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  • Americans Explain Why The U.S. Has Never Been A Racist Country

    Americans Explain Why The U.S. Has Never Been A Racist Country

    During a recent interview, Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley said that America had “never been a racist country.” The Onion asked Americans why our history has always been color-blind, and this is what they said.

    Harold Lucas, Retired

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    “If we’re so racist, you’d think someone would’ve committed a racist act by now.”

    Ashley Moreno, Chef

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    “Thomas Jefferson wrote that ‘all men are created equal’ and never did anything else as far as I know.”

    Bridget Tate, Homemaker

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    “Show me one book that says otherwise. Or several. In list form, please. No particular reason.”

    Paul Gruber, Warehouse Manager

    Paul Gruber, Warehouse Manager

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    “America is not a racist country, but a federation of racist states.”

    Bianca Mir, Truck Driver

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    “Have you ever met a slave? Didn’t think so.”

    Teddy Bryant, Lifeguard

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    “I’ve never faced any discrimination for being 3% Cherokee.”

    Marty Gilman, Sales Associate

    Marty Gilman, Sales Associate

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    “This so-called racist nation is the same one that gave Black Americans their own exclusive water fountains.”

    Patricia Wayne, Personal Chef

    Patricia Wayne, Personal Chef

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    “Why else would Martin Luther King so eloquently say that racism was a fiction and we should get on with our lives?”

    Lily Rhodes, Bank Teller

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    “I think this 90-second PragerU cartoon can explain the concept better than me or anyone else.”

    Susan Combs, Teacher

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    “How many times do I have to cite very selective lines from the Constitution before people understand this?”

    Charles Hampton, Park Ranger

    Charles Hampton, Park Ranger

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    “America has always been a land of opportunity for all different types of land-owning white men.”

    Angelo Townsend, Barista

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    “Does the United States discriminate against non-white people? Sure. But is it racist? Nah, probably not.”

    Rory Bond, Optician

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    “It’s not racism when it’s accidental, which is what slavery, Jim Crow, and every modern hate crime are.”

    Rachel O’Hara, Bartender

    Rachel O’Hara, Bartender

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    “All egalitarian societies begin with mass genocide.”

    Rod Richards, Pilot

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    “My great-grandfather loved his slaves.”

    Bianca Underwood, Meteorologist

    Bianca Underwood, Meteorologist

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    “Most of our mass shooters target very diverse crowds of innocent people.”

    Sarah Fowler, Travel Agent

    Sarah Fowler, Travel Agent

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    “We gave them jobs, didn’t we?”

    You’ve Made It This Far…

    You’ve Made It This Far…

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