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Tag: well-being

  • The CEOs of Apple, Airbnb, and PepsiCo agree on one thing: life as a business leader is incredibly lonely | Fortune

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    Being CEO has its many perks: Business leaders get to command the world’s most powerful companies, shape their legacies as pioneers of industry, and enjoy hefty billion-dollar paychecks. But in the steep climb up the corporate ladder, many won’t notice all the peers left behind until they’re looking down from the very top. It can be a lonely, solitary job.

    Leaders at some of the world’s largest companies—from Airbnb and UPS to PepsiCo and Apple—are finally opening up about the mental toll that comes with the job. As it turns out, many industry trailblazers are grappling with intense loneliness; at least 40% of executives are thinking of leaving their job, mainly because they’re lacking energy and feel alone in handling daily challenges, according to a Harvard Medical School professor. And the number could even be higher: About 70% of C-suite leaders “are seriously considering quitting for a job that better supports their well-being,” according to a 2022 Deloitte study. 

    To ward off feelings of isolation, founders and top executives are stepping outside of the office to focus on improving their well-being. Toms founder Blake Mycoskie struggled with depression and loneliness after scaling his once-small shoe business into a billion-dollar behemoth. Feeling disconnected from his life’s purpose and that his “reason for being now felt like a job,” he went on a three-day men’s retreat to work on his mental health. And Seth Berkowitz, the founder and CEO of $350 million dessert giant Insomnia Cookies, cautions bright-eyed entrepreneurs the gig “is not really for everyone.” 

    “It can be lonely; it’s a solitary life. It really is,” Berkowitz recently told Fortune.

    Brian Chesky, cofounder and CEO of Airbnb

    Eugene Gologursky / Stringer / Getty Images

    Airbnb’s cofounder and CEO Brian Chesky is one the most outspoken leaders in the business world waving the red flag on loneliness. Chesky described having a lonely childhood, pulled between his love for creative design and sports, never really fitting in. But his mental health took a turn for the worse once assuming the throne as Airbnb’s CEO. His other two cofounders—who he called his “family,” spending all their waking hours working, exercising, and hanging out together—were suddenly out of view from the peak of the C-suite. 

    “As I became a CEO I started leading from the front, at the top of the mountain, but then the higher you get to the peak, the fewer the people there are with you,” Chesky told Jay Shetty during an episode of the On Purpose podcast last year. “No one ever told me how lonely you would get, and I wasn’t prepared for that.”

    Chesky recommends budding leaders actually share their power, so no one shoulders the mental burden of entrepreneurship alone. 

    “I think that ultimately, today, we’re probably living in one of the loneliest times in human history,” Chesky said. “If people were as lonely in yesteryear as they are today, they’d probably perish, because you just couldn’t survive without your tribe.”

    Indra Nooyi, former CEO of PepsiCo

    Jemal Countess / Stringer / Getty Images

    Leaders at Fortune 500 giant PepsiCo face constant pressure from consumers, investors, board members, and their own employees. But it’s also tough to vent to peers who may not relate to—or even understand—the trials and tribulations of running a $209 billion company. Indra Nooyi, the business’ former CEO, said she often felt isolated with no one to confide in.

    “You can’t really talk to your spouse all the time. You can’t talk to your friends because it’s confidential stuff about the company. You can’t talk to your board because they are your bosses. You can’t talk to people who work for you because they work for you,” Nooyi told Kellogg Insight, the research magazine for Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, earlier this year. “And so it puts you in a fairly lonely position.”

    Instead of divulging to a trusted friend or anonymously airing out her frustrations on Reddit, Nooyi looked inward. She was the only person she could trust, even if that meant embracing the isolation. 

    “I would talk to myself. I would go look at myself in a mirror. I would talk to myself. I would rage at myself. I would shed a few tears, then put on some lipstick and come out,” Nooyi said. “That was my go-to because all people need an outlet. And you have to be very careful who your outlet is because you never want them to use it against you at any point.”

    Carol Tomé, CEO of UPS

    Kevin Dietsch / Staff / Getty Images

    Before Carol Tomé stepped into the role of the CEO of UPS, she was warned the top job goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. The word of caution didn’t phase her—at least, not at first. But things changed when she actually took the helm of the $75 billion shipping company. 

    “I would say, ‘How lonely can it really be? It can’t be that lonely?’ What I’ve since learned is that it is extraordinarily lonely,” Tomé told Fortune last year. 

    “When you are a member of an executive team, you hang together…Now, my executive team will wait for me to leave a meeting so that they can debrief together. It’s the reality and you have to get used to it. But it is super lonely.”

    Tim Cook, CEO of Apple

    NurPhoto / Contributor / Getty Images

    Apple CEO Tim Cook isn’t immune to the loneliness that often comes with the corner office. More than 14 years into his tenure, he’s acknowledged his missteps, which he called “blind spots,” that have the potential to affect thousands of workers across the company if left unchecked. Cook said it’s important for leaders to get out of their own heads and surround themselves with bright people who bring out the best in them. 

    “It’s sort of a lonely job,” Cook told The Washington Post in 2016. “The adage that it’s lonely—the CEO job is lonely—is accurate in a lot of ways. I’m not looking for any sympathy.”

    Seth Berkowitz, founder and CEO of Insomnia Cookies

    Courtesy of Insomnia Cookies

    Entrepreneurship can be a deeply fulfilling and rewarding journey: an opportunity to trade a nine-to-five job for a multimillion-dollar fortune, if all the right conditions are met. And while Insomnia Cookies’ Seth Berkowitz loves being a CEO and all the responsibilities that come with it, he cautioned young hopefuls about the weight of the career. He, like Cook, advises aspiring founders to counter loneliness with genuine, meaningful connections.

    “It can be lonely; it’s a solitary life. It really is. [During] the harder times, it’s very solitary—finding camaraderie, mentorship, some sense of community, it’s really important,” Berkowitz recently told Fortune. “Because I go so deep, it’s sometimes hard to find others and let them in.”

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    Emma Burleigh

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  • 6 Rituals to Get Back on Track When You Feel Overwhelmed

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    This evening I have to get on a flight to go to my cousin’s wedding. But before I make it to the airport there are approximately a million things I need to accomplish: finish this column, pack, send a bunch of emails, call the plumber. The list is overwhelming. With so much to get done it would be helpful if my brain were performing at its peak. 

    So is it? 

    Not at all. As is often when I am at my busiest, my brain has gone foggy. Figuring out what to do next and then completing each task feels like wading through mental mud. 

    Why is it that our brains are often far from operating at their best when we need them most? And more importantly what’s to be done about it? Science offers both an explanation and a suggestion for how to get your brain working again when you feel overwhelmed — an anti-busyness ritual. 

    The science of ‘overwhelm freeze’ 

    University of Massachusetts professor of medicine Jon Kabat-Zinn defines overwhelm as the feeling that “our lives are somehow unfolding faster than the human nervous system and psyche are able to manage well.”

    It’s a definition a lot of us instantly recognize from our own lives. Researcher and best-selling author Brené Brown knows the feeling well. 

    “In overwhelm, it’s hard to respond when people ask ‘How can I help?’ or ‘What needs to be done?’ Responding with organized thoughts feels impossible,” she reflected on her blog. Instead of strategizing or knocking through tasks, she finds herself “walking around in circles crying and talking to myself.” 

    Like Brown, when we start to fear that our resources are no match for the scale of the challenges in front of us, we can mentally freeze. Boston University psychologist Ellen Hendriksen explains that this tendency evolved as a response to predators. It makes no sense to freeze like a deer in the headlights when you’re overwhelmed with work. But your brain doesn’t know the difference between stress from a hungry lion and from a too long to-do list. 

    “Our bodies react to threat the same way, whether the threat is external, like the proverbial saber-toothed tiger, or the threat is internal,” she told The New York Times. The result is what psychologists calls ‘overwhelm freeze,’ and what I call a very untimely brain malfunction. 

    Try an anti-busyness ritual 

    What do you do when your muscles tense up and your minds starts spinning in circles? Nothing is the simplest and best answer, according to Kabat-Zinn. Staring out your window or going for a stroll for 10 minutes can help your overwhelmed brain settle down and deliver clear thoughts again. 

    But if you need something a little more instant, sociologist Christine Carter suggests an anti-busyness ritual. “When the pace of life seems to be taking off without you, create a ritual to help you feel more in control,” she has written.

    Her own is simple: “When I start to feel pressured for time… I stretch my neck (first by looking to the left, and then to the right, and then by tipping my left ear to my left shoulder and my right ear to my right shoulder). I exhale deeply with each stretch, and then center my head, and straighten my posture. On my last exhale, I think to myself: ‘I have plenty of time.’” 

    It might not sound like much, but Carter insists it’s enough to break the merry-go-round of anxiety that keeps her from moving ahead effectively. Plus, studies show that simple, entirely secular rituals — like writing down a regret and physically throwing it away — have surprisingly large effects on our thoughts and moods. 

    5 more overwhelm-busting rituals 

    So what other anti-busyness can you try when you’re hit with overwhelm freeze? 

    • Explain it  to your inner teenager. Hendriksen advises looking at your to-do list and explaining the next steps to yourself as if you were giving “instructions to a teenager who doesn’t really want to do it.” Breaking down a task into ridiculously small components makes it far less likely to overwhelm you. 
    • Touch something alive. Some grass, your dog, the plant on your desk. Even the smallest connection to the natural world has been found to reduce stress. Plus, “touch anchors us. It reminds the nervous system that we’re here, now, and safe,” doctor Michael Hunter claims. That’s why psychologists often suggest paying close attention to your physical surroundings as an antidote to panic. 
    • Speak kindly to yourself. Science shows beating yourself up like a drill sergeant doesn’t help your performance. Self-compassion does. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, say a few kind words to yourself, maybe even out loud. “You’re doing OK.” You’re allowed to rest.” 
    • Read a poem. This is another suggestion from Hunter, who claims to keep a couple of poetry collections on his desk for this purpose. Poetry “lights up associative and sensory regions, pulling us out of rigid thought loops,” he insists. 
    • Stand in a patch of sun. Not the literary type? Hunter’s final suggestion should appeal to everyone but vampires — find a patch of sun and stand in it for 90 seconds. It’s hard to be frantic with warmth and light bathing your face. Neuroscience also shows sunlight helps regulate your body’s circadian rhythms, sharpening your focus and improving your mood. 

    Whatever anti-busyness ritual you choose, the goal is the same. You’re looking to knock your brain out of overwhelm mode and back to a calmer approach to tackling your to-do list. 

    The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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    Jessica Stillman

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  • Want to Live Longer? Move Closer to the Ocean 

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    If you want to increase your chances of living longer, there are all kinds of common-sense changes you can make to your life. As we all know, more exercise, vegetables, and socializing, and less booze, stress and cigarettes can hopefully buy you a few extra years. 

    But according to a new study there’s another change that might help you squeeze out another good year or two that you probably haven’t considered — living closer to the ocean. 

    It’s not exactly a secret that spending time near the ocean is pleasant and life-affirming for many people. Millions of us flock to the beach every summer for this very reason. But can the positive qualities of being near the sea actually add years to your life? 

    That’s what a team out of te Ohio State University recently aimed to determine with a huge number-crunching exercise. They gathered data on life expectancy and other demographic factors for more than 66,000 U.S. census tracts and also analyzed each area’s proximity to various bodies of water. Were there any links between the two, the team wanted to know. 

    Their results were recently published in Environmental Research, and the short answer is yes. The details were a bit more complicated. 

    You might expect living near a lake or river should have much the same effects on health and longevity as living near the ocean. People enjoy these kinds of places in much the same way, after all. But that’s not what the numbers showed. Seaside living has special benefits. Having a river pass through your town, not so much. 

    “Overall, the coastal residents were expected to live a year or more longer than the 79-year average, and those who lived in more urban areas near inland rivers and lakes were likely to die by about 78 or so,” commented  lead researcher Jianyong Wu.

    Why living near the ocean is so beneficial 

    Why does living within 30 miles of the sea appear uniquely beneficial? The researchers conducted a variety of statistical tests to try to untangle the reasons. 

    The most obvious answer is that many coastal areas are wildly expensive places to live. If you call Malibu or the Hamptons home ,you are probably rich, and being rich helps you live longer. 

    That’s definitely part of the explanation, according to the researchers, but it’s not all of it. Coastal areas also have fewer extremely hot and cold days, which stress the body, as well as better air quality. They also often have more facilities and opportunities for recreation. All of these factors likely contribute to keeping those who live near the ocean alive a little bit longer. 

    The ‘Blue Mind’ theory  

    Though it’s harder for number crunching to prove it, there may also be subtler psychological reasons being by the sea seems to help people live a bit longer too. As Wharton psychologist Adam Grant explained, “recent experiments show that after just two minutes of viewing water outdoors, blood pressure and heart rate drop. It’s more calming to look at a lake, pool, or stream than trees or grass. And wider bodies of water bring more tranquility.” 

    Grant is referencing something called the “Blue Mind” theory here. The idea, developed by marine biologist Wallace J. Nichols and others, is that the ocean was a particularly inviting environment for our distant ancestors. It provided plenty of easily gathered seafood to nourish us and the open landscape made it easier to move around and spot predators. 

    As a result, over millennia humans developed a deep affinity for coastal environments. Which is why being by any water seems to make us happy, but being by the ocean has the greatest calming — and therefore health-giving effect — of all. 

    Oceanside towns you can actually afford to live in 

    The authors of the Ohio State study don’t weigh in on whether humans have some deep psychic tie to the sea forged in our distant past. But they are clear in their conclusion that, whatever the mix of causes, living near the ocean is uniquely good for us in ways that living near a lake or river isn’t. 

    So good in fact that being near the ocean just might add a year or so to your life. 

    Taking advantage of this insight could, of course, be pretty pricey. Most coastal real estate is eye-wateringly expensive. But as Apartment Therapy points out, it doesn’t have to be. The real estate and design blog helpfully dug up 18 affordable beach towns where you might actually be able to make ends meet. 

    The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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    Jessica Stillman

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  • A Death Doula Shares the Joyful 1-Minute Daily Ritual She Learned From the Dying

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    This article describes how a simple one-minute daily ritual can make your life more peaceful and joyful. But bear with me as I kick things off with a request that is the opposite of joyful: Picture someone with a terminal diagnosis facing the imminent end of their life. 

    You’ve almost certainly imagined a sad scene with crying relatives, bitter regrets, and raging at fate. But according to Diane Button, a death doula who has spent decades guiding clients through the emotional and practical aspects of dying, our image of the usual deathbed mood is badly mistaken. There’s a whole lot more joy at the end of life than we expect, she insists.  

    “It’s surprising, but people at the end of life are some of the most joyful people I’ve ever known,” Button told Greater Good magazine in an interview promoting her new book, What Matters Most: Lessons That the Dying Teach Us About Living. 

    That joy comes, in part, because dying frees us from everyday worries. No one is thinking about their taxes or to-do list when they’re facing their mortality. But it’s also, she says, a reaction to the shortness of time. When people realize that they’re days on earth are limited, they proactively look for moments to savor. 

    It’s a comforting image of the end of life. But according to Button, the joyfulness of the dying is also a lesson for the living. We could all stand to borrow a little bit of the mindset of the dying, Button feels. She’s developed (and personally adopted) a one-minute daily ritual to do just that.  

    What the dying can teach the rest of us about joy

    People at the end of life are “consciously looking for joy. They’re not stuck in the past and they’re not fixated on the future. They’re here, they’re present,” reports Button. 

    Which sounds lovely. And familiar. Just about every self-help guru and happiness expert out there will tell you to practice gratitude and mindfulness. (Inc. writers too.) And for good reason. A bucketload of psychological research shows these practices to be some of the most effective happiness and well-being boosters out there. 

    But as we all know, when you’re in the midst of a busy, stressful life, it can be incredibly hard to keep your mind on the positive and the present. 

    You don’t want to have a grave medical diagnosis remind you of the importance of focusing on joy now. But most of us could use a gentler nudge to get out of our heads and appreciate the world around us. Handily, Button offers one that even the busiest of us can squeeze into our days. 

    A 1-minute daily ritual to reset your perspective 

    When Greater Good asked Button what changes she’s made in her own life as a result of her years spent working with the dying, she talked about “pausing to really take in something beautiful.”

    That can happen spontaneously. Sometimes, Button says, she’ll just stumble upon a beautiful flower, smiling friend, or warm loaf of bread and take a moment to simply take in the experience. But she’s also created a simple daily ritual to actively cultivate these moments of savoring present joy.

    “I was just spinning through life so fast that I wasn’t pausing to take it in. So, I’ve actually created a practice for myself where at least once a day I pause for a minute and stare at something beautiful, whatever I see. Really being there in that minute takes me away from the stress and the fast pace,” she explains. 

    Science agrees

    You might think a single minute of, literally or metaphorically, pausing to smell the roses couldn’t have a big impact on your life. But science suggests otherwise. 

    University of California, San Francisco researchers asked volunteers to take one 15-minute walk a week around their local area to look for small examples of awe-inspiring beauty around them. Like Button, they just took a few moments to stare at things like dappled sunlight coming through leaves or kids laughing in a park.

    It sounds like a tiny intervention. But those who tried it saw significant benefits compared to a control group who just went out for a regular 15-minute stroll. 

    They “felt more socially connected, and reported bigger increases in positive emotions — including prosocial emotions such as gratitude and compassion, and also joy — while they were walking. The boost in prosocial emotions, specifically, carried through into everyday life. Daily distress also decreased more over time in the awe group,” reported the British Psychological Society Research Digest blog. 

    Copy this daily ritual

    Thinking like people facing the end of life seems like a surefire way to bum yourself out. But those who actually spend time with the dying insist the opposite is true. There is great wisdom — and great joy — to be found in taking a moment to see the world through the eyes of those facing the end of life. 

    Button’s one-minute daily ritual is a simple, actionable way to do just that. The result, she insists, will be a greater appreciation for the pleasures of the moment and life’s many small joys.  

    The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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    Jessica Stillman

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  • Social Support Database (PDF)

    Social Support Database (PDF)

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    This worksheet will show you how to create a “Social Support Database” to serve as a positive reminder of all the people in your life who have your back, including family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, therapists, and support groups.


    This content is for Monthly, Yearly, and Lifetime members only.
    Join Here

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    Steven Handel

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  • Jacqueline Alnes’ The Fruit Cure reveals the truth about extreme wellness trends

    Jacqueline Alnes’ The Fruit Cure reveals the truth about extreme wellness trends

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    We’ve all done it… Something in our body feels a little off. So where’s the first thing we turn to? Most likely, it’s Dr. Google.

    Like the rest of us, that’s what Jacqueline Alnes, the author of The Fruit Cure, did when doctors couldn’t figure out the root of her mysterious illness.

    “You get on a website that you think may help you,” she tells Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani on the Mindvalley Book Club. “I got onto a website that, you know, they said that eating fruit and only fruit would heal you from anything.”

    That’s the claim of most diet fads or wellness crazes, right? Do this or that, and you’ll miraculously be cured… You’ll miraculously lose 10 pounds… You’ll miraculously [enter your illness here]…

    Unfortunately, such promises rarely hold up and can leave even the healthiest of us feeling confused and overwhelmed. And that’s something Jacqueline, a former Division 1 athlete, found out the hard way.

    Her book, The Fruit Cure: The Story of Extreme Wellness Turned Sour, is a heartfelt exploration of her experiences with extreme diets and a journey towards finding true, balanced wellness. And it can be an inspiration for you to do the same.

    There’s no shortage of nutrition-related schemes, scams, and fads, especially given that over 45 million Americans go on a diet each year. From keto to fruit-only to military to a whole list of others, it can be hard to keep up.

    This wellness obsession and diet mentality isn’t anything new, though. In fact, it dates back centuries.

    In the 17th century, for example, people believed that specific diets could purify the body and cure diseases. Jacqueline highlighted one figure (controversial, though) from the early 1900s, Cornelius Dreyer.

    Though he had “no formal nutritional schooling, no scientific evidence, and no formal research,” he advocated extreme fasting, hot water diets, and eating only fruits, claiming they could cure ailments like epilepsy and diabetes. These practices often led to severe malnutrition and even death, as evidenced by the tragic outcomes of his patients​.

    So why are we, as humans, so obsessed with wellness trends? Simply because the promise of quick fixes and miraculous cures is incredibly alluring. What’s more, it’s amplified by social media, a nesting ground of convincing testimonials and dramatic before-and-after photos.

    I think that’s a really alluring promise that someone can make to you. Like, if someone’s telling you, ‘I know the answer,’ it’s easy to want to believe that and to say, ‘I’m so happy someone out there knows how to make me feel better really quickly with very minimal work.’

    — Jacqueline Alnes, author of The Fruit Cure: The Story of Extreme Wellness Turned Sour

    The unfortunate reality is, many of these extreme diets can do more harm than good. For starters, research shows they can lead to weight cycling, also known as yo-yo dieting. Your metabolism slows down, and your fat storage increases… pushing you straight into obesity.

    What’s more, constantly focusing on what you can’t eat can lead to obsessive thoughts about food. You could end up feeling dissatisfied with your body image and even having eating disorders like orthorexia, the unhealthy obsession with eating in a healthy way.

    How Jacqueline Alnes Found Balance in a World of Diet Fads

    So how did Jacqueline, a Division 1 runner, find her way down into the dieting world in the first place? It started with a cough at the age of 18.

    Taking the medication for something that seemed so ordinary led to a spiral of one-thing-after-another. Dizzy spells, first. Then, “my symptoms got stranger, where I started repeating words that people would say,” she recalls. “I started losing my memory of events, which was really disorienting.”

    Desperate for answers (as anyone would be in her situation), Jacqueline turned to the internet. Based on the information she found, she started cutting out food groups without any real reason.

    “I think that’s a really alluring promise that someone can make to you,” Jacqueline says. “Like if someone’s telling you, ‘I know the answer,’ it’s easy to want to believe that and to say, ‘I’m so happy someone out there knows how to make me feel better really quickly with very minimal work.’”

    She believed the claims, thinking they knew what was best for her body. However, as the saying goes, you are what you eat—when you eat bad food, you’ll eventually look and feel bad, and when you eat good, healthy food, you’ll look and feel great.

    For Jacqueline, the restrictive diet failed to deliver, compelling her to abandon it. She realized that true wellness isn’t about following the latest trend. Instead, it’s about finding balance and trusting her body.

    Transform Your Health Approach With Tips From Jacqueline Alnes

    It’s no secret that the food industry has a heavy influence on our eating habits. So the question Jacqueline raises in her interview with Kristina is, “How do we live in our bodies, even if they are flawed, and find comfort and find the ability to be in our bodies in a healthy, happy way?”

    Taking her experience as inspiration, here are three things that you can do to have a more balanced, healthy approach to your wellness:

    1. Take time to rest and heal

    Life moves pretty fast, as Ferris Bueller says. And in this day and age where everything is at our fingertips, we often want instant fixes.

    “We want information quickly, we want healing quickly, we want connection quickly,” Jacqueline says. “For me personally, I bought into those messages to the point where I wouldn’t even take a few weeks off of running to try to heal myself just because I thought I would fall behind or something.”

    That was a major lesson for her. There’s a time to get up and go. And there’s a time to rest and heal.

    “In the grand scheme of things,” she adds, “I wish I would have slowed down and known that it was okay to take breaks, take pauses, take rest, and search for longer, slower answers rather than searching for what was quick and what was right in front of me.”

    2. Advocate for yourself

    No doubt, doctors are essential to the healthcare system, and questioning their expertise can be downright intimidating. It’s important to remember, though, that they’re not always right.

    “At 18, I didn’t know how to advocate for myself,” she explains. “I started distrusting myself quickly instead of saying to the doctor, ‘No, you’re wrong.’”

    But the thing is, doctors are doing their best, just like everyone else. Seeing them from this viewpoint can help you take an active role in your healthcare and empower you to voice your concerns.

    Ask questions, seek second opinions, and trust your instincts about what feels right for your body. If a treatment or diagnosis doesn’t sit well with you, don’t hesitate to discuss it further with your doctor or seek advice from another healthcare professional.

    3. Follow a more balanced approach to healing

    Most things in life work best in moderation. A little bit of this and a little bit of that equals balance. Extreme actions, however, often neglect important aspects for the sake of one focus.

    That’s why extreme diets don’t work. In fact, there’s research that shows most people who diet will likely gain their weight back (or more).

    So instead of relying on a single method, consider integrating various paths to wellness. For example, you can incorporate principles of intuitive eating with other wellness practices like regular exercise and mindfulness.

    “I could have taken a little bit from the doctors, and I probably could have taken a little bit from another path of healing and sort of merged them together in a way that was most helpful instead of viewing one as the right and one as the wrong and vice versa,” says Jacqueline.

    You can benefit from her experience by staying open to multiple approaches and tailoring them to fit your unique needs. By doing so, you create a holistic and flexible routine that supports your overall well-being.

    Fuel Your Mind

    If there’s one takeaway from Jacqueline Alnes’ The Fruit Cure: The Story of Extreme Wellness Turned Sour, it’s this: do not sit on your laurels. 

    That’s exactly what books do—they encourage you to grow, learn, and take action.

    The great thing is, the Mindvalley Book Club with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani can help you do just that. Every month, she selects thought-provoking self-help books that can transform your life, just like The Fruit Cure.

    Sign up now for exclusive access to these books, insightful discussions, and weekly podcasts featuring brilliant authors.

    The beauty of it is that every book has the potential to be the catalyst for your next breakthrough. All it takes is the simple click of your mouse.

    Welcome in.

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    Tatiana Azman

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  • 2024 World Happiness Rankings: USA Falls Out of Top 20, Youngest Hit Hardest

    2024 World Happiness Rankings: USA Falls Out of Top 20, Youngest Hit Hardest

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    What are the top 20 happiest countries in the world? How do mental health and well-being trends look in the United States and Canada? The 2024 World Happiness Report is in!

    The World Happiness Report is a research initiative to compare happiness levels between different countries.

    The project first launched in 2012, surveying more than 350,000 people in 95 countries asking them to rate their happiness on a 10-point scale.

    Each year they release a new report and the 2024 full report was just published a few weeks ago. There are some interesting findings in it that are worth highlighting.

    First let’s look at the happiness rankings by country.

    Top 20 Happiest Countries

    Here are the top 20 happiest countries in 2024 according to the report.

    The scores are on a scale of 1-10. Each participant was asked to think of a ladder, with the best possible life for them being a “10” and the worst possible life being a “0.” They were then asked to rate their current lives. The final rankings are the average score for each country.

    (By the way, this simple test for measuring subjective well-being is known as the “Cantril Ladder,” it’s a common tool used in public polling especially the Gallup World Poll.)

    The results:

      1. Finland (7.741)
      2. Denmark (7.538)
      3. Iceland (7.525)
      4. Sweden (7.344)
      5. Israel (7.341)
      6. Netherlands (7.319)
      7. Norway (7.302)
      8. Luxembourg (7.122)
      9. Switzerland (7.060)
      10. Australia (7.057)
      11. New Zealand (7.029)
      12. Costa Rica (6.955)
      13. Kuwait (6.951)
      14. Austria (6.905)
      15. Canada (6.900)
      16. Belgium (6.894)
      17. Ireland (6.838)
      18. Czechia (6.822)
      19. Lithuania (6.818)
      20. United Kingdom (6.749)

    The top 10 countries have remained stable over the years. As of March 2024, Finland has been ranked the happiest country in the world seven times in a row.

    There was more movement in the top 20 rankings. Most notably, this is the first year that the United States dropped out of the top 20 (from rank 15 to 23 – an 8 place drop).

    More alarming are the age gaps in happiness reports. In both the U.S. and Canada, those above the age of 60 report significantly higher rates of happiness than those below 30.

    Above age 60, the U.S. ranks 10 overall on the world happiness rankings. Below age 30, the U.S. falls to rank 62, just beating out Peru, Malaysia, and Vietnam.

    Could this be a sign of a continuing downward trend in places like the U.S. and Canada?

    Potential Factors Behind Life Evaluation

    How to measure happiness is always a controversial topic.

    To this day, psychologists and social scientists don’t really have a reliable way to determine happiness besides simply asking someone, “How happy are you?”

    However, the World Happiness Report attempts to take the above findings and break them down into six main factors that contribute to overall life evaluation on a societal level.

    These factors don’t influence the final rankings, they are just a way to make sense of the results:

    • GDP per capita – A general measure of a country’s overall wealth.
    • Life expectancy – A general measure of a country’s overall health.
    • Generosity – The level of a country’s trust and kindness through charity and volunteering.
    • Social support – The level of a country’s social cohesion and community.
    • Freedom – The level of a country’s freedom to live life as a person sees fit.
    • Corruption – A general measure of government competence and political accountability.

    Each factor helps explain the differences in overall happiness between countries, with some countries performing better in certain areas over others.

    One benefit of this model is that it looks beyond GDP (or “Gross Domestic Product”) which has long been the overall benchmark for comparing countries in the social sciences. The U.S. has the highest GDP in the world and frequently ranks in the top 10 per capita, but the happiness rankings show there is more to the picture.

    Conclusion

    The World Happiness Report is a good guideline for comparing happiness and well-being between different countries. How does your country rank? It will be interesting to see how these rankings change over the next few years, do you have any predictions?


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    Steven Handel

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  • What Part of the Brain Controls Breathing?

    What Part of the Brain Controls Breathing?

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    Breathing. What are the chances you’ve paid attention to it?

    Granted, many of us have when we’re hyperventilating or short of breath. But oftentimes, it’s so automatic that we don’t give it a second thought.

    Additionally, what we also don’t give much thought to is what part of the brain controls breathing. Because why should we?

    “If you stop breathing just for a few minutes, it’s over,” says Niraj Naik, the founder of SOMA Breath® and trainer of Mindvalley’s Breathwork for Life Quest. “So really, we should be paying more attention to our breath.”

    The truth of the matter is, caring about it goes beyond mere curiosity—it’s about unlocking the potential to enhance your well-being, stress management, and overall quality of life. 

    What Part of the Brain Controls Breathing?

    The brainstem controls breathing. Situated at the base of your skull, this part of the brain acts as a bridge between your brain and spinal cord. It’s made up of three main parts:

    • Medulla oblongata: Sends signals through the spinal cord to automatically control your breathing muscles.
    • Pons: Adjusts your breaths to be smooth by fine-tuning inhalation and exhalation.
    • Midbrain: Influences breathing indirectly based on your activity level and alertness.

    So out of these three, what part of the brain controls breathing rate? That would be the medulla oblongata. Its respiratory centers, which are groups of neurons, automatically control the rate and depth of breathing.

    How? By sending signals to the muscles involved, such as the diaphragm and the muscles around the ribs, telling them when to contract and relax.

    What part of the brain controls heart rate and breathing?

    The responsibility of controlling not only breathing but also heart rate goes to the medulla oblongata. It houses specific groups of neurons that are dedicated to keeping your body functioning optimally. 

    For heart rate, there’s the cardiac center, which sends signals to speed up or slow down based on your body’s needs. Take exercise, for instance. The neurons pick up the pace to deliver more oxygen to your muscles.

    The medulla oblongata doesn’t stop there. When it comes to breathing, it contains the respiratory center that ensures your lungs take in the right amount of oxygen and expel carbon dioxide efficiently.

    Additionally, this particular brain region doesn’t work alone. It collaborates closely with the pons to regulate your heart rate in response to your breathing. This seamless integration ensures that when you’re faced with stress or excitement, your breathing and heart rate adjust accordingly, helping you maintain balance.

    And if you ever need to, you can make conscious efforts to adjust with breathing exercises like SOMA Breath® or pranayama breathing.

    Effects of Breathing On the Brain

    “Breathe” is not just another commonsense piece of advice. According to research, it can have great effects on your brain health—different types of breathing can influence thoughts, moods, and behaviors.

    When the breathing rate is increased, it activates the amygdala, a part of the brain that is primarily involved in emotional learning and behavior. So when you breathe rapidly and shallowly, it can trigger feelings like anxiety, anger, or fear.

    On the other hand, if your breathing is slow and deep, like in meditation, it stimulates the vagus nerves, which regulate the respiratory rate. This, then, can turn off the “fight or flight” reflex and relax your brain.

    Learning how to consciously control the breath is easier said than done, but it can have a number of powerful benefits. Breathing calmly may also improve your balance, ability to control your emotions, and stress levels, just to name a few.

    5 Breathing Exercises for Brain Performance

    Humans can go a while without food and water. But how long can you go without breathing?

    “Just a few minutes,” Niraj explains. 

    Understanding what part of the brain controls breathing gives you a window into how your whole body functions. With this knowledge, you can actually take control of your breath. And in doing so, you can also influence your emotions and physical health in surprising ways.

    Here are five simple breathing exercises you can start with:

    1. Pranayama breathing

    With its roots in yoga, pranayama breathing helps you control your breath to calm your mind and body. The idea is that the breathing rhythms help enhance the respiratory system, calming the mind, reducing stress, and improving concentration and overall well-being. 

    Best of all, it’s easy to learn. Here’s how to do it:

    1. Sit in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Keep your back straight and relax your shoulders.
    1. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs fully. Notice how your belly rises.
    1. Slowly breathe out through your nose, emptying your lungs completely. Feel your belly fall.
    1. Keep this deep breathing going. Breathe in slowly, then exhale slowly. Try to make your inhale and exhale the same length.

    Doing this for a few minutes each day can help you feel more relaxed and centered.

    2. SOMA Breath®

    Stemming from pranayama techniques, this unique breathwork focuses on regulating CO2 levels in your body to encourage proper breathing habits. What sets it apart is its use of rhythmic music, aligning your breath with the beat to achieve a state of heart coherence, where inner harmony and balance are realized.

    Here’s how to do it:

    1. Sit comfortably in an upright position, ensuring your back is straight.
    1. Gently point the tip of your tongue to the back of your upper teeth, aligning it towards your third eye to enhance energy flow.
    1. Inhale deeply through your nostrils.
    1. As you exhale, produce a humming sound, directing your awareness to the buzzing sensation at the center of your forehead, the location of your third eye.
    1. Continue this humming for three minutes, focusing on the vibration to stimulate your third eye and enhance the practice.
    1. During the exercise, you can shift your focus to enhance the effect. Look towards your third eye or bring your attention to the tip of your nose while maintaining the humming sound.
    Breathwork expert Niraj Naik showing a breathing exercise

    SOMA Breath® is designed to balance your nervous system, enhance focus, and awaken your inner strength. It’s perfect for a morning routine or a mid-day refresh.

    3. Breathing biohacks

    Juan Pablo Barahona (better known as JuanPa), a renowned transformational leader and energy master, shares a simple yet effective way to use your breath to balance your nervous system in his Ultra Presence Quest on Mindvalley. It’ll help make you feel more relaxed and present.

    Here’s how you can do it:

    1. Start by breathing in and out through your nose very gently, so it’s almost silent.
    1. When you’re feeling calm, fully exhale and then pause, holding your breath.
    1. When you feel the urge to breathe, inhale softly without rushing. Then, exhale all the air out gently.
    1. When you’re ready, hold your breath again, this time a bit longer. Try to extend the hold a little more each time, up to three times.

    This exercise is all about finding balance through gentle breathing. While holding your breath might seem counterintuitive, it can actually help your body switch between alertness and relaxation.

    Studies have shown that slowing down your breath rate (less than 10 breaths per minute) can positively impact your nervous system. This means you can train your body to handle stress better and experience a greater sense of peace in your daily life.

    4. Third Breath Biohack

    The Third Breath Biohack is all about using your breath to help your nervous system chill out. It’s something you can do while walking, running, or doing any kind of movement, according to JuanPa.

    Here’s how to do it:

    1. Walk (or do any kind of movement) naturally, breathing in and out through your nose.
    1. Whenever you’re ready, breathe out all your air and keep walking without taking a breath in. Feel relaxed, even with the stress of not breathing.
    1. Take a breath when you need to, then go back to your gentle nose breathing.
    1. Do it again, holding your breath out longer each time, for three rounds. Try making the last one challenging.

    Doing this exercise, you’ll notice how it changes your walk and how you feel. It teaches your body to be okay with a bit of stress and then to relax again quickly. Plus, it’s a great way to boost your oxygen use and make your nervous system stronger.

    5. The Wim Hof Technique

    Wim Hof, also known as “The Iceman,” is a Dutch extreme athlete known for his ability to withstand freezing temperatures. His method, which he calls the Wim Hof Method, combines cold exposure, breathing techniques, and meditation.

    The breathing part goes like this:

    1. Sit or lie down in a place where you won’t be disturbed.
    1. Start taking deep, short, controlled breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, filling your lungs, and then exhale unforced through your mouth.
    1. Do this for about 30 cycles. (Each cycle includes a deep breath in and then letting the breath go.)
    1. After the last breath, exhale and hold your breath until you feel the urge to breathe again.
    1. Once you need to breathe again, take a deep breath in and hold it for 15 to 20 seconds.
    1. Exhale. This completes one round.
    1. Do 3 to 4 rounds.

    Practicing this method can boost your immune system, improve concentration, and give you a feeling of increased energy. It’s a powerful tool to strengthen both mind and body resilience.

    Futureproof Your Well-Being

    Breathing may seem like the most natural thing to do, but many of us need help with doing so properly. You can, however, learn to breathe to benefit your brain.

    Head over to Mindvalley and check out the Breathwork for Life Quest with Niraj Naik. This transformational leader will guide you beyond what part of the brain controls breathing to help you better understand the profound impact of it on your health, performance, and well-being.

    As he says in his Quest, “If you master your breath, you can control your state. And when you control your state, you master your life.”

    Welcome in.

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    Tatiana Azman

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  • Positive Psychology Tools Are Most Effective For Those Who Practice Long-Term

    Positive Psychology Tools Are Most Effective For Those Who Practice Long-Term

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    A new study finds that a “Science of Happiness” university course, designed to teach students a variety of happiness hacks, provides the most long-term benefits when participants stick with the tools and exercises after completion.

    There have been many experiments showing the short-term benefits of positive psychological interventions like gratitude, meditation, kindness, and journaling, but not many studies have looked into these effects on a longer timeline.

    At the University of Bristol, there’s a popular course known as “The Science of Happiness” that aims to teach students how to use various happiness hacks to improve their mental health and well-being. This course has been running since 2019 and has been offered both online and in-person.

    The program balances practical advice with important information on topics such as: the nature of happiness, the role of biology and environment, cognitive biases, brain mechanisms, problem-solving, and the importance of social connection. At the end of each week, students are instructed to try evidence-based activities or “happiness hacks,” as a way of fostering positive mental well-being.

    In previous years, individuals who took the course reported significantly increased mental well-being from the first week to the final week, as shown by a 10-15% increase in their scores on the Short Warwick-Edinburgh Mental Well-Being Scale. Participants also reported reduced loneliness and anxiety. A follow-up after six weeks continued to show sustained benefits, but it was unclear how long these positive effects lasted.

    In a new study published in the journal Higher Education, researchers analyzed 228 undergraduate students from various disciplines who had completed the positive psychology course either 1 or 2 years ago. Interestingly, while most students reported short-term benefits, later group analysis revealed that these benefits did not persist uniformly across all participants during the long term follow-up period.

    A deeper look at the data revealed a crucial factor behind the program’s success: continued engagement. Approximately 51% of the students who actively practiced the recommended activities taught during the course maintained their increased mental well-being over the follow-up period. These students consistently applied positive psychology principles in their daily lives at least a year after they completed the class.

    Here’s a chart from the study illustrating the findings:

    As you can see, those who continued to follow the “happiness hacks” maintained their gains in subjective well-being during the long term follow-up.

    The most commonly reported technique that students continued to use was gratitude (37.17%), including writing letters of gratitude to others and making lists of things that they were grateful for (“three good things”). Other commonly reported techniques were mindfulness/meditation (33.63%), exercise (21.24%), journaling (17.70%) and kindness (10.62%).


    How to Create Sustained Positive Change

    The study recommends that schools and institutions consider the long-term impact of psychoeducational courses. While initial benefits are essential, sustained effects depend on prolonged engagement and commitment.

    Course designs should incorporate mechanisms to encourage continued practice:

    The goal of psychology – whether it’s with a course, book, article, therapist, or coach – is always to take what you learn and integrate it into your real world living.

    In the moment, learning about these tools and exercises can provide a nice temporary boost of relief, but then we quickly get bored, forget about them, stop applying them, and lose out on their benefits over time.

    Much like a diet or exercise regimen, you need to create a mental health system in your life that works for you and is sustainable into the future. Quick fixes are a myth. You’ll always snap back to your old ways if you don’t choose a course of action you can follow continuously and indefinitely.

    In theory, choose habits you can do for the rest of your life. That’s the mindset you need for continuous growth, happiness, and well-being. Gratitude, kindness, meditation, exercise, and journaling can become habits that are just as second-nature to you as tying your shoes or driving a car. Make self-care an everyday occurence.

    Ultimately, if you want to build a happy life, you have to be in it for the long haul.


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    Steven Handel

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  • Entrepreneurship Can Be Draining — Try This to Restore the Joy. | Entrepreneur

    Entrepreneurship Can Be Draining — Try This to Restore the Joy. | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    CEOs feel the weight of every decision they ever made — not to mention every dire prediction about their business. It’s important to discern when it’s time to help with the heavy lifting and when you need to take a step back and reflect. Executives can balance the scales using these three key strategies to achieve balance, all the while increasing productivity in their company and for themselves.

    1. Learn when to surrender

    How many times have you tried to solve a problem only to discover a dozen more problems stemming from the first one? Or had a decision you made turn out to do more harm than good? Those are the times when most people push the hardest, determined to gain victory. It’s important to consider the cost when you maintain this relentless attitude. What is being sacrificed? Have you analyzed all the factors and possible breaking points, or are you the type of person who wants to achieve the goal at any price?

    Surrender is an art, but it is a vital tool you can use at any time when you see that applying force in a situation is going to end in collateral damage. I have to press the “surrender button” often. I’m legally blind. I rely on my team members as the eyes, ears, legs and hands of the company. As a result, I use my brain all day — my imagination is on fire anticipating problems, responding to needs, memorizing, making decisions and collaborating. Sometimes the workday is long. But no matter how tempting it is to get everything on your list done, you have to know when to back off.

    A surrender moment might be calling it a day, going to bed early and waking up at 4 a.m. the next morning to read emails or prepare for a meeting. You may find podcasts or audiobooks to decompress with or take 10 minutes to meditate or calm your thoughts with music. These are small, quick moments where you may put off important decisions, meetings or tasks, knowing you will not be giving your best.

    Just when people are demanding that you solve a problem immediately, you are taking five minutes to step back and reflect. Surrendering at the right moment of frustration can often bring a creative solution to the surface of your mind; in fact, giving in to the obstacle instead of trying to force the situation can often save you time.

    Related: Self-Care Isn’t Selfish — It’s Essential for Sustaining High Performance. Here’s How to Avoid Burning Out.

    2. Put yourself in check

    Have you often felt that the push and pull of business has overwhelmed you to exhaustion? Maybe you feel as though you don’t have time to strategize or contemplate your direction because the mere constant on-the-fly decisions and the swirl of problems seem overwhelming. It’s easy to tell yourself you need to change your work-life balance, but many business leaders find this kind of revolution tough to achieve.

    If you are constantly driving and pushing, that is when fatigue can lead to multiple negative outcomes, including a feeling of desperation leading to bad decisions. Not only is this detrimental to your health and well-being, but it can also trigger other negative outcomes for your company. Building in balance and putting yourself in check is vital. It starts with asking hard questions and answering them honestly. Are you lopsided in life? Are you overambitious? Do you need to recharge? How can you best do that? It’s easy to say “no” to spontaneous invitations to let off steam — there’s always more work to be done.

    One way to ensure your work and personal life are balanced is to have an accountability partner. This person should know your strategies for making room for relaxation and quiet as well as a little fun. At the same time, you can begin scheduling commitments aimed at recharging your batteries: Put everything on the calendar, both personal and business, including planned breaks, attending a school play, working out, getting a massage, going for a walk or just dining alone with the phone off in a restaurant you enjoy. You can even schedule a night out with friends, a morning coffee date or a karaoke party. You would then share the schedule with your accountability partner — they should call or text you regularly, asking whether you met your commitment to bring more balance into your life.

    3. Find and set boundaries

    It’s great to know your own boundaries so you can reflect, study and handle yourself in a crisis. However, no matter how your business is set up, you are dealing with other people, too: employees, colleagues and customers. Negotiating with others’ schedules and managing the workflow will require patience. You’ll need to learn when to put your foot on the pedal and when to release.

    Getting to know the strengths and weaknesses of your team members is most important here. What are their peak work hours? Are they morning people, or do they stay up late and work into the night? You’ll need to build in praise, encouragement and even celebration to honor their time, talents and dedication.

    Even if you only employ one or two other people, you’ll need to be aware of personal struggles, triggers, tragic events — like the loss of a family member — or divergent abilities they may be reluctant to reveal to you. Fostering an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding can go a long way toward helping individuals feel comfortable sharing valuable information with you about their lives. You may discover healthy ways to push employees beyond their limitations or fears. On the other hand, you may find that simply being a source of comfort and strength for individual team members is all you can do — and you may have to pull back at times, allowing those who face extreme challenges the time to grieve or heal.

    There are times when a partnership or working relationship has achieved its end. In those times, you’ll have to learn to accept change as part of the cycle of living and be respectful of your own need to let go if a loyal employee or colleague makes a pivot. At those times, you will have the chance to take the high road, wish them well, thank them and leave them with sincere good wishes for their future. At the same time, you can look forward to meeting the next teammate down the road.

    Related: 5 Strategies to Thrive as a Solo Business Owner — Without Burning Out

    Final thoughts

    Learning when to put the pressure on and when to take a step back are equally vital to the success of the team, the original vision of the company and a healthier, happier you. When you build structure into your whole life — surrender, balance and boundaries — you will find the peace you need to navigate all obstacles and restore the joy of being an entrepreneur.

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    Nancy Solari

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  • 3 Ways to Understand and Finally Relax Your Busy Brain | Entrepreneur

    3 Ways to Understand and Finally Relax Your Busy Brain | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    A client of mine, let’s call her Sandra, came to me for help to handle high levels of stress in her life. She’s the CEO of a 70-employee company in a male-dominated industry. That in itself was a lot of pressure. Add the strain of balancing work from home with parenting two small children. In her words, she wanted to be able to create her own calm during the chaos.

    She felt so overwhelmed, that we needed a simple launch point to relieve her stress. I advised her to start by taking a five-minute relaxation break during each workday. I gave her solid strategies to weave it into her existing schedule right away. For example, we planned the break during regular lulls in her daily itinerary. She didn’t need to rearrange her whole life to do this. With a little back and forth, we discovered early afternoon should work best. She never scheduled meetings then and her kids usually took a nap after lunch.

    But at our next session, she confided that she was struggling. Instead of helping her relax, the downtime seemed to add to her stress. Her busy brain raced out of control. It clamored on about the meeting she just led, her afternoon agenda, what to cook for dinner, etc.

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    Leah Borski

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  • Master the Art of Saying No and Balance Life on Your Terms | Entrepreneur

    Master the Art of Saying No and Balance Life on Your Terms | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    In today’s world, there are a host of demands placed on us. Between our bosses, best friends and families, there’s no shortage of people asking us to commit time to various projects, events and activities. In some cases, we’re not only asked but rather told what our top priorities should be. This works just fine when we agree and feel aligned with those requests, but what about when we don’t?

    Failing to prioritize ourselves and our desires can leave us feeling overworked and burnt out. Perhaps more importantly, endlessly saying yes to others robs us of joy and fulfillment. It can prevent us from feeling passionate, empowered and energized. Our families and loved ones often pay the price.

    Today, many mental health experts encourage us to set boundaries with others. That can be a scary prospect, especially for those of us who were brought up to be people pleasers. If you want to set better boundaries with others but not torch your relationships, here are a few things you’ll want to do.

    Related: 5 Expert-Backed Strategies for Setting Boundaries at Work

    1. Figure out what you truly do (and don’t) want to do

    You’ll find it’s nearly impossible to set boundaries with others if you don’t first know what your boundaries even are. Sometimes, setting boundaries means telling others no. This is easier to do when we have a “greater yes” in mind. But that means we must know what our “greater yes” is.

    Anytime you’re asked to do something, consult with yourself before anyone else. Ask yourself: “How do I feel about this? What do I want to do? What do I feel is the best decision?” Once you’ve decided these things, you’re already in a better place to communicate. But just wait until you’re asked. Regularly have these discussions with yourself, even before you get asked.

    Become very aware of how much bandwidth and capacity you actually have during any given season. The more you spend regular time identifying your most important priorities and values, the more strongly you’ll feel about them and the easier it will become to articulate them.

    2. Make an agreement with yourself that it’s okay to disappoint other people

    Before you can have an effective conversation with others about your boundaries, it’s important to accept the possibility that they might be disappointed by what you say. Remember: That’s okay. People don’t have to agree with all your decisions, including those who love you. Someone else disliking your decision doesn’t make it wrong.

    Recognize that others may not respond favorably when you set boundaries. When you say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to do that this weekend,” others might do a variety of things ranging from asking follow-up questions to becoming upset or angry to attempting to convince you to change your mind. When you plan on these things happening before the conversation, it makes it easier to handle them if and when they occur. Understand that other people’s reactions are often more about them than about you. Those reactions don’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.

    Related: Why Setting Boundaries Is the Secret to Preserving Energy and Focusing on What Matters

    3. Communicate your position respectfully

    Verbally articulating our boundaries with others is an important part of the process. You get the opportunity to share how you feel about something presently happening, and you also get the opportunity to set expectations for the future.

    Perhaps you don’t like the nickname an acquaintance has given you. They think it’s a clever joke, but you find it offensive. Perhaps you are uncomfortable with how close a colleague often sits; you feel it’s an invasion of your personal space. Maybe your friends routinely stay far too late when you invite them into your home or your mother insists on visiting you every Sunday, but you no longer want her to.

    Whatever it is, sharing how you’re feeling about the behaviors, asks or demands of others is important. That’s because, when done well, it can lead to change. This allows the relationship to improve. Oftentimes, we’re afraid to set boundaries with others because of how they will react. We can assuage these fears by remembering that setting boundaries is not about others; it’s about us.

    There’s no need to criticize or attack others. Rather, we can simply share how we’ve been feeling and what we’d like to see change. It’s especially helpful to be specific. Instead of saying, “Mom, I just feel you’re too involved in our lives,” you can say, “Mom, I’d like to have some more time to myself to read, clean and spend time with the kids. You being at our home every Sunday has been tough on me. I’d like to ask that going forward, you only come twice a month instead of every weekend.”

    Related: How to Teach Your Employees to Set Boundaries Instead of Always Being ‘On’

    4. Learn to feel good about it

    I’ve noticed that many of us feel guilt or even shame when we try to set boundaries. These feelings discourage us from doing it. As you contemplate setting boundaries, instead of worrying about everyone else, remember to consider yourself first. It’s less important that everyone else around you is “okay” with it, and more important that you feel good about it. If someone or something is wreaking havoc on your life, you don’t have to simply “put up with it” at the expense of your happiness. It’s an act of bravery to ask (or say) what you want and need, and you should choose to feel good about having the courage to do that.

    Setting boundaries with others can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it’s a key part of building a better life. We only get one shot at this life, and every moment matters. When we spend months or years tolerating things that make us uncomfortable, our worlds tend to shrink. Identify what’s most important to you and take these steps to advocate for it. Believe it or not, you’ll often find that doing this leads to better and more honest relationships with those around you, not worse relationships.

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    Amy M Chambers

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  • Four current and former L.A. Sheriff’s Department employees died of suicide in a 24-hour span

    Four current and former L.A. Sheriff’s Department employees died of suicide in a 24-hour span

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    Warning: This story includes discussion of suicide.

    The suicide deaths of four current and former Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department employees over a 24-hour span have prompted a plea from Sheriff Robert Luna urging deputies to check on the well-being of their colleagues and friends.

    “We are stunned to learn of these deaths, and it has sent shock waves of emotions throughout the department as we try and cope with the loss of not just one, but four beloved active and retired members of our department family,” Luna said in an emailed statement Tuesday. “During trying times like these it’s important for personnel regardless of rank or position to check on the well-being of other colleagues and friends.”

    Suicide prevention and crisis counseling resources

    If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, seek help from a professional and call 9-8-8. The United States’ first nationwide three-digit mental health crisis hotline 988 will connect callers with trained mental health counselors. Text “HOME” to 741741 in the U.S. and Canada to reach the Crisis Text Line.

    Luna said he had the “deepest concern for our employees’ well-being,” adding that the department was “urgently exploring avenues to reduce work stress factors to support our employees’ work and personal lives.” He said the department’s Homicide Bureau would investigate the deaths.

    There is no indication that that the deaths were related or that foul play was involved, but department sources who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the ongoing investigation said the third and fourth deaths were discovered as word of the earlier deaths were spreading through the agency.

    Luna’s comments came a day after the suicides of one former and three current employees, which occurred within a 24-hour span that began Monday.

    Among them was Cmdr. Darren Harris, who became a recognizable figure on TV news over a 25-year career during which he served as a chief department spokesperson. Harris was found dead in his home in Santa Clarita on Monday morning, according to multiple sources. He died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, said the sources, who agreed to speak with The Times on the condition of anonymity because his death hasn’t been publicly acknowledged.

    Harris rose steadily through department ranks, with several stopovers in media relations, along with stints in which he oversaw the Transit Services Bureau and ran the Santa Clarita station.

    Sometime after noon Monday, authorities found the body of Greg Hovland, a sergeant who worked in the Antelope Valley before his retirement, at his Quartz Hill home, according to the sources. Another employee was found dead shortly after sunset at a residence in Stevenson Ranch. The fourth death was reported at 7:30 a.m. Tuesday, when sheriff’s homicide detectives responded to a hospital in Pomona where an employee died from suicide.

    Observers said the suicides underscored a long-standing problem for law enforcement officers across Los Angeles as elsewhere. In recent years, studies have shown that more officers have died by suicide than the number killed in the line of duty. Officers also have higher risks of suicide than the general population, a disparity that some researchers have attributed to the stresses of police work and heightened public scrutiny over recent high-profile law enforcement killings — combined with their easy access to firearms.

    The risk is particularly acute among members of smaller departments, researchers say, which tend to have fewer resources available for officers struggling with suicidal thoughts. According to the website Blue H.E.L.P., which tracks officer suicides, 81 officers have taken their lives this year across the country; in 2022, there were 172 suicides.

    In his statement, Luna said the department’s Psychological Services Bureau and the Injury and Health Support Unit were working to provide counseling and other resources to the families of the officers.

    “Additionally, the department has a Peer Support Program that members can use for additional assistance,” Luna said in his statement.

    Four other Sheriff’s Department employees died by suicide this year, said Nicole Nishida, an agency spokesperson.

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    Libor Jany, Richard Winton

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  • The Life-changing Benefits of Moving to a New Place

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    Moving to a new place isn’t merely a change of address; it’s often a profound life transition that carries with it an array of benefits and opportunities for personal growth. 

    When we decide to pack up and settle somewhere new, we’re not just moving our possessions—we’re also shifting our perspectives and opening the door to new experiences.

    Wichita, with its unique blend of urban opportunities and community-focused living, offers a host of experiences for those who choose to call it home. The city is a hub of cultural diversity, economic growth, and educational excellence. 

    Relocating here can be a refreshing experience that invigorates the soul and mind. The act of moving is not just about the physical transition, but it’s a step towards embracing a new community, culture, and environment that can reshape one’s identity and sense of belonging. 

    The benefits of such a move are multifaceted, touching every aspect of life, from personal well-being to social connections and professional opportunities.

    The Transformational Power of Community Engagement

    One of the most significant benefits of moving to a new place like Wichita is the opportunity to engage with a new community. Humans are inherently social creatures and the communities we belong to play a vital role in our happiness and sense of identity. 

    By moving, you gift yourself the opportunity to dive into a community that might be more aligned with your values, interests, and lifestyle choices.

     

    Seamless Transition: The Role of Local Movers

    One aspect of moving that can often seem daunting is the physical process of packing, transporting, and unpacking your belongings. In Wichita, this transition can be made significantly smoother by employing the services of Wichita movers. These professionals understand the nuances of the city, from navigating the streets to handling the local weather conditions during your move.

    Hiring local movers in Wichita means you’re not just hiring a service; you’re investing in peace of mind. With their expertise, they can efficiently pack your belongings, ensuring their safety and security, and set up your new home with ease. This allows you to focus on the excitement of moving without the stress of logistics.

    A New Environment, A Healthier You

    Moving to a new place often provides the impetus to break free from old habits and establish healthier ones. Wichita, with its numerous parks, bike paths, and recreational facilities, offers an inviting backdrop for cultivating a healthier lifestyle. The change in environment can be the perfect setting to prioritize your physical and mental health.

    The city’s emphasis on outdoor activities and community wellness initiatives provides ample opportunity to get active and stay fit. 

    Whether it’s jogging along the Arkansas River, partaking in a yoga class in the park, or simply enjoying a walk in one of the city’s numerous green spaces, Wichita makes it easier to integrate physical activity into your daily routine.

    Beyond the physical, the mental health benefits of relocating can be significant as well. A new environment can bring a sense of excitement and novelty, which stimulates the mind and can be a powerful antidote to the stagnation that sometimes accompanies long-term routines. 

    The act of exploring your new surroundings can also be therapeutic, offering a sense of adventure that nurtures the soul.

    Career Advancements and Educational Opportunities

    Moving to a new city like Wichita can also herald new beginnings in your professional life. A change of location can open doors to job opportunities, career advancements, and educational pursuits that may not have been available to you before. 

    Wichita’s economy is diverse, with strong sectors in manufacturing, healthcare, and education, offering a range of opportunities for career growth.

    For those looking to further their education, Wichita boasts a number of esteemed institutions, including Wichita State University, which is renowned for its innovation and community engagement. 

    Moving to Wichita could be the stepping stone needed to pursue further education or a new career path, potentially leading to a more fulfilling professional life.

    The networking opportunities that come with settling in a new city are invaluable. Engaging with local professionals, attending industry events, and joining Wichita’s various professional organizations can provide a boost to your career that might not have been possible in your previous location.

    Cultivating Personal Growth and Embracing Change

    The journey to a new home is often a journey inward as well. When you move, especially to a city like Wichita, with its unique character and spirit, you’re not just transferring your belongings; you’re allowing yourself the room to grow. 

    This growth can manifest in countless ways, from newfound hobbies and interests to the evolution of your personality and worldview.

    In the midst of the vast plains of Kansas, Wichita serves as a beacon of cultural and artistic endeavors, housing museums, galleries, and theaters that can enrich your intellectual life. By immersing yourself in the local arts scene, you open up new avenues for personal expression and creativity. 

    A new city often acts as a canvas for self-discovery, allowing you to paint a new picture of who you are and who you aspire to be.

    Conclusion

    The decision to move, particularly to a city like Wichita, is more than a change of scenery—it’s an investment in your future and a commitment to personal evolution. The city’s warm embrace offers a canvas for newcomers to paint their dreams and ambitions in vivid colors, with each neighborhood providing a different hue to the larger picture of life in the heartland of America.

    Through community engagement, the pursuit of healthier living, the exploration of professional avenues, and cultural integration, Wichita does not just change your address—it changes you. 

    The city’s spirit, characterized by growth, resilience, and diversity, becomes a part of your own, enriching your life experience in ways that are both profound and personal.

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    Tiffany

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  • How to Pursue Your Creative Ideas While Prioritizing Your Well-Being | Entrepreneur

    How to Pursue Your Creative Ideas While Prioritizing Your Well-Being | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    Natural-born entrepreneurs are often bursting with creative ideas, new innovative thoughts and — more often than not — pretty enormous dreams. We can’t help it. For better or worse, it is how we are wired.

    One of the first characteristics of an entrepreneur is our curious nature. Think about it: How often do you wake up at 2:45 a.m. with a new idea that you want to start immediately in the morning? I’ve been there hundreds of times — really, you should see my notes app on my phone! Entrepreneurs love ideas. We love building on our ideas over and over again, hoping to create something bigger than we can even imagine. We say things like, “I’m building for the future” or “I’m planting seeds for growth” every time we pile on some new project. It’s exhilarating — until it’s exhausting.

    At some point, the go-go-go nature of our ideation patterns can begin to feel heavy or burdensome for some of us. So the question is, how much of this “planting of seeds” is really just the burying of ourselves in heaps of work that may be hindering our ability to actually grow and succeed?

    Related: Why Entrepreneurs Need To Prioritize Their Wellbeing As They Launch And Run Businesses

    We’re already busy

    Small business owners need to always be planning for the future — how else will their business grow? It’s an integral part of business ownership. Everyone wants to succeed. Planting seeds for growth, for example, spending on marketing or public relations, recruiting top-tier talent, attending networking events and so on, are extremely important. But how much time is being spent on planning for these activities versus the amount of time entrepreneurs spend on everything else necessary to run the show?

    A recent study showed that 39% of business owners are already working over 60 hours per week. And you better believe those work weeks are packed with all the stress and pressure that every business owner struggles with, from employee concerns to client concerns and everyone’s favorite, “economic uncertainty.” Maybe cash flow is tighter. Maybe bills aren’t being paid as fast. It stinks. This, however, should not stop that creative, tired mind from coming up with fresh ideas.

    But what if I miss out?

    The conundrum is that we fear letting these good ideas go to waste. Or that if we don’t pursue the new ideas, we’re risking not achieving the success we’d surely have if we were to make it happen. As a fellow entrepreneur with high hopes and dreams, I refuse to enable dream-killing. It’s not in my DNA. I believe every and all dreams can come true. I also believe that nothing is possible if we aren’t well enough to take it all on.

    My mother used to say to me, “You can’t fill a cup from an empty well.” It took me years to fully grasp what she meant. Then one day, while I was running my first business back in 2016, I had a complete meltdown. I hadn’t been sleeping much, I was under so much pressure having two children under two, and I had a list of things I wanted to do with the business. And I cracked under that pressure. I ended up in the ER, thinking I might’ve failed at everything — motherhood, marriage and entrepreneurship. It dawned on me then that I was DTM (doing too much) and I had not dedicated any time to filling up my own well so that I would be able to give from it.

    Related: How to Find Balance When You’re a Startup Founder

    Finding balance

    Fast-forward to now. My current business is thriving. My children are the best of the best (I could go on, but this would end up being another 15 paragraphs!). My marriage is as strong as ever. But most importantly, I am full. I am full of energy, joy, ambition and yes, ideas. The difference between now and then is recognizing when to admit that I am full and to only take on what I can. We have to make an effort to discover new ways to manage our stress and emotional well-being, or it will rule —and ultimately ruin — our lives. However, managing that stress and sometimes realizing you can’t control everything isn’t easy for us. As entrepreneurs, we would rather play by our own rules. I still struggle with how to properly maintain that balance between spilling over with ideas and keeping myself well. It takes practice.

    Earlier this year, I had huge plans to take the business to new heights. It was project after project. Except, this time, I had the strength to say, “One thing at a time.” I started keeping an organized list of ideas prioritized by importance, relevance and urgency. And I’ve allowed myself room to really focus on one seed in my garden of ideas.

    This is the kind of advice you’ll often get when going to a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. Focus on the things that matter today. The more we get caught up in the things that may affect us tomorrow (or six months from now) the more we lose sight of the moment in which we can make a real impact as an entrepreneur.

    Don’t stop. Pace yourself.

    You must continue planting seeds. I will fight for this, always. But before that, you must not bury yourselves in work for the sake of saying, “I did it.” Your loved ones won’t care what you did if it breaks you. We chose this path of entrepreneurship for various reasons, be it for financial freedom, flexibility or to make an impact on the world. We are in control of our destinies. And if we remember that fact and hold ourselves accountable, not only to our businesses but to our whole selves, we will always be capable of making the impossible extremely, undeniably and wildly possible.

    Related: 8 Self-Care Tips From Wildly Successful Entrepreneurs

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    DeAnna Spoerl

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  • 3 Gratitude Practices I Tried That Turned Into Long-Term Habits | Entrepreneur

    3 Gratitude Practices I Tried That Turned Into Long-Term Habits | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    In my 20s, it seemed easy to maintain a positive outlook on life. It was a simpler time with a lot less that could go wrong. As the years passed, I started collecting responsibilities — and bad things happened along with the good. When I started my company, I faced new, unchartered challenges. At one point, my business nearly collapsed. As a result, my outlook shifted to a more negative place. Business problems and other life responsibilities in 2007 took control and made some days outright bad ones. My tone changed from upbeat to downbeat. I started having trouble seeing the good in things. That change in outlook affected my health, inviting more “misfortune.”

    Though it wasn’t a conscious effort, I began to collect strategies to recapture the happy, positive mindset of my twenties. I had previously thought that whether a person thinks the glass is half-full or half-empty was genetically hardwired. At some point, I realized that any hardwiring could be overpowered by events. My parents taught me that a positive attitude was the foundation for a good life. I never thought that maintaining one would take practice or need support, but as it turns out: It does.

    Today, I practice three regular habits to keep my outlook positive.

    Related: Want A Major Business and Life Hack? Learn to Harness the Power of Gratitude. Here’s How to Do It.

    1. “The Greatest Hits” meeting

    As a business leader, most of the company’s challenging issues make their way to your desk. When you see so many problems, you get the feeling that’s all there is — problems. Rationally, you know that is not the case, but in order to instill the proper perspective, we started our “Greatest Hits” meetings.

    Every week at 9 a.m., the key people in our company share their latest and greatest hits for 10 minutes. Prior to the meeting, they fill out our unique Post-It prompting their answers. Each person shares two examples of something they are proud of: either something noteworthy they saw someone else do or something that happened around the company. They then share a personal hit — something from their personal life that they are thankful for.

    With six attendees, each week we hear 18 positive things that went right. In a year, that’s almost 1,000 good things! Without this process, I would not even be aware of most of these 1,000 greatest hits. The huge benefit to me is a weekly reminder that 90% of things are going right, even when it feels like 90% are going wrong. It boosts team morale and confidence, too.

    2. Thankful Thursday

    Another habit I developed is now known as Thankful Thursday. Every Thursday afternoon, I express gratitude to others for what they have done for me over the prior week.

    I use a few prompts for this. I jot down things as they happen on a “Grateful to You” notepad. I keep my post-it note from the Greatest Hits meeting to spark other ideas. I look at the prior week’s calendar to jog my memory on everything I did and who I met with and review my phone pictures. I write it all down on the Grateful notepad, then decide how best to appreciate those people.

    This practice has evolved to the point where I have a gratitude wall in my office with an array of cards I send people. I spend about 20 minutes sending out cards, letters, gifts, emails and entering relevant company items in a Core Value Highlights database.

    This habit accomplishes more than you might think. Of course, it makes me realize all the things I have to be thankful for (usually four to eight each week) and appreciate them more.

    With team members, it reinforces positive behavior, noteworthy actions and standout job performance. I find that people are universally motivated by being appreciated. When you do a good job of that, they are more motivated, repeat the excellent performance and enjoy better morale for feeling properly appreciated. I often see my notes on their office walls. I think doing a good job of appreciating people is a major contributor to the high ratings we receive on Glassdoor from former employees. In my experience, I receive five times the feedback from showing gratitude to team members compared with monetary recognition in the form of raises or profit sharing.

    Non-employees also enjoy being recognized for doing something for the company. Handwritten thank-yous are rare enough now that sometimes I even get thank-yous for the thank-yous!

    Related: How to Practice Gratitude as a Business Skill

    3. The 90/10 Rule

    Think about it: most — let’s say 90% — of the things that you worry may happen never come to pass. It might actually be more like 95%. When I first heard that 30 years ago, I didn’t necessarily believe it. But after 30 years of observing what I stress or think about versus the final outcome, the rule is absolutely true.

    The trick is to retrain your human nature that self-preserves by worrying to try not to worry while life is happening around you. That is probably a whole separate article unto itself — but if you can train yourself to only “worry” or dwell on something when it actually becomes a legitimate problem, you become 90% happier.

    The habits I practice are by no means an all-inclusive list of how leaders can keep gratitude top-of-mind to elevate their companies and stay positive. But they are the three that I put into regular practice. Each has nuances that are beneficial to me and my team (or both).

    No matter how you incorporate gratitude into your business, I encourage you to do so. Start now, get creative, experiment with different techniques and find what resonates most — because everyone benefits from an increase in gratitude and innovative ways to incorporate it.

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    Barry Raber

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  • A Lesson for Colleges on Student Mental Health: Try New Things on a Small Scale

    A Lesson for Colleges on Student Mental Health: Try New Things on a Small Scale

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    Everyone is worried about students’ mental health. What can colleges actually do to help?

    During a Friday session at the American Council on Education’s annual meeting, three researchers offered lessons learned from new research focused on eight colleges. Their core message was that administrators should start small, experiment with interventions, frequently assess how students feel about the interventions, and change course as needed.

    Students don’t view their campus experience as a collection of offices and departments, like administrators often do, said Jennifer Maltby, director of data, analytics, and planning at the Rochester Institute of Technology. That should inform colleges’ approach to troubleshooting students’ mental-health challenges, Maltby said.

    Improving student mental health is as complex as raising a child, said Allison Smith, director of health strategy and outcomes at New York University, and both tasks require constant adaptation to fit shifting needs.

    Two other key findings were that colleges should pinpoint which student demographic groups are disproportionately failing to thrive, and that institutions should tailor their goals to improve the experiences of specific student populations, rather than attempting to create a blanket solution that will work for every student.

    “For a trans student, that means being called the right name and right pronouns in class,” Smith said. “For a student of faith, that means being able to observe their religious holidays without getting penalized.”

    Researchers also discovered that having a “core team” of four to eight individuals working to change an institution’s systems was an ideal management structure.

    It’s impossible for one administrator, such as a vice president for student well-being, to reach every student and make the necessary changes that can improve students’ mental health, Smith said.

    Inside the Research

    The research followed Case Western Reserve University, New York University, Cornell University, the Rochester Institute of Technology, Texas A&M University, Stanford University, the University at Albany in the State University of New York system, and the University of California at Los Angeles.

    The study examined whether a concept known as “Triple Aim” — the idea that, simultaneously, a population can become healthier, health-care costs can decrease, and the quality of care can improve — could apply to student well-being. Smith is a co-founder of the Action Network for Equitable Wellbeing, a new collaborative of organizations dedicated to improving students’ mental health that aims to expand the effort to more colleges.

    The colleges involved in the study frequently collected data through a survey called the Wellbeing Improvement Survey for Higher Education Settings, allowing researchers to get a clear picture of what was working.

    Maltby said one intervention at RIT focused on professors and students. Three professors were encouraged to include statements on their syllabi saying they cared about mental health and knew college was challenging.

    Feedback from students was initially positive, and the initiative grew. But when the statement was included in the syllabi of 30 professors, the results changed. Students didn’t always feel that professors who included the statement on their syllabus acted in a way that showed they genuinely cared, ultimately causing more harm for students than good. Maltby’s team later discovered that marginalized students were disproportionately experiencing this harm.

    “We were able to really pull back and say we’re not going to try and implement this statement universitywide because we understand that there are potential impacts on that for our students that are going to be negative,” Maltby said.

    While it might seem resource-intensive to talk individually with students to get a better understanding of their lives and to collect data so frequently, Maltby believes the study’s approach could work for a range of colleges.

    “Oftentimes folks will say it’s not possible or we can’t do it that way, and I think one of the things we’ve learned, especially through Covid, is that we can do lots of things that we previously thought were impossible when we have the will and interest to do that.” Maltby said.

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    Kate Marijolovic

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  • How Counseling Can Help Entrepreneurs Working With a Spouse | Entrepreneur

    How Counseling Can Help Entrepreneurs Working With a Spouse | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    My husband and I have run businesses together since we were in law school. We sold our first business to Intuit in 2005. Still feeling the entrepreneurial bug, we built a second business we’re still running today. Together, we’ve raised four kids and a multimillion-dollar business — a success story, yes, but not without its challenges at home and in the office.

    While not everyone welcomes the idea of getting professional counseling, from my viewpoint — and personal experience — counseling can help in ways you didn’t think possible. For example, in a recent American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) study, almost 90% of marriage therapy clients reported an improvement in their emotional health, and most noted an improvement at work and in the couple’s relationship.

    Related: The Science Behind Working With Your Spouse

    Here are a few takeaways from my experience with professional counseling:

    Build strength: Counseling not only strengthened our marriage but also made our business relationship stronger by showing us how to communicate more effectively and focus on each other’s feelings rather than the facts. If you’re not sure you’re communicating enough, over-communicate just to be sure.

    Learn the owner’s manual: Just as you need an owner’s manual to operate a washing machine, you must learn your partner’s personal “owner’s manual” (i.e. what makes them tick, what makes them happy or sad, what causes frustration, etc.).

    Don’t assume you know your partner better than anyone else because you’re married or in a relationship. Instead, do some homework and have each partner create a personal user manual. Write an outline of how you like to work, share responsibilities, collaborate, communicate and receive feedback. It may sound like a trigger for a fight, but getting to know yourself and your partner better can be a fun exercise. (A personal user’s manual is also an excellent way to learn about new employees in your business!)

    Learn to listen: Most people listen to what’s being said while preparing an answer in their heads, which means they’re not really listening. Counseling taught us to use “mirroring techniques,” which means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes to try and understand what they’re feeling and how they communicate their feelings. Everyone wants to feel acknowledged and validated; empathy is the best way to show you are listening.

    The three Fs: Another effective technique we learned in counseling, the “three Fs,” comes in handy especially when you need to bring up a touchy subject. Although most know we should tread carefully when approaching a sensitive topic, emotions often get out of hand and a constructive discussion becomes a huge argument. The tendency to place blame can wreak havoc in work and personal relationships.

    Related: The Simple Magic to Working With Your Spouse

    You can be assertive, make sure you’re heard and produce a healthy confrontation using the three Fs: 1) fact, 2) feeling and 3) fair request.

    1. Fact: Start by considering what can be agreed on. Point out the issue objectively and without judgment. Whether a report deadline was missed or a kid was left unpicked up from a soccer game, state the fact of the problem without using the words “you forgot” or “you didn’t do this.”
    2. Feeling: Next, assertively state the mistake’s impact. Because this part expresses a feeling, you should use the word “I” but without placing blame. For example, “Now, I need to work late to file the document,” or “I need to go pick up Jane from soccer.”
    3. Fair request: Finally, it’s time to communicate the need — a specific, reasonable, fair request. “Can we set up a system to remind us of deadlines?” or “Can we have set days to pick up kids from games?”

    Find the right counselor

    All counselors are not created equal, and you may not immediately mesh with the first one you meet. To find a good fit, approach finding a counselor as you would hiring a new employee.

    First, make sure the counselor holds the same values as you and your partner — the same basic belief system. Also, look for a counselor with experience helping couples with marital issues and running a business. After meeting with the counselor, talk to your spouse about how they feel about the person. You may feel the person is a good match, but counseling will most likely fail if your spouse doesn’t.

    Related: What You Need to Make Business Work With Your Spouse

    The biggest mistake many couples make is to view counseling as a way to show your partner you’re right and that the counselor will convince your partner to agree with you. Instead, counseling aims to help couples understand and resolve conflicts to improve their business and home relationships. And it offers couples the right tools to communicate and deal with conflict healthily.

    Working couples need to agree that their relationship comes first and learn to value and prioritize their marriage. Being in business with a spouse should be a unifying experience, where a strong understanding of each other’s work allows both to provide valuable advice and support. And when — inevitably — reunification tactics are needed, counseling can get you back on track.

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    Nellie Akalp

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  • How Daily Exercise Helped Me Lead a Truly Productive Life | Entrepreneur

    How Daily Exercise Helped Me Lead a Truly Productive Life | Entrepreneur

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    At the start of 2014, I couldn’t run a mile. That year, I began to test theories about change and growth. I wanted to know if simple effort and consistent practice are enough to truly improve our skills and abilities.

    Turns out, they are. At the end of 2014, I ran my first official 5K race. By the end of 2015, I had run 20 half-marathons. Today, I’ve run over 200 half marathons and 11 full marathons, totaling 12,000 miles. I once “hated” the idea of running. Now, it’s my greatest love in life. The biggest surprise I’ve had is running hasn’t just transformed me physically — it’s transformed me mentally, too. Here’s what it’s taught me:

    Related: How Exercising Daily Has Made Me a Better Entrepreneur

    1. Sometimes, life is hard — but we can do hard things

    Running, especially in the beginning, was incredibly difficult for me. I’d never practiced it. Even jogging a few blocks left me out of breath and gasping for air. As I worked to improve as a runner, I realized that sometimes life is hard. It’s supposed to be that way. When we ditch our affinity for ease and comfort and instead embrace struggle and challenge, we open ourselves up to a whole new universe of possibilities. Instead of saying, “I can’t do that. That sounds hard,” we can lean in. As we do, several things happen.

    First, things we once deemed hard become easier. Our skills and strength aren’t fixed quantities — they can grow and expand. We improve, which allows us to handle more complicated scenarios and solve more complex equations. Second, we stop expecting things to be easy. When we don’t expect things to be easy, we grow comfortable with some adversity and pain. That’s when we find out that we can actually withstand adversity and push through. Consistent, daily effort and practice is the catalyst that ignites this process. In the beginning, you may not see massive changes, but you have to trust that it’s working.

    2. Our beliefs are the limiting reagent in the chemistry of our minds

    When we want to do something, it’s imperative that we believe we actually can. Our brain likes to be right, so it constantly looks for ways to validate or prove its beliefs. What we sometimes forget, however, is that we get to decide what we believe — and we can update our beliefs at any time.

    When I began running, I often believed that I simply couldn’t run any farther or take another step. “You’ve gone far enough, it’s time to stop,” my brain would shout at me. Then, I learned how to talk back to my brain. “Let’s just get to the red light,” I’d negotiate. Then, “How about just one more mile?” I’ve found that our bodies will do whatever our brains tell us to do. Often, we can accomplish much more than we think we can. We can keep going long after we think we can’t.

    As humans, many fall prey to this daily. We believe that reaching a compromise or agreement is impossible. So, it is. We believe a problem is unsolvable. So, it is. But almost always, if we believe there’s a way through and we remain determined to find it, we will. Here’s a tip: Taking a break from a problem and coming back to it later can be a remarkable tool. Just like our muscles, our brains sometimes need time to rest and rejuvenate. When you feel you can’t do anymore, come back after you’ve allowed your brain or body time to breathe. It’s amazing how differently you’ll view things after a break. This process refreshes stamina and creativity.

    Related: 4 Scientific Reasons Exercising Is an Entrepreneur’s Biggest Competitive Advantage

    3. Tools and resources are always available to help us; don’t go it alone

    With regards to literally everything in life — our relationships, our professional pursuits, our health and fitness goals — there is a plethora of research, books and mentors there to guide us. There is always someone who has already done what we want to do. Find these people, make friends with them and directly ask them for advice and mentorship. Observe them closely; learn from their examples.

    So often, we are afraid to ask for help for fear of looking foolish or being viewed as incompetent. We sometimes feel that we should do it all alone. This is a mistake. Reach out and leverage the people who have traveled in your shoes before. We, as humans, are not meant to function completely independently. In fact, our mere survival depends on our cooperation and partnerships with one another. With regard to my running, podiatrists have advised me on my feet and my shoes, friends have shared the financial burden of housing me during races and apps have provided me with music and tracking of my results. Without this, much of my running wouldn’t have been sustainable.

    4. Success is not a straight line; don’t expect every day to be amazing

    With regard to any problem we want to solve or any competency we want to develop, it can be tempting to think that every day should be better than the last. We sometimes think that once we’ve set a goal, started down a path and made headway, it should be nothing but smooth sailing.

    That thinking can cripple us. This is not how success works. There will be days when we lack the motivation to press forward. There will be disruption in our business. Unfavorable economic environments and new competitors in our marketplace can send us into a tailspin. Pouring rain can show up on the day we planned for our long run or you might twist an ankle on race day. These things happen. We sometimes take a step forward to only take two steps back. There are moments we might regress. What we do in these moments will define the trajectory of our lives. When we anticipate these moments, we handle them better than if we deny or ignore their existence. One of the best ways to avoid falling into this trap is to constantly remember our why and to stay passionate about and committed to not just the end results, but the journey.

    Without these four strategies, I would have failed as a runner, but also as a leader, a coach, an author, a friend and a partner. All these areas have thrown me challenges. Before becoming a runner, I didn’t want to struggle in life. When things got tough, I was more prone to quit or give up. Running has taught me that struggle simply means we’re growing. It’s taught me that no matter what’s happening around me, I always get to choose my response. Now, I use that in every area of my life, which has changed literally everything — maybe it can change yours, too.

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    Amy M Chambers

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  • You Can’t Stop Quiet Quitting, But Here’s How You Can Prevent It

    You Can’t Stop Quiet Quitting, But Here’s How You Can Prevent It

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    Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

    The new workplace trend known as quiet quitting has left office managers and employers up in arms over what to do to keep employees engaged and enchanted — just as companies were able to rebound from the tumultuous conditions brought on by the Great Resignation, which saw nearly 19 million employees quit their jobs.

    But even as employees left their jobs in droves last year in hopes of changing their careers or landing a more purposeful job somewhere else, quiet quitting has become the workplace trend that just doesn’t want to quit.

    Unlike the Great Resignation, which simply meant employees were leaving their jobs because they felt burned out, stressed and anxious — quiet quitting resembles an attitude of setting boundaries and not taking work too seriously.

    It’s a workplace trend that has inspired millions of workers to “act their wage,” leaving them to only do what is required of them and not go above and beyond.

    Related: Employers Should Fear The Truth Behind Quiet Quitting. Here’s Why.

    It’s more than just quitting

    After years of reconfiguring the workplace environment due to the pandemic and the onset of remote work, employees still seem to be quitting their jobs despite economic and financial uncertainty looming.

    The Talkspace and The Harris Poll Employee Stress Check 2022 Report found that employees ages 18 to 34 years are most likely to experience high levels of stress and anxiety in their jobs leading to factors such as feeling burned out. At the same time, a Gallup study found that those employees born after 1989 (55%) are less likely to be engaged in their jobs.

    There’s evidence of employees quitting their jobs in the hopes of finding something more worthwhile and meaningful — around 40% according to McKinsey research. For others, quiet quitting in the office has become a major headache for managers, human resource staff and employers alike.

    It’s not completely possible to stop quiet quitting in its tracks or control it from spreading across the office like wildfire. There is, however, room for proactive ways to overcome quiet quitting in the office.

    Talk to employees

    Any employee can become disengaged at work, and it’s even harder to assume someone is quietly quitting based on their performance. Various factors can influence performance from the workload to the workplace environment.

    Executive personnel should take the time and effort to talk to employees to get a better view and understanding of their possible disengagement at work. Seek to monitor employee stress levels and their current workload. This will help to understand whether an employee is simply overworked, or actively quiet quitting.

    Make an effort to invest in employee well-being — not only for the sake of improving office morale or company loyalty, but to better understand where possible workplace challenges are causing employees to do the bare minimum.

    Related: Quiet Quitting Is Taking Over the Workforce. Here’s How to Fix It.

    Understand employee needs

    Often and more than usual, employees who exhort feelings of quiet quitting will do so to get back at their employer or manager simply because they feel overworked and underappreciated.

    In this case, it’s the ideal time to start promoting employee engagement through active conversations. The idea is not to simply talk about any workplace-related pains, but actively look to resolve the issues with workable solutions.

    Research shows that how employers and managers treat their subordinates will make a big difference in whether people will remain loyal to the company or start resembling traits of quiet quitting. Furthermore, employees who feel emotionally and psychologically disengaged from their employers are less likely to speak out about possible grievances.

    The best and easiest solution, in this case, is to promote employee dialogue among those experiencing high levels of stress and burnout, sooner rather than later.

    Advocate employee recognition

    Often, employees start to become disinterested and disengaged in their work due to a lack of recognition. This helps to kindle quiet quitting even more.

    Employees who feel their efforts are being recognized, either by their boss, manager or team members, will see value in doing more than what is expected of them. Yet, in the same breath, it’s not easy for those in power to monitor recognition-worth progress among a large team of workers.

    It’s important to consider the type of contribution certain employees are making, and what they are bringing to the table during projects and team meetings. Employees that are disconnecting themselves from projects and other teamwork will have an affect on other workers, as well as the overall team performance.

    As a rule, employers and managers, and in some cases HR, should understand the impact employees are making and how they are actively contributing to the overall success of the company.

    Related: From the Great Resignation to Quiet Quitting, Here’s Why Good People are Really Leaving and How to Keep Them.

    Mentor employees in their careers

    Quiet quitting is often about making a career change or taking on a new job without quite knowing how to do it successfully. In most instances, it’s common for employees to change their jobs every so often. But for those that are looking to commit to a career change, without the right guidance, they can often feel overwhelmed and anxious doing so.

    Knowing that employees are willing to make a career shift, or have come to terms with finding a new job, it should be a time when employers or managers can help to offer career management advice. For many employees, leaping into something unknown is a thought riddled with anxiety. To prevent quiet quitters from slowing progress and performance in the office, employers need to help employees better manage their careers and prospects within the company.

    Finishing off

    Quiet quitting isn’t going away anytime soon. It’s not possible to stop it dead in its tracks before it comes into your office. There will come a time when employers and managers will need to step in to help assess employee well-being and performance based on their workload, engagement and company loyalty.

    Head-hunting quiet quitters is not the right way to deal with the situation. Yet it is possible to effectively communicate with employees about their current working conditions and help promote a healthy work-life balance. Make sure to be a leader more than a boss, and advocate employee well-being. It’s better to help employees, rather than leave them to hurt your company’s bottom line.

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    Pierre Raymond

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