It’s unclear who thought the premise of Mafia Mamma would be a “fire” idea, but the fact that Toni Collette co-produced it indicates that she was one of the script’s biggest proponents. And why shouldn’t she be, what with it miraculously making her both forty years old and of Italian descent? But these are the more minimal aspects that pertain to “suspending disbelief” throughout the movie. One of the maximal ones, however, is that Monica Bellucci consented to decimating her culture so willingly. Then again, maybe that’s to be expected from someone who was famously photographed by Bettina Rheims in 1995 with a bottle of ketchup positioned over her pasta. Ultimate sacrilege—until now.
Her participation in Mafia Mamma is particularly affronting because it gives further license to non-Italians who delight in the firm Italian stereotypes that can’t seem to be shaken (least of all with Super Mario Bros. making a comeback thanks to its latest film version). License to view Bellucci’s presence as a “sanction” to keep wielding all the worst clichés about Italians. But surely, one would think, even the most uncultured swine couldn’t take what’s depicted within the frames of Mafia Mamma to heart…right? But to overestimate people is to be inevitably disappointed. Something Kristin (Collette) knows all about after discovering her husband, Paul (Tim Daish), having an affair with her son Domenick’s (Tommy Rodger) guidance counselor, Tracy (Claire Palazzo, possibly cast for her Italian last name). This being among the many shoddy, hastily-developed and ill-conceived plot points…ones that screenwriters Michael J. Feldman and Debbie Jhoon ostensibly cease bothering with altogether after a certain amount of time. Because perhaps they figured something so “hilarious” would “write itself.”
To be sure, the “mafia comedy” is nothing new, with Married to the Mob and Analyze This (or even Some Like It Hot, for that matter) being the “exemplars” of the hijinks that can result when “comedic tones” are taken vis-à-vis the mob. Maybe Mafia Mamma wanted to attempt something similar, adding to a canon that already needed to die, and this surely ought to put the nail in the coffin of the genre. But, of course, it won’t. For there seems to be no desired end to the madness. No courage on anyone’s part to “take a hit out” on tired Italian stereotypes, least of all the mafia one.
In most cases, that’s because it’s too profitable, even for the Italians who sell their own kind down the river to keep perpetuating it (*cough cough* Bellucci). Mafia Mamma seemed to want desperately to cash in on that usual profitiability that comes from bored, middle-aged women romanticizing changing their lives by spontaneously moving to Italy and “getting their groove back.” Like Frances Mayes in Under the Tuscan Sun or Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love—and yes, both books/movies are shamelessly mentioned. In addition to the horrifyingly revealed “tidbit” that Kristin masturbates to Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy. This being what her requisite “bestie,” Jenny (Sophia Nomvete), reminds her of when she has second thoughts about going to Calabria (though most of the shooting was done in Rome) to honor her grandfather at his funeral and help Bianca (Bellucci) settle his affairs (ones that will, naturally, be mafia-related).
But Jenny keeps bringing up Eat Pray Love, changing the title, oh so “groundbreakingly,” to Eat Pray Fuck. Even if it’s Under the Tuscan Sun tropes that Mamma Mafia borrows from more overtly. In point of fact, a key catalyst in Under the Tuscan Sun for Frances to move to Italy was her husband’s infidelity. So, needless to say, hackneyed premises and lazy representations abound—especially when Italian culture is involved. Cue the scene where Kristin is invited by Bianca to help her crush grapes in a barrel using the “foot method.” Bianca is sure to explain, “We have machines to crush grapes now, but this is the classic way.” Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) certainly immortalized that much back in 1956 with the I Love Lucy episode, “Lucy’s Italian Movie.” Which is hardly as offensive as dialogue like Bianca’s as she tells Kristin, “You must stomp on the grapes to release their juices, and you must also take over as the Balbano family boss.” That’s pretty much all it takes to get her to agree, along with the promise of the hard dick she’s been told to seek by Jenny. A man who materializes in the form of Lorenzo (Giulio Corso). But before she can “eat pray fuck” him, Bianca insists she meets with the new don of the Romano family, Carlo (Giuseppe Zeno).
Upon arriving at the restaurant to talk business/territorial restructuring, Kristin’s primary interests quickly become eating (gnocchi) and fucking (Carlo). Because, since it’s apparently been three years since she’s had sex, Kristin starts acting like a crazed nympho with pretty much any man she comes into contact with. Her “whoreish” ways soon serve as a cautionary tale about women daring to seek pleasure when Carlo proceeds to poison her drink of limoncello (because, again, the writers must dig deep to pull out every cliché from the hat, presumably a fedora). An attempt that predictably backfires on Carlo.
Worse still, as part of Bianca’s bid to easily persuade Kristin into taking over, she says that Fabrizio (Eduardo Scarpetta), Kristin’s eager cousin, is not fit because “he’s a hot-head with a terrible temper…just like Sonny.” “Who’s Sonny?” Kristin asks in confusion. Bianca looks at her incredulously and says, “From The Godfather.” As though an actual Italian would be affronted by someone never having seen it. But no, it’s Italian-Americans who would be, who actually still hold up the trilogy as some kind of badge of honor (to confirm, Mario Puzo was Italian-American). Kristin, wanting to understand that badge, later brings up the movie as she thinks about how far she’s sunk on the morality scale of late while bemoaning, “I’m a good person.” Bianca assures, “Of course you are, you make peace.” Kristin balks, “Yeah but at what cost? I feel like Michael Corleone.” “You saw the movie!” “No, I read the Wikipedia summary.” Ha-ha. Mafia Mamma provides so many “laughs” just like that one.
But another real laugh is Bianca telling Kristin, “Just because you’re a mafia boss doesn’t mean you have to be a bad person.” Surely, the words Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) always wanted to hear from Dr. Melfi (Lorraine Bracco). But Kristin seems to believe it as she uses her power for “good” by trafficking in pharmaceuticals (a holdover from the job she ended up getting fired from back in America) to help communities get the medicine they otherwise wouldn’t be able to, what with European laws being much stricter about what kind of shit can be sold to people to put in their body.
So it is that she becomes the supposed “ideal” mob boss with her “male business acumen” and “feminine nurturing.” Alas, to throw a wrench into Kristin’s transformation and the shedding of her “old life,” Paul shows up initially claiming he misses her before her goons torture him into admitting, “After you lost your job, our joint bank account is empty.” Of course, there’s no explanation for why Kristin would be with Paul in the first place, he being a deadbeat musician without even having the courtesy to write jingles to make money like Mark Loring (Jason Bateman) in Juno.
Finally gaining the courage to toss him out for good with the help of Bianca, Kristin has still learned nothing from her mistakes with Paul by deciding to give up everything she’s built for Lorenzo (who, in the end, will be revealed as an undercover agent for the Antimafia Investigation Department—what a shock). The message that gets lost in the shuffle of over-the-top stereotypes most of the time is that Kristin is a woman who has been repressed her whole life, allowing herself to be walked all over by men…from the ones she works for to her now ex-husband. So when she decides to give up her “donna” position in the family to be with Lorenzo, Bianca cautions her, “Never let a man dictate who you are or what you can do.”
This is a “positive” theme that could have been conveyed in so many other ways, even if the writers wanted to stick with this mafia stereotype. If Kristin had been given better character development, a better first act start to make her sympathetic as opposed to a two-dimensional suburban mom who just “falls into” mafia life because it’s “something to do,” maybe some (like a sliver) of Mafia Mamma would be more forgivable. None of it is. Least of all the fact that we’re supposed to believe everyone speaks English in order to accommodate Kristin’s lack of Italian-language knowledge (save to butcher it in the usual way Americans do by saying things like “grahts-ee” instead of grazie).
Then there is the offense to Catherine Hardwicke’s career. Once known for critical darling fare like Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown, Hardwicke adds what feels like a calculated miss to her filmography (in addition to Collette’s). Complete with “riffing” off The Godfather’s famous final shot featuring the door closing on Domenick to indicate Kristin is officially separating her real family from her mafia one. This occurring, obviously, with far less of a “profound effect” on the viewer.
In the first act of the movie, Kristin naively double-checks with Bianca (as they crush grapes for no other reason than to portray a stereotype), “Are we actually in the mafia?” She replies, “Your grandfather preferred to call it the ‘invisible family’?” Sounds like a loose description of Hereditary. A far better “family” narrative starring Collette than what this could ever hope to be. Save for yet another damning, insulting addition to American-made interpretations of Italian culture.
