ReportWire

Tag: Stephen Colbert

  • Stephen Colbert Imagines a New Hall of Presidents at Disney World

    Stephen Colbert Imagines a New Hall of Presidents at Disney World

    [ad_1]

    Tower of Terror was changed to Mission: Break Out, Splash Mountain has been upgraded to Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, and now another Disney Parks attraction is being eyed for some historically accurate updates. Stephen Colbert has pitched some new dialogue to the Hall of Presidents at Disney World after an orange man will be color-clashing in his new uniform. “I used my mushroom penis to have underwhelming sex with a porn star and then committed a bunch of fraud to hide it,” shared Donald Trump’s newly imagined animatronic before teaching the kiddos what it means to be a felon. “I cannot buy a gun, and I cannot travel to Canada. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my community service.” Thankfully, Disney World has plenty of trash cans.

    [ad_2]

    Alejandra Gularte

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Nails The Media For Treating Trump’s Crimes Like A Regular Political Story

    Stephen Colbert Nails The Media For Treating Trump’s Crimes Like A Regular Political Story

    [ad_1]

    Stephen Colbert called out the media for treating Trump’s crimes like a regular political story that is part of the horse race coverage of the election.

    Colbert said:

    Those three are just today and tomorrow. He’s also facing the January 6th trial in Washington D.C., the classified documents case in Florida, Colorado trying to throw him off the ballot for insurrection, and his appeal of the verdict in the E. Jean Carroll defamation case, in which a jury has already found that Trump committed sexual assault. And yet, people want to hire this maniac to be president.

    In light of all of that, I’d like to make a brief public service announcement: This is [f-ed] up. I know we’ve become numb to it. And is not normal. No other candidate for the presidency has had to end himself in multiple courts. And I’d like to point out that in all seven of his cases, no one doubts that he did these things. We’re just sitting around patiently waiting to find out if the wheels of justice will grind fast enough for there to be any consequences.

    To get more stories like this, subscribe to our newsletter The Daily.

    And the media is covering it like any other political story – it’s all horse race. But in this horse race, one of the horses is old, while the other one is old, has hoof-in-mouth disease, and keeps quoting horse Hitler!

    Video:

    Stephen Colbert was right. One of the reasons why the election coverage is so frustrating is that the media continues to minimize or ignore Trump’s criminal trials as a part of the campaign. It is as if the press decided that the criminal trials are just another facet of an election.

    When they are the opposite of normal. The United States has never had a former president plot a return to the White House while they are facing 91 criminal felony counts. None of this is normal and should not be covered as normal.

    The press is doing a disserve to democracy and the nation. Trump’s alleged crimes are not business as usual, and the press needs to stop treating Trump like he is any other candidate.

    A Special Message From PoliticusUSA

    If you are in a position to donate purely to help us keep the doors open on PoliticusUSA during what is a critical election year, please do so here. 

    We have been honored to be able to put your interests first for 14 years as we only answer to our readers and we will not compromise on that fundamental, core PoliticusUSA value.

    [ad_2]

    Jason Easley

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Delivers One Of The Most Crushing Jokes Ever About Trump

    Stephen Colbert Delivers One Of The Most Crushing Jokes Ever About Trump

    [ad_1]

    Stephen Colbert compared Biden and Trump and called Trump a malicious elderly rapist in a crushing description of the former president.

    Colbert said:

    Last Thursday, we finally got the report from the special counsel investigating Joe Biden’s retention of classified documents, Robert Hur. Hur’s investigation found insufficient evidence to charge the president with a crime. But the report did contain one bombshell. After a 15-month investigation, special counsel Hur has determined Joe Biden is old. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Turns out, he’s not just old.

    Hur said the president could be described as “A sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with poor memory.” Kinda going off road in a report about classified documents. “Your honor, we the jury have reached a verdict. We find the defendant not guilty of murder. But he is ugly and his mother dresses him funny.”

    To get more stories like this, subscribe to our newsletter The Daily.

    Now, here’s the thing. We fact-checked this last Thursday, and it turns out, Joe Biden is old. I said double-check today, and it turns out he’s older. 

    Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. Hur’s extracurricular description of the president reinforces a concern many voters already have about his advanced age. But we are where we are. Unless something drastic happens, it’s Biden versus Trump. Voters are just going to have to choose between a sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory or a contemptible, malicious elderly rapist with a poor memory.  I don’t know what to do.

    Video:

    President Biden is old. This fact should not be a shock to anyone. Donald Trump is also old and likely in worse physical health than the current president. Voters have no idea because Trump refuses to release his medical records.

    No matter how old the two candidates are, the difference is in character. One candidate has been found legally liable for rape by a jury of his peers. This same candidate is also charged with 91 criminal felonies. He was also impeached twice when he was president and tried to overthrow the government after he lost an election.

    The other candidate tries to help people and is well-known for his caring and empathy. He also mixes up names sometimes.

    If you put aside their ages and look at the character of the candidates the choice isn’t difficult.

    Stephen Colbert’s Trump joke highlighted just how easy the choice should be.

    A Special Message From PoliticusUSA

    If you are in a position to donate purely to help us keep the doors open on PoliticusUSA during what is a critical election year, please do so here. 

    We have been honored to be able to put your interests first for 14 years as we only answer to our readers and we will not compromise on that fundamental, core PoliticusUSA value.

     

    [ad_2]

    Jason Easley

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Hilariously Exposes Trump’s Cognitive Fail

    Stephen Colbert Hilariously Exposes Trump’s Cognitive Fail

    [ad_1]

    Stephen Colbert unpacked Trump’s claim of passing a brain injury test to reveal that things didn’t go as well as Trump thinks.

    Colbert played a clip of Trump saying, “They give you six names in a row. I took a lot of heat on this. They give you six names in a row at the beginning. “Sir, I’m gonna give you six names.” Good. Look at them. A chair, a hat, a badge, a necklace, and a vote.”

    The Late Show host responded,  “Okay. There’s a lot to unpack there. First of all, those aren’t names. Those are things. Those aren’t names. He also said they give you six names. Chair, hat, badge, necklace, vote — that’s only five things! ‘Cognitive tests are like jazz. It’s about all the names you don’t remember. A-scooba-doo-da-whaaaale.’”

    Video:

    Trump has been expanding, twisting, turning, and warping the dementia test that he took for years to the point where it has become one of humanity’s great achievements that is right up there with the moon landing.

    Trump can’t even get the number of items on the list correct when he is retelling the story about the cognitive test, so there should be serious doubt that he passed the test in the first place.

    Donald Trump’s cognitive test was probably to be able to identify how many cans of Diet Coke were on the desk in front of him and a picture of Sean Hannity.

    The fact that the former president can’t stop talking about a years-old dementia test suggests that he might need another dementia test.

    A Special Message From PoliticusUSA

    If you are in a position to donate purely to help us keep the doors open on PoliticusUSA during what is a critical election year, please do so here. 

    We have been honored to be able to put your interests first for 14 years as we only answer to our readers and we will not compromise on that fundamental, core PoliticusUSA value.

     

    [ad_2]

    Jason Easley

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Says Trump Should Be In Prison For Raping E. Jean Carroll

    Stephen Colbert Says Trump Should Be In Prison For Raping E. Jean Carroll

    [ad_1]

    Stephen Colbert said Trump should be in prison for being found to have raped E. Jean Carroll during his monologue on The Late Show.

    Colbert said:

    Of course, Trump loves that all the reports are about this fighting in court. Because it distracts people from what this case is actually about. As Mitt Romney said, “I think a lot of people in this country are out of touch with reality and will accept anything Donald Trump tells them. You had a jury that said that Donald Trump raped a woman. And that doesn’t seem to be moving the needle.”

    Well said but to be fair, the jury said it was sexual assault. The judge later clarified the assault would be commonly considered rape. This is the kind of thing that should end with Trump in prison or best case, living alone in a motel by the race track. But every time he gets worse, his poll numbers get better. Which explains his new 2024 slogan “Welcome to hell.”

    Now, trump doesn’t believe he should be held accountable for anything. At 2:00 A.M., he scream-posted “A President Of The United States must have full immunity, without which it would be impossible for him/her to properly function.” No, trump doesn’t believe in any accountability. He believes the presidency should be like the movie “The Purge,” which is why he’s always wearing that weird leather pig mask. But it’s nice. It is nice to see him being inclusive. “I believe the president, whether it be him or her, hispanic or her-spanic, should have a private kill squad to take out all those who dare speak against him. Kill-baya, my lord, kill-baya.”

    Video of Colbert:

    Trump belongs in prison for potentially a lot of reasons, but the fact that he was found guilty of what Judge Kaplan said would be considered rape should not only disqualify Trump from ever being president, but he should be in jail.

    The fact that Trump is a rapist might not move the needle with his base in the Republican  Party, but it definitely moves the needle for the men and women who are followers of Donald Trump. The E. Jean Carroll rape/assault was able to be proven in civil court, but there are dozens of other allegations that have been made against Trump.

    Stephen Colbert is right. Trump should be in jail, and there is no way that he should ever be considered to be the next president.

    A Special Message From PoliticusUSA

    If you are in a position to donate purely to help us keep the doors open on PoliticusUSA during what is a critical election year, please do so here. 

    We have been honored to be able to put your interests first for 14 years as we only answer to our readers and we will not compromise on that fundamental, core PoliticusUSA value.

    [ad_2]

    Jason Easley

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Shares New Harrowing Details On Blood-Poisoning Emergency

    Stephen Colbert Shares New Harrowing Details On Blood-Poisoning Emergency

    [ad_1]

    The “Late Show” host had interviewed Bradley Cooper and drank tequila with chef José Andrés before his wife wisely advised him to go to the hospital.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • New CBS late-night show

    New CBS late-night show

    [ad_1]

    Comedian Taylor Tomlinson on stand-up tour


    Comedian Taylor Tomlinson previews new “Have It All” stand-up tour

    07:15

    The new late-night show “After Midnight,” hosted by Taylor Tomlinson, will premiere on Tuesday, Jan. 16 at 12:37 a.m. ET on CBS, the network announced on Thursday. 

    “With celebrated comedian Taylor Tomlinson at the helm and a panel of guests from the worlds of entertainment, comedy, music, and beyond, After Midnight is a late-night comedy series about what set the internet abuzz that day with a game show feel,” CBS said in a news release, calling it “the smartest show on television about the dumbest things on the internet.”

    The late-night series, a new incarnation of Comedy Central’s “@midnight,” will fill the timeslot that previously featured “The Late Late Show” with James Corden

    Corden taped his last episode in April after eight years and nearly 1,200 episodes as host.

    Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert,” announced Tomlinson, an up-and-coming comedian, as the host back in November. Colbert also serves as an executive producer for the new show. 


    Stephen Colbert Announces Taylor Tomlinson As Host of “After Midnight” – Coming Soon to CBS by
    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on
    YouTube

    Tomlinson, 29, has previously made waves with her Netflix standup specials “Quarter-Life Crisis” and “Look at You.” Before her specials, she appeared on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing” competition series and Netflix’s “The Comedy Lineup.” 

    The show will also be available on streaming on Paramount+, CBS said. 

    Reporting contributed by Kerry Breen

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert buys ‘The Tucker Carlson Network’ website to troll right-wing host

    Stephen Colbert buys ‘The Tucker Carlson Network’ website to troll right-wing host

    [ad_1]

    “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert has purchased a domain name very similar to the one of the newly launched “Tucker Carlson Network.”

    Right-wing fabulist and former Fox News host Carlson introduced supporters to his new streaming service on Monday, promising exclusive interviews, investigative reports and “the unadorned truth.”

    One day later, Colbert — who played a Carlson-esque character for nearly a decade on Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report” — announced on his late-night show that he’s now the proud new owner of the website and domain name “The Tucker Carlson Network.”

    The CBS funnyman joked that Carlson left him an opening by leaving the most-used word in the English language out of his network’s title.

    “It kind of feels incomplete. Doesn’t it feel like he should have called it ‘The Tucker Carlson Network?’” Colbert said. “And he really should have gotten the website TheTuckerCarlsonNetwork.com and he didn’t — but I did.”

    Colbert said he’d use his new website to air his own “exclusive Tucker content.”

    Colbert’s parody site currently features an animated Russian doll resembling Carlson — who famously parrots Kremlin talking points — as it dances above the phrase, “Tucker says, give generously!” Below are links to World Central Kitchen, Donors Choose and the Human Rights Campaign — humanitarian organizations Carlson isn’t likely to support.

    Colbert’s future plans for TheTuckerCarlsonNetwork.com are unclear.

    [ad_2]

    Brian Niemietz

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Spots Terrifying Loophole In Trump’s Dictator-Only-On-Day-One Talk

    Stephen Colbert Spots Terrifying Loophole In Trump’s Dictator-Only-On-Day-One Talk

    [ad_1]

    The “Late Show” host imagined how the Republican front-runner could get around his promise.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Big Cyberpunk Update Added A Classic Keanu Reeves Meme

    Big Cyberpunk Update Added A Classic Keanu Reeves Meme

    [ad_1]

    Cyberpunk 2077 just received a final hurrah via an update that added a number of fixes and new features, such as a working metro system. The new transit system lets V experience a bit more of pedestrian life in Night City, including a few random events on the train. One such event is a recreation of a well-known meme starring Keanu Reeves in a very sad (but relatable) pose.

    Read More: Every Change In Cyberpunk 2077’s Last Big Update

    The meme in question is known as “Sad Keanu,” and it features actor Keanu Reeves (who plays Johnny Silverhand in Cyberpunk 2077) chilling on a bench somewhere, casually eating some food while staring at the ground with a wistful expression. The original image was taken sometime around 2010 by photographer Ron Asadorian, and has since gone on to be a frequent image shared around the internet.

    How to find the ‘Sad Keanu’ meme in Cyberpunk 2077

    To find sad Keanu/sad Johnny, you need to update your game to version 2.1. After that, head to one of the newly opened metro stations (they are purple icons on the game’s map). At the metro, you have a choice of fast travel, or a first-person trip on the game’s metro system. Choose the latter by clicking “Ride metro.”

    After a quick glitched-out screen, you’ll take a seat on the metro and can look out the window as you traverse Night City. Alas, you can’t get up and walk around in the train.

    Sad Keanu is one of at least two randomly occurring events that can occur on the train (another involves someone begging for money). You can just spam the “Ride metro” option until you find him. Once you find him, you can just watch him sulk there, surrounded by some origami pigeons, sandwich in hand.

    Gif: CD Projekt Red / Kotaku

    Back in 2021, Keanu Reeves told Stephen Colbert on The Late Show that contrary to how the image looks, he wasn’t really sad when the photo was taken. “”I had some stuff going on. I was hungry,” he told the host.

    Since Johnny Silverhand can’t eat on account of being an engram and all that (and apparently there’s no smoking allowed on the transit system), I’d like to think sad Johnny is just sad that after blowing up that building the world still sucks. Maybe he really does want to get the band back together, but knows too much time has passed. Or maybe he’s just lonely watching V get all those new romance options. Right there with ya, samurai.

    [ad_2]

    Claire Jackson

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert suffers ruptured appendix;

    Stephen Colbert suffers ruptured appendix;

    [ad_1]

    Late night host Stephen Colbert is recovering from surgery for a ruptured appendix, he said on Monday. “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” which airs on CBS, was canceled this week as Colbert recovers.

    “I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘Turkey overdose, Steve? Gravy boat capsize?’ Actually, I’m recovering from surgery for a ruptured appendix,” Colbert said in social media posts. “I’m grateful to my doctors for their care and to Evie and the kids for putting up with me. Going forward, all emails to my appendix will be handled by my pancreas.”

    A ruptured appendix, also known as a burst appendix, spreads infection throughout the abdomen, a condition called peritonitis. The condition can be life threatening. It requires immediate surgery to remove the appendix and clean the abdominal cavity.

    There was no new show scheduled for Monday night, but Colbert had been set to feature Jennifer Garner, director Baz Luhrmann and guitarist John Scofield on Tuesday; Patrick Stewart and Jon Batiste on Wednesday, and Barbra Streisand and Kelsey Grammer on Thursday. 

    Colbert has hosted “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” on CBS since 2015. From 2005 to 2014 he was the host of Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report.”

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • David Letterman Finally Returns to ‘The Late Show’

    David Letterman Finally Returns to ‘The Late Show’

    [ad_1]

    Letterman’s willingness to appear as a guest on other programs, as well as his conspicuous absence from the show that made him a household name, led some to wonder what was keeping him from returning to his old stomping grounds at The Late Show. Some speculated that it may have had to do with his response to Colbert being selected as his successor, just a week after Letterman announced he was leaving the show.“They didn’t have to put much thought to it, did they?” said Letterman in 2015. “I think [the announcement] was the very next day.” On top of that, Colbert quickly ascended to the top of the late night charts, with The Late Show becoming the highest-rated late night television show two years after he took over—a distinction that eluded Letterman for most of his tenure behind the desk. 

    However, it was all good vibes between the host and guest during Letterman’s visit. Perhaps that’s because Letterman recently appeared on the Strike Force Five podcast, which saw late night hosts Colbert, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and John Oliver join forces while their shows were on hiatus due to the writers’ strike.  On Letterman’s episode, Colbert cleared up how he wound up booking the The Late Show, saying that producers approached him about potentially replacing Letterman in 2013, but that Colbert wanted to confirm that Letterman knew about their conversation before moving forward. Letterman announced his retirement about six months later, in 2014. 

    On the podcast, Letterman told Colbert that while he’d talked to producers about potentially retiring, he never had any conversations with them about Colbert or any other potential replacements. “I’m certain that that part didn’t happen,” said Letterman. Letterman went on to compare the situation to one he faced decades ago, when NBC approached him about becoming a part-time host of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson without running the idea by Carson. Once he found out Carson was in the dark, Letterman turned down the gig and, after an infamous battle with Jay Leno to replace Carson, went on to create The Late Show for CBS in 1993.

    But now, any uncomfortable feelings between Letterman and Colbert seem to be water under the bridge. Toward the end of the segment, Letterman asked to sit behind his desk, for old time’s sake. Colbert happily obliged. “What do you think of my supplies?” Colbert asked. “Was that anything like you had down there?” “What?” Mr. Letterman quipped. “All this weed?”

    [ad_2]

    Chris Murphy

    Source link

  • David Letterman returns to

    David Letterman returns to

    [ad_1]

    Monday night’s episode of “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” featured a guest who needed no introduction: former host David Letterman

    Letterman hosted the show for over 20 years, from 1993 to 2015. His appearance was his first time he had returned to the Ed Sullivan Theater, where the show is filmed, since his retirement eight years ago. 

    The audience greeted Letterman with a warm welcome and applause as he sat down as a guest with Colbert. Even after he took a seat, the crowd continued to chant his name. 

    “Stephen, control your people!” Letterman joked. “This is the most enthusiastic audience I have been near since the night I announced I was quitting.” 

    The comedian said it was a “delight to be back” and that plenty has changed around the theater since he left. 

    “It’s like a mall! It’s unbelievable. It’s like Rodeo Drive,” he said, referencing the popular Beverly Hills, California, shopping street and adding that his dressing room was nicer than any hotel he’d ever stayed in. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the television of the future….I think it’s delightful.” 

    Letterman, who hosted over 4,000 episodes of “The Late Show,” said he misses “everything” about hosting.

    “Very few things in life provide one the opportunity…If you muck one up, you get to try again, and that’s a pretty good device,” Letterman said. “That was great. That made it more and more fun. And then when you do something that you’re really proud of, you think, ‘My God, let’s do that again.’ And six or seven years later, you have that experience once more.” 

    Letterman has appeared on multiple late-night shows since his retirement, but as he told “CBS Sunday Morning” in 2015, he wasn’t sure if his path would ever lead back to “The Late Show” and its home. 

    “I don’t think I’ll ever be back in this building again, honestly,” Letterman said at the time. “I think it would be too difficult for me.” 

    On Monday night, though, he returned to the most familiar part of the theater. Colbert invited Letterman behind the host’s desk so the two could recreate a selfie they took in 2014. 

    “In my day, I never would’ve let this happen,” Letterman joked. “We do this because my son doesn’t believe I had a show.” 

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Exposes ‘Drunk Uncle’ Republican’s Bizarre ‘Screaming’ Rant

    Stephen Colbert Exposes ‘Drunk Uncle’ Republican’s Bizarre ‘Screaming’ Rant

    [ad_1]

    Stephen Colbert got an unexpected “preview” of what many people might experience in their own homes during Thanksgiving gatherings next week.

    “One thing! I want my Republican colleagues to give me one thing ― one! ― that I can go campaign on and say we did,” he yelled during a fiery speech on the House floor.

    Colbert offered three things.

    Roy also called on his colleagues to shut down the government ahead of Thanksgiving as a way of fighting spending “so our kids and our grandkids don’t inherit a bankrupted country and they don’t have to wonder what freedom used to look like while they’re speaking Mandarin.”

    The “Late Show” host was stunned.

    “Wow,” he said. “I don’t know what a shutdown would do to Thanksgiving, but it’s nice to have a preview of what your drunk uncle’s gonna be screaming at the cranberry sauce.”

    See more in his Thursday night monologue:

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Sums Up Trump With 5 Brutal Words

    Stephen Colbert Sums Up Trump With 5 Brutal Words

    [ad_1]

    Donald Trump is a fascist,” Colbert said bluntly on Tuesday night’s “Late Show.”

    Trump, he noted, has been echoing the language used by Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini, such as when he vowed to root out left-wing “vermin” if elected president.

    Colbert came up with a colorful way to describe the need for these reminders of who Trump really is: “It’s important to… metaphorically jam the sharpened stick of knowledge into the soft inner thigh of your mind and just grind it around a little bit to try to reawaken the horror of what our country would be like if this hate-filled dingus and his soulless goons ever get a hold of power again.”

    See more from his Tuesday night monologue:

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Comedian Taylor Tomlinson to host new CBS late-night show “After Midnight.” Here’s what to know about her.

    Comedian Taylor Tomlinson to host new CBS late-night show “After Midnight.” Here’s what to know about her.

    [ad_1]

    Taylor Tomlinson will host a new late-night show airing on CBS called “After Midnight,” a new incarnation of Comedy Central’s “@midnight,” Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert,” announced during his show on Wednesday.

    Colbert first told his audience that there would be a new late-night show and described the ideal host as someone “fun, likable, young, in touch with online trends and available every night of the week.” When he called for suggestions from the audience, Tomlinson raised her hand and joked that she could host. After a few jokes back and forth and an enthusiastic response from the audience, Colbert called Tomlinson up to the stage and introduced her as the official host of the new show. 

    “Please welcome the newest late-night host, Taylor Tomlinson!” Colbert cheered. 


    Stephen Colbert Announces Taylor Tomlinson As Host of “After Midnight” – Coming Soon to CBS by
    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on
    YouTube

    “After Midnight” will air on CBS at 12:37 a.m. ET and stream on Paramount+ beginning in early 2024. 

    It will fill the timeslot that previously featured “The Late Late Show” with James Corden. Corden taped his last episode in April after eight years as host.

    Colbert will be one of the show’s executive producers, according to a news release, along with other representatives of CBS Studios, Funny or Die and Spartina Industries. Jo Firestone will be the show’s head writer, and former “@midnight” showrunner Jack Martin will serve as a co-showrunner alongside Eric Pierce. 

    “@midnight” was an improvised panel game show that aired on Comedy Central from 2013 to 2017 and was hosted by Chris Hardwick. 

    “We are thrilled to be reunited with our friends at Funny Or Die,” said Colbert in the news release announcing the new show. “My hope is that, every night, AFTER MIDNIGHT will be just as ridiculous as the internet is every day. Plus, the original ‘@midnight’ aired after ‘The Colbert Report,’ so welcoming this new show to 12:30 feels like coming home.”

    What else has Taylor Tomlinson been in? 

    Tomlinson, 29, has previously made waves with her Netflix standup specials “Quarter-Life Crisis” and “Look at You.” Before her specials, she appeared on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing” competition series and Netflix’s “The Comedy Lineup.” 

    Tomlinson also hosted a podcast called “Sad in the City,” which ended in 2022, and is in the middle of a national tour. 

    Taylor Tomlinson In Concert
    Comedian Taylor Tomlinson performs at The Brown Theatre in Louisville, Kentucky, on March 25, 2022.

    / Getty Images


    When she was announced as the host of “After Midnight,” Tomlinson joked that it was the first “real job” she had ever been hired for. 

    “I’ve been doing stand-up since I was 16, which is not a job,” she told Colbert. “No job! … So like this has been a really fun couple of months, like, I was on TikTok searching like how to nail a job interview — TikTok is Google for children — and, like, ‘How do you impress your maybe boss?’”

    Colbert said that he and Tomlinson had spoken over Zoom the night before, when he had told her that she would be hosting the show. A screenshot of their conversation captured Tomlinson’s shocked face. 

    screen-shot-2023-11-02-at-12-25-23-pm.png
    A printed screenshot showing Taylor Tomlinson and Stephen Colbert.

    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert


    “When you log onto the Zoom and realize you should have dried your hair and put on more makeup,” Tomlinson joked. “I didn’t know if I got the job. I thought they were calling to let me down easy. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. To me, this is the face of like — you know when you think you’re going to get dumped, but they propose instead?” 

    One of Tomlinson’s final jokes was to reassure audience members who might not be familiar with her work. 

    “I’m 29. So if you don’t know who I am, don’t worry,” she said. “I barely know myself!”

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Hits Trump Where It Hurts With Crack About His ‘Tiny’ Parts

    Stephen Colbert Hits Trump Where It Hurts With Crack About His ‘Tiny’ Parts

    [ad_1]

    The case is centered around a California man’s attempt to trademark the phrase “Trump Too Small” for use on T-shirts and such, which stemmed from strange campaign moment in 2016.

    Colbert rolled the clip of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), then a Trump rival for the Republican presidential nomination, commenting on Trump’s little hands.

    “And you know what they say about men with small hands,” Rubio quipped.

    Colbert was ready with an answer.

    “Small hands, large chance of driving America to some of its darkest moments since the Civil War,” he said, pausing dramatically before completing his punchline: “to compensate for a tiny penis.”

    The audience howled and Colbert responded with a little dance.

    See more in Wednesday night’s “Late Show” monologue:

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Stephen Colbert Gives New GOP Speaker Holy Hell In Epic Biblical Smackdown

    Stephen Colbert Gives New GOP Speaker Holy Hell In Epic Biblical Smackdown

    [ad_1]

    “If the Bible is his worldview on any issue, I don’t know why progressives are nervous,” said Colbert. “He’s clearly gonna ask the rich to sell all their possessions and give the money to the poor.”

    Colbert ― a devout Catholic who references his Christian faith often ― then gave Johnson a few other examples of what that worldview would really entail.

    “Being biblically faithful is not easy for a guy from Louisiana ’cuz now he has to give up shrimp, crab, oysters and barbecue pork,” he said. “And I’m sure he’s gonna miss his wife when she has to be cast out of town during the time of her blood, only to be allowed to return when she brings two turtledoves to the tabernacle for the priest to sacrifice.”

    Colbert noted that Johnson has spoken of a literal interpretation of the events in the Bible, including praise for a Noah’s Ark attraction that depicts humans living alongside dinosaurs.

    “Yes, many early humans had dinosaurs as pets ― it’s right there in the book of Hanna-Barbera,” Colbert said, referring to the creators of “The Flintstones” cartoon, then offered up a reading.

    Check it out in Monday night’s “Late Show” monologue:

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Sen. John Fetterman Points Out 1 Huge Benefit Of Being Disabled

    Sen. John Fetterman Points Out 1 Huge Benefit Of Being Disabled

    [ad_1]

    Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) is woke — at least when it comes to the systemic issues that hold disabled people back from fully engaging in society.

    During an interview on “The Late Show” Wednesday, host Stephen Colbert asked the senator about the assistive technology he was using during their chat.

    In 2022, Fetterman had a near-fatal stroke just days before his landslide win in the Democratic primary that year.

    Since his recovery, Fetterman has relied on closed-captioning technology on a laptop or tablet that helps with the auditory processing issues that resulted from his stroke.

    During his appearance on the late-night talk show, Fetterman said he was “grateful” for the closed captioning and compared it to a more commonly used assistive device.

    “[It] is nothing different than having glasses, like you have,” Fetterman said, referring to Colbert’s glasses. “So, I absolutely can process everything, but sometimes the language gets kind of lost in translation. So, I use this [and] I’m able to interact.”

    Fetterman then explained how engaging in the technology has shifted his perspective on accessibility issues for all disabled people — and has gifted him a valuable new ability.

    “It really made me a fully more empathetic person,” Fetterman said. “And I never thought about captioning before I had the stroke. And now I realize I have to be an advocate for anyone with a disability to have the kind of technology that allows them to fully participate in society.”

    “I can see how being more empathetic might make you a better senator,” Colbert pointed out.

    But Colbert also wondered how Fetterman felt about having “private health become public news.”

    Fetterman responded by saying he was fine with it because he “signed up for that gig” as a public figure, but it should be noted that Colbert’s question was somewhat ignorant. Ableism constantly yields accessibility issues, so disability often becomes a huge part of a disabled person’s identity — even if someone has an invisible disability, like Fetterman.

    Proving he was indeed empathetic, Fetterman decided not to call Colbert out for his question and took aim at a much more egregious perpetrator of ignorance and ableism.

    “The better I get, the [sadder] Fox News becomes,” Fetterman said, noting that his post-stroke conditions are subsiding and that he now relies less on closed captioning. “Because every word I missed was like candy for Fox News, you know? And now … there’s a conspiracy theory that I have a body double now.”

    Sadly, this is true. Colbert even offered a headline from a September Forbes article that cited X posts promoting the conspiracy theory with photographic “evidence” related to the senator’s tattoos. (It should be noted that since Elon Musk took over the company formerly known as Twitter and decided to take away blue check marks from verified sources, there has been evidence of rampant misinformation on the social media platform.)

    Fetterman wrote off the truly ignorant and ableist claim about his purported body double by joking: “I’m actually the body double, and John’s at home, going to be watching this.”

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Sen. John Fetterman Mercilessly Mocks Republicans With Scathing 1-Liner

    Sen. John Fetterman Mercilessly Mocks Republicans With Scathing 1-Liner

    [ad_1]

    Colbert asked Fetterman if it was awkward when he sees those people he’s “put up a devastating meme about” around the Capitol.

    “You all should need to know that America is not sending their best and brightest to Washington, D.C.,” replied Fetterman.

    “Like, sometimes you literally just can’t believe these people are making the decisions that are determining the government here, it’s actually scary too,” he continued, noting how the federal government came thisclose to shutting down thanks to a handful of Republicans.

    “You have some very less gifted kinds of people there that are willing to shut down the government just to score points on Fox,” he added.

    [ad_2]

    Source link