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  • You’re Not Going to Cannes, But You Can Play the Cannes Board Game

    You’re Not Going to Cannes, But You Can Play the Cannes Board Game

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    Photo: Kristy Sparow/Getty Images

    It’s Cannes 2024, and you’re not going and neither am I. Might I suggest a board game inspired by the iconique festival of film?

    In Cannes: Stars, Scripts, and Screens, players are small-time producers trying to make and sell as many genre films as possible. Dutch board-game company Splotter Spellen — a cult favorite among fans of complicated strategy games with too many tiny pieces — released Cannes in 2002 and never reprinted it. The tone of its unhelpful rule book is cheeky, taunting: “Maybe this year you’ll make it big … nominations are due to be published any day now, and hey, who knows, maybe you will finally get that Oscar or Palme d’Or you deserve. Or will you?” (What resentful screenwriter lent their skills to that copy?) “They say girlie movies like you’ve been making lately are going out of fashion, that the modern public has a yearning for plotless action titles. Maybe it is time to invite that rotten art critic over for drinks and convince her of the value of your masterpieces … or tune into the old boys’ network and really get the show on the road.”

    My own version of an old boys’ network — my group chat of female film professionals who all live near one another in New York — tipped me off to the game, dropping it into conversation somewhere between dissing the new Harmony Korine and scheming about plus-ones for a MoMA party. When I found a reseller hawking it, I was taken by the kitschy hand-painted artwork and the prospect of seeing myself mocked as I am indeed the rotten art critic. Of course, you can bribe me with a hot invitation.

    Cannes is a turn-based game of collecting resources. To make an action movie, for example, you need a celebrity and a special effect. To get a special effect, you need a computer. To get a computer, you need a computer chip — in the illustration, it’s held between two fingers with long red nails. The hexagonal tiles evoke a more popular game of exacting Germanic origin, Settlers of Catan. With wheat fields and woodlands replaced by beer steins and printer paper, Cannes is a highfalutin version of survival, though it hasn’t yet evolved past cell phones with antennae. At the top of the kingdom is, like, Vincent Gallo.

    It takes a while to corral the group chat into playing. We’ve got a couple of publicists deep in a promotion cycle (for The People’s Joker, comedian Vera Drew’s anarchic debut feature). I escape to L.A. One writer is in the final round of interviews for a role at Film at Lincoln Center. We once reschedule to catch a self-distributed movie while it’s screening at the Roxy.

    When we finally sit down to play, independent filmmaker Kit Zauhar, who has walked her fair share of well-trodden red carpets, joins. “It feels like it contains the nuances of a real film festival,” she says. “You have to get fucked-up, meet some disgusting old man … I guess you should also be smoking cigars.”

    Indeed, tiny cardboard cigars represent the Harvey Weinsteins and Scott Rudins. (Remember, we have returned to 2002.) They act as permanent links in a production network, freeing you up to join a party or pursue a special-effects tile despite its incompatibility with your current marquee.

    The game ends when the tiles run out, which Splotter thinks should take between 45 and 90 minutes. We skewed toward 90. I win, marginally, with 13 million dollars made from my romance film. While it has no bearing on points, it was decided that the film stars Sydney Sweeney, prompting discussion of whether it’s a bad sign if a man is adamantly into Sydney Sweeney. It is worth searching “Sydney Sweeney Cannes 2023” for the dresses, though she was not on the Croisette to promote a film but to co-host a lunch with Miu Miu. To get in the mind of the Cannes player, you should work yourself up about the state of culture and its infrastructure; you should feel bitterness coursing through you — about not having the right connections, look, or funds to achieve star status.

    While the world’s most prestigious film festival is open to all genres, the odds are stacked so that it takes a miraculous combination of elements to get a horror or low-budget indie into the competition. The Cannes game wouldn’t be so charming without the feeling that you really are down and out and need just one IFC exec to take a chance on you.

    Most of all, it inspires wistfulness about being in your railroad apartment’s living room and not skipping a screening to drink an Aperol spritz. You aren’t even a local teen dressed in mandatory black tie holding a handmade sign asking for unused tickets. Only two of us are going to the festival this year. As we play, they’re texting about a room for rent, tallying euros. “Is it worth it?” I ask.

    “It is so fun, the most fun,” my friends tell me. “You just need to be there and see it.” They proceed to recount a surfeit of juicy, off-the-record stories about the infamous eligible bachelors of the genre-film world, a scene Zauhar describes as having “low-key band-geek vibes.”

    I resolve to go one day, and it won’t be for men or money but to witness firsthand this event that’s so singular someone made a board game out of it. Until then, I’ll be practicing.

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    Greta Rainbow

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  • The Best Berserk Adaptation Is Finally Available Again

    The Best Berserk Adaptation Is Finally Available Again

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    I don’t care about any new animated show this year more than I do the reissue of a 24-year-old one with dated animation and a frustratingly incomplete story. This week, the original 1997 anime adaptation of the late Kentaro Miura’s manga Berserk, only ever released on home video domestically, came back in print in the United States and sold out within a day of its debut this Tuesday. Luckily, knowing the show had been unavailable to buy or legally stream for about a decade, I had planned ahead. As its distributor Discotek raced to get new copies out to stores like Crunchyroll and Amazon this week, I poured some bourbon, hit play on my preordered Blu-rays, and dove back into the beauty and brutality of Berserk.

    Set in a dark fantasy world dominated by feudal empires and similar to medieval Europe, the show follows Guts, a burly wall of an anti-hero racked with guilt and trauma. We meet him in the first episode as “The Black Swordsman,” a cruel and committed slayer of the demons that prey upon the countryside. An abused child who grew into a violent and cursed man, Guts wields a colossal sword — a heavy slab of metal seven feet long and perpetually soaked in blood — and a gruff, merciless attitude. He also has only one eye and one arm. At the end of the first episode, after Guts destroys a demon who reminds him of his past, the show immediately flashes back to his teenage years as a young warrior, before he lost his eye, his arm, and his humanity. This Berserk anime, which preceded a workaday 2012 film series adapting the same arc and a reviled 2016 adaptation, is largely a prelude to Guts’s story in the ongoing manga: Over the course of 25 episodes, we watch his power grow and his shell soften as he finds allies in the warriors Griffith and Casca and overcomes the traumas of his childhood, even as he improves his skills as a mercenary. As the young Guts begins to find meaning in those friendships and relationships, though, tragedy rips them away.

    We won’t spoil more than that, except to note that the specific horrors of the series include grotesquely graphic cruelties and shocking sexual violence. Like other epic series such as Game of Thrones or Vikings, Berserk is known for not pulling punches, and not only are the show’s demons literal agents of hell, they also prey upon the psychological and societal ills of the medieval world Miura created. In the story, torture, rape, and genocide are all wielded to break individuals and kingdoms, as they are in real life. Nonetheless, we empathize more and more deeply with Guts as the show progresses; he is introduced to us as a vicious monster, but we come to understand the experiences that shaped him, and how he keeps struggling through them, despite the pain they caused him.

    Every episode begins with a narrator’s epigraph on causality and free will — “Man has no control, even over his own will” — but Guts’s actions prove we’re not meant to believe that: The point is that no matter what he faces, Guts continues to strive. In Miura’s manga, the same quote appears, but it goes on, hammering that point home, “Man takes up the sword to shield the small wound in his heart sustained in a far-off time beyond remembrance.” Berserk may be a hyperviolent story, but it’s not an edgelord’s power fantasy: It’s a dark tragedy about how difficult waking up to a ruthless world every day can be, especially if you have dreams beyond fighting.

    The animation in the 1997 adaptation underscores the point. Think of the most impressive, immersive action animation you’ve seen, old or new, and you’ll likely think of characters in motion. The fluidity of the bike races of Akira and staccato styling of Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse often feel like the most important elements of those films’ success. But they’re not. What’s most important is tempo and pacing — balancing the fluid, high-budget action with deliberate, evocative character building. Berserk has that in spades — in part because director Naohito Takahashi and studio Oriental Light and Magic (which also released Pokémon the same year) had to allocate animation budgets carefully. As a result, it’s full of conversations where the only visible movements are lip-flapping, slow pans over painted backgrounds, and the occasional still spliced right into an action scene, but they all still punch hard.

    The show’s most poignant episode, “Bonfire of Dreams,” is built largely around a conversation Guts has with Casca, standing alone and overlooking his comrades’ camp at night. The scene’s emotional power comes from its stillness, its music, and an artistry that amounts largely to simple, slow animation framed in front of gorgeously painted backgrounds. The scene doesn’t need much else, because Miura’s source material, the direction by Takahashi, and the art direction overseen by Shichirō Kobayashi do all the work that flashy animation cannot. Neither anime adaptation of Berserk released since could touch this show’s sense of style.

    But that limited, controlled cartooning also feels like the most undersung aspect of anime series. The manga produced by Miura is legendary and has inspired fellow artists, metal bands, and video-game series like Castlevania, Dark Souls, and Elden Ring for decades. The manga is also intricately detailed, a work that relishes in double-page spreads of supernatural landscapes and the details of every segment of Guts’s black armor — to say nothing of the hundreds of pages in which he swings his sword. Miura, who died in 2021, created a masterwork, and though this translation doesn’t capture the full richness of his pencils or the entirety of his story, it remains the best adaptation we have of Berserk. Like Guts, it will never be whole, but in a way, that’s fitting.

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    By Eric Vilas-Boas

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