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  • The Darkness Surrounding Taylor Swift of Late

    The Darkness Surrounding Taylor Swift of Late

    As the news of Taylor Swift’s three canceled dates in Vienna over an elaborate terrorist plot make the rounds, it seems a general “dark pall” has been cast over the singer of late. It started earlier in the year, with the “conspiracy theory” (a.k.a. totally plausible hypothesis) that every time another female pop star has a chance of making it to number one on the charts, Swift chooses that week to release a new iteration of The Tortured Poets Department. Which is why there are now thirty-plus variants of the album. Yet another reason many people felt that Billie Eilish was shading Swift specifically when she told Billboard, “We live in this day and age where, for some reason, it’s very important to some artists to make all sorts of different vinyl and packaging… which ups the sales and ups the numbers and gets them more money.” The shade was felt whether Eilish intended it or not because everyone knows that Swift is the “queen” of doing this.

    Eilish also remarked, “I can’t even express to you how wasteful it is. It is right in front of our faces and people are just getting away with it left and right…” While Eilish was sure to say “some artists,” it was difficult for many readers, Swifties included, not to automatically think of Taylor’s album release methods. Or tactics, if you prefer. And yes, she weaponized them just in time for Eilish’s release of Hit Me Hard and Soft, her third record. Alas, it was blocked out of the top spot thanks to the three variants of TTPD that Swift unleashed the same day, May 17th. This precise “phenomenon” (and hardly what Chappell Roan would call a “femininomenon”) also happened when Charli XCX released Brat (after which the world was never the same).

    A week after the album might have slid into the top slot on the UK charts, Swift conveniently decided to release six—that’s right, six—TTPD album variants that were exclusive to the UK. The geotargeting on this front felt especially calculated (to use that word Swift hates being called), and totally merited XCX writing a song called “Sympathy is a knife,” suspected to be about Swift specifically because of the lyric, “Don’t wanna see her backstage at my boyfriend’s show/Fingers crossed behind my back, I hope they break up quick.” This being a reference to the brief period when Swift was “canoodling” with The 1975’s Matty Healy, for which XCX’s fiancé, George Daniel, is the drummer. There were other “nods” to being made to feel insecure by Swift throughout the song, including the part of the chorus that goes, “‘Cause I couldn’t even be her if I tried/I’m opposite, I’m on the other side.”

    Charli fans were “moved” enough by the track and its supposed muse to start chanting, “Taylor is dead” at a show of hers in São Paulo on June 22nd. When XCX was informed of the “mantra,” she spoke out on social media, saying, “Can the people who do this please stop. Online or at my shows. It is the opposite of what I want and it disturbs me that anyone would think there is room for this in this community.” So yes, that’s just the first piece of the kind of darkness that’s been following Swift lately, this “varietal” ostensibly of her own making. To be sure, this aspect of said darkness is rooted in her competitive nature and insatiable drive to “succeed”—or, as Lana Del Rey put it earlier this year, “She’s told me so many times that she wants it more than anyone.”

    That much was made clear early on in her career, not just in her willingness to take a bum deal with Big Machine Records, but even in the mention, during an 00s-era interview, of why she decided to play a twelve-string guitar instead of a six-string one. The reason, as she told the interviewer, in the country twang she was then putting on, “I had this one real jerk of a teacher… he goes, ‘There’s no way that you’ll be able to play a twelve-string guitar at your age and your fingers aren’t developed enough and there’s no way you’d be able to play it.’ …So I got that twelve-string guitar and I would play it every day until my fingers bled, and, you know, at first it seemed really hard, and then I just realized that if I put my mind to something, then it was really mind over matter.” This seeming to be her ongoing philosophy for “winning” at the charts. Yet even her continued “domination” in numbers hasn’t fooled “the culture,” with The Guardian publishing an article titled, “Taylor Swift may have captured the charts, but Charli XCX captured the zeitgeist” the same week Swift blocked XCX from the number one spot.

    However, even if the cracks in Swift’s “reign” have started to show this (Brat) summer as the “Gen Z girls”—namely, Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan—take over, there was still The Eras Tour to prove her “crown” undisputed. What with the hordes willing to schlep across the world and pay any price to see her (this also resulting in the “Taylor Swift economy” effect, as the business the tour brought to each stop bolstered the revenue of restaurants, hotels and the like). Including an American stalker of Swift’s, who made threats to both her and her current boyfriend, Travis Kelce. The stalker in question flew all the way to the Gelsenkirchen, Germany show, where he was arrested the day of the July 18th performance. Thus, the dark pall surrounding Swift got a shade darker. Ratcheting up on July 29th during a Taylor Swift-themed yoga class where twenty-five children turned up to participate. Tragically, three of those children, all girls, would not make it out alive after a stabbing rampage by a seventeen-year-old named Axel Rudakubana.

    In the aftermath of the attack, misinformation regarding the “background” (read: ethnicity and origins) of the stabber began to spread rampantly online, prompting ongoing political unrest throughout the UK that was propelled by proponents of the far-right. With Swift in the eye of the storm as the “link” to it all, any theories that the use of her name and music might have been a factor in the targeting of this class seemed to be corroborated by yet another, more ambitious terrorist (two, in fact) attempting to infiltrate her August 8th show in Vienna. The plot was foiled (ergo averting another 2017 Dangerous Woman Tour-level tragedy), with Swift spooked enough to cancel all three dates of her slated Vienna performances.

    This means she’ll be “on break” until August 15th, when her next rash of dates for The Eras Tour have her circling back to London’s Wembley Stadium, meaning that she’ll be in the heart of one of the sources of her recent darkness (apart from Joe Alwyn). And it wouldn’t be surprising if she mentioned the Southport stabbings while onstage (then again, Swift tends to disappoint when it comes to being open about anything “too political”).

    To round out the recent tincture of darkness enveloping the pop star, and almost as though to mock everything Swift and her fanbase represent, M. Night Shyamalan’s Trap was released at the beginning of August. It’s a movie that takes place at a “Taylor Swift-esque concert” where, you guessed it, a trap has been set up to lure and arrest a notorious serial killer (played by Josh Hartnett, in his villain era). Indeed, Shyamalan pitched the premise as: “What if The Silence of The Lambs happened at a Taylor Swift concert?” It doesn’t exactly help the current non-rosy image Swift seems to be embodying/attracting at the moment.

    But perhaps this darkness all goes back to what was initially referenced above: Swift’s obsession with being “ahead.” And while Swift herself loves to talk about karma, perhaps she didn’t consider the way in which she might have tipped the karmic scales by being so consumed with the number one (not, in this case, thirteen) spot. For it doesn’t feel like a cosmic coincidence that all of these horrible things should be happening after her summer of chart-blocking, preventing other women in the game from getting their flowers. All thanks to this thorny rose by the name of Swift.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • The Introvert’s Conundrum When Pitted Against the Extrovert’s Will

    The Introvert’s Conundrum When Pitted Against the Extrovert’s Will


    Taylor Swift did a couple things in the span of one award acceptance on Grammy night that elicited polarized reactions. And, considering that Swift, in her role as America’s sweetheart, rarely does anything to polarize people, it was a big deal. Some may automatically assume that what one is referring to is her blatant disregard for Celine Dion’s presence on the stage as she stood there awkwardly waiting to be acknowledged in some way, any way by the Album of the Year winner when she walked up to collect her bounty (which was in stark contrast to how Miley Cyrus gushed over Mariah Carey during her entire acceptance speech for Best Pop Solo Performance). Instead, Swift acted like a frat boy only paying attention to his “homies” as she hugged those she deemed partly responsible for her album’s success. 

    Obviously, Dion wasn’t someone she put in that category. But Lana Del Rey, clearly, was. Which is why Swift performed another polarizing act in one fell swoop by forcefully taking Del Rey onstage with her. Not just because she contributed vocals to “Snow on the Beach” that were initially undetectable until Swift released yet another version of Midnights (ergo, another money grab), but because, per Swift’s assessment, “I think so many female artists would not be where they are and would not have the inspiration they have if it weren’t for the work that she’s done.” 

    She’s not saying that she’s one of those artists, of course. For, after all, Swift was “on the scene,” fame-wise, years before Del Rey, with no one to look to for inspiration except Shania Twain and Faith Hill (and it shows). But at least she can acknowledge that musicians such as Billie Eilish weren’t exactly trying to emulate her. Or Dion, for that matter. Certainly not Swift, who kept looking behind her while onstage at anyone else she could thank except for Dion, grasping at, “I wanna say thank you to Serban Ghenea, Sam Dew, Soundwave…Lana Del Rey, who is hiding.” Ah yes, as most introverted people who didn’t want to be dragged onto a stage in a very public venue against their will tend to do. Something she made crystal clear with her resisting body language. But Swift seemed to realize at the last second that it might behoove her to take LDR up onstage to prove her female solidarity shtick was genuine, knowing full well that many fans of Del Rey’s were praying (and perhaps foolishly assuming) she would win for Did You Know That There’s A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd, since she couldn’t even manage to snag any of the other awards she was nominated for, namely Best Pop Duo/Group Performance (for her collaboration with Jon Batiste on “Candy Necklace”), Song of the Year (for “A&W”), Best Alternative Music Album and Best Alternative Music Performance. Thus, briefly remembering the way in which Lana fans treat her like Jesus far more than Taylor’s do, she did a “cover your ass” move by bringing Del Rey onstage. To think otherwise, is more than slightly naive. 

    Before having this “calculated” revelation, Swift momentarily forgot she was at the same table as Del Rey so she could embrace Jack Antonoff, the man who seems to be perennially serving as the middle of a female musician sandwich. But especially this female musician sandwich. The camera itself juggled (or “toggled between,” if you prefer) getting reaction shots of both Del Rey and Antonoff when the award was announced. And watching Del Rey herself juggle the emotions of being upset over losing (for there’s no denying that she genuinely believed this would be the album that would finally get recognized) and trying to bounce back quickly so she can be happy for her friend, it’s apparent that the last thing she wants to do is have to grapple with those conflicting emotions in front of not just an entire room of people, but an entire nation of them watching at home. 

    As Antonoff presumes to take the credit for it all by leading the way to the stage, Del Rey tries to laugh off Swift’s attempt at pulling her up there, trying to resist at the same time so that Swift gets the message: no, this isn’t really what I want to do. Swift, being the alpha that she is, doesn’t take no for an answer and continues to drag her until Del Rey stops fighting it so that the optics on the whole awkward situation don’t look so bad. And, well, very uncomfortable. Because it is uncomfortable to have to watch someone doing something they obviously don’t want to. And when introverts are feeling low, they certainly don’t want to have to have those emotions broadcast, literally, to millions of people. Yet, the dichotomy is that, without Swift doing what she did, Del Rey would have stayed under the radar to a whole slew of people in the “flyover states.” The states, in fact, that she likes visiting the most. 

    With this conundrum in mind, there’s a joke about introverts that gets bandied around sometimes, something to the effect of: “Any introvert you ever met was because they were friends with an extrovert.” Del Rey suffered that phenomenon and then some at the 2024 Grammys, enduring the introvert’s dilemma of hating attention but also wanting to be given credit when it’s due. 

    Pulled onto the stage by a woman with nothing but “good intentions,” it was as though Del Rey became the victim of her own spouted lines from 2020, in the wake of her “question for the culture”: “I’m sorry that a couple of the girls I talked to, who were mentioned in that post, have a super different opinion of my insight, especially because we’ve been so close for so long. But it really, again, makes you reach into the depth of your own heart and say, ‘Am I good-intentioned?’ And of course, for me, the answer is always yes.” Naturally, that’s going to be the answer from anyone’s subjective viewpoint, no matter what they’re doing. Even Putin and Netanyahu think what they’re doing is “good-intentioned” when they reach into the depth of their own “hearts” and ask if they are. 

    At another point, Swift gushed of Del Rey, “I think that she’s a legacy artist, a legend in her prime right now. I’m so lucky to know you and to be your friend.” This adding to a vibe that only served to make Del Rey look pitiable and pathetic rather than praiseworthy. As though Swift was putting more of a highlight on what a “loser” Del Rey was for not getting the award rather than how “cool” she is. With Swift being of the Never Been Kissed philosophy, “All you need is for one person to think you’re cool, and you’re in.” But based on some of the winners that night (and throughout the ceremony’s past), does Del Rey really want to be deemed “cool” by the Recording Academy?



    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Taylor Swift Takes Us Back to 2014 With 1989 (Taylor’s Version)

    Taylor Swift Takes Us Back to 2014 With 1989 (Taylor’s Version)

    In 2014, a mere nine years ago, the world seemed simpler. It always does with hindsight. But in 2014’s case, things really were decidedly “safe” in America. Unless you were Eric Garner or Michael Brown or any other Black person subjected to the usual “rigmarole” of being Black in America and coming anywhere near law enforcement. But that’s not really the audience anyone associates with Swift. In fact, a recent study on the makeup of her fanbase revealed the absolutely unshocking statistic that three-fourths of “Swifties” are white. So no, you won’t catch many Black people bumping Swift tunes from their car, though that might “put them in good” with the cops who pull them over. More detailed statistics of the study revealed that “avid fans and U.S. adults agree that 1989 is Swift’s best album. Some 15% of avid fans picked this work, more than any other album.” Even though, for the sheer non-virtue of this album having “Welcome to New York” on it, that really shouldn’t be the case.

    But since Swift moved to New York in March of 2014, during which time she recorded the album, the horrifically schlocky “Welcome to New York” is what she chose to kick the record off with. After all, she had also just agreed to become the NYC Tourism Ambassador that year, offering people such “pearls of wisdom” as, “Having a good latte or a good cup of coffee is really important to me” and “I like how you don’t really have to make a plan. If you want, you can just let the day happen.” In other words, this bitch doesn’t know shit about New York. Accustomed, like many tourists, to the sanitized version of it that suits her “needs” best. And, to that point, of course the song would go on to soundtrack the opening sequence to the classist movie that is 2016’s The Secret Life of Pets. This was after Swift was permitted to perform it during Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, before the ball would drop to signal the arrival of 2015. That was about the only shelf life the song ever had. Because, as far as “New York anthems” go, it still blows ass.

    Perhaps that’s why she never released it as a single. “Blank Space,” on the other hand, is both the second single and the second song on the album. Out of all the re-recordings on the record, this is the one that sounds the most obviously different in terms of Swift’s evolving vocal pitch. Something she can’t always recapture from the original albums. And, by now, the lyric, “Got a long list of ex-lovers” has only become more applicable. Along with, “Cause you know I love the players/And you love the game!” What with Travis Kelce being her (football) game-playing new boo. And yet, if Swift taught her listeners one thing about “how” she’s able to “land” so many many men, it’s: “Boys only want love if it’s torture.” And what could be more torturous than the media scrutiny required of dating Swift, no matter how briefly or casually?

    “Style” is one of Swift’s most “Del Reyian” offerings on 1989, at least lyrically speaking. For yes, lest anyone forget, Del Rey resuscitated James Dean iconography on 2012’s “Blue Jeans” as she lazily sang, “Blue jeans, white shirt/Walked into the room, you know you made my eyes burn/It was like James Dean, for sure.” In Swift’s use of Dean, she sings, “‘Cause you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye/And I got that red lip classic thing that you like/And when we go crashing down, we come back every time/‘Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style.” The song was a barely-veiled dig at her relationship with Harry Styles, including overt references to One Direction, like her urging in the bridge apropos of nothing, “Take me home/Just take me home.” To be blunt: the name of One Direction’s sophomore album is Take Me Home. In the present, Swift and Styles have made nice (at least during award show appearances), with Styles more focused on queerbaiting in the aftermath of his time with Swift.

    Nonetheless, like any worthwhile Swift boyfriend, Styles provided fodder for multiple songs, and “Out of the Woods” was one of them. Certain to incorporate the “Polaroid aesthetic” she had used on the original album cover (now missing from the more lackluster [Taylor’s Version] one), the opening verse features the nostalgically-tinged lyric, “You took a Polaroid of us/Then discovered/The rest of the world was black and white/But we were in screaming color.” And then they were just screaming. Namely, during the snowmobile accident Swift refers to during the bridge: “Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?/Twenty stitches in the hospital room.” As the accompanying Joseph Kahn-directed music video escalates more dramatically with scenes of Swift amid violent nature, echoing, at times, Snow White trying to make her way through the haunted forest. Indeed, Swift’s past relationships could easily create a haunted forest unto themselves.

    Having gone down to one of her “besties’” (Lorde) native land—New Zealand—to shoot the video, Swift was accused at the time of allowing her film crew to violate strict regulations preventing harm to dotterel nests along the beach. But then, of what importance is an endangered species when put in perspective to Swift being able to pursue her wildest artistic dreams? In effect, a video that could have been shot against a green screen and still included the cheeseball concluding title cards, “She lost him. But she found herself. And somehow that was everything.”

    Despite this presentation of a supposed newfound confidence, Swift goes right back to her needy, yearning ways on “All You Had To Do Was Stay” (track five always being, per studies done by Swifties, her most emotional). Continuing a running motif that exists in many of her songs, Swift basically instructs men how simple it is to maintain a relationship: “Hey, all you had to do was stay/Had me in the palm of your hand, then/Why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?” This foreshadows later lyrics about being “locked out” of a man’s heart, including 2022’s “Bejeweled,” during which she bemoans, “Familiarity breeds contempt/Don’t put me in the basement/When I want the penthouse of your heart.” In the end, though, it seems that Swift doesn’t really want anyone’s heart…unless it’s roasting on a spit fueled by her damning song lyrics.

    To the point of often being accused of promiscuity (cue the later-appearing “From the Vault” track that is “Slut!”), the chirpy, uptempo-ness of “All You Had To Do Was Stay” continues on “Shake It Off.” As the first single of 1989, its intent was to get across that there should be no question about Swift’s complete transition from country star to pop star. The video, therefore, features an aura of jubilance and frivolity one wouldn’t usually associate with something directed by Mark Romanek (who, in more artistic days, directed Madonna’s “Rain” and “Bedtime Story” and Fiona Apple’s “Criminal”). Swift also harkens back to 2010 by dressing in Black Swan (a.k.a. Swan Lake) ballerina attire, among many other costume changes throughout the video that often looks like a reworked Gap commercial.

    Despite the occasional shade for her relationship-flitting (though nothing compared to what Britney Spears had to endure), Swift’s tendency to focus on one man and/or failed relationship with each album paints her as more of a serial monogamist (à la Jennifer Lopez) than a ho. And on 1989, that focus remains attuned to Harry Styles with “I Wish You Would.” A song that explores the additional pain of losing a friendship when you lose a romance. Yearning to still be able to talk to that person and tell them the things you once would have eagerly, Swift depicts a John Hughes-esque emotional landscape when she sings, “I wish you would come back/Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I/Wish you knew that I’d never forget you as long as I live and I/Wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good/I wish you would/I wish we could go back/And remember what we were fighting for and I/Wish you knew that I miss you too much to be mad anymore…”

    Here, too, one is reminded of the influence Swift so clearly had on Olivia Rodrigo, who evokes similar emotions of bereftness stemmed from love lost on songs like “happier” and “love is embarrassing.” In the latter song, “I stayed in bed for like a week/When you said space is what you need” mirrors Taylor on “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” when she sings, “‘Cause like/We hadn’t seen each other in a month/When you said you needed space…what?” Unfortunately, the “feelings of warmth” Rodrigo once had for Swift seem to have cooled as of 2023, with many speculating that Guts’ “vampire” is really about the red-lipped “mentor” herself. In which case, “Bad Blood” applies to yet another fellow female pop star apart from Katy Perry this year. As the fourth single from 1989, it can’t be emphasized enough he chokehold this song and its video had on “the culture” in 2015. Complete with endless dissections of Taylor and her “squad,” which, per the video, consisted of, among others, Selena Gomez, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne, Karlie Kloss, Lily Aldridge and, as though to add “which one of these is not like the others?” cachet, Lena Dunham. It was Gomez who played Swift’s betraying rival—ironic, to be sure, considering their close-knit friendship.

    Although many assumed, in the moment, that it was about another wrong-doing man, the truth about how Perry inspired it came out eventually. And, for like, the dumbest reason ever: she “poached” some of Swift’s backup dancers. Specifically, three of them. But then Swift went and blew the whole thing out of proportion by telling Rolling Stone in 2014, “She did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business… She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational—you would not believe how much I hate conflict.” Said the woman who constantly courts it with her music. Ergo sarcastically singing on “End Game,” “I swear I don’t love the drama/It loves me.” And then there was that admission to more than slightly getting off on drama via the opening lyrics to “The Archer”: “Combat, I’m ready for combat/I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?” But what does one expect from a Sagittarius (hence, referencing “the archer” associated with that zodiac sign).

    With Rodrigo taking up the mantle on female friendship gone wrong diss tracks (at least according to conspiracy theorists), “vampire” is the “Bad Blood” of 2023…until Swift came along to reassert her dominance on knowing how to dig the knife into a female rival. Which brings us to the very glaring fact that since about three-fourths of Swift’s songs are about relationships/breakups, it doesn’t leave much room for her to discuss topics like female solidarity—despite characterizing herself as a feminist. But it’s plain to see Swift would choose dick over a friend any day of the week. Shit, for the inspiration factor alone.

    The kind of inspiration that also prompted “the muse” to give Taylor “Wildest Dreams.” Yet another overt nod to the end of her romance with Styles, Swift urges, “Say you’ll remember me/Standin’ in a nice dress/Starin’ at the sunset, babe/Red lips and rosy cheeks/Say you’ll see me again/Even if it’s just in your/Wildest dreams, ah, ha.” To underscore the bittersweetness of it all, Swift opted to set the narrative, of all places, in 1950s Africa. More to the point, in the white version of 1950s Africa. Indeed, the video (once again directed by Joseph Khan) was criticized for its glorification of white colonialism. And yes, it’s a bit odd that, of all the premises to choose, Swift opted for the faux 1950s movie of her video to be set in Africa. Even if she felt it was paramount to getting across the point that being on an isolated film set would invariably lead to a romance.

    And speaking of women who love to glorify the oppressive mid-twentieth century, more echoes of Lana Del Rey appear in this song, with “Wildest Dreams” also coming across like an unwitting companion piece to “Out of the Woods.” At the time, Billboard’s Jem Aswad wrote of the track, “Surprisingly, the famous figure who gets the most elaborate attention is Lana Del Rey: Swift flat-out mimics her on ‘Wildest Dreams,’ flitting between a fluttery soprano and deadpan alto, flipping lyrics so Lana—’His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room’—that it’s hard to tell if the song is homage or parody.” Perhaps somewhere in between.

    But Swift goes back to her “true” self on “How You Get The Girl,” which is very reminiscent of “All You Had To Do Was Stay.” That is, with regard to giving a man instructions on how to “catch a woman and keep a woman.” As far as Swift is concerned, that entails relentlessly pursuing said woman even after a breakup (proving she saw one too many early 00s rom-coms promoting a stalker-y “edge” for a man). Per Swift, it’s simple as showing up on her doorstep and saying, “I want you for worse or for better/I would wait forever and ever/Broke your heart, I’ll put it back together…” And, voila, “that’s how it works/That’s how you get the girl, girl.” Or, as Rodrigo puts it from a more openly sadistic view on “get him back!” (“I wanna break his heart, stitch it right back up”).

    Apparently, whatever he did worked because on “This Love,” Swift is talking about their togetherness again, even it still feels tenuous. Cyclical (even if viciously so). And, once again, she’s all about using the word “mark” to describe her love, a word decidedly territorial and possessive. Nonetheless, she uses it as she declares, “This love is good, this love is bad/This love is alive back from the dead [a.k.a. “We never go out of style”], oh-oh, oh/These hands had to let it go free, and/This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh/This love left a permanent mark/This love is glowing in the dark, oh-oh, oh.” Other notable times Swift uses “mark” to delineate a sort of scar from one of her relationships includes, “There is an indentation in the shape of you/Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo” from Reputation’s “Dress” and “Steppin’ on the last train/Marked me like a bloodstain” from Folklore’s “Cardigan.” That last line incorporating her simultaneous love of “marks” and “stains” to illustrate what so-called love does to her when it’s over. The “staining” will appear later on 1989, with, appropriately, “Clean”—when she sings, “You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore.”

    But before “Clean” is the Reputation-y “I Know Places.” This before the “I know a place” meme that would offer up such isms as, “Girls be like, ‘I know a place’ and then take you to the friendzone” or Girls be like, ‘I know a place’ and then take you back to the date and time you lied.” In Swift’s case though, she knows a place where she and her latest love won’t be hounded by the paparazzi. While it might have applied to Styles then, it was as though she were foreshadowing how much she would have to defend the secrecy of her relationship with Joe Alwyn in its early days (perhaps the reason why the sound gives off such a Reputation vibe long before Reputation came out). In term of loathing the paparazzi chase she has to endure as part of the price for her fame, this is very much Taylor’s version (ha) of Lana’s “13 Beaches,” during which she rehashes the celebrity problem (an oxymoron, to be sure) of never having a moment to oneself in public via the opening lines, “It took thirteen beaches/To find one empty/But finally it’s mine.” As for Taylor, she assures her camera shy love, “Baby, I know places we won’t be found/And they’ll be chasing their tails tryin’ to track us down/‘Cause I, I know places we can hide/I know places.” If only Britney had known a place she could hide during the peak of her scrutiny, too.

    Alas, her knowing a place doesn’t really matter in the end, as “Clean” recounts, “The drought was the very worst, ah-ah, ah-ah/When the flowers that we’d grown together died of thirst.” And if the sound of “Clean” sounds the most differentiated from the rest of 1989, that might have something to do with Imogen Heap co-producing. Perhaps having her on board for this song prompted Swift to lend the track its “edgy” metaphor of a relationship being like a drug you have to wean yourself off of in order to get “clean.” That’s right, Taylor is saying what Kesha already did in 2010: “Your love is my drug.” But drug addictions can be kicked if you really want it. And that’s what Taylor aims to prove, coming out the other side and into “Wonderland.” Not, it would seem, a reference to John Mayer, but rather, the more classic association: Alice in. Marking the beginning of the deluxe edition tracks on the original 1989, “Wonderland” is yet another ditty that ruminates on a toxic relationship that felt so good (read: the dick was good…enough) when it was happening. Yet another track co-produced by Max Martin and Shellback, the early flickers of Reputation are also present on this song as Swift reflects, “We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it/And we pretended it could last forever (eh, eh)…/And life was never worse, but never better (eh, eh).” So it is that Swift manages to paraphrase Charles Dickens (“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”) in her own way. the repeated “eh, ehs” also channel both Rihanna on “Umbrella” and Lady Gaga on “Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say).”

    The mood slows down on “You Are In Love,” a song that has become even more retroactively cringeworthy with time. For, in case anyone forgot, Swift wrote the song about Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham, who were dating at the time. Obviously, Lana Del Rey’s “Margaret,” about Antonoffs relationship with Margaret Qualley is a more tenable slow jam. In any event, as Swift said told Jimmy Kimmel, “I wrote it with my friend Jack Antonoff who’s dating my friend Lena [Dunham]. Jack sent me this song, it was just an instrumental track he was working on and immediately I knew the song it needed to be. And I wrote it as a kind of commentary on what their relationship has been like. So it’s actually me looking and going and ‘this happened and that happened then that happened’ and that’s how you knew, ‘You are in love.’” Evidently, though, not anymore. And it’s even more embarrassing that Dunham tweeted at the time, “My someday wedding song, as you know.” But that would have been weird considering she got married to Luis Felber.

    Swift does a sonic about-face again on “New Romantics,” with lyrics that show Swift at her most Kesha as she belts declarations about being young and bored (as Kesha said on “Blow,” “We’re young and we’re bored”). Then there is talk of the national anthem, which again borrows from Del Reyian iconography (who says “money is the anthem of success” and “tell me I’m your national anthem”) as Swift sings, “Baby, we’re the new romantics, come on, come along with me/Heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly.”

    And yet, what Swift sings most proudly of all on 1989 (Taylor’s Version) is “Slut!,” which commences the From the Vault portion of the record. And with the phrase “flamingo pink” starting the lyrics, one can hear still more Del Reyian flair, as it parallels 2015’s “Music To Watch Boys To” when Lana chose to commence her song with the phrase, “Pink flamingos.” The fact that Swift held back on releasing a song like “Slut!” in 2014 is perhaps the most telling of how times have changed. Swift seems less afraid now of getting on the already well-trodden bandwagon of calling out the double standard for women’s “dating practices” (particularly in the music industry), whereas, before, she appeared nervous about losing red state fans if she spoke her “boilerplate liberal” mind. Like “Shake It Off,” “Slut!” embraces her reputation as a woman who “collects” men. But Swift claims the flak is worth it because it’s all part of her necessary journey toward finding “the one” (or “the 1”). As she says in the chorus, “But if I’m all dressed up/They might as well be lookin’ at us/And if they call me a slut/You know it might be worth it for once/And if I’m gonna be drunk, I might as well be drunk in love.” A phrase, to be sure, that has extremely Beyoncé connotations, especially as “Drunk In Love” had been released the year before.

    As for keeping it off the album originally, Swift had a very Lana Del Rey reason for it: “I always saw 1989 as a New York album, but this song, to me, was always California, and maybe that was another reason it didn’t make the cut, because sometimes, thematically, I just had these little weird rules in my head.” However, many rules still apply. Such as constantly carrying on about an ex. With that in mind, like “All You Had To Do Was Stay,” “Say Don’t Go” exhibits the many abandonment issues Swift appeared to be having circa 2012-2015. And that much is palpable in the way she urges, “Say, ‘Don’t go’/I would stay forever if you say, ‘Don’t go.’” How very Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats when she tells Bill (Michael Paré), “I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you.” Such is the foolishness that women can display sometimes.

    Even Selena Gomez, who had her fair share of back-and-forthing during her relationship with Justin Bieber. But before Gomez sang on a track called “We Don’t Talk Anymore,” Swift had penned “Now That We Don’t Talk.” Arguably the song most worthy of being characterized as “influenced by 1980s synthpop,” the slow build at the beginning feels reminiscent of Thompson Twins. So perhaps it was worth the wait, as Swift stated that the reason it was left behind in the first place was because “we couldn’t get the production right at the time.” Yet another dig at Styles, Swift brings her feistiest shade yet with the lines, “I don’t have to pretend I like acid rock/Or that I’d like to be on a mega yacht/With important men who think important thoughts/Guess maybe I am better off now that we don’t talk.”

    The same story about to be told on the following track—where Swift again lets her Lana Del Rey freak flag fly. Because, needless to say, “Suburban Legends” is a title that could have easily been on Ultraviolence. And, funnily enough, Del Rey was just featured on Holly Macve’s “Suburban House.” As for the sonic tone and the intonation of Swift’s voice, it immediately reminds one of Midnights’ “Mastermind.” She begins the song with the line, “You had people who called you on unmarked numbers.” For, just as things can be marked, so, too, can they be unmarked. And yeah, it’s a weird way to phrase it when referring to what amounts to a burner phone. Elsewhere, she seems to be mimicking Kesha yet again when she says, “Tick-tock on the clock,” adding, “I pace down your block/I broke my own heart ’cause you were too polite to do it/Waves crash on the shore, I dash to the door/You don’t knock anymore and my whole life’s ruined.” Not really though, seeing as how she did just become a billionaire. And not even by needing to create a beauty empire like Rihanna, but actually from her music and tour sales.

    For those asking “Is It Over Now?,” well, it depends on what iteration of 1989 (Taylor’s Version) you’ve purchased. If it’s the “standard” one, it is over now with “Is It Over Now?” But with the deluxe (that’s right, now there are additional deluxe songs on top of the original three deluxe songs), there’s the superior version of “Bad Blood” featuring Kendrick Lamar. While the “tangerine edition” offers, instead, “Sweeter Than Fiction,” written for the 2013 movie One Chance and awash in the tone of a Powerful Scene From An 80s Movie. Because, as most are aware, Swift is nothing if not a deft capitalist. Either way, “Is It Over Now?” serves up major M83 vibes—for this was the era when “Midnight City” was playing everywhere (even though it had come out in 2011). At a certain moment, the way she shouts, “Is it over now?” sounds just like “Are we out of the woods?” (indeed, the singer stated, “I always saw this song as sort of a sister to ‘Out of the Woods’”). Swift, like her fans, probably doesn’t want it to be. Yet, as her erstwhile enemy, Katy Perry, said, it’s “never really over.” Least of all when it comes to Swift, who shits out new releases with more regularity than any prune eater.

    While 2014 might have been more open to casual mentions of wanting to commit suicide (i.e., Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin’ Off of very tall somethings) over a relationship’s end, the present generation doesn’t take too kindly to such things. Nor do they, really, to Swift’s brand of “ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” But that doesn’t mean Swift can’t and won’t endlessly appeal to her OG fans with the content of this record. And yes, always one for being hyper-sensitive to dates, Swift’s re-release of 1989 arrived on the same day—October 27th—that it did back in 2014. Only that week, there was nothing nearly as earth-shattering going on as the current war (though no one wants to call it that) between Israel and Palestine. This narrative overshadowing (only somewhat, sadly) Swift’s newly-released version of the album.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • “Seemingly Ranch” Taps Into Something Larger: Stale Americana, Mistrust In All Things and Gross U.S. Eating Habits

    “Seemingly Ranch” Taps Into Something Larger: Stale Americana, Mistrust In All Things and Gross U.S. Eating Habits

    The inherent mistrust of our collective society was boiled down to two keywords in a caption on September 25, 2023: “seemingly ranch.” The off-handed comment by one of many die-hard Swifties was made via what will always be called Twitter, through the account, @tswifterastour. Like many accounts, @tswifterastour is run by a fan who takes it upon themself to provide regular updates on the various goings-on (both personal and professional) in Swift’s life. The latest being her apparent transition into the cheerleader she derided on “You Belong With Me” by showing up to Kansas City Chiefs football games to support her current flame, Travis Kelce. In the week since the post went up, Swift has already attended another game (this time with her requisite “squad,” as though to harken us back to her “Bad Blood” era in time for the 1989 [Taylor’s Version] release at the end of October). But it didn’t offer any viral moment on par with what @tswifterastour did by simply writing a “speculative” caption. 

    A caption that, in fact, speaks to the self-imposed role of “sleuth” that every internet and true crime junkie has taken on for themselves in the past several years. This stemming from the rightful sense of suspicion that has arisen over the decades of lies and assorted “massaged truths” presented by some of the world’s most “reputable” institutions, not least among them being the U.S. government. And while, “obviously,” the white substance on Swift’s grossly-presented plate wasn’t cum, for fuck’s sake, the use of “seemingly” made the ranch come across as though it could be something else (as some outlets have posited). Even some kind of coded message from Swift herself, revered by fans for Easter egg-laying as much as anything. Alas, in a time where everything is questioned (no matter how “self-evident” it might have once been), @tswifterastour’s caption not only makes all the sense in the world, but is a reflection of the present, that’s right, era. That is to say, questioning everything we see as digital manipulation not only ramps up, but becomes more sophisticated thanks to AI.

    One thing, however, that has remained “evergreen” in most eras since Adam Smith fucked us all over is the instant swooping in of various corporations (this time, condiment brands) to capitalize on the sudden newfound interest in a product. In this scenario, ranch (which is unfortunate for other condiments if, in reality, it wasn’t ranch at all). From Heinz to Hidden Valley (the OG creator of the dressing), big business has all at once seen the “power of Swifties” yet again. This time in a far more profitable way than Ticketmaster did last year amid the Eras Tour presale fiasco. Even McDonald’s has gotten in on the “craze” with ad copy that reads, “Seemingly Ranch, Definitely McNuggets.” After all, Taylor is the greatest representation of the celebrity-industrial complex since Britney Spears (who has proven she still has quite an effect on product sales if her recent ability to save a fledgling prop shop is any indication). What’s more, businesses are likely relishing (no condiment pun intended) how the word “seemingly” makes it even easier to get away with selling what amounts to artificial food. It’s almost tantamount to the very specific verbiage on beauty labels that say things like, “May reduce dark circles.” Not necessarily, though. Only seemingly. The word is the perfect “asterisk” to defend against any legal blowback. After all, the Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “appearing to be something, especially when it is not true.” That couldn’t describe America itself any better: appearing to be a beacon of freedom when it is anything but. 

    Which brings us to how “Miss Americana” herself is falling even more into that title as she becomes a fried chicken-eating football proponent who dresses in what looks like the Hooters uniform for a cameo at the game. Specifically, the game where she was eating seemingly ranch. All of this ultimately fortifying what can be called “quintessentially American” propaganda. And, unlike Swift’s one-time collaborator, Lana Del Rey, she isn’t dredging up Americana tropes of the 50s and 60s as a larger statement on decay, but rather, reinforcing what Republicans would call “good old-fashioned American values.” The image of a white blonde girl going to support her white football player boyfriend at the “big game” has summed up that cliche for centuries. 

    And then there is the proud display of the nastiest-looking plate to consider. Featuring a piece of fried chicken that’s shaped like the turd emoji, positioned near two foul “plops” of her condiments of choice. Clearly, no one thought food styling might be important for any and all images of Swift at this event. And why would they? Americans really don’t care about how things look or taste; they just want to shove some kind of slop into their mouth and call it “nourishment.” Ranch certainly fits that bill. And it’s not surprising that 1) Hidden Valley Ranch is owned by “renowned” bleach purveyor Clorox and 2) ranch would go on to surpass Italian dressing as “America’s favorite” in 1992. After all, why would Americans want anything so natural (minus the corn syrup, of course) and simple as the contents of that style of dressing? 

    As Swift taps into “American dreams” by way of Abercrombie visions of America (side note: Taylor did model for Abercrombie in 2003, a year she calls “unbearable” [seemingly for the fashion choices] on Midnights’ “Paris”), the enthusiastic reaction to her “football/ranch dressing era” is on par with the reason conservative voters got on board with the “Make America Great Again” slogan. These are the “good, clean” images people, seemingly, want to see. Like Jenna Rink (Jennifer Garner) in 13 Going On 30 conjuring up yearbook-inspired photos for her magazine’s redesign and announcing of the “clean-cut” images, “I wanna see my best friend’s big sister, and the girls from the soccer team, my next-door neighbor. Real women who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are… We need to remember what used to be good.” And what used to be “good” was always the football player/cheerleader trope. As tried-and-true as mocking a bald woman. Both Swift and the NFL are catering to this old-hat method for their separate reasons—the commentary on “foodstuffs” in the U.S. just happened to be an added bonus for those on the outside looking in at what Americans willingly choose to consume. Not to mention an added bonus for corporations banking (literally) on how Americans don’t question anything they put into their mouth. They honestly can’t afford to. And hey, since all-American, relatable Swift is such a “seeming” fan of ranch and fried chicken, how bad can it be?

    Yet no one increasing their ranch consumption wants to acknowledge that while they’ll likely notice signs of it on (and inside) their body, Swift will continue to stave off any traces of unhealthy diet habits by frequenting Body by Simone classes in New York. Such is the benefit of peddling “Americana” while being able to pay to erase its effects on you personally. All under the pretense of being just another “relatable queen.”

    But newsflash: there is nothing relatable about the football player/cheerleader (or cheerleader-adjacent) cliche. It only continues to endure precisely because, sadly, people still find it aspirational. Indeed, as Swift has confirmed in many of her lyrics, high school never really ends, having a tendency to, at the bare minimum, rear its ugly head repeatedly in the not-so-coded language of pop culture. And yeah, ranch feels like code for Kelce’s cum in this case, too.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • “Snow on the Beach,” Climate Change Child’s Play, Doesn’t Provide the Best Simile For Evoking the “Unusual” Phenomenon of Falling in Requited Love

    “Snow on the Beach,” Climate Change Child’s Play, Doesn’t Provide the Best Simile For Evoking the “Unusual” Phenomenon of Falling in Requited Love

    Even when “Snow on the Beach” was “first” released on the first iteration of Taylor Swift’s Midnights, “all the way back” in October of 2022, it was already a stretch to liken something “weird” (i.e., falling in requited love with someone) to snow falling on the beach. Because if the past several years should have taught people—even those in a protective bubble like Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey—anything, it’s that formerly “absurd” weather phenomena are now to be the norm (along with arbitrarily unleashed novel viruses). Nay, they are the norm. And, although some wouldn’t expect it, it is, in fact, rising temperatures that can eventually result in extremely cold weather scenarios. More specifically, “Ice Age” weather scenarios.

    Take, for example, the “cold blob” of water that has come to roost in the area south of Greenland. Its origins are a result of melting glaciers—melting ever more rapidly as we keep ordering our useless shit from the internet. And yet, despite the scalding temperatures that are visiting Earth at present, the effect those temperatures have on “water blobs” like the one south of Greenland influence the flow of the Gulf Stream, which is responsible for “ferrying” warm water to the north. If that flow is compromised enough, the litany of consequences could include, but are not limited to, a steep drop in temperatures throughout Europe, rising sea levels on the East Coast and more ferocious, unpredictable hurricanes. And that’s just on the Atlantic side of things. The Pacific has its own barrage of ticking time bombs.

    The bottom line, of course, is that seeing snow on the beach would hardly be “surprising” or “unusual” in an Ice Age kind of setting. Or just a post-climate apocalypse one. A “setting” that Swift herself is arguably more responsible for than Del Rey, with the former being an avid private jet user and the latter being just a garden-variety lover of casual joy riding in her car (#justride). Nonetheless, they relish singing, in “angelic” voices on the newest edition of the song (featuring “More Lana”) from Midnights (The Til Dawn Edition), “Are we falling like snow at the beach/Weird but fuckin’ beautiful?” To be clear, it’s neither that weird nor is it especially “beautiful,” so much as utterly unsettling and chilling (no pun intended).

    Yet the eeriness of such a sight is taken as an opportunity for Swift and Del Rey to try their hand at some overly wistful and romantic Jane Austen shit. Austen, however, gets a pass for being so maudlin about falling in love because she lived in an era where climate change was nary a thought in one’s mind (despite the fact that she witnessed the height of the British Industrial Revolution). She could afford to be “chimerical.” Technically, so can Swift and Del Rey, who comprise the echelons of wealth that will be able to, in some form or other, shield themselves from the climate change fallout (perhaps with an actual fallout shelter).

    With Del Rey being given the opportunity on the new version of “Snow on the Beach” to sing a full verse, she croons, “This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen/I searched ‘aurora borealis green.’” This, too, brings up the fact that even the Northern Lights aren’t immune to the taint of climate change either. Like the stars in the sky dimming as a result of light pollution, aurora borealis will suffer from its own dimming—but, in this case, due to alterations in cloud formations that will inevitably obscure the brilliance of the lights. So yes, Del Rey will actually need to search on a screen for the kind of erstwhile “aurora borealis green” she’s looking for.

    Barring climate change as a reason for snow on the beach, there’s also the consideration of how many beaches already do offer up snowy tableaus regularly. For example, Kings Beach in Tahoe, Chatham Lighthouse Beach in Cape Cod, Unstad Beach on Norway’s Lofoten Islands (where you can see aurora borealis), Sopot Beach in Sopot, Poland and Loch Morlich Beach in the Scottish Highlands. Then you have the beach that made snow on the beach truly famous: the one in Montauk where a large portion of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind takes place. And perhaps Swift got her inspiration from this very movie, what with Joel and Clementine starting to fall back in love on the now snow-dappled beach they initially met on.

    And yet, snow is just as liable to become part of “the new normal” (that hideous phrase people like to use to “normalize” the long-forewarned effects of capitalism) in places perennially associated with “nothing but sunshine.” Case in point, one beach that wasn’t accustomed to getting snow until recent years is Torre Lapillo in Puglia. The unlikely snowfall that occurred there in 2017 dredged up a five-hundred-year-old prophecy from Matteo Tafuri that stated two days of snowfall in Salento would be part of heralding the apocalypse. The snow came again in 2019. So surely, we’re that much closer. If not to the kind of apocalypse that signals a bang so much as a whimper, then at least the kind that standardizes snow on the beach to a point where Tay and LDR’s simile becomes increasingly less meaningful.

    As for Wallace S. Broecker, the preeminent scientist who made the term “global warming” take off in the 70s (before Dick Cheney decided that sounded too “icky” and made “climate change” the phrase instead), he’s likely not hearing the song from beyond the grave with much glee. After all, he had urged the world, before his death in 2019, to take far more drastic measures to avoid the “many more surprises in the greenhouse” to come. Trying to make snow on the beach seem like something “abnormal” while we’re already living in a climate change scenario certainly isn’t going to help with that.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • No Sleep (Til Every Last Dollar Is Extracted): Taylor Swift Releases Midnights: The Til Dawn Edition—Oh, and Midnights: The Late Night Edition

    No Sleep (Til Every Last Dollar Is Extracted): Taylor Swift Releases Midnights: The Til Dawn Edition—Oh, and Midnights: The Late Night Edition

    For those who had gotten their rocks off on making various memes about Lana Del Rey’s barely detectable presence on what was supposed to be a “blockbuster” duet from Midnights called “Snow on the Beach,” the Til Dawn Edition of the album is sure to please. And yet, its addendum of three songs (one of which, “Hits Different,” was already released on an erstwhile “exclusive” Target version of the CD) hardly feels worth the fanfare of putting out yet another version of the record. Especially when Taylor Swift could have just released the new “Snow on the Beach” (featuring More Lana Del Rey) as a single. And yet, it seems the true purpose of unleashing another edition is for Swift to showcase her “cred” with a version of “Karma” featuring Ice Spice.

    Being that “rap clout” is among the most viable of ways for white girls to prove their worth outside the pop sphere, Swift has only ever engaged with one other such musician on a remix of her song: Kendrick Lamar on “Bad Blood” (a major coup that still can’t be believed). Del Rey herself is no stranger to engaging in the “trend,” having collaborated with A$AP Rocky and The Weeknd more than once. Hence, her ill-advised, apropos-of-nothing humblebrag, “My best friends are rappers, my boyfriends have been rappers” (who? G-Eazy?) in early 2021 after announcing the release of Chemtrails Over the Country Club (ultimately, Lana’s folklore). Fortunately for Swift, the masses seem far less inclined to decry her for anything other than her romantic choices (and yes, Matty Healy is disgusting on manifold levels). Because oh, how quickly everyone was to forget about her obscene carbon footprint.

    As for her barrage of re-releases in the name of good capitalist business (a.k.a. “ownership”), no one would ever besmirch that. Even if “Dear Reader” was the perfect way to end the truest version of Midnights, the 3am Edition. As for “Snow on the Beach,” Jack Antonoff—the producer neither pop chanteuse can get enough off—provides different production this time around (complete with more “divine”-sounding string arrangements) as Del Rey’s voice is “permitted” to have a higher-volumed presence. And yes, it’s still unclear why she wouldn’t do that in the first place, despite her claim to Billboard, “I had no idea I was the only feature [on that song]. Had I known, I would have sung the entire second verse like she wanted.”

    But really, how could she not have known? Isn’t that pertinent information that both Swift and Antonoff would have mentioned to her? Furthermore, she could have sang at a normal decibel to begin with and awaited feedback about whether it was “too loud” or not. Nonetheless, Del Rey insisted her “job as a feature on a big artist’s album is to make sure I help add to the production of the song, so I was more focused on the production. She was very adamant that she wanted me to be on the album, and I really liked that song.” Even if Del Rey’s vocals and “persona” would be much more at home on “Vigilante Shit.” Indeed, “Snow on the Beach” is arguably the most flaccid song on Midnights, apart from “Lavender Haze” and “Question…?”

    Regardless, per Taylor heeding her and Lana’s fans command, “You asked for it, we listened: Lana and I went back into the studio specifically to record more Lana on ‘Snow on the Beach.’ Love u Lana.” Thus, Del Rey is given a full verse formerly taken by Taylor—the one that goes, “This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen/I searched ‘aurora borealis green’/I’ve never seen someone lit from within/Blurring out my periphery.” The two then join in together to harmonize on the lines, “My smile is like I won a contest/And to hide that would be so dishonest/And it’s fine to fake it ’til you make it/‘Til you do, ’til it’s true.” Both women having plenty of experience with that in the early days of their career, only to reach their respective zeniths in the present.

    For added flair, Del Rey layers on her own dreamy mmm-mmm-mmmm-mmms to the repetition of “like snow on the beach” (after the “contest” verse). Which, to be frank, isn’t all that anomalous in a climate change scenario. But we can pretend it still has “phenomenon” cachet for the sake of a jarring love metaphor. So, all in all, it features More Lana Del Rey for sure. Next, they’re going to have to obey a fan request for them to scissor on video for the Waking Up At Noon Edition.

    While Del Rey and Swift theoretically “gel” from a collaborative standpoint—yet still don’t deliver something that special with “Snow on the Beach” (the better Lana feature is on “Don’t Call Me Angel” with Ari and Miley)—Ice Spice makes absolutely no sense with Swift. And that comes across on “Karma,” with Ice Spice faintly saying at the beginning, “Karma is that girl, like (grrah).” Her signature “grrah” noticeably muted. Perhaps not to “scare” the fragile Swift audience with her “aggressive” Blackness. In this sense, Ice Spice becomes the new Lana on the original version of “Snow on the Beach” (now transformed into what amounts to a duet), toning herself down to blend into “Taylor’s world.” Her lone verse is hardly anything to instill fear either (let’s just say Nicki Minaj would have gone much harder) as she promises, “Karma is your chеck’s ’boutta bounce (damn)/Karma is the fire in your house (grrah)/And she ’boutta pop up unannounced (like)/And she never leavin’ you alone (damn)/Watch her put ya opps on a throne (damn).”

    Swift might have let her stop there, but instead, Ice Spice continues, “Got you wavin’ pretty white flags, feenin’ for that cash/Thinkin’ it’ll save ya, now you switchin’ up your behavior/It’s okay, baby, you ain’t gotta worry, karma never gets lazy/So, I keep my head up, my bread up, I won’t let up (never)/Promise that you’ll never endeavor with none lesser (ever, ever)/I be draggin’ that wagon, karma is a beauty winning that pageant, grrah.” Pageants and contests being the norm in Swift’s realm of white privilege.

    Another norm is releasing oh so many versions of things. Ergo, as further proof that Swift inexplicably favors East Coastians (especially those near New York), she also milked Midnights of another version called the Late Night Edition that she was only selling in a CD format at her The Eras Tour shows in East Rutherford. This one also including the Lana and Ice Spice collabs on the Til Dawn Edition, but swapping out “Hits Different” for a “From the Vault” song called “You’re Losing Me” (ostensible shade-throwing at Joe Alwyn). And maybe some Swifties would like to believe Taylor fucked over Target on their “Hits Different” CD exclusivity as retaliation for pulling select Pride merch, but, if we’re being real with ourselves, Taylor is her own big business with capitalist machinations à la Target—and therefore knows that the more versions sold, the more money made.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • It’s Celebrity Blind Eyes, Hi. Celebrity Blind Eyes Are the Problem, It’s Them: Taylor Swift’s Decision to Host a Grammy After-Party at the Chateau Marmont

    It’s Celebrity Blind Eyes, Hi. Celebrity Blind Eyes Are the Problem, It’s Them: Taylor Swift’s Decision to Host a Grammy After-Party at the Chateau Marmont

    The dark pall cast over the Chateau Marmont has been ongoing since 2020, when The Hollywood Reporter published a damning article in September entitled “Rot at Hollywood’s ‘Playground’: Chateau Marmont Staff Allege Racial Discrimination, Sexual Misconduct and Neglectful Management.” The “neglectful management” in question was ultimately attributed to hotelier and, yes, manager André Balazs, who bought the Chateau in 1990. Sixty-one years after the hotel—at that time, an apartment building—opened. For it was in February 1929, eight months before the infamous stock market crash, that the Chateau Marmont opened to the public. Described as, “Los Angeles’ newest, finest and most exclusive apartment house… [it is] superbly situated, close enough to active businesses to be accessible and far enough away to ensure quiet and privacy.”

    That assurance of privacy is what has captivated the hotel’s celebrity clientele for years. And the timing of the eventual hotel’s opening as lavish apartment residences seemed unexpectedly fortuitous in that the Great Depression era that arose soon after forced its original owner, Fred Horowitz, to sell the building to Alfred E. Smith for $750,000 in cash. This was in 1931, just a year before the 1932 Olympics would be hosted in L.A. Thus, Smith’s decision to convert the fledgling apartment building (which no one could pay the rent on during the Depression) into a hotel proved to be a business savvy maneuver—and cement the hotel’s reputation as a haven for privacy for decades to come.

    But privacy in the celebrity realm often becomes code for: turning a blind eye to egregious behavior. As Harry Cohn grossly said, “If you must get into trouble, go to the Marmont.” And many have heeded that advice, even if only “harmlessly” (see: Lindsay Lohan not paying her bill). In the wake of that aforementioned The Hollywood Reporter article, the barrage of information and testimonies gathered from employees about what cost to “the little people” that “privacy” has come at prompted a certain business associate (who preferred to remain anonymous, of course) of Balazs’ to remark to THR, “I’m reconsidering the Chateau through a totally different lens now. All of the talk of it being a ‘playground,’ of it exalting ‘privacy.’ It really was just a system that protected white men in power.” Maybe that person was genuine in their statement… or just trying to “adapt or die” in a climate that can’t help but increasingly roll its eyes at white men. At best. At worst, shame them into oblivion—granted, that’s pretty hard as most white men have no sense of shame.

    Least of all Balazs, who coined the illustrious aphorism: “All good hotels tend to lead people to do things they wouldn’t necessarily do at home.” Even though a lot of rich people probably do treat “the help” like shit at home as well, maybe they feel obliged to delight in such degradation more so when the help isn’t actually “theirs.” Like, say, Sonia Molina Sanchez, one of the subjects of the THR article and a Chateau housekeeper for roughly ten years at the time of the piece’s publication. Per THR, Sanchez “tells of an incident six years ago in which a male guest began masturbating while she was cleaning his room. She reported what happened to her manager, hoping the man would be barred from the hotel. However, the guest continued to visit (she didn’t service his room again). ‘[Management] made me believe that they were going to deal with it, but they didn’t do anything… They made me feel unsafe at work. Every time I saw him, I was reliving my experience. I felt abused again.’”

    This particular subject and scenario feels especially poignant when taking into account that the latest high-profile celebrity to turn a blind eye to the Chateau’s sordid past and business practices, Taylor Swift, has been a vocal proponent for victims of sexual harassment, having been one herself “thanks to” sleazy ex radio DJ David Mueller, who groped her during a 2013 meet-and-greet. Upon immediately reporting the incident to her mother, management and security team, Mueller was fired from the station soon after. And yet, being a white man, he figured he could gaslight her into believing she had imagined the whole thing, countersuing her for “defamation”—despite some very strong photographic evidence of the incident. A photograph that Swift did not want shown to the public, but then TMZ went and shot that to shit, leaking the photo that very much revealed some untoward behavior on Mueller’s part.

    Perhaps if Swift had had the Chateau on her side, she might have maintained some privacy vis-à-vis the photo. And yet, it is an institution like the Chateau that protects the very people that Swift has sought to call out on songs like “The Man,” wherein she asks, “When everyone believes ya, what’s that like?” Despite Balazs’ cushion of power (a byproduct of wealth), it was easy for many to believe the “low-level” employee who said of Balazs’ erratic mood swings spurred by drug-taking in THR, “It’s like having an alcoholic, drug-addicted father, but it’s your CEO.” Surely, Swift can empathize with that as well, what with her whole Scooter Braun debacle (of which she described as being subject to his “incessant, manipulative bullying”).

    Another interviewee for the article was an unnamed producer who noted, “The Chateau is such a long-running show. It’s this weird beast that kind of slipped by and shouldn’t exist as it is, but it does. But if you were to say, ‘It needs better HR and proper compliances and codes and egalitarianism at the door,’ it loses its touch.” One could say the same of celebrities themselves becoming truly “moral” in a manner that would require them to actually “walk the talk” (instead of just talking the talk), as it were. For Swift isn’t unaware of the controversy that surrounds the hotel, nor the implications of choosing to ignore its legacy.

    The same went for Beyoncé and Jay-Z when they threw an Oscars after-party at the Chateau in 2022 amid a hospitality workers’ union boycott of the establishment that began after the flagrant mistreatment of the staff came to light via THR. While the duo might have cited—if they actually cared to exhibit a guilty conscience—the fact that Bar Marmont, where the party was held, constitutes a “separate” property from the Chateau, it is nonetheless part of the same holdings company, owned by Balazs. Jay-Z also tried to mitigate the “bad look” with the consolation that he’d be bringing in “his own team” to “staff the after-party.” How kind of him. Besides, what does a New York loyal care about the rights of L.A. workers? Or Swift, another New York loyal (though not born there), for that matter?

    The answer has been made clear yet again by the latter’s decision to host a Grammys after-party at the Chateau. As Unite Here Local 11 co-president Kurt Peterson said of Jayoncé’s Oscars after-party, it’s “not morally good.” But celebrities, who have flocked to the amoral Chateau Marmont for the past two centuries, go there precisely for that reason. Whether they want to admit it or not. This includes even the “pure” ones, like Swift. Who, for whatever reason, remains unbesmirchable. We saw that much after all the controversy over Swift being the worst offender for private jet use quickly blew over. Sometimes, all it takes is an album release for people to forgive even the worst of sins. And Swift has been forgiven repeatedly for all of hers, including her country roots that unavoidably touted a white bread existence, even if not “directly.”

    For it wasn’t until Swift started to transition to pop, moved to New York and become “correctly woke” that she finally saw fit to include people of color occasionally in her music videos (this includes the “unwittingly” Black Mirror-esque video for 2019’s “Lover”). Shit, she even threw in a fair quota for the aggressively white and heteronormative “All Too Well” video. And so, being “racially aware” all of the sudden now that she spent some time living (in a bubble) in New York, one would think that, if the sexual harassment the Chateau allows to flourish wouldn’t make Swift think twice about having her Grammys party there, then maybe the history of racial discrimination toward its employees would. Embodying an Abercrombie & Fitch practice of only allowing white employees “on the floor” and POC employees in the proverbial back, the same thing that went on at many an A&F store would also go down when Balazs showed up, with supervisors girding their loins in anticipation for his arrival ensuring that the “right” (read: white) employees were up front and center.

    A more recent article (from The Atlantic) on the dilemma posed for celebrities in continuing to relish the “experiences” provided by the Marmont asked: “Can debauchery and decency co-exist? Can luxury accommodate fair labor practices and still feel luxurious?” The response is obvious to any celebrity willing to be truthful: no. Though an ostensibly fair deal struck between Balazs and his employees, with the former capitulating to the establishment of a union, would like to make people believe otherwise. Thus, a happy ending for all that allows celebrities like Swift to feel comfortable turning a blind eye to the Chateau’s notorious track record. One that isn’t likely to dissipate just because, golly gee whiz, there’s a union now.

    In that same The Atlantic article, writer Xochitl Gonzalez notes realistically, “I also couldn’t help wondering how much the contract will change workers’ experience on the job. They’re better-compensated; they have retirement benefits and other protections. But the agreement does little to shield them from entitled or inebriated guests. It did what I used to do: it threw money at the problem.” And because of that, more “wholesome” celebrities like Swift can feel good about supporting the institution, indulging in the type of reverie that only it can provide. With a “Marmo lover” like Lana Del Rey (Swift’s musical “scissor sister,” of sorts, thanks to a shared man in Jack Antonoff that resulted in a flaccid collaboration like “Snow on the Beach”) also showing up to the after-party.

    But then, that particular chanteuse has been a long-time supporter of the Old Hollywood “glamor” the Chateau represents (openly licking its asshole at the beginning of her career with a song lyric that declared, “Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Chateau Marmont” and an interview or two filmed there to play up the “glamorous” vibe she was going for back then…before devolving her “persona” into an uncharacteristic deadbeat soccer mom aesthetic). So have many people who just can’t let go of the inanimate L.A. icon. Especially now that it’s “cleaned up” its act, surely. Though it seems rather convenient that it did so just in time for the many after-parties of the 2023 awards season (with the union contract ratified in December of 2022).

    Gonzalez isn’t so naïve about the concession to a union either, concluding in her The Atlantic piece, “I’m not sure whether a great place for the wealthy can ever be a great place for those who serve them. In a business where the key word is yes, unions can police employers, but the whole point of a luxury experience is that no one polices the guests.” Even ones as “tame” and “dulcet” as Swift and her ilk.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Honey, I Blew Up the Taylor in Wonderland: “Anti-Hero” Video Shows Swift Being Too Big For This World

    Honey, I Blew Up the Taylor in Wonderland: “Anti-Hero” Video Shows Swift Being Too Big For This World

    After directing the aggressively white and heteronormative “All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),” Taylor Swift made it clear that she had plenty of other future directorial (and screenwriting) intentions in mind. Whether that will ultimately lead to a feature-length movie remains to be seen, but, for the time being, continuing to direct her own music videos is a good way to “flex the muscle” in the directing field. And perhaps she was watching a lot of Michel Gondry films—followed by Honey, I Blew Up the Kid and Alice in Wonderland—when she came up with the visual concepts behind her first single from Midnights, “Anti-hero.” For there is a calculatedly surreal quality to the narrative.

    One that opens on Swift’s back to the camera as the caption beneath “Anti-Hero” is sure to announce, “Written & Directed by Taylor Swift.” As she sits at the kitchen table (presumably around the midnight hour—since “midnights become [her] afternoons”), she proceeds to cut open one of the sunny-side up eggs on her plate that suddenly leaks glitter. And, to be honest, such a visual is patently ripped off from the Kesha playbook. Only slightly unnerved by the vision, it is the appearance of several “ghosts” in sheets (think: A Ghost Story) that causes her to truly freak out as she tries to call for help from her landline (this just being part of the many 70s aesthetics from the Midnights era), only to find the cord is cut. Much like the thin thread of her sanity as she runs into another corner of her house to hide from the “specters” that won’t leave her alone.

    Indeed, ghost imagery is mentioned a few times on Midnights, with one notable instance being on “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” when she sings, “And now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts.” Even sheet-covered ones that wouldn’t make Lydia Deetz so much as flinch. Another standout lyric that opens the track is, “I have this thing where I get older/But just never wiser.” Which could be part of the reason why she refuses to branch out from collaborating with Jack Antonoff.

    When she finally goes to open the front door as a means to run out and escape, she sees the “vampier” version of herself standing before her with the greeting, “It’s me.” The Insomniac Taylor sings the “hi” part before “Devious” Taylor continues, “I’m the problem, it’s me.” Letting this version of her “worst” self in, Insomniac Taylor starts to let Devious Taylor influence all her thoughts and feelings as they do shots together and Insomniac Taylor takes down notes from the lesson plan Devious Taylor wants to impart: “Everyone Will Betray You.” This being, of course, a philosophy that feeds Insomniac Taylor’s trust issues.

    The next scene is where things really meld the plot points of Honey, I Blew Up the Kid and Alice in Wonderland as a giant Swift peers in on a dinner party of “friends” looking like she just consumed one of the same “Eat Me” cakes as Alice. Despite the incongruity of her oversized appearance, she tries to “act naturally” while the lyrics, “Too big to hang out [here, one is reminded of Lorde’s own fame-lamenting lyrics on “Liability”], slowly lurching toward your favorite city/Pierced through the heart, but never killed” play in the background. She then, quelle surprise, gets shot in the chest with an arrow (for she loves that “The Archer” imagery). As is to be expected, her wound bleeds glitter (as Kesha’s would). Then, as though fully surrendering to her bad reputation, she pulls the tablecloth off in one sweep and sends everyone running in fear, left by herself to eat and imbibe tiny food and drinks.

    Continuing to hang out with Devious Taylor (the “true” anti-hero within) doesn’t do much to help her self-esteem either as she’s pushed off the bed they’re jumping on together and judged harshly by Devious Tay when the scale that Insomniac Tay steps on informs her simply, “FAT.” Because, yes, even thin girls like Taylor have body image issues (but for something more authentic on that matter, one is best turning to Tove Lo’s “Grapefruit” and its accompanying video).

    Wanting to convey to viewers the full weight (no body image pun intended) of her directorial cachet, Swift is then certain to include a dialogue-laden segment that ties into her Knives Out-grafting plot in the lyrics, “I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money/She thinks I left them in the will/The family gathers ’round and reads it/And then someone screams out/‘She’s laughing up at us from hell.’” This, in its own way, is one of the most candid statements about fame, and the highly specific fear that many celebrities must “secretly” have when entering into the unbreakable contract of becoming a parent. For can a child of such a person ever “love” their money-bags progenitor for pure reasons? Maybe that’s part of why Taylor has yet to commit to having one.

    It would certainly seem like a nightmare based on the will-reading scenario Taylor has come up with, featuring John Early as Chad, Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Kimber and Mike Birbiglia as Preston a.k.a. her money-grubbing children who get up in arms that she’s instructed her beach house should be turned into a cat sanctuary (a large portrait of “Old Taylor” with a gaggle of cats serving as the “in memoriam” photo next to the flower display). Chad refuses to believe that, in contrast, she’s bequeathed only thirteen cents each to her progeny, insisting she’s doing what she always does: leaving a secret hidden message in the will that would give them something more. But the asterisk added from Swift herself is, “P.S. There is no secret encoded message that means something else. Love, Taylor.”

    Accusing Chad of being responsible for this lack of inheritance after “trading in on Mom’s name” for most of his life (e.g., a book called Growing Up Swift and a podcast called Life Comes At You Swiftly), he bites back that Preston is constantly using Mom’s name at the country club and that Kimber is wearing her clothes right now. Kimber tries to say, “No I’m not,” but Preston backs up Chad with the citation, “That’s from Fearless Tour 2009.”

    As the bickering goes on, we transition back to “reality”—back to that house where Insomniac Taylor must dwell with all of her insecurities and paranoias. And with Devious Taylor… who pops up all giant to look at Insomniac Taylor from below as she’s drinking wine on the rooftop. As the two then sit side by side (now scaled to the same size), a third, even more giant Taylor than before proceeds to walk down the street toward them.

    The other two appear welcoming to this ramped-up grandiose spectacle version of themselves, offering their tiny-in-ultra-giant-Taylor’s-hands bottle of wine to her. Because, if anything is taken away from this video, it’s the suggestion that there’s a reason why so many musicians end up with a drinking problem. The “too big for this world” aspect of her persona that’s being played up ultimately speaking to how Swift often grapples with not being seen as a real person, but rather, as an “entity.” And surely, “entities” are immune to such regular people things as cirrhosis.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Innovation Stalls on Midnights As Taylor Swift Does A Lot of 2012-Era Musical Recycling While Joe Alwyn Remains Her Eternal Muse

    Innovation Stalls on Midnights As Taylor Swift Does A Lot of 2012-Era Musical Recycling While Joe Alwyn Remains Her Eternal Muse

    While most insomniacs would settle for watching TV all night, Taylor Swift has shown us yet again just how “Type A” she can be by using some of her many sleepless nights for productivity purposes. Resulting in what is now her tenth album, Midnights. And yes, ten studio albums put out over the course of sixteen years is very impressive indeed (not to mention the work put into her re-recordings thus far). It puts Swift closely behind Madonna, who started all the way back in 1983, yet “only” has fourteen studio albums (fifteen, for those who want to include I’m Breathless). Rihanna might have one-upped Swift if she had kept up the pace of releasing an album a year (skipping a release just once in 2008 and then waiting four years in between Unapologetic and Anti), but, no, she had to gravitate toward the fashion and beauty industry instead. Lana Del Rey is the only who comes close to Swift’s prolificness, having almost the same number of records out despite having gotten her first official record release (Born to Die) six years after Swift’s.

    Maybe that’s part of why Swift felt the necessity to include her most comparable contemporary on this record, the only feature on the entire thing. But before we get to that, Swift starts us off with a very Harry Styles-esque tone and tempo (they did date, after all) called “Lavender Haze.” This being a title Swift grabbed when she heard it in a line from Mad Men and then confirmed that it was a popular turn of phrase in the 50s and early 60s. As a song that explores wanting to avoid having to deal with any of the media blitzkrieg that comes with someone of her fame level being in a relationship, she insists upon remaining in the lavender haze of a new love and its honeymoon period at all costs. Saying, “Get it off your chest/Get it off my desk” in that tone that reminds one of her saying, “Call it what you want, yeah,” Taylor indicates that she doesn’t care about the media’s bid for virality in dissecting her life. All she wants is to stay in her bliss. It’s therefore a song that proves you can be any age and get caught up in the googly-eyed version romance paraded in films and books, but the problems of adulthood infecting that kind of youthful outlook always tend to get in the way sooner or later.

    “Maroon” subsequently continues the color palette motif (something Lana Del Rey is also fond of). Musically disparate from anything she’s ever done, it’s a sound that itself has been done by many before her. Which brings us to the fact that Midnights has somewhat stalled Swift’s thirst for something like innovation. Just as Del Rey, she’s started to get too comfortable in the familiar formulas provided by Jack Antonoff, who himself reached a peak with the sound on Midnights via his own band Fun’s 2012 record, Some Nights (which not only reminds one of the title Midnights, but also has a similar album cover involving a lighter), featuring the seminal single, “We Are Young.”

    Musical genres come in cycles, that’s no secret. And the only person who was ever usually ahead of the curve on bringing those trends to the masses was Madonna (except starting in 2008, when she enlisted Timbaland, Pharrell and Justin Timberlake as producers on Hard Candy). Taylor herself has followed musical trends of the moment for most of her career, going the standard route of being a country star transitioning to pop (as Shania Twain and Faith Hill did). Even folklore and evermore were albums that tapped into a moment, speaking to the “stay home” laze of the pandemic era that Swift interpreted as “cottagecore.” Midnights seeks to not only shatter that era with 70s-inspired “going out” aesthetics, but also delves further back into the period when Swift was having her original success with Red in 2012. At that time, other acts like M83, Chvrches, Sleigh Bells and Phantogram were suffusing the landscape with the electropop/synth electronic sound that Swift eschewed for her careful treading along the line between country and pop.

    Nonetheless, Swift lends her signature songwriting style involving lament to what has already been a well-established musical trope from ten years ago. As a requisite “what might have been” song about a former lover, “Maroon” addresses one of the five themes Swift said inspired the record: self-hatred, revenge fantasies, “wondering what might have been,” falling in love and “falling apart.”

    In “Maroon,” a little bit of all five categories are embodied as she describes, “I wake with your memory over me/That’s a real fucking legacy, legacy (it was maroon)/And I wake with your memory over me/That’s a real fucking legacy to leave.” Luckily for the man she’s railing against in this song, the only person she hates more than him is herself, it would seem. At least, if the self-deprecating “Anti-Hero” is something to go by. This track, too, remains up-tempo and 80s-tinged as Swift rues, “It’s me/I’m the problem, it’s me.” Declaring, “It’s me” in that way she once said, “It’s you” on Lover’s “Cruel Summer.”

    She provides one of her most evocative verses of the record when she adds, “Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby/And I’m a monster on the hill/Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city/Pierced through the heart, but never killed.” Lana Del Rey doesn’t seem to mind, willingly collaborating on the next song, “Snow on the Beach.” Alas, it is rather underwhelming as a musical marriage, with Taylor monopolizing all the vocals and Lana disappearing into the background (she got far more play in her collab with two other major pop stars, Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus). And, considering all the sexual tension between the two in terms of how much they orbit one another and echo each other’s songwriting style, maybe it was to be expected that this track would be an anticlimax.

    Even the lyrics are somewhat reaching in terms of a “trying too hard” to be poetic bent, with Swift and Del Rey noting, “And it’s like snow at the beach/Weird, but fucking beautiful/Flying in a dream/Stars by the pocketful/You wanting me.” At the very least, Swift offers her best analogy since, “I come back stronger than a 90s trend,” with, “Now I’m all for you, like Janet.”

    Going back to her more country twang (think: the Fearless era), “You’re on Your Own, Kid” shows us that Swift still has the Lana songwriting technique on her mind as she wields Del Rey’s favorite season to reference in the intro line, “Summer went away, still the yearning stays.” With a “tis the damn season” aura in its storytelling, Swift recounts, “I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this/I hosted parties and starved my body/Like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss/The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money/My friends from home don’t know what to say/I looked around in a blood-soaked gown.” That latter image being an undeniable allusion to Carrie. A character that even tall, blonde and thin Swift could relate to as she was ostracized by the people in her school. Sort of like everyone walking off the dance floor at Christina Aguilera’s prom when the DJ played “Genie in a Bottle.”

    Realizing that she never should have looked to someone else for salvation or validation anyway, she comes to the conclusion, “You’re on your own, kid/Yeah, you can face this/You’re on your own, kid/You always have been.” The “kid” part coming across like it was condescending inspiration from Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca.

    Using a vocoder to introduce the lyrics on “Midnight Rain” (because this record obviously needs to have a song with the album’s title somewhere in it), it’s the only sonic moment that doesn’t seem entirely generic as Swift proceeds to revert to her folklore/evermore narrative vibe (think: “The Last American Dynasty”). And, as was the case during “You’re On Your Own, Kid,” Swift reflects on small-town life and ultimately escaping it, this being a rumination, yet again, on the “what might have been” theme. So it is that Swift states, “My town was a wasteland/Full of cages, full of fences/Pageant queens and big pretenders/But for some, it was paradise.” “Some” like the boy she has “no choice” but to leave in order to pursue her big dreams in the big city. And yet, once she’s achieved her fame goals, she can’t help but “peer through a window/A deep portal, time travel/All the love we unravel/And the life I gave away/‘Cause he was sunshine, I was midnight rain.” But surely Swift would have thought the opposite if she had given up her career ambitions to play the little wife. Even so, in her late-night hours, she has to admit, “I guess sometimes we all get/Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted/And I never think of him/Except on midnights like this.”

    Commencing with a somewhat paltry imitation of Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8r Boi”-style “portrait-painting,” “Question…?” describes, “Good girl/Sad boy/Big city/Wrong choices.” The intro has a brief tinge of “Blank Space” with the same light instrumentation that also uses “I remember” from “Out of the Woods.” A track about humiliation and ill communication, it’s one of the most deviating from a lyrical perspective. So, too, is “Vigilante Shit,” which continues her wannabe Lana angle (this time from an Ultraviolence era perspective, which, to re-emphasize the time period Swift is mirroring sonically, was released in 2013). Most notably when Swift wields the line, “Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man.” It glistens among all the rest of the tracks, with a moodier, more visceral backdrop than most of the other upbeat electro rhythms.

    Almost as “glistening” but not quite is a song about a girl who loses her shine by putting all her self-worth into the hands of a man. And yes, “Bejeweled” provides some of Tay’s most “poetic” lyrics on Midnights. Including isms like, “Didn’t notice you walkin’ all over my peace of mind/In the shoes I gave you as a present” and “Familiarity breeds contempt/So put me in the basement/When I want the penthouse of your heart.” In the end, she decides, “What’s a girl gonna do? A diamond’s gotta shine.” That it does—which she already made vaguely clear on “mirrorball.”

    Despite now contributing to the cultural lexicon with her own “Labyrinth,” it is the movie of the same name that will forever reign supreme. Plus, it’s a bit douchey to pre-quote oneself. Regardless, Taylor did just that with “Labyrinth” by incorporating the lyrics, “Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out” into her commencement speech earlier this year at NYU. And even though such words might sound like part of a self-help book, the song is actually yet another ode to Joe Alwyn saving her from the sour taste (something Olivia Rodrigo knows about) that had lingered in her mouth from romances past. Accordingly, she sings, “Uh-oh, I’m fallin’ in love/Oh no, I’m fallin’ in love again/Oh, I’m fallin’ in love/I thought the plane was goin’ down/How’d you turn it right around?” Taylor will likely find that this metaphor is going to come back to bite her in the ass the next time there’s a major plane crash. Plus, being such a “New Yorker” nowadays, you’d think she’d know it’s still “too soon” after 9/11 to talk about plane crashes so casually.

    Gears shift on the maudlin love theme with “Karma.” Never mind that MARINA already had an untouchable song called “Karma” from 2019’s Love + Fear, Taylor has decided to create her own edition. Where MARINA’s was inspired by the #MeToo movement, and particularly Harvey Weinstein, Swift opts, as usual, to make things more specifically about herself and go for Scooter Braun’s jugular. What’s more, she borrows from another electropop band that had a moment in the 00s, CSS, by saying, “Karma is my boyfriend.” CSS already used that metaphor to greater perfection with the lyric, “Music is my boyfriend” (which is how Taylor sounds when she replaces “music” with “karma”) on the single, “Music Is My Hot Hot Sex.”

    Elsewhere, she uses highly specific details to allude to the fact that she’s talking about Braun as she accuses, “Spider boy, king of thieves/Weave your little webs of opacity/My pennies made your crown/Trick me once, trick me twice/Don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price?/It’s coming back around.” At the same time, this song also applies more than ever to Swift’s beef with Ye (formerly Kanye) that started all those years ago in 2009. And yes, Swift has definitely won that war as we watch Ye daily fall further from “grace.”

    On the next track, again one must say: never mind that Florence + the Machine already had an untouchable song called “Sweet Nothing” with Calvin Harris (in, quelle coincidence, 2012), Swift wants to have one too. Hers being more slowed down and stripped back. All for the purposes of, what a shock, providing a bathetic homage to Alwyn as she croons, “I found myself a-running home to your sweet nothings/Outside they’re push and shoving/You’re in the kitchen humming/All that you ever wanted from me was nothing.”

    Swift ramps up her Alwyn prose a notch on “Mastermind,” which allows her to spotlight her inner creep as she freely admits things like, “I laid the groundwork, and then/Just like clockwork/The dominoes cascaded in the line/What if I told you I’m a mastermind?/And now you’re minе/It was all by design.” Well, if one were Alwyn, maybe they would quote Taylor back to her by saying, “You need to calm down.”

    In another verse, Swift plays up her “loser” days as an unknown youth, lamenting, “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid/So I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since/To make them love me and make it seem effortless.” Naturally, it’s anything but—and this is part of why Swift has been called “calculated” so many times throughout her career. But maybe it was all worth it for Swift to be able to come up with a riposte like, “This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess/And I swear I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian/‘Cause I care.” The ultimate curse, but one that many a Sagittarian is burdened with while pretending not to be.

    While the standard edition of the album stops here, the “3am Edition” persists with “The Great War.” Once upon a time, that was what World War I was called, with the assumption that there wouldn’t be a second one. Now, Swift seems to be putting out this record at a moment when WWIII feels like an inevitability. Hence, the war metaphor being only too real despite most people of the millennial and Gen Z set only “experiencing” anything like battle in their video games. As she did on Lover’s “Afterglow,” Swift speaks of a great peace that will come after a great (relationship) war, assuring, “All that bloodshed, crimson clover/Uh-huh, the bombs were close and/My hand was the one you reached for/All throughout the Great War/Always remember/Uh-huh, the burning embers/I vowed not to fight anymore/If we survived the Great War.”

    “Bigger Than the Whole Sky” continues the theme of “The Great War,” indicating a brutal, destitute aftermath as Swift sings softly, “No words appear before me in the aftermath/Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears/Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness/‘Cause it’s all over now, all out to sea.” A line like that is ripe with the “we could have had it all” sorrow that pervades so much of Midnights.

    And, again ruminating on that theme, she inserts into the chorus, “What could’ve been, would’ve been/What should’ve been you/What could’ve been, would’ve been you.” Such lyrics also set things up for a later song called “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve.”

    But not before “Paris.” Indeed, not one to shy away from cliches, perhaps it was overdue for Swift to have a song named after the “City of Love” (though it’s really the City of Light). But Edith Piaf-flavored this number is not as the up-tempo rhythms of earlier on the record return for Swift to croon, “Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling/No, I didn’t see the news/‘Cause we were somewhere else/Stumbled down pretend alleyways, cheap wine/Make believe it’s champagne I was taken by the view/Like we were in Paris, oh.”

    Here it’s clear she’s using the city as an imaginary escape hatch (even though she could definitely just take her overused private jet there if she wanted to). Far from the scrutiny and as a place where people—even famous ones—assume they can remain in the “lavender haze” previously mentioned on the first track. So it is that Swift insists her and Alwyn’s love can stay protected if they just “fly over bullshit (as Beyoncé phrases it on “Alien Superstar”). If they just keep pretending “like we were somewhere else/Like we were in Paris.” The power of “pure imagination” also applies when interpreting the flashing lights of paparazzi cameras as nothing more that the shimmering lights of the Eiffel Tower (dimmed much earlier in the night now as a result of the energy crisis that won’t affect Swift). Thus, the lyric, “Let the only flashing lights/Be the tower at midnight.”

    As one of only three tracks on Midnights produced by Aaron Dessner, “High Infidelity” possesses a different tincture than the others crafted by Antonoff. Yet not different in the sense of Swift bringing up still another relationship past, this time likely referring to her transition from Calvin Harris to Tom Hiddleston circa 2016. With a retro video game-esque sound faintly punctuating the music in the background, Swift speaks directly to someone “like” Harris when she says, “You know there’s many different ways/That you can kill the one you love/The slowest way is never loving them enough.” The mention of the date April 29th also happens to be when “This Is What You Came For” was released. A.k.a. the single that prompted Harris to snap at his ex on Twitter with such venoms as, “I know you’re off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy ETC but I’m not that guy, sorry.” This being a result of the real songwriter behind “This Is What You Came For”—Swift—being unveiled.

    Call it just another relationship malfunction. Or “Glitch”—a song that refers to Tay’s enduring romance with Alwyn as a “glitch in the matrix” that the system never thought was possible or would last. As the briefest little ditty on Midnights at two minutes and twenty-eight seconds, Swift makes it count with “sweet nothings” like, “But it’s been two-thousand one-hundred and ninety days of our love blackout (our love is blacking out)/The system’s breaking down.” That number of days adding up to, you guessed it, the six years Swift and Alwyn have been together.

    And, having been together that long, it’s no wonder Swift has to keep dipping back into her arsenal of exes for additional inspiration. As is the case on “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve,” which further hits us over the head with Swift’s preferred motif of the record: regret about a relationship. In this instance, she doesn’t wonder what might have been, but only wishes it had never been. The likely inspiration being John Mayer, as she mentions her age during this dalliance as nineteen (Lana, too, calls out being nineteen in “White Dress”—must be something affecting about that age). And, just as Jessica Simpson, Taylor would end up ruing the day she ever got into Mayer’s clutches, bemoaning, “God rest my soul I miss who I used to be/The tomb won’t close/Stained glass windows in my mind/I regret you all the time/I can’t let this go, I fight with you in my sleep” (this last line harkening back to the midnights/insomniac theme). That other beloved topic, revenge, is also peppered in with the lines, “Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts/Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” So it looks like Jake Gyllenhaal is only a runner-up to Mayer’s supreme level of dickishness.

    Sounding slightly like a romantic 80s ballad, the true closer of Midnights is “Dear Reader”—though, of course, what she really means is “Dear Listener.” Seeming to have enjoyed her life advice-giving status as a commencement speaker, she clearly had such a speech in mind when she wrote this track. For it offers “counsel” on how to live one’s life, mostly by staying true to oneself—yet also “bending” when necessary. As Jane Eyre did. And maybe that’s why Swift opted to reference Charlotte Brontë’s literary opus with the song’s title, famously taken from the mouth of the eponymous character when she announces, “Dear reader, I married him” (perhaps foreshadowing her own marriage to Alwyn). Even after the “him” in question goes blind in the fire, placing Eyre in the role of caretaker (but isn’t that what all women end up becoming when they consent to the part of “wife”?).

    Painting herself as a potentially unreliable narrator when she says, “Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart,” Swift still does her best to sound cocksure when she adds, “And if you don’t recognize yourself/That means you did it right.” Even though, just a moment ago in the song that preceded this, she asserts, “I miss who I used to be.” This dichotomy, this push-and-pull between wanting to “remain as one is” while also wanting to burst out of the proverbial chrysalis is what invades Midnights. For we can hear Swift grappling with attempts at being “avant-garde” sonically (you know, for someone who still “has to be” commercial), while staying as true as she can be to the girl she’s always been, therefore the musical and lyrical style (lovelorn, vengeful, regretful, etc.) she’s always relied upon. Which is something of a shame in that someone at her height could release anything at this point without worry of losing her devotees.

    To put it this way, Midnights is not Swift turning her back on the mainstream in any way remotely like what, say, Madonna did with Erotica thirty years ago (this particular album being released almost exactly the same day as Midnights, on October 20th). And if Swift is the artist she seems to want to be, more risk-taking is needed for future records. Something that goes beyond just another “solid win.”

    Genna Rivieccio

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