ReportWire

Tag: unborn child

  • ‘Truly a good mom’: Family mourns Fort Worth woman killed in domestic violence

    [ad_1]

    Tonishea Harris was a fashionista with a unique laugh, always put together and a mother of two young children expecting her third child.

    She hoped to pursue interior design using her skill for organizing, family members said. Tonishea was shot and killed last month in a case of domestic violence. She leaves behind a toddler daughter and son.

    The 36-year-old mother was about four months pregnant with a girl when she was shot Oct. 10 in the 5200 block of Cross Plains Court, in southwest Fort Worth near Benbrook, police have said. She arrived in a private vehicle at Texas Health Harris Methodist Hospital, where she died.

    The father of her children, 21-year-old Joseph Weathered, was arrested and faces a charge of capital murder of multiple people in the deaths of Tonishea Harris and her unborn baby. He’s in the Tarrant County Jail with bond set at $500,000.

    “I called Tonishea, ‘Mama’ when she was a baby,” her father, Antonio Harris, said in an interview with the Star-Telegram. “I told her, ‘I’m gonna teach you how to take care of me.’ And she took care of the world and everybody around her.”

    Antonio Harris with his daughter, Tonishea Harris.
    Antonio Harris with his daughter, Tonishea Harris. Courtesy of Antonio Harris

    Harris said his daughter was the type of person who always paid attention to others, and made sure that everything and everybody was all right around her. “She was just one that brought about the order and made sure that everybody else was enjoying where they were at that time,” he said.

    “I learned what love at first sight was with my daughter. When I saw her, something told me, ‘Man, you have to take care of this for the rest of your life,’” Harris said. “She was the same way — it was instant love for those babies.”

    Harris said his daughter was always prepared, ready for motherhood and nurturing to the fullest. “Her life was wrapped around who they (her children) were — that’s all she wanted, to be a mother,” he said.

    Father and daughter’s last conversation

    Three days before the shooting, on Oct. 7, Tonishea called her father and said, “Daddy, I’m through with him (Joseph).”

    Antonio Harris said this was the first time he heard about problems in their relationship. Tonishea told him she wanted Weathered to sign papers regarding custody of the children.

    Antonio Harris lost his daughter, Tonishea Harris, 36, to suspected domestic violence. Tonishea and her unborn child died from a gunshot wound on Oct. 21. “I will miss her voice and her laugh because she was always joyful,” said Harris.
    Antonio Harris lost his daughter, Tonishea Harris, 36, to suspected domestic violence. Tonishea and her unborn child died from a gunshot wound on Oct. 10. “I will miss her voice and her laugh because she was always joyful,” Antonio Harris said. Amanda McCoy amccoy@star-telegram.com

    “Something just told me like this was a strange conversation, so in my mind I was going to revisit that conversation,” he said.

    At the end of the call, Harris heard his favorite words one last time: “I love you, Daddy.”

    “Daddy was the word that meant everything in the world to me,” he said.

    Coping with loss that’s ‘really unbelievable’

    Antonio Harris and his twin brother were celebrating their birthday when he got a call from Joseph’s father, who told him Tonishea had been shot, he said.

    “I was like, wait a minute — you know how you take a look at the phone, and make sure that you know this person, first of all, and then you’re trying to figure out what in the world did he just say,” he said.

    Antonio Harris, left, talks about the loss of his daughter Tonishea Harris with his brother, Anthony, on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025.
    Antonio Harris, left, talks about the loss of daughter Tonishea Harris with his brother, Anthony, on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025. Amanda McCoy amccoy@star-telegram.com

    At the hospital, a doctor came out and told Harris that they tried to stop the bleeding, but Tonishea lost too much blood and she died. When he heard those words, he was in disbelief.

    “The breeze of reality slowly sinks in, and that’s where I am now. It’s really unbelievable, but I’m a realist,” Harris said. “I take with me from my baby the fact that she was one that created her own path and did what she thought was necessary.”

    “I’m still in a state of, ‘Is this really happening’? And I think everybody probably goes through that stage,” Harris said. “But I’m at rest with who she is, because I can’t do anything about it.”

    Antonio Harris shows a locket with a picture with his daughter, Tonishea Harris, while talking about her on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025. Tonishea Harris, 36, and her unborn child died from a gunshot wound on Oct. 21.
    Antonio Harris shows a locket with a picture with his daughter, Tonishea Harris, while talking about her on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025. Tonishea Harris, 36, and her unborn child died from a gunshot wound on Oct. 10 Amanda McCoy amccoy@star-telegram.com

    Harris said he did not know about the pregnancy until he was at the hospital.

    If he could talk to Joseph, he would tell him, “You had the best thing in the world. I can only imagine your world without it.”

    Tonishea’s two children are now with her mother, Djuana Bullard, Harris said. “My soul responsibility is to ensure the happiness and the joy of those babies in this lifetime,” he said.

    Two families affected by tragedy

    Taviana Weathered, Joseph’s sister, said Tonishea and her children always came to family events looking well put-together and healthy.

    She said Tonishea was the best mom to her babies. “That just makes me tear up because she was truly a good mom, and she really pushed us to be aunties,” Taviana said, with her voice shaking.

    Tonishea Harris
    Tonishea Harris Courtesy of Antonio Harris

    “I love her so much,” Taviana said. “I don’t think this is the way she should be remembered and this is not the way that she should have gone.”

    Taviana never knew what was going on with her because Tonishea was private, she said.

    And as Joseph’s elder sister, she said she hadn’t spoken much to her brother since she moved out of the family home.

    “I love you (Joseph) but I can’t condone anything if you are doing anything that may put you in a bad way,” she said.

    Taviana said it was sad, but she and her sister felt accepted at Tonishea’s funeral. “We were able to be there for our family, which is our niece and nephew. We love you, Miss Tonishea, and it broke our hearts,” she said.

    Antonio Harris at the funeral of his daughter, Tonishea Harris, 36. She was shot on Oct. 10, 2025, while pregnant with her third child.
    Antonio Harris at the funeral of his daughter, Tonishea Harris, 36. She was shot on Oct. 10, 2025, while pregnant with her third child. Courtesy of Antonio Harris

    As the case moves forward, both families are focused on what’s best for the children.

    “I hope the facts come out. That’s all we can say — everyone wants the facts to come out,” Taviana said. “I always pray that he’s the best version of himself … We don’t have any expectations for him outside of being the best man for himself and his kids. I really do stand on that. Even if things go left or right, he should be the best man for those kids, even if it starts today.”

    Urging domestic violence victims to seek help

    In December 2023, Joseph Weathered pleaded guilty to the offense of continuous violence against a family member and was sentenced to three years in prison. In that case in July 2022, Weathered, who was then 18 years old, hit a person he was dating and dragged her across the ground and separately pushed her, causing her to hit a window, according to court records. The victim in that case was not Harris.

    “If you’re in that type of environment, whether you’re the perpetrator or the one who’s the victim, help yourself. Get out of it, because it may lead to death or a prison sentence,” Antonio Harris said.

    “Understand what domestic violence is,” Harris said. “Our problem is that we don’t know when it becomes what that is. It sneaks up on us.”

    Antonio Harris tears up while thinking about his daughter, Tonishea Harris, on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025. Tonishea, 36, and her unborn child died from a gunshot wound on Oct. 10. “I will miss her voice and her laugh because she was always joyful,” said Harris.
    Antonio Harris tears up while thinking about his daughter, Tonishea Harris, 36, on Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025. Tonishea and her unborn child died from a gunshot wound on Oct. 10. “I will miss her voice and her laugh because she was always joyful,” Harris said. Amanda McCoy amccoy@star-telegram.com

    Taviana Weathered said she also dealt with domestic violence in a previous relationship and, “I think it’s best to advocate for yourself.”

    “If you’re not going to stick up for you, stick up for those babies, because they don’t deserve to see their parents go through anything,” she said. “You don’t deserve to be stalked or harassed or anything. You have to stick up for yourself and get away from it.”

    If you’re experiencing domestic abuse or partner violence locally and need help, you can call The Archway’s hotline number at 1-877-701-7233 or call One Safe Place at 817-916-4323.

    This story was originally published November 26, 2025 at 5:15 AM.

    Related Stories from Fort Worth Star-Telegram

    Shambhavi Rimal

    Fort Worth Star-Telegram

    Shambhavi covers crime, law enforcement and other breaking news in Fort Worth and Tarrant County. She graduated from the University of North Texas and previously covered a variety of general assignment topics in West Texas. She grew up in Nepal.

    [ad_2]

    Shambhavi Rimal

    Source link

  • Please Don’t Call My Cervix Incompetent

    Please Don’t Call My Cervix Incompetent

    [ad_1]

    If you haven’t been pregnant, you’d be forgiven for thinking the language of pregnancy is all baby bumps, bundles of joy, and comparisons to variously sized fruits. But in the doctor’s office, it’s a different story. The medical lexicon for moms-to-be can be downright harsh. Case in point: the phrase geriatric pregnancy, which, until recently, was used to refer to anyone pregnant after their 35th birthday.

    This unfortunate term is thought to stem from a concept that dates back to the 1970s, when amniocentesis, a procedure to screen for genetic abnormalities, was becoming routine. That year, the National Institutes of Health identified 35 as the age at which the risk that the test would harm the fetus was roughly equal to the chance of a fetus being born with Down’s syndrome. In the four-plus decades since, advancements in screening technology have made that calculation essentially obsolete—and the idea that your 35th birthday is some sort of cliff-of-no-return absurd. Moms, for their part, always hated the phrase: When Jamila Larson, a 49-year-old mother of two in Hyattsville, Maryland, was called “geriatric” by a midwife in 2011, “it felt like a gut punch,” she told me.

    Though you’ll still hear it occasionally, this term has (thankfully) been on its way out for a while. One reason is changing demographics. As more and more women give birth after turning 35—in 2020, about one in five babies in the United States was born to a mom who had passed that birthday—labeling them as particularly “old” no longer makes sense. Last August, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) announced that its preferred terminology is now “pregnancy at age 35 years or older”—or, even better, that doctors and researchers should simply indicate patients’ age in five-year increments starting from the age of 35.

    This is how progress works: When a medical term outlasts its usefulness, we thank it for its service and move on. So it may surprise you to learn that a litany of dubiously appropriate and medically inaccurate words are still used to describe pregnancy and childbirth. Over the past decade, the field of medicine has acknowledged that language has the power to perpetuate bias among doctors, and worked to scrub its vocabulary of such terms, including schizophrenic (which reduces a person to a stigmatized disease), drug abuser (which reduces a person to their addiction), and sickler (a derogatory term for someone with sickle-cell disease). And yet, doctors continue to describe women’s bodies using charged terms such as hostile uterus, incompetent cervix, and habitual aborter—words that arguably sound worse than the now-shunned geriatric pregnancy. Why do some words evolve, while others insist on haunting moms’ medical charts like ghosts of medicine past?

    [Read: The culture war over ‘pregnant people’]

    Geriatric pregnancy got a spurt of publicity in 2021, when the makers of the fertility and motherhood app Peanut turned their attention to the minefield of pregnancy language. After a video of a distraught woman whose doctor told her she would be “geriatric” if she were to get pregnant garnered attention on the app, Peanut launched a campaign to come up with more neutral-sounding alternatives to existing medical language. That April, they released a glossary of proposed replacements. Still, more attention from the public doesn’t always translate into institutional action: Although 20,000 people have downloaded Peanut’s glossary, there hasn’t been any official movement within medicine to do away with the original terms.

    Across the U.S., doctors are still doling out diagnoses that sound not only archaic, but downright weird. Many of these terms are enshrined in the global catalog of diseases that doctors use to report procedures to insurance companies, known as the ICD-11. The latest version of that glossary, released in 2022, still includes the phrase elderly primigravida, which is basically a synonym for geriatric pregnancy. In 2016, during her second pregnancy, Larson’s notes read “elderly multigravida”—meaning she was both over 35 and had been pregnant before.

    Or consider incompetent cervix, a term that is in both the ACOG dictionary and the ICD-11. Really, it means a pregnant person’s cervix has dilated before the pregnancy is complete, which can lead to premature birth or miscarriage. Meena Khandelwal, an ob-gyn and the director of research for obstetrics and gynecology at Cooper University Health Care in Camden, New Jersey, told me she avoids using the phrase in front of patients (she sometimes uses weak cervix instead, though she isn’t sure that it’s much better). But because incompetent cervix is entrenched in insurance codes and her hospital’s record-keeping system, the phrase is likely to show up in patients’ notes anyway.

    [Read: She got pregnant. His body changed too.]

    To be sure, communicating that the cervix has opened early is crucial; it prompts doctors to monitor the situation using ultrasound, to temporarily sew the cervix closed, or to try another treatment. Providers need to be able to inform one another about patients quickly and clearly; one could argue that is a much more important function of medical jargon than protecting patients’ feelings. The point of language evolution is not to make words so gentle that they become meaningless.

    But in many cases, the existing language is less clear and precise than gentler alternatives. For example, failure to progress—a general term meaning that labor has lasted longer than expected—says nothing about the reason the labor is slow. And calling a patient “geriatric” offers less information than simply stating whether she is in her 30s, 40s, or 50s. The outdated words even have the potential to worsen patient outcomes: a 2018 study on physician bias found that when doctors read stigmatizing language in a patient’s charts, they tended to have more negative attitudes toward the patient and treat their pain less aggressively. Besides, “incompetent” is a strange way to describe whether a cervix is open or closed. It makes it sound like this organ should be worried about its next annual review.

    This odd quality unites many pregnancy-related terms: They make it sound as if the pregnant person, or their body part, could have chosen a different path. When you are told your uterus is being “hostile” or are accused of “failure to progress,” it’s hard not to feel like you’ve somehow failed the assignment. “It sends a message of ‘You could be normal, but you’re not. You’re not working with us here,’” says Kristen Syrett, an associate professor of linguistics at Rutgers University. Even geriatric pregnancy, which doesn’t explicitly apply blame, seems to suggest that a mom-to-be has knowingly brought more risk upon her unborn child by choosing pregnancy “later” in life.

    [Janice Wolly: My first pregnancy]

    Many moms told Peanut that the most devastating label they encountered was habitual aborter. That term usually refers to someone who experiences multiple miscarriages before 20 weeks of pregnancy, a condition that affects 1 to 2 percent of women. (Its cousin is spontaneous abortion, which means such a miscarriage has happened once). From a purely medical perspective, abortion refers to any procedure that terminates a pregnancy, and includes procedures to empty the womb after a miscarriage. But in layman’s terms, it has come to mean a chosen termination of a pregnancy. That, plus the implication that aborting is a bad habit you can’t seem to break, made the term feel particularly inappropriate. “It’s really horrific if you think about it,” says Somi Javaid, an ob-gyn and the founder of the health-care company HerMD, who consulted on the Peanut project.

    This sense of blame becomes more acute when you consider that for many people, reproductive organs are intimately tied to a sense of identity and self-worth—at least compared with, say, the kidneys. In the context of wanting a child, it’s difficult to hear that your uterus is “hostile” or your cervix is “incompetent” without thinking that those terms apply to your whole self. Even physicians can be taken aback: When Javaid was in her 20s, her own doctor deemed her “infertile” in her notes on account of her “old” uterus—meaning that its lining had thinned, a side effect from a fertility medication she was taking. “It felt like being slapped in the face,” she told me. “The impact of the word was not muted by my knowledge at all.”

    Medical terms can, and do, change. But usually the field is responding to larger shifts in the culture, rather than leading the charge. That’s what happened with the phrase pregnant women, which organizations including the ACLU and the CDC have been incrementally phasing out in favor of pregnant people, a term that has sparked vigorous debate about inclusive language and feminism. Last February, ACOG followed suit, announcing that it would “move beyond the exclusive use of gendered language” to better encompass the fact that people of all genders can become pregnant.

    [Helen Lewis: Why I’ll keep saying ‘pregnant women’]

    With geriatric pregnancy, the change was likely more bottom-up, starting with doctors themselves. After all, for many, it was personal: The length and intensity of medical training increases the odds that doctors will have children later than other women—that they will be, in their own language, geriatric moms, says Monica Lypson, a vice dean at Columbia University’s medical school who researches equity and inclusion. Lypson was deemed “geriatric” when she was pregnant at age 36—a choice of words she found “jarring” as a patient.

    Perhaps because incompetent cervix, habitual aborter, and the like refer to conditions that aren’t so common, many providers don’t realize just how hurtful they can be. Ariel Lefkowitz, an internal-medicine physician who cares for patients with pregnancy complications in Toronto, told me that he used to think of failure to progress the same way as he thought of kidney failure or heart failure. He didn’t notice the negative connotations until his wife, Sarah Friedlander, started training to be a birth educator and pointed them out. Now he sees that “it’s a lot more loaded, it’s a lot more personal,” he said.

    That realization pushed him to think harder about the bias embedded in medical language in other fields, such as failure to cope. “We’re so medicalized and supposedly neutral and in this clinical environment,” said Lefkowitz, who in 2021 co-wrote an editorial in the journal Obstetric Medicine on the importance of inclusive language in obstetrics. “It’s very easy to become numb to the ridiculous ways in which we speak.”

    The outdated terms that are currently stuck in the ICD-11, doctors’ offices, and the pages of medical journals may yet change. More doctors are recognizing that how patients perceive their words can have real impacts on health outcomes, says Julia Raney, a primary-care provider for adolescents who has created workshops on using mindful language in clinical settings. Accordingly, medicine is moving toward more person-centered care, including a focus on concrete risks rather than on blame and stereotypes. For instance, in her work with teens, Raney will note that they have a BMI in the 95th percentile rather than refer to them as simply “obese.” The goal is not to shield the patient from reality, but to better define their medical needs. Like ACOG’s move to designate moms as “35–39” or “40–44” rather than “of advanced maternal age,” this has the double benefit of being both less judgmental and more medically precise.

    [Anya E. R. Prince: I tried to keep my pregnancy secret]

    Doctors also have new reasons to be careful with their language. Since April 2021, an “open notes” law has given patients the right to freely and electronically access just about everything their doctors write about them. While the rule is still largely unknown to patients, open notes can make doctors more conscious (and, sometimes, anxious) about how what they write could affect their patients. “I think we’re all aware of that when we write anything,” Steve Lapinsky, an editor in chief of the journal Obstetric Medicine, told me. This increased transparency, he said, might just be the kick medicine needs to accelerate the pace of language change and do away with terms like incompetent cervix once and for all.

    [ad_2]

    Rachel E. Gross

    Source link