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Tag: Taylor Swift Bejeweled

  • Taylor Swift’s “Lavender Haze” Video Induces Little More Than Malaise

    Taylor Swift’s “Lavender Haze” Video Induces Little More Than Malaise

    If the domicile in “Lavender Haze” appears slightly familiar, perhaps it’s because of how similar it looks and feels to the one in “Anti-Hero.” And if the overall “mood palette” looks the same too, it’s because, as Swift stated, “This was the first video I wrote out of the three that have been released, and this one really helped me conceptualize the world and mood of Midnights, like a sultry sleepless 70s fever dream. Hope you like it.” And sure, of course everyone is expected to “like” it—if for no other reason than the fact that Swift opted to cast trans model Laith Ashley De La Cruz as her love interest (who also happens to be a weather forecaster—a nod to the “Karma” lyrics, “The guy on the screen/Coming straight home to me”).

    Swift, who has become “pointedly” woke in the years since she abandoned country music (and there really are some shitty songs from the canon of her early work), has been steadfastly building toward this. After all, she was sure to be more “inclusive” with the Black Mirror-esque “Lover” video (during which she also sings about a haze via the lines, “There’s a dazzling haze/A mysterious way about you, dear”) that featured Christian Owens as the lover in question. And then there was the “allyship” of “You Need to Calm Down” (also from the Lover album), which Swift timed for a release during Pride Month. So sure, “tapping into” the trans community was only a matter of time. Forgive one for the “jaded tinge” that has to it, but, it’s somewhat obvious that Swift treats the “minorities” she casts somewhat differently than the more “all-American” men she’s had in her videos. That is to say, she’ll actually kiss those men. For example, in her first video, “Tim McGraw,” Swift wasn’t shy about offering up some kiss action to her co-star, Clayton Collins. Released in 2006, it was clear Swift had a long way to go before becoming “woke”—accordingly, the country twang in her voice at that time has disappeared entirely in favor of “pop voice.”

    Elsewhere, she might never have kissed “Drew” in the “Teardrops On My Guitar” video, but probably because he was into some other girl, and that other girl seemed to be more of a beard than anything (this based solely on the casting choice for “Drew”). So maybe he was really just sparing his dear friend Swift the pain of kissing him only to later learn he could never love a woman. In the hoedown sound of the “Our Song” video, there was no room for a man at all. But these are extenuating circumstances that don’t apply to videos like “Lover” and “Lavender Haze,” wherein she prefers touchy “canoodling” to more overt displays of affection, which leads one to call bullshit on her “true acceptance” of the marginalized. It’s a classic case of that “Anti-Hero” lyric, “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?” But anyway, apart from the predictability of her casting choices at this point in her political/musical career, “Lavender Haze” is not among her most exciting concepts for a music video.

    Once more directed by Swift herself, the video starts off with a number of her beloved “Easter eggs,” including a close-up on a “Mastermind” record with the signs of Sagittarius (Swift’s) and Pisces (Joe Alwyn’s) etched in the constellation artwork. Then there’s the burning incense on the nightstand, which alludes to the “Maroon” lyrics, “When the morning came/We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf.” Swift, now sitting up in bed, is in the throes of insomnia, compounded by a literal cloud over her head as the lyrics, “You don’t really read into my melancholia” are said. Unlike Swifties, who read into every mood Swift is willing to showcase. Next to her in bed is De La Cruz, who appears unbothered by Swift’s nocturnal activity as he sleeps through the night in peace. Even when she touches his back and reveals the universe contained within it—yes, we all want to know what drugs she’s on.

    In the next instant, she’s lighting a match and we briefly wonder if her country-era persona has taken over and decided to commit a hate crime against a trans person. But no, for whatever reason, the match doesn’t light a fire, but a “lavender haze” (a.k.a. what looks like Gulal powder in purple). As Taylor dances around in the haze, De La Cruz continues to sleep like a log, even when the powdery substance enters his nostrils… but hey, it’s not coke, so why should it wake him?

    In the next scene, Swift is inexplicably alone on the couch in a lavender coat—a scene recognizable from many of her promotional photos for Midnights. Because why not kill two birds with one stone by extrapolating some stills from the music video for the album promo? In any case, Swift proves she must have been smoking the good shit on this night as she blows a clock-shaped smoke ring in our face à la The Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. After which she crawls on the floor through a suddenly materialized “field” of flowers (lavender ones, of course). Making her way toward the TV where De La Cruz is giving the “Forecast at Midnight” on the screen. Arriving at the TV, Swift is able to split it open to reveal another universe filled with koi fish inside. Again, she must have been smoking the good shit (as only a celebrity can afford).

    Another cut to Swift in a lavender-hued pool that looks like the kind one might be able to access at a very expensive spa allows the chanteuse to play up her chastely sexual side. At which time she sings, “I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say.” But of course she does—that’s what the majority of her songs and video concepts have been driven by. Unfortunately, this particular video concept wasn’t driven by the inspiration for the track’s title: Mad Men. Per Swift, “I happened upon the phrase ‘lavender haze’ when I was watching Mad Men. I looked it up because I thought it sounded cool. And it turns out that it’s a common phrase used in the 50s where they would describe being in love. If you’re in the ‘lavender haze,’ then that meant you were in that all-encompassing love glow. And I thought that was really beautiful.” Beautiful enough to ascribe it to what she was going through with Joe Alwyn at the beginning of their relationship, protecting it at all costs from the media (which she still does). As Swift remarked, “I guess, theoretically, when you’re in the ‘lavender haze,’ you’ll do anything to stay there. And not let people bring you down off of that cloud [hence, the presence of some very pronounced clouds in this video]. I think that a lot of people have to deal with this now, not just like ‘public figures,’ because we live in the era of social media, and if the world finds out if you’re in love with somebody they’re going to weigh in on it.”

    But Swift ought to be more concerned with an objective person (as opposed to a die-hard Swiftie) weighing in on this video. During which she ironically insists, “No deal/The 1950s shit they want from me,” yet so adores the term “lavender haze,” which originated in the 50s. With this in mind, a more engaging concept would have been to set the video in the 50s at some point, perhaps with a Pleasantville angle that then finds Swift entering the modern world once the haze has ended. Because, although she doesn’t admit it (or want to), that “honeymoon” period is usually over after about a year.

    In another non sequitur moment, the scene that follows Swift splitting the screen and being in a lavender pool is a party at the duo’s house that seems intent to look as 70s-era as possible despite this song’s genesis being a direct result of the 50s. The party naturally devolves into a wannabe Holi celebration with more lavender-hued Gulal powder as Swift and her party attendees dance about in a reverie.

    The final moments show Swift opening the window in her living room (the party guests and De La Cruz have mysteriously vanished, perhaps all figments of her “fever dream” imagination to begin with) and then pushing the wall down. This causes the domino effect of all four walls falling, pushed back to reveal Swift’s abode has been floating in that lavender, koi fish-filled universe behind the TV screen that she was mesmerized by earlier. Now nestled in a giant cloud that appeared at the center of the erstwhile living room, Swift disappears into it and leaves the world behind. Notably, the fact that her love interest is not in the haze with her speaks to 1) how Swift would never really be with a trans person and 2) how her relationships have enabled her storytelling indulgence to make most of the narrative about her experience.

    Swift has also said of her tenure with Alwyn re: the “lavender haze,” [In] my relationship [of] six years we’ve had to dodge weird rumors, tabloid stuff, and we just ignore it. So this song is about the act of ignoring that stuff to protect the real stuff.” And yet, the accompanying video is about the fantastical rather than the real, which leads one to believe that Swift does a lot of manufacturing for the sake of songwriting embellishment. If only she could have “embellished” a more engaging and original video for the song… Anyway, now that this is off one’s chest, Taylor can get it off her desk.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • And By the Way, Taylorella Is Going Out Tonight: “Bejeweled” Riffs On Cinderella With Cameos Galore

    And By the Way, Taylorella Is Going Out Tonight: “Bejeweled” Riffs On Cinderella With Cameos Galore

    As Taylor Swift continues her Midnights blitzkrieg, a steady release of music videos for the album is par for the promotional course. And after only freshly releasing the Honey, I Blew Up the Kid meets Alice in Wonderland “Anti-Hero,” Swift has wasted no time (“midnights” speaking to the tick of the clock and all) in gracing her audience with yet another visual accompaniment—this time for “Bejeweled.” Which she also wrote and directed… yet again.

    Riffing on Cinderella because it’s a tale that automatically gets associated with midnight, Taylor fancies herself the cleaning “house wench” of the narrative, scrubbing the floor as her three stepsisters a.k.a. the Haim sisters, Lady Danielle (wants the ring), Lady Este (wants the title) and Lady Alana (wants the d***), traipse in discussing the impending ball. But Lady Danielle laments that, instead of just showing up and being able to look hot, a talent competition has been incorporated into this year’s festivities.

    Taylor, literally down at heel scrubbing puke off the floor, then overhears that the winner gets the keys to her own castle. “Taylorella” perks right up as her descriptive caption reads, “House Wench Taylor (wants the castle).” And we all know Swift loves a good castle reference. For example, on “New Romantics,” she sang, “I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.” Later, on “Call It What You Want,” she lamented, “My castle crumbled overnight” and “They took the crown, but it’s alright.” Then there was the “kingdom” allusion on the Kanye-shading “Look What You Made Me Do,” wherein she says, “I don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me.”

    It’s clear in “Bejeweled” that she’s determined to take them back, along with her independence, even if being tied to Joe Alwyn with an invisible string somewhat detracts from that. And yes, many believe one of the engagement-oriented Easter eggs (that odious term) Swift has planted in the video comes from the mouth of Laura Dern, who plays her stepmother, saying, “I simply adore a proposal. It’s the single-most defining thing a lady could hope to achieve in her lifetime.”

    After her stepmother and stepsisters continue to prattle on about how she can’t go to the ball, dropping in other Swiftian keywords like “exile” and “snake,” Taylorella waits for them to leave before breaking the fourth wall and smiling at the audience. A knowing smirk that infers the “Bejeweled” lyric, “And by the way, I’m goin’ out tonight.” That she is, as Taylorella enters a magically-appearing elevator (of the ilk that reminds the viewer of the one featured in Dua Lipa’s “Levitating” video with DaBaby… before he was briefly cancelled for making homophobic comments) after a stopwatch descends into her hand ticking off seconds beneath the words “exile ends.”

    All at once in a bejeweled cape, Taylorella happily enters the elevator and hits the number three button, just one of many hints that have prompted fans to determine she next plans to re-record her third album, Speak Now (not to be confused with Lindsay Lohan’s far more culturally impactful Speak). Taken to a room that looks like something out of a Yayoi Kusama exhibit, it’s filled with nothing but jewels (both on the floor as a pathway and suspended in mid-air) as Taylorella walks across them like Jesus walking on water (and yes, many do view Swift with his level of worship).

    Back on the art deco elevator, Taylorella then heads to the fifth floor, where, of all people, Dita Von Teese awaits. Citing her as one of the most iconic performers in an interview with Jimmy Fallon, Swift accordingly lists her as the “Fairy Goddess” in the credits, taking lessons on how to execute her signature “The Martini Glass” performance in a scene that is peak “women supporting women.” Once she apprehends the arcane knowledge of burlesque, Taylorella takes the elevator to the thirteenth floor (yet another number rife with meaning for the chanteuse). This is where the ball awaits, and where she will showcase her newfound talent for the Queen and the Prince.

    Against a backdrop of cogs and wheels, Taylorella herself sits on a clock in bejeweled burlesque attire, taking the spotlight at the fête—much to the dismay of her stepsisters. Watching from the sidelines is Pat McGrath as “Queen Pat,” with the caption, “Queen Pat was impressed. Prince Jack [of course, played by none other than Swift’s bitch, Jack Antonoff] was forced to propose to House Wench Taylor.”

    Posing next to Prince Jack with her giant key to her very own castle, Taylorella then goes poof as the additional caption needlessly explains, “She ghosted. But kept the castle.” This written as Taylorella, looking more Bridgerton than Cinderella, walks out on the balcony of her new “pad” to witness the sight of dragons breathing fire at the towers. The implication being that the outside world is still trying to tear down her perfect kingdom—or is it that they’re now “on her side” and protecting it? Only time will tell, but knowing the “pratfalls” of being a celebrity, it’s likely the former.

    Genna Rivieccio

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