There’s an animal menacing City Park, and it’s not an irate goose.
The giant swan boats, which are popular rentals for paddling around the 25-acre Ferril Lake, pose a threat to the otherwise peaceful Jazz in the Park series, jokes 30-year-old Lakewood resident Emerson Smith. They’re too big, scary-looking, and attention-hungry to ignore.
“Systems calibrated. Pool noodles firing at 800 m/s,” reads a July 10 post on Emerson’s Denver Jazz Flotilla Instagram page. “We’re ready to protect the citizens.”
“The whole flotilla thing is just my sense of humor,” admitted Emerson. “It’s fun to act tough while on a purple kayak listening to jazz. And let’s be real: not all jazz is created equal, and sometimes we need something else to entertain ourselves with.”
The concept is a goof, but the gatherings are real. Attendees of City Park Jazz, which takes place on Sunday afternoons over 10 weeks every summer, may have noticed kayaks floating behind the City Park Pavilion stage last summer, when Emerson first got the idea. He invited more friends to join him this year and secured their commitment to doing it as often as possible. Last week he had 10 people join him, he said.
“Their enthusiasm made me want to see how big we could make it,” said Emerson, who picked up 50 followers on a Reddit post — most of whom he doesn’t know.
Emerson has not heard any concerns about his semi-organized gatherings from Denver Parks & Recreation, including limits on the number of watercraft on the lake. Hand-launched boats are allowed at nearly all Denver park lakes, no permits required, according to their website.
“A sound-producing device and at least one life jacket per person aboard is required to be on all vessels,” officials wrote.
“(The) only research I did was just to confirm personal kayaks and stuff are actually allowed on that lake,” Emerson said. “I asked ChatGPT and apparently we could fit about 11,000 12-foot kayaks comfortably on Ferril Lake. So that’s the goal.”
It’s not all a joke: on his Instagram bio, Emerson not only mentions defending people from giant swans but adds “Sometimes we pick up trash.” The next meet-up is on Aug. 4, and gloves, trash bags, and “two extra grabby thingys will be provided (first come first serve),” Emerson wrote online. Most of the trash is caught up in plants and is hard to reach while floating, so he plans on walking the shoreline a bit too.
Swan-boat and bike rentals are available at the park from California-based company Wheel Fun Rentals, which sits just a few dozen feet from the jazz bandstand. People can also rent kayaks from Wheel Fun to confront the company’s own swan-boat army, along with sporty and cruiser bikes, four-wheel Surrey cycles, canoes, and stand-up paddleboards. They offer nighttime rentals with LED-decked swan boats that can circle the lake’s giant, lit-up fountain.
Emerson gathers his own fleet in the southeast corner of the 330-acre park starting at 5:30 p.m. on Sundays. He recommends people who want to join him to meet up behind the stage if the show has already started. There’s no boat ramp, but most of the shore is accessible. And despite the lake’s natural beauty, be sure not to get any water in your mouth, he said.
“Like in most bodies of water there are some potentially harmful organisms,” he said. “As far as I understand this presents a relatively low risk but it’s best to avoid contact with the water, especially with your eyes, nose, mouth, open wounds, et cetera, and practice good hygiene.”
The cheeky front will continue even as Emerson works to grow the gatherings. The giant, evil swans are just too big a menace to ignore.
“They threaten to collide with the birds nests under the stage and they scare the native swans,” he said. “In general, they’re just a bad vibe and aren’t happy unless they’re stealing the show with their synchronized dance moves.”
Performances of the free, nonprofit Jazz in the Park series, which began in June, continue through next month with Denver Jazz Orchestra (July 21), Nelson Rangell (July 28), and Jakarta (Aug. 4). See cityparkjazz.org for more.
John Wenzel
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