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Tag: suicidal ideation

  • Patients Less Likely To Have Suicidal Thoughts Following Medical Cannabis Use

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    Patients prescribed cannabis-based medicinal products (CBMPs) report decreases in the prevalence and intensity of suicidal thoughts, according to observational data published in the journal Archives of Suicide Research.

    British investigators assessed rates of suicidal ideation in a cohort of patients authorized to use botanical cannabis or oil extracts. (British physicians are permitted to prescribe cannabis-based medicinal products to patients who are unresponsive to conventional medications.)

    Researchers reported, “Three months after commencing treatment, there was a reduction in both the percentage of the sample reporting suicidal ideation and the mean severity of suicidal ideation. … Twelve-month follow-up indicated a substantial reduction in depressed mood with this reduction being more pronounced in those reporting SI [suicidal ideation at baseline.]”

    The study’s authors concluded: “To the best of our knowledge, this is the first observational study of CBMPs to report on rates of suicidal ideation. … The current findings suggest CBMPs may be effective in reducing suicidal ideation, as well as other facets of health and well-being … while also suggesting that the presence of suicidal ideation should not be used as a reason to exclude an individual from CBMPs treatment.”

    Epidemiological data has previously suggested that cannabis may reduce incidences of severe depression and suicidal thoughts in those with post-traumatic stress.

    Commenting on the study’s findings, NORML’s Deputy Director Paul Armentano said: “Numerous studies find that medical cannabis significantly improves patients’ health-related quality of life. Therefore, it is not unexpected that many of these patients would also report improvements in their mood and overall outlook following their use of medical cannabis products.”

    An abstract of the study, “Suicidal ideation in medicinal cannabis patients: A 12-month prospective study,” appears on PubMed.

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    NORML

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  • Jared Padalecki Reveals He Checked Into A Clinic During Dark Period Of ‘Dramatic Suicidal Ideation’ – Perez Hilton

    Jared Padalecki Reveals He Checked Into A Clinic During Dark Period Of ‘Dramatic Suicidal Ideation’ – Perez Hilton

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    [Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]

    Jared Padalecki is opening up about a “really low moment” in his life.

    On Tuesday’s episode of the I’ve Never Said This Before podcast, the Supernatural star revealed he checked himself into a clinic a few weeks back in 2015 when struggling with suicidal ideation. He recalled to host Tommy DiDario:

    “It was 2015, I had a really low moment.  I was letting my thoughts take over and going to places of dramatic suicidal ideation. I called my wife and she said, ‘Get home.’ And so, I got home, went to a clinic for a couple weeks and looked into it and haven’t been suicidal since — not for a moment.”

    Wow. We’re so glad he reached out to a loved one and sought out treatment when he needed it. Many don’t. Far too many…

    Related: Christina Applegate Clarifies Those Worrying ‘I Don’t Enjoy Living’ Comments

    Jared said he just “needed a full reset” after working in a business for more than a decade and having to hide his true feelings all the time:

    “I had spent 15 years in this industry. You go to an audition or on a red carpet and they don’t want, ‘Jared, how are you doing today?’ ‘Oh today was rough, I didn’t sleep.’ They want, ‘Oh it’s great! Excited to be here!’ So I had done that for so long, trying to focus on what’s best for the person who’s talking to me as opposed to just being honest.”

    Now that the Gilmore Girls alum is in a better place, he is “proudly open” about every aspect of his mental health struggles — including that he got help after getting to a very dark place. As Jared put it:

    “I don’t wear it as a scarlet letter. It’s not like I’m shameful like, ‘Hey, I see a therapist, I’ve been to a clinic’. I wear it proudly. I put it on my face and tell everybody. If you’re not in a situation where you need that degree of help then don’t seek it. I needed a surgeon — not literally — but I needed it and here I am.”

    While Jared is in a good place these days, he still experiences tough days with his mental health. However, he’s now found a way to handle those kinds of days. According to the 41-year-old actor, he leans on his loved ones — and asks others to do so too:

    “You’re a human, I’m a human. There are still highs and lows. And today’s a low.”

    The reason it was a “low” day for him? Walker, the crime drama he starred in and executive produced, was canceled. The CW confirmed last month the show would end after four seasons. Although Jared is experiencing “a lot of sadness” over another chapter of his professional life ending, he did say he’ll be OK. He’s taken the time and talked to loved ones about his feelings, instead of bottling it up inside this time:

    “I’m fine, nothing to worry about but I have a lot of sadness about Walker [being canceled], the family. And my tears aren’t for myself. I know I’ll be fine because I’m talking to you about it, I talk to Gen about it, I talk to my friends about it.”

    The New York Minute star went on to encourage listeners if they ever find themselves struggling to seek help:

    “Please be open, please share, please find somebody whether it’s a friend or professional. Speak the truth.”

    Jared also gave an important reminder to everyone: While they are in a low place now, the feeling won’t last forever. He noted what has helped him over the years is “keeping an open mind and looking to tomorrow, next week, next month, next year,” adding:

    “Today’s a hard day. It’s been a hard month since we found out, but I’m in a great place with my wife, our children, my friends, my family. Seek help, open up.”

    It’s great that Jared is so honest about his mental health journey. We hope his advice helps others who are struggling right now.

    If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is available. Consider contacting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, by calling, texting, or chatting, or go to 988lifeline.org.

    [Image via Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube]

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    Perez Hilton

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  • Is This Premenstrual Condition a Mental Illness or Oppression?

    Is This Premenstrual Condition a Mental Illness or Oppression?

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    This article originally appeared in Undark Magazine.

    For one week of every month, I have a very bad time. My back aches so badly I struggle to stand up straight. My mood swings from frantic to bleak. My concentration flags; it’s difficult to send an email. Then, my period starts, and the curse is lifted. I feel okay again.

    Like some 1 to 7 percent of menstruating women, I meet the criteria for premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD. According to the most recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), a person with PMDD experiences marked emotional changes—such as sadness, anger, or anxiety—and physical or behavioral changes—such as difficulty concentrating, fatigue, or joint pain—in the week before their period. PMDD can also affect trans men and nonbinary people who menstruate.

    When I first heard of PMDD, it was a revelation. Here was a concrete explanation for the pain and stress I was feeling every month. Better yet, there was a simple, effective treatment: common antidepressant drugs called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, which can be prescribed for people to take only in the two weeks before their period. Birth-control pills, cognitive behavioral therapy, and calcium supplements may also help.

    Then I heard about the controversy surrounding the diagnosis. When the American Psychiatric Association added a form of PMDD as a proposed disorder to the diagnostic manual in the 1980s—DSM-III-R—some scholars pushed back. They saw the diagnosis as part of the historical oppression of women, done in the name of mental health. The controversy reared up again as PMDD remained in the 1994 DSM-IV, where it was also listed under “Depressive Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.” Many people who menstruate experience emotional changes during their cycles, so defining it as a mental illness could have serious personal and societal consequences, critics argued. A 2002 Monitor on Psychology article, “Is PMDD real?,” quoted the late psychologist and author Paula Caplan: “Women are supposed to be cheerleaders,” she said. “When a woman is anything but that, she and her family are quick to think something is wrong.”

    In the end, the APA weighed these concerns and pushed ahead, adding PMDD to the DSM-5 as an official diagnosis in 2013. But I found the criticism disquieting. Had I embraced a modern hysteria diagnosis? Were the symptoms I experienced even real?

    Researchers have looked for hormonal differences between people who experience severe premenstrual distress and people who don’t. In some cases, they’ve found them: A 2021 meta-analysis found that people with PMDD tend to have lower levels of estradiol, a form of estrogen, between ovulation and menstruation. But other studies have shown little to no difference in hormone levels. “There are no biomarkers. There’s no test that can be done which helps identify someone with PMDD,” says Lynsay Matthews, who researches PMDD at University of the West of Scotland.

    Instead, to receive treatment, people experiencing premenstrual distress have to monitor their own mind and body. PMDD diagnosis is based on a symptom diary kept over the course of multiple menstrual cycles.

    The symptoms recorded in those diaries can be severe. In a 2022 survey, 34 percent of people with PMDD reported a past suicide attempt. More than half reported self-harm. “If someone has suicidal ideation or self-harm, or suicide attempts every month for 30 years, that wouldn’t be described as a normal female response to the menstrual cycle,” Matthews says.

    There is evidence that SSRIs work for people with PMDD, in ways researchers don’t fully understand. “In some cases, hours after taking an effective SSRI, people can feel a lot better,” Matthews says, referring to PMDD patients. In contrast, people with depression usually need to take SSRIs for weeks before feeling the effects. Researchers know the drugs’ mechanism of action is different for PMDD—they just don’t know why. “When people find that out, they find it quite validating that it is a medical condition,” Matthews says.

    Tamara Kayali Browne, a bioethicist at Deakin University, in Australia, agrees that some people experience serious distress in the week before their period—but disagrees with calling it a mental illness.

    “The crux of the problem seems to be that we are in a patriarchal society that treats women very differently and puts a lot of women under a lot of significant, disproportionate stress,” Browne says. That disproportionate stress begins early. Eighty-three percent of a sample of Australian PMDD patients reported trauma in early life. It continues in adulthood. A Swedish survey of 1,239 people with PMDD found that raising children was associated with higher rates of premenstrual distress.

    Between ovulation and menstruation, many people experience higher physical and emotional sensitivity. They may feel unwilling or unable to deal with the stressors they tolerate the rest of the month: the screaming baby, the messy partner. “Is it the time of the month where the truth comes out?” Browne suggests. Seen in this light, irritability, anxiety, and low mood are understandable reactions to life stressors, not symptoms of mental illness.

    There is a long history of doctors labeling women crazy. There is also a long history of doctors dismissing women’s pain. Debates about premenstrual distress are caught in the middle.

    When critics question PMDD and the less severe premenstrual syndrome, it can feel invalidating. “It’s time to stop questioning whether women’s experiences are real and instead start making them real priorities,” the journalists Emily Crockett and Julia Belluz wrote in response to an article that suggested PMS is culturally constructed.

    At the same time, when left unchecked, casual sexism can seep into the medical discourse around PMDD. Early pharmaceutical advertisements marketing SSRIs for PMDD show how this works in practice. In 2000, Eli Lilly packaged fluoxetine hydrochloride in a pink-and-purple capsule and branded it Sarafem. Advertisements for the drug featured incapable, unreasonable women; one fights a shopping cart, another bickers with her (male) partner. “Think it’s PMS? Think again. It could be PMDD.” (The Sarafem brand has since been discontinued.)

    What if we can question the structural factors that make life harder for women while providing medical support for people who are suffering? Could the critiques lead us to more, not fewer, options for people with PMDD?

    Medical interventions can be lifesaving for people with PMDD. But they don’t address a society that places a heavy burden on the shoulders of people assigned female at birth.

    Browne compares severe premenstrual distress to a broken leg. “If you have a broken leg, you really do need painkillers, because you’re experiencing pain,” she says. “But it’s not going to be helpful in the long term if you don’t deal with whatever the underlying cause is.” In the week before menstruation, the life stressors a person with PMDD deals with the rest of the month can feel unbearable. Those life stressors can and should be addressed alongside conventional medical treatment.

    One common stressor is the caregiving load. “Parenting is not only a massive trigger, but it’s also the biggest burden or the biggest guilt that comes with having PMDD,” Matthews says. “Not only are you struggling yourself every month, but you also feel as though you’re failing your children every month.” The co-parent can help alleviate this burden. When fathers spend more time with their kids—and doing child-related chores—mothers tend to be less stressed about parenting.

    Another stressor is relationship difficulties. The emotional changes that come with the premenstrual phase can make conflict with a partner more likely. They can also prompt the PMDD sufferer’s partner to dismiss those feelings. “Nowadays, a partner might still be inclined to say, ‘Wait a minute, I know it’s that time of your month again. You’re just being oversensitive,’” Browne points out. Women in relationships with women, who tend to be more understanding of premenstrual change than men, report a more positive experience of the week before their period.

    Researchers have done great, necessary work to understand PMDD, work that should continue. How are people who experience premenstrual distress biologically different from people who don’t? Can we find new, more effective drugs to treat that distress?

    In the meantime, we need to build a better world for people who experience premenstrual distress. Doctors can prescribe medicine, but managers can make accommodations in the workplace. Co-parents can take on more caregiving responsibility. And partners can provide love and support.

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    Ciara McLaren

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  • Links Found That Tie Encephalitis to Potential Suicide Risks

    Links Found That Tie Encephalitis to Potential Suicide Risks

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    Feb. 23, 2023 – In 2017, during a year of study abroad in Paris, Michelle Cano Bravo began to have hallucinations, insomnia, and paranoia. She also had problems with her thinking skills – she would get lost frequently, even in places she knew. 

    “I had no idea what was happening,” the 25-year-old says. “I was like a dying dog under a house and just looked for solitude.” 

    During that period, Bravo, who today is a law student based in New York, tried to take her life twice. 

    After she returned to the U.S. in early 2018, she began to have more disturbing symptoms. Once, when visiting Times Square, “I thought the people on the big screens were talking to me,” she says.

    She panicked and couldn’t find her way to the subway. She doesn’t remember how she got home. But when she did, she collapsed, screaming that she was dying. She was rushed to the hospital, where she was admitted to the psychiatric unit.

    Days later, she was getting worse. She became unresponsive and comatose. Finally, she was diagnosed with encephalitis and multi-organ system failure. 

    Unfortunately, people with Bravo’s symptoms often are regarded as having a psychiatric illness rather than encephalitis, says Jesús Ramirez-Bermúdez, MD, PhD, of the National Institute of Neurology and Neurosurgery in Mexico City.

    Caring for patients with encephalitis, he says, is “challenging,” because the patients can have sudden and severe mental health disturbances. 

    “They are often misdiagnosed as having a primary psychiatric disorder, for instance schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, but they do not improve with the use of psychiatric medication or psychotherapy,” Ramirez-Bermudez says. Rather, the disease requires “specific treatments,” such as antiviral medications or immunotherapy. 

    What Is Encephalitis?

    Encephalitis is an inflammation of the brain caused either by an infection invading the brain (infectious encephalitis) or through the immune system attacking the brain in error (post-infectious or autoimmune encephalitis). 

    The disease can strike anyone at any age, and more than 250,000 people in the U.S. were diagnosed with it during the past decade. Worldwide, 500,000 people are affected by it annually.

    Unfortunately, about 77% of people don’t know what encephalitis is, and even some health care professionals don’t recognize that psychiatric symptoms can be signs of acute illness in encephalitis.

    Along with psychiatric symptoms, encephalitis can also include flu-like symptoms, fever, headache, sensitivity to light and/or sound, neck stiffness, weakness or partial paralysis in the limbs, double vision, and impaired speech or hearing.

    Suicidality in People With Encephalitis

    Between 2014 and 2021, Ramirez-Bermúdez and his colleagues studied 120 patients hospitalized in a neurologic treatment center in Mexico with anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis – a condition in which the antibodies produced by the person’s own body attack a receptor in the brain.

    This receptor is particularly important as part of the way the body signals itself and is required in several processes that lead to complex behaviors, he explains. Dysfunction in this receptor may lead to times when these processes are disturbed, which may result in psychosis.

    “In the last years, we observed that some patients with autoimmune encephalitis … had suicidal behavior, and a previous study conducted in China suggested that the problem of suicidal behavior is not infrequent in this population,” he says. 

    Ramirez-Bermúdez and his colleagues wanted to investigate how often patients have suicidal thoughts and behaviors, what neurological and psychiatric features might have to be related to suicidality, and what the outcome would be after receiving treatment for the encephalitis.

    All of the patients had brain imaging with an MRI, a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) to check for signs of infection in the brain or spinal cord, an electroencephalogram (EEG) to detect possible seizures or abnormal electrical brain activity, as well as interviews with the patient and family members to look at mental skills, mood, and suicidal thoughts. 

    Of the 120 patients, 15 had suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors. These patients had symptoms including delusions (for example, of being persecuted or of grandiosity), hallucinations, delirium, and being catatonic.

    After medical treatment that included immunotherapy, neurologic and psychiatric medications, rehabilitation, and psychotherapy, 14 of the 15 patients had remission from suicidal thoughts and behaviors. 

    Patients were followed after discharge from the hospital between 1 year and almost 9 years, and remained free of suicidality.

    “The good news is that, in most cases, the suicidal thoughts and behaviors, as well as the features of psychotic depression, improve significantly with the specific immunological therapy,” Ramirez-Bermúdez says. .

    Fighting Stigma, Breaking the Taboo

    Study co-author Ava Easton, PhD, chief executive of the Encephalitis Society, says that encephalitis-related mental health issues, thoughts of self-injury, and suicidal behaviors “may occur for a number of reasons. And stigma around talking about mental health can be a real barrier to speaking up about symptoms – but it is an important barrier to overcome.”

    Easton, an honorary fellow at the University of Liverpool in the United Kingdom, says their study “provides a platform on which to break the taboo, show tangible links which are based on data between suicide and encephalitis, and call for more awareness of the risk of mental health issues during and after encephalitis.”

    Ramirez-Bermúdez agrees. There are “many cultural problems in the conventional approach to mental health problems, including prejudices, fear, myths, stigma, and discrimination,” he says. “This is present in popular culture but also within the culture of medicine and psychology.”

    Bravo, the law student who dealt with encephalitis and its mental effects, told no one about her thoughts of suicide.

     “It was cultural,” she says. 

    Even though her mother is a doctor, she was afraid to share her suicidality with her. In her South American family, “the subject of mental illness isn’t a fun topic to talk about. And the message is, ‘if you’re thinking about killing yourself, you’ll end up in an asylum.’”

    Unfortunately, these attitudes add to a “delay in the recognition” of the diagnosis, Ramirez-Bermúdez says.  

    After treatment and as the acute disease lifted, Bravo slowly regained day-to-day function. But even now, more than 5 years later, she continues to struggle with some symptoms related to her mental skills, as well as depression – although she’s in law school and managing to keep up with her assignments. She’s not actively suicidal but continues to have fleeting moments of feeling it would be preferable not to live anymore. 

    On the other hand, Bravo sees a psychotherapist and finds therapy to be helpful, because “therapy refocuses and recontextualizes everything.” Her therapist reminds her that things could be a lot worse. “And she reminds me that just my being here is a testament to the will to live.” 

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  • Healing and Rebuilding Your Life After a Spouse’s Suicide

    Healing and Rebuilding Your Life After a Spouse’s Suicide

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    Jan. 24, 2023 — Betsy Gall, a real estate agent, seemed to have everything: three children, a comfortable home, a handsome, “life-of-the-party” oncologist husband whom she loved. But her world shattered on Thanksgiving Day 2019, when her husband, Matthew, took his life.

    The couple had just moved from Minneapolis to Charlotte, where Matt took a new position in a private practice. “He felt the move had been a mistake and referred to it as ‘career suicide’” Gall says. “I wanted him to get help and take antidepressants, but he was afraid of losing his medical license if he took medication.” 

    A few months after moving, he ended his life.

    Lynette Eddy, a Reno, NV-based social worker, lost her husband to suicide in 2010. 

    “I watched Bob depart from his own value system over the years, giving up on his true self,” she says. “Unfortunately, he was swayed by money and greed, got involved with gambling, and got in over his head. I had no idea of the life he was leading, but I know he was suffering greatly.”

    Both Gall and Eddy had to find ways to heal and rebuild their lives in the wake of the self-inflicted death of a husband.

    Haunting Questions

    Losing a loved one to suicide is a loss like no other, says Julie Cerel, PhD, professor at the University of Kentucky College of Social Work and director of the Suicide Prevention and Exposure Lab.

    Unlike other causes of death (like illnesses or accidents), which happen to the person, suicide is an act performed by the person who has chosen death, leaving bereaved survivors with guilt and haunting questions, says Cerel, who is the co-author of Seeking Hope: Stories of the Suicide Bereaved.

    “When you lose someone to suicide, you instantaneously become an investigator,” Gall says. “Why did it happen? What did I miss? What could I have done differently? Everyone who knew my husband was asking themselves the same questions. We all blamed ourselves in some way, feeling that we should have been able to anticipate or stop it,” says Gall.

    Eddy agrees. “Survivor’s guilt is super common. I look back and asked myself the same questions a million times.”

    Sometimes, according to Cerel, “we really don’t know what motivated the person.”

    Gall now realizes “there was nothing else we could have done. Mental health issues are excruciatingly difficult. People have to be willing to help themselves, and we can’t force them. Matt refused to go on antidepressants and there was no way I could ‘make’ him do so.”

    Eddy has reached a similar conclusion. “I feel he had some serious things going on and it didn’t matter what we did or didn’t do. I got him to go to counseling, but that didn’t work. I tried to get him to open up, but never got the truth out of him. I know he was suffering and can only imagine how tortured he was. Obviously, I would have done anything I could have done to alleviate that, but he wouldn’t let me in.”

    Stigma, Secrecy, Shame

    Research comparing suicide-bereaved people to people who have sustained other losses has found higher levels of shame, stigma, and feeling the need to hide the loved one’s cause of death. Secrecy often develops, both within the family and toward people outside the family, and can lead to family dysfunction. Withdrawing from social networks and friends can make mourning and recovery more difficult.

    “Many people bereaved by suicide are reluctant to tell others about the cause of death or to talk about it,” Cerel says. “But our research has found that being able to talk openly about the death and the loved one is actually very helpful.”

    Gall and Eddy have spoken openly about their losses. And both have written books describing their experience. Gall is the author of The Illusion of the Perfect Profession and Eddy is the author of The Fight Inside. Both hope that their books will pave the way for deeper understanding of why people might end their lives and how families can cope with such a major loss.

    Family members don’t have to reveal personal details, but memorializing the deceased and allowing people to offer love and support helps with feeling less alone and reduces stigma. 

    ‘Complicated Grief’

    Grief researcher Katherine Shear, MD, writes: “Mourning is the process by which bereaved people seek and find ways to turn the light on in the world again.” Mourning is normal and healthy following loss. But suicide can lead to “complicated grief” (also called prolonged grief), which can “prevent the natural healing process from progressing.”

    Some people feel anger, rejection, or betrayal when their loved one dies by suicide, which can compound their sense of guilt and place them at greater risk for complicated grief. 

    But not everyone reacts that way. “People say to me, ‘you must be so angry at your husband, he betrayed, you, he lied,’ but I never did get angry and I’m not angry today,” Eddy says. 

    She attributes her reaction to her spiritual practice, which has enabled her to “see through the heart” into her husband’s pain. “I know he was suffering greatly and trying to fill a void with quick-fix pleasure.”

    Getting Help

    Cerel encourages suicide-bereaved people to seek professional help if necessary. “They often have symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder or even full-blown PTSD, even if they weren’t there to see the actual event happen.” 

    There are effective treatments for PTSD and complicated grief, as well as other aspects of suicide-related grief, like anger and guilt. Support groups are also helpful, particularly consisting of people bereaved by suicide. Resources can be found at the end of the article.

    “It’s taken thousands of hours on my therapist’s couch to realize that my husband had no more control over his mental illness than his cancer patients had over their cancer,” Gall says. “I’ve accepted that and no longer wake up every morning with that thud in my heart and that searing, searing pain that goes along with the kind of grief I had.”

    Not only family but also friends, classmates, community members, and co-workers can be devastated by a suicide, Cerel points out. Getting professional help or joining a support group can be valuable for them too.

    Spiritual Practice as a Resource

    Gall and Eddy draw upon their spiritual practice for comfort and strength.

    “Faith in a higher power is where I turned first,” says Gall. “I’ve always been a Christian but didn’t go to church every Sunday and wasn’t extremely religious.” In the months before her husband’s death and since then, she’s turned to the Bible and to devotional readings “for some sort of road map as to how to get through the most tumultuous, confusing, awful, torturous, chaotic time of my life.”

    Eddy also draws on her spiritual practice — A Course in Miracles — and mindfulness-based approaches. “The spiritual path I took started years before this even happened and played a huge role in giving me strength.”

    The phrase from A Course in Miracles that had a profound impact on her was: “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Therein lies the peace of God.” In other words, “I feel that there’s an outside drama happening. I can be one of the ‘actors’ in the play or I can ‘watch’ the play and be the observer.” 

    Eddy developed Open-Heart Mindfulness, an approach that involves “observing and witnessing feelings, thoughts, and reactions without becoming judgmental.” She says, “everyone has an ego voice that can drive them to despair, as happened to my husband. But everyone also has another voice — the spirit voice — and we can tune in to that and release our suffering.”

    She advises others: “Grieve, of course, but don’t be identified with the grief. Stay in the witness seat. Understand and be gentle with yourself, and recognize that healing will take time.”

    Spirituality and mindfulness-based approaches don’t resonate with everyone, Cerel points out.

    “Spiritual practices are very individual. Faith or mindfulness may be exactly what some people need, but not others. There are many paths.” And mindfulness doesn’t necessarily mean meditation. Any activity demanding close attention — for example, exercise, art, music, even horseback riding — can bring that quality to the fore. 

    Moving Forward

    As horrific as the experience is of losing a loved one to suicide, some people emerge changed for the better, which is often called “posttraumatic growth,” says Cerel.

    “I think anyone who’s had a traumatic experience that brought them to their knees and stripped them down to the core has a decision to make,” says Eddy.

    “I had identified as Bob’s wife and he was my rock, and everything was about him. Then all of a sudden, that was gone, and I knew I had to reinvent myself, rebuild my life, and do something positive.”

    Eddy, who completed her MSW after the death of her husband, was working with homeless teenagers and decided to open up a facility, Eddy’s House, for this vulnerable population. “It was a deep feeling I had in my spirit as a way of helping young people. It’s been a big healer for me.” She teaches Open-Heart Mindfulness to the teens and feels it’s made a difference in their lives.

    Writing her book contributed to healing. Eddy wanted to shed light on the inner conflicts that had led her husband to die by suicide and to “get the reader to see how, collectively, we have to move toward our authentic selves.”

    Gall wrote her book not only as a way of processing her loss, but also to highlight forces that might drive a doctor to suicide. “I’m sharing my story and Matt’s experience to open up a conversation because our [medical] system is broken.”

    Gall has been able to start feeling joy again. “Life is so precious, and I feel blessed that I had such a beautiful life with Matthew, and I still have a beautiful life, even without him. Difficult some days, but we must move forward. You never ‘move on’ — you only move forward.”

    If you are having suicidal thoughts, call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or text HOME to 741741.

    Resources:

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