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  • Girls5eva Season 3 Explores the Struggle Between the Group’s Bid For Worldwide Fame and Simply Settling for the “Medium Time” Instead of the Big Time

    Girls5eva Season 3 Explores the Struggle Between the Group’s Bid For Worldwide Fame and Simply Settling for the “Medium Time” Instead of the Big Time

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    If Girls5eva is seeking to achieve anything (apart from de-glamorizing late 90s/early 00s pop) in season three, it’s that, sometimes, “settling” is for the best. But this is a revelation that does not arrive until the sixth and final episode, titled “New York” (indeed, all the episodes are named after the cities the band is touring in). In the wake of the series’ transition to Netflix, the third season has only six episodes where the previous two consisted of eight. Whether that bodes well or not remains to be seen, but, either way, Girls5eva has been set up with a cliffhanger that leads one to believe season four is secured. Even though Netflix is known to pull the plug arbitrarily (*cough cough* GLOW). 

    One can only hope that isn’t the case here, with much more material to be mined as Dawn Solano (Sara Bareilles), Wickie Roy (Renée Elise Goldsberry), Summer Dutkowsky (Busy Philipps) and Gloria McManus (Paula Pell) finally become comfortable with the idea of the “medium time.” That “sweet spot” between being total nobodies and being too famous to engage in everyday activities. 

    It’s only after a combination of getting that advice from medium-time “star” Richard Kind and seeing how imprisoned the Taylor Swift-level famous Gray Holland (Thomas Doherty, perhaps best known for playing sexually fluid Max Wolfe on the Gossip Girl reboot) is that the group can come to terms with their so-called mediocrity. In fact, the majority of the season explores a certain grappling with this reality. One that reaches a crescendo when Wickie a.k.a. Lesley Wiggens returns to her hometown of Clarksville, Maryland with the rest of the group in tow (plus their assistant/driver, Percy [John Lutz, of 30 Rock notoriety], the victim of a Punk’d-style prank reality show that Girls5eva was on in the 2000s, and who they feel guilty enough about humiliating to want to give him a “fresh start” in life). For, as far as any of the other band members knew, Wickie lived a “hardscrabble” life before becoming famous. 

    Turns out, what she meant by that is that she would play really hard games of Scrabble with her upper middle class parents. To be sure, the entire “Clarksville” episode is all about the curse of being born into an upper middle class family in terms of how it ruins one’s chances of becoming a famous icon. After all, it’s not enough of a sob story to make for a compelling biopic later on, nor is it in the nepo baby category of privilege that somehow makes a person more “interesting.” 

    Gloria definitely agrees with that sentiment upon realizing that Wickie grew up in a privileged, loving environment as she snaps, “You’re no Shania Twain. Look it up, she’s a hero.” Wickie shrugs, “All I did was create a more intriguing narrative…without technically lying.” And it’s true, Wickie has an answer for every lie her bandmates try to throw back in her face. Later, at the dinner table, Dawn asks Mr. and Mrs. Wiggens (played by Ron Canada and Adriane Lenox, respectively) if they always bail Wickie out when she gets herself in a financial bind. They confirm that, yes, they do—because she’s their daughter. Mr. Wiggens then tells Wickie, “You know we always support you.” She balks, “Maybe that’s the problem.” Confused, he asks, “What is?” Wickie replies, “All of this…wonderful support.” She continues, “You coddled me! Why couldn’t you be one of those sick pageant parents that live your shattered dreams through me?” She then brings up how they even let her quit tap dancing lessons so that now she’s just “pretty good.” Another mark of averageness under her belt. She concludes her speech by screaming, “I wish I’d never been born upper middle class!”

    The reconciliation with being average/par/middle-of-the-road is a running motif throughout the season. And it’s only when the group is allowed to “revert to the past,” so to speak, that they can fully understand why they’re still so hellbent on pursuing global superstardom in the present. This moment for “time travel” to the height of their heyday comes in episode four, “Orlando.” Enlisted by a millennial with money to burn (such a rare breed) named Taffy England (Catherine Cohen) for a private performance at her birthday party, the quartet is flown out on a private jet to attend the event. One in which they quickly find they aren’t the only performers. Turns out, Taffy’s birthday theme is bringing all the posters from her teen girl bedroom to life. Thus, cameos by Rebecca Lobo, a real Monet painting, “Zeke from California High,” “Pixie Jones” (a Jewel-like folk singer played by Ingrid Michaelson) and “Torque” (Loic Mabanza), a Tyrese-like model/actor who used to “date” Wickie as a PR maneuver. 

    As Dawn starts to realize how much Girls5eva had an impact on Taffy’s “teen girl mind,” she starts to feel even less enthusiastic about this performance, even bringing up one of her more toxic 00s memories when Taffy mentions first seeing them live at the Disney Summer Spectacular “hosted by Jar Jar Binks and Bill Cosby.” Dawn cringes at the thought, then tells Taffy, “Fun memory. ‘Cause backstage Fred Durst and Kid Rock realized you could fill Super Soakers with liquid shit.” Taffy is appropriately appalled before Gloria leads her away to tell her that her “vibe sucks” and that she has to keep her mouth shut in order to do this. 

    Dawn grudgingly agrees, but when Taffy then requests that they play “Sweet’n Low Daddy” from the Heartbreakers Soundtrack (a very specific film reference), it’s more than Dawn can bear. Especially in her fragile pregnant state—the one that asks her if she would want her own daughter growing up listening to the music that she used to churn out. 

    “Our old music was pretty toxic,” Dawn says from the outset of their private plane ride. And yet, she tells herself she’s willing to do it for the sake of their “real art.” And that, if Bob Dylan can sell out for Victoria’s Secret, she can do it for this private, one-off thirty-thousand-dollar gig. Because, unlike most people (millennials and Gen Z alike), Dawn declares, “I’m sorry I’m not nostalgic for the 2000s… I’m just not interested in looking back.” Yet, though she claims the reason she doesn’t want to look back is because of how toxic and (even more) misogynistic the culture was at that time, part of the truth is that it’s also painful to remember how famous and “in their prime” they once were. Two qualities that helped to make the Dawn of that era what she calls “fearless.” 

    Indeed, there was certainly no fear about offending anyone with the majority of the rhetoric. Case in point, a flashback to another song of Girls5eva’s from the period, “Your Wife Sux.” A single that Dawn also believes infected Taffy’s mind when she describes how she secured her sugar daddy. At one point, Dawn laments to Gloria, “Our old shitty songs wormed their way into her squishy teen brain and made her want this.” Gloria scoffs, “We didn’t invent the idea of a sugar daddy. Women have always traded puss for boots.” And it’s true, Taffy made her romantic decision all on her own, finally schooling Dawn on why she wanted Girls5eva to perform after asking her why she’s “happy to sit this one out” and let Taffy go onstage in her place. 

    Dawn explains, “I’m not really a big fan of our early stuff. I don’t love the messages. And I’d feel bad if they became like a life road map for some impressionable young girls.” Taffy demands, “Are you talking about me?” Dawn breaks down, “Taffy, I’m so sorry. I feel terrible that I made you.” Looking at Dawn like she’s off her meds, Taffy responds, “You think you made me? You wanna know why Girls5eva is here?” Feebly, Dawn suggests, “Because we’re your heroes?” “No. Because you made me feel like I felt back when I had your poster on my wall. Back before I found out my dad had a second family and I lit all those fires and my mom got blamed and we lost the apartment and I had to drop out of school and dig graves behind the vet’s office.” Feeling humbled, Dawn just awkwardly replies, “Okay.” But Taffy isn’t done yet. “That’s what people love about nostalgia, dumb-dumb. Makes them feel like they did when life was easy, you know?… So get over yourself, and let me enjoy my party.” Dawn concedes, wishing her a happy birthday. Except Taffy has just one more point to make: “You’re doing the same thing, by the way.” “Excuse me?” Dawn inquires with offense in her tone. “Come on. Back with your girl group from twenty years ago. You think you’re too good for ‘Sweet’n Low Daddy’ or ‘I’m A Guy’s Girl (Girls Are Crazy)’? But, there’s something you miss about it too.” 

    With this assessment slapped down, Dawn can’t deny that there’s truth in what Taffy says. That she misses the glory of such a brightly-burning spotlight, even if the material that secured it was dubious then and certainly doesn’t stand the test of time now. Musing about that period to Rebecca Lobo, she bemoans, “I didn’t know it’d all be gone in a matter of months. But life happens. You know, you grow up, nobody thinks you’re special anymore.” Then, looking at the image of herself from the 00s (that’s actually her current image with a different hairstyle) on Taffy’s poster, Dawn admits, “I miss her. And when I’m onstage, I feel like her again.” So it is that she joins Taffy and the others for an enthusiastic rendition of “Sweet’n Low Daddy.” Principles be damned!

    Those principles are no longer put into question, though, when Girls5eva settles for the medium time because they truly love what they do. And yes, settling for the medium time is playing to an empty Radio City Music Hall on Thanksgiving, but not needing to worry about the fact that no one real bought tickets thanks to Summer gaming the system with a bot army that prevents them from being sued by the venue for failure to draw in enough ticket buyers. As Dawn looks out to pretty much no one, she sings a new song inspired by her recent revelation, featuring the lyrics, “The middle is the riddle of it all” and “The middle time is just fine.” The caveat being, “…for now.”

    Those two words are what come into play when one of Wickie’s old songs from Yesternights gets played on The Crown (or rather, the version of The Crown that exists in the Girls5eva universe). Assuring her that coveted Kate Bush-being-played-on-Stranger Things resuscitation. And when Nance Trace (Vanessa Williams) actually calls Wickie to offer her a deal to do a song for a “female Garfield movie,” Wickie insists she’s still a package deal. When Dawn urgently reminds her that they were supposed to be happy with the medium time, the episode ends just as Wickie is about to give her answer. 

    Obviously, this cliffhanger reiterates the central dilemma of the season: does one settle for what they can get and cease risking constant humiliation or does one keep chasing the dream? Knowing Girls5eva, it will continue to be the latter in season four.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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  • On How Vanessa Williams’ “Save the Best for Last” Is the Ultimate “Eh, I Guess You’ll Do” Track

    On How Vanessa Williams’ “Save the Best for Last” Is the Ultimate “Eh, I Guess You’ll Do” Track

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    Echoing Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” long before it ever came out, Vanessa Williams’ hit single from 1992, “Save the Best for Last,” also explores the perspective of a woman waiting for her close male friend to come around and see that it’s she who has been the one all along. Amid his various breakups and complaints about relationships, it was so obvious, at least to Williams, that this man should be with her. Just as it was to Taylor as she insisted, “If you could see that I’m the one who understands you/Been here all along, so why can’t you see?/You belong with me/Standing by and waiting at your back door [a very innuendo-laden lyric]/All this time, how could you not know, baby?/You belong with me, you belong with me.”

    Williams feels much the same, also addressing her friend/“love of her life” in the second verse in a similar fashion when she says, “All of the nights you came to me/When some silly girl had set you free/You wondered how you’d make it through/I wondered what was wrong with you/‘Cause how could you give your love to someone else?/And share your dreams with me/Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for/Is the one thing you can’t see.” While that sounds “innocent” enough in terms of the usual plotline about a girl who yearns to make the transition from platonic to romantic with her best male friend, as Williams continues the song, the nature of the relationship suddenly becomes less “fairy-tale” and more, well, kind of pathetic. No wonder so many singers rejected it, as a matter of fact. With the track eventually finding itself in Williams’ hands as, wouldn’t you know it, sloppy seconds because no one else was interested in keeping it around after being offered a turn with it. 

    Thus, when a song on her sophomore album, The Comfort Zone (what a title, considering “Save the Best for Last” is ultimately all about reverting to what’s “easiest”), needed to be replaced and the composition was presented as a substitute, Williams exclaimed, “I can’t believe nobody wants this song. I have to have this song.” And have it she did, managing to transform it into a number one hit and Grammy-nominated single. Which should give a strong indication of the cornball musical tastes that dominated the early 90s before jaded grunge took over for a brief blip in time. 

    While Williams (or rather, the “character” she’s portraying in sonic form) sits back and watches this man stick his dick in just about every other woman except her, she naturally starts to lose faith in the idea that they might ever be together. Or, more to the point, that he might ever be capable of seeing her sexually (call it the Keith Nelson/Watts effect before Dawson and Joey existed to eclipse that trope). But, lo and behold, “Just when I thought our chance had passed/You go and save the best for last.” Of course, if we’re being more candid about what’s really happening—in lieu of using Williams’ flowery description of events—the object of Williams’ affection has “resorted” to his female friend, sizing her up and all at once deciding, “Eh, I guess you’ll do. No one else has really worked out for me, so why not give it a go?” She is his last resort, his final attempt at seeing if this “love thing” is real, or if “enduring relationships” are just another myth propagated by previous generations in service of capitalism. Williams, meanwhile, is content to see his decision to be with her as a “belated revelation” on his part as she remarks a second time (for repetition is key to believing), “Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for/Is the one thing you can’t see.” In other words, sometimes you decide to see someone a certain way because it’s more convenient to do that than endure the effort of dating.

    Even Williams appears to acknowledge that she’s a bit delusional in how she’s choosing to package this “once-in-a-lifetime” event, at least if the accompanying video is anything to go by. In it, she walks alone amidst a snow-covered landscape as snow also falls softly around her, so as to complement the line, “Sometimes the snow comes down in June” (once more, this is very Taylor Swift-y in tone—and not just because of “Snow on the Beach”), indicating how “special” and “unique” the phenomenon of her friend “realizing” they should be together is. She then passes an ax wedged into a stump, which is something of an odd visual choice that might lead the more “sick-minded” to believe this story could go in an entirely different direction: Williams is going to murder her friend-turned-lover for taking so long to come to his senses about her. That’s the extent of the production value before we see Williams alone in a cozy cabin with a fireplace (let’s not forget: the album was called The Comfort Zone) continuing to muse on how glad she is that things have finally progressed between her and her presumable “best friend.” And yet, if that’s the case, then where the fuck is he in all this? Is this, at heart, just an instance of erotomania being captured on film by the video’s director, Ralph Ziman? One could argue that for sure, or even that the ax shown at the beginning of the video alluded to how she murdered her friend so that she could finally project her emotions onto him and have them returned, propping him up somewhere in the house like Norman Bates’ mother. 

    Call it far-fetched, but it certainly makes sense considering her admission to years of what amounted to resentful longing in the lines, “‘Cause there was a time when all I did was wish/You’d tell me this was love,” adding, “It’s not the way I hoped or how I planned/But somehow it’s enough.” Damn, talk about the guy settling for second best, not “saving the best for last.” Here, too, the “let me murder and turn him into a ‘flesh doll’” plot definitely has clout, since she couldn’t seem to get him to “understand” that they ought to be together by any other means. Unless, of course, it is as straightforward as the song indicates and he arbitrarily glanced over at her one day and essentially said, “Eh, I guess you’ll do.”

    She, in turn, marketed that to herself as a “grand love story” and automatically accepted the “proposal.” And this, somehow, was billed as one of the greatest love ballads of the 90s when, in truth, it’s pretty fucking depressing. A song that’s all about a man being desperate enough to “try” a woman he never would have were it not for his state of defeatedness in matters of love. Not to mention it’s a song that’s generic enough to have been used as the background for a British gravy commercial during the heyday of the single. To be more specific, a Bisto Best gravy granule commercial. Trying its hardest to sensualize the food shown before a disembodied hand starts pouring on the nasty gravy, you guessed it, last. Because, as the ballad teaches us, one should always save the “best” for last. The assumption on Williams’ part being that she and her friend-turned-lover will never separate. But that’s almost as naive as her believing that he “chose” her after all these years out of love rather than simply being out of ideas.

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    Genna Rivieccio

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