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Tag: the Super Bowl

  • Man Falsely Blamed for Mass Shooting in Kansas City Sues Congressman Over Tweet

    Man Falsely Blamed for Mass Shooting in Kansas City Sues Congressman Over Tweet

    A man from suburban Kansas City was falsely accused in social media posts of being a mass shooter at the Super Bowl parade for the Kansas City Chiefs last month. And now that man has filed a defamation lawsuit against Rep. Tim Burchett, a Republican from Tennessee, who helped spread the inaccurate claim, according to KCTV.

    Burchett shared a photo of Denton Loudermill on X, with the caption, “One of the Kansas City Chiefs victory parade shooters has been identified as an illegal Alien.”

    Aside from falsely implicating Loudermill in the shooting on Feb. 14, Burchett also called him an “illegal alien,” another statement that simply wasn’t true. The mass shooting killed one person and wounded 22 others, including 11 children. Three people—23-year-old Lyndell Mays, 18-year-old Dominic Miller, and 20-year-old Terry Young—have been charged in the shooting.

    Loudermill was just trying to leave the parade area after the chaos of the shooting and tried to duck under some police tape, according to his lawsuit. Loudermill, who wasn’t charged or cited for anything, was only briefly detained, but photos of him in handcuffs started to circulate online with a sinister narrative.

    Five days after his original tweet, Rep. Burchett deleted it, blaming “incorrect news reports” as the source of his information. But he didn’t retract the claim that Loudermill was one of the shooters.

    “It has come to my attention that in one of my previous posts, one of the shooters was identified as an illegal alien. This was based on multiple, incorrect news reports stating that. I have removed the post,” Burchett tweeted.

    Burchett blamed “news reports,” but there wasn’t a single reputable news outlet that claimed the man in that photo was an illegal alien nor someone who’d been arrested for perpetrating the shooting. It was all bullshit being peddled by far-right X accounts like End Wokeness, an anonymous account popular with X’s owner Elon Musk.

    Screenshot: X

    Burchett appears to have gotten his “news” from X accounts that have no problem with spreading false information that fits with their narrative.

    In fact, many X accounts used photos of Denton Loudermill while falsely claiming he was someone named “Sahil Omar,” a name that’s been used previously by right-wing trolls to insist all mass shooters must be foreign-born. The fictional “Sahile Omar” has been blamed for other crimes, including mass shootings in Las Vegas and Prague, according to the BBC.

    Loudermill’s lawsuit is seeking $75,000 in damages from Burchett, according to KCTV, though it’s not yet clear if he’s going to sue others who helped spread the false claims on social media.

    “The false identification of Plaintiff as an ‘illegal alien’ and ‘shooter’ has caused [Loudermill] in Kansas to receive death threats and to suffer mental distress from having been exposed to public view and more specifically to experience periods of anxiety, agitation, and sleep disruption and such damages are likely to continue into the future,” the lawsuit states, according to KCTV.

    “The acts and conduct of Defendant caused Plaintiff to suffer injuries and actual damages including mental distress, sleeplessness, anxiety, and agitation…as well as emotional suffering, humiliation, embarrassment, insult, and inconvenience.”

    Matt Novak

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  • Usher Marries Girlfriend Jennifer Goicoechea In Vegas After Super Bowl Performance

    Usher Marries Girlfriend Jennifer Goicoechea In Vegas After Super Bowl Performance

    Representatives for Usher confirmed that the the star and longtime girlfriend Jennifer Goicoechea, a senior vice president at Epic Records, tied the knot at the Vegas Weddings chapel after the Super Bowl where Usher headlined the halftime show, with the couple stating that they “look forward to continuing to raise their children together surrounded by love.” What do you think?

    “Hold on, let me see if I placed on prop bet on that.”

    Marshall Bouvet, Subpoena Filer

    “I guess women really dig halftime performers.”

    Ezekiel Barrett, Rock Climbing Guide

    “Lord forgive me, for I have unwittingly lusted over the dripping-wet abs of a man betrothed to another.”

    Regina Cousins, Unemployed

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  • Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?


    Welcome back to the Connected States, the project that involves me living in a van for a year, driving around and telling stories. After going live last week I was absolutely overwhelmed by the positive response. I received so many tips, well-wishes, and offers of help that I haven’t been able to respond to them all yet. It was truly moving,

    When we last left off I was in Iowa City, Iowa, which is not a very creative name for a city, so I moved on. By that point, though I’d left myself very little time. I needed to be in Detroit by 9:30am the next day so I could finally do my TSA Pre-check interview, and Detroit was 490 miles away. I drove until I got very tired, whereupon I pulled into yet another Walmart parking lot and slept for 2.5 hours, and then kept going. My dad had recommended The Burning Room, a book by Michael Connelly, so I downloaded it on Audible and that did a good job of keeping me alert.

    Photo: Brent Rose

    The real reason I was heading to Michigan was to see one of my oldest and best friends get married. David and I go back to 7th grade, but many of the guests would be people we had gone to high school with. It’s still a pretty tight-knit crew, as, for various reasons, many of us had left our small California town for Brooklyn during the last decade, and so we’d formed a sort of “I miss real burritos” support group. Anyway, the wedding would be a couple hours north but first we decided to explore Detroit proper a little. We met up with David’s old roommate Blair who grew up in the area and had since returned, prodigal son style.

    If I had to pick one word to describe Detroit it would be “powder keg,” which is two words, so I would have lost that game. But that’s what it is. There is so much potential energy in that city, and it’s just waiting for something to set it off. It’s also volatile as hell. I’ve never seen a place that had been so obviously fucked by a single industry. Big auto burned these people, and these people are pissed.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    Much of what you see on the news is true. There are rows upon rows of abandoned houses. Some houses—and not just a couple—have been burned to the ground. Everywhere you go you see desperate people. But Detroit is on the cusp of major changes. Real estate is so cheap that a lot of rich, white tech-industry type folks are buying up massive amounts of property, just because it’s cheap and they can. The artists have already moved in, and just like in any other city, once the artists move in they yuppies aren’t far behind.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    And so you see the original Detroiters in a hard spot. They want Detroit to keep its identity and so change is fearsome, but they also realize that what the city needs more than anything is jobs. And so there’s a precarious acceptance of the new wave pushing in. Tech is being welcomed in, as long as it doesn’t overstep its bounds. But it will. It always does. And I don’t know what the aftermath to that will be.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    What I found to be most inspiring, though, is the creative response Detroit has had to all of this change. Take, for example, Tyree Guyton’s Heidelberg Project on the East Side, which has been around for 29 years now. It takes found objects, rubble, and abandoned houses and transforms them into something beautiful and inspiring.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [More from the Heidelberg Project]

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [Gabby in front of the MBAD African Bead Museum]

    The same could be said of MBAD African Bead Museum. Not only does this shop, inside of a highly decorated but otherwise unassuming house, have the most amazing collection of beads I’ve ever seen, but it serves as a conduit for the community. There I spoke with a woman named Gabby, of the Detroit Poetry Society, whose greeting for everyone was “Peace,” a sort of mantra she hoped would come true. She talked of the changes she’s seen, and of the importance of finding common ground among all people, which isn’t so unlike the goal of Connected States.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    The area around the MBAD Museum hosts an incredible array of open-air art, similar to the Heidelberg Project, but this is mostly made by the artist Olayami Dabls, who owns the museum as well. It’s at once breathtaking and heartbreaking.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [Wedding backdrop]

    But Michigan isn’t just Detroit. We left the city for Saginaw, a couple hours north, where my friend Leila, the bride, grew up. I kept my van (Ashley, “The Beast”) parked either at her parents beautiful home, where the wedding took place, or in the hotel parking lot where some other weddings guests were staying. The wedding was a three-day Bangladeshi affair, but I stayed for five. I think I needed the peace and quiet, and I’ll forever be grateful for the hospitality Leila’s family showed me.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [Late night hangs in the van with some of my favorite people in the world.]

    I have to say, taking the van to a wedding is kind of the best. This is the third one I’ve brought it to, and aside from the fact that you don’t have to pay for a potentially expensive hotel room, you can park it pretty much wherever you want and set up camp. It ended up being a sweet spot for after-partying, but it served an even more useful purpose.

    Just before the wedding was set to begin, the sky opened up and the rain came pouring down in buckets. This was just before the groom’s family and friends were supposed to parade to the house and strike a deal to gain entry (a really fun tradition). There were dozens of us standing in a field and getting absolutely soaked. So we piled into the van. Not everyone, of course, but we managed to get 14 people in there, including the groom, who stayed dry for the 15 or so minutes before the storm passed. It was clutch. I even broadcast my first Periscope video from the middle of the chaos.

    Saginaw hosted another first for me. The bride’s family had an old Sea-Doo jet ski in the garage, and we busted it out on the small lake there. We tied a rope to the back of it and I pulled my trusty surfboard out of the trunk, a 5’ 8” Rusty DWART made with Varial foam. Making the transition from prone to standing was extremely tricky. You have to get dragged on your belly fast enough so the board starts planing. Then you wedge your back foot against the traction pad, and slide your front knee up underneath you. Then you need to take the rope with your back hand, so you’re reaching across your body, and use your front hand to stabilize the nose of the board as you pop up.

    It took about six tries before I got it, but once I did, it was unbelievably satisfying. I’ve never gone anywhere near that fast on a surfboard, and the lake was so glassy it was like carving through a mirror. Also, falling really hurts at that speed. I had a good bellyflop dismount and it felt like the entire lake punched me in the gut.

    Leaving Saginaw, I stopped to get an oil change, and then I just sat there for an hour, unsure of which way to go. This was the first time this trip that I could really pick any direction I wanted. I’d originally thought I’d head back through Detroit and spend some time with friends and family in Chicago, but people kept speaking with reverence of the Upper Peninsula (“the UP”) of Michigan. So I put the question to Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. It was time to see if the social experiment part of this project had any legs.

    Within half an hour I had almost 50 responses, most of them saying to go north, citing reasons like they’ve seen Chicago a million times, and they wanted something less explored. I took this all in. I knew there would be better opportunities for tech stories in Detroit and Chicago, but I’d probably be passing through that way in the early fall anyway… Screw it, I’m going north!

    A gentleman named Ben pointed me toward the Traverse City Film Festival, which is Michael Moore’s baby. I got word that the opening night party would be that night, so I quickly reached out to them, said I was with Gizmodo, and could I have press credentials. Five minutes later I was set and driving thataway.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [Top of the Park Place Hotel, with an abomination of a “Manhattan”]

    Nick didn’t live in TC, but he had a friend there named Phil who he linked me up with. Phil recommended I check out the Park Place Hotel which would provide a view of the whole town. It was beautiful up there, but I ordered a Manhattan and it was served on the rocks, so the whole place should probably be burnt to the ground. I did meet a lovely woman named Wendy who was there with her whole family. She’d lived in Traverse City most of her life, and made me feel very welcome.

    From there, Phil advised me to check out a Cider House. I’ll be damned if it wasn’t the best cider I’ve ever had in my life. It was so perfectly balanced and it didn’t have any of that cloying sweetness. The lavender and elderberry were especially good. Really nice and dry. I spoke to Karen who runs and/or owns the place (forgive me for being unsure, but I was drinking cider), who told me all about their organic process. I highly recommend quaffing it out if you can find it.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [These people randomly came up to me and insisted on taking a photo together.]

    From there I found the the Traverse City Film Festival party. An open-air deal that took over two city blocks. It was there that I finally met Phil, who was there with his friends. We gorged on the local foods on offer, which were absolutely amazing. The whole food scene in Traverse City is insane. I’ve never seen a U.S. town so small with so much good grub. Definitely a foodie haven. We spend the rest of the party listening to the lyrical stylings of Rick Chyme, which I really enjoyed.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    [Rick Chyme on the mic]

    It turned out that Phil’s girlfriend Emily is good friends with Karen, so we ended up after-partying in the closed-up pub. The after-after party was in the van, where Phil, Rick, and I ended up lounging as I made maple old fashioneds and sazeracs.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    In the morning, Phil came through and showed me the project he’s been working on, a book for the 50th anniversary of the Super Bowl. The foreword was by Dwight Clark, so I was sold. I flipped through the book and said I’d get one for my dad for Christmas, which is true. You can check it out here. Plug alert over.

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose

    Basically, I couldn’t imagine a better beginning to the social experiment element of this trip. The very first try found me good people, good food, good cider, and good times in a place I wouldn’t have known about otherwise. Truly incredible.

    Today I’ll be continuing north to the Upper Peninsula. Maybe to Pictured Rocks, which I hear is incredible. Giz’s Andrew Liszewski made me promise I’d eat some fudge in Mackinac, and well, a promise is a promise. If you’ve got good people or places or things up north, let me know, would you? I hope to be updating from the road more regularly, so I hope you’ll follow along. You can find more photos from this leg in a gallery at ConnectedStates.com. Thanks for reading.

    -Brent Rose 7.30.15 Traverse City, MI

    Image for article titled Connected States: How the Hell Did I End Up in Michigan?

    Photo: Brent Rose


    Connected States is a new series from Brent Rose in collaboration with Gizmodo about living a truly mobile life. Brent will be traveling the U.S. in a high-tech van, telling stories from the road. New episodes will appear every week on Gizmodo, with more content being released in between. He is currently soliciting ideas for places to go, things to see, and people to talk to. Follow him on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and ConnectedStates.com

    All photos in this entry were taken with a Sony A7s. The video was shot with a GoPro Hero4 Black, and the Instagram shots came from my LG G4.





    Brent Rose

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  • Super Bowl LVIII, Told by AI Deepfakes

    Super Bowl LVIII, Told by AI Deepfakes


    Most Palone singing “America the Bountiful”
    Photo: Midjourney

    Super Bowl XVIII was jam-packed with celebrities, love stories, angry outbursts, and even some football. Many of us watched the Super Bowl on TV with our own two eyes, but Gizmodo set out to learn what the big game would have looked like through the eyes of an AI image generator.

    Gizmodo used Midjourney to create visual representations of some of the Super Bowl’s biggest moments. AI deepfakes are slowly becoming a central component of our society, so we figured we might as well get ahead of the curve, and just make these before someone else does. Some are surprisingly accurate while others are painfully wrong. Maybe in the future, we won’t even need a real Super Bowl. We can just AI deepfake the whole thing.



    Maxwell Zeff

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  • IF Conjures Up a New Teaser for Its Imaginary Friends

    IF Conjures Up a New Teaser for Its Imaginary Friends


    Image: Paramount

    John Krasinski and Paramount aren’t just bringing sound-seeking aliens to the theater this year. In May, the actor is directing (and writing) his first kiddie movie, the Ryan Reynolds-starring IF, which came to the Super Bowl with a new trailer on hand.

    The upcoming film, cheekily introduced here by “Krasinski” himself—definitely not Randall Park—stars Cailey Fleming as Bea, a kid who realizes that she can see imaginary friends, a trait she also shares with her neighbor (Reynolds). As he explains it, there’s a whole secret world of imaginary friends (or IFs), ranging from talking marshmallows on fire to more conventional ones, like a bear (voiced by Lou Gossett Jr.) or Steve Carrell’s big, fluffy purple guy Blue. It eventually falls to the two humans to find new children for IFs, since their original creators have all gotten older and forgotten or abandoned them.

    If you watched Cartoon Network in the 2000s, this is going to be very familiar and likely remind you of Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. And like that show, this is probably going to hit hard with the younger crowd who probably haven’t seen much (or anything) focused on imaginary friends, and in quite this way. For the older crowd… who knows, movies like these live and die on the chemistry and humor. It’s got a sizable cast, which includes reliably funny people like Emily Blunt, Maya Rudolph, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and Bobby Moynihan. It’s easy to imagine a movie with this premise and cast comes together fairly well, right?

    We’ll know for sure when IF comes to theaters May 17.


    Want more io9 news? Check out when to expect the latest Marvel, Star Wars, and Star Trek releases, what’s next for the DC Universe on film and TV, and everything you need to know about the future of Doctor Who.



    Justin Carter

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  • It Looks a Lot Like Taylor Swift Had Two Private Jets for Her Super Bowl Flight

    It Looks a Lot Like Taylor Swift Had Two Private Jets for Her Super Bowl Flight


    Flying from Tokyo, Japan back to the U.S. to get to the Super Bowl and watch her boyfriend Travis Kelce play was very important to pop superstar Taylor Swift—so important that she apparently had a second private jet on standby.

    The existence of a second private jet for Swift, who was in Tokyo giving a series of concerts, was reported on Saturday by FlightRadar24, a global flight tracking service, and aptly named “Backup Quarterback” on its website. Jason Rabinowitz, co-host of FlightRadar24’s AvTalk podcast, added that private jet operator VistaJet had mechanics on standby at Tokyo’s Haneda Airport in case something went wrong.

    “The logistics of flying #TaylorSwift across the planet to a football game is quite a production,” Rabinowitz said in a post on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter. “I’m told @vistajet didn’t just have mechanics at HND [the Haneda Airport code] in case anything broke, it had a whole second jet there on standby. Basically, a private Air Force One.”

    Rabinowitz told Gizmodo he was told about the second jet, a Bombardier Global 6000 with call sign VTJ968, from friends in the private jet industry who have access to the information, but he declined to be more specific. Gizmodo reached out to Swift’s team and VistaJet for comment on the purported second jet but did not receive a response.

    Luckily, there was nothing wrong with the first jet, also a Bombardier Global 6000 with call sign VJT993, which FlightRadar24 named “The Football Era.” But how can we be sure this was Swift’s flight? Ian Petchenik, FlightRadar24’s communications director, told Gizmodo in an email that while they couldn’t confirm whether she boarded the plane, the team had a “high degree of confidence” that this was her flight based on the information they had received.

    VJT993 departed Tokyo at 11:36 p.m. local time and is set to arrive in Los Angeles at 3:27 p.m. local time Saturday, giving her plenty of time to get to Las Vegas for the Super Bowl on Sunday. An average of 6,000 people monitored Swift’s 9-hour flight from Tokyo to Los Angeles on Saturday at any given moment, Petchenik said. In the final hour of the flight, Gizmodo confirmed that were there more than 10,400 people monitoring the flight live.

    As for the “Backup Quarterback,” also known as VTJ968, it appeared to take off in the opposite direction after Swift’s flight took off.

    If a second jet for Swift was indeed on-site in Tokyo, that would take her carbon footprint to an entirely new level. It’s one thing to lend out your private plane to your friends or use it to go see your boyfriend, but it’s another thing entirely to have a second plane fly out just in case the first one breaks and then send it back empty.





    Jody Serrano

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  • Chinese Chess Champ Stripped Of Title After Taking A Dump In A Bathtub

    Chinese Chess Champ Stripped Of Title After Taking A Dump In A Bathtub

    When you accomplish something big, like winning a major tournament, how do you celebrate? Maybe you jump around in excitement, salty rivulets streaming down your face in a rush of emotions. Maybe you pop a bottle of champagne and spray it around like an NFL player after the Super Bowl. Or, if you’re a 48-year-old Xiangqi (Chinese chess) player who just won a major tourney, you could completely shun tradition and take a shit in a hotel bathroom, for celebration’s sake.

    According to reports from Business Insider and Global Times, Yan Chenglong beat an assortment of amateur Xiangqi players on December 17 in the Hainan Province. Stomping his competitors one by one, Chenglong was eventually crowned the “Xiangqi King” (Chinese chess champion) and awarded 100,000 yuan (approximately $14,150 USD) for his triumph. But the next morning, reportedly after a night of partying, staff at the hotel where players were staying said Chenglong defecated in the bathtub. It’s strange and gross, yes, but that’s not where the story ends. Far from it, actually.

    Of course, anal beads might’ve been involved

    After the incident, Chenglong’s victory was also called into question, particularly because of his behavior throughout the competition. As The Independent reports, Chinese social media posts accused him of “clenching and unclenching rhythmically” to share data about the chess board to a faraway computer via anal massaging device, which would then tell him which moves to make on the board. According to Business Insider, the device was allegedly found in the bathtub excrement by a hotel employee.

    Chenglong denied the accusations, though, saying he’d been playing high-level chess for over 40 years and that, on the morning of December 18, he suffered from diarrhea after drinking alcohol. According to Chenglong, he couldn’t make it to the toilet in time and simply opted for the bathtub because…I guess it was right there?

    The Chinese Xiangqi Association, the country’s chess overlords, responded on December 25 to the allegations against Chenglong, explaining that any investigation into his actions yielded little to no provable results.

    “Based on our understanding of the situation, it is currently impossible to prove that Yan engaged in cheating via ‘anal beads’ as speculated on social media,” the CXA said in a statement, according to The Guardian. “Yan consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th, in an act that damaged hotel property, violated public order and good morals, had a negative impact on the competition and the event of Xiangqi, and was of extremely bad character.”

    The governing body stripped Chenglong of his championship belt, forced him to forfeit an undisclosed amount of his earnings, and disqualified him from participating in any Chinese chess competitions for one full year. Oof, now that’s a shitty punishment.

    Read More: YouTubers Put Anal Bead Chess Conspiracy To The Test

    This isn’t the first time anal beads have popped up in a chess cheating scandal. Over here in the States, Grandmaster Hans Niemann was accused of using a rectal insertable to beat World Champion Magnus Carlsen in a shocking upset in September 2022. Niemann has denied the cheating allegations profusely, resulting in a lawsuit between to the two players that was ultimately settled in August 2023. It’s ridiculous, but apparently, people will do anything and everything to get the W.

    Levi Winslow

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  • Rihanna’s Halftime Show Looked Like A Smash Bros. Stage

    Rihanna’s Halftime Show Looked Like A Smash Bros. Stage

    Look, you probably saw the show and noticed it straight anyway regardless, but just in case you didn’t, here are a bunch of people all making the same joke: that Rihanna’s halftime performance at the Super Bowl tonight looked just like a Smash Bros. stage.

    To be fair, it’s not really a joke. More a case of just stating the clearly obvious. All that was missing some some backup dancer getting punched into space.

    In case you want to read more about the performance itself—one of the all-time great Super Bowl halftime shows—The AV Club have some coverage you can check out:

    As a musician, Rihanna’s greatest strength—the thing that most sets her apart from her peers—has always been her catalog. Other artists may be better singers or dancers, but, besides Mariah Carey, no living artist has more number-one hits than Rihanna. It makes sense that Team Rih would try to cram as many of these songs into her 13-minute Super Bowl Halftime Show set as possible—unfortunately, the trip down memory lane came at the expense of other kinds of showmanship.

    Rihanna opened the set high above the field, standing on one of many eye-popping floating stages, powering through her anthemic “Bitch Better Have My Money.” This was easily the best moment of her performance, and the stage stunned visually. Plenty of other artists have recently taken to the sky during their time at the Super Bowl, but none used the space in such a deliberate way. Rih flashed a smirk with all the cockiness we’ve come to expect from someone who’s dubbed herself “Bad Girl Riri”—a welcome reminder of what we’ve missed in the past seven years without a Rihanna album.

    Luke Plunkett

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  • Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being acquainted with a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan, then you know that it is highly inadvisable to say any of the following things.

    2 / 20

    “Stop, you’re destroying my store!”

    “Stop, you’re destroying my store!”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Once Eagles fans have started vandalizing property, it’s best to evacuate to safety.

    3 / 20

    “You can’t park here, this is my living room.”

    “You can’t park here, this is my living room.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Sounds like loser talk.

    “I can DD tonight.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    No need. They’re fine with drinking and driving.

    5 / 20

    “Please stop hitting me.”

    “Please stop hitting me.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    You asked for it now, jabroni!

    6 / 20

    “I bet you can’t turn over my car and set it on fire.”

    “I bet you can’t turn over my car and set it on fire.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    This is exactly how you get your car to be turned over and set on fire.

    “Good game.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Sportsmanship is seen as a sign of weakness in Philadelphia.

    8 / 20

    “Free drinks on the house!”

    “Free drinks on the house!”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    This will not end well.

    9 / 20

    “​It’s amazing to have two Black quarterbacks in the Super Bowl, even if yours is so much worse.”

    “​It’s amazing to have two Black quarterbacks in the Super Bowl, even if yours is so much worse.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Hopefully, they’ll just focus on the racial milestone.

    10 / 20

    “Your secondary doesn’t have the hybrid skillsets required to counter the Chief’s 12 and 13 personnel RPO scheme.”

    “Your secondary doesn’t have the hybrid skillsets required to counter the Chief’s 12 and 13 personnel RPO scheme.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Football analysis that doesn’t center around “grit” and “winning mentality” will surely send any Eagles fan into a rage.

    11 / 20

    “My name is Tom Brady, and I defeated your team at the 2005 Super Bowl.”

    “My name is Tom Brady, and I defeated your team at the 2005 Super Bowl.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    This might understandably make them upset.

    12 / 20

    “No one on the Eagles is good enough to get a concussion.”

    “No one on the Eagles is good enough to get a concussion.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Heavily-concussed Eagles fans would beg to differ.

    13 / 20

    “Flags go up poles all the time, I’m not impressed when you do it.”

    “Flags go up poles all the time, I’m not impressed when you do it.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    It’s best not to disrespect Eagles fans’ ability to climb a pole when their team wins.

    14 / 20

    “Do you murder the other teams’ fans before or after the game?”

    “Do you murder the other teams’ fans before or after the game?”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    They like to keep it a surprise.

    15 / 20

    “Sport is a sociocultural placeholder for the tribalistic catharsis that globalization has taken from us.”

    “Sport is a sociocultural placeholder for the tribalistic catharsis that globalization has taken from us.”

    Image for article titled Things To Never Say To An Eagles Fan

    Well look at la-di-da Mr. Ivy League over here talking about a globalization jawn.

    “Jawn.”

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    No one in Philadelphia ever actually says jawn. It’s all a big conspiracy.

    17 / 20

    “Regardless of who wins, I’m just happy to watch the game with you.”

    “Regardless of who wins, I’m just happy to watch the game with you.”

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    Pussy!

    18 / 20

    “Win or lose, you’ll still be living in Philly when the Super Bowl’s over.”

    “Win or lose, you’ll still be living in Philly when the Super Bowl’s over.”

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    Best not to remind them.

    19 / 20

    You’ve Made It This Far…

    You’ve Made It This Far…

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