Heading into his final year as Florida governor with no immediate campaign on the horizon, Ron DeSantis has begun to show a more personal, reflective side to himself on social media.
From new posts on his preferences in music (Metallica), coffee (Dunkin), and sports (Stone Cold Steve Austin), DeSantis in the past 10 months has started to use his personal X account to give his fans a peek behind the curtain into his hobbies — a stark change to his past, sparsely personal use of his account.
Some hope it’s a sign of his next career.
“Governor, can you please start a call-in radio show?” one user asked.
Others are confused at the change:
“What are these tweets? You are the greatest governor of all time, but what is going on with this stream of consciousness. I get it 2028 and Vance is good with speaking from the heart. But you are a sledgehammer that’s good enough. Peace and love,” another wrote.
DeSantis has long enjoyed a distinct popularity in right-wing circles on social media. Many fans name their X accounts after him, use his face as their profile pictures, or even AI-generate images of him to represent themselves. Accounts like “DeSantis Appreciation Society,” “Cryptid Politics,” and “Frog Capital” have a combined following of more than 50,000 people, including members of the governor’s staff.
Despite this, DeSantis has largely built a reticent, insulated reputation. He’s run a more private operation, offering few tidbits about himself and the inner-workings of his administration. And while the political machinations haven’t appeared to change, his online presence has begun to shift into the sunshine.
Molly Best, DeSantis’ press secretary, told the Florida Phoenix there is “no underlying reason” for the change in pace “other than his normal interest in tweeting from his personal account.”
On DeSantis’ personal X account, the Phoenix searched from the years 2018 to the present for terms he’s expressed interest in. These includes “baseball,” “golf,” “football,” “Metallica,” “Master of Puppets,” “coffee,” “wrestling,” “Waffle House,” and “AI.”
Here’s what we found:
On music:
In 2025 alone, DeSantis has used his personal account, @RonDeSantis, to post the key word “Metallica” four times; “Nirvana,” twice; and “Master of Puppets,” four times. This compares to zero mentions in the past.
“If you compare the music/bands from the last 30 years (1995-2025) to the previous 30 years (1965-1995) it isn’t even close: From 1965-1995 you have the Beatles/Stones/Zepplin/Hendrix era; Elvis was still in the building; the rise of southern rock including Skynrd; epic country from Johnny Cash to Waylon; pop icons like Michael Jackson; mainstream rock bands like U2; metal legends including Metallica/GnR; the start of alternative rock … and so much more. Music from that era has stood — and will continue to stand — the test of time,” one deep-dive DeSantis thought from Aug. 16 reads.
On the same day, he mused, “Epic year — and it signaled the evolution from metal/hair rock towards grunge/alternative rock. I’d take Appetite for Destruction and Master of Puppets if I had to choose between albums from the mid-to-late 80s vs the early 90s.”
Also on Aug. 16, he shared, “November Rain by GnR and One by Metallica are two of my favorite music videos of all time.”
On food and drink:
DeSantis on Monday showed a preference for Dunkin’ Donuts over Starbucks, and black coffee over sugary, cream-filled lattes. He posted three times about coffee on his personal account, compared to once in 2018.
“Demand for coffee in America = inelastic,” he wrote. “People will pony up before changing their habits when it comes to that cup of Joe.”
On food, he revealed three times this year that he likes Waffle House (and prefers it to Cracker Barrel). “We haven’t been in a few months — the last time we tried there was a line of (hungover?) college students and it’s hard to wait long with three young kids so we bailed,” he wrote.
He had not posted anything about Waffle House on his personal account before this year.
On sports:
Sports are one of the governor’s most prevalent interests on social media and in press conferences. From football to baseball to golf to wrestling, he likes it all.
This year, he posted with the key word “baseball” 10 times — nine of which were in October. This compares to just one post in 2024 and two in 2018.
Many of these posts center on a perceived growing uninterest in the sport, which DeSantis played at Yale University. A star player and captain of the team, the now-47-year-old posted various analyses about why the sport may have fallen by the wayside, including a 1994 MLB strike and a slower drafting process.
“Golf” made it into 11 posts this year, 10 of them in September, compared to just two in 2024. Many weighed the governor’s favorite golf courses. DeSantis is prolific golfer, and has posted video of his young son golfing. DeSantis and First Lady Casey DeSantis met at a University of North Florida golf course in 2006.
Wrestling, meanwhile, earned three mentions compared to zero in previous years, while “Stone Cold Steve Austin” had two.
“Maybe Stone Cold Steve Austin can be the referee and then drop a stunner on Tampon Tim at the opportune time,” he posted in March. The reference is to Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz.
Football also saw spikes in interest from DeSantis in 2025, along with “championship,” “undefeated,” and “ranked.”
Not all of his new subject areas are apolitical, however. This year alone, he’s used his personal account to deride artificial intelligence 13 times. He hadn’t mentioned it before then.
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Instagram chief Adam Mosseri and Snap CEO Evan Spiegel will have to testify in an upcoming trial that deals with social media safety and whether the executives’ platforms are addictive. A Los Angeles judge ruled that the three men will need to testify in the trial set to begin in January, according toCNBC.
“The testimony of a CEO is uniquely relevant, as that officer’s knowledge of harms, and failure to take available steps to avoid such harms could establish negligence or ratification of negligent conduct,” Judge Carolyn B. Kuhl wrote. As CNBC points out, the January trial will be closely watched as it’s the first of many lawsuits alleging harms to young social media users that will head to trial.
Lawyers for Meta and Snap had argued that the executives should be spared from testifying at the upcoming trial. Meta’s lawyers reportedly argued that forcing testimony from Zuckerberg and Mosseri would “set a precedent” for future trials. Meta is currently facingnumerouslawsuits over alleged harms to younger users of its platforms. The company didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.
Snap is also facing a number of lawsuits over alleged safety issues. In a statement, the law firm representing Snap said that the judge’s order “does not bear at all on the validity of Plaintiffs claims” and that they “look forward to the opportunity to explain why Plaintiffs’ allegations against Snapchat are wrong factually and as a matter of law. “
The complexity of the U.S. healthcare system is only one reason it’s more important than ever for workers and employers to have a proper handle on workplace benefits. In a rapidly changing labor market, coupled with shifting employee expectations, the right benefits package can be a big motivator for workers, and a draw for highly qualified job applicants. But a new report suggests that many employers may not be adequately explaining their companies’ benefits to their employees. It’s a wakeup call for business onwers to drag their communications into the 21 century and educate people versus the social media platform that are the source of most of their online information.
According to a new survey from New York-based financial services outfit Equitable, younger members of the workforce are turning to online sources and social media to help them properly understand the workplace benefits they’re offered. You might think “great! Job done…less effort for the HR team!” but the data shows otherwise: some 40 percent of the 1,000 people Equitable surveyed said they didn’t feel confident in understanding the voluntary benefits their employer offered. And while the data show 55 percent of all workers “still rely on HR materials and information sessions from employers to understand their workplace benefits,” 37 percent of Gen-Z have used social platforms like TikTok, Instagram, Reddit and even YouTube (that great source of “how to” videos) to seek out benefits information — the highest percentage of any generation responding to the survey. Meanwhile, Millennials lead the age groups who use AI for the same info: fully 30 percent say they’ve used AI like this.
What’s driving the trend of people trying to figure out benefits on their own? It may be mostly about medical costs in the complex, layered U.S. health system. Equitable’s data show 80 percent of Americans think an unplanned medical expense — like an accident, or a sudden serious illness — could “derail” their long term financial planning. Younger workers are more anxious, with 89 percent of Gen-Z and Millennial workers feeling this way, compared to 65 percent of baby boomers. This could be thanks to the macroeconomic financial disparities between generations, with report after report showing how the boomer generation has money set aside in ways that’re inaccessible to younger generations.
The amounts of money concerned aren’t that onerous, either: Equitable’s data show that over a quarter of the people who say an unexpected bill could upset their plans pin the financially damaging limit at around $1,000.
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Why should you care about this?
Equitable’s report has a clear reason for you: it notes that a survey of over 500 small to medium-size businesses, nearly every respondent said voluntary workplace benefits are “key to attracting and retaining employees.” And nearly three in four small business owners think these benefits show that they’re caring and committed employers. Reputations like this, a recent report showed, are perhaps more important than they’ve ever been.
But the same survey said four in 10 employers said low participation was a barrier for them offering or expanding voluntary benefits. What may be driving this? Overly complex, old-fashioned pamphlets perhaps? Or a benefits education program that’s slightly out of date with current offerings from third party suppliers?
The big take-away is that younger workers really are looking for meaningful workplace benefits when they’re choosing which jobs to apply for — and emphasizing those that can benefit their mental health. As Gen-Z joins the workforce in increasing numbers, this is definitely something you need to plan for, lest you may miss out on excellent new talent.
The added bonus was, of course, that his mom is “kind of his best friend,” and his dog, Morty, had more people to give him attention. He also contributed to household chores, fixing his parents’ boat, taking out the trash, and bringing in deliveries when they came to the door. He ended up staying for almost 10 months, working from home and spending most of his time developing an app.
A competitive weightlifter, he describes himself as “not too political.” He says that some “trad sons” who live at home stand outside of “normal masculinity,” as he puts it. “Is it because you’re living at home because of the pressure, you can’t go out, and you can’t live your life?” he asks. But in his case, “it’s intelligent; it’s efficient,” he says. “Things happen in your life, and if you’re doing it because you have a good opportunity, kind of like how I was, and it truly is temporary.”
For other trad sons, the decision to move home was less of an afterthought and more of a choice. Take 33-year-old Luke Jonathan Parkhurst, who quit his job as a door-to-door salesman to move in with his mom, Patty, in Las Vegas. “What prompted it is, I just wanted to,” he tells Vanity Fair. “I packed up and moved home and sold my house.”
Patty was entirely supportive of his decision. “We don’t know, especially men, where their mental health is; they’re always taught not to cry, be strong,” she says. “All my kids really did launch early in life, including Luke. If any of them needed a reset, I want to be that person that can be there for them.”
A typical day for Parkhurst as a “hub-son,” the phrase his mom coined in an interview with The New York Post, starts with going to the gym while she walks his dog. He’ll then use her Costco card to get groceries, head home, and cook them lunch. After that, the afternoon agenda consists of lying by the pool, doing the chores, and then watching his nieces and nephews play soccer.
Police have arrested a 20-year-old man for allegedly assaulting a middle-aged man who interjected himself into Denver’s downtown No Kings demonstration, shouted expletives and a slur, then fell in a street fracas and suffered a serious injury.
The assault occurred after the older man declared: “‘Yes Trump,’” according to a Denver Police report.
A video circulating on social media showed the older man, wearing a blue New York Giants logo shirt, gesturing at and deriding demonstrators on Saturday afternoon as they rallied near Denver’s Union Station. The man ran and fell against pavement on his face, the video shows.
He got up and ran, again, then was tripped and fell onto the street by a curb against his head. Bleeding, he got up again and, with friends, ran, and clashed with demonstrators. Some demonstrators tried to help him, pointing to his head suggesting he needed medical care as blood covered the left side of his face.
Denver police on Monday confirmed they arrested Jose Cardenas after tracking him from Wynkoop Street, where the assault occurred at about 2:30 p.m., to North Lincoln Street near the intersection with 14th Avenue, “where Cardenas attempted to run from officers.” Witnesses identified Cardenas as the one who assaulted the counter demonstrator, the police statement of probable cause for arrest said. “Cardenas was transported to the Denver Jail and charged with aggravated assault.”
Police did not identify the victim. The report said he suffered “a serious laceration to his head.”
Ahmed Othman isn’t on TikTok and doesn’t want to be.
He and his younger sister got iPhones when they were in eighth and seventh grade respectively, but with no social media, just iMessage. Their parents, who are both computer scientists, spent the next year teaching them about social media, bombarding them with studies about its effects on teen mental health.
“They really tried to emphasize social media is a tool, but can also be like your worst enemy if you so make it,” Othman said.
Now 17, Othman credits his parents’ deep involvement for what he calls a “healthy relationship” with his phone. That includes staying away from TikTok.
“The algorithm is so potent that I feel like, you know, TikTok might not benefit me,” he said.
Othman, who’s originally from Libya and lives in Massachusetts, is an outlier among his peers, nearly two-thirds of whom are on TikTok either with or without their parents’ permission, according to the Pew Research Center.
Othman’s parents took a middle ground approach that a growing number of experts say is the most realistic and effective way of teaching children about social media: Rather than an outright ban or allowing free reign, they recommend a slow, deliberate onboarding that gives children the tools and information they need to navigate a world in which places like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat are almost impossible to escape.
“You cannot just expect that the kids will jump into the world of social media, learn how to swim on their own,” said Natalie Bazarova, a professor of communications and director of the Cornell Social Media Lab. “They need to have instruction. They need to have practice on how to behave on social media. They need to have understanding of risks and opportunities. And they also need to learn that in a way that is age appropriate.”
FEW GUARDRAILS
The harms to children from social media have been well-documented in the two decades since Facebook’s launch ushered in a new era in how the world communicates. Kids who spend more time on social media, especially when they are tweens or young teenagers, are more likely to experience depression and anxiety, according to multiple studies — though it is not yet clear if there is a causal relationship.
Many are exposed to content that is not appropriate for their age, including pornography and violence. They also face bullying, sexual harassment and unwanted advances from their peers as well as adult strangers. Because their brains are not fully developed, teenagers are also more affected by social comparisons than adults, so even happy posts from friends could send them into a negative spiral.
Lawmakers have taken notice and have held multiple congressional hearings — most recently in January — on child online safety. Still, the last federal law aimed at protecting children online was enacted in 1998, six years before Facebook’s founding.
Last May, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued a warning saying there is not enough evidence to show that social media is safe for kids and urged policymakers to address the harms of social media the same way they regulate things like car seats, baby formula, medication and other products children use. Parents, he stressed, can’t do it all, although some — like Othman’s — try.
Othman at first wanted a phone “with everything on it, no restrictions.”
“But like now, after the years passed, I really do understand and appreciate what they did,” he said.
WHEN IT’S NOT ENOUGH
Of course, the Othmans’ approach may not work for every family. Most parents are not computer scientists, and many don’t have the time or expertise to create a crash-course on social media for their children.
But even when parents are vigilant, that’s still no guarantee their children won’t fall prey to social media’s traps.
Neveen Radwan thought she did everything right when she gave her children phones: putting restrictions on their accounts, having access to their passwords, taking away their phones at night, setting everything to private.
“I made sure that everything was very, very, you know, airtight,” said Radwan, who worked in information technology for 20 years.
Her daughter didn’t get a phone until she was 13. She started using social media in the eighth grade. When she was 16, she was diagnosed with anorexia.
“We were right in the beginning of (the COVID lockdowns) and it progressed very quickly because we were at home and she was on social media quite a bit at the time,” Radwan recalled.
An avid athlete, the teen started looking for workouts and ways to stay healthy on Instagram. Soon, though, the algorithm began showing her social media challenges like “how to stay under 500 calories a day” and “if you want to stay skinny, you need to be able to fit in a baby swing.” Within two or three months, Radwan said her daughter was in the hospital.
Today, Radwan speaks about the harms of social media to teens and has joined a lawsuit against Facebook and Instagram parent company Meta Platforms Inc. that seeks to hold the tech giant accountable for the harms its platforms have caused to children and teens. Her daughter has recovered and is attending college.
ARE SCHOOLS THE ANSWER?
While parents are definitely part of the equation, most of the the teens and experts interviewed by The Associated Press pointed to schools as the key place where all children can learn about “digital citizenship,” the umbrella term that includes news media literacy, cyberbullying, social media balance and now even artificial intelligence literacy.
“We have sex education. We don’t have things about like online safety,” said Bao Le, a 18-year-old freshman at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. “And a lot of kids are dying of suicide, you know, text sextortion. So I think it’s really important the school also teaches this.”
But while some schools offer digital literacy or online safety programs, these are still few and far between. Teachers already face pressure to teach the regular curriculum while also dealing with staffing shortages and funding issues. Not only that, but kids are often encouraged to be on social media if they want to participate in extracurricular activities and other school programs.
Some schools opt to ban phones altogether, but just as with parental bans, kids often find a way. For instance, at schools that collect the gadgets from kids in the morning, students say they get around it by turning in fake phones. To get around parental bans, they set up social media accounts on friends’ phones, computers or buy burner phones to keep using after they have turned in their official phone.
“Hope is not a strategy. And pretending that (social media) doesn’t exist is also not a strategy, because we have to deal with real life,” said Merve Lapus, vice president of education outreach at the nonprofit Common Sense Media, whose digital citizenship curriculum is used in more than 90,000 schools in the U.S. “Our kids are being exposed to it in some shape or form. They’re hearing about it with their friends. The pressure to feel connected has not changed. I mean, these are all pressures we felt as kids.”
To really connect with kids, he said, it’s best to get deeper into the pressures they face when it comes to social media, and validate that those are real pressures.
“I think that’s one of the challenges right now, is that it becomes the center of attention only when it’s problematic,” Lapus said. “And so we frame these tools as only problematic tools very easily, very quickly, and our kids will say, you just don’t get it, I can’t talk to you about these things because you don’t understand.”
NONPROFITS STEP UP
Over the past decade or so, nonprofits and advocacy groups — many run by young people who emerged from their own struggles with social media — have popped up to offer help.
Larissa May stumbled on to social media a decade ago when she was in high school “without any roadmap” on its dangers or how to use it. May said she was dealing with depression and anxiety that social media exacerbated. In college, she became “obsessed” with social media and digital marketing, running a fashion blog where she was posting on every day.
“I got to a point where I was spending 12-plus hours a day on my phone in my room, more focused on my digital identity than the world around me, my mental health, my physical health, my sleep,” May recalled. She almost took her own life.
The turning point came when May started going to a psychiatrist almost every day, with clear instructions of what she needed to do: Take antidepressants, start moving her body sleep, and start socializing.
“However, I was spending all of my day on my phone, which they never addressed, and being on my phone prevented me from doing all of those things,” May said. “And it wasn’t until one day where I had this, you know, midnight thought of, why can I not heal? And it was because I hadn’t healed my relationship with technology.”
So, she shut down her fashion blog and started HalfTheStory in 2015, with the intent of gathering stories from young people such as Othman to understand how social media was affecting them.
“And what I found out was that I wasn’t alone in my struggle,” she said.
Today, HalfTheStory works with young people to build better relationships with technology, on their own terms, starting in middle school even before some kids have a device.
To May, abstinence is not the answer to teens’ problems with social media.
“What I learn from every single one of our teens is that they wish their parents had more boundaries for them,” she said. “And I think that parents feel afraid because honestly, a lot of violence and conflict erupts around devices.”
It’s dangerous. It’s addictive. Get off your phone.
Kids constantly hear about the downsides of social media from the adults in their lives, often in the form of dire warnings and commands. But these adults did not grow up with social media themselves.
They didn’t get a phone handed to them as toddlers, just to keep them quiet in a restaurant. They didn’t join TikTok’s predecessor Musica.ly and do silly dances before they even learned to read. They didn’t have their schools shut down in a global pandemic, their connections to friends and peers relegated to phone and computer screens.
Kids coming of age with social media are forging ahead in a whole new world. And now that they are getting older, they have some advice for their younger peers.
Here’s what they wish they knew when they first got online.
Bao Le, 18, sits for a photo on Tuesday, April 23, 2024, in Nashville, Tenn. (AP Photo/George Walker IV)
Bao Le, 18, sits for a photo on Tuesday, April 23, 2024, in Nashville, Tenn. (AP Photo/George Walker IV)
You don’t have to share everything
“It’s so easy to look at your friends’ stories and feel this feeling of FOMO, of missing out and comparing yourself, like: ‘Oh, my friend just got a new car.’ It’s like this overwhelming sense of comparison. But the things that people post on social media, it’s just the highlight reel, like the 1% of their life that they want to showcase to other people.”
BAO LE, 18, a freshman at Vanderbilt University
This article is part of AP’s Be Well coverage, focusing on wellness, fitness, diet and mental health. Read more Be Well.
Doreen Malata, 22, a senior at University of Maryland, poses for a photo on Saturday, March 2, 2024, in College Park, Md. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
Doreen Malata, 22, a senior at University of Maryland, poses for a photo on Saturday, March 2, 2024, in College Park, Md. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
Don’t take it too seriously
“My main point of advice would be not to take it too seriously. Be yourself. I feel like what I was exposed to as a 12-year-old was much more limited than what is accessible to 12–year-olds nowadays. Younger kids want to be who they idolize. And when the TikTok stars or the social media stars are 20, 18, 16, they’re going to want to be like them. You’re getting younger kids that are now obsessing over products and brands, and it’s just getting really hard to be young. And it shouldn’t be really hard to be young. You should be enjoying childhood. And we shouldn’t be rushing to grow up. It’s OK to be 12. It’s OK to be young. It’s OK to enjoy childhood.”
DOREEN MALATA, 22, a senior at the University of Maryland
Sienna Keene, 17, poses for photos in Orinda, Calif., Monday, April 29, 2024. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)
Sienna Keene, 17, poses for photos in Orinda, Calif., Monday, April 29, 2024. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)
“It seems like it would be really easy to just put your phone down and stop scrolling. But it is not. If there was advice that I could give to my younger self, it would be to tell my parents to set up time limits for me — even though I would have never said that when I was starting social media. Also, I personally would not let my kid have TikTok. I would try to resist it as long as I could. It’s so addictive.”
SIENNA KEENE, 17, a high school senior in Orinda, California
Ava Havidic, 18, poses outside her high school, Wednesday, April 24, 2024, in Tamarac, Fla. (AP Photo/Marta Lavandier)
Ava Havidic, 18, poses outside her high school, Wednesday, April 24, 2024, in Tamarac, Fla. (AP Photo/Marta Lavandier)
Take a social media detox
“When you first get these apps, it hits you — like, BOOM, there is so much content. Styles, fashion models. It really impacts you heavily when you first get it, this feeling of: ‘How do they do it? How do they look like this? How do they get clothes like that?’ When you’re new to social media, these trends can overtake you. I started to use screentime (monitoring) on my phone and limit the amount of time I am on social media. I’ve been taking phone detoxes. On weekends, I’ll take a social media detox for 10 hours or the majority of the day. I’ll hang out with my family, ride my bike. I only have notifications for my messages and workspaces. I don’t have any notifications on for social media apps.”
AVA HAVIDIC, 18, a high school senior in Broward County, Florida
Lea Nepomuceno, 18, a freshman at George Washington University, poses on Saturday, March 2, 2024, in Washington, D.C. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
Lea Nepomuceno, 18, a freshman at George Washington University, poses on Saturday, March 2, 2024, in Washington, D.C. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
You are the one in control
“Often I hear the term “social media user,” but I felt like I was being used by social media. I had this routine of scrolling mindlessly through TikTok, just scrolling and scrolling and comparing myself to other people. It ultimately really affected my body image, my perception of what was considered beautiful or accepted into society. But the only thing I was getting out of social media was feeling fatigued, or I would feel sad.
You can use social media to amplify your passions, but in order to do that you need to do a lot of work outside of social media, to discover who you are as a person, what matters to you and what contributions you can make to the world.”
LEA NEPOMUCENO, 18, a freshman at George Washington University
Mikael Makonnen, 18, a freshman at American University, poses for a photo in Washington, D.C, on Saturday, March 2, 2024. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
Mikael Makonnen, 18, a freshman at American University, poses for a photo in Washington, D.C, on Saturday, March 2, 2024. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
“I would say just don’t use it. It’s kind of a waste of time. You’re just having conversations about pointless things, random pop culture stuff. It just sucks your time. You’re not really getting anything out of it, just short-term satisfaction. It’s kind of meaningless. I know this is kind of outlandish, but I feel like there should be some sort of age limit because I don’t think children should be on the internet.”
MIKAEL MAKONNEN, 18, a freshman at American University
Nour Mahmoud, 21, a junior at Virginia Commonwealth University, is shown on Saturday, March 2, 2024, in Richmond, Va. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
Nour Mahmoud, 21, a junior at Virginia Commonwealth University, is shown on Saturday, March 2, 2024, in Richmond, Va. (AP Photo/Almaz Abedje)
“A lot of people make their life artificial so that they’re perceived in a certain way. And I think going into social media, I wish I knew it is a tool to learn from. There’s so much information, and you’re able to learn so much about different things. … I wish people had that outlook rather than the whole idea of other people viewing you and having to be seen a certain way.”
NOUR MAHMOUD, 21, a junior at Virginia Commonwealth University
Madeleine Maestre, 18, a freshman at Santa Clara University, poses for photos in Santa Clara, Calif., Friday, May 3, 2024. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)
Madeleine Maestre, 18, a freshman at Santa Clara University, poses for photos in Santa Clara, Calif., Friday, May 3, 2024. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)
It’s OK to put up boundaries and block someone
“You can’t scroll on TikTok or look through Instagram without seeing supermodels who have edited their photos and are promoting unrealistic beauty standards. I don’t want to see these girls who pretend to be fitness influencers but are just promoting an eating disorder like “body checking” on my feed. That is one thing I wish I knew when I started: that it is OK to not want to look at that or want to consume it. It’s OK to protect yourself and your own body image. Another thing I wish I knew is that not everyone on social media is your friend. When you are young and impressionable and people are reaching out to you, just know that not everyone is as friendly as you think they are.”
MADELEINE MAESTRE, 18, a freshman at Santa Clara University
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Interviews by Almaz Abedje, Jocelyn Gecker and Barbara Ortutay
When she was in fifth grade, Anna Goddard’s daughter started to worry about getting wrinkles. She used adult skin care products she saw on social media and the harm was more than skin deep.
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — When she was in fifth grade, Scarlett Goddard Strahan started to worry about getting wrinkles.
By the time she turned 10, Scarlett and her friends were spending hours on TikTok and YouTube watching influencers tout products for achieving today’s beauty aesthetic: a dewy, “glowy,” flawless complexion. Scarlett developed an elaborate skin care routine with facial cleansers, mists, hydrating masks and moisturizers.
One night, Scarlett’s skin began to burn intensely and erupted in blisters. Heavy use of adult-strength products had wreaked havoc on her skin. Months later, patches of tiny bumps remain on Scarlett’s face, and her cheeks turn red in the sun.
“I didn’t want to get wrinkles and look old,” says Scarlett, who recently turned 11. “If I had known my life would be so affected by this, I never would have put these things on my face.”
Scarlett’s experience has become common, experts say, as preteen girls around the country throng beauty stores to buy high-end skin care products, a trend captured in viral videos with the hashtag #SephoraKids. Girls as young as 8 are turning up at dermatologists’ offices with rashes, chemical burns and other allergic reactions to products not intended for children’s sensitive skin.
This article is part of AP’s Be Well coverage, focusing on wellness, fitness, diet and mental health. Read more Be Well.
“When kids use anti-aging skin care, they can actually cause premature aging, destroy the skin barrier and lead to permanent scarring,” says Dr. Brooke Jeffy, a Scottsdale, Arizona, dermatologist who has posted her own social media videos rebutting influencers’ advice.
Scarlett Goddard Strahan, 11, poses for a portrait at her home on Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2024, in Sacramento, Calif. (AP Photo/Juliana Yamada)
Scarlett Goddard Strahan, 11, poses for a portrait at her home on Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2024, in Sacramento, Calif. (AP Photo/Juliana Yamada)
More than the physical harm, parents and child psychologists worry about the trend’s effects on girls’ mental health — for years to come. Extensive data suggests a fixation on appearance can affect self-esteem and body image and fuel anxiety, depression and eating disorders.
The skin care obsession offers a window into the role social media plays in the lives of today’s youth and how it shapes the ideals and insecurities of girls in particular. Girls are experiencing high levels of sadness and hopelessness. Whether social media exposure causes or simply correlates with mental health problems is up for debate. But to older teens and young adults, it’s clear: Extended time on social media has been bad for them, period.
Viral skincare products from Bubble, West & Month, and Bolero sit on 11-year-old Scarlett Goddard Strahan’s dresser at her home on Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2024, in Sacramento, Calif. (AP Photo/Juliana Yamada)
Viral skincare products from Bubble, West & Month, and Bolero sit on 11-year-old Scarlett Goddard Strahan’s dresser at her home on Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2024, in Sacramento, Calif. (AP Photo/Juliana Yamada)
Young girls’ fascination with makeup and cosmetics is not new. Neither are kids who hold themselves to idealized beauty standards. What’s different now is the magnitude, says Kris Perry, executive director of Children and Screens, a nonprofit that studies how digital media impacts child development. In an era of filtered images and artificial intelligence, some of the beautiful faces they encounter aren’t even real.
“Girls are being bombarded with idealized images of beauty that establish a beauty standard that could be very hard — if not impossible — to attain,” Perry says.
Scarlett Goddard Strahan, 11, and her mom Anna Goddard pose for a portrait at their home on Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2024, in Sacramento, Calif. (AP Photo/Juliana Yamada)
Scarlett Goddard Strahan, 11, and her mom Anna Goddard pose for a portrait at their home on Tuesday, Aug. 20, 2024, in Sacramento, Calif. (AP Photo/Juliana Yamada)
Saving allowances for Sephora hauls
The obsession with skin care is about more than the pursuit of perfect skin, explains 14-year-old Mia Hall.
It’s about feeling accepted and belonging to a community that has the lifestyle and look you want, says Mia, a New Yorker from the Bronx.
Skin care was not on Mia’s radar until she started eighth grade last fall. It was a topic of conversation among girls her age — at school and on social media. Girls bonded over their skin care routines.
Mia Hall, 14, poses for a portrait in her neighborhood park while holding some skin care products she uses regularly on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in the Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
Mia Hall, 14, poses for a portrait in her neighborhood park while holding some skin care products she uses regularly on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in the Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
“Everyone was doing it. I felt like it was the only way I could fit in,” says Mia. She started following beauty influencers like Katie Fang and Gianna Christine, who have millions of young followers on TikTok. Some influencers are paid by brands to promote their products, but they don’t always mention that.
Mia got hooked on “Get Ready With Me” videos, where influencers film themselves getting ready — for school, for a night out with friends, packing for a trip. The hashtag #GRWM has over 150 billion views on TikTok.
“It’s like a trance. You can’t stop watching it,” Mia says. “So when they tell me, ‘Go buy this product’ or, ‘I use this and it’s amazing,’ it feels very personal. Getting what they have makes me feel connected to them.”
Mia started saving her $20 weekly allowance for trips with friends to Sephora. Her daily routine included a face wash, a facial mist, a hydrating serum, a pore-tightening toner, a moisturizer and sunscreen. Most were luxury brands like Glow Recipe, Drunk Elephant or Caudalie, whose moisturizers can run $70.
Mia Hall, 14, poses for a portrait in her neighborhood park on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
Mia Hall, 14, poses for a portrait in her neighborhood park on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
Mia Hall, 14, watches Katie Fang GRWM videos on Tik Tok on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
Mia Hall, 14, watches Katie Fang GRWM videos on Tik Tok on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
“I get really jealous and insecure a lot when I see other girls my age who look very pretty or have an amazing life,” she says.
The level of detail and information girls are getting from beauty tutorials sends a troubling message at a vulnerable age, as girls are going through puberty and searching for their identities, says Charlotte Markey, a body image expert and Rutgers University psychologist.
“The message to young girls is that, ‘You are a never-ending project to get started on now.’ And essentially: ‘You are not OK the way you are’,”’ says Markey, author of “The Body Image Book for Girls.”
Products promoting youth, purchased by kids
The beauty industry has been cashing in on the trend. Last year, consumers under age 14 drove 49% of drug store skin sales, according to a NielsonIQ report that found households with teens and tweens were outspending the average American household on skin care. And in the first half of 2024, a third of “prestige” beauty sales, at stores like Sephora, were driven by households with tweens and teens, according to market research firm Circana.
Mia Hall, 14, regular skincare products on display on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
Mia Hall, 14, regular skincare products on display on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
The cosmetics industry has acknowledged certain products aren’t suitable for children but has done little to stop kids from buying them. Drunk Elephant’s website, for example, recommends kids 12 and under should not use their anti-aging serums, lotions and scrubs “due to their very active nature.” That guidance is on the site’s FAQ page; there are no such warnings on the products themselves.
Sephora declined to comment for this story.
Ingredients like retinol and chemical exfoliants like hydroxy acids are inherently harsh. For aging skin, they are used to stimulate collagen and cell production. Young or sensitive skin can react with redness, peeling and burning that can lead to infections, acne and hypersensitivity if used incorrectly, dermatologists say.
A California bill aimed at banning the sale of anti-aging skin care products to children under age 13 failed this spring, but Democratic Assemblymember Alex Lee says he plans to continue pursuing industry accountability. Lee and other critics say popular brands use colorful packaging and product names like “Baby facial” to attract younger buyers in the same way that e-cigarette companies and alcohol brands created fruity flavors that appeal to underage users.
Lee points to Europe as setting the right example. The European Union enacted legislation last year that limits the concentration of retinol in all over-the-counter products. And one of Sweden’s leading pharmacy chains, Apotek Hjartat, said in March it would stop selling anti-aging skin care products to customers under 15 without parental consent. “This is a way to protect children’s skin health, finances and mental well-being,” the company said.
One mother ‘got rid of them all’
Around the country, concerned mothers are visiting dermatologists with their young daughters, carrying bags filled with their child’s skin care products to ask: Are these OK?
“Often the mothers are saying exactly what I am but need their child to hear it from an expert,” says Dr. Dendy Engelman, a Manhattan dermatologist. “They’re like, ‘Maybe she’ll listen to you because she certainly doesn’t listen to me.’”
Mia’s mother, Sandra Gordon, took a different approach. Last spring, she noticed dark patches on Mia’s face and became alarmed. Gordon, a nurse, threw all her daughter’s products into the trash.
“There were Sephora bags on top of bags. Some things were opened, some not opened, some were full. I got rid of them all,” she says.
Mia wasn’t happy. But as she starts high school, she now feels her mother was right. She has switched to a simple routine, using just a face wash and moisturizer, and says her complexion has improved.
Mia Hall, 14, poses for a portrait in her neighborhood park on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
Mia Hall, 14, poses for a portrait in her neighborhood park on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, in Bronx borough of New York. (AP Photo/Brittainy Newman)
In Sacramento, California, Scarlett missed early signs the products were hurting her skin: She developed a rash and felt a stinging sensation, within days of trying out viral skin care products. Scarlett figured she wasn’t using enough, so she layered on more. That’s when her cheeks erupted in blistering pain.
“It was late at night. She came running into my room crying. All of her cheeks had been burned,” recalls Anna Goddard, Scarlett’s mother, who hadn’t realized the extent of Scarlett’s skin care obsession.
When Goddard read the ingredients in each product, she was shocked to find retinol in products that appeared to be marketed to children — including a facial sheet mask with a cat’s face on the packaging.
What worries her mother most is the psychological consequences. Kids’ comments at school have caused lingering anxiety and self-consciousness.
Goddard hopes to see more protections. “I didn’t know there were harmful ingredients being put in skin care that is marketed to kids,” she says. “There has to be some type of warning.”
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The Associated Press’ education coverage receives financial support from multiple private foundations. AP is solely responsible for all content. Find AP’s standards for working with philanthropies, a list of supporters and funded coverage areas at AP.org.
WESTPORT, Conn. (AP) — Kate Bulkeley’s pledge to stay off social media in high school worked at first. She watched the benefits pile up: She was getting excellent grades. She read lots of books. The family had lively conversations around the dinner table and gathered for movie nights on weekends.
Then, as sophomore year got underway, the unexpected problems surfaced. She missed a student government meeting arranged on Snapchat. Her Model U.N. team communicates on social media, too, causing her scheduling problems. Even the Bible Study club at her Connecticut high school uses Instagram to communicate with members.
Gabriela Durham, a high school senior in Brooklyn, says navigating high school without social media has made her who she is today. She is a focused, organized, straight-A student with a string of college acceptances — and an accomplished dancer who recently made her Broadway debut. Not having social media has made her an “outsider,” in some ways. That used to hurt; now, she says, it feels like a badge of honor.
With the damaging consequences of social media increasingly well documented, some parents are trying to raise their children with restrictions or blanket bans. Teenagers themselves are aware that too much social media is bad for them, and some are initiating social media “cleanses” because of the toll it takes on mental health and grades.
This article is part of AP’s Be Well coverage, focusing on wellness, fitness, diet and mental health. Read more Be Well.
But it is hard to be a teenager today without social media. For those trying to stay off social platforms while most of their peers are immersed, the path can be challenging, isolating and at times liberating. It can also be life-changing.
This is a tale of two families, social media and the ever-present challenge of navigating high school. It’s about what kids do when they can’t extend their Snapstreaks or shut their bedroom doors and scroll through TikTok past midnight. It’s about what families discuss when they’re not having screen-time battles. It’s also about persistent social ramifications.
AP AUDIO: Life as a teen without social media isn’t easy. These families are navigating adolescence offline
AP correspondent Jocelyn Gecker reports on the social ramifications some families saw for their teenagers after cutting out social media.
The journeys of both families show the rewards and pitfalls of trying to avoid social media in a world that is saturated by it.
A FUNDAMENTAL CHANGE
Concerns about children and phone use are not new. But there is a growing realization among experts that the COVID-19 pandemic fundamentally changed adolescence. As youth coped with isolation and spent excessive time online, the pandemic effectively carved out a much larger space for social media in the lives of American kids.
No longer just a distraction or a way to connect with friends, social media has matured into a physical space and a community that almost all U.S. teenagers belong to. Up to 95% of teenagers say they use social media, with more than one-third saying they are on it “almost constantly,” according to the Pew Research Center.
More than ever, teenagers live in a seamless digital and non-digital world in ways that most adults don’t recognize or understand, says Michael Rich, a pediatrics professor at Harvard Medical School and head of the nonprofit Digital Wellness Lab at Boston Children’s Hospital.
Gionna Durham, 13 , left, holds her phone as she has dinner with her sister Gabriela Durham, 17 years old, unseen, on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
Gionna Durham, 13 , left, holds her phone as she has dinner with her sister Gabriela Durham, 17 years old, unseen, on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
“Social media is now the air kids breathe,” says Rich, who runs the hospital’s Clinic for Interactive Media and Internet Disorders.
For better or worse, social media has become a home-base for socializing. It’s where many kids turn to forge their emerging identities, to seek advice, to unwind and relieve stress. It impacts how kids dress and talk. In this era of parental control apps and location tracking, social media is where this generation is finding freedom.
It is also increasingly clear that the more time youth spend online, the higher the risk of mental health problems.
Kids who use social media for more than three hours a day face double the risk of depression and anxiety, according to studies cited by U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, who issued an extraordinary public warning last spring about the risks of social media to young people.
Those were the concerns of the Bulkeleys and Gabriela’s mother, Elena Romero. Both set strict rules starting when their kids were young and still in elementary school. They delayed giving phones until middle school and made social media off limits until 18. They educated the girls, and their younger siblings, on the impact of social media on young brains, on online privacy concerns, on the dangers of posting photos or comments that can come back to haunt you.
Cell phones charge on a ledge between the living room and kitchen as Steph Bulkeley helps Kate select school courses, Friday, Feb. 16, 2024, in Westport, Conn. (AP Photo/Julia Nikhinson)
Cell phones charge on a ledge between the living room and kitchen as Steph Bulkeley helps Kate select school courses, Friday, Feb. 16, 2024, in Westport, Conn. (AP Photo/Julia Nikhinson)
Elena Romero, second from left, and her daughters Gabriela Durham, 17, left, Gionna Durham, 13 second from right, and Grace Durham, 11, have dinner together on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
Elena Romero, second from left, and her daughters Gabriela Durham, 17, left, Gionna Durham, 13 second from right, and Grace Durham, 11, have dinner together on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
In the absence of social media, at least in these two homes, there is a noticeable absence of screen time battles. But the kids and parents agree: It’s not always easy.
WHEN IT’S EVERYWHERE, IT’S HARD TO AVOID
At school, on the subway and at dance classes around New York City, Gabriela is surrounded by reminders that social media is everywhere — except on her phone.
Growing up without it has meant missing out on things. Everyone but you gets the same jokes, practices the same TikTok dances, is up on the latest viral trends. When Gabriela was younger, that felt isolating; at times, it still does. But now, she sees not having social media as freeing.
“From my perspective, as an outsider,” she says, “it seems like a lot of kids use social media to promote a facade. And it’s really sad. Because social media is telling them how they should be and how they should look. It’s gotten to a point where everyone wants to look the same instead of being themselves.”
There is also friend drama on social media and a lack of honesty, humility and kindness that she feels lucky to be removed from.
Gabriela is a dance major at the Brooklyn High School of the Arts and dances outside of school seven days a week. Senior year got especially intense, with college and scholarship applications capped by an unexpected highlight of getting to perform at Broadway’s Shubert Theatre in March as part of a city showcase of high school musicals.
After a recent Saturday afternoon dance class in a Bronx church basement, the diverging paths between Gabriela and her peers is on full display. The other dancers, aged 11 to 16, sit cross-legged on the linoleum floor talking about social media.
Gabriela Durham, 17, arranges items on her dresser inside her room on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
Gabriela Durham, 17, arranges items on her dresser inside her room on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
“I am addicted,” says 15-year-old Arielle Williams, who stays up late scrolling through TikTok. “When I feel like I’m getting tired I say, ‘One more video.’ And then I keep saying, ‘One more video.’ And I stay up sometimes until 5 a.m.”
The other dancers gasp. One suggests they all check their phones’ weekly screen time.
“OH. MY,” says Arielle, staring at her screen. “My total was 68 hours last week.” That included 21 hours on TikTok.
Gabriela sits on the sidelines of the conversation, listening silently. But on the No. 2 subway home to Brooklyn, she shares her thoughts. “Those screen-time hours, it’s insane.”
As the train rumbles from the elevated tracks in the Bronx into the underground subway tunnels in Manhattan, Gabriela is on her phone. She texts with friends, listens to music and consults a subway app to count down the stops to her station in Brooklyn. The phone for her is a distraction limited to idle time, which has been strategically limited by Romero.
“My kids’ schedules will make your head spin,” Romero says as the family reconvenes Saturday night in their three-bedroom walkup in Bushwick. On school days, they’re up at 5:30 a.m. and out the door by 7. Romero drives the girls to their three schools scattered around Brooklyn, then takes the subway into Manhattan, where she teaches mass communications at the Fashion Institute of Technology.
Grace, 11, is a sixth grade cheerleader active in Girl Scouts, along with Gionna, 13, who sings, does debate team and has daily rehearsals for her middle school theater production.
Grace Durham, 11, checks her wardrobe inside her room on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
Grace Durham, 11, checks her wardrobe inside her room on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
Gionna Durham, 13, reads a book on the sofa on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
Gionna Durham, 13, reads a book on the sofa on Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Andres Kudacki)
“I’m so booked my free time is to sleep,” says Gabriela, who tries to be in bed by 10:30 p.m.
In New York City, it’s common for kids to get phones early in elementary school, but Romero waited until each daughter reached middle school and started taking public transportation home alone. Years ago, she sat them down to watch “The Social Dilemma,” a documentary that Gabriela says made her realize how tech companies manipulate their users.
Her mom’s rules are simple: No social media on phones until 18. The girls are allowed to use YouTube on their computers but not post videos. Romero doesn’t set screen-time limits or restrict phone use in bedrooms.
“It’s a struggle, don’t get me wrong,” Romero says. Last year, the two younger girls “slipped.” They secretly downloaded TikTok for a few weeks before getting caught and sternly lectured.
Romero is considering whether to bend her rule for Gionna, an avid reader interested in becoming a Young Adult “Bookstagrammer” — a book reviewer on Instagram. Gionna wants to be a writer when she grows up and loves the idea that reviewers get books for free.
Her mother is torn. Romero’s main concern was social media during middle school, a critical age where kids are forming their identity. She supports the idea of using social media responsibly as a tool to pursue passions.
“When you’re a little older,” she tells her girls, “you’ll realize Mom was not as crazy as you thought.”
STRUGGLING NOT TO MISS OUT
In the upscale suburb of Westport, Connecticut, the Bulkeleys have faced similar questions about bending their rules. But not for the reason they had anticipated.
Kate was perfectly content to not have social media. Her parents had figured at some point she might resist their ban because of peer pressure or fear of missing out. But the 15-year-old sees it as a waste of time. She describes herself as academic, introverted and focused on building up extracurricular activities.
That’s why she needed Instagram.
“I needed it to be co-president of my Bible Study Club,” Kate explains, seated with her family in the living room of their two-story home.
As Kate’s sophomore year started, she told her parents that she was excited to be leading a variety of clubs but needed social media to do her job. They agreed to let her have Instagram for her afterschool activities, which they found ironic and frustrating. “It was the school that really drove the fact that we had to reconsider our rule about no social media,” says Steph Bulkeley, Kate’s mother.
Schools talk the talk about limiting screen time and the dangers of social media, says Kate’s dad, Russ Bulkeley. But technology is rapidly becoming part of the school day. Kate’s high school and their 13-year-old daughter Sutton’s middle school have cell phone bans that aren’t enforced. Teachers will ask students to take out their phones to photograph material during class time.
Kate and Sutton Bulkeley talk in the living room, Friday, Feb. 16, 2024, in Westport, Conn. (AP Photo/Julia Nikhinson)
Kate and Sutton Bulkeley talk in the living room, Friday, Feb. 16, 2024, in Westport, Conn. (AP Photo/Julia Nikhinson)
The Bulkeleys aren’t on board with that, but feel powerless to change it. When their girls were still in elementary school, the Bulkeleys were inspired by the “Wait Until 8th” pledge, which encourages parents to wait to give children smartphones, and access to social media, until at least 8th grade or about age 13. Some experts say waiting until 16 is better. Others feel banning social media isn’t the answer, and that kids need to learn to live with the technology because it’s not going anywhere.
Ultimately they gave in to Kate’s plea because they trust her, and because she’s too busy to devote much time to social media.
Both Kate and Sutton wrap up afterschool activities that include theater and dance classes at 8:30 p.m. most weeknights. They get home, finish homework and try to be in bed by 11.
Kate spends an average of two hours a week on her phone. That is significantly less than most, according to a 2023 Gallup poll that found over half of U.S. teens spend an average of five hours each day on social media. She uses her phone mainly to make calls, text friends, check grades and take photos. She doesn’t post or share pictures, one of her parents’ rules. Others: No phones allowed in bedrooms. All devices stay on a ledge between the kitchen and living room. TV isn’t allowed on school nights.
Kate has rejected her parents’ offer to pay her for waiting to use social media. But she is embarking slowly on the apps. She has set a six-minute daily time limit as a reminder not to dawdle on Instagram.
Having the app came in handy earlier this year at a Model UN conference where students from around the world exchanged contact details: “Nobody asked for phone numbers. You gave your Instagram,” Kate says. She is resisting Snapchat, for fear she will find it addictive. She has asked a friend on student government to text her any important student government messages sent on Snapchat.
Sutton feels the weight of not having social media more than her older sister. The eighth grader describes herself as social but not popular.
“There’s a lot of popular girls that do a bunch of TikTok dances. That’s really what determines your popularity: TikTok,” Sutton says.
Kids in her grade are “obsessed with TikTok” and posting videos of themselves that look to her like carbon copies. The girls look the same in short crop tops and jeans and sound the same, speaking with a TikTok dialect that includes a lot of “Hey, guys!” and uptalk, their voices rising in tone at the end of a thought.
She feels left out at times but doesn’t feel the need to have social media, since one of her friends sends her the latest viral videos. She has seen firsthand the problems social media can cause in friend groups. “Two of my friends were having a fight. One thought the other one blocked her on Snapchat.”
There’s a long way to go before these larger questions are resolved, with these two families and across the nation. Schools are trying. Some are banning phones entirely to hold students’ focus and ensure that socializing happens face-to-face. It might, educators say, also help cut back on teen depression and anxiety.
That’s something Sutton can understand at age 13 as she works to navigate the years ahead. From what she has seen, social media has changed in the past few years. It used to be a way for people to connect, to message and to get to know each other.
“It’s kind of just about bragging now,” she says. “People post pictures of their trips to amazing places. Or looking beautiful. And it makes other people feel bad about themself.”
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The Associated Press’ education coverage receives financial support from multiple private foundations. AP is solely responsible for all content. Find AP’s standards for working with philanthropies, a list of supporters and funded coverage areas at AP.org.
A group of tourists in Iceland came perilously close to losing their lives while posing for a photo on a dangerous area of beach land.
Photographer Gabriel Antal shared heartstopping footage to Instagram, under the handle hybaj_na_island, of the moment the group stopped to take pictures on the rocks at Reynisfjara, a famous black sand beach located in southern Iceland, near the town of Vík í Mýrdal.
“We were filming from a safe distance and saw these tourists taking turns and climbing on basalt rocks even though the waves were smashing them,” Antal told Newsweek. “So it was very predictable that one of them would be washed down sooner or later.”
A popular tourist spot, due to its distinctive basalt columns, the Reynisdrangar sea stacks, and volcanic black sand, visitors to Reynisfjara must exercise caution due to the powerful and often unpredictable “sneaker” waves that can appear with little warning and are capable of dragging people out to sea.
On August 2, a 9-year-old German girl who was visiting the beach with her father and sister died after being swept away by one of these dangerous waves.
As a precaution, visitors are advised to never turn their back on the ocean and keep a safe distance from the water’s edge. Unfortunately the tourists who feature in Antal’s video failed to heed those warnings, much to his obvious frustration.
In the video, an individual in an orange jacket can be seen sitting on the rocks, close to the water, at the side of the beach, posing for a photo while another tourist in a red jacket and another in a white one stand close by taking pictures.
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Everything changes a moment later, however, when a series of waves begin the crash against the rocks. The photographers in the red and white jackets run for cover, but the individual in the orange jacket is not so fortunate.
Instead, they are engulfed in the waves and, as the video ends, are nowhere to be seen. “Crazy that some people risk their lives for a photo,” Antal wrote alongside the video.
Filmed on October 7, Antal confirmed that, despite the dramatic nature of what he captured in the video, everyone was fine, if a little wet.
He was nevertheless shocked by what he witnessed that day, particularly as someone had died so recently there. “I have not seen such crazy behavior at this beach before,” he said. People should be definitely more cautious. Not long ago a little girl died at this beach.”
If nothing else, Antal hopes that by posting the video on social media he can alert any future visitors to the potential dangers posed. “Hopefully they will realize how dangerous nature can be,” he said.
WASHINGTON — WASHINGTON (AP) — The White House on Friday joined Bluesky, the social media platform of choice of many in the left-leaning online world.
In its inaugural post, the White House account offered a sizzle reel of the administration’s memes, trolls and messages from President Donald Trump’s nine months since returning to office. The post appeared aimed at tweaking liberals who aren’t fans of the Republican president.
The first post included mentions of the administration’s executive order renaming the Gulf of Mexico, a doctored image of Democratic House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries adorned in a sombrero with a faux mustache, and stream of photos and video from other big moments in the early going of Trump’s second term.
“What’s up, Bluesky?” the White House said in a message accompanying the video. ”We thought you might’ve missed some of our greatest hits, so we put this together for you. Can’t wait to spend more quality time together!”
Disgruntled X users began flocking to Bluesky after billionaire Elon Musk took over Twitter (now known as X) in 2022, and the platform reported a surge in new users late last year.
It remains small compared to more established online spaces such as X, but it has emerged as an alternative for those looking for a different mood.
The Department of Health and Human Services and the Department of Homeland Security also launched Bluesky accounts Friday.
Vice President JD Vance joined Bluesky in June.
Trump’s social media platform of choice is Truth Social. Trump is the biggest shareholder in Trump Media & Technology Group, the company that owns Truth Social.
MELBOURNE, Australia — MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) — The Australian government has begun a public education campaign with tips on how to wean children off social media ahead of a world-first national 16-year age limit taking effect in December.
Australian eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant said Friday that information on her agency’s website, esafety.gov.au, explained the new laws and how to navigate them.
Starting Dec. 10, platforms including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, X and YouTube could be fined up to 50 million Australian dollars ($33 million) if they don’t take reasonable steps to prevent Australians younger than 16 from holding accounts.
Messages raising awareness will also be shared starting Sunday across digital channels, television, radio and billboards.
“We want children to have childhoods. We want parents to have peace of mind and we want young people — young Australians — to have three more years to learn who they are before platforms assume who they are,” Communications Minister Anika Wells told reporters, referring to the current de facto 13-year age limit for social media accounts based on U.S. privacy legislation.
The Australian age restrictions have already proved polarizing, with some experts warning the changes will harm as well as protect children. More than 140 Australian and international academics signed an open letter to the government last year opposing a social media age limit as “too blunt an instrument to address risks effectively.”
Despite that warning, the laws passed with resounding support last year. The platforms had a year to figure out how to comply without foolproof technology available to verify ages.
Inman Grant said the social media age restriction would be a “very monumental event for a lot of young people.”
Her agency offered checklists and conversation starters about ways to make the transition, such as following an online influencer through a website rather than a social media account, she said.
“How do we start weaning them from social media now so it isn’t a shock on Dec. 10? How do we help them download their archives and their memories and how do we make sure that they’re in touch with friends and are aware of mental health support if they’re feeling down when they’re not tethered to their phones over the holiday period?” she added.
Australia’s move is being watched closely by countries that share concerns about social media impacts on young children.
Denmark’s Ambassador to Australia Ingrid Dahl-Madsen said her government would use its current presidency of the Council of the European Union to push the agenda of protecting children from social media harms.
“This is something that is a global challenge and we are all looking at how we can manage it best and we are looking to Australia and we will be looking at what Australia does,” Dahl-Madsen told Australian Broadcasting Corp. in Melbourne on Monday.
“It’s so important that Australia and Demark and the EU — we share lessons, we compare experiences and we can push forward hopefully practical progress on this,” she added. It was about “protecting our children in this digital world that is increasingly complicated.”
The Danish government last week proposed legislating an age limit of 15. But Dahl-Madsen said Denmark would consider letting parents exempt their children who were 13-14. Australia has no similar exemption.
It’s clear that Jason Kelce and Kylie Kelce can make their own luck in love — even without a redwood tree in sight.
Kylie, 33, subtly changed her Instagram bio to read, “Big fan of Japanese Maples,” which seemingly referred to how Jason, 37, described his appendage on a recent episode of his “New Heights” podcast.
“I thought redwood was a generous word,” Jason quipped on last week’s podcast episode, referring to soon-to-be sister-in-law Taylor Swift’s song “Wood” that alludes to Travis Kelce’s manhood. “If someone wrote a song about me, it’d be like, ‘Japanese maple / Sometimes can see.’”
“Wood” is the ninth track on Swift’s latest studio album, The Life of a Showgirl, and features a “New Heights” mention and plenty of double entendres.
Several members of the Kelce family have plenty of thoughts about Taylor Swift’s new raunchy song “Wood.” The ninth track off Swift’s 12th album, The Life of a Showgirl, is one of the many songs that the pop star wrote about fiancé Travis Kelce. While Swift starts out singing about superstitions, things turn sensual real […]
“Forgive me, it sounds cocky / He ah-matized me and opened my eyes,” Swift, 35, sings on the pop track. “Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see / His love was the key that opened my thighs.”
Jason and Travis, 36, spoke more about Japanese maple trees during their next podcast episode.
“I don’t know that there is a big Japanese maple,” Jason said on the Wednesday, October 15, episode, answering a fan question about whether he’s been asked to be the face of the tree. “I’m not aware of the people really pushing Japanese maples. I feel like that tree is not as pushed upon as some others these days.”
Travis, meanwhile, noted that Japanese maples are “so unique” in the garden world.
“That’s why Kylie loves them,” the Kansas City Chiefs tight end quipped of his sister-in-law.
Travis Kelce is staying humble, even though several of Taylor Swift’s new songs are about him. “You’re a main creative muse to this whole thing happening, Travis,” Jason Kelce told his brother during the Wednesday, October 8, episode of their “New Heights” podcast. Travis, 36, got a little uncomfortable with the praise before turning the […]
Jason concurred with his sibling, noting that Kylie’s interest is “all [he] needs.”
“It’s so good,” Travis added. “Please continue to tag us [on social media] in any and all trees that remind you of Jason.”
Neither Travis nor Swift have addressed the apparent “Wood” metaphor, stressing that the song is merely about superstitions.
“It’s a love story,” Swift said in an Amazon Music explanation of the song. “[It’s] about using, as a plot device, popular superstitions [and] good luck charms, bad luck charms and all these different ways we have decided things are good luck or bad luck — like knocking on wood and seeing a black cat. That is the way I’ve decided to explore this very, very sentimental love song.”
Kylie Kelce broke down her hilariously relatable reaction to the spiciest song on Taylor Swift‘s new album, The Life of a Showgirl. During the Thursday, October 9, episode of her “Not Gonna Lie” podcast, Kylie, 33, revealed which of the Travis Kelce-inspired tracks are her favorites from the record, which dropped less than one week […]
Swift wrote “Wood” with Showgirl coproducers Max Martin and Shellback and initially conceived it as a wholesome love song.
“I brought this into the studio and I was like, ‘I wanna do sort of like a throwback kind of timeless-sounding song,’” Swift said on the October 6 episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. “I had this idea about, ‘I ain’t gotta knock on wood,’ and I would knock on wood and it would be all these superstitions. It really started out in a very innocent place.”
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The pop star continued, “I don’t know what happened, man. I got in there, we started vibing, and I don’t know, I don’t know how we got here. But I love the song so much.”
Eventually, Swift added a handful of double entendres about her and Travis’ sex life that not everyone has picked up on.
“[My mom] thinks that the song is about superstitions, which it absolutely is,” Swift said on SiriusXM’s The Morning Mash Up earlier this month. “That’s the joy of the double entendre. You can read that song for people, and it just goes right over their heads.”
Instagram is introducing its biggest update yet to online safety for young users by applying PG-13 content guidelines to all teen accounts, Meta announced this week.
Under the new regime, under-18s will continue being blocked from seeing sexually suggestive or explicitly violent content as before, but Meta said that the app will now step further by avoiding recommending posts containing strong language, risky stunts or anything that could “encourage potentially harmful behaviors.”
Newsweek reached out to Meta’s press team via email.
Instagram will also block searches on mature topics, such as “alcohol” or “gore”; penalize accounts that repeatedly post age-inappropriate content; and extend the curbs to Instagram’s AI features. Importantly, teens under 18 will be automatically placed in the 13+ mode and cannot opt out without parental permission.
For parents seeking greater controls, Meta is introducing a stricter “Limited Content” mode that further restricts teen access and disables comment interactions.
These changes will begin rolling out this week in Canada, the U.S., the U.K. and Australia, with global rollout scheduled by end of 2025, but campaigners, parents and tech experts remain deeply skeptical about how effective this shift will be in practice.
Campaigner Concerns
Advocacy groups argue that these revisions are far from sufficient. A recent report by the HEAT Initiative, ParentsTogether and others found that 60 percent of 13- to 15-year-olds had encountered unsafe content or unwanted messages on Instagram in the past six months, despite existing safety tools.
Yaron Litwin, an online safety and AI expert, told Newsweek that enforcement will determine whether these new measures succeed.
Litwin said: “Hopefully, its age prediction model will actually prevent … some children from accessing explicit and dangerous content on their feeds.
“However, that is [a] big if, and in any case, there is much harmful content on social-media platforms, including Instagram, that are not obvious enough for filters to catch.”
Meta’s age classification system detects when a user is under 18, even if they claim otherwise. It analyzes signals from their profile and behavior, such as which accounts they follow, what content they engage with, and when their account was created to estimate whether they are likely underage.
“Whether it’s hate speech, glorification of eating disorders, content that is technically compliant although very suggestive, a young Instagram user can still be exposed to much that his or her parents would find objectionable,” Litwin added.
Parental Perspective
Many parents have long struggled to monitor their teens’ online experience. U.K.-based mom Faye McCann is concerned about how the new guidelines will work in practice.
McCann, also a business strategist and social media expert, told Newsweek there is a big gap between what Meta says its offering and what teens will actually see.
“I can’t help but feel this is partly a reaction to years of public pressure,” McCann said. “Meta has been criticized relentlessly about teen safety, and this feels like a step in the right direction, but it’s not the full solution parents and campaigners have been asking for.
“I fully understand their intentions, but, right now, it feels more like a box-ticking exercise than a deep commitment to genuinely protecting young people.”
Algorithms vs Real Life
Other experts agreed that moderation—not messaging—is the real challenge.
Miruna Dragomir, the chief marketing officer at Planable, a social-media management platform, said Instagram’s new rating system may make sense to parents, but it doesn’t solve the underlying problem. She added that young users are adept at outsmarting moderation systems.
“People who use social media, especially youth, are very good at getting around limits by using code phrases, trendy lingo, and visual indicators that AI systems have trouble understanding,” Dragomir told Newsweek. “Every time a policy changes, kids come up with new ways to get around it, and they often know more about how to use the platform than adults do.”
Dragomir said that these changes could give parents “a false sense of security.”
“The most-honest answer is that these rules are a big step toward making areas safer, but they aren’t the only thing that will work,” she added. “Parents need to be involved in their teens’ online lives on a regular basis instead of just trusting what the site says. The best way to keep teens safe is to use better platform tools and have open family talks on how to think critically and use technology.”
For parents like McCann, transparency is a priority. “I want clear, simple ways to see what my children are being exposed to and control over that exposure,” she said. “That means tools that actually work, not just guidelines on paper. Instagram can set the rules all it wants, but unless they can make them enforceable in the real world, teens will still find a way around them—and that’s where the real risk lies.”
YouTuber MrBeast has filed a trademark application for what appears to be a banking app, according to filing data.
According to the application, filed on October 13 and seen by Newsweek, the social media star has filed a trademark for “MrBeast Financial”—a banking services mobile app that provides cryptocurrency, investment banking and other services. It has not yet been approved and there is little information about the full details of the venture.
Newsweek reached out to representatives for MrBeast and his legal team as well as the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) to comment on this story outside of normal business hours.
Why It Matters
MrBeast, whose real name is Jimmy Donaldson, is the most popular YouTuber in the world, with 446 million subscribers on the platform as at the time of writing. The 27 year old regularly posts videos of him and others taking part in stunts—including being punched by former professional boxer Mike Tyson—and he also participates in charitable acts including distributing clean drinking water to people in poverty.
What To Know
According to the application filed with USPTO, the trademark is for “downloadable software in the nature of a mobile application for banking services, short-term cash advances, providing cryptocurrency exchange services, providing investment banking services and investment management services, providing consumer lending services and insurance services, providing financial advisory and consultancy services, providing financial planning services, and providing financial wellness education services.”
The trademark application is owned by Beast Holdings LLC and no other information about its purpose exists in the public domain.
It comes after Business Insider reported in March that a company owned by MrBeast was exploring the idea of building a financial services company that would offer loans, credit cards and banking services, as well as financial literacy content. The report was based on a leaked investor pitch deck which Newsweek was unable to verify.
Simon Taylor, a fintech expert with 60,000 followers, wrote on X: “MrBeast has proven his ability to branch out into consumer goods. And why shouldn’t that empire grow? I could see this being very brand-aligned if it helps consumers have good outcomes. MrBeast’s content is all about making good things entertaining. Or can we make entertaining things create good outcomes?”
What Happens Next
The application is being processed and has not yet been assigned to an examiner, USPTO information shows.
The teaching profession requires a certain degree of patience. Particularly when students discover a new trend to latch onto and repeat at every given opportunity. The latest so-called “brain rot” phrase to flood the classroom: “6-7.”
If you don’t have any Gen Alphas in your life and have no idea what I’m talking about, count yourself lucky. Some teachers have taken to social media to share their exasperation with the trend that has recently overrun classrooms, with schools outright banning it in some instances.
“Say ‘6-7’ one more time,” one teacher posted on TikTok, pretending to address a student in her class. “We’re gonna call your mom in about 6-7 minutes, let her know how you interrupt my class 6-7 times a day, and then maybe she’ll take your phone away for 6-7 days.”
Teachers are going to extreme lengths to avoid saying the numbers—on the pages of textbooks or in answers to math equations—for fear of triggering a commotion in the classroom. Meanwhile, some have adopted an “if you can’t beat ’em, join em” approach, turning the trend into a classroom management strategy or a learning tool.
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Others have taken a simpler line of attack. “I choose 6 and 7 and 67 every time I need random numbers right now, which also seems to be killing the joke for the kids—but I think it’s very funny,” one teacher responded to a Reddit thread on r/Teachers. “I did it with a class earlier this week, and they didn’t do it again,” another one suggested. “Nothing like a teacher doing a trend to make something uncool.”
Like much of Generation Alpha slang, the “6-7” trend originated on TikTok, spawning over a million related videos, before making its way into schools, basketball courts, and sports interviews.
So what does “6-7” actually mean? To many parents, confusion.
The numbers can be traced back to a song called “Doot Doot,” released by hip-hop artist Skrilla in late 2024, in which he raps: “6-7, I just bipped right on the highway (bip, bip).” From there, a video of a boy yelling “6-7” into the camera at a basketball game went viral; thus was born a new meme.
It’s important to note that the “6-7” meme is pronounced “six, seven”—not “sixty-seven” or “six to seven,” as some may assume, having only seen it in writing. It’s often accompanied by the hand gesture you would use to tell someone that you’re weighing two options (both palms facing up, hands moving slightly up and down).
Searches for “Gen Alpha translator” have surged 790% in the past year, making it the fastest-growing “translator” query, Jenny Lee, lead data analyst at Google Trends, told Axios. Meanwhile, “6-7” has emerged as the most popular search for both “how to use [slang]” and “why do middle schools say” in 2025.
By Eve Upton-Clark
This article originally appeared in Inc.’s sister publication, Fast Company.
Fast Company is the world’s leading business media brand, with an editorial focus on innovation in technology, leadership, world changing ideas, creativity, and design. Written for and about the most progressive business leaders, Fast Company inspires readers to think expansively, lead with purpose, embrace change, and shape the future of business.
LinkedIn is the world’s largest professional database, with over 1 billion members. That’s right, 1 billion. This essentially makes it a directory for the professional world. No matter the industry, job function, or experience level, everyone with a career should have a LinkedIn profile. Sales Navigator turns this raw data into an actionable prospecting tool.
Every entrepreneur and every sales rep has the same challenge: They need more meetings with the right people. Sales Navigator helps you find and reach those people faster.
The overlooked advantage
Too many businesses still rely on referrals, cold calling, or massive email blasts. The problem is that buyers today expect personalization. Sales Navigator makes that possible by offering precision targeting. You can search decision makers by role, industry, company size, geography, or even keywords in their profile. This makes your outreach warm, because you already know who you’re speaking to and why they matter to your business, giving your sales team control and power over their prospecting process.
How to leverage Sales Navigator
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Here are five practical ways to put Sales Navigator to work: 1. Build laser-focused lead lists: Create lists that match your exact buyer persona instead of guessing and find every single potential buyer of your product in the world. 2. Use alerts and insights: Get notified when prospects change jobs, get promoted, or post updates—perfect moments to reach out. 3. Warm introductions: Most people prefer referral business. With Sales Navigator, you can see mutual connections and ask for introductions, cutting through the noise of cold outreach. 4. Engage with content first: Like or comment on a prospect’s post before sending a message, building rapport before you even reach out. 5. Message with context: Reference something from their profile or a recent post so your outreach feels personal, not automated.
Scale your business with it
Sales Navigator is more than a sales tool. It’s a top-of-funnel growth engine. This is how different stakeholders can use it.
Entrepreneurs: It’s a cost-effective way to generate deal flow without a large sales team. Sales reps: It shortens the sales cycle and there are no gatekeepers. Business owners: It can identify new partnerships, investor opportunities, and even talent to recruit.
No matter what stage you’re in, Sales Navigator scales with you.
The takeaway for entrepreneurs
Cold outreach is dead. I see prospects starting to turn away from referral business, and move towards value-based relationships.
Personalized, targeted outreach is what wins in today’s market. Sales Navigator doesn’t just give you data, it gives you the ability to build relationships with anyone at scale. If you’re not using Sales Navigator, you’re leaving opportunities on the table.
Meta, Instagram’s parent company, is introducing PG-13-style content limits for all teen accounts. Under the new policy, users under 18 will have mature or sensitive material hidden or restricted, with parents able to add further controls. Tara Hopkins, Instagram’s global director of public policy, joins “CBS Mornings Plus” to discuss the changes.
Instagram-parent Meta announced Tuesday that teen users will now see content on Instagram that’s similar to what they might see while watching a film with a PG-13 rating.
That’s because new content settings for Instagram users under 18 will adhere to the same regulations. The new automatic protections are being rolled by the company starting Tuesday and will be fully implemented by the end of the year, according to Meta.
“We hope this update reassures parents that we’re working to show teens safe, age-appropriate content on Instagram by default, while also giving them more ways to shape their teen’s experience,” the company said in the announcement.
PG-13, a rating used in the media industry, indicates that parental guidance is suggested when watching content, particularly for children under 13.
What are the new restrictions?
The accounts of Instagram users under 18 will now be automatically be placed under a 13+ setting. Opting out of the setting will require parental permission.
Teens with the setting will be blocked from seeing search results for terms like “alcohol” or “gore.” This adds to list of search topics from which Meta said it already shields teens, such as suicide, self-harm and eating disorders.
Teens will also be prevented from following accounts that regularly posts content deemed age-inappropriate. Instagram users under 18 who already follow such accounts, will no longer be able to see or interact with their content, send them DMs, or see their comments under anyone’s posts.
Meta is also applying the new regulations to its artificial intelligence technology which is integrated into Instagram to help answer users’ questions. “A.I.s should not give age-inappropriate responses that would feel out of place in a PG-13 movie,” Meta said Tuesday.
The social media company is also unveiling a separate setting for parents who prefer a “more restrictive experience for their teen.” That setting, called “Limited Content,” filters more content out from teens’ feeds while also restricting their ability to see, leave or receive comments on posts.
Meta introduced “Teen Accounts” last year, billing the move as a way to protect the safety of its younger user base. The company’s new teen restrictions follow similar announcements by YouTube and OpenAI.
Here’s a roundup of answers to three questions from readers.
1. My younger employees prefer communicating by text
I manage a team of five younger professionals, all between the ages of 25 to 30. I have noticed that each of them prefers to communicate with me almost exclusively by text message or through the chat feature in our collaboration software. Conversations by phone, video, or in-person only happen when I initiate them.
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When I initiate an in-person conversation or phone call, my employees don’t seem opposed and typically are very engaged, but if left up to them it seems like all of the interaction with me would be via text or chat. In my own career, I’ve always valued being able to talk one-on-one with my manager, whether it’s during a formal meeting or impromptu. Is the preference my employees show for engaging with me by text or chat generational or should this be a warning sign that my team does not view me as approachable, or doesn’t place much value in one-on-one time with me as a manager?
Green responds:
I’m not a fan of broad statements about generations because people are individuals…but in general there has been a cultural shift away from phone calls and toward other methods of communication. Not just among 20-somethings, but more broadly. And since your employees’ entire time in the workforce has been since that shift started, it makes sense that you’d see it reflected in them.
Since they’re very engaged when you initiate calls or talk in-person, I wouldn’t worry that they don’t find you approachable or don’t value their time with you. Those communication methods just aren’t their go-tos. If you want, you could always ask them about it; maybe it’ll turn out that they think of calling or stopping by in-person as more of an interruption to you, and think they’re respecting your time by not doing it. But lots of people of all ages have just fallen into this particular set of preferences, and that’s likely all it is.
2. Screening out bigots in interviews
A member of our team was recently fired. There had been numerous problems with this teammate, including various remarks made to women and gay men that were not acceptable. So now the search is on to find a replacement.
How do we ensure we don’t hire another bigot? I can’t flat out ask, “Are you comfortable working with women? How about gay men?” Can I? As a gay man myself, one thought I’ve had is to say, “I’m [name], and I live in the [part of town] of [city] with my husband and dog. [more basic personal info].” If they make a face or seem taken aback, red flag. Is this a reasonable approach or is there a better way?
Green responds:
Sharing information about yourself is fine to do. But you’re more likely to get a better sense if you ask about these issues more directly. For example, you could ask, “To what extent have you worked on teams with a broad diversity of race, gender, and sexual orientation, and what have you learned from those experiences?” If this person will be managing anyone, you could ask, “Can you tell me about a time that you had particular success in building an equitable and inclusive team with a variety of demographics, or when you faced an obstacle in doing that? What happened and how did you approach it?” (These questions also signal something about your culture to your candidates, which is useful.)
3. How to unfriend someone I have to fire
A few years back, I started at a new company in a mid-level role. During that time, I accepted Facebook friend requests from a few coworkers, all at my level. Generally speaking, I’m fine being friends with coworkers on Facebook as I don’t share anything I wouldn’t want the entire world to see. However, since then I was promoted to the director of our department. I am still friends with coworkers, because I’m comfortable with the content I share being appropriate for the workplace.
However, I am in the process of terminating an employee on my team, who I am still friends with on Facebook. I understand that they most likely won’t want to remain social media friends with a boss who just let them go. I don’t want to put this employee in any more of an uncomfortable position, knowing how stressful and upsetting losing a job already is. Do I unfriend them prior to letting them go, unfriend them when we finalize the termination, or just see what happens and let them decide if they want to disconnect?
Green responds:
Definitely don’t unfriend the person right before letting them go; if they notice, it’ll look ominous and awfully cold. Frankly, doing it right afterwards will look pretty cold too! You’re better off leaving it in their hands; they can unfriend you if they want, block your posts, or whatever they’re comfortable with.
For what it’s worth, ideally you would have disconnected from anyone you managed on Facebook when you became the director, because this is only the first of a bunch of awkward situations that could come up. It’s not enough that you’re not concerned about what you might post; being connected to them means you might see things they’d rather their boss not see or think about (their politics, health, family, whatever it might be) — and it’s less fraught for you to take the lead on fixing that than it is for them. And if you disconnect from everyone at once, it’s easy to explain it’s not personal and you just don’t want them to feel like you’re watching what they post.
