Up to Mi Bumper” and Oxlade’s “Ku Lo Sa” play before Burna Boy rounds out the show with, what else, “Last Last” (and “It’s Plenty”).  

    The “yellow” segment comprises the finale, featuring Lilly Singh as the initial “centerpiece” of the motif. Yellow, incidentally, representing the color of cowardice—let the viewer be the judge of whether or not Rihanna is either “brave” or cowardly for certain casting decisions in this edition…

    For the conclusion, Rihanna opts to close the show with SOPHIE’s “Not Okay” (interpolated with Omarion’s “Touch”). Almost like a subconscious admission of the fact that what she’s done is, well, not okay. And while she might consider herself a champion of artistic freedom or some such, it’s rather a shame that what is actually a very beautifully-presented show should be besmirched with the mark of Depp’s presence. Providing another open invitation for abusers to reemerge once they’re either 1) able to flip the switch on the woman that “falsely accused” them or 2) enough time passes for the public memory to be “just hazy enough” to forget. Though it would take a lot of weed to create the haze necessary to forget about Depp declaring to Heard, “I pushed you” or “I headbutted you in the fucking forehead. That doesn’t break a nose.” Which, honestly, is the last image one wants to have in their head during “sexy time” (not to mention the automatic correlation with Depp to a shit on the bed).

    Genna Rivieccio

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