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  • Every Lady Gaga Song, Ranked

    Every Lady Gaga Song, Ranked

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    Over the years, Gaga’s shape-shifting has painted a collective portrait of a complex, restless, fearless woman.
    Photo: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

    *This article was originally published in November 2018. It has been updated to include subsequent releases. Lady Gaga’s Jazz and Piano residency at Park MGM runs through July 6, 2024.

    Although Lady Gaga has been a household name for more than a decade, the first half of her career still feels as daring, vital, and relevant as ever. From her 2008 debut, The Fame, to 2014, when the ARTPOP-hype bubble burst, Gaga sped through several careers’ worth of highs, lows, and controversies. Each release became an event; her every move was dissected by social media. Gaga’s imperial phase was such a whirlwind that, in hindsight, it feels as if we’ve yet to take the collective time to reflect on the full depth of her artistry. Looking back on her first four albums — The Fame, The Fame Monster, Born This Way, and ARTPOP — her sheer ambition was dizzying. No pop star of the 2010s was more committed to achieving transcendence through her art. She almost single-handedly raised the bar for pop music, videos, fashion, and live performances.

    But the comedown, if you can call it that, was fascinating in its own way. Since Cheek to Cheek, 2014’s duet album with Tony Bennett, we’ve witnessed a gradual unraveling of Gaga’s once messianic image. She was superwoman no longer, and 2016’s Joanne allowed her to be more vulnerable, to find a sense of equilibrium in her art.

    Lady Gaga has influenced several generations of weird, countercultural, often LGBTQ+ pop stars — everyone from Lorde to Sia, Nicki Minaj, Charli XCX, Halsey, Troye Sivan, SOPHIE, Janelle Monáe, Billie Eilish, Lil Nas X, and Dua Lipa owes Gaga some debt. Ironically, the sound of Gaga’s iconic dance-pop hits fell completely out of fashion alongside the moody, trap-tinged, playlist-centric downturn of late-2010s pop. But seemingly through sheer force of will, 2020’s Chromatica channeled four decades of house-music history to reclaim Gaga’s dance-pop throne for the first time since 2013.

    Since then, she has stayed busy — releasing the future-house Dawn of Chromatica remix album, leading the charge on Love for Sale (Tony Bennett’s final record and set of live performances after his Alzheimer’s diagnosis), and holding both pop and jazz-piano residencies in Las Vegas.

    It’s true that sometimes the dazzling, attention-seizing provocateur who gave us the VMAs meat dress and vomit art feels like a distant memory. Then she’ll go and do something like almost single-handedly carrying the quarantine-era 2020 VMAs or stealing the show in Ridley Scott’s House of Gucci, and you’ll remember — she’s still Lady Fucking Gaga.

    Over the years, Gaga’s shape-shifting has painted a collective portrait of a complex, restless, fearless woman. In every guise, she’s given it her all. No artist is completely original, but time has proven Lady Gaga sui generis. There’s no question that she’s an all-timer. What will she do next? Your guess is as good as hers.

    This list is less about judging Lady Gaga’s catalogue than making sense of the recent past — much of which we’ve already forgotten! It includes every commercially released studio track and her more significant featured credits. That gives us 136 songs, with fewer stinkers than you’d expect, and a top 70 that could rival any pop star’s catalogue. No list can represent every fan’s opinion, but I’ve tried my best to rank her songs (along with her more impactful videos) based on their emotional, autobiographical, and cultural significance. Disagree? To quote the Lady herself: “I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong / To crash the critic saying, ‘Is it right or is it wrong?’”

    The great Christmas songs balance joy and melancholy. “Christmas Tree,” on the other hand, is so tongue-in-cheek that it immediately collapses under its own weight. Less a song than a gag, every individual element is unpleasant: single-entendre lyrics; vocals and synths that aren’t even in the same key; and the less said about Space Cowboy’s guest verse, the better.

    First heard on Lady Gaga’s Myspace page in 2006, then cut from The Fame and later issued as a digital single, “Vanity” is a forgettable glam-pop romp that just barely hints at her true potential. As Gaga told New York Magazine in 2009, while still in the early stages of her journey, “We walk and talk and live and breathe who we are with such an incredible stench that eventually the stench becomes a reality. Our vanity is a positive thing. It’s made me the woman I am today.”

    This is the closest Gaga’s ever come to doing no-frills commercial R&B, but it’s far from convincing. With cliché lyrics drenched in bad auto-tune — “Would you make me number one on your playlist? / Got your Dre headphones with the left side on” — “Starstruck” felt dated almost immediately upon its release. Surprisingly, Flo Rida’s guest verse over-delivers.

    Included on international editions of The Fame, this Prince-inspired strut feels like a sketch that never develops past its title.

    With its stabbing, yet melodic strings, this is the third and last of Chromatica’s classical interludes. But at 28 seconds, it’s a mere intro to “Sine from Above,” and the only interlude that doesn’t dazzle on its own.

    Gaga’s fourth-best song with fashion in its title actually suits Heidi Montag better. Gaga playacts at the song’s narcissism, but Montag lives it.

    Tony Bennett chastises a former lover while Gaga provides a cheeky running commentary. It’s worth a laugh, but their rendition of this old standard is too fast, lacking anything except humor. Everyone from Frankie Lymon to Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, and Rosemary Clooney has recorded more definitive versions.

    Written about her brief, fruitless first record deal with Def Jam, the titular “paper gangsta” refers to L.A. Reid himself, who dropped Gaga after hearing her early studio recordings. To be fair, “Paper Gangsta” inspires little confidence. It might have worked as a piano ballad, but Gaga half-raps, half-sings the verses without committing to either, and her flow is as awkward as the auto-tune it’s lathered in.

    A RedOne production with a lot of “Poker Face” DNA, but far less of its charm.

    There are no bad versions of this Christmas standard, and this duet with Tony Bennett is fun — but Gaga sings the verses with an odd, brassy accent, almost as if she’s poking fun at the song a little too much.

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this playful Joanne bonus cut — it’s just inessential. A ’70s glam-soul vamp, it’s mostly memorable for Mark Ronson’s fuzz-guitar solo tribute to Mick Ronson (no relation).

    This gender-swapped electropop take on Mötley Crüe’s “Girls Girls Girls” contains the best worst lyric of Gaga’s career: “Love it when you call me legs / In the morning, buy me eggs.” This was nearly The Fame’s sixth single, until “Bad Romance” was released earlier instead. Can you imagine?

    A fun but shameless disco pastiche with an unbelievably on-the-nose bridge: “We got that disco, D-I-S-C-O / And we’re in heaven, H-E-A-V-E-N!”

    A blisteringly quick two-minute take on the Irving Berlin–penned standard. Tony Bennett already recorded better solo versions in both 1957 and ’87.

    This is one of the more obvious, less fanciful duets on Love for Sale, Gaga’s second album with Tony Bennett. It was recorded as a tribute to Cole Porter, a giant of the Great American Songbook, and Porter’s simpler-than-usual lyric allows less room for vocal interpretation. The long exchange of guitar and piano solos, though, is a treat indeed — but it’s worth seeking out Bennett’s ’70s recording with legendary jazz pianist Bill Evans, in which their interplay is spectacular throughout.

    Most of Cheek to Cheek’s best songs aren’t uptempo swing numbers, but slow, luxurious ballads. So it’s ironic that the album closes with this Duke Ellington classic, perhaps the song that embodies jazz’s big-band era. Gaga and Bennett are fine, yet a spectacular tenor sax solo outshines them both.

    Written (but not used) for the musical Gypsy, “Firefly” leans more toward theater than jazz. While it’s not an easy vocal line to sing, Gaga matches Bennett note for note.

    First performed by Ginger Rogers in 1937’s Shall We Dance, Ira Gershwin’s unique lyrics mix social commentary with romantic wit. Bennett and Gaga are charming enough, even if the song doesn’t lend itself especially well to duets.

    Pure, sweet escapism — check out that “Heart of Glass” guitar riff, and Gaga’s unusually Gwen Stefani–like chirp. “Summerboy” closed out most editions of The Fame, but the song in no way hinted at the bigger and better things to come.

    A ’50s-style country waltz that would be intolerably sappy if not for the sheer warmth of Gaga’s voice. Bradley Cooper’s rugged delivery is a little uptight, while Gaga is effortlessly soulful — sounding less like herself, and more like the gentler, less fiery Ally.

    “The Queen” immediately name-checks — you guessed it — “Killer Queen,” but its poppy synth-rock sounds more like Pat Benatar. Gaga sings about self-confidence yet manages to sound less inspired than on the rest of Born This Way, and the closing guitar solo deflates the song like a balloon. Why wouldn’t you go out shredding?

    A soaring Ally ballad that’s still poppy while remaining more organic than her dance tracks. To be sure, Gaga’s vocals are impressive here. Still, the song’s too underwritten to linger in the memory, and it’s barely featured in the film.

    In A Star Is Born, this ballad soundtracks Jackson and Ally’s impromptu wedding, but beneath their musical declarations of love lies a thinly veiled layer of desperation. Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson could have sung this to each other, but it may be too sentimental for some listeners.

    In classical terms, this begins as an Adagio in D minor — a slow lament led by a solo cello, that accelerates into a chaotic swell of strings. Brief yet grandiose, it’s a perfect intro to the robotic synthpop of “911.”

    Tony Bennett may be the king of the leisurely jazz vocal, but he undoubtedly undersings this version of Cole Porter’s most iconic composition. He and Gaga don’t get to interact much, and the gentle nature of their chemistry means that she can’t sell the climactic lyrics: “And its torment won’t be through / ’Til you let me spend my life making love to you!” It’s a blessing that we get to hear a nonagenarian Bennett sing at all, but he already recorded a stunning rendition of this song for 1992’s Perfectly Frank — where his delivery is so sensuous that it still has the power to make you blush.

    Like all good synth-pop, “I Like It Rough” blends the human with the mechanical, though Gaga makes for an unconvincing fembot in the bridge. Could almost pass for Robyn or Goldfrapp.

    One of the most live-sounding tracks on Cheek to Cheek, Bennett and Gaga’s version revs up this Fred Astaire classic, ending with a spectacular call-and-response climax: “I won’t dance! I won’t dance!!” But like many of the songs in this lower-middle section of the list, it’s enjoyable, if not as essential as Gaga’s best.

    More soulful than most 2018 pop, more smoothed-out than the Gaga we’re used to. This is exactly the kind of song that’d get Ally onto countless Spotify playlists but wouldn’t quite make her a star.

    The Fame is an iconic album title, but the eponymous track never really crossed over into the broader consciousness. “The Fame” is a tongue-in-cheek ode to hedonism, fueled by Gaga’s steely determination to make it to the top. Her true potential lies in the dreamy, more sincere bridge: “Don’t ask me how or why, but I’m gonna make it happen this time / My teenage dream tonight.”

    This Elton John cover doesn’t quite reinvent the wheel, instead content to capture just enough of his old magic. When she sings in a low contralto, Gaga can sound like she’s doing an Elton impression — but when she leaps up an octave in the third verse, it’s breathtaking.

    “Jesus is the new black!” Over thumping electropop beats, Gaga relives her New York origin story, reimagining the city’s art scene as an “underground pop civilization” led by, well, Black Jesus.

    Love for Sale opens no differently than Cheek to Cheek — with Gaga introducing an evening of familiar, enthusiastic jazz standards. “It’s De-Lovely” is a delightful, rollicking way to kick off the set. This time, there’s an even stronger sense that Gaga is leading the dance, as her boisterous performance brings out the verve in Bennett.

    To quote Vulture’s Nate Jones, is this song “terrible, is it a bop, or is it a terrible song that’s also a bop?” The answer is … yes. For the haters, it’s an accurate portrayal of how repetitive modern pop sounds to their ears. But for pop fans, “Why Did You Do That?” is delightfully campy. The melody evokes 2001 Jennifer Lopez, but Gaga’s diva vocals clearly outclass the material — which is why it’s so fun! “Why do you look so good in those jeans? / Why’d you come around me with an ass like that?” Who needs answers when you have rhetorical questions like that?

    With its Chic bass line, chiming piano, and dazzling production, this is worlds better than 2009’s “Fashion” — yet a tad less vital than ARTPOP’s best. On Gaga’s 2013 Thanksgiving special, she performed the song with the supergroup it deserves: RuPaul and the Muppets.

    First sung by Bing Crosby, “But Beautiful” might be Bennett and Gaga’s most naturalistic duet on Cheek to Cheek, as they slowly escalate over four minutes to a gentle but devastating emotional climax.

    Lest we forget, Beyoncé and Gaga’s first collaboration preceded “Telephone” by four months. Neither the song, produced by Bangladesh of “A Milli” and “Diva” fame, nor the video, directed by Hype Williams, was quite as well-received as “Telephone.” But Beyoncé and Gaga clearly had chemistry, and the futuristic video was adventurous new territory for them both.

    A haunting-yet-groovy blues guitar tune where Bradley Cooper and Gaga dream of romantic betrayal and its consequences: “You’ve been out all night diggin’ my grave.” Cooper’s a natural blues singer, but Gaga’s belt dominates the mix.

    Ally’s first studio recording in A Star Is Born is a slice of charming if undercooked pop soul — like Duffy and Mark Ronson operating at 70 percent. It only really gets going halfway through, once Gaga leans into her higher register. Still, the song acts as a stylistic bridge between Ally’s bluesier songs with Jackson and her slick pop productions. The official video cheekily recuts the film into a romantic comedy, in case you were hoping for something more like Music and Lyrics.

    A glam-rock stomper set in a little beauty shop of horrors: “Can you feel it? Looking serial killer, man is a goner.” As fun and raucous as “MANiCURE” is, the repetitive chorus doesn’t quite fulfill the promise of the rest of the song.

    This song exists for one reason only: so Gaga could open the Born This Way Ball by coming out on a bionic unicorn. A Journey-like arena rock anthem, “Highway Unicorn” is the most obvious song on Born This Way, an album that’s in no way subtle.

    “Grigio Girls” was written for Sonja Durham, the Haus of Gaga’s longtime managing director, who died of cancer in 2017. It’s not a pop song, just an intimate moment shared between a close group of friends, turning their tears of mourning into wine. It sounds like nothing else in Lady Gaga’s discography — so much so that it’s hard to imagine her ever writing in this mode again.

    “Heaven, I’m in heaven / And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak,” sings Gaga as she opens this song, having the time of her life working with Tony Bennett. As on much of the album, Bennett plays the straight man as Gaga cheekily vamps around him.

    “A man loves a triple threat … / Hair, body, face” goes this song’s fabulous chorus, which was clearly not written with Jackson Maine or any straight male audience in mind. “Hair Body Face” could plausibly have fit on The Fame, though 2008 Gaga would’ve cranked up the irony.

    Lady Gaga’s voice is the first thing you hear on Cheek to Cheek — sounding familiar, yet unrecognizable in the album’s new-old setting. Longtime jazz fans might find this Cole Porter song selection overly familiar, but it’s hard not to be impressed by Gaga’s musicality.

    In Bennett’s favorite song from the eponymous album, he and Gaga deliver the joyous, up-tempo big-band arrangement you’d expect — complete with an adventurous bebop sax solo. Except these are Cole Porter lyrics from the perspective of a sex worker advertising her wares! Nothing but respect for Bennett and Gaga’s sex positivity, but they don’t deliver the song with the wink it needs to go all the way. It’s fascinating, though, to hear Bennett’s 1962 version, which he belts in a sonorous tenor with pure charisma.

    “I’m blonde, I’m skinny, I’m rich, and I’m a little bit of a bitch!” Gaga revisits The Fame’s hedonism with a tad more sophistication and, via Zedd, upgraded production. “Donatella” isn’t exactly deep, but Gaga makes high fashion’s possibilities feel endless, accessible to anyone.

    While Gaga is a convincing jazz vocalist, her readings aren’t always subtle. On this Jimmy McHugh cover, her tone is brassy, and clearly influenced by rock singers — but more charming for it. You’d never sing an original jazz composition this way, but standards were made to be reinterpreted.

    There’ve been many songs written about marijuana, but only one sung by a musical-theater kid over banging dubstep-EDM. The slowed-down, operatic bridge is magnificent: “I know that Mom and Dad think I’m a mess / But it’s alright, because I am rich as piss!”

    A David Bowie pastiche that, for many, was the first sign of the depth of Gaga’s musicianship. “Brown Eyes” is a breakup piano ballad, but Gaga snarls her way through the lyrics instead of confronting the tender emotions beneath the song’s surface. “I guess it’s just a silly song about you,” she sings — but later ballads like “Speechless” would be anything but silly.

    The only Lady Gaga track that dates back to her Stefani Germanotta Band years, it’s no wonder she kept this bluesy piano-rock jam — though it’s lightweight, she’s rarely sounded more effortlessly charming. “Again Again” is one of this era’s true hidden gems.

    In late 2013, trap beats hadn’t fully been gentrified by pop stars, let alone teen YouTubers recording diss tracks. So “Jewels n’ Drugs” was a total curveball on a major-label pop album, even one as weird and sprawling as ARTPOP. Featuring T.I., Too $hort, and Twista, it’s a genuinely underrated posse cut — even if little of its ferocity comes from Gaga herself.

    Gaga and Bennett sound young at heart in Love for Sale’s most playful duet. It’s wonderful to hear Bennett sing a 1934 composition with 2021 connotations: “But if, baby, I’m the bottom / You’re the top!” Cole Porter would be proud.

    The best known song from Cole Porter’s first hit Broadway musical, 1928’s Paris, “Let’s Do It” is packed full of campy, laugh-out-loud double entendres. On this solo cut, Gaga injects plenty of humor into her reading — even if she spends a little more effort riffing on the notes than bringing out the wit in the words.

    Gaga’s brassy belt brings out one of the album’s most passionate vocals from Bennett, who even lets out a spontaneous laugh toward the end of the song. There are countless recordings of this classic already, from Frank Sinatra to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, but the Gaga-Bennett duo sounds as worthy as any.

    Every beat on Born This Way hits hard, and this electro-glam metal fusion is no exception. But “Bad Kids” has a sweet, almost power-pop chorus, with Mother Monster at her most maternal: “Don’t be insecure if your heart is pure / You’re still good to me if you’re a bad kid, baby!”

    The lead single from Gaga and Bennett’s second album, “Kick” is a lyric about two cynical grouches who only get joy from each other — the perfect vehicle for Gaga and Bennett’s mutual charisma. Gaga has typically been the lead on their duets, but here, Bennett pulls out his best vocal performance on the album. (He still has the power to ascend into his once iconic tenor range, though the song sounds nothing like his 1957 rendition.) The recording and music video were even nominated for three Grammys in 2022 — one last honor for a man whose career predates the awards show itself.

    Hey, this isn’t jazz — it’s Cher! Funnily enough, Cheek to Cheek’s most original reading isn’t of a standard at all. Recorded live at the Lincoln Center, the band plays a bossa-nova take on the song while Gaga sings solo, wearing one of Cher’s own wigs. She mostly leans away from the song’s natural melodrama — until she belts the final verse with full diva theatrics.

    A sparse piano ballad that’s more reminiscent of Adele than Lady Gaga, where Ally pledges to love Jackson until the end of her life. Like all great musicals, A Star Is Born tells its story through its lyrics — though you might not pick up every nuance in the moment. “Is That Alright?” plays during the film’s end credits, a tragic ode to future dreams that’ll go unfulfilled.

    Gaga delivers this Cole Porter classic like a lullaby, indulging in the beauty of the song’s composition rather than dwelling on the lyrics’ regret. Her rendition on the Tonight Show is even gentler, and utterly mesmerizing.

    At the time, “Eh, Eh” — the follow-up to “Poker Face” outside the U.S. — sounded far too saccharine for Gaga’s fame-hungry ambitions. It seemed a step backward: an Ace of Base–like bubblegum-pop track, paired with a video where she plays Italian Housewife Barbie. But aside from its production, “Eh, Eh” could pass for a ’60s girl-group song. Listening to it today, Gaga’s sincerity shines through, as she waves good-bye to a former lover while trying not to hurt his feelings.

    Chromatica’s lone original bonus track is slower and less spectacular than anything on the album proper, but kind of great on its own terms. It’s carefree in sound, with echoes of Whitney Houston in the synths and Gaga’s effortless octave leap in the chorus, but desperate and confessional in its lyrics.

    Joanne isn’t the album you think it is — it’s groovier, wittier. Co-written with Beck, “Dancin’ in Circles” is one of the funnier songs about masturbation ever written, though that very quality makes it a tad inessential.

    This is one of the more straightforward lyrics on ARTPOP, but the track is weird as hell! Packed with twists and turns, brooding verses that explode into technicolor synth choruses, “Sexxx Dreams” embodies 2013 Gaga’s everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach to songwriting.

    Inspired by the death of Trayvon Martin, Joanne’s final track is a spiritual for the 2010s; a far cry from the fearless optimism of Gaga’s past albums. But it carries an important message: to not turn away from suffering. “Angel Down” puts into perspective the sense of death and loss that hangs over Joanne, from David Bowie and Amy Winehouse to Gaga’s aunt Joanne Germanotta. It functions as an unexpected reunion with her former producer RedOne, writing with Gaga for the first time since 2011 in a vastly different setting.

    A tribute to the best parts of Jackson and Ally’s creative and romantic relationship, “Always Remember Us This Way” sounds like vintage Carole King, with a hint of modern Nashville via Gaga’s three co-writers — Natalie Hemby, Lori McKenna, and Hillary Lindsey. In the film, Jackson recruits Ally as his touring keyboard player and backing vocalist, and later encourages her to perform this, one of her original songs, as their encore. Ally succeeds spectacularly — the crowd even chants her name! But “Always Remember Us This Way” isn’t exactly a showstopper — it’s the kind of song that charms you over multiple listens with its warm, familiar delivery.

    On ARTPOP, Lady Gaga embodied all of her personas at once — forcing listeners to make sense of the record’s sprawl themselves. The title track is the halfway point. A psychedelic synth journey through time and space. A question without an answer. “My artpop could mean anything,” sings Gaga — signifying what exactly?

    In early 2006, Stefani Germanotta was an earnest piano-rock balladeer. By the end of the year, she’d recorded this: disco-funk via Prince and the Scissor Sisters, but hungrier and more amoral. At the time, Gaga was far from rich — but that was her motivation. Like in the world of ballroom culture, she portrayed herself as an outcast indulging in tongue-in-cheek hedonism. Produced by her early mentor Rob Fusari, “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” perfectly encapsulates the attitude that would soon make her famous, but not the Eurodance sound … she hadn’t met RedOne yet.

    Gaga’s delightful first duet with Tony Bennett came during the middle of Born This Way’s album cycle. She couldn’t have been a bigger pop star, nor, to the surprise of many, a more triumphant jazz singer. But Gaga didn’t merely pay tribute to the past; she updated a beloved standard, and held her own against the Tony Bennett — who dubbed her “America’s Picasso” in the making.

    Gaga croons this Nat King Cole cover in a near whisper — the only time on Cheek to Cheek she plays it softer than Tony Bennett. It’s as sumptuous and beguiling as any version’s ever been.

    “You’re just a pig inside a human body / Squealer, squealer, squeal out, you’re so disgusting,” goes the chorus of “Swine,” the most uncomfortably strange song in Lady Gaga’s discography. Incited by her sexual assault at the hands of a music producer when she was 19, “Swine” urges you to embrace your deepest, darkest feelings of revulsion. Gaga casts predatory men as swine, but by the end of the song, she unleashes the inner pig inside us all: “Paint your face and / Be a swine just for the weekend!” “Swine” spawned some truly unhinged live performances, but the studio version is so bright and polished that it’s overwhelming — much like Jeff Koons’s eye-popping ARTPOP album cover.

    The follow-up single to “Poker Face,” “LoveGame” isn’t really about romance, or even sex — it’s about Gaga toying with us, her audience. It hasn’t aged as well as her other early singles, but in retrospect, its lyrics that seemed silly at the time — “disco stick,” “got my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid” — were memes-in-waiting. Gaga even began wielding a literal disco stick in live performances. The Joseph Kahn–directed music video brought Gaga’s entourage of dancers into the New York City subway, but even more impressive was her raucous performance at the 2009 MuchMusic Video Awards.

    “I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south,” opens Gaga’s horniest song to date. Bassy synths grind like metal guitars, buzzing with desire. The song’s fantasies are autobiographical, with references to Lüc Carl, the same metal-drummer boyfriend who inspired “Yoü and I.” Gaga asks, “I could be your girl, girl, girl … / But would you love me if I ruled the world?” The price of fame is steep, but she makes it sound so much more seductive than romance.

    A muscular disco-rock power ballad, “Perfect Illusion” swung for the fences, but Gaga’s vocals felt overwrought and underwritten — too melodramatic to forge a real emotional connection. The song played a pivotal part in Gaga: Five Foot Two, her 2017 Netflix documentary, where its mixed reception seemed to strike a nerve with her.

    But it’s the music video that truly elevates the song. It was shot in the California desert, and Gaga’s physical contortions take on a mesmerizing beauty. Time has tempered our reactions; in hindsight, you have to respect Gaga’s audaciousness — even if “Perfect Illusion” isn’t quite the masterpiece it aspired to be.

    A song about distracting yourself from heartbreak with the finer things in life, Gaga’s best studio performance on Cheek to Cheek is serene, naturalistic, and perhaps not coincidentally, solo. Recording with Tony Bennett connected Gaga to a sense of history, a lineage of great jazz performers, but it made the album less of a musical statement. Imagine a whole album of covers, even original songs, as moving as “Lush Life.”

    A breezy bonus track, “Fashion of His Love” pays tribute to the late Alexander McQueen, and the near-religious experience of wearing his intricate designs. The beefed-up ’80s dance-pop track borrows more than a little of Whitney Houston’s head-in-the-clouds joy — and it even earns its surprise last-chorus key change.

    “Fun Tonight” has less melodic ingenuity than Chromatica’s best, but it’s fascinating for how it reveals the inner conflict Gaga sees when she looks in the mirror. In the chorus, she declares, “I’m not having fun tonight” — toying with the irony of negative emotions on an uplifting composition. In the second verse, she even circles back to the concerns of her debut album, addressing the stans who wish she would recreate the sound of 2008: “You love the paparazzi, love the fame / Even though you know it causes me pain…” What’s disappointing is how the song concludes early, without building to a real bridge or climactic final chorus.

    Like the inverse of Aqua’s tongue-in-cheek “Barbie Girl,” “Plastic Doll” takes off the armor to show a real human with real emotions, who struggles with being objectified by the public’s eye. The themes and synthpop sound are familiar, but it’s comforting to hear Gaga sing so directly about reclaiming her agency — especially after years of wrangling with the expectations put upon her by fame.

    Gaga’s love of old-school, bad-boy masculinity has occasionally seemed at odds with her progressive feminist leanings. So with “John Wayne,” it was a relief to finally hear her verbalize that conflict, over a country-disco boogie worthy of Shania Twain. The Jonas Åkerlund video, too, is among Gaga’s freakiest, featuring exploding cars, neon-country dance sequences, and her playfully devilish expressions. On “Perfect Illusion,” love is tragic, but “John Wayne” at least has a sense of humor about it.

    “Young, wild, American / … I might not be flawless, but you know / I got a diamond heart,” sings Gaga — rebooting her origin story on Joanne’s opening track. Gaga wrote the song while entering her 30s (still a performer at heart), and the Americana rock of “Diamond Heart” is no less a costume than any other sound she has adopted. The only problem is that the deconstructed rock-band arrangement is too stiff — where are the high hats? — and it never feels live enough to truly soar. “Diamond Heart” isn’t quite the mythological “Thunder Road” Gaga intended, but it’s still an exciting, necessary reboot.

    Lady Gaga does nothing by halves — if she’s going to do a “mariachi techno-house record” about the injustices of U.S. immigration law, you’d better believe she’s going all the way. “Americano” is an initially dizzying listen, though there’s a tenderness in the eye of the storm. Said Gaga, “It sounds like a pop record, but when I sing it, I see Édith Piaf in a spotlight with an old microphone.”

    Gaga clearly adores this song, as it closed out every Joanne World Tour set list. “Million Reasons” has that moving chorus, yet it’s too much of a power ballad to work as a true breakup song. Gaga’s raw vocal performance elevates it, though the lyrics and bland arrangement lack the precise, lived-in details of a truly great country song. The video shows off her rebranding as a country singer, clothed in that beautiful Joanne shade of pink.

    “Million Reasons” didn’t fully come to life until her 2017 Super Bowl halftime show, where it was her lone cut from Joanne. As she sang and played piano on an elevated platform, surrounded by fans waving lights and cell phones, her latest reinvention felt complete.

    This may be the most sentimental (and vibrato-dominated) vocal Lady Gaga has ever delivered on a record. Flying solo, she sings each syllable with utter precision, emotional intuition, and richness of texture — the same way a great artist adds layers to a painting. Most famously recorded by Gene Kelly, the song is a reminder that Gaga can effortlessly hang with the greats — of any generation.

    Immediately after ARTPOP’s “Mary Jane Holland,” a guilt-free celebration of pot, comes this whiskey-fueled piano ballad about a codependent, borderline-toxic relationship. “I’ll hate myself until I die,” drawls Gaga — haunted by her demons, trapped by her addictions. But whenever she played “Dope” live, it became a celebration between every other fucked-up misfit in the room.

    The first solo Lady Gaga song in years that felt unforced, totally unpretentious — and fun. Over Josh Homme’s offbeat slide guitars and Mark Ronson’s Stax horn arrangements, Gaga sounds like she’s having the time of her life — the perfect embodiment of her raucous, back-to-basics 2016 Dive Bar Tour.

    How many pop songs open with an honest-to-God Judas Priest guitar riff? “Electric Chapel” throbs like neon synthwave with a heavy-metal edge, lighting the way to Gaga’s cathedral — her Born This Way Ball. If you’re still confused about the album’s infamous bionic motorbike cover, “Electric Chapel” should make you a believer.

    “Babylon” ends Chromatica on a weird curveball of TR-909 house snares, cheesy saxophone, and a gospel choir — and it’s one of the album’s less bombastic tracks! It’s driven by a bizarre lyrical metaphor that only Lady Gaga could come up with: what if the Old Testament God’s destruction of the Tower of Babel created modern celebrity gossip culture?? “Babylon” is like a puzzle where the pieces don’t quite fit, yet Gaga’s campy delivery makes total sense: “Serve it, ancient-city style — that’s gossip!” It’s not quite the wonderland she’s searching for on “Alice,” but it’ll do.

    The closest thing Chromatica has to a traditional ballad — and the Lady Gaga song that’s most fit for crying on a dance floor. Most of the album’s 4/4 kick drums pulse with a sense of liberation — these ones pound with urgency. Over mournful minor-key chords (as showcased on the album’s bonus piano demo), Gaga’s voice uplifts the listener, even as she prays for her own salvation: “Lift me up, just a small nudge / And I’ll be flying like a thousand doves.” We confront our despair alone, but we conquer it together.

    The atonal, warbling vocal chop that opens this Top Gun sequel’s theme is an odd misdirect — “Hold My Hand” is a pure power ballad. Gaga takes lyrics that consist entirely of potential clichés and, through sheer vocal power and a colossal snare drum, lifts them into the stratosphere. Completely earnest in composition and production, this is one of her only pop songs with zero subversive elements. That has never been her modus operandi, which seemingly makes “Hold My Hand” an outlier in Gaga’s catalogue.

    In this electropop opera, Gaga assumes the role of Mary Magdalene — “the ultimate rock star’s girlfriend” — as she forgives the world for taking her beloved Jesus away from her. “I won’t crucify the things you do … / When you’re gone I’ll still be Bloody Mary,” sings Gaga, casting Mary as a graceful, eternal icon of feminine suffering. “Bloody Mary” could be sacrilegious, but like in The Last Temptation of Christ, humanizing icons only makes them more relatable. Oh, and it helps that the track’s ruthlessly danceable, too.

    The Fame Monster ends by shifting from dance-pop to this funky, soulful stomper, produced by Teddy Riley of Blackstreet fame. On the previous seven songs, Gaga confronts her fears, but by “Teeth,” she’s become ferocious in life and the bedroom: “Take a bite of my bad girl meat / Show me your teeth!” As she told MTV in 2009, “‘Show me your teeth’ means ‘tell me the truth,’ and I think that for a long time in my life that I replaced sex with the truth… You hide in the physicality of a relationship as opposed to really getting to know somebody.”

    A more defiant coda to “Plastic Doll,” “Sour Candy” has a simple message — take me as I am. Blackpink’s four members get as much airtime as Gaga herself, their voices — sweet yet full of attitude — a perfect contrast to Gaga’s earthy tone. The song’s slinky modern house beat is destined to soundtrack catwalks for years to come.

    In one minute, Chromatica’s orchestral intro evokes a multitude of images and emotions — windswept landscapes, the beauty of human accomplishment, the feeling of time ticking away… It’s a deeply romantic piece that feels like it was lifted from a film score or modern classical suite. But instead, as the first track on Gaga’s sixth solo album, “Chromatica I” declares her ambitions: this isn’t just any 2020 take on nostalgic dance-pop — it’s a work for the ages. Co-composed with Morgan Kibby, it’s as much of a Lady Gaga song as any vocal track.

    A tribute to Marilyn Monroe and other women who influenced politicians in the bedroom, peaking with Gaga’s incredible spoken bridge: “Put your hands on me / John F. Kennedy / I’ll make you squeal baby / As long as you pay me.” “Government Hooker” would be the perfect soundtrack for a military-industrial-themed fashion show on Mars, with buzz-saw synthesizers as sharp as Gaga’s prosthetic cheekbones.

    “Scheiße” has a faux-German hook that’s as nonsensical as it is catchy, but the song’s message is crystal clear: “If you’re a strong female / You don’t need permission.” It’s impossible to hear this and not want to strut down a catwalk in oversize platform heels.

    “Til It Happens to You” isn’t the usual fare for Lady Gaga or Diane Warren, the song’s co-writer, and author of countless love ballads. Written for The Hunting Ground, a documentary that addresses the climate of sexual assault on college campuses, Gaga’s recording pulls no punches. “Til it happens to you / You won’t know how it feels,” she sings, calling upon the full weight of her vocal abilities. Gaga delivered a heartbreaking performance at the 2016 Academy Awards, accompanied onstage by over 50 sexual-assault survivors. “Til It Happens to You” didn’t win Best Original Song, but it left a lasting impression, a year before the #MeToo movement took off.

    Another Gaga solo performance recorded live from Lincoln Center, she delivers this Pal Joey show tune with breathtaking, intimate understatement. At her best, Gaga has all the wit, humor, and precise emotional control of the great jazz vocalists. She’s never been so charming while doing so little — the audience hangs on every word.

    ARTPOP, as misunderstood now as it was upon its release, is a work of science fiction. If Born This Way was about learning to love yourself, ARTPOP imagined the Gaga-ified utopia we could live in. “Venus” opens by quoting Sun Ra, the iconic jazz Afrofuturist, then blasts off through the solar system in search of sexual liberation: “Uranus / Don’t you know my ass is famous?” Why can’t all pop be this unapologetically freaky?

    In the 2017 documentary Gaga: Five Foot Two, Gaga struggles to perform at a high level while managing chronic pain. She witnesses her dear friend Sonja Durham’s battle with cancer; and she prioritizes her career over love, ending her engagement with actor Taylor Kinney. “The Cure,” at first, may sound like any other top-40 pop song, but it deals with the same emotional burdens as the film. Gaga’s never sounded this vulnerable in a pop context: “Rub your feet, your hands, your legs / Let me take care of it, babe / Close your eyes, I’ll sing your favorite song.” It’s simple, familiar, but it says everything.

    Chic were never known for having diva-level singers — their vocal lines were essentially vehicles for the crisp grooves of Nile Rodgers and his band. But surprisingly, Gaga doesn’t overpower this blockbuster remake of Chic’s classic 1978 single. She fits right in, even elevating the song to new heights in all the right moments. Their version first premiered in 2015, soundtracking Tom Ford’s SS16 womenswear collection. It took three years for the full recording to get an official release, but so what? It’s every bit as timeless as the original.

    Written and originally demoed by Father John Misty, “Come to Mama” feels like a lost ’60s classic — like Magical Mystery Tour via Phil Spector’s Christmas album. Mother Monster calls for peace with a firm but gentle hand — she’s no longer the messianic figure of eras past. It’s a celebration of life, and a warning of what we’d lose without love.

    Short for “Girl Under You,” “G.U.Y.” is a power-bottom anthem fueled by Zedd’s vicious, stuttering groove. Like Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill,” Gaga dreams of reversing the roles in her relationship: “I don’t need to be on top to know I’m worth it / ‘Cause I’m strong enough to know the truth!” Gaga only made two music videos for ARTPOP, but the seven-minute “G.U.Y.” short film was her most visually ambitious to date — cramming in snippets of “ARTPOP,” “Venus,” and “MANiCURE” as well. “G.U.Y.” went underappreciated at the time, but revisit it, and you’ll find it’s positively overflowing with joie de vivre.

    Lady Gaga never met her aunt Joanne Germanotta, who was an artist and a painter, but they’ve long shared a spiritual connection. “Every part of my aching heart / Needs you more than the angels do,” drawls Gaga, like Stevie Nicks over fingerpicked guitars — old sounds that are new to her. It’s as if we’re eavesdropping on an intimate family conversation (and in a scene from Gaga: Five Foot Two where she plays the song for her grandmother, we literally do). But the song’s piano version, recorded earlier in 2018, is sparser and even more haunting. Gaga croons gently, letting the lyric speak for itself. The song ends with her acknowledging her middle name — “Call me Joanne … / XO, Joanne,” resolving the Joanne era on a peaceful note.

    “I killed my former and / Left her in a trunk on highway ten,” sings Gaga, shedding Born This Way’s skin and, seemingly, much of her casual fan base. Her most sonically aggressive opening track, “Aura” blends mariachi guitars with growling, inhuman synths. But the chorus soars, seemingly foreshadowing the album to come: “Do you wanna see me naked, lover? … / Do you wanna see the girl behind the aura?”

    One of Gaga’s most spiritual songs, a dreamy ode to self-love and discovery that floats on sparkling amber synths. The subject matter isn’t too far removed from “Just Dance,” really, but “So Happy I Could Die” stands on its own, feeling more like a shared moment with a friend in a club at midnight.

    It’s hard to say if this should have been a far bigger hit, or if it shouldn’t exist at all. A relentlessly catchy R&B–synth-pop banger, “Do What U Want” — like Madonna’s “Human Nature” — is a statement of artistic defiance through sexual freedom: “You can’t stop my voice, ‘cause / You don’t own my life, but / Do what you want with my body.” It should have been a powerful message … but how do we reconcile that with R. Kelly’s involvement? In 2013, we should have known enough about his transgressions. By 2018, there was no excuse.

    It’s uncomfortable yet undeniable that Gaga and Kelly had musical chemistry. On “Do Want U Want,” he plays his usual seductive, lecherous persona — but actually tones it down a little. The two courted attention with racy performances on SNL and at the AMAs, and a video directed by Gaga’s frequent collaborator Terry Richardson — another alleged sexual abuser — was filmed, then canceled, never to be released. A 2014 remix swapped out R. Kelly for Christina Aguilera, but wasn’t nearly as compelling. For many, “Do What U Want” symbolized everything that went wrong with the ARTPOP campaign: thrilling highs next to baffling lows. Even watching from afar, there was a cognitive dissonance to the period that felt inexplicable until years later.

    It took until early 2019, after the release of Lifetime’s Surviving R. Kelly docuseries, for Gaga to address and apologize for the song, explaining regretfully, “My intention was to create something extremely defiant and provocative because I was angry and still hadn’t processed the trauma that had occurred in my own life.” She soon had the song removed from digital, streaming, and subsequent physical editions of ARTPOP. Should future generations seek out the original recording, they’ll find a song that’s an electrifying listen, but a cautionary tale, difficult to hear removed from its troubling context. There’s nothing else like “Do What U Want” in Gaga’s discography, and there never will be.

    The namesake for Gaga’s Vegas residency, “Enigma” is extra euphoric even by Chromatica’s standards, but with a hi-hat driven, funkier feel than her usual fare. Its enormous hook encourages you to dream big: “We could be anything you want… / We could break all of our stigma / I’ll, I’ll be your enigma!” It’s the perfect summation of how Lady Gaga sees her role in the public eye: on one hand an eternal shape-shifter à la David Bowie, on the other, a force for radical positivity.

    BloodPop and Madeon’s electropop track shifts the album into a slower gear, depicting the inside of Gaga’s brain as if it’s a sci-fi construct, where neurons fire and spark chain reactions beyond her control. “My biggest enemy is me, pop a 911,” goes the chorus, alluding to both the emergency phone number, and an antipsychotic she takes that once literally saved her life. Gaga depicts popping a pill as a mostly positive, necessary act — but every day remains a struggle. She sings most of the song with a robotic affect, but the pre-chorus is higher, more vulnerable: “Can’t see me cry ever again…” It’s every artist’s struggle: must she feel too much, or too little? The music video, by The Cell director Tarsem Singh, is her freakiest since ARTPOP — depicting Gaga in a surreal tableaux of The Holy Mountain-like imagery.

    Joanne’s most cinematic song plays out like an intimate Western family drama. Gaga’s voice has never sounded smokier as she sings of her innate weakness for volatile men — and sees her struggles reflected in her sister’s and father’s relationships. If loving someone means accepting their flaws, then that makes her a sinner, too: “Hear my sinner’s prayer / I am what I am / And I don’t wanna break the heart of any other man but you …” “Sinner’s Prayer” shares surprising thematic similarities with Beyoncé’s “Daddy Lessons,” from her LEMONADE album of the same year. In both songs, each woman acknowledges their conflicted familial heritage, and finds redemption through the power of country music, the tradition at the heart of nearly all American popular song.

    Lady Gaga and Florence Welch are two of modern pop’s most famous belters — so no one expected their first collaboration to be a duet so adorable it could’ve been performed by two Muppets. Over ’70s soul piano borrowed from “Bennie and the Jets,” Gaga and Welch gently exchange lines and lift each other up. It’s no motivational anthem, just a simple ode to women supporting women. “Hey Girl” is an astonishing record, a gift of pure emotional generosity.

    Lady Gaga’s A Star Is Born Oscar campaign began with the film’s grand finale, a true tearjerker from the Whitney Houston playbook. Gaga embodies the five stages of grief with her whole voice and body — whether she’s cooing softly in her lower register or belting her heart out. The film version of “I’ll Never Love Again” cuts away from Ally’s climactic performance to a flashback of Jackson nervously singing the song to her for the first time. It’s an act of pure emotional manipulation on Bradley Cooper’s part as director, but it perfectly encapsulates the characters’ relationship: Jackson sees Ally’s artistic potential, but it’s she who brings it to life. “I’ll Never Love Again” sounded like nothing on the 2018 charts, but that’s why it was so powerful. It showed that Gaga could’ve been a star in any era — on a record or the silver screen.

    With producer RedOne, Lady Gaga engineered a sound that would define the next five years of pop: American R&B melodies, Europop synthesizers, four-on-the-floor dance rhythms, and just a tinge of pop-punk and emo’s brattiness. In 2008, “Just Dance” seemed wildly ambitious, the first shot — and Billboard No. 1 — fired by a star in the making. A decade later, it almost sounds … humble?

    Gaga hides her weirdness in plain sight here. You can hear her theater-trained vibrato in the verses, then there’s the “half psychotic, sick hypnotic” bridge, a curveball no other pop singer would’ve attempted. What few remember is Colby O’Donis’s guest verse, a series of horny-in-the-club clichés that only exists to provide a male point of view, making it more palatable for commercial radio. It shows how faceless “Just Dance” could have been if Gaga weren’t such a compelling narrator.

    No pop star has made music their religion quite like Gaga does here. She enlists her friend and mentor (a very game Elton John) to lay out her spiritual worldview. “When I was young, I prayed for lightning / … Yeah, I stared / While my eyes filled up with tears / But there was nothing there.” Nothing — until she heard a sine wave (the purest form of sound) from above. Connected to that universal life force, she’s no longer afraid or unloved. “Sine From Above” is as grand a track as Gaga has ever recorded — with plucked orchestral verses and a melodic drop that hearkens back to ’90s rave, trance, and Eurodance. It all gives way to a frenetic drum-and-bass breakdown that you wish went twice as long — signifying a big bang, an explosion of energy and light, and all the untapped musical potential of Gaga’s bright future.

    Better than any other songwriter, Cole Porter articulated love as a magnetic force that pulls two people together — the flirtations between them a deft tango. Tony Bennett recorded this song as a solo devotional in 1993, but on his final album, Gaga’s presence completes the pairing. Over a mid-tempo arrangement that brings out the best in each singer, they exchange the perfect lyrics to sum up their partnership: “When fortune cries ‘Nay, nay’ to me / And people declare ‘You’re through’ / Whenever the blues becomes my only song / I concentrate on you!” The music video shows another kind of love — the ability to see someone at their fullest — when an aging Bennett sketches a pencil portrait of Gaga that brings her to tears. Even more than “The Lady Is a Tramp,” “I Concentrate on You” is Gaga and Bennett’s definitive duet. Through Porter’s timeless words, Bennett defying mortality, and Gaga an even better singer than in 2013, the song makes the connection between the three feel like the miracle it is.

    “Alejandro” paired one of Gaga’s catchiest pop songs with her darkest visuals. Gaga rejects a string of Latin suitors — Alejandro, Fernando, Roberto — via melodies that evoke ABBA and Madonna, over a thumping beat, like Ace of Base gone EDM. Rejection has rarely sounded so sweet. The Steven Klein–directed video, however, combines German expressionist cinema with religious and militaristic imagery. Gaga begins by mourning her dead lover, but the narrative gets increasingly inscrutable from there. It was almost too provocative — few could make sense of it all. But what is clear is this: Steven Klein’s camera adores the male body, spotlighting the dancers as much as Gaga herself. The “Alejandro” video is a tribute to queer masculinity, and the ability of marginalized people and artists to thrive under oppression.

    “Just Dance” got Lady Gaga onto the charts, but “Poker Face” is where her iconography truly begins. The video opens like a horror film, as Gaga emerges from a pool in a bedazzled alien mask, drawing us into her topsy-turvy sonic world. “Poker Face” topped the Billboard charts not just because it was a strange, minor-key earworm, but because Lady Gaga was a puzzle we couldn’t figure out. Who was the “real” woman behind the poker face? We expect pop to be glittery surfaces, but here was Gaga telling us love, sex, and fame are all a performance. Live, she’d reinvent the song as a solo piano-cabaret piece, often in unglamorous radio promo settings — never playing it the same way twice. Gaga refused to be pigeonholed as an artist, or objectified as a woman in pop. With “Poker Face,” she wielded her sexuality like a weapon — not simply to please her audience, but to leave us wanting more.

    “Stupid Love” is exactly what many fans have wanted (and haven’t gotten) from Lady Gaga since 2013’s ARTPOP. On first listen — which, for many, was weeks ahead of schedule thanks to a pesky leak — her sixth album’s lead single sounds like she has picked up right where she left off. But the Gaga of 2020 has nothing left to prove. Her mission is simply to uplift. BloodPop and Tchami’s production hits hard with its churning synths and 4/4 kicks, but Gaga’s vocals reach upward and outward into gospel-inflected, Whitney Houston territory. “Freak out, freak out, freak out,” she sings, building to a chorus in which each titular line ends with an exclamation point. “Stupid Love” sees Gaga back in love with the thrilling potential of the three-minute pop song: “I don’t need a reason / Not sorry, I want your stupid love!” It’s a classic disco-pop theme: Don’t think. Feel! Give in to the healing power of music. It’s no coincidence that this is her first collaboration with pop super-producer Max Martin, who leaves his mark on the song’s crisp, clear vocal melodies.

    Gaga hasn’t been part of pop’s sonic vanguard since 2013, and “Stupid Love” on its own hasn’t done much to change that perception. Even the video, while flamboyant, aims more for fun than ambition. But that’s not a bad thing. “Stupid Love” is a reawakening. A rebirth in technicolor. Gaga inverts her most iconic song title, “Bad Romance.” This time as joy.

    “Replay” pairs a more traditional disco groove with stark lyrics: “The monster inside you is torturing me / The scars on my mind are on replay, r-replay.” Produced by Burns, the track’s “Disco Inferno”-style octave bass builds to a chaotic swirl of voices and strings in Gaga’s mind. It’s the closest thing Chromatica has to ARTPOP’s manic highs, where the song offers no solace — the only way out is to hit next.

    The Lady Gaga of The Fame seemed invincible; but a year later, on The Fame Monster, she lay her deepest fears bare. “He ate my heart and then he ate my brain,” sings Gaga in the bridge, unsure if she’s in love, or lost all control. Backed by ’80s toms and beautiful, melancholy synth chords, “Monster” is among the best pop songs ever written about losing your innocence — how sex and intimacy can feel like you’re being eaten alive.

    In a much-retold story, Bradley Cooper watched Gaga perform “La Vie en Rose” at a cancer benefit in 2016, then cast her in A Star Is Born the next night. The film restages that moment for the cameras, as Jackson wanders into a drag bar where Ally happens to be singing. Gaga is magical, channeling three women at once: Ally, herself, and Édith Piaf. Gaga’s voice is deeper, more muscular than Piaf’s, but every bit as masterful in her delivery, building to an astonishingly passionate climax. “La Vie en Rose” — “life in rosy hues” — has always been more than a mere love song. It’s a tribute to the transformative power of art itself. It shouldn’t be possible to reinvent such an iconic standard, but Gaga’s rendition in A Star Is Born adds yet another layer, depicting how an artist’s drab, uninspired daily life can blossom into truly moving art.

    Over a ’90s-inspired, yet timeless house strut, Gaga announces her presence: “I walk the downtown, hear my sound / No one knows me yet, not right now / But I am bound to set this feeling in motion.” She’s often revisited the self-discovery and trauma of her New York origin story in song, but it’s only now, over a decade later, that she can truly imbue her younger self with the strength she has now. In a chorus that no one else on the planet could deliver better, Gaga’s voice soars: “I’m not nothing without a steady hand… / I’m a free woman!” After the struggles of the ARTPOP period and the tentativeness of Joanne, it’s an immense relief to hear Lady Gaga sing with pure joy, the weight of the world no longer on her shoulders.

    By 2011, we’d gotten used to Gaga pushing the envelope, but it’s still incredible that a song this weird was a hit: “Judas” is a work of camp, melodrama, opera, pop, dance, mythology, religion, morality, and slamming industrial beats all in one. Gaga retells the story of Judas Iscariot through the eyes of a Mary Magdalene torn between Jesus and Judas, love and temptation, aggressive verses and dazzling melodic choruses. The song’s video, which depicted Jesus and the 12 apostles as a high-fashion biker gang, was controversial upon release — but it wasn’t sacrilegious; rather, it honored the concept of religious art. Myths exist to be retold and reinvented, and by Born This Way, Lady Gaga absolutely commanded the power to do so.

    On an album filled with messages of self-love and empowerment, the penultimate track found Gaga singing her first unconditional love song — a bluesy, country-rock tribute to her ex-boyfriend Lüc Carl. “There’s only three men that I’ma serve my whole life / It’s my daddy, and Nebraska and Jesus Christ” — the song’s lovestruck lyrics went a long way to humanizing Gaga. But that didn’t mean ditching the costumes: The video sees her traipsing through middle-America barns and cornfields; playing a mermaid; and assuming her drag persona Jo Calderone, which is how she opened the 2011 VMAs.

    And yet, the song does have one flaw: Mutt Lange’s production. His drum track, built from an unnecessary “We Will Rock You” sample, is overly stiff and mechanical — everything that Gaga’s voice isn’t. Still, when she first premiered “Yoü and I” live in 2010, she delivered one of her rawest performances ever. Playing the piano with her band, she made the song come alive — it swung like ’70s rock and roll. Watch the video above, and you’ll never hear “Yoü and I” the same way again.

    Before 2020, Lady Gaga had recorded countless dance-pop tracks, but she’d never ventured into house music, the subgenre that emerged in the black, queer Chicago scene after the heyday of disco. Her voice used to wrestle with her instrumentals, each pushing the other to an extreme. Now, her voice still soars, but on “Alice” we hear her give into the music, subsuming herself to the hypnotic beauty of a shuffling house beat. She uses her lyrics to question, not to preach. She’s not even the protagonist of this song’s story: “My name isn’t Alice / But I’ll keep looking, I’ll keep looking for Wonderland… / Could you pull me out of this alive?” Chromatica isn’t paradise; Gaga’s described its world as “not dystopian, and it’s not utopian.” Its euphoric melodies, crafted alongside her lead collaborator BloodPop are often tinged with sadness and minor chords. But “Alice” was the perfect catalyst for the 34-year-old Lady Gaga, the eternal wanderer, to rediscover herself through the dance-pop she’d steered clear of for so long.

    ARTPOP was ultimately about finding grace and inspiration in chaos; embracing the 24/7 mania that comes with being a household-name pop star. “Gypsy” sounds like a tour bus barreling down a highway at breakneck speed, knowing the thrill can’t last forever. In hindsight, it was the last gasp of the first half of Gaga’s career, when the costumes were wild, EDM ruled pop, and our cultural optimism seemed boundless. Ultimately, the era’s excesses took a toll on Gaga’s mind, body, and the perception of her public persona … but “Gypsy” makes it feel like it was all worth it.

    Gaga’s most explicit song about identity, “Hair” reimagines her teenage years as a kind of West Side Story musical battlefield. She struggles with her parents’ and society’s expectations, but finds liberation in the one thing that’s hers — her hair. The song is built from elements that could come off as ’80s kitsch — synth-metal riffs, broad Springsteen inflections, Clarence Clemons’s saxophone — but Gaga’s self-belief is so powerful that not one second of “Hair” feels cliché. The Fame and The Fame Monster built her an audience, but with Born This Way, Gaga chose to recast pop as a safe space for vulnerable, misfit, queer kids to find their individuality and reinvent the world in their image. Born This Way was a coming-of-age album for her fans, and “Hair” was its heart and soul.

    Originally a demo written for Britney Spears, “Telephone” takes a simple premise and elevates it to high pop art: Don’t call me in the club; I’m out dancing with Beyoncé! “Telephone” is the embodiment of the pop star’s imperial phase, when they can redefine the Zeitgeist through seemingly effortless force of will. Over harps and buzz-saw synths produced by R&B legend Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, Gaga and Beyoncé cross paths at the perfect time — one new star on the rise, one familiar star consolidating her iconic status.

    The song is inseparable from its Jonas Åkerlund–directed video, a nine-and-a-half minute “Paparazzi” sequel that riffs on revenge thrillers and pop-music tropes alike. From a women’s prison to the Pussy Wagon to poisoning an entire diner, Gaga and Beyoncé command the camera, serving look after look after look. “Telephone” is Gaga’s ultimate feminist statement: She does things her way, with no regard for the male gaze or the music industry’s gatekeepers. “Telephone” didn’t just elevate Gaga as a pop star — it made her a new American icon.

    Grinding synths morph into a stadium-size riff as Gaga’s moans give way to a morbid introduction: “Silicone, saline, poison / Inject me baby / I’m a free bitch.” “Dance in the Dark” is about a woman who can only have sex with the lights off — who finds liberation, her will to live, in the darkness. The song’s spoken-word bridge evokes Madonna’s “Vogue,” but Gaga speaks to the dead, summoning her icons as ghosts that haunt our memories: Marilyn Monroe, Sylvia Plath, Judy Garland, JonBenét Ramsey, Liberace, Jesus, Stanley Kubrick, and Princess Diana. The Fame Monster track sits on the razor’s edge between glamour, tragedy, and immortality. At the 2010 Brit Awards, Gaga dedicated “Dance in the Dark” to the recently departed Alexander McQueen, in a performance that was anything but conventional. It’s criminal that this was never a true single, but maybe it was always destined to be a cult favorite.

    Born This Way opens with a pilgrimage to New York City’s Lower East Side, the site of Stefani Germanotta’s rebirth as Lady Gaga. “Marry the Night” begins as a melancholy hymn that accelerates into an electro-rock opera, as Gaga romanticizes her days as a struggling artist, determined to succeed at any cost. Gaga sings of despair and glory, love and loss, until you no longer know which is which, till the song ends on synth chords that ascend like a neon-lit stairway to heaven.

    “Marry the Night” went on to close the Born This Way era with one of Gaga’s most personal videos, a 14-minute epic about “one of the worst days of [her] life” — the day Def Jam dropped her from her first record deal. Gaga’s visions of couture hospital gowns, ballet, and her rebirth as a fire goddess bear no resemblance to the art she was making in 2007, but that was the point — there was no looking back.

    The second single from Chromatica, “Rain on Me” articulated Gaga’s new ethos: positivity can be more healing than fighting the source of your pain. Pairing the two biggest Italian-American pop stars of today, “Rain on Me” allows both Gaga and Ariana Grande to be completely themselves. Gaga’s powerful delivery propels the track forward, but in the second verse, the production contracts to suit Ariana’s gentle coo. Among all its twists and turns, compressing the entire arc of a seven-minute classic house track into half that time, “Rain on Me” could be the most emotionally generous song Lady Gaga’s ever written. It demands nothing of the listener — it just gives and radiates love. The video, directed by Robert Rodriguez, has both women dancing through a sci-fi downpour of water and knives — not ignoring their pain, but thriving, free of inner conflict. Topping the Billboard Hot 100 for one week in June, “Rain on Me” — along with Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia — felt like one of the few sources of pure joy that we had during the darkest months of 2020. It’s impossible to listen to it without recalling that time; to acknowledge the losses we endured, and all the ways in which we’ve grown and healed since.

    As ARTPOP’s lead single and closing track, “Applause” caps the first half of Lady Gaga’s career with a circular statement: “Pop culture was in art, now art’s in pop culture, in me!” Driven by endless variations on six looping chords, “Applause” is Gaga’s grandest moment of meta-commentary. In 2013, it seemed of a piece with the era’s EDM-pop trends, but in hindsight, this is still the most aggressively theatrical single she has ever released. Her androgynous, Bowie-esque verses. That unforgettable accelerating drum fill. The uniquely offbeat chorus. And the bridge. The highest note she’s hit on record. These were all things we’d never heard from Gaga before — or since.

    The music video, directed by fashion photographers Inez & Vinoodh, is a tribute to the lifesaving joy of creative expression — packed with absurd, laugh-out-loud visual gags and artistic references. Somehow, Gaga’s live performances were even wilder: She opened the 2013 VMAs by singing “Applause” in five different costumes (each representing one of her eras) and pulled off a Wizard of Oz tribute on, of all places, Good Morning America. Later on the show, Gaga said, “All of these outfits and all of these wigs that I’ve been changing in over the years … This is my way of getting to Oz. To have all my dreams come true … Dorothy was able to transform in order to survive.” Just five years after her debut, Gaga cemented her legacy as a pop icon, and “Applause” was a large reason why.

    “Speechless” had nothing to do with the Warhol-inspired Lady Gaga of The Fame, but one year later, its piano-bar confessions fit right in with the dark electropop of The Fame Monster. Written as a plea to her father, who was refusing to undergo open-heart surgery for a life-threatening condition, “Speechless” is one of pop’s great Oedipal-complex ballads. For the first time, she’s seeing her beloved, troubled parent as an equal, addressing him with the heartbroken candor of a lover. “I’ll never write a song / Won’t even sing along / I’ll never love again,” sings Gaga, so devastated that she could throw it all away. Behind every great pop song is a real well of emotion, and “Speechless” lays it all bare.

    A Star Is Born’s entire narrative plays out in “Shallow,” a duet between a man who longs for change and the woman who ultimately embraces it when he cannot. In the verses, Bradley Cooper and Gaga’s lyrics and vocal lines are mirrored — two world-weary cynics serenading each other. But with the chorus, the song turns from country to power ballad as Gaga leaps into her higher register: “I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in / I’ll never meet the ground!” Initially, she’s softer, hesitant until they harmonize — their fates entwined. But then, Gaga summons her inner strength to unleash that iconic “almighty wail,” surrendering to her emotions once and for all. It’s no wonder “Shallow” struck a chord. Even from just the trailer. The song bottles the heart-pounding feeling of Ally stepping onto Jackson Maine’s stage for the first time, her life about to change forever. At the 2019 Oscars, Cooper and Gaga finally performed the song as themselves, bringing the melodrama of the silver screen into real life and securing a win for “Shallow” that night. Whether it’s Judy Garland and James Mason, Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson, or Cooper and Gaga, A Star Is Born’s myths of ambition and tragedy still resonate in a popular culture enamored with fame. But in the years since, “Shallow” hasn’t just transcended the film; it has become one of the few songs of any genre to attain the status of modern-day standard. On Spotify, it’s by far Gaga’s most streamed song — with more than 1.8 billion plays.

    Unlike any other track on Gaga’s debut, “Paparazzi” depicts fame not as a hedonistic playground, but an erotic thriller turned horror film. Gaga’s lyrics weave together love, voyeurism, and stalkerish obsession, as she forces her subject into the role she wants them to play. Rob Fusari’s production channels the bouncy, percussive rhythms of Timbaland, but strips away his excesses, while dissonant verses give way to a major-key chorus that’s so pretty it’s unsettling, unreal: “Baby you’ll be famous / Chase you down until you love me.” On the radio in 2009, it sounded alluring and dangerous — there was nothing else like it.

    In the seven-minute music video, released in June 2009, Gaga plays a fallen star who murders her boyfriend to reach an even higher level of infamy. Directed by Jonas Åkerlund, it felt like the first pop video in years that aspired to art-cinema status — with shots invoking Vertigo, Metropolis, and the films of Federico Fellini. And with its array of high-fashion looks, including bedazzled wheelchairs and crutches, glam mugshots, and a Minnie Mouse murderess outfit, “Paparazzi” marked the point where everything about Gaga’s performance-art ambitions clicked.

    She soon outdid herself with a fever-pitch, star-making performance at the 2009 VMAs — the same night where Madonna memorialized Michael Jackson, and Kanye interrupted Taylor. The year after Britney Spears’s public breakdown was a strange time to want to become a pop star. But as Gaga hung from the ceiling, dripping with stage blood, she refused to be an object of fame. She’d do it on her own terms, or not at all.

    Lady Gaga first introduced “Born This Way” after accepting the 2010 VMA for Video of the Year while wearing (of all things) her infamous meat dress. In one of the most emotional moments in MTV’s history, she belted the song’s chorus a cappella — moved to tears not by her own personal success but by her message. Gaga didn’t just want to write the greatest, most uplifting LGBTQ+ anthem of all time; she wanted to change the world. The power of “Born This Way” lies in its directness. It pulls no punches. It demands self-respect. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, Gaga believes in you. Her vocals, inspired by Whitney Houston, channel the higher power of gospel music. Yet she sings over a synth-heavy track that growls and crackles with electricity so loudly that you can barely make out the individual elements. “Born This Way” feels like a single collective organism: spiritual, mechanical, alive.

    It led to her freakiest music video to date, which imagined the birth of an alien race — one that “bears no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom.” With amniotic fluids, prosthetic horns, and surreal dance sequences, Gaga pushed the viewer to accept beauty in all forms — especially in transhumanist imagery.

    Perhaps no pop song of the 2010s provoked so much debate — even from sympathetic listeners. There are some questionable word choices (“orient,” “chola”), and beyond the Madonna comparisons, Valentino’s disco classic “I Was Born This Way” predated Gaga by 36 years. But more than a decade later, it’s inarguable that “Born This Way” kicked down doors. Or at least opened the minds of many of the queer youths who needed to hear its message. In a beautiful act of serendipity, “Born This Way” was the Billboard Hot 100 chart’s 1,000th No. 1 single. In the first half of the 2010s, there were many pop songs written with a purpose in mind. “Born This Way” is the one we’ll remember. Time has proven its truth.

    “The Edge of Glory” is a huge, major-key, Springsteen-infused dance anthem — and the rare pop song that dares to stare death in the face. Opening with the sound of a heartbeat, synthesizers pulse and swirl around Gaga, building to an electrified chorus. As her voice climbs higher and higher — “I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge!” — Gaga makes you a believer. The song was inspired by her grandfather’s passing; death comes for us all, but Gaga transcends it by living without fear: “It isn’t hell if everybody knows my name tonight!” Just three years after her debut, she was already thinking about the legacy she’d leave behind. “The Edge of Glory” may channel ’80s pop, but it already feels timeless — it’s one of the most joyful, existential pop songs ever written.

    Compared to her past music videos, “The Edge of Glory” is eerily empty — but no less magical. Clad in Siouxsie-like makeup, Gaga lip-syncs and struts, unchoreographed, across an artificial New York City apartment block, staring directly into the camera with the hunger of a woman on top of the world. There’s nothing to draw your eye away from her. The only other person in the video is Clarence Clemons, the E Street Band’s legendary saxophonist, doing what he does best — vocalizing the sound of pure passion — in one final, career-encompassing solo before his death just days later. You couldn’t imagine a more poetic way to ride off into the sunset.

    Could there be any other choice? Released in October 2009, “Bad Romance” not only defined the end of the 2000s. Its shadow still hangs over pop music today. Despite its title, the song isn’t just about love — or even a toxic relationship. It’s about confronting the darkness that lies both within and outside of everyone. The track is built from the same basic skeleton as “Poker Face,” but every element is at war with itself; hooks, verses, and pre-choruses collide and repeat in different formations. RedOne’s signature sound becomes nightmarish: His four-on-the-floor drums are explosive. His synths ice-cold. The dissonant hoover synths seethe like Bernard Herrmann strings — echoing the lyrics’ references to Hitchcock’s Psycho, Vertigo, and Rear Window. Gaga stamps her name on the “Gaga, ooh-la-la” hook — which is both nonsensical and totally coherent. A vocalization of pure mania. Over one of the most powerful bridges in pop history, tension builds as Gaga’s vocals cascade around you. “I don’t wanna be friends,” she begs over and over until her voice leaps up an octave, quavering with vibrato, and the music drops out — “Want your bad romance!” It’s all or nothing.

    Then there’s the video (directed by Francis Lawrence, who’d later helm The Hunger Games sequels), which takes place in a white room reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey’s bedroom — the stage where all life plays out. The clip begins with an electrified snippet of a Bach fugue until Gaga and her dancers awaken. She’s kidnapped, drugged, and forced to perform for Russian gangsters — a metaphor for how the music industry commodifies artists. Gaga’s movements and outfits are as much body horror as high fashion — obscuring her face as she dances, clawing at the air. In what could be the definitive image of Gaga’s career, we see brief glimpses of her face in extreme close-up looking impossibly glamorous but with fewer adornments than we’d ever seen on her at the time. Like a religious icon or a silent-film star, she weeps openly — acknowledging the song’s emotional turmoil. The message: Without true vulnerability, there can be no art, no love, no expression — only fear and the inevitability of death. So in the end, she burns her male captor alive. She’ll never be beholden to anyone again.

    “Bad Romance,” in song and in video, is boundless. It draws no distinctions between classical music, high fashion, avant-garde cinema, dance, or pop. In five months, it became YouTube’s most viewed video at the time; its sheer strangeness only made it more compelling to a mass audience. Lady Gaga began as a fame-hungry, Warholian persona, but “Bad Romance” completed her transformation into a truly fearless, all-encompassing artist. It was the biggest risk (and reward) of her career to date. The Fame Monster is still Gaga’s ultimate statement: There’s nothing to be afraid of — except everything.

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    Kristen S. Hé

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  • The Bloody, Bawdy History of Henry VIII Onscreen

    The Bloody, Bawdy History of Henry VIII Onscreen

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    Photo: Roadside Attractions/Everett Collection

    For someone who sat on the English throne for almost 40 years, Henry VIII is far less famous for being a king than for being a serial husband, serial cheater, and, shall we say, serial killer by proxy. Pop culture is less interested in how he reigned than how he ran through six wives in the process, and this has been true since film’s silent era. In other words, when the cameras started rolling, so did the heads.

    Even prior to that, popular fiction about the Tudor court allowed otherwise respectable audiences to revel in the salaciousness of “what went on in royal bedrooms by dignifying it as history, therefore instructive,” according to the late British writer Hilary Mantel. The same proved true for Henry’s first wave of cinematic depictions. As time and tolerance progressed, however, Tudor film and TV proved increasingly thematically malleable. It could be a highbrow period piece, a morality play, a sex comedy, or vigorously researched prestige television. Henry began appearing as a supporting character viewed through one of his wives or an adviser.

    In a rather novel narrative shift, the forthcoming drama Firebrand offers Henry’s final wife, Catherine Parr, a chance at playing the protagonist. Given that she lacks the name recognition of Anne Boleyn or Catherine of Aragon, the film’s tagline makes sure to contextualize her within the historical saga: “Henry VIII had six wives. One survived.” (Technically two did, just for the record. This is Anne of Cleves erasure.)

    In Henry and the Tudor court, the political and the sexual coalesce. The stakes of Henry’s reign and the so-called Great Matter — only a legitimate male heir could avert dynastic crisis, and Henry couldn’t get one without divorcing his barren wife — are (Mantel again) “graphically gynaecological.” This history hinges disproportionately on “women, their bodies, their reproductive capacities, their animal nature.” With characters’ exits historically predetermined, dramatic tension takes the form of invisible swords dangling over every scene of Anne Boleyn, Catherine Howard, and Thomas More. The camera lingers on Princess Elizabeth during finales, underscoring the dramatic irony of her coming glorious reign, as opposed to the male heir’s so sought after by her father.

    The character of Henry VIII predictably modernizes with time, evolving from a comic figure who eats with his hands and leers at every passing maiden to a dramatic role that ranges from well intentioned but deeply tormented to borderline sociopathic. Costume designers rely on his iconic silhouette by referencing the Holbein portrait’s enormous puffed sleeves, tight stockings, and bejeweled doublets. These Henrys are driven by lust, jealousy, and gluttony that is never satiated by all that he can (and does) devour.

    And yet, ever since Anne Boleyn made her feature debut in 1920, film history has repeatedly subjected Henry to a very specific fate — to be never more than the second-most-interesting person in the ornately paneled room. She’s refusing to divorce him. She’s making him break with Rome. She’s dying in childbirth. She’s living out her days on a generous settlement after getting an annulment. She’s getting beheaded for committing adultery with a distant cousin. She outlives him. He’s just king.

    Not counting a handful of short films made in the first half of the 1910s, film history’s first proper Henry VIII was neither English nor even an Anglophone. He was a German creation, and the ideal subject for merging the sex films and historical pageants popular with German audiences after the First World War. Fresh off 1919’s similarly historically titillating Madame DuBarry (which French critics, still smarting from said world war, hated on principle), filmmaker Ernst Lubitsch made Anna Boleyn for an exorbitant 8.5 million marks with some 2,000 extras. Emil Jennings plays the prototypical Henry, slugging ale from a stein and doggedly pursuing a reluctant Anna. Although slightly exaggerated as required by the silent format, Jenning’s performance and Lubitsch’s film set the template for cinematic Tudor courts to come: spectacular wedding scenes, a lusty and larger-than-life Henry, and a big execution for a finale.

    Back when we were a proper country, bazillionaires (newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst) would do things like make their age-gap girlfriend (Marion Davies) into a superstar by single-handedly producing her in one of the most expensive silent movies ever made (When Knighthood Was in Flower). Adapted from Charles Major’s 1898 novel, the historical romance follows Henry’s sister Mary Tudor as she falls for dashing guardsman Charles Brandon. Lyn Harding plays Henry as a moon-faced comic brute eager to marry his sister off to the geriatric French king, alternating between Santa Claus–levels of jolly and gesticulatory rage, particularly when calling his sister a “hussy” for showing her bare arm. There’s no denying that Hearst’s dollar went further in that the film is overlong but beautifully framed, wonderfully optimistic about true love, and spectacularly costumed right down to the Frenchmen in tights. Reject modernity (nepo babies), embrace tradition (nepo mistresses).

    Henry VIII joined the Criterion Collection on the back of Hungarian-British filmmaker Alexander Korda, now best known for his work on The Third Man and for incidentally introducing Powell to Pressburger. Opening on the day of Anne Boleyn’s execution, The Private Life of Henry VIII gives most of its wifely screen time to Elsa Lanchester’s Anne of Cleves, who becomes a wise sisterly figure post-divorce despite starting as something of a German caricature. Although he’s absolutely a lecherous glutton belching and bellowing his way through meals and marriages — Anne of Cleves describes the four wives who didn’t make it as (in order) “spiteful, ambitious, stupid, and young” — Charles Laughton’s Henry is somewhat sympathetic, prone to flashes of self-reflection and genuine contrition. It’s not a popular pull in the storied Closet, but then again, it isn’t an Antonioni or Come and See.

    In addition to having been significantly better at running England, Elizabeth I has a more impressive as-portrayed-by roster than her father. Sarah Bernhardt, Bette Davis, Cate Blanchett, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, and Margot Robbie have all played the Virgin Queen post-coronation. She doesn’t fare too poorly as a princess either, taken up by a 23-year-old Jean Simmons in MGM’s Young Bess. Charles Laughton reprises his role as Henry, this time in a supporting context following The Private Life of Henry VIII. He’s ominously vulgar as he bites chunks of meat off the end of his dagger and strokes the necks of his assorted wives, but he’s not totally one-note and surreptitiously revels in Elizabeth’s defiance even while referring to her as “Anne Boleyn’s brat.” Otherwise, he doesn’t stick around, kicking the bucket roughly 30 minutes in. Take it away, Jean.

    Commercially unsuccessful in its day and a minor entry in Disney’s 1950s live-action output in retrospect, The Sword and the Rose is nevertheless a rather charming PG period romance. It plays into all the tropes of Tudor pop history — Catherine of Aragon as a pinched Spanish killjoy and Henry as boorish bon vivant — and costume dramas with Charles Brandon as the handsome knight who sweeps Henry’s sister Mary Tudor off her feet. Standing in the lovers’ way is Brandon’s lower rank, Mary’s betrothal to the French king, and the occasional assassination plot. Although the historical Henry was in his 20s for the actual events, James Robertson Justice’s Henry is the significantly thicker middle-aged ruler who eats with his hands and is easily swayed by flattery and financial gain. Like its predecessor When Knighthood Was in Flower, but unlike any of the real Henry’s marriage plots, true love wins in the end.

    The Tudor drama morphs into a morality play via Sir Thomas More, beheaded by Henry in 1535 for refusing to recognize him as supreme head of the Church of England. The historical More has enjoyed a rather complimentary afterlife, not only as an enduring symbol of personal integrity in the face of tyranny but as the only Catholic saint to have won the Triple Crown of Acting plus a BAFTA courtesy of the late Paul Scofield. Initially conceived by playwright Robert Bolt as a radio play and eventually reworked for stage and then screen, A Man for All Seasons centers on the legal and moral trials of More’s role within the Great Matter. Compared to the usual Tudor fare, the film is a sexless showcase of thespianism, from Robert Shaw’s wildly charismatic but mercurial Henry to Orson Welles’s scowling Cardinal Wolsey. But in terms of bisected endings, it’s right in line with the rest of its genre.

    In light of his personal experience with multiple wives and headline-grabbing marriages, Richard Burton is theoretically the best casting choice possible for Henry VIII. Depicting him as bold, brash, constantly conflicted, and driven half-mad by desire, he’s not bad in practice either. Never mind the filet mignon and Champagne dished out at Universal’s special screenings for Academy members, Burton’s Oscar-nominated Henry gamely accomplishes something few other Henrys on this list do by leaning into the ambiguity of the king’s inner life and leaving it an open question as to whether or not Henry actually believes his own bluster. Genevieve Bujold is an excellent match as an especially fiery Anne Boleyn, never more so than when she’s telling Henry what’s what: “You make love as you eat, with a good deal of noise and no subtlety.” Ouch.

    Morality play, torrid romance, sex comedy — no one can accuse Tudor historical fiction of lacking range. Its bawdy lampooning came in 1971 as a Carry On film, which may mean little to those of us who are not Brits of a certain age. Primarily made during the 1960s and 1970s, the Carry On series took a medium-low budget and parodied a given subject (e.g., Hammer horror, James Bond, Cleopatra, the education system) into the ground. Anne of the Thousand Days provided ample fodder for Carry On Henry, which consists mostly of cinema’s most needlessly drawn-out garlic-breath joke and a relentless barrage of poorly aged double entendres. Rather than rehash the historical wives, the film invents two new ones to face off with Sid James’s chronically horny Henry. Is it good? No. But there are worse visual gags than a “Please close the door after you” sign hanging on an iron maiden.

    The most episodic of the Henry VIII films, the obligingly titled Henry VIII and His Six Wives takes its cues and its Henry from the Emmy-winning BBC miniseries The Six Wives of Henry VIII, released two years earlier. Beneath a series of increasingly geometric haircuts, Australian actor Keith Michell’s Henry is an overgrown man-baby with a healthy plume of chest hair and a topsy-turvy conscience. He reviews all six wives in flashback but isn’t one for even distribution: Catherine Parr gets roughly the same amount of screen time as Anne Boleyn’s fabled sixth finger. The rest of Anne, played by Charlotte Rampling, is almost manic and fiendishly jealous. Although more — the adjective, not the Sir Thomas — is more here, the film suffers for its lack of style and narrative discipline. That its characters also suffer from an endemic lack of heads perhaps goes without saying.

    More than a cameo, but not quite the historical-figure-as-plot-starter à la Napoleon in The Count of Monte Cristo, Henry VIII’s first appearance in the 1977 adaptation of Mark Twain’s The Prince and the Pauper may be his best, cinematographically speaking. On the run from the 16th-century fuzz, the titular pauper flings himself over the palace walls and meets the stately king in one long, sweeping vertical pan from royal feet to flat cap. Charlton Heston (he’ll be back later, albeit on the head-losing side of the Great Matter) plays the mirthful but declining king as a grand old man who won’t let age or illness keep him from smacking Lady Jane’s ass or dropping ice-cold one-liners on his deathbed such as, “I am a king of England. I will look God in the eye.” The rest of the movie is devoted primarily to Oliver Reed fighting everyone within slashing distance, so automatic ten out of ten, no notes.

    The 1988 made-for-television version of A Man for All Seasons has the good sense not to try to outdo its lauded predecessor, sticking instead a straight and faithful adaptation of the stage play. The problem is that in doing so it justifies most of playwright Robert Bolt’s creative decisions in his 1966 screen adaptation, especially his nixing of the play’s fourth-wall-breaking Common Man character. Charlton Heston directs and stars as Thomas More, playing him with a firmness and gravitas that befits the man turned myth. As Henry, English actor Martin Chamberlain throws himself into his one mood- and dick-swinging showdown with More, yelling himself hoarse about his lack of a son, his bitch wife, and so on and so forth. It’s nothing if not an overacting master class and all draped in gold lamé.

    For a film Hilary Mantel couldn’t resist calling “inert and vacuous” in her otherwise unrelated review of a Jane Boleyn biography, there’s certainly a lot of questionable things happening in The Other Boleyn Girl. As the Boleyn girls in question, Scarlett Johansson is completely miscast and Natalie Portman periodically forgets how to act, but the dialogue is so stilted that it wouldn’t matter either way. Meanwhile Eric Bana stomps about Whitehall as a hot but humorless Henry whose character never goes deeper than “womanizer who is mad a lot.” The first time he and Anne have sex is when he rapes her in her chambers, which is not only wildly inaccurate but also a downright baffling and voyeuristic narrative choice. It’s so bad that even its surprisingly hefty supporting cast (Mark Rylance and Kristin Scott Thomas as Lord and Lady Boleyn, plus Eddie Redmayne, Jim Sturgess, and Benedict Cumberbatch) can’t save it. And by the halfway point, you can sense they’ve stopped trying.

    With no hang-ups about accuracy and an ironclad commitment to casting absurdly hot actors as their far uglier historical counterparts, The Tudors gives the Tudors the fleshy, sensational, soapy treatment they deserve. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is the horniest and most intense Henry by a long shot, playing the king as a hot-blooded sex fiend and anti-hero who grows progressively more sociopathic with age. There’s ample room in its four seasons for peasant rebellions, Henry’s debilitating leg injury, jousting matches, and church reform as contact sport amid the pulpy erotic drama. The later seasons lack the punch of the earlier ones, and the show suffers once Natalie Dormer’s pitch-perfect Anne Boleyn and Annabelle Wallis’s Jane Seymour give way to Joss Stone as Anne of Cleves and buckets of questionable old-man makeup. No matter. We’ll always have Peter O’Toole as Pope Paul III, stealing all his scenes while pioneering new pronunciations of putain.

    With the Criterion Collection and the Oscars duly conquered, Henry VIII takes on prestige TV by way of Wolf Hall, the miniseries adapted from Hilary Mantel’s Thomas Cromwell novels. As Henry, Damien Hirst is especially virile if privately conflicted and a sentimental drunk. Vulture’s own TV critic Margaret Lyons felt Hirst’s performance was “less grounded, less textured” compared to his castmates’, but with castmates like these, whose Henry wouldn’t be? A pre-Crown Claire Foy is in fine form as one of the snootier and sharpest Anne Boleyns; Mark Rylance is unmatched as a refreshingly sympathetic Cromwell, his next three moves always brewing just under the surface (and at the edges of those eyebrows). As purist friendly as it gets, Wolf Hall is the opposite of salacious and simply not built for phone-in-hand viewing. Casual Anne Boleyn enjoyers need not apply.

    Poor Catherine of Aragon. Like Iberian ham, she tends to come pre-aged. Prior to The Spanish Princess, she only ever appeared as a shriveled Spanish stick-in-the-mud, destined to be defeated and shunted off to a nunnery so Anne Boleyn can take the role of queen and female lead. Starz’s two-season show, however, supposes that she was not hatched at barren middle age, and opens with her arrival in England to marry Henry’s older brother, Arthur. Aware that whether or not she and Arthur boned will be somewhat relevant later, the show takes a creative and plot-driving approach to the question that feels feminist without feeling forced. Irish actor Ruairi O’Connor plays the young Henry as we very rarely see him — the somewhat coddled spare with a sensitive soul made heir by Arthur’s sudden death. His believable romance with Catherine unfolds in flirtatious swordplay and kisses in corridors primed for fancams. Even knowing how it ends, you kind of can’t help rooting for them …

    By casting the Black actress Jodie Turner-Smith as Anne Boleyn, BBC’s three-part miniseries generated more of an internet firestorm than the show itself was probably worth. The show is, in a word, fine. The costumes and sets are nothing special. It feels anachronistic less for the colorblind casting than for the modernized dialogue and dynamic between Anne and Henry, played by Game of Thrones’s Mark Stanley. In trying to summon something between the fleshiness of The Tudors — Henry goes down on a pregnant Anne — and the prestige feel of Wolf Hall, it manages neither. Far too many lines feel overripe with foreboding, such as Henry telling Anne, “I have no use for an animal that won’t obey me,” after killing his horse. The marital relationship never fully develops, and neither does Henry’s character, even if we do learn that he’s into being choked. If only his neck fetish had ended there, hardee har har.

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    Elle Carroll

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  • The 30 Best Movies on Netflix Right Now

    The 30 Best Movies on Netflix Right Now

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    Hit Man.
    Photo: Courtesy of Netflix

    This post is updated regularly as movies leave and enter Netflix. *New additions are indicated with an asterisk.

    With hundreds of films from around the world on the streaming giant that changed the game, how does one even know what to watch when they fire up their Netflix? Start here! We’ve gone through the many films available on the platform and pared down the selection to 30 must-see titles, including acclaimed dramas, action films, comedies, horror flicks, and even stuff for the whole family, with Netflix Originals peppered in throughout, alongside its licensed films. No algorithm nonsense here: Our picks represent the personal favorites of seasoned movie critics, and they’re updated every week and month to include or remove films that join or depart from the streaming service. This list represents the best of Netflix’s movie offerings, and it starts with a new rotating critic’s pick of the week.

    Year: 2024
    Runtime: 1h 55m
    Director: Richard Linklater

    Future superstar Glen Powell co-wrote and stars in this comedic gem that reminds one that movies can still be made for adults. With echoes of noir and the kind of sexy romantic dramedies that don’t get made much anymore, this is the story of an undercover cop named Gary (Powell) who talks a desperate young woman (Adria Arjona) out of having her husband murdered, setting in motion an unpredictable, funny, riveting series of events. This is one of the best films of 2024.

    Dark Waters.
    Photo: Mary Cybulski/Focus Features

    Year: 2019
    Runtime: 2h 7m
    Director: Todd Haynes

    Dark Waters will make you angry. Mark Ruffalo stars in this true story from director Todd Haynes, known for more formally ambitious stuff but able to nail the old-fashioned outrage needed for this one. Based on a New York Times article, the movie details an investigation into the DuPont corporation’s poisoning of a small town with chemicals in the drinking water. Ruffalo is great, and so are Anne Hathaway, Tim Robbins, and especially the great Bill Camp.

    Devil in a Blue Dress.
    Photo: Sony Pictures Releasing

    Year: 1995
    Runtime: 1h 41m
    Director: Carl Franklin

    Carl Franklin wrote and directed one of the most underrated Denzel Washington performances of all time in this 1995 adaptation of the novel of the same name by Walter Mosley. Washington plays Easy Rawlins, a World War II vet in 1948 who gets drawn into a mystery that classic noir filmmakers would have adored. Charming and riveting, the only crime here is that there wasn’t a whole franchise of films with Washington playing Easy.

    Glengarry Glen Ross.
    Photo: New Line Cinema

    Year: 1992
    Runtime: 1h 40m
    Director: James Foley

    For a long time, it felt like David Mamet’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1984 masterpiece was unfilmable, but Foley, working with the playwright as screenwriter, figured it out, assembling one of the best ensembles of the ‘90s to do so. Alec Baldwin notoriously steals his one scene, but the entire cast here is a stunner, especially Al Pacino (who was Oscar-nominated), Alan Arkin, and Jack Lemmon.

    Inside Man.
    Photo: Moviestore/Shutterstock

    Year: 2006
    Runtime: 2h 8m
    Director: Spike Lee

    Yes, Spike Lee once made a great action movie. The director of Do the Right Thing and Da 5 Bloods put his spin on the heist film with this great 2006 Denzel Washington vehicle. The regular collaborator plays an NYPD hostage negotiator, called in when a bank heist goes down on Wall Street. Tight and effective, this is just further evidence that Spike Lee can nail any kind of movie he chooses to make. This might be Lee’s most underrated movie. It hums.

    The Killer.
    Photo: Netflix

    Year: 2023
    Runtime: 1h 59m
    Director: David Fincher

    Michael Fassbender gives his best performance in years as an icy hired assassin who struggles to hold things together when a job goes horribly wrong. It’s a movie about a self-proclaimed perfectionist who is constantly defying his own voiceover, a great film that’s alternately hysterical and thrilling. One of the best of 2023.

    The Killing Fields.
    Photo: Warner Bros./Everett Collection

    Year: 1984
    Runtime: 2h 21m
    Director: Roland Joffé

    The story of the Khmer Rouge and the genocidal atrocities in Cambodia in the ‘70s is detailed in the Oscar-winning The Killing Fields, a movie that’s sometimes hard to watch but worth the effort, especially as violence around the world has become such a vital talking point in 2024. Sam Waterston and Haing S. Ngor (who won an Oscar) star as journalists investigating the war crimes of the Khmer Rouge in this bleak but important film.

    May December.
    Photo: Rocket Science

    Year: 2023
    Runtime: 1h 57m
    Director: Todd Haynes

    Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman star in the latest from Carol and Far from Heaven director Todd Haynes, a stunning character study of an actress who discovers that some people are impossible to figure out. Portman plays a star who tries to get under the skin of Moore’s character, a woman who raped a child when she was a teacher, and later married that young man. Charles Melton is phenomenal as the now-grown victim, stuck in perpetual adolescence.

    Moneyball.
    Photo: Columbia Pictures

    Year: 2011
    Runtime: 2h 13m
    Director: Bennett Miller

    One of the best baseball movies ever made was adapted from the 2003 book by Michael Lewis, which recounts the management of the 2002 season of the Oakland Athletics, and how they changed the way the game is run by bringing analytics into the mix. Brad Pitt gives one of his best performances as general manager Billy Beane, a man who knew he would have to find a new way to evaluate talent if the A’s were going to compete. This is a rich, smart, riveting movie that’s extra-interesting given what the Oakland franchise is going through in 2024.

    The Nest.
    Photo: IFC Films

    Year: 2020
    Runtime: 1h 47m
    Director: Sean Durkin

    A victim of the pandemic, this was one of the best films of 2020. Carrie Coon and Jude Law star as a married couple with two kids who move from New York City to London in the 1980s and watch as the divides in their union start to widen. A great character study amplified by Durkin’s sharp visual language, this is a fantastic domestic drama, and the best movie on this list that you probably haven’t seen.

    The Power of the Dog.
    Photo: KIRSTY GRIFFIN/NETFLIX

    Year: 2021
    Runtime: 2h 6m
    Director: Jane Campion

    The film that finally won an Oscar for Jane Campion for directing is one of the most acclaimed in the history of the streaming giant. Campion helmed this adaptation of the novel of the same name by Thomas Savage, the story of a vicious landowner (Benedict Cumberbatch) who torments the new wife (Kirsten Dunst) of his brother (Jesse Plemons). A drama that plays like a thriller, this gorgeously rendered period piece unpacks themes of toxic masculinity and manipulation in a way that makes it impossible to turn away.

    Traffic.
    Photo: USA Films/Everett Collection

    Year: 2000
    Runtime: 2h 27m
    Director: Steven Soderbergh

    Steven Soderbergh and Benicio del Toro won Oscars for an epic examination of the illegal drug trade at the turn of the century. One of the incredible craftsman’s best films, Traffic tackles no less than the entire structure of drugs in North America, intertwining stories of users, politicians, traffickers, and lawmen. Some of the movie feels a little dated, but the sheer force of the filmmaking will always be timeless.

    Wild Things.
    Photo: Columbia Pictures/Archive Photos/Getty Images

    Year: 1998
    Runtime: 1h 48m
    Director: John McNaughton

    A classic of the B-movie sleazy thriller era, this is actually a deeply underrated movie, a flick that works from old-fashioned noir and even Greek tragedy to tell the tale of two teenagers (Neve Campbell, Denise Richard) who get caught up in a scheme with a slimy teacher played perfectly by Matt Dillon. It’s remembered most for its sex factor, but this is a clever flick, a movie that plays with class and privilege in fascinating ways.

    1917.
    Photo: Universal Pictures

    Year: 2019
    Runtime: 1h 59m
    Director: Sam Mendes

    This Oscar winner doesn’t land on streaming services very often, so take this chance while you can. Sam Mendes directs a visceral recounting of a personal story told to him by his grandfather about his time in World War I, allowing the harrowing journey of a British soldier (George MacKay) to unfold in one unforgettable, unbroken shot.

    Baby Driver.
    Photo: Wilson Webb/IMDB

    Year: 2017
    Runtime: 1h 53m
    Director: Edgar Wright

    It’s a little harder to watch this movie now given the allegations against some of its cast members, but it’s still a remarkably well-made piece of action filmmaking, the kinetically unforgettable story of a getaway driver who knows all the best tunes. Ansel Elgort, Jamie Foxx, and Lily James may be the stars of this movie, but it’s Wright’s showmanship that really steals the spotlight.

    Everything Everywhere All at Once.
    Photo: A24

    Year: 2022
    Runtime: 2h 19m
    Directors: The Daniels

    After a brief stint on Amazon Prime, this is the first Netflix drop for the 2023 Best Picture winner, a movie that defies categorization as it tells a story of alternate realities and butt plugs. A film that debuted at SXSW, this daring piece of work built an audience through 2022 until it won multiple Oscars, including Best Picture and Director. It’s like nothing else. Anywhere.

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Godzilla Minus One.
    Photo: Toho International

    Year: 2023
    Runtime: 2h 5m
    Director: Takashi Yamazaki

    Netflix stunned people when they stealthily dropped this worldwide hit on their service on June 1st, making a movie that wasn’t even on VOD finally available at home. The winner of the Oscar for Best Visual Effects, Godzilla Minus One is a masterful blend of action and social commentary, considered by many to be among the best in this generations-spanning franchise.

    Kill Bill.
    Photo: Miramax/Everett Collection

    Year: 2003
    Runtime: 1h 50m
    Director: Quentin Tarantino

    We will still have to wait for the long-promised full cut of the two Kill Bill films into one epic movie (and the long-rumored third volume of this tale), but that shouldn’t stop you from revisiting two of Quentin Tarantino’s best films — both volumes are on Netflix now. In a catalog that includes a lot of great performances (and a few Oscar winners), one of QT’s best is Uma Thurman as The Bride, a legendary action character seeking vengeance on the man who betrayed her.

    The Matrix.
    Photo: Courtesy of the studio

    Year: 1999
    Runtime: 2h 16m
    Director: The Wachowskis

    Neo and the gang returned to HBO Max in late 2021 with The Matrix Resurrections, and the response was predictably divisive. You know what’s not divisive? The fact that the first movie still absolutely rules. The story of an average guy who learns that nothing is what it seems has influenced so much pop culture in the over-two decades since this movie was released. You can see Neo everywhere. (And you can watch the entire original trilogy on Netflix now.)

    Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
    Photo: 20th Century Fox

    Year: 2005
    Runtime: 2h
    Director: Doug Liman

    The fun new reboot series may be over on Prime, but Netflix has the one that started it all. The movie that gave the world Brangelina. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt star as a seemingly ordinary suburban couple who discover that they both have secret identities as competing assassins. When they get assignments to kill each other, all Hell breaks loose.

    Photo: Tartan Films

    Year: 2003
    Runtime: 2h
    Director: Park Chan-wook

    It’s hard to explain to people how this movie moved through the film-loving world before Film Twitter was a thing. Recently restored for its 20th anniversary, Oldboy has now been dropped on Netflix again, and it’s lost none of its searing power. It’s the tale of a man who is kidnapped, and its genius is that it’s not a whodunit as much as a whydunit, forcing viewers and protagonists to wonder about a truly grisly motive until the final unforgettable act.

    Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse.
    Photo: Sony Pictures Animation

    Year: 2023
    Runtime: 2h 20m
    Director: Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, Justin K. Thompson

    What a gift to Netflix subscribers for this to already be on the service, mere weeks after playing in theaters and landing on Blu-ray. This is how you do a big-budget blockbuster sequel, developing the themes of the first movie and setting up the stake for what now appears will be one of the best trilogies in superhero history. Packed with so much detail and creativity, it’s a film Netflix subscribers will want to watch over and over again. Do so while you still can.

    Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    Knocked Up.
    Photo: Universal/Everett Collection

    Year: 2007
    Runtime: 2h 9m
    Director: Judd Apatow

    The movie’s gender politics seem shakier than when it came out, but Judd Apatow’s biggest hit still works because of the intelligence of its screenplay and commitment of its cast, especially Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl. The story of a man forced to grow up when his one-night stand gets pregnant errs a bit too much on the side of the male view, but one can’t deny the pure laughs-per-minute ratio. It’s fun to contrast this with the more recent Long Shot to see how much Rogen has changed (and how much he really hasn’t).

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
    Photo: EMI Films/Cinema 5 Distributing

    Year: 1975
    Runtime: 1h 29m
    Director: Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones

    During a hiatus between the third and fourth seasons of Monty Python’s Family Circus, the gang of mega-talented comedians decided to make movie history. Inspired by the King Arthur legend, Holy Grail is a timeless comedy, the rare kind of film that will still be making people laugh hundreds of years from now. And while the Monty Python boys were already famous, this film took them to another level, cementing their place in movie history.

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Pineapple Express.
    Photo: Sony Pictures Releasing

    Year: 2008
    Runtime: 1h 52m
    Director: David Gordon Green

    Seth Rogen gives one of his best performances as Dale Denton, an average guy who just wants to get high. He visits his dealer (played perfectly by James Franco) on the wrong night as the pair cross paths with hitmen and a police officer on the wrong side of the law. This is an incredibly funny movie, and you don’t need to be high to love it.

    The Babadook.
    Photo: Causeway Films

    Year: 2014
    Runtime: 1h 33m
    Director: Jennifer Kent

    One of the best horror films of the 2010s has not been widely available for streaming subscribers so take the chance to watch it again while it’s on Netflix. Jennifer Kent’s directorial debut centers on a mother (Essie Davis) who struggles to raise her problem child alone after the death of her husband. Oh, and there’s also a real monster in the boy’s room.

    Gerald’s Game.
    Photo: Netflix

    Year: 2017
    Runtime: 1h 43m
    Director: Mike Flanagan

    Before he helmed The Haunting of Hill House, Mike Flanagan co-wrote and directed one of the best Netflix Original horror films in this adaptation of Stephen King’s 1992 novel of the same name. Carla Gugino is phenomenal as a woman who gets handcuffed to her bed by her toxic husband…and then he has a heart attack. As she tries to figure out how she will survive, she accesses the trauma of her past.

    Shrek.
    Photo: DreamWorks Pictures

    Year: 2001
    Runtime: 1h 30m
    Director: Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson

    It’s hard to believe that it’s almost been a quarter-century since the flatulent green ogre in the swamp changed family filmmaking. Think that’s an exaggeration? The referential, pop-culture playground of modern animation really starts with this massive hit, a movie that spawned three sequels and spin-offs. It’s held up well, largely thanks to a playful script and great voice work from Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy.

    Pinocchio.
    Photo: Netflix

    Year: 2022
    Runtime: 1h 56m
    Director: Guillermo del Toro, Mark Gustafson

    The Oscar-winning director took his visionary skills to stop-motion animation with this instant classic, a retelling of the beloved fairy tale about the wooden boy who longed to be real. With spectacular voice work, this version reimagines Pinocchio during the period before World War II, allowing del Toro to explore his themes of innocence and violence again. It’s a deeply personal, beautiful film.

    Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

    Wendell & Wild.
    Photo: Netflix

    Year: 2022
    Runtime: 1h 46m
    Director: Henry Selick

    The director of A Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline finally returned this year with this clever and twisted tale co-written by Oscar winner Jordan Peele. The comedian also co-stars as one of the title characters, the literal demons for a girl who blames herself for the death of her parents. Selick is a master of stop-motion animation and this project allows him to stretch his visual prowess in new, gross ways. It’s a new Halloween classic (that can be watched any time, of course!)

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    Brian Tallerico

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  • The Worst Snubs in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame History (So Far)

    The Worst Snubs in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame History (So Far)

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    The Commodores, still not nominated.
    Photo: Aaron Rapoport/Corbis/Getty Images

    The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a bizarre institution that manages to simultaneously be one of the highest honors in music and also be extremely peripheral. Last year, when legendary singer Tina Turner died, just about every article covering the news mentioned her status as a two-time Rock and Roll Hall of Famer. Some even had it in the headline. It’s an immediately recognizable shorthand for significance. On the other hand, most people completely forget about the Hall’s existence, save for maybe one or two times a year. These moments usually coincide with its major announcements: who’s been nominated, who’s being inducted, what’s happening at the annual induction ceremony. And the typical response is often one of incredulity, if not outrage. “How is this artist not already in?!” “This artist sucks and doesn’t belong!” “Who cares about the Rock Hall?”

    This weekend, the Hall announced its slate of nominees for induction in 2024. Like every year, the list includes the previously nominated (Jane’s Addiction, Mary J. Blige) as well as some first-time nominees (Foreigner, Sade). Over the next few months, there will be no scarcity of discussion (online at least) of these acts, and even more so for the handful that eventually get voted in for induction. But for now, let’s take a moment to formally acknowledge some of the artists most deserving of Rock Hall induction who somehow have never been nominated.

    Some notes before we begin. Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after their first released recording. This could mean an album, EP, single, whatever. For the majority of the Hall’s existence, it was technically 26 years, as the nominating committee would choose artists at the end of the year for induction the following year. For example, Led Zeppelin’s first release was in 1969 (their debut album), so they became eligible in 1994, then were inducted in 1995. Further confusing things, the pandemic shifted the Hall’s entire calendar, both delaying the inductions and pushing the nomination process into the following year. In an attempt to clear up all this confusion, the Hall considered two new years of eligible artists last year for the 2023 ballot, definitively making 25 years the eligibility requirement. No amount of time passing renders an artist ineligible.

    Also, the Rock Hall has a pretty loose definition of the term “rock and roll.” I get a lot of shit on my podcast, Who Cares About the Rock Hall?, for claiming the “roll” part of the term includes genres like R&B, soul, funk, and hip-hop. But I think I’m right, and it appears the Hall agrees: Acts like Chaka Khan, Lionel Richie, and Jay-Z have recently been inducted, to name a few. So cry as you might that they’re “not rock and roll,” but the point is moot. The ship has sailed, and there’s no coming back. And honestly, if it’s a ship that’s playing Whitney Houston (Class of 2020) and the Spinners (Class of 2023), then it’s a ship worth being on.

    Note: This is a list that is updated every year when the new ballot is revealed. Artists that were once on the list but then removed after their first nomination: The Go-Go’s, Iron Maiden, A Tribe Called Quest, George Michael, and Joy Division/New Order, as well as 2024 nominees Cher, Kool & the Gang, and Mariah Carey.

    Became eligible: 2004 ceremony

    Case for induction: The B-52s kicked off their career in 1978 with the avant-garde party bop, “Rock Lobster,” a song so weird and great that it inspired John Lennon to start making music again. After four albums (including two undeniable classics, their eponymous debut and Wild Planet), the death of guitarist Ricky Wilson could have meant the end of their career. But they regrouped for an astonishing comeback with 1989’s Cosmic Thing, featuring two of their most iconic songs, “Roam” and “Love Shack.” And enough can’t be said for their influence as one of the earliest and most prominent queer bands in rock.

    What’s the holdup: Hard to say because they’re so innovative and have had success both critically and commercially. A potential problem might be that the layman probably only knows four of their songs (the aforementioned three, plus “Private Idaho”). But anyone who’s dug into their catalog even a little bit knows there’s no scarcity of really great music.

    Became eligible: 2013 ceremony

    Case for induction: “I was basically trying to rip off the Pixies. I have to admit it.” This is Kurt Cobain, talking in a 1994 Rolling Stone interview about the creation of Nirvana’s opus, Nevermind. He’s referring to the signature noisy, soft-then-loud, punky-but-still-pop sound that Nirvana (inducted in 2014) may have popularized but the Pixies had previously perfected. In the late ’80s, the Pixies put out two pivotal alt-rock LPs, Surfer Rosa and Doolittle, that set the template for grunge. Although none of their songs were hits at the time of release, many are considered classics today: “Here Comes Your Man,” “Where Is My Mind?,” and “Monkey Gone to Heaven,” to name a few.

    What’s the holdup: Traditionally, the Hall is not great at acknowledging music that was influential, despite not being massively popular. It took the Stooges eight ballots and 15 years before they were finally inducted in 2010. Eligible since 1992, MC5 have been on six ballots and still aren’t in. And these are groups from the ’60s, an era that the Hall voters tend to like! Worthy underground artists from later time periods (Sonic Youth, Black Flag, Hüsker Dü) are likely to struggle, given the lack of mainstream name recognition.

    Became eligible: 2019 ceremony

    Case for induction: There’s no official list of criteria for induction into the Rock Hall, but if there were, it would likely include things like critical acclaim, commercial success, innovation, and influence. OutKast overachieves in all these categories. The Atlanta-based hip-hop duo featuring Big Boi and André 3000 is among the most critically celebrated in the genre, with three appearances on Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums list and six Grammys. All of their studio albums have gone platinum, with 2003’s Speakerboxxx/The Love Below reaching diamond status, no doubt buoyed by its twin No. 1 hits: the quirky, inescapable “Hey Ya!” and the sultry banger “The Way You Move.” Never afraid to experiment or push sonic boundaries, OutKast certainly had “somethin’ to say,” and their influence can be heard in artists from Run the Jewels to Frank Ocean.

    What’s the holdup: The Hall seems to have a methodical approach to hip-hop, which typically results in one newly eligible act from the genre getting in each year. Last year it was Missy Elliott, the year before that it was Eminem. They could have paved a similar path when OutKast first became eligible in 2019, but at that time the Hall was still trying to find a way in for rap pioneer LL Cool J (who was finally inducted three years ago through the catchall side category of Musical Excellence). For this year’s ballot, the Hall is reaching back to two previously nominated hip-hop artists that came before OutKast’s time: A Tribe Called Quest and Eric B. & Rakim.

    Became eligible: 2015 ceremony

    Case for induction: When Seattle was getting all the attention for the grunge explosion in the early ’90s, the Smashing Pumpkins came bursting out of Chicago with their massively successful second LP, 1993’s Siamese Dream. The album showcased frontman Billy Corgan’s hard-rocking bonafides (“Cherub Rock”) as well as his sensitive side (“Disarm”) and catapulted them from critical darlings to platinum-selling superstars. Their follow-up, 1995’s triple-album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, was even bigger, achieving diamond certification and earning them Record of the Year and Album of the Year Grammy nominations (rare for a rock band at that time). Many of their songs, including “Bullet With Butterfly Wings,” “1979,” and “Today,” continue to be alt-rock radio staples, proving the enduring appeal of their work.

    What’s the holdup: Billy Corgan is not well-liked. His nasally, acquired-taste voice aside, it’s his bristly personality that has earned him a bad reputation over the years. Certainly not helping his case is his multiple appearances on right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones’s talk show. Too bad for the other members of the group, who also exist, to Corgan’s occasional dismay.

    Became eligible: 1997 ceremony

    Case for induction: Under their original name, the Blue Belles, they were an East Coast doo-wop group putting out modestly successful music throughout the ’60s. Not long after original member Cindy Birdsong left to join the Supremes, the remaining trio of Patti LaBelle, Nona Hendryx, and Sarah Dash rebranded as simply Labelle in 1971. With that name change came an overhaul in image and sound. Decked out in outrageous, space-inspired costumes, they leaned into funk, rock, and soul. This new direction not only allowed lead singer Patti to better showcase her powerhouse voice but it also set up Nona to blossom into the group’s primary songwriter. The band’s peak came in 1974 with the smash-hit LP Nightbirds, buoyed by the No. 1 single “Lady Marmalade,” a sonic precursor to the disco revolution that would come years later. This success took them to the cover of Rolling Stone, becoming both the first girl group and the first black vocal group to do so.

    What’s the holdup: Labelle may have been a groundbreaking group, but it’s really Patti by herself who has the name recognition and the consistent hits (“If Only You Knew,” “New Attitude,” “On My Own”). So do you nominate the critically acclaimed band or the more commercially successful solo artist? This was a similar conundrum that the Hall had with Chaka Khan, who was nominated three times as a solo artist and four times with her band, Rufus. After seven unsuccessful tries on the ballot, Chaka was eventually ushered in by herself as a “Musical Excellence” induction last year. Perhaps this will be the same fate for Ms. LaBelle, but the Hall should try her band on the ballot first.

    Became eligible: 1999 ceremony

    Case for induction: Does anybody sound like Barry White? That ultra-deep, smooth voice is unmistakably his, and you have to give it up when an artist owns their sound. Here’s another question: Is anybody’s music more synonymous with having sex? If a TV show or movie wants to signify a sexy moment, they play Barry White. That’s the power of this guy’s music. Not to mention, he’s got the catalog to back it up. He sold millions of albums throughout the ’70s, supported by seductive songs like “I’m Gonna Love You Just a Little More Baby,” “It’s Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me,” and the iconic “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe.” But unlike many of his peers from that era, he was able to make a significant comeback two decades later with 1994’s multiplatinum LP, The Icon Is Love.

    What’s the holdup: White passed away in 2003, and in recent years, it feels like the Hall’s priority has been to induct living artists. 2020’s class was a bit of an exception, as three of the six inductees were deceased: Whitney Houston, The Notorious B.I.G., and T. Rex. However, 2021 and 2022 swung back in the other direction, with all the performer inductees still living. Last year saw the posthumous inductions of George Michael and the majority of the Spinners, but the 2024 ballot features mostly living artists with the exceptions of Sinéad O’Connor and many key founding members of Kool & the Gang.

    Became eligible: 2006 ceremony

    Case for induction: Hailing from Australia, INXS were one of the most reliable hitmakers of the ’80s. At first, it began with minor successes like “The One Thing” and “Original Sin,” but by decade’s end, they were scoring Top 5 American hits like “What You Need,” “Need You Tonight,” “Devil Inside,” and “New Sensation.” These songs, among many others, exhibit the group’s signature blend of danceable rock hooks with front man Michael Hutchence’s sultry vocals. It’s this musical alchemy that not only shot them to the top of the charts but has also kept INXS as an enduring part of the New Wave canon. They continued putting out solid and popular work into the ’90s, but their run was cut short by the death of Hutchence, who committed suicide in 1997.

    What’s the holdup: The Hall has been famously slow to induct acts of the ’80s, but that seems to have turned around recently. In the past three years, we’ve had inductees like the Go-Go’s, Duran Duran, Eurythmics, Pat Benatar, Lionel Richie, and George Michael — all artists who had to wait more than a decade each since their initial eligibility. This influx of ’80s artists might be attributable to a change in leadership; in 2020, Rolling Stone co-founder Jann Wenner resigned as chairman and handed over the keys to the Hall kingdom to MTV co-founder John Sykes. So with a more ’80s-friendly leader at the helm, maybe INXS’s day is around the corner.

    Became eligible: 2000 ceremony

    Case for induction: Formed while students at Tuskegee University and signed to Motown Records just out of college, the Commodores were one of the hottest funk bands of the ’70s. They had a knack for powerfully rhythmic songs that oozed sex, like “Brick House” and “Slippery When Wet,” but what took them to stratospheric heights of success was their co-lead-singer Lionel Richie’s preternatural skill as a balladeer. His songs like “Easy” and “Three Times a Lady” showcased the group’s softer side and garnered them huge sales and major Grammy nominations. Richie would split off for a solo career in the early ’80s, but the group soldiered on without him, scoring one more Top 5 hit with 1985’s “Nightshift.”

    What’s the holdup: Lionel Richie is far and away the most recognizable member of the Commodores, and the Hall chose to induct him as a solo artist in 2022. That doesn’t necessarily exclude the Commodores from future consideration, but it certainly kicks them way down the priority list, unfortunately. They already got the famous guy to show up — are they just gonna induct him again immediately? So it might be a while for this one.

    Comedian Joe Kwaczala is the co-host of the podcast Who Cares About the Rock Hall?, along with comedian Kristen Studard.

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    Joe Kwaczala

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