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Tag: sleep disorders

  • “It Took a Long Time, But He Finally Found a Role.”

    “It Took a Long Time, But He Finally Found a Role.”

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    Anne Duncan experienced high, persistent anxieties and social difficulties during her 12 years as a teacher. Discouraged, she left teaching and spent three years searching for a different occupation, eventually turning to administrative work. She connected with Crossroads, a disability employment group in Sacramento, and volunteered in several clerical roles before accepting a position with the California Department of Corrections, which has proved to be a better fit over the last nine years.

    Paul Nussbaum held and lost a series of jobs in his 20s and 30s. Over the past 15 years, he has settled into a combination of a handyman business and seasonal employment with Ascendigo, the sports program based in Colorado for children and adults with autism.

    Both Anne and Paul were diagnosed with autism in adulthood. “Being diagnosed at age 40 with autism after a long, hard struggle with employment, academics, and major communication and social issues, the light bulb went on,” Paul said. “I learned about autism and found there is a huge population, just like me, with the same struggles.”

    [Get This Free Resource: Autism Evaluation Checklist]

    In Northern California, the Autism Job Club has begun to chronicle and detail the professional journeys of its members over 40, including their experiences and advice for younger workers. And though many members experienced multiple job losses in the first decade or two of working, that’s rarely the full story. Over time, many have found their niche in the job market — thanks, in large part, to maturity, an acceptance of workplace protocols, and finally finding a skill fit.

    For most, finding that fit takes patience and persistence. After decades in food service (including five years of making lunches in a children’s autism program), Sarah Howard, 51, earned a degree from Cal State University, Stanislaus, in geography in 2020. The following year, she obtained a remote work position as an Apple Junior GIS technician, but within four months she and her employer decided “it wasn’t a good fit.”

    “It was a very dry job, and I am way too extroverted for a remote work like that,” she said. Currently she is volunteering at Learning Quest, an adult literacy program, and pursuing a Master’s degree in non-profit management.

    Mark Romoser, in his late 50s, has a degree from Yale. He held jobs with disability advocacy groups for 15 years, before being laid off in 2016. He currently works 10 hours a week at a high school for neurodivergent students and hopes to get back into the advocacy field.

    [Read: How to Gauge Diversity, Equity & Inclusion — Key Questions to Ask in an Interview]

    These stories echoed true for members of the Autism Job Club during a recent virtual meeting. An older parent spoke of her son, 47, and his job journey: “When he was in his 20s he wanted to be an animator, and but was not able to get a job at that. He then tried other fields, such as auto mechanic and assembler in a motorcycle dealership, and was not able to hold a steady job, mainly due to social and performance pressures. He does drive, and about 10 years ago began volunteering with a paratransit service and Meals on Wheels. He subsequently obtained his Class B license and secured full-time employment driving a paratransit bus. He has been employed there for more than 7 years. He enjoys the job and is good at it, and the riders like him. It took a long time, but he finally found a role.”

    It’s never too late for adults with ADHD, autism, or other learning differences to find their perfect career fit — regardless of discouraging earlier job disappointments. The strategies for job placement later in life include the following:

    • Utilize the free resources available through the vocational rehabilitation and disability services agencies in most states. Most states have two separate agencies of vocational rehabilitation and developmental disabilities, and many neurodiverse adults take advantage of resources available through both. As a job seeker, you cannot leave your job search to these agencies, but you should utilize their resources in a partnership effort.
    • Utilize the business networks of family and friends, and networks of the extra-governmental neurodiversity groups. Don’t ignore the online job listings, but these are usually very competitive. Personal contacts and referrals still are the best lead into a company.
    • It’s a numbers game; plan to apply for 40 to 50 jobs, not 4 or 5. When I started in the employment field in the late 1970s, I would recommend applying for at least 4 to 5 jobs. Now I recommend applying to 10 times that number. The competition for nearly all jobs has gotten much higher over the years.

    Most of all, don’t try to do it alone. There is an infrastructure of governmental and extra-governmental resources to which you are entitled to and should draw on.

    Career Advice for Autistic Adults: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “I’ve Been Rewatching the Same 3 TV Shows for the Past 20 Years.”

    “I’ve Been Rewatching the Same 3 TV Shows for the Past 20 Years.”

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    A cozy evening. I have completed all my chores and I’m snugly wrapped in my cherished threadbare pajamas. In my hand is a piping-hot cup of coffee emanating comforting warmth. While the outside world remains chaotic and unpredictable, within the confines of my cozy place, I discover ease in the inviting glow of my familiar laptop screen.

    Pondering what to watch tonight, I consider a multitude of options. And yet, I am irresistibly drawn back to the same three TV shows — ones I’ve indulged in far too many times to count over the past 20 years.

    Rewatching TV Shows: The ADHD Explanation

    So what are the three TV series that have captivated me for two decades? Drum roll, please!

    1. Friends. As Chandler would say, this iconic sitcom is my lobster.
    2. Charmed. The series cast a spell over me that hasn’t faded over time. I even started making my own Book of Shadows, which got lost when I moved out of my first apartment.
    3. Grey’s Anatomy. I dreamed of becoming a surgeon because of this show (a nonsense dream now). Either way, I still love the show and learning all about strange diseases.

    You might be thinking: What kind of sane person would watch the same handful of TV shows over and over? It’s a reasonable question that has even crossed my own mind. For me, it has just about everything to do with ADHD.

    Tuning into a New Show Is a Chore

    Diving into a brand-new TV series is difficult — even exhausting — with a brain that wrestles with attention and focus. The tiniest distractions are enough to pull me away from understanding the plot of a new show. I’ll decide to quickly scroll through Instagram before realizing that I missed a whole episode.

    [Read: I Like TV the Way I Like Big Projects — In Small Chunks]

    But with familiar TV shows, none of this is an issue. I can zone out and still know exactly what’s happening. I already know the twists and turns that lay ahead. I am spared the burden of memorizing character names and keeping track of complex storylines. I can fully engage with the story without constantly feeling like I’m missing something.

    ADHD Needs Predictability

    I already know your next question: Doesn’t watching the same shows get boring? Sure, novelty can be thrilling for those of us with ADHD. But it can also be overwhelming. That’s why a dash of predictability can be so soothing. Returning to my favorite TV shows gives my restless mind the sense of comfort and familiarity it often needs. They’re my escape from the wild world outside. When everything else spirals into a mess, at least I know that Ross and Rachel will survive their rollercoaster romance.

    Decision Fatigue in the Golden Age of TV

    Especially in today’s fast-paced world where new shows are released at astonishing rates, sticking to the same three feels like a no-brainer. While there’s so much great new content out there that teases the senses, it’s also a minefield of decision fatigue and mental exhaustion. I’ve caught myself aimlessly scrolling through streaming platforms for something new to put on, only to be overwhelmed by the minefield of choices just about every time. I’ve seen endless trailers for potential shows and have read countless series descriptions, but in the end, I usually give up and watch nothing.

    If I stick with my tried-and-true series, it’s akin to choosing vanilla at the ice cream shop. I know it’s delicious, and it’s probably better than going for that weird flavor hiding chunks of bubblegum or Swedish fish.

    [Read: “How a TV Show Helped Connect Me and My Teenage Son”]

    A Trip Down Memory Lane

    Of course, my unwavering devotion to these shows goes beyond ADHD. For one, they are shows that are just too good to let go. But they also hold a special place in my heart because they stood with me during some of the most challenging times of my life. They offered a much-needed escape when the weight of the world felt unbearable, and they provided a form of companionship when solitude threatened to consume me. Watching these shows over time has reminded me of where I am on my own journey, and the profound role these characters and their stories have played in shaping my own narrative.

    Watching the Same Show Over and Over: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “EMDR Therapy Helps People Heal From Experiences That Haunt Them”

    “EMDR Therapy Helps People Heal From Experiences That Haunt Them”

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    Just as overeating can overwhelm our digestive systems and cause us to develop symptoms of indigestion, traumatic experiences can get “stuck” in our nervous system, leading to ongoing distress and negative emotions and beliefs. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy helps individuals heal from the experiences that haunt them rather than simply learn to cope with them.

    EMDR can be especially beneficial for adults with ADHD or comorbid conditions, such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), because it targets underlying traumatic experiences (i.e., childhood abuse, shame, neglect, bullying, etc.) that may contribute to symptoms. The evidence-based therapy works by engaging several neurophysiological processes, which is a fancy way of saying that EMDR relies on the nervous system’s natural healing abilities to reprocess a distressing memory or experience, ultimately reducing or eliminating debilitating symptoms.1

    The key component of EMDR is bilateral stimulation (BLS) — the therapy doesn’t work without it. BLS stimulates both sides of the brain through eye movements, tapping, or listening to alternating tones. It stimulates similar processes experienced during the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep phase, an essential part of memory consolidation. BLS “taxes” or “breaks” a targeted memory, making it hard for a client to focus on it causing the memory to lose its negative emotional charge. A client can still recall a negative memory just without the negative feelings.

    How Does EMDR Work?

    A misconception about EMDR is that it’s a magic bullet and will work seamlessly for everyone. That’s not true. The therapy takes time and preparation to work effectively. The client and therapist focus on building coping skills and a safe therapeutic relationship before identifying memories to target and treat using EMDR techniques.

    In total, EMDR therapy consists of eight phases, including: 2,3

    EMDR Phase 1: Client History

    The therapist takes a detailed client history to identify their readiness and suitability for treatment.

    EMDR Phase 2: Preparation

    The therapist sets reasonable expectations and trains the client on various self-control techniques to maintain stability between and during the sessions.

    [Get Our Free Guide to Natural Treatment Options]

    EMDR Phase 3: Assessment

    The client and therapist jointly identify the target memory on which they will work.

    EMDR Phase 4: Desensitization

    The client uses BLS to change the targeted memory’s trauma-related sensory experiences and associations.

    EMDR Phase 5: Installation

    The client identifies the new positive statements and associations they hold about the experience, now that it’s resolved.

    EMDR Phase 6: Body Scan

    The client scans their body for any somatic response related to the targeted memory. If present, the therapist targets this body sensation for further processing.

    EMDR Phase 7: Closure

    The therapist explains what to expect between sessions and asks the client to record any disturbances experienced between sessions. The therapist also takes time to help relieve any distress from the session so the client feels regulated upon leaving the session.

    EMDR Phase 8: Reassessment

    The therapist evaluates the EMDR treatment’s effectiveness.

    A typical EMDR session lasts one hour; however, some therapists offer intensive sessions for 90 minutes or several hours. It may take several sessions to process a targeted memory. Clients who have experienced complex trauma may need several months of EMDR therapy; clients who already have coping skills and aren’t afraid to feel emotions and body sensations may rapidly move through EMDR treatment in a few weeks. It depends on the client’s goals, the strength of their nervous system, and how many memories need to be processed.

    After a successful EMDR session, my clients typically experience reduced distress and vividness associated with the negative memory and report that a previously difficult experience “no longer bothers them.” They also report reduced symptoms associated with the memory and more peace and joy in their lives.

    [Free Self-Test: General Anxiety Disorder in Adults]

    EMDR for Children

    EMDR therapy is not only appropriate for adults. It is a child-friendly and developmentally appropriate therapy for children and adolescents. Therapists can tailor EMDR treatment to meet the needs of each child by using fun and engaging techniques, such as storytelling, drawing, and play therapy, to help children feel safe and comfortable while processing their traumas.

    More importantly, EMDR therapy can help children with ADHD and comorbid conditions develop coping skills and strategies to manage their symptoms more effectively. For example, it can teach them relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety, improve their ability to focus and complete tasks, and help them develop healthy communication and relationship skills.

    It is important to note that EMDR can be an overwhelming and vulnerable therapy; treatment should only occur with a trained EMDR professional — and only after both the professional and client are ready for it.

    By helping individuals process and release negative emotions associated with traumatic experiences, EMDR therapy can alleviate anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms and even reduce some symptoms associated with ADHD. While EMDR will not alleviate an ADHD diagnosis, it can help those who struggle with ADHD symptoms live a happier, more productive life. EMDR helps clients to develop a more positive self-image, self-confidence, and live a better quality of life.

    To find a licensed EMDR professional, visit emdria.org.

    EMDR Therapy: Next Steps

    Rebecca Kase, MSW, LCSW, RYT, a member of emdria.org, and an emdria-approved trainer and consultant.


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Melanie Wachsman

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  • “How to Get Motivated to Clean: Revamp Your ADHD Approach to Chores”

    “How to Get Motivated to Clean: Revamp Your ADHD Approach to Chores”

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    Household chores have a way of piling up, don’t they? Work and other obligations take up most of our days, so when we do have free time, the last thing we want to do is even more work. Yet, as we all know, routine maintenance supports a functional household — and improves our mental health.

    My clients with ADHD have shared with me all the ways that chores get sidelined, interrupted, and avoided due to ADHD. The never-ending nature of chores makes getting started and staying motivated nearly impossible. Distractions and competing priorities keep chores in a perpetually incomplete state. And no matter the issue, problems vanquishing household chores almost always lead to feelings of frustration and incompetence.

    The only way to help you start, persist, and finish those pesky household chores (and do it all again) is to come up with a system that works for you. That may require you to take a step back and reassess your current approach to chores. Here are five steps to help you rethink chores, get motivated to clean, and follow an upkeep process that fits your life.

    [Get This Free Download: How to Tidy Up Your Home Like a Pro]

    1. Identify all the household chores that are important to you. Think of the bare minimum that you need to feel good in your living space. Is it a dining table clear of clutter? No clothes on the floor? Take the time to write out a list of realistic to-dos that matter to you, even if they are challenging to complete.

    2. Break down all chores into their smallest steps to reduce overwhelm. A multi-step chore like “doing laundry,” for example, turns into sort clothes; wash clothes; dry clothes; dump dry clothes into basket; bring basket to the bedroom; and so on. Smaller steps are easier to tackle and allow you to be more realistic about what you can accomplish.

    3. Set times for completing chores (and tasks) in a way that fits with your lifestyle. Is it best to schedule a block of time to work through all the chores on your list? Or would it be better to do one or two small chores daily? Would you be more productive first thing in the morning or at end of your day? Can you do the first two steps of a chore today, and the rest tomorrow? The key here is to be honest with yourself about reasonable ways to incorporate household chores into your daily life.

    4. Identify your sore spots and obstacles to starting chores. What makes starting a particular chore difficult for you?

    • Does it seem like the chore (or a step within it) will take too long? Then set a timer and commit to working on the chore or step for just 10 minutes. (Or any amount of time that is doable for you.) When the timer rings, reassess if you want to continue or come back to it at your next designated chore time.
    • Does the thought of gathering supplies and tools to do the chore turn you away? We’re often quick to dismiss pre-chore work as an actual step to complete a chore, so be sure to add “locating supplies” on your chore breakdown. To save time, store supplies for a given chore in a single container and/or within a space where they are more readily available. (For example, consider keeping tub cleaning supplies in your shower instead of somewhere else within the bathroom.)
    • Are some chores simply too tedious? Infuse some enjoyment to help you persist! Listen to music, a podcast, or an audiobook while you work. Chew gum and blow bubbles while you tidy up. Call a friend while you clean. (A form of body doubling.) Splurge and buy a fun tool or supply that will make a chore more enjoyable. Gamify chores by competing against others (or even yourself) until the timer stops or until the end of a song.
    • Do you only feel “activated” to do chores under pressure? It’s good to let go of strict rules and “shoulds” around house upkeep and chores. That said, if a sense of urgency is the only thing that motivates you to do chores, consider inviting guests to your place so that you have a firmer deadline for getting chores done.

    [Read: “I Absolutely Hate Everything About…” Your Most Detested and Avoided Household Chores]

    5. Help yourself stay on track while doing chores.

    • Create visual reminders of your chores and tasks. Externalize your to-dos to jog your memory. Some ideas: A simple to-do list on a large whiteboard; a color-coded chore sheet (on your calendar or on an actual sheet of paper); a notecard deck of individual chores (completed chore cards can be put in a separate pile or moved to the back of the deck). Put your visual reminder of the chosen chore in a noticeable place so you can look at it periodically to check that you are still on task.
    • When you start a chore, set a timer to go off every few minutes. Each time it goes off, ask yourself, “Am I still on my intended task?”
    • Keep sticky notes on hand to write down other things and to-dos that cross your mind so those thoughts don’t interrupt your chore time. Stick the note anywhere where you’re guaranteed not to miss it. (Like on your bathroom mirror.) If sticky notes aren’t your thing, consider adding it to your calendar or a to-do list app. You can even set the to-do as an alarm on your phone (to ring in a few hours).

    6. Take time to notice your accomplishments. Once you’ve completed a chore, take in how the area looks and feels. Grab a picture of your space and print a copy to remind yourself of how good it feels to successfully manage your home. With each step of a chore, share your progress with a friend or family member who will cheer you on. Reflect on the strategies that were most helpful to you in the process so you can continue to use them in the future.

    How to Get Motivated to Clean: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “I Was the Family Misfit Who Got a Hopeful Ending to a Hard Childhood”

    “I Was the Family Misfit Who Got a Hopeful Ending to a Hard Childhood”

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    From the sanctuary of my rooftop, I listened as my family clamored around the dinner table, laughing, joking, and chatting away. In my usual hideaway, I gazed up at the stars and wondered why I never felt like I fit in anywhere, not even with my own family. At 15 years old, I felt like a misfit and a burden. I was certain my family would be a lot happier if I weren’t around.

    Growing up around my siblings was tough. I longed for their approval, but “be quiet,” “sit still,” and “go away” were among their most common responses to me. My behaviors irked them and made me a target. It took a long time for me to understand what was so wrong about me and why I couldn’t connect the way I wanted to with my family. My behaviors, I learned, were primarily the result of undiagnosed ADHD and OCD, and my family was reacting to symptoms that were too difficult for them to understand at the time.

    The Odd One Out

    I remember driving my siblings mad at bedtime, to the point where they would yell at me to, “Shut up and go to sleep!” To be fair, I would talk non-stop into the night. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my brain lit up, filling with zig-zagging pathways of wonder and questions.

    I wanted to talk about anything and everything. I had big existential questions. I wanted to discuss the deep connections I felt to some movie characters. I wanted to share a million facts about galaxies and talk in-depth about whatever book I was consumed by that week. But my sisters did not want any of it. Their neurotypical brains slowed down at night (as is normal), and sleep came easy. (Once I finally stopped talking, that is!)

    It wasn’t just at night that I irritated them. My repetitive behaviors, like playing the same song over and over again (like over a hundred times each day) for months, or watching the same movie endlessly, also drove them away.

    [Read: Parenting the Child Whose Sibling Has ADHD]

    Sometimes, I’d fall into patterns of washing my hands so much they were red and raw. I’d also avoid touching anything with my hands or allowing anyone to touch me (I carried around hand sanitizer long before COVID). I couldn’t eat food that others had touched, and I couldn’t stand anyone sitting on my bedspread lest they leave behind germs.

    My siblings often made fun of me for my “germaphobia,” and would intentionally try to rile me up by sitting on my bed or touching me with unwashed hands. Angry, emotionally dysregulated, and hypersensitive (which I later learned was rejection sensitive dysphoria), my responses to their teasing were deemed over-the-top. I would be disciplined for my “bad” behavior, and I frequently carried a deep sense of shame and embarrassment for being so “mean,” “crazy,” and such a “problem.”

    I was constantly seeking affection and attention from my siblings, who only saw me as needy and overbearing. When they teased me, the physical heartache I experienced was real. When they pushed me away, the rejection I felt was so deep I found it debilitating. So, I’d retreat to the rooftop, just me and the stars.

    This is a Victory Story

    My siblings and I did the best we could do at a time when there was very little education or acceptance around behaviors like mine. We’ve all learned a lot along the way.

    [Read: When ADHD Drains and Strains Sibling Relationships]

    The behaviors I exhibited in childhood that caused so much strife were traits of real mental health conditions and neurodivergence — body-focused repetitive behaviors, OCD compulsions, and stimming (self-stimulation). I also learned that these behaviors were my way of self-soothing to reduce stress and anxiety. Today, diagnosed and treated, these behaviors (and trying to cope with them) sometimes still drive me (and my husband this time) crazy.

    I’ve spent a lot of time masking and dealing with self-hate and insecurity, but that’s changing. Now, for the most part, I can speak openly with my siblings about the challenges I faced growing up around them as I dealt with undiagnosed mental health challenges. I understand myself better, and can take in their perspectives, too. We find ourselves reflecting on our own children, how we see so much of ourselves in them, and how learning and healing together forges a new path for them. We try to remember, for the most part, that just because things used to be a certain way doesn’t mean that they still have to be.

    It’s a choice to see only the bad parts of the past; it’s a much better choice to focus on the victories instead.

    ADHD and Sibling Strife: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Why Your Child’s Messy Bedroom Is an Abstract Monster

    Why Your Child’s Messy Bedroom Is an Abstract Monster

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    Imagine this: You’ve never seen a Rubik’s Cube before and, frankly, you have no prior experience working with puzzles of any kind. Yet you’ve been tasked with completing the Rubik’s Cube with no help. Oh, and you have to solve it in the next 30 minutes.

    This is how a child with ADHD feels when told to tidy their room. (Though, to be fair, many adults with ADHD feel this way, too.) It’s a baffling, insurmountable task with no real beginning or end. After all, a room has different areas, different furniture, and lots of different ‘stuff’ strewn all around in a giant mess. It is an abstract monster!

    I know how dreadful and confusing tidying can be because I was that child. I grew up the eldest of four children, and I shared a bedroom with my brother. When it was time to clean our room, we drew an imaginary line down the middle of the floor and always argued over whether it was a fair partitioning of our space. But once the borders were settled, my brother proceeded to attack his side of the room with consummate ease. In the short time it took him to finish, my mind had wandered several times to several different topics — anything from the thing I’d seen across the road from our window to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and some toys I had forgotten about that I suddenly wanted to play with.

    My mind wandered because I was unable to work out where to begin tidying. Something else would always catch my attention. I’d hear plenty of complaints from my parents — if my brother could do it just fine, why couldn’t I?

    Today, I’m the adult with four children. At 39, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Like most people with a late diagnosis, I went through a period of profound reflection; I finally knew what I was working with (and against), and it was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

    [Get This Free Download: Organizing Strategies for Children with ADHD]

    My youngest boy, 10, also has ADHD. It was his assessment process that made me sit up and take note of all his symptoms and how they mirrored my own behaviors and challenges from childhood to this day. I understood, at last, that ADHD can make things like tidying a messy room feel like battling an abstract monster. Our brains find it very hard to look at a shapeless, scary problem and break it down into manageable chunks.

    How to Clean Your Room: My Guide, ADHD-Style

    When I ask my boys to clean their shared room, I know what to expect from the smallest. While I don’t have all the answers, I did eventually learn this process for breaking down all kinds of abstract monsters:

    • Take a piece of paper, write the abstract thing at the top (in this case, tidying the room), and draw a box around it.
    • Take two minutes to think about the different facets of the abstract thing. Write those as subheadings, also in their own boxes. For tidying, I have my child pick any part of the room; the exact location or task doesn’t matter. If they’re really struggling to pick, I have them toss a pair of socks over their head — where they land is as good a place as any to begin. Coat hangers, toy cars, and dirty clothes are all good subheadings.
    • Work each subheading independently. Pick up the coat hangers and put them back in the closet. Then focus on the toys. Where did those toys live before they ended up on the floor? Cool, put them back there. Then, dirty clothes — are they really dirty? Check them. If they are, put them in the wash basket. If they aren’t, put them on your newly hung-up hangers, or in a drawer.

    This process doesn’t have to be perfect or even neat. It just has to help with getting started and staying on task. For my boy, I think of it as bumper rails to help him tidy his room more effectively, and with less arguing. When he gets overwhelmed, I help get him back on track with some calming words and refer him back to the above process. I can’t and won’t tidy his room for him because he will meet all manner of challenges in life that will certainly be more complicated than tidying a room. I know that helping him develop processes or coping mechanisms now will pay dividends later in his life.

    [Read: The Daily Habits of Organized Kids]

    So next time your kids struggle with something as “simple” as cleaning their room, take a second to remember that what you see as a straightforward task can be a scary, unwieldy project for ADHD minds. A bit of guidance in breaking down the abstract monster might be just the thing they need to succeed.

    Clean Your Room with ADHD: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • “ADHD and OCD: My Codependent Frenemies”

    “ADHD and OCD: My Codependent Frenemies”

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    On the surface, ADHD and OCD are seemingly impossible bedfellows. “Messy,” “hyperactive,” and “scatterbrained” are just a few common synonyms for the former, while the latter is frequently associated with being exceedingly clean, uptight, and meticulous. (While some of these assumptions about these disorders are accurate for some people, they cannot be generalized or applied to everyone.)

    Yet, that’s precisely the combination I have. Research shows that up to 30% of people with ADHD also have OCD.

    In my reality, ADHD and OCD are codependent frenemies that sometimes help balance each other, even as they egg on one another.

    OCD and ADHD Feed Off Each Other

    My OCD diagnosis came first, and it never quite felt like the whole picture. I had trouble focusing, which is a common struggle in OCD that stems from difficulty managing compulsive symptoms. Still, it didn’t explain the day-to-day distractibility I experienced. It also didn’t explain my childhood issues with school or my impulsivity. When my psychiatrist added the ADHD diagnosis, it all suddenly made sense.

    OCD and ADHD both think they are helpful. ADHD knows you need more dopamine, but it fails to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy sources. OCD wants to relieve anxiety; it just tends to do so in maladaptive ways.

    [Get This Free Download: How Are Symptoms of OCD Different from ADHD?]

    Converse to its stereotype, ADHD also brings hyperfocus – a curious combination with OCD, as “obsessive” is right in the name. For ADHD brains, obsessions are a way to get the stimulation your brain thinks it needs. For OCD, obsessions are a catalyst for the compulsion part of the disorder. The two frequently exacerbate each other for me; this was especially true before I understood that I have both.

    The interplay might go something like this: I have an obsessive thought that creates anxiety. So I perform a compulsive action or thought to make it better. Making it better gives relief, and relief makes dopamine. Therefore, the compulsion not only relieves the anxiety temporarily but also activates my brain. Trying to avoid a compulsion, on the other hand, produces a hefty dose of adrenaline while dopamine and serotonin perform an endless dance in my brain.

    OCD exploits the poor impulse control of ADHD. It is so much easier to “give in” to a compulsion for that quick relief.

    As a kid, ADHD contributed to feelings of shame. I felt like I was lazy and could not do anything right. I felt like a failure and understood that I was not “living up to my potential.” OCD feeds on shame; its what-ifs led me farther into this spiral. What if my obsessions and intrusive thoughts meant that I was a terrible person? And what if, as a horrible person, I was truly lazy?

    [Read: The Truth About Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder]

    While “I have OCD” is accurate, it doesn’t mean that the disorder rules everything that I think about and do. For instance, I am not neat and orderly, and germs don’t bother me beyond what feels rational. Those aren’t my particular flavors of OCD. So while it’s true that OCD and ADHD have functional and physiological differences, there is room in my brain for both.

    OCD tends to resemble a game of whack-a-mole, with new worries and obsessions popping up just as others begin to feel manageable. ADHD means I can always find new ideas to turn into intrusive thoughts.

    Uncertainty fuels OCD, and ADHD produces a lot of uncertainty. For example, it’s challenging to reassure yourself that you locked the car when you have forgotten to do so many times before.

    OCD and ADHD: Too Intertwined to Tease Apart

    However, I suspect ADHD works to keep OCD in check in some ways. For example, people with comorbid ADHD and OCD are more likely to experience mainly thought-based compulsions, which I find less disruptive than any physical compulsions I experience. Sometimes, the distractability of ADHD smooths the roughest edges of my OCD.

    I also think ADHD makes OCD therapy more successful for me. Having a breakthrough, figuring something out, and relieving shame all bring the jolt of dopamine my brain craves. So, in some ways, their coexistence led me to more effective treatment.

    It would be great if neurodivergence and symptoms of mental conditions could fit nicely into individual columns. If only we could say, “this compulsion clangs around in the OCD bucket,” “that quirk lines the bottom of the ADHD basket,” and “that neurosis fits in the wider anxiety container.” But it’s rarely that easy. While OCD and ADHD are opposites in some ways, they are also too intertwined to tease apart.

    OCD and ADHD Together: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
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  • The Real Reason ADHD Medication Supply Is Lagging Demand

    The Real Reason ADHD Medication Supply Is Lagging Demand

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    June 13, 2023

    Whoever says the Adderall shortage is over is living on a different planet. I have dozens of patients who rely on Adderall and who panic every month. Whenever it’s time to refill their prescriptions, the drama begins: Where can I find the medication I need?

    This uncertainty is causing extreme hardship for many of my patients. While stimulant medication is not exactly like insulin (you won’t likely die without it), it is like eyeglasses. Without your glasses, your execution of everything suffers. You go about your day making mistakes, bumping into things, risking getting fired because suddenly you’re incompetent. I wish the Adderall shortage were over, but up here in the Boston area at least, it is as bad as it’s ever been.

    I can’t figure out why. It’s not as if Adderall is like truffles; we don’t need special pigs to root it out from the ground. Production is not limited by the availability of its components. It’s easily synthesized. So why is there a limit on how much stimulant medication can be produced and marketed? Why are my patients suffering unnecessarily?

    [Read: Adderall Shortage Persists as Opioid Settlement Triggers Pharmacy Constraints]

    Why Are We Punishing ADHD Patients?

    If limiting the production of Adderall is part of an effort to reduce or prevent the reselling or other misuse of the drug, that simply makes no sense. It’s just plain stupid. It’s like trying to reduce car theft by limiting the manufacture of cars.

    It’s difficult for me not to believe this is a misguided attempt to avoid another oxycontin debacle. But limiting the manufacture of Adderall to prevent Adderall abuse only succeeds in punishing the patients who really need the drug.

    To blame the Adderall shortage, as the FDA commissioner recently did, on improper or aggressive diagnosis of ADHD and improper or aggressive prescription of stimulant medication is to penalize the many for the mistakes of a few. Unless a doctor is intentionally over-diagnosing to make a profit — which does happen, unfortunately, but not nearly often enough to create a shortage of Adderall — then we ought to have enough of a supply to meet the needs of all people diagnosed with ADHD.

    [Download: ADHD Medications – Comparison Chart of Stimulants & Nonstimulants]

    There is a shortage of Adderall because, for some reason, the manufacturing quotas set by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) are not keeping up with demand. It’s good news that the demand is high because that means more people are getting diagnosed. Not too long ago, it was hard to find a doctor who knew enough to diagnose and treat ADHD.

    Now that we’re diagnosing and treating more people with ADHD, especially adults, we ought to be able to prescribe for them the medications they need to live more productive, fulfilled lives.

    ADHD Medication Shortage: Next Steps


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
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  • “I’m Still Recovering from ‘Hyperfocus Burnout.’ It’s Been Six Years.”

    “I’m Still Recovering from ‘Hyperfocus Burnout.’ It’s Been Six Years.”

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    In my first full-time job after finishing my master’s degree, I was put in charge a long-running project that was already years behind schedule. With strict, unrealistic timelines and insufficient resources, the project was mine to save.

    I’ve always been a high achiever, so I dove right in. Despite the pressure and all the givens, I found the work highly engaging and rewarding – the perfect combination for hyperfocus.

    Intense weeks turned into months. The longer I hyperfocused on the project and the more I accomplished, the more important my work became to me. It was all or nothing.

    I kept up the pace for a year and a half. Then, with almost no warning, I broke.

    I know what you’re thinking; it’s a classic case of burnout, right? Not exactly. You see, that burnout episode happened six years ago — and I’m still recovering from it.

    Burnout by Another Name

    Years after that episode, with a new job and an objectively manageable workload, I am still only able to work about 20 hours a week. I’m also highly sensitive to day-to-day work stress; some hard days can trigger depressive episodes and significant fatigue.

    [Read: Rising from the Burnout — an ADHD Recovery Kit]

    I finally sought help recently, and I found a therapist who specializes in ADHD. I told her my story and, I read what I could on burnout between our sessions to try to make sense of what I went through (and the effects I’m still experiencing). The more I learned, and the more I explored my burnout during therapy, the more I realized that traditional, commonly understood concepts of burnout failed to capture my experience.

    What I went through, I realized, was a form of burnout that I believe affects many of us with ADHD: I call it “hyperfocus burnout.”

    Digging Deeper on Hyperfocus Burnout

    The World Health Organization (WHO) describes burnout as the result of chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. Here’s how the dimensions of burnout match up to my burnout experience:

    • feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion (Yep)
    • increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job (Not really)
    • a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment (Nope)

    As stressful and demanding as leading that project was, I kept going back every day, eager to see it through. I wasn’t mentally distant from my stressor — I was engaged with it. It was all I thought about, day and night. I didn’t feel a sense of ineffectiveness or a lack of accomplishment on the job. It was just the opposite; my job was its own reward, and my productivity and effectiveness increased over time, fueling a positive feedback loop.

    [Read: Hyperfocus — a Blessing and a Curse]

    In my mind, there was nothing to escape or recover from. Sure, I wanted things to calm down, but burnout never showed up on my radar (though others in my life could see it). That’s why it’s typical approaches — like taking breaks, reframing, and increasing rewards – wouldn’t have worked on me.

    A dimension of my experience that I didn’t see reflected in my research was my intense and increasing fear of falling short on my job. As time went on, my perceived consequences for failure worsened and became unrealistic. By the end, what started as “it will be a bad look” turned into the existential “this project could end my career and leave my wife and I destitute.” I won’t deny that these irrational fears also kept me hyperfocused on my work.

    Day to day, when I wasn’t working, I just felt exhausted. I’d have trouble focusing, I was forgetful, and I found it almost impossible to muster the energy required to start day-to-day tasks like cooking and cleaning. All other aspects of my life, including things I truly enjoyed, started to fade away.  Once I started working again, that exhaustion faded away, or at least I didn’t notice it.

    When I did break, it was sudden — as if the branch that I had been perched on all this time had suddenly snapped, leaving me broken on the ground. From one day to the next, I could barely get out of bed. My mind was foggy, my memory was non-existent, and I couldn’t make coherent sentences, let alone work. That extreme state lasted for the next five weeks. I then spent the next five years clawing my way back, only to still be half of my former self; I worked part time and struggled to keep up with the demands of life. The effects of traditional burnout, meanwhile, apparently resolve after a few months.

    Hyperfocus Burnout vs. Traditional Burnout

    With the help of my therapist, here’s where I landed: Traditional burnout is triggered by a mismatch between time, demands, resources, and rewards. Symptoms occur on a spectrum and increase over time as pressure and lack of reward increase.

    Hyperfocus burnout, on the other hand, is triggered only by an overabundance of pressure or demands, particularly on a high-focus activity.

    In traditional burnout, there are efforts to detach and turn away from an unsustainable situation. In hyperfocus burnout, we engage and turn into the unsustainable situation. We push through until the situation ends or we break.

    My therapist, who has seen her fair share of clients with ADHD who have burned out like I have, says those who reach their hyperfocus breaking point push themselves past their limits due to a strong sense of responsibility and a failure to recognize the mental and physiological strain that is accumulating to an inevitable peak.

    Hyperfocus, ultimately, is just another problem with attentional shifting that characterizes ADHD. It’s why many of us will forget to eat or go the bathroom when absorbed in a task. When unchecked, hyperfocus can cause us to sacrifice many life functions in the pursuit of a particularly salient goal.

    Traditional burnout, it seems, is a protective mechanism that helps a person recognize when they’re reaching their limit and are close to breaking. That mechanism failed, in my case, because of my ADHD and attention regulation challenges.

    Recovering from Hyperfocus Burnout

    There is another element to my story: Though I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, I had gone without treatment for most of my adult life, as I had enough strategies to keep the “traditional” inattentive symptoms at bay. My therapist strongly encouraged me to start taking ADHD medication, and I’m glad she did. Medication has reduced my emotional ADHD symptoms (symptoms I hadn’t even been aware were part of ADHD). My existential fear of failure disappeared almost overnight. Stimulant medication reduced my anxiety and increased my resilience to stress; it was much more effective than the SSRI I had previously been prescribed.

    All in all, starting medication allowed me to increase my working hours longer than I have in years, without sacrificing the rest of my life. Now I’m also better able to recognize instances of unhelpful hyperfocus, and I’m much more likely to disengage and use coping strategies — something I struggled to do before. Still, medication is not a fail-safe; I have to be careful about slipping back into old patterns.

    I wish I knew then what I know about extreme hyperfocus. I wish I knew that it could turn into a positive feedback cycle that gets harder to escape the longer you’re in it. I wish I knew that relentless hyperfocus would break me and result in a very long and painful recovery. Maybe if I had this information, I would have listened to my wife and friends; maybe I could have helped my manager realize that I was in serious trouble, even though I was still very effective at my job and not showing the traditional (dare I say, neurotypical) signs of burnout. Maybe I could have prevented my hyperfocus burnout.

    Extreme Burnout and ADHD Hyperfocus: Next Steps

    This piece was a joint effort between Matt and his psychologist, Dr. Petra Hoggarth. Based in Christchurch, New Zealand, Dr. Hoggarth specializes in adult ADHD assessment and therapy.


    CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
    Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

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  • “The Personal Mottos That Transformed My ADHD Life”

    “The Personal Mottos That Transformed My ADHD Life”

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    I never thought I’d have a life-changing revelation in the cereal aisle at Walmart, but that’s exactly what happened. As I tried to decide which breakfast option to buy, my thoughts went something like this:

    I don’t know what to get.

    I really want Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

    But I can’t get that. I should get the Special K.

    Shoulds and musts are instilled in us from the time we are very little. Some of these rules are valuable. Others are more arbitrary, but they still end up governing our lives as rules. In this case, I had made a rule dictating which cereals I can and can’t buy.

    That’s when it hit me.

    Wait, there are no rules! I can buy what I want. I can do what I want!

    ADHD Motto #1: There Are No Rules

    My Walmart moment may not seem like a big deal, but it was an epiphany to me. You see, growing up, my parents taught me very specific ways of doing just about everything. From folding towels to emptying the dishwasher, everything had to be completed a certain way, which was both helpful and harmful. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult that I understood why I struggled so much to keep up with my everyone else’s rules and norms.

    [Read: My 25 Rules for Life — a Practical Cure for ADHD Shame and Stagnation]

    Living — or trying to live — by rules set by neurotypical brains is one of the most frustrating aspects of living with ADHD. Worse than that, we don’t always recognize what’s happening — that we’re beating ourselves up for stumbling over rules that don’t work for our neurodivergent brains.

    After that Walmart moment, and with an understanding of how my brain works, I constantly remind myself that there are no rules. There is no “right” way to do a thing. There’s only the way that works for me.

    How many trash cans should I have in my office? There are no rules — as many as I need. Do I have to fold my clothes before putting them away? No. There are no rules.

    ADHD Motto #2: Anything Worth Doing is Worth Doing Poorly

    Hold on, perfectionists — stay with me here.

    My second motto came from a post I saw on social media, which reads in part: “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.”

    [Read: Intention Deficit Disorder — Why ADHD Minds Struggle to Meet Goals with Action]

    I don’t have to tell you that getting things started is immensely difficult for ADHD brains. There’s overwhelm, for one, and then there’s fear of failure, all of which can keep us at a standstill, perpetuating the cycle of exhaustion we tend to create.

    But this motto gave me permission to do what I can and forget about the big finish line. To me, this motto helped me see that getting 10% of a task done is better than getting none of it done.

    Maybe I absolutely cannot bring myself to do all the dishes — but I can do the glasses, only. Laundry is exhausting — but I can focus on folding just my shorts. No, I cannot write a 40-page paper right now, but I can jot down some ideas. By giving myself permission to do a little at a time, I actually reduced my stress and increased my productivity.

    Adopting the Two Mottos for Your Life

    These mottos have helped me practice self-compassion and affirm my own neurodiversity.

    Embracing the fact there are no rules, and that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, helped me adapt and learn to accept things as they happen, not as someone else says they should.

    But in my own work helping adults with ADHD, I hear a few concerns when I share these mottos with my clients. Mostly, my clients worry that they’ll spin out of control if they become too self-compassionate — that being hard on themselves is the only thing keeping their lives in check. I’ve been there, and I know that this black-and-white form of thinking keeps us trapped.

    Start with these four steps to work toward living with more self-compassion. Perhaps you’ll use these mottos or develop a few of your own:

    1. Watch for patterns. Which tasks do you frequently struggle to get done? Where do you find the most resistance and hot spots in your life?
    2. Troubleshoot with your brain in mind. Time to get creative. Do you struggle to put away your clothes? I’ve seen some people replace their hangers with S-hooks, or even install a pegboard in their Does trash pile up on your desk? Move your trash can within arm’s reach.
    3. Break down daunting tasks. Think smaller steps and remember my second motto. If breaking down a big task is difficult in itself, use a tool like Magic ToDo – GoblinTools to break it down for you. (Seriously, it’s fantastic.)
    4. Remember, there’s always tomorrow. There will be days when we can’t get everything (or anything) done. Those are the days when we need to talk to ourselves as we would to our best friend. We didn’t get everything done that we wanted to, and that’s OK — we can try again

    Personal Mottos for ADHD: Next Steps


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  • “The 3 Vital Keys of Our Happy ADHD Marriage”

    “The 3 Vital Keys of Our Happy ADHD Marriage”

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    The day before our wedding, the entire city of Sydney became blanketed by heavy red dust. I woke up coughing, I could taste dirt in my mouth, and my bedroom was filled with a rusty glow.“Of course the bloody apocalypse would happen the day before my wedding,” I thought to myself. “I bet my fiancé has been raptured while I was left behind!”

    Catastrophizing is normal for me. It’s part anxiety, part comedic coping mechanism. When my fiancé woke to the dust, he just wondered where it came from and thought about washing the car.Though we both have ADHD and had been diagnosed as adults, our general outlook and ways of functioning are wildly different. We are chalk and cheese; I’m the hyperactive type and he’s the inattentive type, which makes for an interesting union, to say the least. But we continue to make it work after all these years (14 and counting at the time of writing). It all comes down to three vital keys.

    Key #1: Never Go to Sleep Angry

    A lot happens when two adults share a life — and a condition that causes countless frustrations. We’re both forgetful, albeit in different ways. He immediately forgets about his keys if he sets them down. While I can remember where my keys are, I don’t always remember what time it is, even if I’ve just checked, or where I am when I’m driving, even on a familiar route.

    [Get This Free Download: Manage ADHD’s Impact on Your Relationship]

    We also struggle in social settings. In our early days especially, my husband — who had lots of trouble reading facial expressions, keeping up with fast-paced conversation, and even stringing a sentence together — would often withdraw from others. While he was unable to tell when people were making fun of him, I was acutely aware of others’ mocking undertones and uncomfortable shifts in the conversation, all of which set my rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and anxiety into overdrive. I felt the need to overcompensate during lulls in conversation and fill the silence with inappropriate babbling and outrageous antics. I’d drink alcohol to try to manage my intense social anxiety, but all it did was make me even more intense, hyperactive, and hypersensitive.

    It can be tempting to cast blame when our individual challenges invariably come up and affect both of us. But no matter what our day has been like, we agreed from the very beginning of our marriage that we would never go to sleep angry at each other.

    This doesn’t mean that we have long conversations into the night to reach resolve. It simply means that we’ve made the choice to push past shame and blame to say we love each other, no matter what. All hurts and misunderstandings do not change how much we love one another.

    Key #2: Always Be Willing to Learn — and to Let Things Go

    Learning about our unique ways of functioning has been so helpful in our marriage. We do our best to help each other in our respective trouble spots in day-to-day living. That has meant learning to let the little things go.

    [Read: Yeah, We Both Have ADHD — and It’s a Marriage Made in Heaven!?]

    There is one clutter-free, easy-access key holder in our home. Sometimes, my husband’s keys don’t make it to the took and land on a nearby table — where they’re bound to end up under a pile of mail. If I see his keys on the table, I put them in the key hook rather than give him a hard time for forgetting. And life runs a little more smoothly for both of us that day.

    In social settings, my husband has worked hard to pick up on signs that my social anxiety is kicking in. He checks in with me and firmly puts his hand on my shoulder or back to ground me. He reminds me to take a walk or remove myself from the stressful situation. More often than not, these strategies ease me back to present. When they don’t work, he doesn’t push it. But later, we reflect on what happened and how we can both try to do things differently next time. Then, we move on.

    Key #3: Never Stop Laughing Together

    The benefits of laughter and of having a sense of humor are well-known. Somehow, throughout our marriage, we’ve had an innate ability to find joy in the hardest of circumstances. Laughter is our reset button. (That’s why it’s hard for us to go to bed angry at each other.) We have literally laughed in the middle of heated arguments (usually at how ridiculous we are behaving), the result being instant tension and stress relief.

    Our Personal Key: Don’t Say The ‘D’ Word

    Many Ds have been unearthed in our relationship: diagnosis, depression, deficit, disorder, dysfunction, dysregulation, dyscalculia, and the list goes on. But we decided from the beginning that one particular ‘D’ word was never going to be on the table: Divorce.

    That word is not hidden up the back of the junk drawer, waiting to be pulled out and thrown into an argument like a gaslit weapon. Sure, there are painful spaces in our relationship that cause us to withdraw, defend, attack, or drag up the muddy waters of the past. But we vowed until death — not diagnosis — do us part.

    With both of us wired as fighters, we are willing to “never say die.” We’ll do everything to fight for our marriage, including holding firm to our keys (the kind we’ll never lose) and even looking for new ones. It’s hard work, but we know that our diagnoses are not a marriage death sentence. They do not define us negatively. They are what make us so strong and loving.

    Happy Marriage Rules for ADHD Couples: Next Steps


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  • Personal Hygiene Tips for ADHD Brains (and Bodies)

    Personal Hygiene Tips for ADHD Brains (and Bodies)

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    Three years ago, I launched the @domesticblisters TikTok channel to serve a neurodiverse audience. Short videos on the channel present strategies for accomplishing daily care tasks. For all the ADHD information swirling around social media, very little addresses how the simple tasks of living are sometimes the hardest for us. Cleaning, doing dishes, folding piles of laundry — these tasks are simple for most people but tend to paralyze some of us with executive functioning problems. Perhaps more difficult than the struggle to stay on top of these tasks is the immense shame we feel when we’re unable to do the things we see our peers accomplish with ease.

    In my experience, this kind of shame tends to spike when we struggle with personal hygiene. How could we be so incapable? Our differences in executive functioning can create significant hurdles when it comes to the daily demands of living. And that makes hygiene routines our common kryptonite.

    [Download: Free Guide to Health & Fitness: Lifestyle Changes for Adults with ADHD]

    The ADHD brain often struggles to transform multiple mundane steps into a routine that works. So instead of forcing on yourself neurotypical routines that are doomed from the start, try adapting your daily hygiene rituals with the following four approaches:

    Personal Hygiene Hacks for ADHD Brains

    1. Rather than trying to adhere to a strict schedule and setting for brushing your teeth, build in flexibility so that you can care for your teeth whenever the thought strikes you. Place a toothbrush and toothpaste in multiple locations: by your kitchen sink, in your shower, in your guest bathroom, and even in your car. Because of the way ADHD motivation systems work, you are most likely to think about brushing your teeth while headed out the door (Oh no! My breath stinks!) or when randomly prompted by the sight of your toothbrush (I’m already here, so I might as well!). You might also consider keeping deodorant and a hairbrush or comb in these places.
    2. If showering is too boring, try getting a waterproof speaker. A good podcast or audiobook that you save for the shower can suddenly transform an onerous chore into a decadent treat. Also, a fancy hair towel or a high-powered blow dryer can reduce time spent on your wet hair.
    3. If showering aggravates your sensory aversion, consider changing your environment to mitigate this. For instance, turning on a space heater before a shower will prevent that awful cold shock you feel when exiting the tub or shower. Using a soft and gentle towel also typically helps.
    4. Create a hygiene kit for the days you skip a shower or bath. You deserve to be clean and comfortable; there is more than one way to get that done. A little bag with deodorant, dry shampoo, body wipes, and mouthwash can be kept in multiple locations in your home and car.

    Maintaining good hygiene is important to your health, so get creative and find what works for your unique brain.

    How to Keep House While Drowning – with ADHD: Next Steps

    KC Davis, LPC, is a licensed professional therapist and the author of How to Keep House While Drowning.


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    Melanie Wachsman

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  • “Stop Chasing Others’ Approval: On Twice Exceptionality and Living Life for Me”

    “Stop Chasing Others’ Approval: On Twice Exceptionality and Living Life for Me”

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    “You’re going to do great things!”
    “You have so much potential!”
    “You’re so talented. I see great things in your future!”
    So many people in my life have directed various versions of these well-meaning yet anxiety-inducing, expectation-laden comments to me during every phase of my academic career. As a gifted child, I felt as though I could succeed and, at the same time, as if I had to… or I would be letting everyone down.This black-and-white way of thinking did get me to check off a list of great accomplishments:

    • first in my family to graduate college, go on to complete a masters, and start a doctoral program
    • a successful career
    • financially independent since age 18

    But hidden in these accomplishments are the many, many struggles and failures I encountered along the way:

    • flunking out my freshman year of college
    • being asked to resign from a job for an error in judgment I made
    • flunking out of my Ph.D. program due to being unable to complete assignments
    • piling on credit card debt

    I eventually learned that my setbacks — so confusing and contrary to my successes — were actually due to undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD. I was twice exceptional (or 2e) all this time, and I had no idea.

    [Read: I Grew Up Gifted and Autistic — and Suffered the Burnout of Twice Exceptionality]

    My undergraduate transcript is a wonderful example of my interest-based nervous system. I had As and Bs in classes within my major, but failed yoga (which likely had to do with my impulsive, oppositional streak).

    Perspective Shift: From Never Enough to Good Enough

    At the age of 29, I came to the realization that my life is my own, and while the approval of others is nice, I would never feel content if I continued to chase it. I made the conscious decision to let go of “greatness” as defined by others and to start experiencing life as it came to me.

    Letting go of greatness freed me up to be content with where I am currently, instead of always trying to do more or be better. I still have personal and professional goals, but these goals are now based on my values rather than the values of other people.

    My shift from “not good enough” to “good enough” has changed my self-view from lazy, unmotivated, and stubborn to efficient, understanding, and passionate.

    [Read: “Twice Exceptional Is a Cruel Double-Edged Sword”]

    Now I am:

    • enrolled in a doctoral program to advance MY learning and knowledge
    • in a job I can see myself in long-term, with opportunities to advance or switch it up, if I choose
    • writing this blog from a house that I own after paying down my debt

    I don’t believe any of this would’ve been possible if I hadn’t made the choice to live life for me, instead of an image I could never realistically attain. I’ve found a specialty I love and a life that finally feels sustainable.

    How to Live for Yourself

    If you are 2e like me, or if you see yourself in my story, start living life for you with these steps:

    1. Clearly identify your current values. Your personal values will come to define and frame everything else you do in life.
    2. Set at least one goal for each value. They can be as broad or as specific as you like. For example, if you value family, how will you commit to spending more time with them?
    3. Let go of the constant pursuit of greatness. If you are always thinking of where you could or should be, it only robs you of the ability to appreciate who and where you are now.
    4. Foster self-compassion. You are a multi-faceted person. Your worth is not directly measured by your productivity or your achievements.

    2e and How to Live for Yourself: Next Steps


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    Nathaly Pesantez

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  • Bad Sleep Cuts Years Off Your Life, but Exercise Can Save You

    Bad Sleep Cuts Years Off Your Life, but Exercise Can Save You

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    April 11, 2023 — Experts recommend most adults get 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night. If you’re among the roughly one-third of people who sleep less (or more), regular exercise may help you dodge possible long-term health consequences like heart disease and early death.

    Plenty of research points to sleep and physical activity as crucial factors impacting life expectancy. Regular exercise can lengthen life, while too little or too much sleep may cut it short.

    But evidence is growing that exercise may counteract the negative effects of poor sleep. A 2022 study found that being physically active for at least 25 minutes a day can erase the risk of early death associated with too much sleep or trouble falling asleep. And a 2021 study found that lower levels of physical activity may exacerbate the impact of poor sleep on early death, heart disease, and cancer. 

    The latest such study, from China, suggests that higher volumes of exercise can virtually eliminate the risk of early death associated with sleeping too little or too long.

    This study is unique, the researchers say, because it used accelerometers (motion-tracking sensors) to quantify sleep and physical activity. Other studies asked participants to report their own data, opening the door to false reports and mistakes. 

    Some 92,000 participants in the U.K. ages 40 to 73 wore the activity trackers for a week to measure how much they moved and slept. In the following 7 years, 3,080 of them died, mostly from cardiovascular disease or cancer.

    As you’d expect, the participants least likely to die also exercised the most and slept the “normal” amount (6 to 8 hours a night, as defined by the study).

    Compared to that group, those who exercised the least and slept less than 6 hours were 2.5 times more likely to die during those 7 years. Less active folks who got the recommended sleep were 79% more likely to die, and the risk was slightly higher than that for those who logged more than 8 hours a night.

    But those risks disappeared for short- or long-sleeping participants who logged at least 150 minutes a week of moderate to vigorous activity. That’s 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week.

    “Exercise fights inflammatory and metabolic dysregulations and abnormal sympathetic nervous system activity,” said study author Jihui Zhang, PhD, of the Affiliated Brain Hospital of Guangzhou in China. Those problems are associated with cardiovascular diseases and other potentially fatal conditions. 

    More Objective Data – With Tech

    A study’s findings are only as good as the data it relies on. That’s why objective data, not influenced by individual perception, is key.

    “Self-report questionnaires are prone to misperception, or recall or response bias,” Zhang explains.

    Take sleep, for example. Research reveals several factors can impact how we judge our sleep. When people have to sleep at irregular times, they often underestimate how many hours they sleep but overestimate how long they nap, found a study in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine

    Another study showed that when people are under a lot of stress, they’ll report more sleep problems than they actually have, as revealed by a sleep monitor. 

    With exercise, participants often report doing more exercise, and doing it at a higher intensity, than objective measurements show they did. At the same time, self-reports typically don’t account for much of the unplanned, low-effort movement people do throughout the day.  

    Staying Active When You’re Tired

    The study raises a practical question: If you don’t get the proper amount of sleep, how are you supposed to find the time, energy, and motivation to exercise?

    The solution is to use one to fix the other. 

    Exercise and sleep have “a robust directional relationship,” Zhang said. Exercise improves sleep, while better sleep makes it easier to stick with an exercise program.

    Ideally, that program will include a mix of cardio and resistance exercise, said Mitch Duncan, PhD, a professor of public health at the University of Newcastle in Australia.

    As Duncan and his co-authors showed in a recent study, “the largest benefits to health occur when people do a combination of both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activity,” Duncan said. 

    “In terms of benefits to sleep, there doesn’t seem to be consistent evidence that favors either as being most effective.”

    The timing or intensity of exercise doesn’t seem to matter much, either. 

    “But there is evidence that a greater duration contributes to larger improvements in sleep,” Duncan said. 

    In other words, longer workouts are generally better, but they don’t necessarily have to be super-intense.

    The strongest evidence of all, however, shows that recent and regular exercise offer the biggest benefits at bedtime.

    Today’s workout will improve tonight’s sleep. And the better you sleep tonight, the more likely you are to stick with the program. 

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  • Have IBD and Insomnia? You’re Not Alone

    Have IBD and Insomnia? You’re Not Alone

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    March 16, 2023 – More than one-third of people with inflammatory bowel disease report trouble sleeping, with moderate or worse insomnia. And the more severe their insomnia, the worse the disability related to their IBD, a new study finds.

    Poor sleep is common with IBD, says lead researcher Alex Barnes, MD, a gastroenterologist and clinical lecturer at Flinders Medical Centre in Bedford Park, Australia. 

    The link between insomnia and IBD has not been studied enough, Barnes says. But insomnia in people with other chronic health conditions has been linked to a poorer quality of life. 

    Barnes and colleagues did an online survey of 670 people with IBD in Australia. They found that clinically significant insomnia was significantly tied to active IBD, belly pain, and significant anxiety and depression.

    Diagnose and Treat

    The study findings suggest people with IBD be screened for trouble with sleep, Barnes says. In the study, people had clinically significant insomnia if they scored a 14 or higher on the Insomnia Severity Index.

    Once identified, “treatment for insomnia is readily available – cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia – through psychologists or even in the form of smartphone applications,” Barnes says. Seeing a sleep specialist is another option and should be considered especially if someone has significant insomnia while their IBD is mild or in remission. 

    When to See a Sleep Specialist

    Asked when insomnia might be serious enough for a person to see a sleep specialist, Jocelyn Cheng, MD, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, says the first step would be to confirm the person has insomnia. This means ruling out another cause of the symptoms, which could include sleep apnea, poor sleep hygiene, or restless legs syndrome. 

    Once insomnia is confirmed, it is important to decide if it significantly impacts a person’s quality of life. This can include attending fewer social- or work-related activities or having a hard time driving, making appointments, or running errands, for example. 

    If no other reason can be found for the insomnia, or if your quality of life is significantly impacted, a sleep expert is a good idea, says Cheng, who is also senior director of clinical research-neuroscience at Eisai Inc.  

    The finding in the study that more severe insomnia – more trouble falling asleep, staying asleep and/or waking up too early – is linked to worse IBD symptoms aligns with evidence from other studies, Cheng says. 

    Insomnia could be a learned behavior from when people with IBD have flares and have trouble sleeping that gets carried over to times when IBD is in remission, Barnes says.

    Multiple tools to identify insomnia exist, Barnes says, and it would be worthwhile to come up with one specific to IBD in the future. 

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  • Mental Health News Radio Sponsor, MyGenetx, Releases Scholarly Article in Future Medicine Ltd Discussing Sleeps Critical Role in Overall Health and Wellness

    Mental Health News Radio Sponsor, MyGenetx, Releases Scholarly Article in Future Medicine Ltd Discussing Sleeps Critical Role in Overall Health and Wellness

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    Mental Health News Radio is proud to announce that MyGenetx, one of their sponsors, has published a scholarly article in Future Medicine Ltd.

    Press Release



    updated: Feb 8, 2018

    Mental Health News Radio is proud to announce that MyGenetx, one of their sponsors, has published a scholarly article in Future Medicine Ltd. The article discusses the importance of sleep in maintaining overall neural and physical health. “The Enigma of Sleep” touches on several facets of sleep’s function. Although sleep has been the topic of research for over 70 years, it remains somewhat of a mystery to scientists. The medical community does know that sleep disorders affect neurological disorders and their coinciding symptoms in a negative way. There is still debate over the exact functional role sleep plays in one’s health, but on a general note, most agree that sleep is a necessity. Sleep studies have shown that lack of sleep decreases cognition, affects normal metabolism and immune response, and increases the likelihood of dementia.  MyGenetx’s Chief Science Officer, Dr. Dave Vigerust, wrote “The Enigma of Sleep” to highlight some of the elements that are indicative of function of sleep.

    This well written article highlights several aspects of sleep function, so the layman can understand more about sleep and how the lack thereof can create discord.  These would include: function and conservation, cognitive impairment due to lack of sleep, genetics and regulation of sleep, neuroimmunology of sleep, and the glymphatic system.  One may not realize that sleep occupies one third of a person’s life. How can something so important to the human existence be so elusive to researchers?  Perhaps it has to do with the complexity of sleep regulation. Dr. Vigerust explains that one’s genetics can deeply affect sleep and sleep patterns. For example, disturbance of sleep circadian cycle can affect one’s immune response causing more inflammation. Inflammation has most recently been associated with depression and PTSD and various other neurological disorders such as autism or Alzheimer’s. Some of the most interesting research Vigerust included in his article was that of the glymphatic system. The glymphatic system is a fluid exchange mechanism in the brain that removes toxins that when not performing efficiently, can cause unhealthy brain function. This research led to a natural link to sleep disturbance in autism. Increased levels of certain toxins in the brain have been linked to autistic behaviors. Hopefully, with a better understanding of the biology of sleep, researchers like Dr. Vigerust can uncover treatment for disorders that are highly affected by sleep disturbances.

    Testing people prior to initiating drug therapy to determine their likely response to different classes of drugs is a key emerging area of genetic testing. Their passion is to change the way people are treated and diagnosed around the world.

    Melanie Vann, Program & Advocacy Director MHNR

    MyGenetx is a CLIA-certified and CAP accredited lab focused on molecular and advanced diagnostic testing. They have become the primary resource for transitioning and implementing precision-guided medicine. Their medical team consists of experts in research and clinical product development for genetics. Personalized Medicine is at the forefront of what they do. Testing people prior to initiating drug therapy to determine their likely response to different classes of drugs is a key emerging area of genetic testing.  Their passion is to change the way people are treated and diagnosed around the world.

    MHNR network is made up of authors, counselors, technologists, and advocates with one common thread: Mental Health. These professionals come together to spread awareness of how mental health affects physical, mental, sexual, spiritual, technological, and financial areas of individual’s lives. Each MHNR network host has a unique voice in the field of mental health. MHNR Network is proud to share their voices with our listeners. The ultimate goal of MHNR has always been to create a platform for advocacy. With this goal in mind, MHNR Network is dedicated to creating a well-rounded network with a robust number of podcasts to choose from.

    Mental Health News Radio is sponsored by several organizations that share common goals. At the forefront of MHNR Network’s goals in 2018 is to obtain a sponsor for the actual network, not just MHNR. This would give the network the extra support it needs to move forward in accomplishing their mission to destigmatize mental health and bring mental wellness into the realm of equivalency with physical health. MHNR Network interviews give voice to world engaging in conversations that matter. They cover a variety of topics including but not limited to: depression, psychological trauma, suicide, addiction, narcissism, codependency, empathy, sexual abuse and many more.

    If you would like to obtain a copy of “The Enigma of Sleep” please contact reprints@futuremedicine.com.

    Source: Mental Health News Radio Network

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